If, for instance, your bank calls and asks you about your last bank experience, and you say "The parking lot is too small. I have trouble visiting the branch, and don't go in nearly as often as I might because there's nowhere to park. The tellers are nice - they always have time for me, all of them, they're so friendly, but that Mr. Burnside, he's always too rushed.", someone like me attaches categories to that.
The bit about Mr. Burnside would probably get top priority to be tagged and sent onwards from my office. You mentioned him by name, and it's a real complaint. The bit about the other tellers might go in a big-ass category, where it might get read one day or someone might just note the number of positive comments. That bit about the parking lot, now, would likely go in a huge lump with all the comments about all the branches. You didn't name the branch.
Which means that the vast majority of your specific feedback has been lost because of the filter that is being used. Now, that's not necessarily a big deal; your other statements have already likely had a marked impact on the service down at your branch - staff gets praised, Mr. Burnside gets a pat on the shoulder and a note to take some time to be personable, all great.
But, you're still lost looking for parking.
Now, that exact same gap in the "mental filter" plagues game advice and gaming discussion. Yes, that sure is a great feat you dreamed up, and that new class you've got thought up is dandy. But, have you given equal thinking to the scheduling of the game? Did you consider the seating at your game table? The lighting? The snacks? When your players spend twenty minutes talking about the environment that they as players are sitting in, just making an aside here and there, are you listening? Or are you waiting for them to tell you what they thought of your encounter list?
Players can't enjoy great “service” until they're comfortable about the fundamentals. Make sure your players aren't lost looking for parking.
But, have you given equal thinking to the scheduling of the game? Did you consider the seating at your game table? The lighting? The snacks? When your players spend twenty minutes talking about the environment that they as players are sitting in, just making an aside here and there, are you listening? Or are you waiting for them to tell you what they thought of your encounter list?
Players can't enjoy great “service” until they're comfortable about the fundamentals. Make sure your players aren't lost looking for parking.
THANK YOU for posting this. I'm in a game right now and I'm pretty unhappy. I have tried to bring my concerns to the DM but he just doesn't choose to listen.
We have one member of our group who is a cheater. He messes with his dice so that he always rolls 20s. He casts spells that are not on his spell list, or doesn't remember them right so their duration, range or area is way larger than it is supposed to be. He sits on the other side of the room so that no one can see his rolls, and the DM has chosen to let this slide.
We have a pair of boys in our group that LOVE to argue with the DM. We have had game sessions grind to a halt while they argue with the DM (their dad) about what he has said they can and can't do. They are now being very disrespectful of everyone in the group-- I've been trying not to talk to them just to keep myself from being "dissed".
I don't know the specific game rules as well as some of the other players, and I have to ask questions. I haven't been given a list of the house rules-- even the ones my questions have inspired-- but I have been called a "rules lawyer". I'll read something in the PHB or DMG and they don't play it that way, and I have to ask about these screwy rules that they pull out of their... um... bag of holding. There have been times that my group seems to have been treated unfairly but when I ask about it is when I'm called a "rules lawyer."
My husband had one particular rules question and was the third person in the group to ask the DM about it. The first two guys got it explained to them--my husband was cursed at and got hung up upon. I'm tired of being in the "second class" of citizens here... we are leaving this group.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that if you want your game to be better, you need to be ready to hear both the positive and negative, and be ready to possibly make changes. We have tried talking to our current DM and it hasn't worked. He lets his roommate (the cheater) deal with us, or he ignores us. (I don't think that he is going to miss us when we leave-- we just need to find someone else whose style of DM'ing is different.)
You take on a perceived problem that some DMs only care about their new feat/PrC/whatever while they might want worry about basics such as creating an enjoyable environment in which to play.
How often does this problem arise? Have you looked between the DM boards and the Player boards to see if DM problems are much different than player problems? Is this really just a look at the class/feat/spell/monster boards and comparing this with the problem posts from other boards?
Either this article is addressing a specific problem - that DMs and players may have communication problems (i.e., DM is worrying about their well planned out frills and players are worrying about the gaming environment) - or this article is suggesting actually listening to player feedback (and an article on player feedback could be really good, from decoding start-up conversation at the beginning of the game to the DM asking players specifically for advice on how to improve their game (and listening to that advice)).
The build-up is colorful, but the two or three sentences that actually deal with gaming seems almost a let down after the build-up.
I am big on creating a gaming environment that is fun and comfortable for the players, but more advice on this is always welcome (from things such as provide comfortable chairs and clean the table before guests show up to discussions about ambiance and mood music at the table). Good article all the same, DMs need to listen to players for advice on creating a better game/gaming environment.
I'm not quite sure what it is your saying, here. Are you telling us that the host should make more of an effort to listen, or that we should make sure there are plenty of snacks available, or that the you have to make sure that your players understand the ins and outs of their characters? I'm sorry if I'm being slow to catch on, I'm just not getting the analogy, or rather, I got the analogy but not the point you were trying to make with the analogy
I'm kinda guessing here, but here's what I think was meant:
First, give priority to the complaints of your "customers" even when they are not ideally expressed. Just because they can’t tell you specifically what is wrong with one thing does not mean that that thing is their main complaint. Just as the bank customer in the analogy would probably be fine with the one clerk who always seems too busy if only parking were easier.
Second, do not focus your attention on one area too much. If you have changed one aspect of your game, do not ignore comments that reflect on other things while trying to judge reaction to your changes. If you are listening to hear how they liked the changes to the encounter tables, you may well be disregarding the comments that would tell you that what one player needs is a more comfortable chair. Did you notice him saying to another player as he got up that, "Sitting at the table for hours like that always makes my back hurt", or did you just file that under "small talk not relevant to my new encounter tables"?
I think there's one more thing to say here: Conduct surveys. Or, for the player it would be: Speak up, and try to be clear. Because he shouldn't have to conduct a survey to find out that you aren't having fun.
Have you spoken to the DM about your complaints? I'm not saying that he is likely to change (maybe he is, maybe he isn't). I'm saying, he'll never change if he doesn't know. Sure, eventually he may catch on due to the constant trickle of players away from his games, but he really deserves to have someone say to him, "I'm not having fun in your game, and I'm leaving, but if you'd care to hear I'll tell you why."
First, give priority to the complaints of your "customers" even when they are not ideally expressed. Just because they can’t tell you specifically what is wrong with one thing does not mean that that thing is their main complaint. Just as the bank customer in the analogy would probably be fine with the one clerk who always seems too busy if only parking were easier.
Spyone nailed it.
Chances are that if you're excited about something, and in discussion with your players, you will miss little cues that they are feeding you about other things relating to your game. If you don't follow those little cues, and ask "what do you mean?" you can miss more.
As a player, accept that your DM sometimes will be excited about their thing that doesn't matter to you - and, hey, excitement fuels the game. But remember that his excitement may well drown out your little hints and cues; it's totally normal, and getting frustrated that your hints aren't working does not mean to keep hinting and get more frustrated; if you suspect his filter is dropping your hints, take your ideas to him in another way before you get stymied enough to be angry.
Spyone nailed it.
Chances are that if you're excited about something, and in discussion with your players, you will miss little cues that they are feeding you about other things relating to your game. If you don't follow those little cues, and ask "what do you mean?" you can miss more.
As a player, accept that your DM sometimes will be excited about their thing that doesn't matter to you - and, hey, excitement fuels the game. But remember that his excitement may well drown out your little hints and cues; it's totally normal, and getting frustrated that your hints aren't working does not mean to keep hinting and get more frustrated; if you suspect his filter is dropping your hints, take your ideas to him in another way before you get stymied enough to be angry.
Thank you for this reply. Now I fully understand your article. Great article. You've really given me something to think about when I'm DMing soon.
