Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 silverhuntress Apr 06, 2015 7:17:47	So I have a player in my group that is constantly making the game slow down and generally unfun to play. I have seen this player bring back characters that I am 99% certain died. Play "lawful evil" characters more like they are "chaotic evil". Caused 3 people to leave a game recently after 10 hours on an expedition that should have taken 4. I am tired of him making sexual innuendos about women at the table, which as a woman makes me feel uncomfotable around him. I am tired of the racist remarks me makes "in character" about elves. I have complained to DMs as well as the local co-ordinator who just shrug it off. Where do I go now? Clearly he needs to be dealt with, but how?
#2 Tempest_Stormwind Apr 06, 2015 7:30:40	Yikes, that's a nightmare. I'm not sure how the official Adventurer's League rules work, but if I ever got a player like that (the worst I've seen is just a fraction of this), I'd just say "Goodbye, you're not welcome at my table anymore". If I'm on the player side of the table, I do what you did and talk to the DM. If the DM brushes you off, walk: there are other tables (including virtual tabletops) that will have friends instead, and it isn't worth playing with people who make it unfun. If you've got friends at the table, talk to them - they'll stick with you, and walk if you walk.
#3 silverhuntress Apr 06, 2015 8:08:39	That is pretty muchg what happened on Sunday. 3 of us (half the group) left because of this one player. Sadly he is in my regular HOTDQ group and it makes me want to not attend it. I will be complaining to that DM as well. (It should be noted my DM for that is also one of our local co-ordinators...the one who is on the offending player's side).
#4 jaelis Apr 06, 2015 8:33:22	That does sound awful, but yeah, I don't think there's much you can do besides find another group. Frankly I'd be pretty ticked at the DM anyway if he's letting this kind of thing happen.
#5 randl Apr 06, 2015 8:39:38	You should put this in the Adventure League forum.  There are people there that will be able to tell you exactly what you can do if this continues.
#6 FrogReaver Apr 06, 2015 8:48:40	silverhuntress wrote:
#7 Tempest_Stormwind Apr 06, 2015 9:57:01	FrogReaver wrote:
#8 silverhuntress Apr 06, 2015 10:03:01	As to the first point, I have been uncomfortable as the only women at the table 90 to 99% of the time causing a delay because I feel uncomfortable. That would lead to us take even longer on HOTDQ and other games than we all ready do, To the second, the two tables are (mostly) different. Different Dms and an assortment of people who want to be running expeditions. Four of them carry over to HOTDQ and two of those left last game due to the insantiy. As I said 10 hours over 2 days for one expediton is way beyond reasonable.
(Reply to #8) Coredump00	silverhuntress wrote:
#10 Greenstone.Walker Apr 06, 2015 19:03:10	If the game is running at a game store then approach the game store staff about it. I don't know what the law is in your country, but where I live, staff at a store have a legal responsibility to stop one patron abusing another.   Warning - as soon as you say something like "you have a legal obligation", the tone of the conversation changes completely. Only use it if the situation is really bad. Also, the store may deal with it harshly. I have seen bar staff in New Zealand respond to a similar situation by issuing trespass notices against *both* parties.    The best way to deal with antisocial behaviour is ostracism. Most people learn at preschol that if you are mean to people then they won't play with you any more. Next time you sit down at a table with this person, look at the GM and politely but firmly say "I've complained about this person before. Knowing their behaviour, are you accepting them playing at this table?" If the GM says "yes" then get up and leave. Encourage others to do the same.
#11 Noon Apr 06, 2015 20:36:47	The people who are shrugging it off are essentially complicit in it - they aren't just shrugging it off, they are helping this guy to be the sort of jerk he is. They have a screwed up attitude as well - they just don't express it directly. They just allow this guy to express his screwed up attitude.   There are various review sites and social media platforms - just mention to the co-ordinator and store owner you'll be leaving a review of their store at such sites. Just quote the sorts of things he's said in it, saying 'this is what you can expect at this store!'.   You might have felt there was a supportive atmosphere at the store previously, but it seems more like it's got repressed mysogyny going on. A screwed up attitude but most of them are too cowardly generally to express it, execpt for this particular jerk.
#12 Psikerlord Apr 07, 2015 4:18:50	First rule of DMing - do not allow evil PCs. Ever.   2nd rule of DMing - if you dont like how a PC is being played, tell the player. Hopefully things will change. If not, kick him out.
#13 BoldItalic Apr 07, 2015 5:17:06	Psikerlord wrote:
#14 DaomSlayer Apr 07, 2015 14:47:27	silverhuntress wrote:
#15 Orethalion Apr 07, 2015 14:51:30	silverhuntress wrote:
#16 Coredump00 Apr 07, 2015 15:41:55	People, she is not the DM; she is another player.
#17 Orethalion Apr 07, 2015 16:18:52	Then get the DM to boot him.  If he's driving away players, it should be an easy call.
#18 Tempest_Stormwind Apr 07, 2015 16:28:51	Orethalion wrote:
#19 Barky Apr 07, 2015 17:42:52	All hobbies attract jerks and trolls. In my experience some of the worst people troll hobby stores. Dump them, you're better than that. I haven't even met you and you're better than that. Dump the store if they're part of the problem or don't care.    Go to rpg.net or a similar site and search for groups or events in your area, preferably one who meets in a public area like a library or school or something. Or look on the game store bulletin boards. Folks usually post what kind of game they run, and you can also search the forum for other posts they've made to make sure they're not creeps. As always, be careful of who you meet on the internet, a public place is best.   You can even go to Roll20.net and play from the comfort of your own home. It's not as good as face-to-face, but it's better than going to ALs where you'll be treated like crap.
#20 CahPahkah Apr 07, 2015 22:07:27	Psikerlord wrote:
#21 SterlingRat Apr 08, 2015 9:58:11	Unfortunately, D&D has always attracted some people that don't play well with others and/or never learned how to interact in a normal social setting.   First, I suggest you try to feel sorry for him... I know it's hard to feel sorry for the guy being a jerk, but most human behaviors are reflective; what you are seeing is how people in other settings have acted around him.   Second, don't just accept his behavior - it's inappropriate and he may not be aware of that. At the same time, try not to be confrontational about it - I've seen awkward people who have trouble in social situations turn surprisingly violent when confronted because they don't know how else to deal with conflict. You do not want to end up on the nightly news.   Last, if he is making the comments "in character", then make an effort to address it in character; but don't push. You will probably not be able to correct his inappropriate behavior pattern, and you can't control him... but make an effort and if it fails, leave.    Try contacting the other players that left, talk to the owner of the shop and play on a different night. Take turns DMing unless one of you gets the bug.
#22 Orethalion Apr 08, 2015 11:32:38	Tempest_Stormwind wrote:
#23 Barky Apr 08, 2015 12:10:02	Orethalion wrote:
#24 RedSiegfried Apr 10, 2015 10:48:48	First of all, do not try to get other people to fix the problem for you until you've tried to fix it yourself by telling the other person to stop doing the things that are making the game less fun for you.   Have you ever told the player directly that you want him to change his behavior?    If not, you need to start there.  You don't need to argue with him.  Just tell him specifically what you're uncomfortable with and tell him to stop doing it.    Don't ask.  Tell.  Then it's on him to stop.  Do it before the game or after the game, but preferably not in the middle of the game or in front of all the other players, because this isn't about embarassing him, it's about getting him to change his behavior.   If talking to him doesn't work out and no one else is going to help you, in that case  I'd then probably advise against escalating the situation any further and creating even more of a hassle for the store, the coordinator(s) and the other players.  Just leave the game and join another one or start your own.    It's not worth fighting over when you don't have to.
#25 RedSiegfried Apr 10, 2015 10:47:40	SterlingRat wrote:
#26 BRJN Apr 11, 2015 19:08:27	CahPahkah wrote: