Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 dmrannn May 15, 2009 11:21:02	DMrannn saunters into the tavern, leisure suit sparkling with a hideous array of sequins in a vaguely phallic shape on the right side of his chest. His curly chest hair peeks like the fingers of a thousand ... hair-pygmies. Between the low dip of his zipper. He tilts his head to each side, and there is an audible cracking sound. He's either gtting ready for a fight, or has some sort of arthritic neck joinings. The look on his face says he'll die before he tells you. There is a sneer squatting on his mouth like a grade school boy farting on you in the playground. His hands are clenched in fists of rage, or permanent claws from the carpal tunnel that will surely someday eat its way up his entire arms and grasp his heart like an gnarled demon. Around his neck, hanging low and perching squarely on the paunch of stomach just below his savagely dipping neckline is a large d20 that's been spray painted to look gold. Except it doesn't, it just looks like gold spray paint, and his swat has worn it off in places. He smells like trouble. Or something troubled. By garlic. "I'm here, Off Topic Tavern." The man glances around the menagerie of forum-goers, and winks at Rick Astley, Dr. Tran, Charlie the Unicorn, and Tub Girl. Well, he shudders at that last one, doesn't really wink. You just can't wink at something like that. He pulls out an 80's style cassette tape deck, and plugs it into an old boom box that he then plugs into the wall. He presses play on the boom box. Silence. "Wait, wait, do over!" DMrannn enters the room, leisure suit sparkling with a hideous array of sequins...(etc) He presses play on the tape deck, THEN the boom box. Intimidating music begins to play. He smiles in satisfaction. He steps forward, but trips over one of the trailing cords, and the tape deck starts playing side B through the massive boom-box speakers. It's the Golden Girls theme, apparently recorded with the tape deck microphone from his TV. Even despite the screening and static, the hollow melody is unmistakable. An air of rancid corruption fills the tavern. "Like the Fonz before me, the RANNN has arrived."
#2 baneofelves May 15, 2009 11:24:46	*grabs rockit launcha* *turns up the volume on the song Leper Messiah* *grins* Hey there, new guy! :D *fires rock-it launcha at the new guy*