One could always dump any skill points that might accidentally be useful into Profession. We could take a single rank in a bunch of obscure ones, to keep from accidentally acquiring any marketable abilities. Keeping a low Wisdom would let us raise our Intelligence then, without actually having any use for that ability score.
Other feats could be Skill Focus in things that were trained only, which we'd have no ranks in.
Finally, you'd need to deal only nonlethal damage, so you couldn't harm those few things that there's an outside chance of you doing some tiny amount of damage against.
20 levels with a BAB of +0 and lots of 1st level spells/powers.
Feats
L1: Skill Focus (Knowledge [architecture and engineering]) (you always liked big buildings)
L3: Blind-Fight (not that you can hit them anyway)
L6: Animal Affinity (it will help when the party throws you to the dogs)
L9: Skill Focus (Disguise) (so you can look like somebody that knows what to do)
L12: Combat Casting (so you don't lose those 1st level spells when you cast defensively)
L15: Toughness (getting picked on builds strength)
L18: Run (you probably do this alot)
How about Sorcerer 1/Wizard 1/Rogue 1/Druid 1/Cleric 1/Bard 1/Beguiler 1/Dragon Shaman 1/Scout 1/Spellthief 1/Warmage 1/Wu Jen 1/Favored Soul 1/Shugenja 1/Spirit Shaman 1/Ardent 1/Divine Mind 1/Lurk 1/Psion 1/Soulknife 1.
20 levels with a BAB of +0 and lots of 1st level spells/powers.
Feats
L1: Skill Focus (Knowledge [architecture and engineering]) (you always liked big buildings)
L3: Blind-Fight (not that you can hit them anyway)
L6: Animal Affinity (it will help when the party throws you to the dogs)
L9: Skill Focus (Disguise) (so you can look like somebody that knows what to do)
L12: Combat Casting (so you don't lose those 1st level spells when you cast defensively)
L15: Toughness (getting picked on builds strength)
L18: Run (you probably do this alot)
this made me laugh out loud! nice work. you could be a politician, theyre pertty much useless :P
Hmm.. Wilder 5/Survior 5/Sangehirn 5.
Not totally useless, but should manage to survive when others fall.
If your DM allows DR/- stacking, would get fast heal 3, DR 10/-, improved evasion and uncanny dodge.
For a non-psi version, Monk 5/Survivor 5/Death Delver 10 nets all of 4th level divine spells, maybe 1d8 fist damage, very little in the way of any sort of goodies, and nine lives - that is, nine times in your career, when you would die, you wont.
Now, as a less of a build and more of a suggestion - since you're the red-headed stepchild of the party, pick whatever oddball classes you feel like trying out, and whichever ones you coincidently qualify for.
Say, Marshal 3/Monk 2/Swashbuckler 3/Thief-Acrobat 4/Suel Arcanamach 1/Uncanny Trickster 3/.... something like that, for an example. You could at the very least, try to gain a new class feature every level.
I believe there was a list of easy-access PrC's floating around here somewhere, wayback. See if you can dig that up.
One option would be to try to taste every class in a single splat book.
I wonder if a Crusader/Swordsage/Warblade/Bloodclaw Master/Bloodstorm Blade/Deepstone Sentinel/Eternal Blade/Jade Phoenix Mage/Ruby Knight Vindicator/Shadow Sun Ninja/Master of Nine is possible. Or necessarily bad.
That's 11 1-level dips, btw.
You need: 2 arcane casting levels (Suel 2 nets that at combat casting+iron will cost)
You need to count as a dwarf == be a dwarf, or Stoneblessed 3
You need to count as an Elf == be one.
You need the ability to turn or rebuke undead. Replace Suel with dread necro 4 or... a cleric dip can net us two of the required feats. Yeah.
Following feats:
Multiattack OR TWF -
Point Blank Shot -
Power Attack or Stone Power -
Weapon Focus
Adaptive Style -
Dodge
Blind-fight
Improved Init -
Improved Unarmed Strike -
Good-Aligned Elf
Levels:
Crusader 1/ : TWF bab 1
Warblade 1/ bab 2
Unarmed Swordsage 1 nets Improved Unarmed Strike. Combat Casting
Cleric 1: Domains Elf and whatever-gives-improved-init
Stoneblessed 3 Iron Will bab 4
Ruby Knight Vindicator 1 bab 5
Bloodstorm Blade 1 bab 6 Power Attack
Bloodclaw Master 1
Suel Arcanamach 2 bab 7 Adaptive Style
Jade Phoenix 1 bab 8
Shadow Sun Ninja 1 ---now we need BAB 10, and three classes to go.
Fighter 1: weapon focus, dodge, ---no way 'round it, need the feats.
Deepstone Sentinel 1
Eternal Blade 1 -
X 1 - blind-fight - free class, you have plenty to choose from
Master of Nine 1 - whoo capstone
X 1 - another free level.
This is beautiful. I may cry. But, MAN, speak about potential. In fifty levels or so, this will actually get pretty powerful. BAB sorta sucks, though.
useless Auras
cant use Items
:D
Somewhat close to the psionic sandwich.
Then enter the prestige class Death Delver and take ten levels of it.
Get the feat stone power.
Every round of combat you have ten temporary hit points. You get die hard as a bonus feat. Fearless Destiny saves your life once a day, tempting fate can also save your life once a day. Death Delver saves your life irregardless of how you would have died nine times.
Play a knight or something that sucks but you get d12 hit points. Max out your con have a **** ton of hit points, max out your armor, max out your temporary hit points, grab these feats, grab that prestige class.
Now onto sucking:
Fight defensively all the time use a weapon you are not proficient play an npc class.
1/2 Orc Marshal xxx/ Artificer xxx/ Survivor 5 with a VOP and Cha of 6
useless Auras
cant use Items
:D
Carn, I thought the OP was looking for The Load, in whcih case spending all the party's GP is, in fact a bonus - a requirement, even.
This thread is useless.
Someone has low optimization skills - Its the strange ones, not the usual ones that test a person's optimization skills.
But yeah, vows and dips for AC means you need high SR (much harder), assuming your DM doesn't wise up and start throwing no SR spells at you... Grabbing high DR and Hp is a good idea too, before getting good saves if you can't manage a high enough SR.
How do you make sure the party can't get rid of you after they figure out how useless you are? What if they just teleport away and leave your bootay? :P
EDIT: nevermind, found it.
and you forgot the ring of nine lives.
max out your charisma. take 1 cleric level. take divine metamagic. heighten any 1st level cleric spell to max. use the reserve feat 'minor shapechange' each turn as a swift action to gain even more temporary hit points.
just be a druid and wear full plate and carry a great sword. Then be like I dont know why my powers arnt working.
I like this one.
Unbodied Barbarian who continually rages because he's ticked off that he is illiterate and has no body.
Commoner/Survivor/Horizon Walker. That guy who always show up in games and bother the crap out of you, before he leaves. Elminster could have this build.
It's just like commoner.
Focused specialist, just because.Maybe something with Apostle of Peace/Frenzied Berserker?
Actually, wouldn't that let you convert all your damage into non-lethal damage? And potentially if laid out correctly still get 9th level spells? Potentially making you incredibly useless AND incredibly useful?!
focust specialist diviner :p
Nah, I love my Diviners. Abjuration is better, since a good defence won't do piddle anyway
doesn't matter with int < 10 :p
principles... principles :embarrass
Or, just for it to be mentioned in this thread alltogether, play the following:
An Elven Lightning Warrior wielding a Uranium Greatsword.
Hopefully your character will be pretty useless after your DM har burned the Character Sheet.
Anything Henchman?
.
An Elven Lightning Warrior wielding a Uranium Greatsword.
My favorite character. I think I'm going to sig this...
Too bad being glad won't cure the dent I got in my head from laughing so hard when I wrote it that I fell off my chair and hit my head on the table edge
.