Holiday Vivisections - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

Holiday Vivisections

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
EscherEnigma
Dec 15, 2009 12:31:06 Just to make TA happy. Merry Christmas TA!

So yeah. Talk about all your fun holiday vivisections.

Not being a biology student I've never had to perform a holiday vivisection under the first definition, but a few of the second have led to some... interesting... holidays. Have I mentioned that there was a period of six months where all I talked about with my parents was whether or not I was filing as a dependent or not? Yeah. But mostly it's just the usual bickering whenever you get a bunch of overly-critical sarcastic smart**** together in one place. As a side note, every member of my family (even to the grandparents) are overly-critical sarcastic smart****.

So how about your holiday vivisections?
#2
zombie_babies
Dec 15, 2009 12:38:46 Hm. While I've skinned/processed deer during the holidays more than once, they were quite dead at the time. The only vivisections I've been party to were done during school hours and therefore outside of the holidays. No Christmas for those froggies. Ribbit.
#3
Mechalibur
Dec 15, 2009 14:08:31
*Grabs a dictionary*
#4
EscherEnigma
Dec 15, 2009 14:09:15
I'm not sure I understand this thread...
so I will simply say nothing... much.

Just OTTers being odd. TA made a comment in the Holiday Visitations thread, and I decided to turn it into a bad gag thread.
#5
WolfLordBran
Dec 15, 2009 14:17:32 Once as a mere pup I was given a science kit with all sorts of goodies for Wolfmass. Microscope, slides, preserved bee, you name it it was in there. Being the little mad scientist that I was (and still am), I disected the bumblebee. Removed the stinger and everything. Pretty neat, especially to a 6 year old.

Alright, the bee was already dead, but it's close enough ain't it?
#6
zombie_babies
Dec 15, 2009 14:27:42 No. It needed to be alive. Like them frogs I done cut apart back in High School. We even got to do experiments with their parts. See what hot/cold water, aspirin, etc does to their heart (it continues to beat for quite some time after removal), make their organless carcasses jump with direct electrical stimulation applied to visible nerves and other fun crap. We had to get a li'l creative after the water we used on one of our froggy hearts was too hot - damn near boiled the bastard. It began beating very irregularly and that meant we couldn't gather data properly (looking for bpm change). Once it became apparent the heart was just about finished, I decided to take the electrodes we were using for the jump experiment and zap the heart with 'em. Surprisingly, after a few zaps, the beat returned to an almost regular pace. Our teacher witnessed our Hail Mary and we got an A.

We did several frogs over the course of a week. My partner and I used to time each other to see if we could open a frog and remove the requested organs at a better pace each time. By the end of the week, we could unzip a frog, pull its heart and stick the still beating thing on a pin in the dissection board in under 30 seconds. The girls were not as impressed with our acumen as we were. Still, it was fun. Probably shoulda donated the legs to a shelter or something, but I wasn't in charge of that crap.
#7
WolfLordBran
Dec 15, 2009 14:43:05 Damn...

Oh well, we may get to vivesect some lemon sharks in Bio Diversity Class this year. And since my teacher is such an awesome guy, I'll probably find a way to remove and sneak the jaws home. Tell people I killed a shark for it (which technically, is true).
#8
zombie_babies
Dec 15, 2009 14:48:00
That would certainly count as vivisection. Not as holiday vivisection, however (mine didn't either so it's all good in the hood - unless you're a frog). Removing the teeth from a shark is a gigantic pain in the ass. For reals. It'll take some time. We were allowed to remove the skin from our frogs - which was also difficult. Nothing like pulling a shark's jaw, however. They're tough critters and the jaws are located in a tough spot. Be very careful with the knife and the teeth - otherwise you may end up vivisecting yourself.
#9
WolfLordBran
Dec 15, 2009 14:59:16

That would certainly count as vivisection. Not as holiday vivisection, however (mine didn't either so it's all good in the hood - unless you're a frog). Removing the teeth from a shark is a gigantic pain in the ass. For reals. It'll take some time. We were allowed to remove the skin from our frogs - which was also difficult. Nothing like pulling a shark's jaw, however. They're tough critters and the jaws are located in a tough spot. Be very careful with the knife and the teeth - otherwise you may end up vivisecting yourself.

It may end up with me placing the shark on the floor (their skin has a good grip to it, so it should hold), putting a foot on the snout to hold that end down and the other near the tail and applying obscene amounts of rage and strength to it until removed. After putting on armored gloves of course. Shark teeth and sharp! Not exactly stealthy but pretty damn effective. Then for good measure I might unleash a primal roar to show my dominance over the superior marine predator.
#10
zombie_babies
Dec 15, 2009 15:05:22 As well you should. You did defeat the monster, after all. However, I do feel that combat like this needs to be proven on both competitors' terms. Take, for example, college football. It is somewhat traditional to play a non-conference team (especially a respected team) both away and at home. So I propose that after you bask in your well-earned victory, you take a year off and prepare to face the shark on its terms the next year. Find one in the ocean and engage it in combat to the death - winner takes the jaw. It's the only way to be fair, you know. And, in case you're wondering, I have taken frogs on in their own element. As evidenced by the fact that I'm here to type this, I came out on top every time.
#11
toastedamphibian
Dec 15, 2009 15:19:44
As evidenced by the fact that I'm here to type this, I came out on top every time.

Or did you.....
#12
WolfLordBran
Dec 15, 2009 15:29:47 Sweet Merciful Yeenoghu! The frogs got ZB! It's the Frogpocalypse! Darn you TA, you could've saved him!

#13
zombie_babies
Dec 15, 2009 15:42:23
Or did you.....

Oh I did. I did. Trust me, there's no ribbit way those damned frogs could defeat me.
#14
dirtyfrank
Dec 15, 2009 16:24:23
Or did you.....

Oh I did. I did. Trust me, there's no ribbit way those damned frogs could defeat me.

Then you'll need to do more than toast them. ;)
#15
EscherEnigma
Dec 15, 2009 16:42:27
As evidenced by the fact that I'm here to type this, I came out on top every time.

[Insert bad joke about being "on top" here]
#16
toastedamphibian
Dec 16, 2009 5:14:33
Or did you.....

Oh I did. I did. Trust me, there's no ribbit way those damned frogs could defeat me.

Your lack of vital signs suggest otherwise.
#17
zombie_babies
Dec 16, 2009 8:44:52
Then you'll need to do more than toast them. ;)

Does frying work?

[Insert bad joke about being "on top" here]

There is no such animal as a bad on top joke.

Your lack of vital signs suggest otherwise.

And just how do you presume to know I didn't lack those when my battle against the frogs began? Ribbit.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 EscherEnigma Dec 15, 2009 12:31:06	Just to make TA happy. Merry Christmas TA! So yeah. Talk about all your fun holiday vivisections. Not being a biology student I've never had to perform a holiday vivisection under the first definition, but a few of the second have led to some... interesting... holidays. Have I mentioned that there was a period of six months where all I talked about with my parents was whether or not I was filing as a dependent or not? Yeah. But mostly it's just the usual bickering whenever you get a bunch of overly-critical sarcastic smart**** together in one place. As a side note, every member of my family (even to the grandparents) are overly-critical sarcastic smart****. So how about your holiday vivisections?
#2 zombie_babies Dec 15, 2009 12:38:46	Hm. While I've skinned/processed deer during the holidays more than once, they were quite dead at the time. The only vivisections I've been party to were done during school hours and therefore outside of the holidays. No Christmas for those froggies. Ribbit.
#3 Mechalibur Dec 15, 2009 14:08:31	Grabs a dictionary
#4 EscherEnigma Dec 15, 2009 14:09:15	I'm not sure I understand this thread... so I will simply say nothing... much. Just OTTers being odd. TA made a comment in the Holiday Visitations thread, and I decided to turn it into a bad gag thread.
#5 WolfLordBran Dec 15, 2009 14:17:32	Once as a mere pup I was given a science kit with all sorts of goodies for Wolfmass. Microscope, slides, preserved bee, you name it it was in there. Being the little mad scientist that I was (and still am), I disected the bumblebee. Removed the stinger and everything. Pretty neat, especially to a 6 year old. Alright, the bee was already dead, but it's close enough ain't it?
#6 zombie_babies Dec 15, 2009 14:27:42	No. It needed to be alive. Like them frogs I done cut apart back in High School. We even got to do experiments with their parts. See what hot/cold water, aspirin, etc does to their heart (it continues to beat for quite some time after removal), make their organless carcasses jump with direct electrical stimulation applied to visible nerves and other fun crap. We had to get a li'l creative after the water we used on one of our froggy hearts was too hot - damn near boiled the bastard. It began beating very irregularly and that meant we couldn't gather data properly (looking for bpm change). Once it became apparent the heart was just about finished, I decided to take the electrodes we were using for the jump experiment and zap the heart with 'em. Surprisingly, after a few zaps, the beat returned to an almost regular pace. Our teacher witnessed our Hail Mary and we got an A. We did several frogs over the course of a week. My partner and I used to time each other to see if we could open a frog and remove the requested organs at a better pace each time. By the end of the week, we could unzip a frog, pull its heart and stick the still beating thing on a pin in the dissection board in under 30 seconds. The girls were not as impressed with our acumen as we were. Still, it was fun. Probably shoulda donated the legs to a shelter or something, but I wasn't in charge of that crap.
#7 WolfLordBran Dec 15, 2009 14:43:05	Damn... Oh well, we may get to vivesect some lemon sharks in Bio Diversity Class this year. And since my teacher is such an awesome guy, I'll probably find a way to remove and sneak the jaws home. Tell people I killed a shark for it (which technically, is true).
#8 zombie_babies Dec 15, 2009 14:48:00	That would certainly count as vivisection. Not as holiday vivisection, however (mine didn't either so it's all good in the hood - unless you're a frog). Removing the teeth from a shark is a gigantic pain in the ass. For reals. It'll take some time. We were allowed to remove the skin from our frogs - which was also difficult. Nothing like pulling a shark's jaw, however. They're tough critters and the jaws are located in a tough spot. Be very careful with the knife and the teeth - otherwise you may end up vivisecting yourself.
#9 WolfLordBran Dec 15, 2009 14:59:16	That would certainly count as vivisection. Not as holiday vivisection, however (mine didn't either so it's all good in the hood - unless you're a frog). Removing the teeth from a shark is a gigantic pain in the ass. For reals. It'll take some time. We were allowed to remove the skin from our frogs - which was also difficult. Nothing like pulling a shark's jaw, however. They're tough critters and the jaws are located in a tough spot. Be very careful with the knife and the teeth - otherwise you may end up vivisecting yourself. It may end up with me placing the shark on the floor (their skin has a good grip to it, so it should hold), putting a foot on the snout to hold that end down and the other near the tail and applying obscene amounts of rage and strength to it until removed. After putting on armored gloves of course. Shark teeth and sharp! Not exactly stealthy but pretty damn effective. Then for good measure I might unleash a primal roar to show my dominance over the superior marine predator.
#10 zombie_babies Dec 15, 2009 15:05:22	As well you should. You did defeat the monster, after all. However, I do feel that combat like this needs to be proven on both competitors' terms. Take, for example, college football. It is somewhat traditional to play a non-conference team (especially a respected team) both away and at home. So I propose that after you bask in your well-earned victory, you take a year off and prepare to face the shark on its terms the next year. Find one in the ocean and engage it in combat to the death - winner takes the jaw. It's the only way to be fair, you know. And, in case you're wondering, I have taken frogs on in their own element. As evidenced by the fact that I'm here to type this, I came out on top every time.
#11 toastedamphibian Dec 15, 2009 15:19:44	As evidenced by the fact that I'm here to type this, I came out on top every time. Or did you.....
#12 WolfLordBran Dec 15, 2009 15:29:47	Sweet Merciful Yeenoghu! The frogs got ZB! It's the Frogpocalypse! Darn you TA, you could've saved him!
#13 zombie_babies Dec 15, 2009 15:42:23	Or did you..... Oh I did. I did. Trust me, there's no ribbit way those damned frogs could defeat me.
#14 dirtyfrank Dec 15, 2009 16:24:23	Or did you..... Oh I did. I did. Trust me, there's no ribbit way those damned frogs could defeat me. Then you'll need to do more than toast them. ;)
#15 EscherEnigma Dec 15, 2009 16:42:27	As evidenced by the fact that I'm here to type this, I came out on top every time. [Insert bad joke about being "on top" here]
#16 toastedamphibian Dec 16, 2009 5:14:33	Or did you..... Oh I did. I did. Trust me, there's no ribbit way those damned frogs could defeat me. Your lack of vital signs suggest otherwise.
#17 zombie_babies Dec 16, 2009 8:44:52	Then you'll need to do more than toast them. ;) Does frying work? [Insert bad joke about being "on top" here] There is no such animal as a bad on top joke. Your lack of vital signs suggest otherwise. And just how do you presume to know I didn't lack those when my battle against the frogs began? Ribbit.