There have been a few for me over the years, including a weird blood illness as an infant that apparently had me within hours of death - but the one that sticks out most is far more dramatic and stupid.
I was waiting for a subway, standing right at the edge of the platform and very near the tunnel where the train enters the station and is traveling the fastest. Noticing my bootlace was untied I bent on one knee and retied it. Just as I stood back up the train came whooshing in, just inches from me. Only then did I realize that when I had been kneeling down my head had been hanging over the edge and directly in front of the onrushing train. If I'd taken just 2 or 3 more seconds to tie my boot that train would've taken my head clean off. Most close call don't bother me too much, but that one still gives me the shivers.
This next one isn't mine, it happened to my best mate.
Up at the cottage he was out canoeing and decided to take the river between his lake and the much larger one a couple miles away, a trip both he and I had done many times without incident. There is a spot where the river splits around an island. As he goes around the island he comes under heavy fire. Gunshots going off like crazy, a round take a notch out of his paddle, and he hears two whiz past his ear. Once the firing stops he paddles around the island to find out what the hell was going on. Turns out some drunken yokels had set up targets on the island and were shooting at them from the opposite bank.
then i see the town bus not stopping in the corner of my eye. either he missed the light or wasn't paying attention (a mix of both i think), i don't know. all i remember is being a deer in headlights for a second, gripping my sub and jumping out of the way. bus guy slams breaks. had i not moved i would have been hurt pretty bad i'm imagining.
i just zoned out for the rest of the day. my manager kinda looked at me weird when he asked why i was out of it. he didn't expect the answer that followed.
just got out of subway (the sandwitch place) with a delicious foodstuffs in hand. it's right by a corner so i'm waiting and salivating as the light just turned to "crossing is ok" so i start a walking, with dreams of sammiches dancing in my head.
then i see the town bus not stopping in the corner of my eye. either he missed the light or wasn't paying attention (a mix of both i think), i don't know. all i remember is being a deer in headlights for a second, gripping my sub and jumping out of the way. bus guy slams breaks. had i not moved i would have been hurt pretty bad i'm imagining.
i just zoned out for the rest of the day. my manager kinda looked at me weird when he asked why i was out of it. he didn't expect the answer that followed.
Since you're obviously okay, here's the important question: Did the grinder make it? Did it need an emergency mayo-infusion with 20ccs spicy mustard?
Another time was really my dad's fault. I was about 12 years old and he for some reason decided we needed to go rock climbing near a ski resort in February, just the two of us, sans any actual equipment. I got stuck, and he took off his belt and had me wrap it around one wrist and hang on for support. My foot unsurprisingly slipped on the ubiquitous ice and I was dangling in the air hundreds of feet above nothing but ice and sharp rocks. To make matters worse, as I have noticed many times before and since in scary situations, my brain seems unable to process extreme fear and just sort of switches it over to humor, kind of hysteria I guess, so I at that point found myself overwhelmed by uncontrollable laughter. I have no idea to this day how exactly we got me off that cliff, giggling like an idiot the whole way, though I do remember for some reason how bad my feet hurt when they started to warm up in the car afterwards.
Since you're obviously okay, here's the important question: Did the grinder make it? Did it need an emergency mayo-infusion with 20ccs spicy mustard?
what kind of freak would destroy a perfectly good sub with mayo and mustard?!
the sub was delicious. it's my regular meatball marinara footlong on a parmesan oregano bread, toasted with montery jack cheese, then some lettuce, BBQ sauce, salt & pepper. simple yet delicious.
what kind of freak would destroy a perfectly good sub with mayo and mustard?!
A sandwich from Subway is, by definition, neither perfect nor good.
There was another time when I accidentally got into a fight over and axe that, if I'd lost, would've ended up with said axe buried in my skull. Through a series of unconnected events, I ended up with an axe in my had and angry about something of mine being ruined at a party. The guy who did the ruining figured I was going to axe the offender when I found out who it was, though in fact I had been on my way to put the axe away safely at the time and forgot I had it.
Second I turned my back he jumped me and went for the axe. I've heard in the past of time slowing down but had never experienced it before that moment. Even though I was struggling for my life I took in every detail of the scene, right down to thinking it would be amusing to swing around and use the guy on my back to knock the drink out of someone else's hand. A total Matrix moment. Now I know I had no violent intent, but this guy thought I was out for blood and was trying to return the assumed favour.
I'm 6'4" and at the time had long hair and a big, burly beard. People used to call me "viking", "ogre" and "Amish axe-murderer". I realized that with this guy on my back and holding the haft of the axe, all I had to do was fully extend my arm, thus dislocating his. I Saw him a few times after that. For some reason he used to quiver shake like a very nervous leaf whenever he saw me.
