I.E. One must never harm others or them selfs in the face of anger. MY CREED! this is the code I live by and the law of my masters! But it does not apply to scum like you that have no honor.
2. If you are a Mage yell out the name of the spell you are using.
Or if you really want to get him/her mad come up with a little casting that you "Must" say each time.
I.E. Dance forces of magic! MAGIC MISSSSSSSSSSSSSILE!
3. Talk in 3erd person all the time (Any one will want to kill you after a hour of this!)
4. Start to play craps with the guy next to you when your DM is in the middle telling where you are.
5. Any time some one casts Magic Missile say "On the darkness!"
7. No matter what NPC's you encounter, after they introduce themselves say "Wazzup"
8. When you encounter the enemy and he threatens you, reply with "What you say!"
(My players did this. It was really annoying.)
10.) punch him in the face until he kills your character
11.) fart really really bad while playing
13: Keep saying you think the phone just rang (I hate it when people do that to me!)
14: Keep asking when you can get a +9 sword when you area level one char.
16) If you get turned into an animal, intentionally forget that you have opposable digits.
18) Your starting a new campaign at level 1:
PC: Can I play a Tarrasque?
19) Say "Can I have a mountain dew?" during a really tense moment.
20) Quote the rules, but quote them wrong.
PC: I'm grappling the dragon...I automatically succeed because I'm a dwarf and dwarves always suceed in grapples.
22.) and try to cast Mortant comines Fatful watch dog
24. Talk in riddles.
25. Talk in circles.
26. Talk like yoda.
27. Use all of the above at the same time.
29) Start gagging and have a friend start patting you on the back. Have your friend scream out in a panicky voice, "I think he swallowed a d4!" (This goes well with #28)
30) Wait for a dramatic moment in the game and then spill your drink.
31) Leave potato chip crumbs in your DM's Dungeon Master Guide.
32) Blow lots of bubbles (from your saliva or with soap).
33) Complain about the heat and start stripping down.
34) Don't wear deoderant before the game, repeat step #28, and stretch a lot.
35) Assassinate the party paladin (2 birds with 1 stone!).
38. Burn down the orphanage(That always is fun!)
39. Have your copy of the Books on hand at all times and metagame the snot out of it.
40. Start Talking in Cajun
42: Make random rolls all the time and when ever you get a 20 demand that you go up a level.
43: When ever your party starts to lose a fight start to play with a knive.
44: Kick the DMs cat (J/K I love cats)
45: Ask your DnD hating mom to come and sit in on a game.
48) Say your character gets a +10 bonus on balance, jump and tumble checks because he/she is a skater.
49) Play an Ogre character and then say "my mount is going to be a pony".
51) Eat lots of baked beans before the game.
52) Advertise in game. "Feeling drowsy? Want to be healthy? Go down to Himo's Healthy Potion Mart today, it half-off on remove disease!
LOL
:invasion:Nice one!
57) Play a topless, lesbian, amazon.
58) Demand to play a character that uses a sword roughly 3 times larger than him or herself.
59) Play a gnome that refuses a nickname. Zigfert Xavair Meris Bob Jimbo Carris Megon Junior.
60) "I lick the ____"
61) Play the most politically correct character possible.
62) A chainmail bikini... on the illithid.
63) Play an assassin from the guild "Capt. Pork's world of slaughter"
65) Say that the goblins the DM throws at you should roll a will save to see whether or not they flee from your naked Barbarian PC.
Lay down some heavy hand of god smiting to the offenders
(damage 356d6 recoil 204d6, somethin like that)
69) Spam the game. Its easy, just say "Spam" whenever you have a spare moment.
73. whenever the DM leaves swich everything around
74. Whenever you meet someone new tell them that you are mayor of Funkey Town
75. Use pick pocket on EVERYTHING
76. Make you're Char. do random things while someone is talking
Example:
PC1: I go to check-
PC2: I jump up and dance on the table!
I already do number 3. You're right, everyone does want to kill me! Or at least severly injur me.
78. Fart and blame it on the dog.
79. Play a sterotype unfailingly to the limit.
81. Insist that your character has researched Bigby's Groping Hand. Use it in every encounter, both combat AND social.
82. Do your best Shaft impersonation whenever the GM introduces a female NPC.
Edit: Actually, use #82 regardless of the gender of the NPC. That'll make it a *lot* more amusing.
83: Ask if you can play an Epic Trout.
84: Play a Sorcerer that fears magic.
85: Play a 50 year old male Wizard traped in the body of a 12 year old girl (I really have this char!)
Originally posted by channel_dunlap
86: Play a wizard
...I don't get it...
Play as a Wizard
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... *hold on laughture* i agree lol
88: Play a party consisting exclusivly of clerics.
91. Just play a paldin.
Kire
94.Do #93 until your DM has a fit and yells at you.(personal experience
)if that's not messing with the DM, i don't know what is.
97. Play half orc fighter and table dance in the tavern
98. name ur pc "nipples"
99. get up everytime its your turn during combat to play with the dog.
101: declare every feat, weapon, prestige class gathered up from the net as balanced and playable..whatever the source
The above resulted in an outright ban of all d20 sourcebooks other than WOTC material and even then by approval only
Originally posted by Lord Tarran
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! HAPPY 101 WAYS TO SCREW WITH YOUR DM! WE'VE REACHED OUR GOAL!
And beyond!...
102) Say you want to play an insectile nymph, wrap your around that one!...
103) Bring a rock with you when exploring a dungeon, throw it at the ground in front of you to set off any traps that might just be there, pick up the rock, move forward, throw the rock again, pick it up again, move forward, throw it again, pick it up, move forward, throw it again, pick it up, move forward, throw it again....
Originally posted by Overkill_001
You know what? Let's just see how far this thread goes...
103) Bring a rock with you when exploring a dungeon, throw it at the ground in front of you to set off any traps that might just be there, pick up the rock, move forward, throw the rock again, pick it up again, move forward, throw it again, pick it up, move forward, throw it again, pick it up, move forward, throw it again....
105: kill all the D.M.'s bad guys.
106: survive.
108: Tell you're DM that you're favored weapon is a cat (or any othe animal)
109: Toss pebbels at important plot chars.
110: play dog pile with you're DM without telling him what you're doing.
81 - Demand to play a Half-Orc bard/wizard, female.
82 - Demand to play a hamster.
83 - Demand to play a combination of the above.
84 - Refuse to read anything about the world, write a background, and continually do immature things.
make a thread for 101 ways to annoy a DM then show it to him amd say "i'm gonna do eveything on this list. ( >:} do ve done next time i play D&D)114) have your DM roll to see if you contracted a disease or parasite from sleeping with someone you "met" at the inn.
115) own a rod of wonder
116) insist that you practice with the rod of wonder by buying "target goats" at the town you are staying at, or seeing if any of the local children want to make a piece of copper.
117) teleport to a nearby temple, leaving your companions in the care of a wizard trying to sell them a scroll of teleport. Since two seperate events are going on, if you companions event happens first see if they buy the teleport scroll and teleport to the temple to find you. During your event, talk with some clerics, get the info the group needs, and than right when the group teleports to the temple, teleport yourself back to the wizard. Whoops... did i miss you guys?
118) Use Wall of Fire while battling in a densly forested area.
119) complete 114, and if it is a parasite, use enlarge animal on it, and try to train it as your new animal companion.
120) use a rod of wonder on a goat, infront of a druid... ("how the heck was i to know that it would cast fireball?")
121) ask if your character can take the NPC that you are trying to persuade into a backroom to see if you can "improve" his dispossition towards your party.
122) Great the king, or reigning authority as such: "I am a great and powerful wizard! Fear my awesome wrath! I can call the stars down from the very heavens, and SMITE all of you with hell fire! OoooooooooOOooooooo!"- (says the level 5 bard)
Example:
Gadillishontevadasuragearheadmoshasmorandomisacalculatorsotherehagidolifourharakazdulidmethrisadasanduladmeicandoanythingyoucandobetterallastyxiriachadoulafecedimmisharacountadrossatharusachimneyimpisthebombhelpitsgotmylegsowhatwerewedoingohyesthenamearracochadetradostakodrentiviloochadaruramegnimishadoneriasemonitazacharactadefectathelevelondbatdofdoomthatnowinsistsonusinghisfullgnomisnamesohelpyouallgodsharrpaalakgeliduditremeusalachafidonomkerdilliochtheillithidiseatingmybrainmakeitstoppharraluhaunagastordanaturemeccanmexicanbobnowtocontinuethenameinlegaleesethehereaftersignedhenceforthknownasthedefendantshallnowgotothirkenesandfsdweiuoasfoefoiufofhoitgioghkufirolfhuefnvuoiliodadecvadcioghudvmaqwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnmnowiknowmyabcsnextimewontousingwithmeyouopenthedoorinthedoorisaroomintheroomisagnomethegnomeisfrmenmountnevermindandhashairthecolordesignatedlightbrownwhichappearstobeamixtureofyellowredbluepinkandblackasithasthepropertiesofseveraldiffrentcolorsallfoundinthepigmentationoftreebarkuhohitcomesagainwhywon'tyougiveuphowmanyexperiencepointsdoigetthatsnotenoughwhendoichangelevelrepeatuntilfolggedbydmandanyonelseinthegeneralareawithenoughdignitytodosoheythisisauselessscrollallitsaysishasturhasturhasturoverandoveragainwhatdoyoumeantheunmentionableohhasturwhatdoyoumeancuresandtheresthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindandthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonafteralltimehadntbeeninventedyetwhenhesetthethingaswegnomesinventedtimebecauseweinventedtheclockbutthatcantquiteberightasifthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonhadanalarmclocktheremusthavebeenclocksandthereforetimeandthereforegnomeswhichisareaconoundrumitsmylifequesttofigureoutexactlywhatthedealiswiththebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonandreportmyfindingstothehistoriansguildhaveyoubyanychanceseenthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonandmanagedtoremainsaneifyouhaveiwouldcearitanlyliketohearabouttheeventssurroundingyourfindingofthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonsoicanworkoffitformylifequestyouhavntokaygnimishadasurtamacadurochildefatsadoquedamasetwaitjustaminutethatwasmyfathersnamemynameinfullisgadillishontevadasuragearheadmoshasmorandomisacalculatorsotherehagidolifourharakazdulidmethrisadasanduladmeicandoanythingyoucandobetterallastyxiriachadoulafecedimmisharacountadrossatharusachimneyimpisthebombhelpitsgotmylegsowhatwerewedoingohyesthenamearracochadetradostakodrentiviloochadaruramegnimishadoneriasemonitazacharactadefectathelevelondbatdofdoomthatnowinsistsonusinghisfullgnomisnamesohelpyouallgodsharrpaalakgeliduditremeusalachafidonomkerdilliochtheillithidiseatingmybrainmakeitstoppharraluhaunagastordanaturemeccanmexicanbobnowtocontinuethenameinlegaleesethehereaftersignedhenceforthknownasthedefendantshallnowgotothirkenesandfsdweiuoasfoefoiufofhoitgioghkufirolfhuefnvuoiliodadecvadcioghudvmaqwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnmnowiknowmyabcsnextimewontousingwithmeyouopenthedoorinthedoorisaroomintheroomisagnomethegnomeisfrmenmountnevermindandhashairthecolordesignatedlightbrownwhichappearstobeamixtureofyellowredbluepinkandblackasithasthepropertiesofseveraldiffrentcolorsallfoundinthepigmentationoftreebarkuhohitcomesagainwhywon'tyougiveuphowmanyexperiencepointsdoigetthatsnotenoughwhendoichangelevelrepeatuntilfolggedbydmandanyonelseinthegeneralareawithenoughdignitytodosoheythisisauselessscrollallitsaysishasturhasturhasturoverandoveragainwhatdoyoumeantheunmentionableohhasturwhatdoyoumeancuresandtheresthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindandthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonafteralltimehadntbeeninventedyetwhenhesetthethingaswegnomesinventedtimebecauseweinventedtheclockbutthatcantquiteberightasifthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonhadanalarmclocktheremusthavebeenclocksandthereforetimeandthereforegnomeswhichisareaconoundrumitsmylifequesttofigureoutexactlywhatthedealiswiththebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonandreportmyfindingstothehistoriansguildhaveyoubyanychanceseenthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonandmanagedtoremainsaneifyouhaveiwouldcearitanlyliketohearabouttheeventssurroundingyourfindingofthebiggreenthingwhosnamestartswithcandendswithohmygoditseatingmymindthatwenttosleepandsetitsalarmclockafablousgnomishinventionthatactsasanormalcloclexceptthatithasbellsontopthatringatrandomtimesuntilthesettimeisreachedfortheendoftimeswhichwecertainlyhopeisntanytimesoonsoicanworkoffitformylifequestyouhavntokaygnimishadasurtamacadurochildefatsadoquedamasetjuniorsoremembertobecarefulwhatyouwishfrforbecauseyoujustmightgetit
127. Fail to die from lack of breath while doing the above.
128. Ater yoyr DM manages to kill the gnome make a character with an even longer nme and then refer to your character in third person all the time, never ysing any pronouns and always using the full name
130: Change your alignment every game (and don't tell the DM what the new alignment is)
131: Invent a fictious member of the group and always ask if anyone has heard from them ("Is Phil ever coming back, guys?")
132:Write you character sheet information in an obtuse code that no one in the group can read, including you.
133: Randomly insert the words "Of Blood" into mundane description (i.e., the Cavern of Blood, the Table of Blood, or the Small Grey Pony of Blood)
134: Slip notes into the adventure (or the DM's notes, if you aren't using a published adventure) that say things like, "Let me know when you get to this part".
135: Go "to the bathroom" and never come back
136: Have your paladin routinely announce, "To infinity...and beyond"
Our fighter really does that. It does indeed drive us nuts. ;)
139. Whenever your character is brought back from the dead, have him sit up and say in a deep voice, "I have awakened!"
140. Quote Ash from Army of Darkness often. Example: You see a nymph in the woods. Immediately grab her, say "Gimme some sugar, baby," and kiss. Repeat until you go blind.
Me saving the party amazed the DM.... me getting killed in the process due to my own stupidity
him off to no end :P143:Tell the DM that your next character will be a cleric worshiping him and you will have the domains of Uberness, Smite Everything, and Munchkinism. After all your more powerful than AO (FR):D (Actually had one of my playrs tell me this)
145: Play cleric of Heironeous as if he IS Heironeous. Done this once, it drives the DM nuts.
DM: 'make a spot check' PC: 'I'm Heironeous, I can sense every living creature within a mile!' DM: 'Sigh...'
146: Have theme music. Bring a small cd player and play your theme music whenever appropriate.
A colossal sized creature takes a 30 ft space nearly a fireball!
and it gets a 50 to add to the grapple checks to squeez the life out of his favorite monsters doing 6d6 +28 points of damage a rnd to a max of 60 foes at the same time!
I used this in one combat only and he was gratfull that I never did it again!
149) Be an elven pyromaniac Evoker. (ME :D)
150) Always play a mage and attack all monsters in melee combat. (This guy holds our groups record for most deaths in 1 session)
151) Persuade your DM to let you play an Aquatic elf in a land based campaign. (This gut is jut ANNOYING)
all these are real.
153) Have a party that has NO reason to be together (ex. NG high elf Cleric of Corellon Larethian, Drow Fighter (became half-dragon), lawful evil tiefling wizard, lawful stupid human ranger...we had one more party member...but she fit however you sliced it). For added effect, buddy up to the people that you should be slicing in two due to racial/alignment differences.
154) Complain about the DM's names for places and NPC's.
155) Become paranoid when the least little thing happens. Always be on the lookout for something that the DM might be using to harm you. Refuse to set down roots anywhere for fear of losing anything invested.
Originally posted by Aristocracy
154) Complain about the DM's names for places and NPC's.
Argh. This is among the crimes committed by the one player I've ever kicked out of the game. (He had a problem with Dreadwing the Cruel, Black Dracolich.)
And, while I'm on the subject of him:
156: Ignore the plot hooks, wander away from the rest of the party, then complain when you don't get as much exp as the people who fought the high-level vampire, one man short, while you wandered off and murdered a commoner.
158: Create something that gives you the ability to cast Wish at will without paying XP for it
159: Play a 3.5 Dwarf
160: Make your character suck, and don´t have any tactics at all. (I actually have players that do this, I mean, shouldnt a level 12 Minotaur Barbarian be able to fight some CR 6 critters without dying on the instant?)
Originally posted by Oberon_of_Avalon
138. Have your resident, noble fighter-type charge into battle while crying "EN TARO ADUN!" at the top of his lungs.
161. do the above, making him a psychic warrior who wears full plate, with a solid-face helm and single bladed gauntlets of brilliant energy
fear the protoss d&d char
and see if you can use psionics to get 4 ft long moving hair
Ah throw in a Brilliant Long Sword for when he fights
Anybody want to identify that one for a
?"AHHH HAAA!!! EARLYER YOU SAID YOU WERE A FARMER AND NOW YOU SAY YOU WORK IN THE INN!!! YOU ARE A DECIVER AND AN INFADELL AND YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR TRECORIS DEEDS!"
165: Insult all of the NPC's Manlyhood....
"Are you as impotant as the DM?"
166: Ask NPCs questions in game terms...
"I bet you you can NOT roll over the bar and steal a beer, but first I demand to know how many ranks you have in Tumble and move silently!"
167: Play a Paladin with a WIS of 6 that crys about not being wise enuff' to cast spells
(I actually do this!)
168: Sunder everything!
DM: You have sucsessfully sundered his sword, shield and Armor, Do you wish to use your last attack?
Ftr: What is he wearing?
DM: Clothes
Ftr: I sunder his clothes!
DM: You see a table and a chair in this room, Greswell says he wil be back with some ales in a moment
Ftr: I sunder the chair!
DM: You sunder the chair?
Ftr: ...and the Table!
Originally posted by The_Dark_One
163: Play an expert (spellcraft, languages, geography, etc.), but call yourself a wizard (despite not being able to cast a single spell), write the word "wizzard" on your hat, and run away from all danger (take feats that enhance your ability to run away).
Anybody want to identify that one for a
Is it Rincewind?...
Originally posted by The_Dark_One
It certainly is.....
YAY!...:D
and puts it in sigOriginally posted by necrodude16
steals TEW 's
STOP!, you cookie thief!...:D
Originally posted by Cloakable
160: Make your character suck, and don´t have any tactics at all. (I actually have players that do this, I mean, shouldnt a level 12 Minotaur Barbarian be able to fight some CR 6 critters without dying on the instant?)
I was playing in character!!!
170) Everytime you cast a spell of any sort, raise your hands and yell "I CAST THE SPELLS THAT MAKE THE PEOPLE FALL DOWN!!". This includes spells liks Light and Cure Serious Wounds and Spell Resistance. Do this everytime - guaranteed to annoy the living hell out of everybody.
and if so you wana do them ^^
then come drunk
and if so you wana do them ^^
then come
and if so you wana do them ^^
then come drunk
and if so you wana do them ^^
then come
and if so you wana do them ^^
then come
and if so you wana do them ^^
then come drunk
173.Play a gnome bard and hit random npcs on the head with your "madolin of DOOOOM".
174. Swallow the One ring in your dm's LoTR rippoff
175. smere feces on the wall of your room in the inn.
175. play a character with a severe speach inpediment.
176. swallow your dice.
177. repeat 173 till dm stabs you with a kitchen knife
178. bite the dm's cat.
Play a gnome bard and hit random npcs on the head with your
"madolin" . DOOOOM".
dont you mean MANDOLIN
183: Insist on playing a Dark-elf that speaks like a thug...Yo yo ma man! Break out witha bling bling our ma homies put a cap in yo azz!
184: Play an Elf that duel wields scimitars.
185: Ask if you can attempt to ride the Beholder
187. Bring your DM really expensive presents every game and give them to him in front of your group. (Gift wrap nicely, with ribbons.) Insist on sitting next to him. Pat him on the leg a lot, and congratulate him every time one of his monsters hits a character. Take his side in every dispute, and toss his hair around every time after he describes some very bad evil guy.
188. When your DM reaches for his dice, lick them.
189. In character, refer to the other PCs as NPCs. "I ask the NPC cleric (gesture to player) to heal me up."
190. Play a rouge. When the DM tells you it's rogue, insit he's wrong and now that he mentions it, what kind of eyeliner does he use?
191. Come dressed with rouge.
192. Play while eating marhsmellows but don't chew, just let them accumulate. Try to negotiate with everything you encounter. Role play.
193. When its your turn, stand up and exclaim, "I use Improved Disarm to cut off his arms!!!" pout when the DM argues aganst it and throw a fit about having taken such a broken feat.
194. Communicate to your DM only through the boards, even during the game.
195. Post your DM's email address. (oh yeah...!)
196. Roll your dice by snorting them into your nostril and then blowing. "Dude! A 20! And presents!"
197. Keep referring to him as Dum-dum Master.
198. Take skill points in Craft, circumcision.
199. Name your animal companion after the DM. Kick it.
200! Bring a driving iron to the game. Use it to roll your dice. (Did this once. I had finally figured out that it wasn't the monsters that were killing my characters, it was that stupid d20!)
201. Roll play using the latrine. "18! Did I hit?"
202. Borrow your DM's books. Remove the covers and paste them on the wrong books. Return the next game session.
203. Play your paladin as a small orphan girl with red, curly hair and a mount named Sandy. Sing lots.
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! Keep the faith! :pile:
Sedriis - Any reason for posting the same message 6 times
and sorry about misspelling mandolin.
Sedriis - Any reason for posting the same message 6 times
and sorry about misspelling mandolin.
Sedriis - Any reason for posting the same message 6 times
and sorry about misspelling mandolin.
sorry again
205: When every you get a bad roll yell at the DM and state that he is out to get you.
206: Keep trying to kill your character.
207: Bring your gilfreind and have her sit as close as possible to the DM and make out with her. (I have really done this):D
208: Play an Occult Slayer in a party of Wizards.... Complete Warrior pg. 66
209: Make a Deaf. Blind & Stupid Barbarian that rages when ever he runs into somethig or misses an attack roll....Dont take Blind Fight
212: Weapon profeciantcy: Stick
213: Talk with a lisp (why did they put an S in lisp?)
214: Play a Barbarian with 3 int. and name him "Bob"
215: Make a PrC called "A knight who says 'Ni!'" And use it's "Ni!" Ability every chance you get
216: Demand a shrubbery
217: Make a pyromaniac Sorcerer named "Tim"
218: Ask if you can play a Great Wyrm Prism dragon with 60 levels in _____ classes
219: Slay the Tarassque, raise it as undead, and make it do meaningless tasks
220: Play a munchkin from Oz
Not trying to be offenseive, but every way I turn I see his haunting visage!
221. Play an insane mage.
Originally posted by FOOL
215: Make a PrC called "A knight who says 'Ni!'" And use it's "Ni!" Ability every chance you get
216: Demand a shrubbery
217: Make a pyromaniac Sorcerer named "Tim"
222.Insult anyone you meet with something like "I fart in your general direction!" or "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
223. play a paladin and instead of getting a mount act as if you are on a horse and hire a peasant to bang two half-cocnuts together.
224. Constantly quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail when possible. Whenever you take damage say "Its only a flesh wound!"
triple posts, i am so sorry.#226- Have your character get drunk, curse at every NPC he sees, and have your character make sexual advances toward every NPC in sight.
#227- Steal every thing in sight even if it is nailed down.
#228- Kill his Big Nasty Wicked Bad Guy with a critical hit from a +5 Vorpal Greatsword
#228- Throw your dirty underwear at the DM.
(This actually happened. The DMs little brother threw it at him)
#229- Roleplay as a mentally retarded character
#230- Do not speak proper english (Me smash little bug thingy!!!
#231- Discuss the possibility of a halfling and a half-orc getting together and producing children.
#226- Have your character get drunk, curse at every NPC he sees, and have your character make sexual advances toward every NPC in sight.
#227- Steal every thing in sight even if it is nailed down.
#228- Kill his Big Nasty Wicked Bad Guy with a critical hit from a +5 Vorpal Greatsword
#228- Throw your dirty underwear at the DM.
(This actually happened. The DMs little brother threw it at him)
#229- Roleplay as a mentally retarded character
#230- Do not speak proper english (Me smash little bug thingy!!!
#231- Discuss the possibility of a halfling and a half-orc getting together and producing children.
#231- Act out everything you do. For example if your character attacks something pull out a cardboard tube and hit the DM with it and say "Ha..I smite thee foul beast!!"
232: Act out the process of an enemy stepping on caltrops by placing d4's where your DM is sure to walk :D .
233: Roll dice with the most INSTENSE FEROCITY, thus destroying the DM screen.
234: Call every royal women on the campaign a WELCH.
235: Play a female character and constantly do inapropriate things.
236: Draw on every thing you find.
238: Throw everything around you.
239: Watch TV in the middle of any roleplaying encounter.
240: Always ask around for Elminister.
241: Spit the dice.
242: Demand pepperoni pizza when you play with a vegetarian(lol did that too).
243: Write your character sheets in L337.
245: You and your party start an Irish Drinking song.
246: While the DM is talking get up, walk around the table, making sure you mess with a random persons hair, and sit back down, and repeat.
247: Go up behind your DM and start picking his nose.
248: Every time you come across some chickens, Jump up and yell, "I LIKE CHICKENS (DM's Name)!!"
249: Forget who you are.
250: Forget where your are.
251: When you come across a potato patch Crouch into the fedal position and start rocking back and forth. While doing all of that scream, "THE EYE'S THE EYE'S THEY NEVER BLINK."
252: You and your party start a Ho Down.
Originally posted by The_Dark_One
163: Play an expert (spellcraft, languages, geography, etc.), but call yourself a wizard (despite not being able to cast a single spell), write the word "wizzard" on your hat, and run away from all danger (take feats that enhance your ability to run away).
Anybody want to identify that one for a
I'll do it. Terry Pratchett: The Last Hero.
Originally posted by AAOMasta
243: Write your character sheets in L337.
That is just wrong. Seriously, seriously, wrong.
253: Ask if you can make a jump check to see further, at least once every five minutes, if you're on a straight, level road (Someone in our party did this, it was so annoying).
DM: Yo uare sitting at Inn...
Player: Pick Pocket.
DM: What pocket? I haven´t finished my description yet.
Player: I don´t care. I just Pick Pocket on something.
Actually had this conversation yesterday.
256: Attack the sorcerer because "he's the nearest thing I can attack." (had this happen twice.)
258. Bring this thread back to the front page
260)Use lesser planar binding to capture an efreeti, get three wishes, tell the efreeti to go kill its buddy in the hallway, kill him while his back is turned, then capture the weakened efreeti, get three wishes, and tell it to jump off a cliff.(done that too):D
261: Play a drunken mage.
262: When playing a drunken mage ask for Grog all the time and if you don't get it summon the biggest monster you can in the middle of a town. (Did that in a really bad DnD Starcraft map)
263: Kill anything you see.
I mean anything!
See a weel on the side of the road? Kill it!
Some cows? Kill them!
265: When you get hit, start to cry
266: Don't ever pay for anything. Ever
267: Say you want to play as a good drow who uses two swords.
273. Spike the DM's drink and then do any of the above.
274: Whenever your character benefits from a haste spell or similiar spell make the Million Dollar Man running noise.
275: Roleplay to the hilt a character with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (I am guilty of this)
276: Try to claim the 3 months you farted around at SCA combat practice as 'real-world experience' every time a comabt doesn't go your way (I am guilty of this)
277: Keep a running tally of all the monsters that you personally delt the killing stroke to and refuse to share the experience for them with other players.
278: Consistently quote from 8-Bit Theatre.
279: Talk smack about other gaming systems or sports teams you know your DM is passionate about during lengthy, complicated combats.
280: Randomly during play, stand up and proclaim "Holy crap, I just realized I've wasted my youth on intellectual pursuits, comic books, and roleplaying games! All the pot, beer, loose women, and other empty, cheap thrills I've missed out on! Quick, men, to the mall!"
281: Whenever it looks like the game isn't going your way or if your character is about to die an ignoble death, scream "Hastur! Hastur! Hastur!" at the top of your longs.
282: Claim that your character is based on John Norman's 'Gor' novels. This is particularly nice if your group's Paladin is female.
283: Everytime you get a natural 20 bellow, "Dude, I'm awesome!"
284: Whenever you activate your brilliant energy weapon make the 'vrooooommm' noise with your lips.
285: Play a neutral or good character and turn the first gnoll you kill into a cloak. Whenever NPCs assume that you're evil because you're wearing an intelligent humanoid's skin just say, "What? It's not like them gnolls is real people!"
286: Roleplay your character as a parody of your DM's father (that's fun stuff).
287: Claim that you should get extra XP for peeing into an empty Mellow Yellow bottle instead of leaving the table because " that's some hardcore commitment"
288: If your DM's girlfriend/boyfriend or family member is part of the groups loudly accuse both of preferential treatment whenever said player's character suceeds at even the simpliest task.
289: Do whatever the hell your evil, intelligent weapon suggests.
290: Make sure that your characters always finds a way to accidently burn down the inn the group is resting at.
292) Treat every tree as a mortal enemy. When asked why, go into a long explination about how the Trents of the world are after you. Include details of the
probes they keep giving you.293) Everytime someone hits you in combat, run to the party healer, and demand to be "Recharged".
294) Whenever you enter a new town, state lowudly "Alright, now where's my b******!"
295) Continually have your character refer to his time in 'Nam. Bonus point if you work it in during non combat situations.
296) Bring a Mini/Maxed 20th level Commoner to the game to play. Pout when your not allowed.
297) Refer to your everyone in by nicknames. Fighters are called "cannon fodder". Clerics are medics. Wizards are Beardie (specially fun with female), the character who hires the PCs as "Plot Hook".
298) Speak in the 2nd person. Don't explain what your doing.
299) Make your character incontinent.
300) Show up to the game. Once the game starts remember you left your character in the car. Do this every five minutes for each page or your character.
302) Whilst attacking a myocinid hive, go around shouting "alright, who wants farmhouse pizza?."
303) Whenever under attack from an unknown assailant, always remember to shout "what is it?!, space cow?!." (a cookie for the first person who gets the referance)
304) Whenever your DM wants to run a world specific campaign, always want to play the most evil, despised race there and then complain about the prejudice you receive from common folk.
306) Whenever the character comes across an important, famous NPC, have the character comment on how you thought the person would be taller. From then on, call the NPC "Shorty"
307) When eating, roll a d20 to determine how many times you chew each piece of food.
308) Demand the parties Paladin groom your character like he does his mount.
309) Continually refer to your sword as if it was another character. Don't actually carry a sword.
310) Everytime your character sees a cow, ask if the cow looks like it's going to attack like in "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist".
311) Everytime your party tries to parlay, attack the leader. If you kill the leader, look at the second in command and ask. "Anybody else want to negotiate?" (Did this once)
312) Continally Tell the cleric/paladin of your party, that your god is better then their god. Worship the same god.
314. Kill a level 10 fighter with a lvl 6's single low-level spell (Lesser Electric Orb, can't remember the lvl) (again, happened)
315. Defeat a rakaska with a level 8 wizard (while the tanks fight flesh golems) (see the first two)
317) Weapon Finesse: Trout
Read this d*mn thread in the middle of the game! No matter, you still can't stop. It's like those dang potato chips...
something about popping somthing or other...
320: Anytime you go through a door, even if you've been through it before, ask if it leads to a 10ft x 10ft room with an Orc guarding a chest.
321: Claim that your character is Jesus, and therefor automatically has 'Walk on Water'
What's this smell like??
now imagine where the finger has been (yucck you are a sick f*^%er) lol
This is an excellent ice breaker when joining a new game. Optional, add "And the wall" to the previous.
Play on,
Veers
327: Ready an action to kill it if it looks funny
328: Ready an action to do anything concievable. eg To eat food when it's set on the table in front of you. Insist on rolling to see if you hit.
329: Search every 5 foot area in a 15 by 100 foot hallway for traps (I've done it).
330: Pick fights with really tough looking NPCs, then chicken out at the last moment.
Originally posted by Achille
278: Consistently quote from 8-Bit Theatre.
Guilty. My favorite: "We have clearly reached the point where only rampant and unchecked stabbing can save us. My first act as self appointed stabbmaster is to slay my comrades." Always a muttering my character never acts on...
332: Have matches. light them and blow them out in prodigious ammounts.
333: have your character (likley half orc, but elf is really funny) insist "The purpose of life is to be as high on the food chain as possible. as such I REFUSE to eat vegetarians and would prefer meat of a Sentient being or, even better, a predator there of!". have the character say that to the innkeeper when they ask what you wnat for dinner (Gray Ogre)
335: After a battle, pee on all the corpses
336: Animate the corpses
337: yell at other players: "You rolled on the paper! Reroll!"
338: Eat out the local noodle house
339: Cast a spell to make others eat out the noodle house
340: Use chopsticks as melee weapons and fail to hit anything with them
341: actually succeed in hitting someone with a chopstick
342: do 341 out of game
343: Make a perfrom (waterworks) check to cry incessentaly when you don't get what you want. +10 if you're female.
(Actually happened and the DM gave free Polymorph spells)
344: Do it in real life (again, actually happened)
345: Put swedish fish in the DM's dice bag and see how many months it takes for him to find them all.
346: Upon an NPC's introduction, introduce yourself as the party's 'Tour Guide'.
347: Constantly change your character's appearance, thus quoting 8-bit yet again!
I'm only through #120, so I'll edit this if I find any doubles
267: Say you want to play as a good drow who uses two swords 304) Whenever your DM wants to run a world specific campaign, always want to play the most evil, despised race there and then complain about the prejudice you receive from common folk.
I have a player that constantly does this. It's to a point that we ban him from playing a 'good drow' or having multiple weapons.
Originally posted by porygandrew
345: Put swedish fish in the DM's dice bage and see how many months it takes for him to find them all.
What makes swedish fish different for you? I don't see any difference.
Originally posted by Canoy
What makes swedish fish different for you? I don't see any difference.
eh?
.......
Well, the real one's would stink now, wouldn't they.
........
:D
349: While dead, lounge around in other people's dreams and strike up conversations
350: Making a necklace from the shrunken heads of enemies. (and get it appraised at each town)
350: Put up a toll on any well used bridge
351: Constantly ask for more magic weapons
352: Tell all the other players that another player "likes" them. Especially funny with the same gender
354: Constantly tell the DM to, "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!" and sulk when no one laughs
355: Bring your own weapons
358. Sudden, permanent character flaws. You're a fearless and cunning rogue? Bamf: you can't go to sleep without a nightlight now. You're a powerful sorcerer who can deal death with a thought? Bamf: paralyzing fear of strong wind.
359. Whatever CAN be swam in, MUST be swam in.
360. Summon Monster for household chores.
361. Hunt the evening dinner with fireballs.
363) Play a Halfling, and demand to have an Elephant for a mount.
Originally posted by Snow in August
And almost forgot...
361. Hunt the evening dinner with fireballs.
I see nothing wrong with this. You bag dinner, and it's already cooked for you! :D
365) Every time you do something say ops.
366) Just sit there with a blank stare on your face not paying attion to a thing your DM says. (I hate when people do this)
368. Make your good cleric bargain about every copper piece, she doesn't earn, and attack other PCs, if they don't give it to you.
369. Laugh about every joke. This may sounds wierd, but when someone makes a comment even he can't laugh at, it really works.:D
370. Play an elven group and insist, that you sleep on trees, eat no meat and avoid walking on grass for not damaging it.
371. Play your elves gay. Have more than one gay elf in the party.
Originally posted by The Ethereal Wickerman
303) Whenever under attack from an unknown assailant, always remember to shout "what is it?!, space cow?!." (a cookie for the first person who gets the referance)
Leela: "Um, sweetie? You see that giant quasar we're heading into? You might wanna scootch a few parsecs to the left."
Ship: "I'm afraid I can't do that, Leela."
Fry: "What's happening? Space cow?"
-Futurama, Love and Rocket
Also earlier in that episode..
Leela: "I'm not impressed by a guy's message, Fry. I'm impressed by the guy....or not."
*Ship shudders sending them sprawling to the floor*
Leela: What was that?
Fry: Maybe we hit a space cow!
373. Constantly quote Futurama. Pester the DM about the creation of the entire Material Plane in a box. Build sentient constructs powered by alcohol. Have your hands replaced by construct versions of them with +6 dexterity.
371. Constantly modify your character in-game in really stupid ways. Tattoos. Get constant tattoos. Get drunk whenever an opportunity presents itself, and have sex with anything that looks even remotely appealing. Whenever questioned on this, state that the purpose of the game is to have fun. Count how long it takes before you either a) get VD, b) get penalties based on healing tattoos, or c) find out the wench you were about to bed with is actually an illusioned mind flayer.
372. Eat everything that can be eaten. Ask for vivid descriptions of scenery, and proceed to begin eating the grass, trees, whatnot. Never settle for anything less than a feast, and have your trail rations a four-course meal. If pressed, eat corpses. Count how long it will take before a save vs. death is required.
373. Insist your character is actually a polymorphed gold dragon looking for a means to get back to his normal form. Also, cheat like mad, and whenever called on this cheating, state it's your latent dragoncy coming forward and use that excuse for everything.
374. Try to talk your way out of every. Single. Battle. Every one you get into, including fights with undead, animals, elementals, and constructs. Act insulted when trying to talk a zombie horde down doesn't work, and get depressed for weeks.
375. Whenever you make a new character, use a pen and give yourself utterly ridiculous stats that can't go down because you used pen :p. State you were planning for future stat increases, even if you have a dex of 30 or something.
376. Use Mage Hand on the barmaid's skirt.
383. Set off a trap in a window. Watch someone from above close the window. Climb back up five mins later and die.
"I wanna make an explode/gross-out/turn green/bladder burst (ew, blood AND pee everywhere)/polymorph enemies into opposite sex/gain sudden magic powers(works well w/ barbarian)/(PC's name) SMASH(works well w/ wiz/sor)/Reroll check. Act out what happens (I DON'T wanna see this).
392: Do any of the above to DM.
393: Quote Warcraft III (either). I.e, "I always wanted to start my own religion...so I DID!" Name reference for
?394: Make a barf check (in REAL LIFE). Bonus if done on DM's papers...
395: Make an Animalistic template character. Call him Sonic/Tails.
Get p***** when DM won't let you take 505 actions per round/ fly as high as possibly can be done & after almost full round (5 seconds), start falling to the ground, respectively. Get REALLY P***** when DM won't let you survive any fall except onto spikes, in which case you must first lose sheild being carried, then all rings carried, then life immediately, have three seconds between time to get out OR fall into bottomless pit OR get smashed, where you die immediately.
396: If playing Sonic, have familiar/animal companion of Tails. Make it so he rips out the throat of anything that says real name (Miles, for die-hard fans). Get mad if DM doesn't let him come back from dead and make him invincible to everything but being crushed to death. Get REALLY mad if he isn't allowed flying, even though he's a fox.
HOW the hell did they do that in the 1st three games both for Genesis & GameGear? Wish I could do that...wouldn't even mind fur. ;)
397: keep editing same post...4th time, seriously.
398
:D: Keep saying "Still, Rosa, I am just a Dark Knight." Bonus if name of character is Cecil. Any1 get reference?399: Name character any Castlevania hero. Get mad when you don't get a + 20,000 on attack & damage rolls against vampires.
400: Play a clone of after true ending of Aria of Sorrow Soma. (hint 4 those who don't know: get & equip Fire demon(?), giant bat, & succubus souls & fight graham) Get mad when you are given undead creature type. HOORAH FOR SONIC & SOMA CRUZ!
401: Make questions of hero battles (Who would win: Sonic or Soma?)
6th edit as of now... (whistle)
Did this to a DM once, he got really, REALLY mad.
#405: Staff of the Magi, Necklace of Fireballs, lamp oil, and alchemist's fire. Nuff said.
407. Spend all your money of livestock like chickens and herd them through dungons to detect and set off traps
409. Every session, make your character having a different personnality.
410. Don't care for anything, even if you're Dm dump your Lev1 character in front of an angry red great wyrm.
411. Make your character touching every NPC where he shouln'd be allowed.
412. Kill someone,
his entrails and ask for a very clear description of the sensation.413. Put your finger in the eyes of every NPC you meet.
414. Eat the entrail and the eyes of everybody you just kill.
415. Play a female character and make her do nasty thing with her sword in the middle of the village.
416. Try to
everything you can see.. a cat, a kid, a tree, other pc, a dwarf, food, a golem, a cow...417. Siht ekil klat retcarahc ruoy ekam.
417. Siht ekil klat retcarahc ruoy ekam.
As a DM, I have only one thing to say: Make a fort save against death.
Originally posted by NestroEmichae
As a DM, I have only one thing to say: Make a fort save against death.
:heehee
418. Play a assassin a make your imaginary friend engage you to kill anybody you think you're crazy cauz you're talking alone.
419. Play a sorcerer who's against magic.
420. Make your character think that real people are fictive and his imaginary friend are real.
421. Make you're character **** every time he can.
DM: You enter the king's room.
Pc: I take off my pant and ****.
DM: The guard come to get you out.
Pc: I hit the guard and finish my job...
DM: You miss him and you're taking out of the castle.
Pc: While I'm bringed out, I finish my job and come on the guard.
DM:He hit you with his mace and you're transported to a hospital.
You wake up.
Pc: I ****.
DM: -_-
:D 423: Talk like you're dislexic. "So a guy walks into a bra"
424: Eat every monster you kill and make a check on if you get a virus from not cooking it.
425: Hid in bushes and jump out and attack unsuspecting NPCs while screaming "No one expects the Spanish Inquasistion!" (Best done with Outlaw of the Crimson Road):OMG!
:hoppingma PS: So The BO, you should have just said that I didn't have the right character. EVERYONE, I'm not D&D literate, correct me if I make a mistake, BESIDES SPELLING , please.
Originally posted by Hellbound
....
425: Hid in bushes and jump out and attack unsuspecting NPCs while screaming "No one expects the Spanish Inquasistion!" (Best done with Rouge of the Crimson Road)(Probobly wrong character name but I'm close enough)
ROUGE ROUGE ROUGE
It's rOGUe....
426: Everytime, when you miss in combat, or when you got hit get loud and exclaim:
That can't be true. In real live that would be different. (e.g. When I charge someone on the street, he's to shocked/surprised to make an AoO.)
427: When the rules you were angry about in 426 work in your favoure, change your opinion completely.
(e.g. He's charging me? Oh, I want my AoO. ... Shocked? I'll never be shocked about that.)
Well, meet the DM who would greet the Kender with joy. :D
431) Play a LE, and demand to have coure eladrin familiar who has turned to the dark side.
432) Play a kleptomanic Kender that suffers from short-term memory loss and terets (in the form of taunting).
433) Play a 1st level Gnome who claims to be a Planetar that was magically altered against her will. If your DM agrees, he says that you can become one at level 20. When you get there however, claim your are infact a Xixecal that had magically altered into a Planetar.
444. After 434, fly into a rage yourself and storm out of the house.
445. Have your character insist on going on solo missions that serve little to no purpose, and do it all the time.
446. When the DM passes a note to another player, have your character begin eyeing that character suspiciously.
443. Just skip some numbers... think noone will notice :D
447. Play anything you want, and MAKE it a Kender. Elven Rogues are easy. The stealing mage is possible. A Bard, dancing and singing through the crowd and taking his pay ind advance is nice...
I recomand the cleptomanic Paladin, who tries to find the owner of the stuff the other day (People are so careless letting their things slip out of their pockets constantly)
Originally posted by P33KAJ3W
168: Sunder everything!
DM: You have sucsessfully sundered his sword, shield and Armor, Do you wish to use your last attack?
Ftr: What is he wearing?
DM: Clothes
Ftr: I sunder his clothes!
DM: You see a table and a chair in this room, Greswell says he wil be back with some ales in a moment
Ftr: I sunder the chair!
DM: You sunder the chair?
Ftr: ...and the Table!
Im guilty of this, ended up having to reroll a new character...
:bangshead :bangshead :bangshead
449) Make little towers out of all the dice. Complain when somebody needs the d20, which is at the bottom of the tower.
450) If you have one of those groups that likes to drink soda, make a giant tower with all of the cans. See how high you can go before they all fall over (16 is our record!).
451) Use obscure special abilites as often as possible. Try to make it so that the DM has to search every book at least twice until you figure out what the ability does.
453. Ask if you can have a mountain dew constantly
454. Come up with VERY unimaginative names "George", "bob", "frank"....
455. Come up with VERY imaginative names "Mdi'die;dieif'd-due"
456. "lose" all the DM's books
457. Constantly mimick the other players
458. Ask if you can invent the paper shedder. (don't ask)
460) Sunder people.
461) Pick the pocket of fellow players. Don't play a thief.
662) Pull out futueristic weapons.
Player: "I'll use my phaser".
DM: "You don't have a phaser."
Player: "It's on my character sheet. I fire at level 16, wide beam. I should hit all of them, vaporizing them all."
463) Attack fellow players during combat
Originally posted by He Who Is
459) Whenever the DM asks you what your going to do, just reply "Ditto". Specially fun when your playing a fighter whose plays after a Wizard.
460) Sunder people.
461) Pick the pocket of fellow players. Don't play a thief.
662) Pull out futueristic weapons.
Player: "I'll use my phaser".
DM: "You don't have a phaser."
Player: "It's on my character sheet. I fire at level 16, wide beam. I should hit all of them, vaporizing them all."
463) Attack fellow players during combat
462) Put numbers in the wrong order on your character sheet and then watch the DM struggle to figure out your math system with a big grin on your face.
off, if noone let you use em in the game."But that is how my caracter is like... OK, I give up mending, but there for I take the fireball, icestorm and the armageddon .... No, that IS fair. It is what my caracter is like."
.... geez, everytime I meet my fellow players I can add another line here .... all I write down here actually happened .... sad if you start counting my adds to this topic
466.) Have you character sing the song and skip as he follows the party leader.
467.) Ask the DM what the weather is like every 5 minutes
468.) When going on journey someplace ask if you are there yet over and over till you get there. Your journey will be alot shorter..
469.) While on the journey sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves"
467) Actually accomplish doing at least thirty of the above listed things (my players have done this repeatedly).
468) Drop your DM´s Warhammer (models -and- weapon) during your sessions.
469) Decide that playing with your DM´s real-life swords to demonstrate your moves (the DM or a fellow player being the monster) is a good idea.
470) Accomplish the above listed without getting charged for murder.
482) Use wish to accomplish the same results.
Originally posted by Selenus
11.) fart really really bad while playing
i did this once. not on purpose though. we stoped for the nigth we me party fainted. im not joking
guess what, it's
101 "funny" ways to mess with your Players
484) Put all the rock you can find in your inventory saying "These poor little rock are alone in the middle of of nowhere. I can't let them here in this dangerous environment..." I run out of imagination.. just say 200 sentences for each rock like if they were alive..
485) Once in a rocky land, repeat 483 and 484.
487. Insist on warping to Abyss plane and fighting a balor alone.
488. As above, but to Hell and fight Pit Fiend.
489. Tell random PCs that you can beat Asmodeus with a hand tied behind your back. DM will probably call your bluff and summon him.
490. Use mage hand to rip a female NPC's clothes off, then pick them up & sell them. Bound to get some reactions from NPC's, girls in the game group, and the DM.
491. Demonstrate above on a female in your group...THIS will ban your sorry rear!
492. Pee on the one playing the bard with Profession (art) and say you gained a class in Simon Cowell, or Critic.
493. Actually write up stats for said "class".
:heehee
494. L/N/CG Cleric only: gain undead trait, then turn and get enough to kill anything of 4 or lower HD while total level = 4 or less. Here's what you'll do:
this is still going!?Dear god!
Well anyway!
495: Talk barkwords at all times (Done this one ;)
496: at a random point get up and go home for no reson.
497: Ask if you can be a Epic Gold Dragon when you are playing a low level game.
498: use any thing out of the book "Power Games Hand Book" (I saw this today)
499: Try to put all the monsters you meet in little magic balls so you can call them out to battle for you later.
Who wants 500?
500: Play a dwarf. Try to get "a girl" (you know the details). Then RP it really good. Then roll 19 on your CHA check. Then roll 19 on your second CHA check. Then roll 19 on your third CHA check. All this completely legal and while your DM is watching. Force the DM to make a detailed description of what occurs!
501: Use as many entries from this list as possible just because you can (my players do this constantly, referring to the list all the time).
502: Start messing with the über-evil, world-spanning big bad evil organization of world-destroying and then try to take their identity and go scare the
out of everybody (done this too...)Originally posted by The Swedish Viking
501: Use as many entries from this list as possible just because you can (my players do this constantly, referring to the list all the time).
done, when i first saw this post i the link to my entire group, including the dm, oh man, funny shtuff.
dis1
Mine is 18. :pile: :pile: :pile: :pile: :p
505: Bring your pet hamster to the gaming group, and use your DM´s papers to dry up the poo it leaves behind when it gets scared from all your shouts and hollers.
sir buxi dies, whats your new charcters name gonna be
player:sir buxi
507) Be the 4th ranged character in a party of 6
508) Ask to make a search check at the bottom of a river
509) Go up to everyone and say Heeeey
510) Ask to see the DMG
511) Ask whats going on when you are inside a building (You're not a walking Clairvoyanc spell!)
513) Do 512 when your not even playing as a spellcaster
514) Play a monk
516) Replace their DMG with a brand new one...it will confuse for a session or two...their notes won't be there.
517) Use solid color dice that are hard to read.
518) Repeat everything he or she says.
521) Play a redeemed Evil Outsider (Baalor or Lemure) who's a housewife to a gnome butler. Insist on cooking bacon and eggs for the party and run around in circles shrieking whenever the party gets attacked.
523: Use Prestidigitation to try to turn peoples eyes inside out, or use Mage Hand to accomplish the same thing.
524: Use Mage Hand to pick the arrows from enemies´ quarrels and punch the arrows through their eyes.
(i did it)ask a friend to being so fudge over but don't tell anyone just you and the friend. when he/she goes to the bathroom make sure they have the fudge. then they will smash in their hand come out saiding you have no tp so i use my hand then they lick and smile saiding that some good $#!t !!!!! I was sick for three days
:OMG!
want some cool music/stuff to listen to during those breaks? check out www.sednagames.com and download GM hold Music.
you laugh you head off.
530) Everytime the DM returns from the bathroom, tell him exactly how many seconds he was gone.
531) Everytime the DM asks you a question (e.g. "You see three orcs in the room. Do you attack?"), ignore it until he asks you again. Then say "Oh, I thought that was a rhetorical question."
I had a player that did all of these.
534: Talk Wrestling (WWE)
535: Have your mobile phone on...
536: dry-root your missus/girlfriend whilst trying to play...In front of everyone else.
537: Grumble, complain, hog the party treasure, take forever to decide what you are doing each round of combat and get gacked out of sheer desperation by the other party members then accuse the DM of not controlling the game...
539.) Complain about the D20 System for being too random (I wanna be able to take 10 on my attack ...)
when encountert with the solution of taking 2 D10
540.) Complain about the fakt, that you won't crit as often and won't hit the BBEG less because of his high AC.
BTW: taking money for outtime roxx.... 10cent for each outtime above 3 :-)
542) Start humming "Mmm bop" to yourself in the middle of your DM's big dramatic speech.
Originally posted by The BO
Once again my party met, so here the results:
539.) Complain about the D20 System for being too random (I wanna be able to take 10 on my attack ...)
when encountert with the solution of taking 2 D10
This idea is ACTUALLY in "Unearthed Arcana", only in UA they say to use 3d6.
544: attempt to kill the party when you meet up
545: team up with a friend, become good roleplayers, and then have one of you play a paladin and the other an anti paladin
544: attempt to kill the party when you meet up
545: team up with a friend, become good roleplayers, and then have one of you play a paladin and the other an anti paladin
547) Email the link to this thread to your DM.
skelatal saint vampire lich death knight half dragon half celestial half fiend werewolf human
551: play an alactose intolerant half celestial half fiend ( a
for whoever knows the referance)hint: it is from a comic
Had that happen to me once.... the Red Dragon did not like the tea and crumpets, unfortunetly the PC survived due to an improved invisibility spell like ability.
552: When being rushed by many opponents, put up a rope and cast "stop time" on it. Your opponents will run into the rope. :D (I personally know the people who invented this and got it banned at a tournament)
Originally posted by trappedslider
#555 Tell your dm to make a breath check every second for your character
Uh, isn't that just tempting fate?
-MVK
557. And Profession (Elvis impersonater)
558. And craft (Spam)
#563 have your character eat everything. if a cop shows you his badge you eat it, DM mention an object you then eat it. I ate a major artifacl one time, it was supose to blow up the world or something but i ate it. found out latter that was how it was supose to be destroyed. Dm was messing backi guess.
#564 play a female bisexual half orc if your a guy. freaks out the dm and offers some really funny moments. "Me think Princesess SEXY Momma!"
# 565 have your character always looking for a bathroom then you find one you dont need to go.
# 566 Have character poke everything and everyone, yes even the dragons.
#567 Play a three foot tall half orc chaotic neutral mage with ability scores as low as you can get them. i know this sounds kinda normal but if you play him right everyone will laugh.
569) When playing in a normal party of Elves, Humans, Dwarves, etc insist on playing something ridiculous like a Axiomatic Beholder Monk/Barbarian whilst complaing that the other characters aren't creative enough. Then when playing in a weird monster party full of Illithids, Minotaurs and Medusa's, play a really normal character like a Halfling Rogue whilst complaining that the other characters aren't realistic enough.
560) Play a Bard as though he were a singer from a Death Metal band. Claim that your random screeching and growling will inspire bravery in his comrades, whilst in reality the players are just covering their ears.
561) Play a Bard who plays an Accordian, and has a Monkey companion called Abu who wears a Fez.
562) Play a NE Druid/Hexblade/Barbarian, and insist on having a Donkey companion. The donkey never attacks anyone, it just stands there and eats grass, but those who try to attack it die in a random and horrific way, like a cow falling from the sky or the arrow they shot at it richocets off a wall and back into their head.
569) Kill off all of his custom made NPCs
570) When your DM puts a giant chasm in front of you and he says that you have to take a different route through dragon infested swampland to get to the castle, but the castle is on the other side of the chasm, just have your sorc cast fly on all of your party and just fly across the chasm.
571) Cast animate object on all of your equipment
572) Instead of having to try to sneak through a goblin village in order to fing an artifact, like the DM wants, just cast meteor on the village and rummage through the rubble.
Originally posted by Son_Of_Cthulhu
568) Cast Magic Missle at the darkness.
DM: "So what are you going to do?"
PC: "I'm going to cast magic missle"
DM: "So,your attacking the darkness?"
PC: "Yup."
DM: "sigh"
Originally posted by trappedslider
[b]DM: "So what are you going to do?"
PC: "I'm going to cast magic missle"
DM: "There's nothing to attack"
PC: "I'll attack the darkness"
DM: "So,your attacking the darkness?"
PC: "Yup."
DM: "sigh"
fixed it for you
Originally posted by BloodSpill
Have your hands replaced by construct versions of them with +6 dexterity.
Don't forget that they also grant a +5 enhancement bonus on Perform (holophoner) checks.
I don't know how he did it, but Matt Groening managed to make a cartoon better than The Simpsons.
574)-While in the middle of a battle ask the DM to look out the window and see if the dogs are "Playing" again.
575)-Ask the DM to read the room description again because you weren't paying attention.
576)-Fall asleep during game.
And as probably guessed, we have a player who has done all of these, we call him the Gimp.
576)-Fall asleep during game.
578) Do that after you insulted everyone because they were up that late ... "U a so weird. I only had 3 hours of slep, and that must be enough."
(I had a player do this in a DC Heroes game)
575)-Ask the DM to read the room description again because you weren't paying attention.
-LOL I've done that one before
#578: Name your character the most stereotypical name possible even though its the first name that came to your head and you invested no effort to come up with a slightly better one...
#579: QUESTION THE DM
#580: Say you cant block magic missle and proceed to open the rulebook(somewhat related to the above)
#582: After a fight, where you roled mostly under 11 and therefor got the lowest kills, stopp playing, sit in a corner and be deeply depressed
because "the dice hate you".Do that for at least 15 minutes...
.... and they said it's nice to have women play D&D .... NO IT'S NOT!!
584.) Completely delay play by arguing with the DM over why your human can't have natural red/purple hair/eyes
585.) Have a modifier of at least +15 in every knowledge skill. Rumor or misinformation-based plot hooks? Not anymore!
588) Be in character when you meet him outside of a gaming session.
Originally posted by AlexBurel
556. Put ranks in Peform(Mime)
557. And Profession (Elvis impersonater)
558. And craft (Spam)
I've seen someone play a mime bard. He succeeded more in getting the other players to hate him rather than the DM.
589: After every successful battle, sing the Final Fantasy battle victory music.
591. Play a half-orc bard
592. Play a half-orc sorcerer
593. Play a deaf, blind, mute, quadrapalegic burn victim
594. Play a gnome who'd rather set up shop and sell fake magic trinkits instead of go adventuring (someone did this to me once.
)595. Ask if your half-orc can have a +4 str. bonus because he's actually 1/4 human, 3/4 orc (same person as 594
)596. Trim your fingernails while you play
597. Whatever the party alignment is, be as opposite as possible
598. Play a kender
599. Before the DM is even done discribing a room, announce that your kender is going to steal everything you can
600. (woo! 600!) Take Leadership. Sack towns. Have fun.
602: Build your own dungeon and become te villain to torment the small village.
603: Announce that you, playing a Paladin, kills the king during the audience where you recieve your reward for slaying the dragon. Why kill the king? Why, to get the cool Blackguard levels of course!
(Happened. Never want it to happen again.)
608) Try to seduce every female NPC in the game.
"SO...whats it like being a Hobgoblin in today's society?"
609) Continually complain that the GM makes the game to easy.
610) After the GM kills off your characters, accuse him of being nothing but a PC killer.
611) Play a Character with an IQ of 5. Continually tell everyone your designed the character after the GM.
612) Anytime the GM says anything, ask him to repeat it.
613) Anytime the GM addresses you, look at him, ask him for an inane amount of useless details.
614) Sing your actions...off key....off beat.
615) When describing your actions, use the incorrect words for you action.
"I'm going to molest the Hobgoblin."
617. Hell, why not an entire party of Kender?
btw, PyR3f1y, love the sig.
Trust me, no matter what words I use, my group will ok it. I could say I **** the hobgoblin with my sword, and they'll all give me weird looks, but then say 'ok - you **** that hobgobline with your sword... watch out for the hobgoblin next to it!'
my group would do the same thing.
619) Contradict the DM on everythingp in game:
"The orc attacks"
"No he doesn't"
"Yes, he charges you"
"No"
"Look, I am the DM"
"Naaaah, you're wrong!"
604: Insist that you're descendant Of Frodo Baggins, and you have a Ring of Invisablity, a Short Sword +5 with orc bane, and a Mithril shirt. At level one.
(Happened. Never want it to happen again.)
It would actually be a +1 Short Sword of Spider's Bane (+3 vs. Spiders), with a Continuous 50' Circle (guesstimate) of Detect Goblinoid.
Yes, Sting was created for the slaying of Spiders not Orcs. You're thinking of Thorin's sword, Orcrist.
Yes I am picky.
Yes I am a DM.
620) Be a Good aligned Cleric, or Paladin. Conitnually try embezzle money, murder and pillage.
621) Be said PC and try to sway other good clerics and paladin's in the party to the "Dark Side".
:heehee623. Play said cleric and be LN, Animate dead, and cast cure light wounds spontaneously. (I know a friend who does this)
624. If you're a sor, wiz, pal, or druid continually ask what your familiar/animal/horse is doing. (I know someone who does this too)
625. Two words: Gnome Barbarian
Kire
I specialize in grappling :D
:D Barabel Hippie :D
625. Two words: Gnome Barbarian
I know someone who played a halfling barbarian that was stronger than the orc fighter of the party. Guess who was weilding the greatsword?
628. Make nonsensically ridiculous calculations for your rolls, but still come to the right answer
"So thats 8 multiplied by pi, correlated with the square root of the second differential of my BAB polynomial, all integrated into e to the 4.... does a 17 hit?"
EDIT: Instead of followed by whatever the spell does,it should be f"Followed by a fireball,not matter what the spell does"
And make sure the screaming/remembering lasts at least 5 sessions, just to tick everyone else off too. :D
Edit: And just for a bit of irony, demand it when neither character has any levels in fighter.
630) Demand that when screaming before casting your spell (ala DBZ), that your opponent will stand there and think about back before he was the most powerful fighter in the universe (because he now is the most powerful fighter in the universe) and how he was training to become the most powerful fighter in the universe, because that was his ultimate dream - to become the ultimate fighter in the universe... and once you've finished screaming, he must make a soliloquy about (*gasp*) how the PC is now the most powerful fighter in the universe, and how he remembers back when he was training to become the most powerful fighter in the universe, because he used to be the most powerful fighter in the universe, but is no longer the most powerful fighter in the universe, because he (the PC) is now the most powerful fighter in the universe.
And make sure the screaming/remembering lasts at least 5 sessions, just to tick everyone else off too. :D
Edit: And just for a bit of irony, demand it when neither character has any levels in fighter.
632. Get to lvl 12 vow of poverty (no require breathing anymore) and still continue asking the DM to make breath checks for you.
633. Keep tapping the edges of his screen slowly inward until he notices and fixes it.
634. Keep doing 633 all night long.
636: If asked about the above, say it is part of the roleplaying aspect.
637: Once your DM messes something up (identifies a Buffalo as "A fat animal", talks about using chicken feathers for arrows, has a adventure of non-stop Ghouls/Kobolds), remind him of constantly every game session.
638: Again, if your DM messes up, ask him if his mind is full of naughty pictures of Ashlee Simpson.
639: Play a halfling rogue named Grodo Baggins with a ring of invisbility (that so f%##@!% P&^$^ me off).
416. Try to
I actually made a NPC **** a cow once (ok,ok, it ws more just once). The cow gave birth, but most of the babys died
I had a PC who hit on the female guard who came to arrest a fellow PC for smashing his hand through a window for no apperant reason. My PC was a halfling
145: Point out that the Player's Handbook states rgar clerics need not actually worship a deity. Then, play an atheist cleric.
146: Have theme music. Bring a small cd player and play your theme music whenever appropriate.
Did that using Black Sabbath's Iron Man for a warforged guy. The DM liked classical and folk music.
641. Don't realize the point when your DM doesn't want you to do somthing, because it messes up the entire quest.
642. Keep saying does it hit every time you roll the same number in combat.
643. Ask "does it hit" when fighting a gelatnious cube.
... Then give the BBEG your bill.
(Note: if you actually pull it off, start sticking ranks in Knowledge (psychoanalysis) and open up shop)
645) Use psychoanalysis in combat for "shock tactics". Demand that the DM stick penalties on your opponents attack bonus and AC, because they're "too surprised about being confronted with their deepest fears".
646) If 645 fails, start using psychoanalysis on the DM to try and explain why he has an "irrational" and "deep-seated fear" about "allowing a paternal figure" into his game, which obviously demonstrates that he "has repressed desires for his mother".
So the fact that you think Freud is weird... does that have anything to do with your relationship to your mother?
So the fact that you think Freud is weird... does that have anything to do with your relationship to your mother?
No, I believe Makuya was effected by his/her relationship to Psi Spy's mother.
146: Have theme music. Bring a small cd player and play your theme music whenever appropriate.
Just for fun have your theme music be Invasion of the Gabber Robots by The Laziest Men on Mars.
All your base are belong to us! :P
287: Claim that you should get extra XP for peeing into an empty Mellow Yellow bottle instead of leaving the table because "that's some hardcore commitment"
648: Do this just after someone drinks from a Mellow Yellow bottle (filled with the original drink).
649: Suddenly shout at any dog or dog-like NPC, "Inuyasha, sit!" (Okay, that was dumb...).
650: Suddenly shout at any dog or dog-like NPC, "MEOW!" (...even dumber...).
651: Buy lots of chalk, and have your PC write "(PC's Name) Wuz Hear" on any solid walls.
652: As above, except use YOUR name instead.
653: As 651, but carve into trees with a dagger instead of chalk.
654: As 653, but with 652 variant.
655: Two words: Kingdom Genocide.
656: Play a half-orc with high charisma, then attempt to talk to the hostile elves about how unfair your imprisonment is just because you have some orc blood in your veins. Then create a sob story about how when you were little, elves murdered your mother (the player's, not the character's) just because she was an orc and she was only protecting you (this time the character). Bound to get some weird looks from other players, DM, or NPC elves. Use this as a Diplomacy check and actually succeed at improving their manner towards you by two or more levels (not necessarily with the same roll, but that might be funny).
657: As above, but with low charisma.
658: Take the feat Toughness at every level...as a (human) barbarian with 18 con. Level up only con every 4 levels.
659: Play a rogue who earns a living by lawfully testing security systems. Do this and never actually adventure.
660: Drop your head on the pizza, pretending to be asleep.
661: Record how many actions you have made in the entire game. On the 666th, automatically cast a summoning spell and summon a demon.
662: Ask your DM every time your character wakes up if it's Friday the 13th in the game world.
663: If he actually says yes, have your character suddenly yell to the sky, "I don't wanna die a virgin, (PC's worshipped god here), so send me a harem!" Works particularly well if your character worships an evil god and the other PCs didn't know, or if your character is female.
664: Every time you enter a new town, ask a random passerby where the *****house is.
665: Slay the paladin, saying that he had gone CE because you caught him randomly and evilly walking up to a dead treant and take a dump on it. Attempt to do this in a Zone of Truth.
666: Randomly yell, "HOLY SH!T-KABOBS!" Ex:
DM: There's a child here, and he seems to be lost.
PC: HOLY SH!T-KABOBS!
*
PC1: I miss the goblin by a mile.
PC2: HOLY SH!T-KABOBS!
668: Combine with 667, Call them Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. And as a sound component, make lots of squishy noises and say "Oww, that must hurt" and "THAT DOESN'T FIT THERE."
669: Use 668 on a Chimaera with an actual name and Int score.
Whoever can decipher this clever puzzle and tell me where I got the Spiked Tentacles get a baker's dozen of
's.x13! DUH DUH DUH!!! *Crappy Zelda Noise for getting a key or something*convention
ask if you can have the skill don't care
GM:you see a bunch of zombies running down the street followed by a dragon
PC: I make roll for don't care. I got a 20
GM: okay you go back to your slurppee
#673: Deny everything. Act like everyone ELSE is crazy. If you run out of ideas, just say "No." to everything.
*PC has stolen armor after zapping all the armors in the armory to see which one appeared to offer the best protection. The black one appeared to have no scorch marks (it being already black), so...*
NPC: What are you doing with (name of other NPC, which is written on the back of the armor)'s armor?
PC: I don't know what you're talking about.
NPC: Your voice is muffled because the armor is so big your mouth is below the neck hole.
PC: It's my armor.
NPC: No it isn't, it's way too big for you.
PC: No.
NPC: What?
PC: No.
NPC: That doesn't make any--
PC: No.
#674: Above, but have mystic powers too so you can zap or just inflict pain on any characters who bug you, and then run away.
#675: Out of power points/spells? Curl up and go to sleep on the spot. Argue that you regain your points/spells faster because it's 'hypersleep'.
#676: Insist that rather than a sorcerer or mage you are a "Sorcerologist".
--
These all actually happened, although it was in a modified RIFTS game (RIFTS setting, GM's game mechanics). Had an insane psionics-user... he provided comedy throughout the campaign. I was the "Sorcerologist" although I was never very clear on what I meant, and didn't RP much... (Not very experienced at tabletop roleplaying yet).
Sorcerologist class (or prestige class) coming soon! Anyone who knows where I got the term from gets a
.303) Whenever under attack from an unknown assailant, always remember to shout "what is it?!, space cow?!." (a cookie for the first person who gets the referance)
spyro 3
final fantasy 4
163: Play an expert (spellcraft, languages, geography, etc.), but call yourself a wizard (despite not being able to cast a single spell), write the word "wizzard" on your hat, and run away from all danger (take feats that enhance your ability to run away).
Anybody want to identify that one for a
Was it that character from Discworld, what's-his-name, uh, Ritzwind I think it was, I know it started with an r, and ended in wind or something synonymous with wind.
Was it that character from Discworld, what's-his-name, uh, Ritzwind I think it was, I know it started with an r, and ended in wind or something synonymous with wind.
name was Rincewind.
but he was only average at spellcraft,
not very good in geography,
and only believed that you can talk to everyone if you speak loud 'n slowly.
also he was able to cast that one spell, one time only.
so the only thing that matches is that he was good at running away, and the "wizzard" thing...
keep searching ;)
EDIT:
The questione was answered 2 posts later(81)... it really was Rincewind...
#676: Insist that rather than a sorcerer or mage you are a "Sorcerologist".
--
[...]
Sorcerologist class (or prestige class) coming soon! Anyone who knows where I got the term from gets a
Guile vs. Tessa:
TESSA: Oh, I get it! A sonic-speed punch... And that makes the shockwave.
Elementary.
GUILE: Who are you?
TESSA: Just a sorcerologist! I wish to speak with you more? Can you spare me the
time?
GUILE: Sorcerologist...? Never heard of it, but I'll tell you no secrets.
TESSA: Is that so? Then I'd like to test you out in battle.
GUILE: H-hey!
Taken from SvCC (SNK vs Capcom: Chaos).
Think it's Fatal Fury vs Street Fighter... so it's a Beat em Up.
Was released in 2003.
Correct?
#676: Insist that rather than a sorcerer or mage you are a "Sorcerologist".
I'm currently about to play a 7ft tall stilt (see Construct: Mechanus, it's a construct race) with the "psionic rogue" class released on the WotC D&D site, who has a scythe for a right arm (name of Hedge, but that's another story in itself). I'm sooooo going to make him learn "sorcerology".
See, he has intelligence 18, but he's 2 years old, and has absolutely no concept of how magic works - and he's a magical construct who uses psionics, so you can see how that would make things fun.
If your DM's girlfriend plays, have your character hit on her incessantly...especially if about to hit the hay at an inn.
#681
Ask if you can have a Seppuku feat for every character you make. The first time that character fails a roll, have them immediately use Seppuku, then take a half an hour to choose a class for your new character. Insist, of course, that the rest of the players must wait for you, in ABSOLUTE SILENCE, no less, so that you can focus on making the best new character possible. Get Seppuku again. Rinse, repeat.
#682
Bring math homework to the game. When it's your round in combat, sit hunched over your fancy-schmancy graphing calculator and keep uttering "just a second" as you furiously type away. See how long it takes them to realize you're playing Tetris.
#683
Bring extra graph paper to a game. Before a character makes any decisions, graph out every possible action they could make.
Examples:
In combat -
Player One: ...Should I cast Magic Missile, or shoot my crossbow?
Player Two: *holds up graph* ...Well, according to graph A, assuming of course that his AC is above 17, you'll see that Magic Missile will work far, far better.
Adventuring -
Player One: Is that barmaid looking at me?
Player Two: *holds up another graph* Yeah...with your charisma score there's a 67% chance that you can score with her tonight, and only a 1% chance she has a VD. Go for it.
#684
Find out if your DM goes to any boards for advice. Lurk at that board and take notes on everything he says.
DM: The slender, black-clad half elf raises his glowing hands and...
Player: Ah, it's Beorhoff, isn't it. Don't worry, guys, he's got an AC of 12.
Example:
DM: It looks like a pretty tough door. You probably can't hack through it.
PC: I'll hack though your mom then.
DM: Please, try not to talk about off game stuff.
PC: Ooooh...Why don't you go talk stuff off your mom!!
DM: Seriously, stop.
PC: Ooh...You can't telll your mom to stop!!!
690: Insist you deserve a +50 bonus to everything because you went to get the last round of sodas
691: Base your character really blatently on a fictional character, but just change a few letters in the name. Act insulted if anyone mentions the resemblance.
692: Be a wizard. Get fireball. Use it as a close combat weapon.
693: Insist on roleplaying your character all the time in the game. Your character is, of course, obnoxious, drunk and loud.
695: Like 694, but on your eyes. From now on, speak in a dark voice and claim you're a god.
695: Like 694, but on your eyes. From now on, speak in a dark voice and claim you're a god.
Goa'uld from Stargate ... just in case this was a cookie question...
697: After the party makes a group decision about what to do next, respond with "make it so."
698: Everytime your charachter walk into an tavern go up to the bartender and say "Tea, Earl grey, Hot"
699: Play a wizard, have his familiar be a quassit named "Bugchaser" who is modeled after GIR from Invader Zim (we actually have this).
700: Model your charachter after Johnny Depp from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. "We cant stop here, this is bat country"
Goa'uld from Stargate ... just in case this was a cookie question...
It wasn't, but you get one anyway:
702) Insist on walking every where, then complain about it taking forever to get anywhere.
703) Nude D&D Night. shudders
**groan** "So you HAVE been stealing my Cheetos!"
65) Say that the goblins the DM throws at you should roll a will save to see whether or not they flee from your naked Barbarian PC.
705)Demand that there should be a mechanic for Barbarians gaining frightful presence if the rage while running, at full tilt, down a hill, naked and painted blue, screaming at the top of their lungs.
163: Play an expert (spellcraft, languages, geography, etc.), but call yourself a wizard (despite not being able to cast a single spell), write the word "wizzard" on your hat, and run away from all danger (take feats that enhance your ability to run away).
Anybody want to identify that one for a
I don't know if anyone's identified it yet, but is it Presto from the DnD cartoon?
Actually, thats Ixidor from Magic: the gathering.. anyway
221. Play an insane mage.
706)play a drug addled mage who believes his spells are tied to drugs.
*player 1: Cast fireball!
*DAM: I need a smoke!
706)play a drug addled mage who believes his spells are tied to drugs.
*player 1: Cast fireball!
*DAM: I need a smoke!
Next new charactor I make will be a wizzard who does this.
Look for a sturdy rock
Cast magic aura on it
arcane mark it in several languages lableing it "Tog, God of Rocks"
Cast Ghost sound, mage hand, dancing lights, and other fun spells on it to make it look neat.
Now you can mage hand it to bounce around in hallways and activate all the traps and **** off rouges. If some goblins or something see it then use ghost sound to make Tog say "OBEY ME FOR I AM GOD OF ROCKS!" or something. If they dont, smack them with the rock! See if you can start a rock cult. And get the other PCs to join. Try to get it a Divine Rank!
Or when you get bored of your trap finding, enemy smacking, rock god, put some exploding runes on it!! "A floating rock with writing? Whats it *BOOM!*"
And have your mage call the rock his second familiar. And if the rock dies, have your PC go into mourning. And then try to find a "Masterwork Rock" or a lump of adamantium and call it "Togthulhu".
**groan** "So you HAVE been stealing my Cheetos!"
When I can.
619) Contradict the DM on everythingp in game:
"The orc attacks"
"No he doesn't"
"Yes, he charges you"
"No"
"Look, I am the DM"
"Naaaah, you're wrong!"
I have a player who does that(not constantly though, we'll have, like, that exact same conversation, fortunately he only does it maybe once a campaign)
709)make a character with a personal motto of "Life is full of choices, sometimes you make the right ones, sometimes you have to kill all the witnesses" and acts upon it. (thanks trappedslidder and ThorvaldHafgrimsson)
638: Again, if your DM messes up, ask him if his mind is full of naughty pictures of Ashlee Simpson.
the answer that would come from most of my friends: *very calm, frank expression on face*"(deadpan)yes."
711: As 661, but as a non-spellcaster.
712: Shout "FIR3!" every time you cast a fireball.
713: Insist that your character be a vorpal bunny. (
for any1 who gets the reference)714: Say something about dueling banjos whenever someone (PC, NPC, BBEG) says something stupid or messes up somehow.
715: Play Bucky Katt from Get Fuzzy. Roleplay him perfectly. (If you don't get killed by the other players or the DM, you're d*** lucky.)
716: Speak in latin (not as annoying if you use it for your spells - that would just add realism) - not just as the player, but the character too. Get angry when no one understands what in the Nine Hells of Baator you're saying.
717: Insist you get a "Fart at Will" feat. Use it in the middle of any major conversation. Any and EVERY major conversation.
718: Suddenly shout "Uh-ohhhhh!" (
for any1 who gets the reference)719: Shoot your crossbow into the air suddenly. Anywhere. Bar, dungeon, dragon's stomach, hiding in a grating underneath a balor...just fire it.
720: Get battle music from an RPG (FF, Chrono Trigger, anything...) and play it every time you get in a fight.
721: When using Intimidate, always say "Do what I tell you, or I'll cut your balls off." Do it in as British a voice as possible. (
for reference again.)722: Play music on your headphones really loud. Ignore anyone who talks to you. If they take away your music, pitch a hissy fit.
723: Call any drow you see a Negro. (they're black, after all...no offense to any colored people out there
)724: Whenever you get captured, **** on the bars of your cell, saying that the acid in it will slowly dissolve the bars.
725: Assume anything cute is Chaotic Evil.
726: As 725, but as a paladin.
727: As 725, but as a blackguard. Try to make friends with it so it'll serve in your army.
728: Loot the corpse of anyone for anything. EX:
DM: You see a looted gnoll...
You: I loot him!
DM: All that's left is his body. Nothing else.
You: I'll take his body with me!
729: Play a necromancer in a party w/ a paladin.
730: Play a bard, and randomly sing your (the player's) favorite songs, playing them on your instrument as well.
731: Shoot anyone who isn't immediately friendly to you in the crotch with your crossbow.
732: As 731, but with a bow.
733: As 731, but stab them.
734: Play a druid with a tiger animal companion. Name him Hobbes. Insist he pounces friendlily on anyone who enters the home base. Bonus points if someone in the party is named Calvin, and he's the one that always gets pounced. Even more bonus points if YOUR name is Calvin, and the above applies.
735: Shoot any and all messengers, even if they aren't delivering a message to you. Insist that the saying never made sense to your character.
736: Play a fighter w/ a Will save of -1. Call him Kain. (
again.)737: Insist on playing a female weresquirrel who likes running around butt-naked and hates fighting. When she does fight, nothing evil is safe - nothing. (Again,
for reference.)738: Yell "Bite me!" at a werewolf.
739: As 738, but to a vampire.
740: Show the thread to your DM and say that you'll do everything on the list, randomly, in no particular order.
741: Go up to a dragon and hug it.
742: Say "yummy" all the time. EX:
DM: You see a dead balor.
You: Yummy.
743: Play a wizard. Insist you can overcome the need for a spellbook and use it as a thrown weapon.
Note: A friend from my school does 742, and I don't mean in D&D. It really p!$$e$ me off.
And now...
744- Give all your attacks some pizzazz. Add all these nauseating titles to your attacks. Instead of Great Cleave, call it "The Serpent Strike of a Thousand Deaths"
745- Refer to all the halflings in your party as "widdle squeaky"
746- If you're a good aligned cleric...(But there's a twist!)...instead of repeated alignment violations, take it too an extreme. Proselytize to every single person you meet, including the evil aligned drow torturing your rogue. Convince yourself that no creature is beyond redemption and make an nonstop effort to integrate horrific monsters into everyday society
747- Sacrife to your gods. Your GOOD aligned gods. Eviscerate a squirrel and offer it to Lathander. Inscribe its heart with a sunburst symbol and wear it as a talisman.
748- Be insanely paranoid. Have your character only sleep for fifteen minutes a day, and spend every other waking moment watching the NPC characters, waiting for them to doublecross you.
749- Hit on all the female drow you meet. Sure, they *literally* eat their males for breakfast, but surely your charms would woo her in the end. 'Sides, they're hot! :D
750- (WOOP WOOP! LANDMARK POST) Become a necromancer, and hack off your arm, replacing it with a skeletal graft. No matter what, that makes you a badass. Poke small children with it, scarring them for life. Damage any diplomacy roll by waving it in front of any NPC's face, screaming, "You want some of this! Huh?" Use it to threaten the NPC's from 748, ensuring that they will never *think* of going against you at that point :D
737: Insist on playing a female weresquirrel who likes running around butt-naked and hates fighting. When she does fight, nothing evil is safe - nothing. (Again,
That's Grace from "El Goonish Shive".
Cookies, Yay! :D
713: Insist that your character be a vorpal bunny. (
718: Suddenly shout "Uh-ohhhhh!" (
OK, 713 I'm going to guess is Monte Python and the Holy Grail.
& 718, I am not sure but I think that is Family Guy.
752: As above, but actually eat the NPC. Bite of the King from Libris Mortis or my Snakewalker PrC(with the Gape of the Serpent feat from Serpent Kingdoms) are ideal for this.
713: Insist that your character be a vorpal bunny. (
715: Play Bucky Katt from Get Fuzzy. Roleplay him perfectly. (If you don't get killed by the other players or the DM, you're d*** lucky.)
721: When using Intimidate, always say "Do what I tell you, or I'll cut your balls off." Do it in as British a voice as possible. (
737: Insist on playing a female weresquirrel who likes running around butt-naked and hates fighting. When she does fight, nothing evil is safe - nothing. (Again,
713:Ultima Online
715:doable with the new catfolk stats in Races of Nature
721:Life of Brian?
737:Minerva from Animaniacs?
754-Call dibs on everything else! You see that forest? It's yours now, you called dibs on it. Is that the sun rising in the east? Call dibs the moment it rises.
755-Restrict the other character's use on any object you called dibs on. I.E. if you callled dibs on the sun, insist that the rays must not directly touch them, as it is *YOUR* sun
756-Scream at them loudly if they do not comply
757-Scream out at the top of your lungs in any town square an official proclomation of your ownership of the sun.
758-Then insist that all characters and npcs must pay a "sun tax"
759-Pick fights with clerics of Lathandar or any other miscellaneous sun god, over said sun
760-Insist on playing the only evil character in an all good aligned group
761-If the good aligned pcs from 759 ever forbid you from sacrificing sentient or non-hostile creatures, thats no problem. Simply compromise by killing small animals and hostile NPCs. But do it this way.
ex. Cleric of Talos getting food
PC1: We need some food, go fishing
EvilPC, OOC: I get out my rod an go fishing
On every successful catch, scream "TAAAAAAALLLLLOOOOOOSSSSS!"
762- Use this in every single situation where killing a monster or foraging for food is needed.
763-Insist that plants *are* living creatures and therefore valid. Shout "TAAAAALLLLOOOOOSSSSSS" whenever you walk on grass, break a twig, whatever. (especially good in stealth situations)
764-Scream "TAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOSSSSS!" After every successful attack (also good when stealth is needed)
765-When swatting flies with a fly swatter in real life while playing a game, scream TAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLOOOOOOOOOSSSS!" whenever you swat at a fly.
*Hint* If you have a different diety, simply shout your respective god's name
766-Play a half-orc, and insist on having a diety that is specific only for elves, I.E. Correlon Larethien. Satiate your merciless elven master the only way you know how: with Virgin's Blood, Baby unicorns, etc. Also good with 747
767-Whenever the DM protests that you're violating your alignment through 766, go into a philosophical debate. State that your pc lived in a harsh, cruel land, and has yet to learn the proper manner of worshipping a benevolent diety. Insist that you are roleplaying perfectly.
768-Have the DM cave in and give you a quest to redeem your half-orc and teach him the proper way to worship a benevolent god. Complain that the quest is shoddy and poorly improvised all the while.
769-Fail at quest miserably (at this point the DM will slam his head on the table)
770-Play a psionicist. Read every random townsperson's mind. Complain that the DM isn't going into enough detail.
771-For those of you who have seen Harvey Birdman, wave your hands and go "OOOEEEOEEEOOEEE" like Mentot every time you use psionic abilities
772-Always use a British accent whenever you speak. State that you are "only roleplaying"
773-Play an impossible hybrid, to the point where you're the only one of your species. Then become a racist. DND is great because you can discriminate against fictional creatures. Call all beholders "blinky", elves are "stinkin' long ears", dwarves are "filthy long beards", dragons are "scalies", to the point where humans are "Jacks of all trades incompetent in every single one of them" (silly BM)
774-Cross class as much as possible, crippling the effectiveness of your character and giving you a massive XP penalty. Be a lawful good monk/paladin/rogue/wizard/sorceror/cleric/fighter.
775-Always ask if you can play as a ninja, regardless of the setting. Never settle for being a rogue, demand that you are a ninja. When asked "Why?" play with a miniature for your character and go "Schwing Schwing."
776-Claim that you are an agnostic priest, and therefore have access to all the domains.
777 (lucky jackpot!)- Use baby talk whenever you speak. Use it both in character and out of character. Use it on characters infinitely older than yourself, such as a dragon or an elf.
Example: The party is speaking to a collasal gold wyrm
DM-Dragon: "What is it you have need of me, small ones?"
Annoying PC: "Awen't you just the cutest widdle dwagon."
DM OOC: "For god's sake, stop it!"
Now croon to the DM, going "Agoo-goo-boo-boo! Agoo-goo-boo-boo!"
778) Never allow anyone to kill anything, not even your own teammates. If forced into killing, have an emotional breakdown where you spend the next several days locked in your room at the inn and ocasionally let out a long agonizing screem.
Kshade, you got the Weresquirrel reference - El Goonish Shive. (Webcomic)
Ameture Expert, you got both the Uh-oh! reference and the Vorpal Bunny reference - respectively, Family Guy (Adult Cartoon) and Monty Python & the Holy Grail.
Prak the Mad: I never heard of Ultima Online, sorry. And I don't remember Minerva (but it's been a while since I've seen an episode...like, 4+ years). But, you got the Cut your balls off reference - Monty Python's Life of Brian.
Oh, and Ameture, I don't get what anime that's from...can you give us a title?
)779)insist on playing a ninja pirate(or if your dm says that they can exist, and constantly gets into arguments saying they could, play a pirate or ninja with levels of ranger and favored enemy the other)
Oh, and Ameture, I don't get what anime that's from...can you give us a title?
Other Anime may exist with charactors that are simillar, if not compleatly identical, but I based my comment off of the main charactor of "Trigun."
781: Play a Magus clone (Chrono Trigger; he's an anti-hero, angsty, mean black-mage kinda guy, and I think he might also be a vampire. What else has gray skin?).
782: Bring your dog to the game. Make sure every few minutes he goes over to get some attention (preferrably while the DM is writing something important down).
My dog gave me the idea for that one...I'm writing, typing, anything, and he comes over and shoves his nose in the crook of my arm. It never fails.
This can get seriously annoying as nothing will ever happen!
Bunky's Oral Hygiene of Celestia
Bunky's Unholy Hangover
Bunky's Cheese Storm
Bunky's Speak With Table
:P
787)yodel
788) Make your charicter the weakist of them all...and keep making more like him. The DM will shot you...with a hammer
789)Kill your self by doing stupid things (i.e jump of a building, try to stab your self)
790) make a charicter like john contantine(sp?) and try and make you DM give you a cross gun
791) make your charicter fart in the game and then tell ever one that they should make a Fort save or die.
792) throw dice up in the air and catch them again while the DM is telling you about is uber-NPC.
793) do 792 and try to throw them a little to the DMs side and if the dice hits him in the head say: "were did my dice go?".
794) do 792 and try to hit all the players.
795) Spend 6 days reading this thread instead of playing his game (oops has it really been 6 days :P )
796) If the DM says that you cant go that way because their is something their or the like, say "
you a am going anyway" even if it gets you killed. 797) chew on you PCs sheet
798) put the dice in you mouth and then spit them in the air and watch the chaos as tons of slimy dice fall on every one :evillaugh
799) Take ranks in the proffesion (breakdance) skill and use it on enemys :D
800) post the 800th number on this thread :D
801) pick your nose then scratch you butt and the touch the DMs books or dice.
802) use your PCs mini sword to pick your nose
803) make a dice stack then blow on it (did it :D)
804) Play a mad mage that has to blow up every thing...Even the clerical temple! (did it too)
805) hic-up in the most bloodeist battle.
806)just burst out laughing in a bad time
paladin: it is so sad that my brother died
other PC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahaha ha ha ha...oh i made my self sad
(a for who ever knows were that line came from)i am out :P...sooo sleepy from reading thread for 6 days...so..sleep..y..zzzzzz
754-Call dibs on everything else! You see that forest? It's yours now, you called dibs on it. Is that the sun rising in the east? Call dibs the moment it rises.
755-Restrict the other character's use on any object you called dibs on. I.E. if you callled dibs on the sun, insist that the rays must not directly touch them, as it is *YOUR* sun
756-Scream at them loudly if they do not comply
757-Scream out at the top of your lungs in any town square an official proclomation of your ownership of the sun.
758-Then insist that all characters and npcs must pay a "sun tax"
759-Pick fights with clerics of Lathandar or any other miscellaneous sun god, over said sun
760-Insist on playing the only evil character in an all good aligned group
761-If the good aligned pcs from 759 ever forbid you from sacrificing sentient or non-hostile creatures, thats no problem. Simply compromise by killing small animals and hostile NPCs. But do it this way.
ex. Cleric of Talos getting food
PC1: We need some food, go fishing
EvilPC, OOC: I get out my rod an go fishing
On every successful catch, scream "TAAAAAAALLLLLOOOOOOSSSSS!"
762- Use this in every single situation where killing a monster or foraging for food is needed.
763-Insist that plants *are* living creatures and therefore valid. Shout "TAAAAALLLLOOOOOSSSSSS" whenever you walk on grass, break a twig, whatever. (especially good in stealth situations)
764-Scream "TAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOSSSSS!" After every successful attack (also good when stealth is needed)
765-When swatting flies with a fly swatter in real life while playing a game, scream TAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLOOOOOOOOOSSSS!" whenever you swat at a fly.
roflmfao!!!
:heehee :heehee That is extremly funny. I am going to test this out 771-For those of you who have seen Harvey Birdman, wave your hands and go "OOOEEEOEEEOOEEE" like Mentot every time you use psionic abilities
IT IS mentak, the mind taker!! oeeeoeeooe :P I do that all the time with my wizard lol
809) eat a Tacobell bean bareto(sp?)
(It will give you diarrhea badly :D)810) Sniff and blow your nose a ton. (my DM gave me a -2 to all Fort saves for the rest of that adventure :P)
811) When your bard sings a song make it a modern one (Just think of a medieval bard singing AC/DC ;) )
MUST GET TO 1000!!!
813) Demand a machine gun
814) Demand to play as the Grim Reaper (I've done this)
816)go and kill as many clerics as you can find before the gods strike you down(i managed to **** off pelor and st.cuthbert before i got blown to bits)
817)go to the washroom every 30 minutes and immediately come back out to annoy EVERYONE
819: read masters of arms, use 3fold strike with a keen glaive
player:lets see 15damage, plus 4 for strength, and +1 for being a lv4 glaive master ,x5 for 3fold-strike, so thats...100 damage, oh critical hit thats means its 300. Do we use the massive damage rule?
dm: :surrender
(this is possible at lv 9, dms beware and dont use master of arms)
My DM wants to kill me.
822) Go out of your way to be his bestest buddy then let the air out of his tires during a break in the action while you go "potty"
823) Wear a shirt that says, "The DM is my tool!" when you game
824) Tell all the players that, "the DM said he doesn't like you, that's why he gives me all the non-cursed magical items." while the DM is in the John. Wink and smile at him when he returns.
625) Every time a stranger walks up to you and your group at the bar and declares he has a job for you, jump up and shout "I'm on to you, creep!" and proceed to punch them in the stomach. Insist they have to roll a concentration check to maintain their facade.
626) Announce to the DM you are starting your own guild, do nothing to actually start a guild but harrass members of actual guilds any chance you get...untill of corse the DM kills you off with a strike force from the Mage,Theives, and/or Fighters guild.
627) After doing #626, make your new character also harrass guild members for no reason at all.
625) Every
828) Start re-numbering entires for no appearant reason. :D
828) Start re-numbering entires for no appearant reason. :D
I have no idea how I did that, I'm usually more careful about that sort of thing.
825.) When playing a first-level D&D character, do something your character can only do in Modern. Ex:
DM: The Kobolds are coming, their battlemage is conjuring arcane death on your platemail brothers, what do you do?
PC (first-level rogue): I ready my Uzi!
826.) When playing as a first level Modern character, do something your character cannot do in a regular game.
Ex: PC: I cast magic missle at that bank robber.
827.) Get your players to believe the game is supposed to be serious, then whip out something like the Calzone Golem or the Donut Army. (I am so itching to do something like that.
)829) As a Druid, insist on wildshaping into really obscure animals from the most obscure RPG NOW books you can find. Don't bring the books with you.
830) Have your character sing everything he says like Rob Dougan. If he is a spellcaster use prestigdation to create moody background music to your speech. Create an entire song about your misery of spilling your ale.
831) Have your Warforged Bard invent techno. Insist on wearing sunglasses and wearing a long leather coat. Carries a keyboard on his back and when engaged in combat calmy sets its up and turns it on. Just stand there with your arms proudly crossed with a blank look on your face, occasionally pressing another button with your right index finger. After a while mix things up a bit by looking slowly to the left, then slowly to right, then slowly straight ahead. Start bopping your head... He would be the greatest Eberron character ever...
832) Play an Erodaemon. It would be like playing a Sucubbus only it hjas a far greater potential to be more annoying and pervy.
833) Everytime you come across a familiar NPC/BBEG always say 'Whos this guy?'.
834) ... even if she happens to be a girl.
835) ... and the characters wife.
836) Become well-versed in the art of necromancy, then but all of your knowledge into creating completly stupid undead creatures. Give them the ability to create spawn and watch in glee as your DM's world becomes populated by 'Feet-In-Mouth Zombies' or 'Wooly Skeletons'.
837) If you are an enchanter command every creature come across to sing n' dance, no matter who or what your facing and no matter how important the battle. Get that Goblin to moonwalk whilst singing 'But the kid just ain't my style, CHAMONE', get that Mind Flayer to tap dance and sing 'When i'm cleanin' windows', and get that Red Dragon to start breakdancing whilst MCing 'EverybodyjumppressureondafloornowfeelthepulsejumptodafloornowfeelthedropbassdropasthepresshadropsBASHMENT*OHHHHHHH!!!!'
838) Make your character a deific satirist cartoonist. Draw really harshly critical (ie hilarious) images of the DMs deities in less than flatering positions, like carving up the world as though it were plum pudding.
839) Insist on playing a barbaric Orcish version of Santa. Insist on having a dire rudolf for a mount, rule over a tribe of elf+gnome hybrids, and a wooly suit trousers and hat made red from the blood of your opponents. That essentially includes anyone and anything who isn't a kid.
"YOU WILL ALL FEEL THE WRATH SHANTRHA CKRAWS'Z... ecxept you nice kids, heres a gift each"
"YAY! A BEHOLDER TEDDY!"
840) On a related note have a character who creates cutesy teddy versions of every monster/race they come across. Try to sell them to anyone and anything you come across. To really annoy make a sucessful diplomacy check with the Vrock/Balor/Succubus you were supposed to be fighting. Instead the DM has to play out the demonic party going 'awwww' at the particulary popular range of plushy archons and guardinals.
841) Have your character believe he can summon small but powerful monsters from a tiny red + white ball.
"PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"
*Ball bounces of ogres chest and lands on the floor. Ogre looks at the ball, then looks up blankly at you...
842) Be a Wizard and craft a group of 4 constructs, train them play an instrument each and then form a Kaiser Chiefs tribute band... :D
831) Have your Warforged Bard invent techno. Insist on wearing sunglasses and wearing a long leather coat. Carries a keyboard on his back and when engaged in combat calmy sets its up and turns it on. Just stand there with your arms proudly crossed with a blank look on your face, occasionally pressing another button with your right index finger. After a while mix things up a bit by looking slowly to the left, then slowly to right, then slowly straight ahead. Start bopping your head... He would be the greatest Eberron character ever...
Excuse me while I go somewhere where I can safely stop laughing.
PS: Yes, the simplest answer to this one should suffice. Mostly because it would be the one the players spend the most time figuring out. ;)
and tragedy didn't number post #379
Current number is 848
the next number is 849. 849 shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be 849...
This has been a public service of your local post numbering nazi..Thank You. :D
850. Multiple Personality Disorder. Create a large number of characters to use. They all must be of the same race and physical description. All of them should (perferrably) be of different classes, stats, and personalities. Number them. Roll to see which personality is the dominate one. Play that character as if they have no memories of anything any of the other personalities have done. Reroll for a different personality at a set interval, random intervals, or for real fun, every failed roll.
851. To be used with #850: Insist that the DM keep track of all personalities' XP seperately from each other. Each personality only gets XP for things that occurred when that personality was active.
852. To be used with #851: Don't tell the DM when you switch personalities, or which personality you switched to.
853. Play a narcoleptic.
854. Play a warrior/barbarian with a phobia of bladed weapons. Have him run screaming like a little girl whenever he sees a drawn blade. Include knives at dinnertime.
855. Instead of playing a version of the DM, play a version of yourself. Only make the character homosexual (or hetero, if you're already homosexual). Keep saying how you always wanted to see what "the good life" was like.
856. Play a character with severe allergies relating to their field of expertise: A rogue with an allergy to gold, a ranger allergic to animals, a fighter allergic to steel. Act out those allergies so everyone can see how debilitating they are.
857. Refuse to listen to any room descriptions the DM gives.
Ex:
DM: You enter an empty room. The only exit is the door you came from.
You: I sit down at a table and order an ale.
DM: Umm..the room's empty. There are no tables, and no-one to take your order.
You: Oh, then I leave through the door across the room.
DM: There's only one door, the one you came in.
You: Oh, then I sit down at a table and order an ale.
858. Be analretentive about everything.
Ex:
DM: You enter an empty room. The only exit is the door you came from.
You: It's an empty room?
DM: Yes. Completely empty.
You: Then where am I?
DM: In the room.
You: Then it's not completely empty is it?
DM: Ok, besides yourself, the room's empty.
You: Where's my sword?
DM: On you.
You: That's not what you just said.
DM:
:surrender-Phredd, who just made his first post.
Current number is 848
the next number is 849. 849 shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be 849...
This has been a public service of your local post numbering nazi..Thank You. :D
859-act as if your character is in a Monty Python scketch
861) play a Druid that is either Afraid of Forests/plants, hates them, or loves them so much that he has to carry 12 potted plants with him and always have 1 in each hand.
Ah, "Order of the Stick," good times.
every time some one moves yell attack of oppurtunity
Christ, I did that once. Not popular.
866) As the DM is describing a NPC of the opposite sex, say "I go up to him/her and grab them by the shoulder. What's the roll for a **** check?"
867) As 866, but either sex.
Actually had a character do this for a bit. Until I threw the MM at him.
"I spend my reward on Ale and *****s"
871: Resisting all of a baslisk's petrifaction attemps at level 2
872: DM makes a NPC with long backstory and players fail to save him or kill him them selves
873: When the players kills a reacurring villan in the first encounter (anyone get refernce)
874: Players steal all DMs books
875: When players point out mistakes the DM has made
876: When the players refuse to touch the cursed object that the DM very carefully placed in a dungeon
877: Whenever the players make a scimitar duel wielding CG Drow Ranger, then think its original
878: Whenever the players object to the DM using rule 0
879: Whenever the player roleplays eating or drinking or various other bodily functions
880: When the players complain about the encounters being to hard
881 (sorry if it's been done; been a while since i read this thread). Make constant jokes about every line they say when they try to set a dramatic mood.
873: When the players kills a reacurring villan in the first encounter (anyone get refernce)
Ooo! I know. It's every campaign I've ever played! Or luffy316 beat me to it with Order of the Stick.
And kids try this:
883) Explain each of your feats, special abilities, and skills as the books do when you use them for the first time during the session.
873: When the players kills a reacurring villan in the first encounter (anyone get refernce)
Yes, and the sword of Ogre-decapitation is such a crappy weapon. I'll take my plasma rifle thank you. :D
884) Actively try to overthrow the Red Dragon Emporer (for all you dragonstar fans out there.)
#?) any time you fall into one insist that the chainsaw pit trap is unrealistic and should have run out of feul by now
people other than me have dragonstar yea
#885?) any time you fall into one insist that the chainsaw pit trap is unrealistic and should have run out of fuel by now
Even if the chainsaw trap is out of gas, it still will hurt from falling on something meant to cut you.
#886) In a Star Law campaign, play a criminal hidden among the space cops. Not a reformed criminal, a career criminal.
889) Play a character who uses his spare time to screw with cleric's heads. Have him de-convert them from their faith. Especially when he knows that faith to be perfectly real.
Cookie for anyone who gets either reference.
887) Play a character who's main motivation is to destroy the basis of modern living. Have him debate with NPC's in the pub about the way they live their lives ("Do we really need to know what a douvé is? Is it important for our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word?").
889) Play a character who uses his spare time to screw with cleric's heads. Have him de-convert them from their faith. Especially when he knows that faith to be perfectly real.
Cookie for anyone who gets either reference.
Sounds like a well-roleplayed druid or cleric of an opposed faith, respectively. As a DM, I would brake into smiles and showtunes if my players did this.
883) Explain each of your feats, special abilities, and skills as the books do when you use them for the first time during the session.
What, you makin' fun of anime or something? It sounds kinda like an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh!.
O_O I just got an idea!
888 (prev. guy missed it) : As 883, but do this IN CHARACTER. Bonus points if your char's name comes from YGO.
What, you makin' fun of anime or something? It sounds kinda like an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh!.
Wow, and I wasn't even giving out cookies. In the series it makes sence, as it gives new veiwers a heads up. But, when it is the same group and DM over and over it could get old and agravaiting fast.
By the way:
890. Build up a heavy bluff check and only use it at times and situations where deception would not (realisticly) be posible.
Example: You urinate on a gaurds boots, while he's wearing them. If and when asked "what do you think your doing!" replie with "nothing," or "not peeing on your boots."
893) When you kill something get up and dance
894) Play a cleric that trys all the time to get PCs to fallow his god (did it)
895) Use divine metamagic
889) Play a character who uses his spare time to screw with cleric's heads. Have him de-convert them from their faith. Especially when he knows that faith to be perfectly real.
Cookie for anyone who gets either reference.
This is from the movie Dogma.
899) Come to the session drunk, proceed to do exceptional and constantly get uncanny rolls.
900) When dealing with a DM who enjoys killing off playing charactors, play a charactor who just won't die and is always getting every one else out of trouble.
902) Refuse to speak and communicate only with messages written on paper.
903) As with above, but sit at the OPPOSITE end of the table from the DM, make messages into planes and launch them at him.
904) When something bad happens to your character jump up from the table and yell "this is all because I wouldn't kiss you isn't it?" (Works REALLY well if both DM and Player are same sex)
905) When attacking a monster if the DM replies "you miss", say "That isn't what your boyfriend/girlfriend said last night."
906) Keeping repeating "number 9" over and over again in a monotone voice for the duration of the gaming session (thank you John Lennon)
907) When the DM makes a hard ruling yell, "Oh yeah, well the only reason you're the DM is because you're a lousey player!"
908) When the DM goes to the bathroom, put all his dice in his frosty beverage container, preferablly while it still has frosty beverage in it.
909) Come up with a witty character saying such as "go ahead punk, make my day" or "via con dios, scumbag" then use it at the most inappropriate times, like using number 2 at a state funeral for a dignitary.
910) When the DM tells you to roll to hit, save, etc., get a hurt look in your eye and yell, "No, and you can't make me!"
(Had this happen in my d20 Modern campaign. Level 2 Strong Hero was surrounded by ghouls, he botched his first attack.
Me: "You accidentally kick yourself in the Face and knock yourself prone, roll damage."
martail artist: "Does my foot travel back in time and kill Amelia Earheart?"
Me: "NO."
In the ensuing 10 rounds, these four ghouls laid only two hits on him.
I put up with Chuck Norris Facts for the rest of the night.
If it happens again, this is what's going to happen:
Me:"Suddenly, rising out of the water, is an advanced Meglodon. I hope you people have written your wills. But wait, what's this? Make listen checks. You hear Angels singing in a heavenly chorus. Make a spot check. Descending from the heavens is None but Chuck Norris! OK, Chuck Norris always goes first in combat. He tries to roundhouse kick the Megladon in the face. Chuck Norris Always Rolls Nat 20s. He also always confirms his critical hits. He hits. By the way, Chuck Norris's Roundhouse kicks are considered vorpal. Why? Because he's Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris jumps up, delivers a roundhouse kick to the face of the megladon. He kicks it so hard that it decapitates the Meglodon, and it falls to the ground, dead. You get no experience from the combat because Chuck Norris always gets ALL the Experience points Whenever he goes into combat that he is involved in whether he activley participates or not. Martial Arts guy, Chuck Norris turns to you, and says, "No more jokes, please, or you'll end up like him." and then ascends back into the heavens."
913) Hold the DM's cat hostage for XP.
914) Pee in the town well. Later ask for a cup of water and say it tastes horrible.
915) For the entire game session, stare at the DM and don't blink.
917: Faint fifteen times in a twenty-minute session, and you're an epic Svirfneblin (personal experience).
918: Faint in real life when the DM says you'll succeed (I banned that person).
210: Make a sorceror of wizard and demand that Trogdor the Burninator be your familiar
Burninating the countryside, Burninating the peoples, He even Burninates through--
COTTAGES!
Oh, yeah, TROGDOR! Trogdor! Hey, stop looking at me like that! I'm cool! I have Pizzaz!
920: Sit across from your DM, constantly batting your eyes playfully at him/her. Only works if you're the same sex as him/her.
921: If your DM has a one syllable first name, like Jim, call him something like Jim Jim Jimmy Jim Jim Jimjim Jimmy Jimmy Jimjim--------Jimmy.
922: Speak with an omnipotent point of view for the campaign. "Why do we have do this?" thought Sara." While You're playing Bob, only for excessive use.
"I spend my reward on Ale and *****s"
You must be a bard, too! My bard died falling off a 500 foot cliff, and killed the villager who I landed on.
925. Have your wizard/sorcerer research Dragon Slave.
926. Have your monk learn to perform the Kamehameha.
927. Polymorph your familiar into a Pikachu.
928. Use alternate special foci based on Yu-gi-oh or Magic cards.
929. Speak only in movie quotes.
OR
930. Refuse to recognize even the most common quotes.
931. Weapon Focus: Keyblade
932. Weapon Focus: Playing Card
934: Play a character that learns dancing in each session (in a timed session) to "improve his melee." Play a Melee-phobic wizard that carries a bow.
935: Play a drow palidan after pointing out there's no restrictions in Underdark.
936: Use dot dice.
939: Create a character with every phobia conceivable. This includes ones like: Septaphobia: fear of the number seven, and Femaphobia: fear of women.
Femaphobe characters are hilarious when a female and just disgusting when men.
You: Well, they're loaded aren't they? Shouldn't you be able to fire them?
Agravated DM: That means they always come out a specific number!
You: *chuckle* You're stupid.
Sounds like a well-roleplayed druid or cleric of an opposed faith, respectively. As a DM, I would brake into smiles and showtunes if my players did this.
They're both movie references. And no, the character (from Dogma - belated cookie for EvilPettingZoo) just turns them atheistic.
Femaphobia: fear of women
That's actually gynophobia.
My DM threatened to knock two of us down a level if we kept asking stupid questions.
951. Have a chihuahua animal companion named "Sugar Booger" with a rhinestone collar. Speak baby talk to it all the time: "Is wittle Sugar Booger hungwy? That's my wittle Sugar-kins." (also done this...) Just be prepared for either the DM or other PC's to slaughter it without mercy.
952. When going out for an adventure insist on 'travelling in style.' Have a carved carriage with several fine horses. Bring a silk pavilion with rugs, elegant furniture, tea set. Have a retinue to wait on your every whim. Treat other PC's like part of your retinue. :D (actually did this with my noble wann-be FR wzd.)
953. Insist on stopping for Tea Time regardless of whatever else is happening...travelling, combat, etc.
954. When a new players joins the group--preferably a new naive one
--hire his character to be your personal valet, then have lots of fun figuring out humiliating things for him to do.955. Critique every NPC foe and monster's sense of style. "Oh please, Szass Tam, thos decaying robes are soo last century...."
957. "Translate" quotes and references into as verbose a phrasing as possible. For example, after several 'IT'S A TRAP's, vary it a bit by saying, "Oh my! I daresay, it appears that we have allowed ourselves to be led into some sort of ambush!" or likewise, in place of the OotS reference, write on a piece of paper:
"Dear Sir or Madam: I feel obliged to inform you that on the eve of this tete-a-tete, I did find the occasion to mentally prepare a casting of a spell that creates a series of glyphs capable of detonating in a magical burst."
Helped out alot in a dragon assault.
960: Anytime the DM mentions that it's it's morning, again, in a thick accent, say "The sun is rising." This too, got me glared at.
961: Gimli accent FTW... Even if you're not a dwarf... Especially if you're not a dwarf. Again, angry stares from this.
962: Anytime someone mentions that you're late for something say "A wizard is never late." If you don't happen to be a wizard, follow up with "And that's why I'm late."
963: Every single time an elf makes a spot check, ask "(insert character's name here) what do your elf eyes see?" I get a lost of glares when I say stuff.
964: Ask for an everful pouch of Funions.
965: When the DM throws a dragon at your OBVIOUSLY too weak to handle such a battle party... Kill the dragon. I have done this on numerous occasions, and the expression on the DM's face NEVER gets old.
966: Play a bard, then proceed to beat the party's barbarian in total kills accumulated.
967: Proceed to tick the DM off, and when he brings a god down to make you pay for what you've done (and by now, you probably deserve it) survive when the god smotes you in the face. Best bragging rights, EVER! For better effect, be level five. Though, expect to die after the next hit...
968: Point out, that despite the DM's claims that he has more experience playing the game than the entire group, he constantly forgets the rules, and miss-quotes them, DESPITE holding the book that contains said rules. Just be ready for the inevitable hissy fit that follows... Yikes.
969: Insist on being able to buy 'potions of whoop-ass' and drink one before every battle.
970: Declare yourself the patron saint of ass kickery. Don't forget to provide proof of your deeds. Refer to #'s 965 and 966 for bragging rights.
971: Whenever the BBEG shows up, cast aside your biggest weapon, pull out a dagger, and proclaim that 'This should be enough for you.'
972: Proceed to kill said BBEG with dinky knife.
And still do. Clogged a f***in' porta-john once.
Take a fottlong from subway, paint it brown and splice its genetics with a brick. Monkeys can't throw it.
976. constanly read all of the rule books so that when they say "you cant do that" pull the book from undernith the stack of books that they got on the table open to (insert page ref. and paragrah) point and tell them to read.
I will bow down and call you master if you can beat my 13" long, 4" wide "de-throwner".
If the latter, post a pic. THEN the bowing will begin. Not before, just after.
But none the less, good work for attempting, even if its an inch off. I give you a prop.
Did you do that in game or in reality?
If the latter, post a pic. THEN the bowing will begin. Not before, just after.
But none the less, good work for attempting, even if its an inch off. I give you a prop.
...
"And you all thought I meant in game?
:heehee
You have yet to see "the poo hit the fan"!:evillaugh
And its not the poo that flings everywhere! Its the fan!
"Iiin this corner, weighing in at one ton, its huuuuuman feceeeees."
"Aaand in this corner, coming in from the local sweatshop industry, iiiiiiits the ceiling fan!"
*ding*
"Human feces charges to the center of the ring, and-whats this? Ceiling fan has climbed the corner! It looks like, hes attempting a body slam! Duck and cover!"
P.S. I am dead f***ing serious. I do this as my average #2. You won't like me when I'm angry. Or scared if you catch my drift.
1002: Continue to list on this thread of course!
1003: For DnD, try to make future things. For D20, go medival. Really screw with the DM by using the opposite game's PC sheets.
"You can pick you friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. So i'll pick my ENEMY'S nose, b****!"
1006: If he says no, buy one anyways.
1007: Have the monkey kill a BBEG.
1008: As 1007, but twice.
1009: As 1008, but without the BBEG being resurrected first.
1010: Whenever an NPC asks you a question, reply by saying "42".
1011: Have your PC start a war against Calculus.
1012: As 1011, but before Calculus is invented.
1013: As 1012, but when people ask you what Calculus is, call them demon-worshippers who did it with a succubus last night.
1014: Attack an elderly lady, pulling at her face and declaring she's a man in disguise. When you're pulled off and someone declares that she's his/her mother, say, "Well if he is a woman, she looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick".
1015: Put your half-orc's three in Charisma, and declare in his story that when a god beat him with the ugly tree, the tree got even uglier and the god's head imploded from the total defiance of natural laws.
1016: Declare that you want to make a Craft: Disturbing Mental Image check.
1017: Max Ranks in Craft: Disturbing Mental Image.
1018: As 1017 and 1016, but gain the feat Skill Focus: Craft: Disturbing Mental Image.
1019: Max ranks in Profession: Math Professor and Knowledge skills Algebra, Geometry, and Calculus. Have him combine 3 skills with the remaining skill, gaining a +6 synergy bonus. Attempt to use this skill check to discover a means to codify everything in the world. Succeed. Write your findings in books titled "Player's Handbook", "Dungeon Master's Guide", and "Monster Manual". Have him publish and copyright these books, making an obscene fortune off them. Then buy a huge castle with dragons for royal guards.
1020: Create your character as a Gold Weredragon.
1021: Create an arcane spellcaster who specializes in transmutation. Max out Craft: Alchemy. Make sure that whenever you cast a spell with somatic components, you clap your hands together and slap them on the ground. Make him short and sensetive about this fact. Give him a metal arm. Have his main adventuring goals to be the search for the Philosopher's Stone so he can restore his brother (now a Warforged or other construct) to his original body and bring his mother back to life.
1022: Buy a lot of highly-flammable liquid, rags, and bottles. Claim you invented the Molotov Cocktail.
1023: |-|4\/3 y0ur (|-|4r4(73r |_34r|\| 1337-$p33|<. (Kudos to whomever can read that :D .)
1024: Play a wereskeleton.
1025: Play a were-Tarrasque
.1026: Play a character who does 1009, is 1015, does 1018, 1019, 1022, and 1023, is 1020, 1024, or 1025, and has the personality of 1021. Yes, this is all one character.
1027: Play an animal who is a were-human, half-orc, elf, or the like (I think I may try this...).
1028: Play a sorcerer/fighter/rogue/druid character.
1029: As 1028, but a wizard instead of a sorcerer and have him do 1026.
1030: Play a human were-elf.
1031: Play a dog-based henge-yokai from Oriental Adventures - in a Modern d20 setting. Declare that he is human on the night of the new moon. Make him surly.
1032: Declare that since crossbows are the original pistols, that means you can crossbow-whip an opponent. Take Weapon Proficiency: Crossbow-Whip. Use this to successfully kill a BBEG.
1033: Play a man in a leather skirt who weilds a whip. (Geez, Konami, what were you THINKING with Simon Belmont's design?!)
1034: Whenever you cast Tenser's Floating Disk, shape it into a dog. Affectionally call it Rush. Use it to fly by standing on it like a surfboard.
1035: Whenever you swing a sword, shout, "Cybersword! Battlechip in, download!"
1036: As 1035, but use an unholy sword, and shout, "Darksword! Darkchip in, download!"
1037: While we're on MMBN references, whenever you enter battle, say, "Execute!" Bonus points is someone (even yourself) casts a permanent Magic Mouth on you that says, "Battle routine, set!" as you enter combat, and you say your line afterwards.
1038: As 1035-37, while wearing blue armor.
1039: Declare you're buying a PET. When your DM asks, "What kind of pet?" reply, "No, a PET".
1040: Play a character who was living in his parent's basement before he began adventuring. Max out Profession: Figurine Painter.
1041: Try to catch an ogre. With a butterfly net. A REALLY SMALL butterfly net. Succeed.
1042: Play a night elf. In ANYTHING but a WoW d20 campaign. Insist on calling Constitution "Stamina", Dexterity "Agility", Intelligence "Intellect", and Wisdom "Spirit".
1043: Play a Hylian in a green tunic named Link. In ANYTHING but a Zelda d20 campaign.
1044: Play a hooker. Bonus points if your character is male
.1045: Play a displacer beast. Bonus points if it's in ANYTHING but a D&D campaign.
1046: Play a shapeshifted balor in a party with a paladin. Whenever the paladin gets stunned into next week, say, "Maybe we should turn back; this place is obviously out of our league." After three adventures like this, have the balor cast Morality Undone on all the characters and start an evil campaign.
1047: Play a misguided paladin. Show no mercy to creatures that aren't of your race. Don't even USE Detect Evil. Declare that he believes he "always has it on".
1048: Play a cleric of Olidammara. Urinate in the un/holy water supply of every temple you enter. Bonus points if you do this in full view of the clergy.
Whew. I think that's enough.
1050. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing.
1051. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil.
1052. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers.
1053. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head.
1054. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head, if you get this far you cannot make your first victim telekinetic.
1055. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head, if you get this far you cannot make your first victim telekinetic. You shall also not make your code name a brand of watches.
1056. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head, if you get this far you cannot make your first victim telekinetic. You shall also not make your code name a brand of watches. Said watch brand may not be Sylar.
1057. Always yell everything that you can, even in character. (did that too.)
1058. Bring your girlfriend with you to a session and start playing strip poker with the deck of many things. (alas, haven't tried that yet.)
1059. ALWAYS quote things from the latest T.V. show you just saw, i.e. walk up to a bard and say heyyyy(like phonzy)
Translated
1023: Have your character learn leet-speek.
Now wheres mah cookah?!
694: Cast 'light' on your teeth. Make wordplays about having a 'bright smile' and the like.
695: Like 694, but on your eyes. From now on, speak in a dark voice and claim you're a god.
I once did that with my beard, but the goblins were smarter than I thought.
1070) Pull out your Hero Clix and have your favorite hero beat up all the dms miniatures...
1071) Go on about how that guy is greater than even the DnD gods (My DnD worshiping DM hated it when I kept telling him Super Man would have a strength of 110, and he was really ticked about my Spiderman factoid and conversions)
1072) (Following the Comic geek Motif) While in a Forgoten Relms game play a Cleric, or beter yet Paladin of Ao. Name him Hal Jordan. First chance you get have Hal go insain and insist that he absorbs all the power of Ao and becomes the evil Paralax
1076) ... naked.
1077) Play video games when it is your turn
JaiaDrottsingr
1049. Your character may not be a watch maker.
1050. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing.
1051. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil.
1052. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers.
1053. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head.
1054. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head, if you get this far you cannot make your first victim telekinetic.
1055. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head, if you get this far you cannot make your first victim telekinetic. You shall also not make your code name a brand of watches.
1056. Your character may not be a watch maker with super sonic hearing and a *scientific* tendency to do evil and can Absorb other people's powers by cutting open their head, if you get this far you cannot make your first victim telekinetic. You shall also not make your code name a brand of watches. Said watch brand may not be Sylar.
:evillaugh
JaiaDrottsingr
993. Ask to play a psycho-chrono-kinetic character in any setting that doesn't allow it.
994. Ask to play a psycho-chrono-kinetic character in any setting that does allow it.
995. If granted ask to play as a Japanese guy.
996. If granted ask to play as a Japanese guy named Hiro Nakamura.
997. If granted ask to play as a Japanese guy named Hiro Nakamura that previously worked at Yamagato Software.
998. If granted ask to play as a Japanese guy named Hiro Nakamura that previously worked at Yamagato Software that has a cohort named Ando-kun.
That's from Heroes.
Save the Cheerleader, Save the world
Have your cleric, shaman, druid, etc. give the BBEG the enenima of resurrection.
1079: Steal people's door while they are in it
1080: Make your artificer make explosive squirells that attack people's nuts
818: play a druid, wildshape into a carebear(actually happened)
819: read masters of arms, use 3fold strike with a keen glaive
player:lets see 15damage, plus 4 for strength, and +1 for being a lv4 glaive master ,x5 for 3fold-strike, so thats...100 damage, oh critical hit thats means its 300. Do we use the massive damage rule?
dm: :surrender
(this is possible at lv 9, dms beware and dont use master of arms)
Where is this class at?
This reference is so obscure that whoever gets it gets THREE
s1083) have your party build a catapult just outside of town and then attack the town hall.
1084) insist that once your wizard reaches a high enough level he gains the ability to travel through time.
1085) make a RAT FLAIL!
"I am bored.
You will be assassinated.
All your valuables will be added to my own.
I prepared explosive runes this morning."
"BOOM!"
1087: Do 1086 while your charcter is Lawful Neutral. Say you are not contradicting your alignment, because you follow the teachings of a wise philosopher, who said:
"For each life saved, another must be taken to maintain the balance."
And you have been saving a lot of lives recently.
1088: If you win the discussion in 1087, make your character go find a cute little dog, kill it, and eat it's heart. If the DM asks if this is also a part of the philosophers teachings, just say:
"Well... No, I just did this for fun."
1090: Ask your ADD GM where you can find -insert obscure class ability here-... while he's in narrative mode.
1091: if you have a OCD GM, find out what he OCD bout and just mess with it if you can (like if he is OCD about how his maps are placed, just keep on moving it a bit)
1092: Pretend to be OCD and keep on changing things (fopr example, which way figurines/minis/whatever you wanna call em are facing, pencil colors, a certain dice...)
1093: Always follow GM sentences with "in bed" and "Your mom is!"
1094: Hand a note to the GM every sinfgle campaign in very messy handwriting. when he asks what you wrote, roll a d20 before saying "you failed your roll. all you see is scribbles"
1095: Make your character your GM's mom in EVERY campaign. For occupation though, put down something totally terrible
I don't think he was either.
GM: You wake up in a prison cell, and realise the food and drink yesterday was poisoned...
Player 1: I didn't have any. I don't drink alcohol or eat meat, so I skipped dinner. I can't have been poisoned.
GM: A guard shot you with a poison dart, OK?
Player 2: What kind of poison was it?
GM: What? Um... Spores from Black Moss?
Player 2: I'm immune to Black Moss, so I stayd awake and resisted capture! Ha!
GM: It was mixed with Forest Scorpion poison, OK? So you still fell asleep, OK?
Player 3: Damn, I'm oversensitive to Scorpion poison, so I won't wake up in another three hours...
(Continue until GM 1: Starts to cry, 2: Kills all of your characters, or 3: leaves the room and never comes back. Bonus points whenever you interrupt the GM!)
1098: Play an artificer :D
1099: Play a character with a maxed-out Alchemy skill. Thoroughly abuse said skill.
1100: Play a necromancer who likes to keep his undead army in bags of holding. Whenever the DM tells you to roll for initiative, turn the bags of holding inside out. Then insist he rolls initiative for EVERY SINGLE ZOMBIE. Make said zombies do the most random things you can think of.
1101: Play a character, but don't specify a gender. Every time someone asks you what your character's gender is, be as vague as possible without telling them what the gender is. They'll slowly go mad as they run out of non-gender specific pronouns. Then finally reveal that your character was a hermaphrodite the whole time (both male and female).
1102: Let me join your group :P
1103: Insist that your last DM allowed you to play a Dire Human, and this one should, too. (whatever the heck a dire human is).
1104: Create a character whose sole purpose in life is to kill him/herself in the most bizzare of ways. Then play a character descended from this character and repeat, calling it a 'family tradition'.
1105: Never fail to find a way to kill every living thing inside the dungeon without actually entering the dungeon. Then loot the dungeon.
1106: Create a paranoid character who is terrified of Pun-Pun and insists the uberkolbold is out to get him.
1107: Play a wizard with a mortal fear of falling asleep.
1108: Kill every BBEG in the most unpredictable and absurd of ways. (ex.: "I'll set my decanter of endless oil to 'geyser' and light it on fire."
1109: Have your character eat EVERYTHING. Even rocks.
1110: Do everything in this comic.
1111: If your DM only allows Core books, play a Druid and thoroughly abuse the class.
1112: Play a seriously tweaked-out monk.
1114) Play a moody adolescent female aasimar searching for her celestial ancestor...in a campaign run by a hack-and-slash DM who's a little uncomfortable with a) emotions, b) talking, and c) females.
1115) Cry. Really.
1116) Take a different obscure prestige class every level; forget which ability comes from which.
1117) Annoying to everyone: Play a very shortsighted Dedicated True Neutral--if it seems like the party is winning a fight, switch sides.
1118) Put on the cursed amulet.
1119) Fall in love with the celibate paladin; don't tell him or anyone else. Begin self-destructive aberrant behavior to cope with the rejection. Get pregnant and drink in the tavern.
1120) Max out Dominate Monster and make the BBEG your pet...haven't quite done this one, but my succubus paladin (O.O) did once manage to Charm the endboss.
DM: The old man fell down the stairs.
PC: Is he bleeding?
DM: Yea, i suppose he is wounded.
PC: Is his blood red?
DM: Y...
PC: CHARGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
1122) Play a drow. Cast Great Luminous Armor, then shout, "Turn it off! Turn it off! I can't see!"
This will annoy the HELL out of everyone.
1125. Make a character from the Book of Erotic Fantasy.
1126. As 1124, but instead of intentionally failing the check, find the trap, don't mention the trap is there (make sure it attacks an area if tripped), and have the other PCs spring it.