When I started thinking about wrapping up [our current] Campaign, I took some time to reflect on my life as a gamer. I came to a startling realization: I’ve been gaming with our current group for almost half my gaming career! Furthermore, I’ve done more gaming since we all got together in 1994 then I did from 1980 until 1994. I’ve done more growing in that time period too (and I’m not just talking about my waistline).
It’s truly amazing how much the game has evolved and how much I’ve evolved. The transformation of my gaming style was driven mostly by my growing level of maturity—which has increased slightly in the past twenty-six years—but also by my desire to create something worthwhile through my favorite pastime.
I started my gaming career like many other kids. I was looking for a thrill, something exciting to pass the time when the midwestern weather was disagreeable. I was selfish, immature, and completely unaware of the potential of the game, or how it could change my life.
The year was 1980, Ronald Reagan was elected president, super-tight Jordache jeans were in style, and The Empire Strikes Back was the biggest box-office hit of the year. I started playing Dungeons and Dragons that December during Christmas break. [My friend] Karl and I played religiously until the summer. We played at least three days a week from January through August. We played a bit less through the school year, and then played every day during the next Christmas break. The concept wasn’t all that foreign to Karl and me. Karl was a big fan of the book entitled Black Cauldron, as well as other books by Lloyd Alexander. I had already read the Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis. Indeed almost all of my earliest characters were named after my favorite characters in those books: Puddleglum, Drinian, Rillian, and Caspian.
Caspian’s group was my first success. It was a big thrill to find success after so many tragic failures (read: character deaths). I learned a lot about survival in the Dungeons and Dragons environment. Flasks of oil, tinderboxes, and torches are low-level characters’ best friends! Keep wine in at least one wineskin for run-ins with green slime; keep iron spikes handy for distracting rust monsters; and keep a small metal mirror in your pouch for battles with medusae. If you’re lost in a maze take a left then a right (and repeat as needed) until you get out. If you’re losing a battle, retreat! Every character should have at least two melee weapons and one missile weapon. Every party should have at least one priest and one thief. Avoid splitting your party up. I had evolved into a competent gamer.
After the first adventure, Keep on the Borderlands, Caspian and his party journeyed to the Isle of Dread and amassed much wealth and magic. By the end of The Isle of Dread, Caspian and his party had become quite a force to be reckoned with, and Caspian was eighth level!
Karl and I made the decision to switch from Expert Dungeons and Dragons to Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. At that point, Karl was going to force Caspian to become a fourth level fighter/magic-user because he was basically a single-classed character in the Expert rules. I was livid, and a whined-up a storm. Karl gave in, and awarded enough experience points for Caspian to become an eighth level fighter/magic-user. Then we undertook the arduous (and often confrontational) task of converting all the spells and magic of the various characters to Advanced Dungeons and Dragons rules.
In Karl’s mind it was worth the effort because my party had become too powerful for the Expert Rules.
The acquisition of magic spells and magic items eliminated the need for guile and cunning. My party could crush enemies with firepower alone! The tactics were simple. Caspian and his magic-user henchman Marlo would blast the enemy with fireballs or lightning bolts, then the fighters, Rillian and Gaudior; and the priest, Azreale, would wade into the survivors while Caspian and Marlo picked off any stragglers. My thief just tried to stay alive and get a “backstab of opportunity” now and then. The game became incredibly simple and was getting tedious.
The only thing that kept my interest in the game was acquiring more magic and more wealth. Alignment was a foreign concept to us back in those days. Caspian was a card-carrying Lawful Good. However, once I realized no one could defeat him and the DM would let me get away with anything, alignment really didn’t matter. As you can imagine, things got out of hand.
In White Plume Mountain, the characters were supposed to retrieve three magic items and return them to their rightful owners. But all I wanted was more ”toys” for my characters, so Caspian kept the Blackrazor for himself, and gave the other two items (the Wave and the Whelm) to two of his henchmen. Lawful good? Alignment? Hello? Is this thing on?
At that point my game was beginning to devolve. I had never really understood the concept of alignment, that part of my game was never developed. What devolved was my understanding of the whole theory of Dungeons and Dragons. I felt I had to accumulate more magic and spells and power and wealth to win. The other kids who played Dungeons and Dragons had higher-level characters, more wealth, more magic, and better spells. I wanted those things too. I couldn’t win unless my character got what their characters’ had.
The Blackrazor was Caspian’s ticket to power and glory. I would finally be able to catch up to all those kids at school with better characters! The Blackrazor is a weapon that bestows the levels of defeated enemies upon the possessor. (It’s also Chaotic Neutral, by the way!) By the time Caspian had taken the sword and hacked through the rest of White Plume Mountain, he reached 30th level! Later I was shocked to find out that the levels bestowed upon Caspian by the soul-sucking Black Razor were only temporary.
Those darn kids at school were ridiculing me because of the misunderstanding. They pointed out how stupid we were because we didn’t understand how Advanced Dungeons and Dragons was played. Most of the other kids our age played White Plume Mountain as soon as they could, in order to gain the Blackrazor for their characters, so they all knew how it was supposed to work.
Verily, I thought Caspian had taken the easy road to near-godhood! I was upset with Karl for the mix-up and the kids who were making fun of us. I was determined to keep Caspian’s levels. Day and night, I concocted a plan in the back of my mind. Meanwhile, Karl calculated that Caspian had gained enough “permanent” experience points to reach ninth level in each fighter and magic-user. He expected (rightfully) that I would be excited about reaching “lord-level,” but I was so preoccupied with getting those lost levels back that I didn’t take any time to appreciate the accomplishment. What a waste.
I did, however, take time to design a castle. I stocked the castle with soldiers and supplies, and plunked it down in a little place Caspian called “Archenland.” (Archendland is an ally of Narnia in the Chronicles of Narnia.) Karl even attacked the castle before it was fully completed with a tribe of orcs. That little escapade was chronicled a few years ago in the Palantir: The orcs were decimated by a series of traps and ruses, and Caspian ended up taking about fifty orc prisoners.
It was a bittersweet victory for me. Caspian completed his castle and became ruler of his own little country. But all I could think about were the lost levels. This was also the first time I began to realize that Karl wanted Caspian out of the picture. I can’t blame him. I was beginning to become so focused on “powering up” my character that I had reduced the game to stats and dice rolling. And when things didn’t go my way, I was very unpleasant to be around.
For the next adventure, Caspian was supposed to travel north to fight giants, but he detoured to act on the plan I had been concocting. After much toil and searching, Caspian and his compatriots captured several tribes of orcs. More accurately, Caspian and his henchmen slaughtered about fifty of them and took the rest captive after they failed their morale check. The orcs were disarmed, dis-armored and made to march back to Orcskull Castle in Archenland under the guard of Caspian and his henchmen.
Upon our arrival at Orcskull Castle, I asked Karl how long it would take for Caspian to learn how to cast a Wish spell. He just laughed and said, “One day, but Caspian would have to be 18th level to cast it, so he can’t even think about it right now.” Caspian ordered his henchmen to bring eighteen orcs into his study. Caspian slew the unarmed orcs in cold blood with the Blackrazor. Needless to say Karl was taken aback by these actions, but he could find no rules prohibiting them. Remember, the concept of alignment was foreign to us.
I told Karl that Caspian was going to research the spell Wish until the levels wore off. After an hour, the levels wore off and Caspian repeated the process, picking up where he left off in his research. Twenty-four hours and four hundred thirty-two defenseless orcs later, Caspian had completed his research! He successfully rolled his chance to learn spell, I wrote the spell into Caspian’s spellbook, and Caspian retired for a “well-deserved” twelve-hour nap. I was getting smug by this point. Karl was incredulous.
When Caspian awoke, he destroyed the remainder of the orcs in his dungeon, memorized Wish, and then wished for the effects of Blackrazor to be permanent! Karl had seen enough. He tried to tell me that the “permanence” would only last one day, and then I could never wish for that again. I was not happy. I argued and argued and finally convinced Karl to extend the deadline to one week.
Then Caspian and his party feverishly scoured the countryside looking for monsters to slay. The party found little of consequence, and after five days of searching, the found only a pair of perytons, and a group of goblins. Caspian made sure he killed the majority of the baddies, and had advanced to 20th level fighter/magic-user, but still I wasn’t satisfied. After all, I wouldn’t win in my mind unless I was at least 30th level in both fighter and magic user.
On the seventh day (ironically) Caspian’s ship came in as Karl rolled for wandering monsters and lo! A pair of red dragons appeared from the skies and attacked! I think Karl was numb with disbelief at this point. I was rejoicing! The combined hit dice of the dragons was twenty-two. Caspian made sure he struck the killing blow on each of the dragons much to the chagrin of the hapless Karl—who began to re-think every decision he had ever made as my dungeon master. I was so excited that I forgot to search for the dragons’ treasure trove! Caspian was 31st level! I won! Or so I thought…
Later, Caspian’s party reached the Steading of the Hill Giant Chief, thus beginning the “Against the Giants” adventure. However, it was not much of a challenge for the party since their leader was a 31st level fighter/magic-user! I was having fun, but my unfortunate DM was miserable.
Karl quit DMing me after we finished “Against the Giants.” Apparently, he didn’t want to DM the spoiled rotten player with the 31st level character. Imagine. I tried to DM for a while, but I just didn’t seem to have the knack for DMing, and Karl lost interest in D&D altogether. My “victory” cost me my first dungeon master.
A kid in our class named Sung-Jong took over as my DM for the next three adventures. He wanted to play so badly, that he let me keep Caspian’s party together. The party tore through “Descent into the Depths,” “Vault of the Drow,” and “Queen of the Demonweb Pits.” The treasure poured into Caspian’s vaults.
During those adventures, I was evolving as a player again. Sung-Jong was much sneakier than Karl was, and he didn’t mind killing off a few characters. He seemed to pick on my thieves especially. He relished the “chess game” between the DM and player, but he seemed to take the losses of “his” monsters very hard. Even though Caspian was 31st level, Sung-Jung could still frustrate me as a player. The young man had skills. On the other hand, my tactics were just terrible. But, my attitude as a player was improving slightly, and I was learning. Sung-Jong also got me interested in playing an interesting little game called “Car Wars.” Playing Car Wars made me a better Dungeons and Dragons player because I was learning to out-fox my opponents in one-on-one combat. However, while Sung-Jong taught me a lot about basic strategy, he reinforced the concept of winning the game Dungeons and Dragons.
Meanwhile I started getting cocky about my newly honed strategic abilities. I told Karl that Caspian could beat any god in a one-on-one fight. After all, Caspian had already vanquished Llolth! Karl (no doubt looking forward to a chance to finally kill Caspian) took up his DM screen once again, and Caspian fought Tiamat (Queen of Evil Dragons) and then Gruumsh (God of the Orcs). With Karl it was back to a devolved gaming style, I’d argue until I got my way, so Caspian beat both godly opponents with relative ease. He got even more treasure from those battles, and Caspian had amassed so many magic items that he could fight anything without getting his hands dirty.
Karl quit DMing (again) and Sung-Jong took over (again). Sung-Jong agreed to set up a scenario where Caspian fought Asmodeus, ruler of the Nine Hells. Sung-Jong pulled no punches. Asmodeus beat the [heck] out of Caspian! I got upset and threw such a violent fit that my mom had to come into the room and tell me to settle down (I was twelve or thirteen years old by that time). Sung-Jong "threw" the fight after that and left in a hurry, leaving me to pick the treasure from the Dungeon Master’s Guide. That was our last session. Ever.
After that, no DM would touch me (or Caspian) with a ten-foot pole (a piece of equipment my characters never carried, by the way). Geez, I missed playing. I kept telling myself, “Hey, at least I won that last adventure right?” Somehow it didn’t seem worth it.
High school started soon thereafter, and I was just too busy running cross-country and track, and playing with our home computer to get any D&D in. Besides D&D wasn’t cool in high school. Of course, I wasn’t cool in high school, so that really shouldn’t have mattered much!
In college, I found a few people who were willing to play, but mostly I was obsessed with drinking beer and chasing women. On the D&D front, I couldn’t keep anything going consistently with players coming and going. During that time I got my first taste of DMing success. I liked it!
Shortly afterwards I left college to work in radio. I tried playing D&D with my roommate Joe, but that fell through. Joe was a consummate con man and outright cheater when it came to Dungeons and Dragons. Joe thought D&D was about winning, and he thought he had to read my notes to win the game. Experiencing gameplay with a player like Joe made me regret the way I treated my dungeon masters in junior high. That stint with Joe helped me evolve even more.
In 1994, my friend Al and I were talking about D&D one night at the radio station. He invited me to play with his group. After one D&D session with Chad as the DM, and a few sessions of “Shadowrun” with Randy at the helm, I asked if anyone would like to run through an adventure I created for D&D. Everyone agreed.
Al told me of the misadventures the group had experienced with [the previous] DM. I took careful mental notes on the potential problem players, remembering that I was a problem player in the past. Before starting the [current] campaign, I looked back on all the mistakes I made as a player. I noted that the lack of implementation of rules governing alignment really stunted my development as a player, and handcuffed my DM. I noted that the confrontational stance of my DMs was probably a result of my attitudes about winning a game that cannot be won in the traditional sense. I noted how I lost at least two good friends because of my misbehavior during gaming sessions.
I tried to learn from the mistakes of my past and create a gaming experience that would be pleasant enough to sustain a campaign for an extended period of time. Looking back, I think we achieved that, but it wasn’t always easy.
In the beginning I still had a rotten temper, but we worked through that. There were also communication and cooperation issues between the players, and myself. We worked through that too. Along the way, I made sure the players understood my interpretation of their alignments, how the characters were to follow them, and what would happen if they didn’t follow their alignments. I’ve always tried to minimize the “DM vs. The Players” mentality. I’ve tried to instill an appreciation for the importance of respect between the DM and the players. I’ve tried to learn what the players want to get out of the campaign. And perhaps most importantly, I realized that D&D isn’t about winning. It’s about using your brain, playing, having fun, and being social. My understanding of the game had evolved again.
I hope the players understand that the [current] campaign is as much theirs as it is mine; they are co-authors in the single greatest saga I have ever helped create. And after twenty-six years of playing Dungeons and Dragons, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! My dream of creating something worthwhile in D&D has almost reached fruition! In three years or so, the [current] campaign will reach the final epic battle, and we’ll close the book on the single greatest campaign of my gaming career.
It’s obvious to me that I’ve been successful as a DM because I play with a group of players who are willing to listen to direction and offer their own suggestions for improving the campaign and gameplay. The evolution of our game been slow but steady, and we’ve been reaping the benefits for years. I think we should also credit the devolution I experienced in the past. Were it not for those past failures, I would’ve never been so driven to succeed with the [current] campaign. I never would have learned so much about the DM-Player dynamic. I guess sometimes it’s necessary to devolve in order to evolve.
I’ve tried to learn what the players want to get out of the campaign. And perhaps most importantly, I realized that D&D isn’t about winning. It’s about using your brain, playing, having fun, and being social.
Are those two contradictory? Winning fights is nothing to be shamed at, especially when done with brains and guts, while kibitzing with friends at the same time.
Are those two contradictory?
Certainly not.
Winning fights is nothing to be shamed at, especially when done with brains and guts, while kibitzing with friends at the same time.
You're right!
The main point of the article is that the spirit of the game should not be sacrificed for the sake of winning at any cost as we see so often on these message boards, and as I have done in the past.
Thanks for reading my piece! :D
On the story itself, it's an almost tragic tale of extremes. I've gone through a similar (though less absolute) period, where I was always a DM and TPKed every 1-8 days (then again, we were playing for an hour every day during lunch). But now I'm a happy, and I hope, competent DM.
Are those two contradictory? Winning fights is nothing to be shamed at, especially when done with brains and guts, while kibitzing with friends at the same time.
I am quite certain that the OP was referring to "winning" as not "winning a fight" (that is to say, defeating an enemy or overcoming an obstacle) but the abstract concept of winning a game in which there are no definite goals/objectives--save for whatever plot devices are in effect--and no physical opponents.
I am quite certain that the OP was referring to "winning" as not "winning a fight" (that is to say, defeating an enemy or overcoming an obstacle) but the abstract concept of winning a game in which there are no definite goals/objectives--save for whatever plot devices are in effect--and no physical opponents.
Two measures of winning in D&D are gold and experience. IOW, those are the two measures explicitly built into the system. Your game group may or may not appreciate those, and it can have entirely different signs of success. "Winning" may just be staying ahead on those counters, whatever they are in your group.
Thangol: Yes Caspian's actions were diabolical. What he did *may* be a viable course of action for an EVIL character, however, I can't imagine a competent DM allowing it. The point I was trying to make was that I was an "out of control" player who was trying to--for lack of a better word--"railroad" my DM into giving me what I wanted. It's troubling to me that anyone would want to repeat this behavior, especially since I cited how destructive it was to the DM-player dynamic. However, I must admit that I'm curious... It's been a while since you posted... Have you tried it yet? If so, how did it turn out?
FeceMan: You hit the nail right on the head! :D Board games like chess and checkers and Monopoly have a very well-defined definition that determines which player emerges from the game with a victory. While D&D has certain intrinsic goals built into it, like survival, the acquisition of wealth, and the successful completion of tasks within the campaign storyline, there is no definitive "final victory" for any one player (or the DM). The main thrust of my OP is this: Dungeons and Dragons cannot and should not be thought of as a competition between the DM and the players! Thank you, FeceMan, for understanding this and clarifying my position!
Gilean:
Take a look at what I've written to Feceman and consider this: My group gets very excited about gaining wealth, power, and fame for their characters! They just LOVE finding new magic items to unleash on their enemies! These are the goals they are striving for and the promise of more has kept them coming back to the same campaign since circa 1993! The aspect of "winning" that I'm warning gamers of, is the idea that the players are in direct competition with their DM.
Sure, the players have to out-think me tactically during combat, and they have to defeat my insidious traps and solve my riddles. But once someone (DM or player) gets the idea that we must get what *we* want out of the campaign at any cost in order to "win," we have reduced D&D to a medeival version of Monopoly.
I use Monopoly as an example because the idea of the game is to bankrupt all the other players. Now, I may be *way* off here, but I consider the process of going "bankrupt" in Monopoly a miserable experience. When I was 13, this is how we played D&D. Either the DM or the player was in essence "going bankrupt" and miserable for it. It was almost as if the goal of the game was to make either the players or the DM suffer.
I am fairly certain that making someone suffer is *not* the goal of D&D, and one way to avoid that situation is to avoid thinking of the game as a competition between the players and the DM. That's all I was trying to say. Thanks to all for reading my story! :D
Rimlar
I was reading this and thinking "what a clown" and then got to the part where you said you were 13 or 14. You are being too hard on yourself for being immature when you were immature!
Indeed! I think I was about that age when my character Strider (as with Caspian named after a favorite fantasy character) started slaughtering gods straight out of Deities and Demigods. Sometimes I get embarrassed by how my friends and I played back in those days, but you know what? We were kids! Luckily for us we all had fun since we were all "trouble players."
Great article, though. The lesson is a good one.
I said, "Are there any limitations on this? Anything we desire?"
The DM looked a little suspicious, "Yes. Any ONE thing."
I said, "I want to be a god."
The King of the Gods was a little surprised by that, but he relented and made me a god.
I then demanded that I play the character and generally caused havoc on his world, eventually leading to its destruction.
I'm not sure who to blame, the DM for letting me do it, or myself for demanding something so patently ridiculous.
I must admit that I am more than a little envious. I have moved around a lot over the years and have longed to have a consistent group of people to play with on a weekly basis. Hopefully, if things stay put I may get that chance but its looking rather sketchy. I have been able to move to an area where some old friends live. I was excited about being able to play with these folks once again after a dozen years. As Karma/fate/bad luck would have it they flaked out on me
. Oh well, time to start from scratch...again.How about a recap of the epic battle? :D
I was reading this and thinking "what a clown" and then got to the part where you said you were 13 or 14. You are being too hard on yourself for being immature when you were immature!
It is in my nature to be too hard on myself. I think that's what pushes me to become a better DM.
It also leads to mind-numbing self-evaluations that make my players doubt the sanity of their DM while (at times) leading to more streamlined gameplay and more equitable table rules...
Interesting. I'd like to read more about the part after all that, if you don't mind. More about how you worked out the last few kinks to become an "evolved" GM. Also, more about how the dynamics of your current group helped or hindered that.
The original article included more details in this area of the story, but I eventually cut it for space considerations. My newsletter is supplied gratis to members, and money is always tight these days...
ANYhoo, I would be more than happy to get back on the ol' laptop and come up with a more detailed account of my evolution as a GM. As a matter of fact, I am currently re-writing our XP bonus system--affectionately known as the "Brownie Point System"--and this would tie in nicely.
Please be patient though, as my personal life is just beginning to return to a semblance of normalcy... ;)
I'm not sure who to blame, the DM for letting me do it, or myself for demanding something so patently ridiculous.
Excellent point! I would have to say it's a little bit of both...
Which is the point of my article...
At least I think that's what my point was...
Did my article even have a point?
Helloo?
Anyone?
I must admit that I am more than a little envious. I have moved around a lot over the years and have longed to have a consistent group of people to play with on a weekly basis. Hopefully, if things stay put I may get that chance but its looking rather sketchy. I have been able to move to an area where some old friends live. I was excited about being able to play with these folks once again after a dozen years. As Karma/fate/bad luck would have it they flaked out on me . Oh well, time to start from scratch...again.
How about a recap of the epic battle?
RE: keeping a group together: Hang in there! One of our "tricks" of keeping the current group together is that we only meet once a month! It's kinda hard to get sick of each other when you're only meeting once every thirty days or so! ;) Another one of our secrets is that we are the greatest of friends. The "flakers" have all dropped out of the group and we are left with a core group of best friends who all happen to enjoy one of the greatest games ever invented!
As far as a recap of that epic battle, I can only assume you are referring to Caspian versus Asmodeus? I'm planning to write a series of Caspian Stories "based" on real events that transpired during D&D sessions. I will be more than happy to post those stories here once they have been written, but I must warn you. Those session were played soooooo long ago, that any semblance to the ACTUAL events will be merely coincidental! ;)
Sounds to me like the biggest problem in the early days was that Karl was your toadie and totally unable to stand up to you. If a DM gives in on his rulings just because players scream about them, then obviously (young and immature) players are going to scream about every ruling until he lets them win. Karl would have done you both a favour by refusing to DM right off the bat unless his word was the final word.
Amen, brother!
I could have chosen NOT to make such outlandish demands, though... For the sake of the game. But, as Rimlar said, I was very young and immature when this all happened.
...
Again, thanks to all for your comments! I will try to write more material and post it here in the near future! :D