So let's say your Bard / Druid / Ranger casts "Speak With Animals" on a squirrel. What would a squirrel have to say? I'm thinking he's highly distracted (oh hey, y'all seen any acorns?) and while well-meaning, might often lose his train of (Ooo! Didja see that bird?!... what was I saying? Hey, you're not a Yuan-ti are you?) thought.
Anyway... I'd like to have some random non-sequiturs on hand, plus some notes on the kinds of topics that would be important to your average squirrel in the forest.
(D&D 5e)
Thanks in advance -
"How do you climb trees with those stubby little claws?"
"This stupid bird keeps dropping dookies on my favorite branch!"
(during winter) "Maaaaan, I'm sleepy... make it snappy tall stuff, it's cold." (had to correct myself here, squirrels do not hibernate, but often hunker down for long periods of time when its cold)
"How do you feel about cats?" (or hawks/owls/weasels/other natural predators) -- squirrel becomes dismissive or unfriendly if the caster answers with a positive opinion
"Food? Food? Must hide!!! Wait, food?"
"Hey. Hey. Wats in ur hand. Gimme ur hand. Hey. I need to know--
NO DONT TOUCH ME!
--but srsly gimme ur hand."
I assume squirrels think pretty much like rabbits.
Nevvur wrote:
Macv12 wrote:
OrwellianHaggis wrote:
I've been doing some squirrel watching pretty much every day for the last couple years, one thing is for certain, they would bring up their tail in the middle of every sentence.
Example: Player = "well hello there little squirrel, have you seen anything strange around here lately?"
Squirrel = "nope SEE MY TAIL, everything is pretty normal MY TAIL IS SO BUSHY AND WODERFULL, sept for you talking to me CHECK IT OUT I CAN MOVE IT!
Thinking everything else would have to do with eating, finding, having or getting more food, a conversation with a squirrel that actually has food would be very one sided.
"Nuts, nuts... Must stuff mouth with nuts... You have nuts?" Well, maybe not depending on the table composition...
Squeek Squeek Squeek Squeeker Squeeken Squeeker: "Did you take my Nut?"
Squeek Squeekers Squeek Squeek: "I saw you take my Nut."
Squeek Squeeken Squeek Squeeker Squeek: "Give my my Nut."
Squeek Squeek Squeeker Squeek Squeeken: "I have a loverly bunch of nutty-nuts, they they are sitting in a bunch."
Echamil wrote:
Hunyock-TX wrote:
"Did I leave the gas on? No, I'm a bloody squirrel."
Hunyock-TX wrote:
Twitchy the Squirrel from Hoodwinked:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3Lp0irIU3Q
How do you keep warm with no fur, Baldy?
WHAT did he do to his body ?! -points tail at somebody wearing metal armor-
Hawk RRUUUUUNNNN !!!
-A ground squirrel that is afraid of heights. Including when you pick it up.-
I'll tell you what I know if you talk the squirrel in that nest over there -points tail- into letting me stay the winter with her.
Redwall squirrel: What've you got to eat? I'm famished.
I can show you the way but I'm not leaving this tree until you get rid of the fox den over there.
-Squirrel will only come down if offered Planters Peanuts (or something else that does not grow around here).-
-Wants to engage in witty banter involving puns centered around his chew-twigs.-
-Plain brown squirrel is jealous of black squirrel (who can move around at night wihout being seen) and wants to be the same color.-
-Ground squirrel wants a bath so his resplendant fur coat looks even better than normal.-
-Ground squirrel tells PC how to get to "where the treasure is hidden": his nut cache for the winter, buried at the foot of an ancient oak tree.-
-Squirrel has been chewing on twig; spits splinters in PC's eyes- (after PC fails Persuasion roll)
-Squirrel has "size issues" after comparing own face to chipmunk cheeks.-
-Description of how to get from here to there is measured in "rushes" (distance) and "pauses" (time)-
Barimen wrote: