My husband and I were watching a game on TV. We were looking at an overhead view of Dungeon Tiles. A rogue mini was in a corner room with no door, just an opening. A beholder was just out of LoS outside of the room. John Madden’s voice came on:
“Now he has to be careful which way he goes, because any path he takes is going to run him right in front of those eyestalks!”
This was accompanied by Madden’s customary on-screen lines. I don’t know who the other announcer was but he added that ending his turn within two squares of the paladin would go a long way to helping him stay alive.
An arm reached for the rogue mini and moved him 12 squares in an arcing pattern, accompanied by Madden again:
“Oh! Did you see that?!? He used TWO move actions and swung wide, avoiding an Attack of Opportunity by the beholder!”
“That was spectacular, John! Now all he has to hope is that the norker slinger rolls a natural 1, and he’ll be clear for a healing surge on his next turn.”
Then the screen cut to CGI depiction of the action.
Hmmm, think we can sell the idea to ESPN?
I'm sure my group will thank you for doing this to them >_>
EDIT: But only with Madden. No play-by-play is hilarious like a Madden play-by-play.
My husband and I were watching a game on TV. We were looking at an overhead view of Dungeon Tiles. A rogue mini was in a corner room with no door, just an opening. A beholder was just out of LoS outside of the room. John Madden’s voice came on:
“Now he has to be careful which way he goes, because any path he takes is going to run him right in front of those eyestalks!”
If John Madden says you need to be careful what you do next, you're probably safe. On the other hand, if he says there's no way that beholder can reach you, it's time for total defense and action point/second wind.
http://www.rpg.net/news+reviews/reviews/rev_7654.html
Makes me think of X-Crawl, and makes me think someone should update it for 4E:
http://www.rpg.net/news+reviews/reviews/rev_7654.html
I desperately want to play this.
That's Madden. The one time I heard him explain how gaining 10 yards gives you a first down for 5 straight minutes.
Makes me think of X-Crawl, and makes me think someone should update it for 4E:
http://www.rpg.net/news+reviews/reviews/rev_7654.html
Xcrawl had a really cool backstory and could lead to some really cool campaigns, but was also perfect for a drop-game.
Oh, not enough people were able to make it to this session to play normal campaign? "Everyone roll up a character real quick, Welcome to the Tennessee Invitational" Then the DM can just use any type of monster he wants. Frost Worms in the same environment as Magmin? OK!
"Well, he left the 7 and 8 pins up with that first ball. I think his plan right now is to go after them." ... No,
, Sherlock?That's Madden. The one time I heard him explain how gaining 10 yards gives you a first down for 5 straight minutes.
That's nothing, I once heard him talk for 4 minutes and 38 seconds about how the kicker should be in the huddle. and doesn't the kicker need to be in the huddle? if I was a kicker I'd be in the huddle. when you where a kicker Pat were you in the huddle? and why isn't the kicker in the huddle?
I definately think a couple ads with Frank Caliendo doing the voice would be great!
Jeez! Sounds like street names for illegal substances, eh?
Those games are illegal on some streets.
I had the craziest dream...
My D&D dreams are usually about finding some really cool, obscure 1st edition rulebook I hadn't heard of before and I can't... get... to the checkout counter. It's never dreams about violent action, or wish-fulfillment spells-- just rulebook shopping. I feel betrayed by my own escapism!
REPORTER: Was this the outcome you imagined?
GEEK: Totally not. I brainstormed with my Optimization team and thought I had a really good halfling rogue, especially with the Artful Dodger build as a foundation, but you can't dodge very artfully when the DM has giant spiders spewing webs all over you.
REPORTER: What about that 5th encounter flag for Metagaming? It looked like it really broke your stride.
GEEK: I was soooooo not metagaming! That ruling should have been overturned. My halfling likes to read, surely he'd know something about Ropers!
REPORTER: Are you going to anything different to prepare for the next match?
GEEK: I'm going back to Funyuns and Jolt. Red Bull messes with my ability to concentrate.
This would make a great advertising campaign, you're right.
Anyone remember the old MtG ones with the CG monsters? : D
Anyone remember the old MtG ones with the CG monsters? : D
You mean like when they put a Mexican wrestler, a rabbit, and a chain saw in a transporter pod from "The Fly", and got a Kezzerdrix?
I guess the closest I've ever come to an actual D&D dream would be the one where a beholder kept offering me a bucket of apples. He kept whispering, "eat them...eat them". I didn't eat them...then I woke up. I know...weak...
That made me luagh, and I would happily pay Wizards to make these commercials, and pay for them to be on a big time network, like Cartoon network, or better yet, ESPN to stick it to the jocks!
I guess the closest I've ever come to an actual D&D dream would be the one where a beholder kept offering me a bucket of apples. He kept whispering, "eat them...eat them". I didn't eat them...then I woke up. I know...weak...
but also a little creepy. What would've happened if you ate them in your dream 
They would have been delicious.
Beats me...for all I know, they would have turned into little-bitty baby beholders when I picked them up. --shudder--
That made me luagh, and I would happily pay Wizards to make these commercials, and pay for them to be on a big time network, like Cartoon network, or better yet, ESPN to stick it to the jocks!
I'm just imagining some geek-hating jock watching wrestling, then sitting through a commercial where some costumed wrestler gets into a ring with some skinny little horn-rimmed glasses wearing geek. They fly at each other and the geek slams the wrestler to the mat, taking him out of the fight for good, and starts strutting around the ring saying "NATURAL 20! YEAH! EAT THAT, BABY!" Fade to black with D&D Logo and text "It Could Only Happen Here".
I had a series of potential commercials kind of sketched out. Maybe I should submit them. They had recurring characters including the gamer geek chick and Trevor, the cross-gender PC player.
Although I do have to admit I liked the 3e banner at the roller rink. I wish I could find the picture. It had the 3e D&D logo and the text "Hot chicks in padded leather? We're there!"
I had the craziest dream, and I blame the Superbowl.
My husband and I were watching a game on TV. We were looking at an overhead view of Dungeon Tiles. A rogue mini was in a corner room with no door, just an opening. A beholder was just out of LoS outside of the room. John Madden’s voice came on:
“Now he has to be careful which way he goes, because any path he takes is going to run him right in front of those eyestalks!”
This was accompanied by Madden’s customary on-screen lines. I don’t know who the other announcer was but he added that ending his turn within two squares of the paladin would go a long way to helping him stay alive.
An arm reached for the rogue mini and moved him 12 squares in an arcing pattern, accompanied by Madden again:
“Oh! Did you see that?!? He used TWO move actions and swung wide, avoiding an Attack of Opportunity by the beholder!”
“That was spectacular, John! Now all he has to hope is that the norker slinger rolls a natural 1, and he’ll be clear for a healing surge on his next turn.”
Then the screen cut to CGI depiction of the action.
Hmmm, think we can sell the idea to ESPN?
If that's your craziest dream then consider yourself lucky
Brother was a rogue, I was a sorc. There was a bard, cleric, monk, and druid there as well, who all looked like their players.
We were fighting... Things. They looked like chokers, but were insanely strong. I remember getting grabbed by one and pulled in.
I remember seeing my shadow as it was holding me up in the air, ready to throw me across the room.
I activated my Dragon Disciple powers.
My shadow started growing, wings sprouted from my back, and I breathed a huge blast of lightning at the beast. Then I turned around and Magic Missiles each other choker, slamming them hard enough to get them off my allies.
All this to a soundtrack of Mudvayne (who I actually didn't like so much at the time), Slipknot, and Disturbed. yeah, I loved mainstream at the time.
I've had similar dreams about later campaigns, but I never get them more than once. Still waiting for the one about my paladin of the RQ. Plus it'd be interesting to see my friend as a Shadar-Kai.
I've had dreams about being in a real, live D&D adventure. I remember the town was out to lynch us because the wizard was mistaken as an evil guy. We bolted out of town on stolen horses, which only made matters worse. We had to abandon the treasure we were splitting up, which really sucked, but we got out with our lives. For some reason, I was a bard. The wizard and I lost track of everyone else, so we set out on our own way, hoping that the fates would bring us back together again.
I wish I could find a balance that I could play under. Like at your games, Shiftkitty. I'm almost tempted to dig up some of your old posts and show them to my brother (he's good, but really tends to focus on one thing at a time per session and basically makes things up as he goes.)
My GF would also love to not feel like she's alone as the only girl there.
/derail
My dreams are always violent, anyways. Had a series of them over the course of several nights about a zombie apocalypse. Ended up having to kill everyone I knew because they were infected.
Woke up shaking.