Dragon Magazine, two years ago(issue 330) posted a list of April Fool's Day flaws for Commoners. Here's the one I'm referring to:
Chicken Infested
You've got chickens
Effect: Whenever you draw a weapon, or pull an item out of a container, you have a 50% chance of drawing a live chicken instead. No, we don't know where the chickens come from, its your character.
This is my proposed build, the one that finally brings Commoner out of its shell as a PC class:
Bukbuk
Human Commoner 1(I'm serious)
Str 10 Dex 10 Con 10 Int 18 Wis 10 Cha 10
Flaw: Chicken Infested
Feats: Skill Focus(Butcher), Skill Focus(Cooking), Run
Skills(4 ranks each):
Handle Animal +4
Jump +4
Listen +4
Profession(Butcher) +7
Profession(Cook) +7
Spot +4
Use Rope +4
You only get 1 Proficiency as a Commoner, Dagger's good enough here. There are, in essence, 14400 rounds in a day. You can spend a whole day without sleep drawing chickens and stabbing them(Move to draw, Standard to stab), and you'll get roughly 7200 Chickens(50%), then spend another day making Profession checks to chop em up.
Assuming you can only manage 1 chunk of meat per chicken(bullcrap, I say), that's 10800 Silver pieces for two days' worth of work at 1st level. You can probably get more if you take the time to cook em.
And best of all, there's no limitation to the number of chickens you may draw, so you've got, in essence, a limitless supply of food and money, all thanks to you playing a Commoner and taking a flaw for it.
*thumbs up*
I can't wait to try it out in my DM's game!
*thumbs up*
Make sure to try to get a copy of Dragon 330 so you can prove it. :D
The "Ever Expanding Rule Set" strikes again.
Critique : The profession checks are WIS based, so stick an 18 there. The chickens have to be kept somewhere overnight, so you spend some money on fencing - prolly just one days worth. You will need sleep
.So, converting one days' gp into supplies, silver into gold, and sleep ...
equals about 720 gp a day.
Mercantile feat gives you 300 gp extra to start, and lets something be bought at a 25% discount.
Candle of Invocation costs 8400 gp, or 6300 gp with mecantile.
Affordable on day 9.
"Mr. Djinni-Noble , I wish for the Easter Bunny."
"Done."
that made my dayand yes profession is wis based, so put your 18 there
"Mr. Djinni-Noble , I wish for the Easter Bunny."
"Done."
This thread has me walking around in my office making chicken sounds. I'm afraid my co-workers are going to hear me, and have me committed or something.
My only problem with this is that thats 7200 attack rolls where you can roll a natural 1 and stab your self in the hand. That really sucks when you consider a lvl1 commoner had 4 HP + con. I know my DM would kill me like that if I tried anything this silly.
Critical fumble house rules are even sillier than this thread. A 20th level monk with all the two weapon fighting feats duel-wielding kamas would be likely to accidently stab himself every other round using that rule.
Critical fumble house rules are even sillier than this thread. A 20th level monk with all the two weapon fighting feats duel-wielding kamas would be likely to accidently stab himself every other round using that rule.
And I've seen that happen. It ain't pretty.
Critique : The profession checks are WIS based, so stick an 18 there.
I actually have two reasons for not putting an 18 there: Skill Points, and to show how this build still works with only one above-average stat. Yeah, I'd definitely like to have an 18 there. After I buy some Healing potions, or a Ring of Regeneration, perhaps a Tome/Amulet(Tomulet?) of Wisdom would be the first order of the day?
The chickens have to be kept somewhere overnight, so you spend some money on fencing - prolly just one days worth. You will need sleep
That's true, but there's the simple oversight in the core rules of sleep: Going without it provides no penalty. Unless there's been an addition to the rules since then, where going without does provide a penalty, which is entirely likely that I would've missed that.
My only problem with this is that thats 7200 attack rolls where you can roll a natural 1 and stab your self in the hand.
Excellent point, I hadn't taken that into account(I have no idea how). Maybe it'd be easier, once you've made your first few GP to hire another Commoner, or two, to make the attack rolls for you?
That's true, but there's the simple oversight in the core rules of sleep: Going without it provides no penalty. Unless there's been an addition to the rules since then, where going without does provide a penalty, which is entirely likely that I would've missed that.
It makes you Exhausted. I don't remember where it says that. Under Exhausted, it says that a single hour of rest will move you up to Fatigued, though.
Not only do you get lots of money quickly, but you can go up in lvl rediculusly fast.
Dont forget you also get xp for killing the chickens, I'd say Cr of 1/8 to 1/4.
Not only do you get lots of money quickly, but you can go up in lvl rediculusly fast.
I looked around, and it seems like the closest to a Chicken is the Raven, in terms of size, HP, etc. Though I'd say the fly speed should be reduced to 10(clumsy).
Under Exhausted, it says that a single hour of rest will move you up to Fatigued, though.
I'm thinking a "Sleep Number" magic carpet might work, too. Bukbuk can afford it.
Yeah, on further review, just getting ahead on the gold is all you need to do.
The DMG has rules on Hamlets and Thorps, and other community sizes.
[thread=755485]THIS[/thread] thread has what magic items an Adept should have available in any town.
Commoner 1 plus all that stuff is still pretty tough.
Diplomacy is where its at, and custom items of Diplomacy.
2 ranks plus CHA 12 plus Skill Focus equals +6 skill check.
As for gaining exp. from CDG-ing domesticated chickens (watch out for that hand) ,
at 1/10 CR , you might not get any exp from even an inexperienced DM.
So the adventure would be Thorp to Hamlet to next size up, etc.
Buying stuff along the way, like yelling : "Plate Mail on a mo-fo-Commoner ?!"
Someone should e-mail this to Oppo28.
Resetting spike trap, hire a commoner with chicken infested.
1. pull chicken
2. spike trap
3. PROFIT!
Granted, you'll make less money, because you kill fewer a day, but there has to be some kind of experience to be earned in chasing down a chicken.
and if you need another feat (say endurance, to catch more chickens), there is that one other flaw available. unfetanatly yuh doun spik real wif it.
What, no quickdraw?
He has a point >_>
So take quickdraw and chicken infested..
14400 rounds a day.. drawing twice per round.. for 28800 draws... %50 of that is of course.. 14400 chickens.
Also.. could not a warforged commoner do this 24 hours without sleep?
So take quickdraw and chicken infested..
14400 rounds a day.. drawing twice per round.. for 28800 draws... %50 of that is of course.. 14400 chickens.
Now we know what happened on the Day of Mourning.
Now we know what happened on the Day of Mourning.
I need to show this to my DM now, in case we ever go to the Mournlands. :D
Also.. could not a warforged commoner do this 24 hours without sleep?
So take quickdraw and chicken infested..
Flaw: No Need For Book Learnin'.
But you can't take Quickdraw until level 3, sadly. +1 BAB required.
14400 rounds a day.. drawing twice per round.. for 28800 draws... %50 of that is of course.. 14400 chickens.
That's Gross a Hundred Times over.
This is a good start, but we can improve it with a few more levels.
First of all, is there a limit to the number of times you can quick draw in a round?
Load me up with, say, 100 daggers. I quick draw and drop each of them in a round. That's 50 chickens. I need a +1 bab to do that, though, so I have to be level 3, to get the feat. My other first level flaw feat is Precocoius apprentice (Scorching Ray). I drop skill focus (Butcher), and pick up Fiery Burst.
So, spend a year doing the slaughter, get to level 3.
Now I can fiery burst every round. I am, of course, a warforged, because I don't need to sleep that way. Reserve feats don't seem to suffer from ASF.
So, 50 chickens. Then fiery burst. A reasonable DM will allow you to combine the spell with your cooking focus, and end up with blackened chickens.
Heck, your sorceror could just pick a follower that can do this.... You'd need a leadership score of 15. If you have +2 misc (great reknown, fairness, generosity) you'd need a +4 cha and be level 9.
If you can increase your CHA bonus to +6, you'd need to be level 7. You also get 20 1st level followers (salesmen) and 2 2nd level (managers).
I vaguely remember reading about a pair of gloves that generate shuriken? If he has an infinite amount of weapons to draw every turn... can he not generate an infinite amount of chickens in said turn?
Barring that.. I know there is a quiver that generate unlimited arrows. What is an arrow if not a tiny spear? Draw an arrow as a weapon.
If we are just working off of the flaw, I see no reason why a warforged fighter 1, couldn't do this.
"Don't ruin your product's market"
Of course, your character could walk into town and start ignoring this rule, pulling out chickens left and right, but then, every other citizen with the flaw would have to start doing the same, and soon, nobody needs any chickens.
Let me explain your predicament:
1. You are a commoner.
2. You have little money due to exponential inflation of the chicken market.
3. Without money, you can't hire actual PCs to guard you.
4. You just angered the town's chicken sellers, who quite likely want you dead (which brings us back to points 1 and 3).
First, let me say that I discovered the means of this build on 4chan
Rules 1 and 2. gb2gaia
So.. at level 3 he gets quickdraw..
I vaguely remember reading about a pair of gloves that generate shuriken? If he has an infinite amount of weapons to draw every turn... can he not generate an infinite amount of chickens in said turn?
Barring that.. I know there is a quiver that generate unlimited arrows. What is an arrow if not a tiny spear? Draw an arrow as a weapon.
It's anytime you try to draw a weapon or pull something out of a container. So trying to reach into a jar to get some food will result in a 50% chance of pulling out a chicken, this goes for any container or any other time you try to reach into something to get something, you may pull a chicken out instead. This could result in potentially embarrassing moments at times.
MIC, I believe they were daggers... gloves of throwing maybe? Infinite chickens in a round would be sick... you might be able to strike a deal with a necromancer who needs an undead army to control, but want to keep it on the dl.
If we are just working off of the flaw, I see no reason why a warforged fighter 1, couldn't do this.
I think you have to be a commoner to take this flaw. You could multiclass later tho.
It's anytime you try to draw a weapon or pull something out of a container. So trying to reach into a jar to get some food will result in a 50% chance of pulling out a chicken, this goes for any container or any other time you try to reach into something to get something, you may pull a chicken out instead. This could result in potentially embarrassing moments at times.
It's anytime you try to draw a weapon or pull something out of a container. So trying to reach into a jar to get some food will result in a 50% chance of pulling out a chicken, this goes for any container or any other time you try to reach into something to get something, you may pull a chicken out instead. This could result in potentially embarrassing moments at times.
... *thinks*
So I see there were queries as to the experience value of choking the chickens?
Eat flaming poultry, 4Chan! :D
:evillaugh I can just imagine this guy
standing at a sidewalk, asking people, Would you like a chicken with that?And for those who remember, wasent Gonzo from the muppet show a fan of chickens?
And correct me as well if I'm wrong, but if you fit the improved unarmed strike feat in there somewhere, couldn't you use your fists to make the attack roll? You would never kill yourself, because you can choose to do non-lethal damage. All you would do is stop pulling out chickens for awhile because you've knocked yourself silly.
Well Warforged comes up again there, being immune to subdual damage
Ever.
Anywhere.
Chicken Infested
You've got chickens
Effect: Whenever you draw a weapon, or pull an item out of a container, you have a 50% chance of drawing a live chicken instead. No, we don't know where the chickens come from, its your character.
Emphasis mine. This would suggest that you get a chicken in replacement of the wanted weapon/item/whatevermajig. So you have to be drawing something specific which can, through the magic of your ineptitude, become a chicken, RAW.
Its not a major concern - unless you're only allowing items which are in the books as individual items (seeing as we're keeping RAW here), and so cannot saw up a log into ten thousand little splinters and keep them in a pouch from which to draw them.
Other than that, hilarity must surely ensue.
Oh and another problem - if you buy anything nice with this build, never put it in a sheath. Or a pouch, bag, pocket, or anything from which it must be 'drawn'. You don't want that +5 Vorpal Longsword being far more feathery and far less Vorpal than you remember...
if you're selling 14k+ chickens a day you're going to need to devote some time to doing that, too, not like you can just walk into an inn and sell them 14 thousand dead chickens.Or you could pay someone to wholesale them for you but thats probably going to cut into your profit margin a bit. Meanwhile you need to freeze the chickens after processing while they are awaiting sale, that also isn't cheap in a fantasy environment.
To put it another way, if it was this easy to work the chicken business, you would walk into Burger King and order your 99 cent spicy chicken sandwich with fries and a coke, and Jose in the back would just use his quick draw feat to pull out a switchblade and stab a chicken, then spend another standard action to pluck, clean, and skin it, then use his move action to throw that bad boy on the grill. But unfortunately it aint that easy, farmin and sellin chickens is hard work to optimize, its not like a CoDzilla or something.
first of all, I don't know if you've ever seen a chicken processed on a farm from a live bird to meat. Killing the bird is the easy part, doing the work to pluck aned clean it in a relatively sanitary fashion takes rather more time, so even if you could kill the chickens very quickly you wouldn't be able to get them ready for sale nearly as quickly. It would actually take so long to process 14,000 chickens into meat that even if you were a warforged and didn't need to sleep, by the time you get even halfway through by hand, the other dead chickens would already have started going rancid and you wouldn't have much luck selling their meat.
if you're selling 14k+ chickens a day you're going to need to devote some time to doing that, too, not like you can just walk into an inn and sell them 14 thousand dead chickens.Or you could pay someone to wholesale them for you but thats probably going to cut into your profit margin a bit. Meanwhile you need to freeze the chickens after processing while they are awaiting sale, that also isn't cheap in a fantasy environment.
To put it another way, if it was this easy to work the chicken business, you would walk into Burger King and order your 99 cent spicy chicken sandwich with fries and a coke, and Jose in the back would just use his quick draw feat to pull out a switchblade and stab a chicken, then spend another standard action to pluck, clean, and skin it, then use his move action to throw that bad boy on the grill. But unfortunately it aint that easy, farmin and sellin chickens is hard work to optimize, its not like a CoDzilla or something.
Boo logic! We don't need you getting in the way of our fun;)
first of all, I don't know if you've ever seen a chicken processed on a farm from a live bird to meat ...
Yes, I have ... thanks to the Sarah Palin video
from a few weeks ago.
what's the diff ?
Ah I knew I saw this somewhere: Your cluck-fu is weak
Bah, it's been White Screen of Deathed. Does anyone remember the original build?
Here's the correct link to the archived thread.
http://forums.gleemax.com/wotc_archive/index.php/t-844086.html