change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Joke answer: My lack of opportunity to disprove that money does not buy happiness (all I want is the chance to disprove it! C'mon, it's for science!)
Serious answer: My problem with self-motivation. Namely, it's very hard for me to get myself motivated. Assigned tasks with clear goals and progress? Sure. Vague goals with lots of rope to hang myself with? I flounder completetly.
But a more practical answer would be based upon my motivation and not being too comfortable with things which aren't want I really want.
For example, my job (which at least is in the same field as my degree) was originally gotten to give me experience (and money) since I couldn't land my first choices. I was going to use their school programs to get a better job, but wound up staying here because its comfortable (although unsatifying), pays well, and has good benefits. You know all the "sell out" parts of a job.
But now I don't want to go through the interview process and I think I'm probably a worse candidate now than I was 5 to 6 years ago. So I'm just a sell out now.
I'm too comfortable with "good enough".
change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
How easily discouraged and unmotivated I can be.
I've been looking for a job off and on. Not nearly as much as I should be. Because I find the whole damned thing so depressing. I know I can do the job, and do it better than probably anyone they have. But I'm not even given the shot to try! I don't even make it to the interview stage. When I make the interview stage I have always gotten the job. But I don't even really get the chance to make it even that far.
And that really depresses me and keeps me from wanting to even bother. Because I know how it's going to end. In Nothing. Everytime.
Then there's me working on my own car, or what have you. Friends stuff? Stuff for a neighbor, stuff for a customer? (When I was working) No problem. Infact I'd have it done faster and more thoroughly than expected. But Mine? Pfft I hardly touch the damned thing.
Because like my job hunting it results in the same thing quite often. Nothing. How I can do so much right for other people, and fail so hard with myself is beyond my understanding.
I seem to be noticing a trend with this whole "self-motivation" thing...
This is the internet. Got something you should be doing? Have an urge to procrastinate? Lets see whats on the internet! I'll only browse for a little while, surely...
This results in my having a small group of close friends & family. After that everone else ends up at arms lenth+. Makes it tough to add to that inner circle & frustrates others.
My problem with self-motivation. Namely, it's very hard for me to get myself motivated. Assigned tasks with clear goals and progress? Sure. Vague goals with lots of rope to hang myself with? I flounder completetly.
Yeah, mostly that. And I really could use a higher Charisma score.
Oh! And a pony. Can I ask for a pony?
The brain chemistry/structure issue which cause me to have dyslexia and Aspergers. If it had to choose one or the other, then I would get rid of Aspergers.
In-character:
I would have this fleshy body replaced and exterminated to make room for a superior structure to house this personality.
Out-of-character:
My method of prioritizing things. Somethings rarely get done as I'd deem other objectives more worthy of my time.
Real Answer: Hating myself over every little thing I do wrong. I need to stop doing that...
Serious answer: My problem with self-motivation. Namely, it's very hard for me to get myself motivated. Assigned tasks with clear goals and progress? Sure. Vague goals with lots of rope to hang myself with? I flounder completetly.
QFT - this applies to myself as well. If I could keep focus and motivated, I might actually be able to accomplish writing my book(s).
One less butterfly sneeze to worry about that way.
Anything you say?
I'd like to be a smug arrogant son of a bitch whose belief in my own greatness is so overpowering that people I've just met find themselves going along with whatever I do.
I've spent the last decade working on it. It hasn't been entirely unsuccessful.
Or my lack of motivation and procrastinating tendencies.
Maybe I'll get to work on the second one tomorrow...
