Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 yunkel98 Jan 13, 2010 20:42:56	"Daddy, how can Santa deliver all presents to the childreen of all the world in single a night?" Asked one day John to his father. "It´s complex procedure, son, let me explain you": "Know that Santa is a powerful wizard. During all year he is out gaining experience to increase his already epic levels. He is often seen on the Blood War, killing devils and demons alike, but the day before Christmas he returns to his HQ where his elves (both surface and drow) have the presents ready. He studies his spellbook and at midnight he begins the difficult task." First he disguises himself as the big red fat Santa with long beard that we all know. "Second, he uses a divine staff to dispel the "anti-magic field" that covers our world. That's the reasons why mankind can´t cast spells, my son. God (AO´s father) foresaw human´s destrutive nature, so to prevent an early extinction, he instructed Santa to cast that "anti-magic field". Anyway. Immediately after he dispels it, he cast "Time stop" this spell freezes everything, even time, to everyone but him. But that spell don´t last for long so he casts an "epic permanency spell" on it. Now that he has all time time in the world and that we are frozen in time without noticing, it starts the hard part." "He casts "Project Image" and that image does the same on itself and the next image does the same until he has one million copies on himself. Each copy then casts "fly", "haste", "Ghost form" and each one take a bag of holding (containing hundreds of presents each) and then uses a special rod to teleport on a designated block of each world's cities, the image then flies through each house and delivers the presents. The images of Santa perform this work until the duraation of the spell expires. If need arises the original Santa casts more images until all children in the world have their present under the Christmas Tree." "It is also worth mentioning that the images of Santa are instructed to take the milk and cookies some childreen leave for him and (since they can´t eat them) they give them to your dog or in the event that you don´t own one, to your neighbor dog, so when the "time stop" ends, the dog eats them. After all the work, Santa casts desintegration spells to any of the images that may still wander and then dismisses his permanency spell on "time stop". then recast the "Anti-magic field", on the world and goes to study and sleep to regain his spells and next day go on adventuring." "That´s what Santa does, John, my son" "Trully father?." "Of course!" "Why does he bother to disguise himself if we are frozen in time? "That because there are several areas in the world that even the most powerful spells fail, like the Bermuda Triangle and the zone of silence in Mexico". People there aren't entirely affected by Santas's time stop, so in the even that one person there manages to catch a glimpse of one of Santa's images, he would see the red fat guy and not Santa as he really is. "What about Rudolph and the rest of the reindeers?" "They died long ago. Santa might be immortal but his reindeers were not." "But how can Santa be so powerful and immortal?" "Because he is a chosen of Mask, son". "A chosen of the Shadowlord? Like Drasek Riven and Erevis Cale?" "Indeed. In fact he is the fifth of five." "But wait, isn´t Mask dead?" "That´s what he want us to believe" "And why would Mask want to give presents to all children? What does he gain by doing that?" "Son, you are starting to ask too many questions and that annoys me." Go to sleep, when you grow up more I´ll tell you all about that. "Okay, good night Nyorori (his snake pet), good night papa" "Good night, my son." And with that Jarlaxle took his son to bed, sang him a lullaby and after the boy fell asleep, prepared himself a coffee and wondered why in the nine hells he did name his own son John.
#2 Escef Jan 13, 2010 22:58:21	Henceforth, all toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Johns!