Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 morphling_89 Jul 24, 2009 22:11:18	Ever been so unlucky that you became convinced you were afflicted by some horrible curse? Share your epic failures! Here's mine: 0. My party was adventuring and came upon a powerful mage that inhabited the castle we were in. Rather than take the typical KILL/LOOT everything approach, we decided to be diplomatic. Unfortunately, I rolled a 1 on my diplomacy check. Another party member said: "Here, let me try". 1. A Third party member: "Don't worry, I actually have a few ranks". Also a 1. After the 3rd one in a row (that's a 1 in 8000 chance, folks), the mage declared us all "jackasses" and promptly started attacking us.
#2 reddaffodil Jul 24, 2009 23:31:47	1.Every time my Cleric tries to charge at a monster, she misses and gets the crap beaten out of her ;-;. 2. Another time this stupid player (An "Arcane Paladin", a paladin that casts arcane spells instead of divine spells) decided to bull rush IN THE MIDDLE OF FOUR MONSTERS. It ended just as well as you might expect. 3. One new player(Different from #2) kept on charging into rooms and activating traps. The rest of the party never suffered such a fate. He hates traps now
#3 elfspeaker Jul 26, 2009 8:40:20	4. One of my players was playing an Eladrin Fey'lock. The adventuring party came to a portcullis in a dungeon. He teleported past it by himself without letting the other characters know where he was going. He explored a failing bare room and rather than returning to the party, he opened another door and was promptly hit by three flail-wielding hobgoblins. This dropped him to bellow 0 hp while the rest of the party still didn't know where he was. The hobgoblins finished him off with their daggers since keeping eladrin as slaves is rather difficult.
#4 kenlar Oct 19, 2009 6:23:18	5: In our last game (4.0), my Human Paladin was dominated by an adult purple dragon and scored a crit... against the party's cleric. I didn't think it was that bad (a natural 20 is always nice), but our cleric probably didn't like it
#5 LadyAthena Oct 22, 2009 6:40:26	6. One of our players can't seem to roll above a 9 on any set of dice he's ever used, his, ours, nothing.  This is how it goes for every session, every game system.  Also, he has an unusually high percentage of rolling (minimum needed - 1)... 7.  Same player as above is trying to get from one side of a campsite to another (we were raiding it at the time).  The more mischevious players in our group somehow convince him he should leap over the dying bonfire in the center of camp, rather than just charging to the other side, to make an epic show before he resumed the slaughter.  He needed a 3.  He rolled a 2.  He took fire damage and shame. Whenever someone suggests something that you (or your character) doesn't want to do, "It's just a bonfire," is usually the rebuttal now. :P P.S. - I'm adding this to the 1001 Compendium.
#6 crugen-lon Oct 22, 2009 6:54:26	8. one of my former player  made me make her a homebrew class wich was specialized with rapier, she also aked for a custom race, ending being a cat-like fencer. Once against the BBEG, instead of fighthing him, she threw her rapier in the river and tried to bite him with her fang...through his Full-plate.   9. the was player in another game saw her leader being killed by a half-dragon(i clearly mentioned he was evil). All the other players tried to escape (since they were lvl 1 that was the right thing to do) but not her, she decided to fight him and ended up being killed as well.
#7 brassbaboon Oct 22, 2009 23:54:55	10. My 3.5e druid (then level 5) rolled five 1s in a row in a combat that lasted only five rounds. For the entire fight every time I rolled, I rolled a 1. By the third one the players were laughing. By the fourth one they were chanting, when I hit the fifth, we had to stop playing for about five minutes until everyone got their breath back. For those interested, that's a 1 in 3,200,000 chance. No, I've never rolled five 20s in a row.
#8 agentmohsen Oct 23, 2009 0:22:32	11. This is a DM failure: Our one shot campaign was near the end, we get to the fiery room and fight the evil dragon, I am close to death by this point, when the dragon grabs me and flies straight up 120 feet. as he lets me go, it becomes my turn, as I am falling, i shoot the dragon with my bow, which kills the dragon. You would think that my death is certain with the velocity of the impact... One of the treasures we recived in teh party earlier, was a potion of flight (3.5 rules BTW) and i plea with my party to take the potion and fly up to catch, to prevent my death. the DM staes that considering the circumstances, only a D20 would do to catch me succesfully and lower me to the ground. So my party mate rolled the D20, landed on 20, and rescued me. this was 6 years ago. Por DM.
#9 gagnrath Oct 23, 2009 0:50:53	My DM, a guy in late middle age who has been playing since first edition, decided that to get one of his former players who he has a crush on to get her to play again, he child could play.  The fail part of this is the child cannot read.  It is utterly impossible to play D&D without being able to read.  He can't find stuff on his character sheet let alone not being able to read or understand actual important things like rules powers actions or skills.
#10 brassbaboon Oct 23, 2009 1:00:50	My 3.5e fifth level druid was part of a party attacked by a black dragon. The dragon's aura sent all but one other character and my druid fleeing. The other character foolishly decided to fight the dragon, and my druid could not abandon him to his death. So she decided to try to distract the dragon with a summoned dire bat and then dive into a nearby river to escape the dragon. Unfortunately the dragon got initiative and for some reason decided to ignore the character shooting at it, and attacked my druid instead, biting her nearly in half and dropping her bloody body into the same river. This caused the other character to decide to flee and drink a potion of invisibility. Unable to find the invisible character, the dragon flew off. My druid was saved by the party cleric at -9 hit points after the dragon aura effect finally wore off and the invisible character showed him where my druid's body was. fun times.
#11 agentmohsen Oct 23, 2009 1:03:32	My 3.5e fifth level druid was part of a party attacked by a black dragon. The dragon's aura sent all but one other character and my druid fleeing. The other character foolishly decided to fight the dragon, and my druid could not abandon him to his death. So she decided to try to distract the dragon with a summoned dire bat and then dive into a nearby river to escape the dragon. Unfortunately the dragon got intiative and for some reason decided to ignore the character shooting at it, and attacked my druid instead, biting her nearly in half and dropping her bloody body into the same river. This caused the other character to decide to flee and drink a potion of invisibility. Unable to find the invisible character, the dragon flew off. My druid was saved by the party cleric at -9 hit points after the dragon aura effect finally wore off and the invisible character showed him where my druid's body was. fun times. My DM, a guy in late middle age who has been playing since first edition, decided that to get one of his former players who he has a crush on to get her to play again, he child could play.  The fail part of this is the child cannot read.  It is utterly impossible to play D&D without being able to read.  He can't find stuff on his character sheet let alone not being able to read or understand actual important things like rules powers actions or skills. 14. The last two posts for not putting a number in front of their post??
#12 gagnrath Oct 23, 2009 1:11:20	15.  Gnome cleric 3.5 went in at fairly low level to fight some ghouls with the party.  We walk in the Fighter, wizard, and rogue all fail their saves vs. paralization.  The cleric me, the ranger, and a fighter/rogue all make ours.  Next round the fighter/rogue fails.  2 more rounds and the ranger fails.  The cleric me fights on for about 3 more rounds before finally failing and succumbing.   The bad part was 3 of the other characters were elves and immune.
#13 cheeze21084 Oct 23, 2009 2:06:37	16. Goliath Fighter peaks behind a door to the newly discovered orc stronghold and notices several hostile orcs staring at him. He closes the door and confers with his party mates. After which, he charges through the door to find 8 orc warriors fully prepaired for him. He missed on his attack and was dropped to negative bloodied in less than 1 round. 17. Gnome Warlock uses warlocks leap to teleport through a door that leads to a mind flayers lair, with no knowledge of what is directly on the other side... You would think that my players would learn...
#14 millslogle Nov 22, 2009 10:29:19	I had this cool fighter, whose big thing was athletics. He would always find some way to wind athletics into combat. This one time, we were fighting a couple of Kobolds, and there was one just outside my movement range. I came up with an awesome plan to run, jump, and attempt a mid air bullrush. I made the distance fine, but I had forgotten that we were playing in an old forest, and there were stumps all over. Without going into to much detail, I ate it. The kobold had a field day stabbing me while I was prone exactly 5 feet from it.
#15 cymbeline Nov 22, 2009 11:11:59	19. The old 1e Pharoah module, we know its the beginning of the Desert of Desolation campaign. Our party of largely 5th level characters is in this pyramid very early on. For reasons I don't fully recall, an Efreet shows up and starts trashing everyone. The rest of the party take action, attack, hide, run, cast spells. My thief decides its all to horrible to be true (metagaming, thought it was too early in an adventure to meet an Efreet, and we were just too low level), and declared that he was trying to disbelieve an illusion. I stood there for four or five rounds trying to disbelieve a real Efreet, whilst a large battle raged on. Fortunately, the Efreet was a plot device rather than a real adversary, and things carried on. But thinking back, if I had been DM, I would have killed me on principle.
#16 hastarl Nov 22, 2009 16:52:30	20. In our early levels we ecountered a giant spider skeleton. Unfortunately our rogue didn't have any bludgeoning weapon and were unable to deal the skeleton any damage at all. He spent the fight counting the skeleton's damage  21. Our party had defeated a mini BBEG and I saw a chest. Being rather new to d&d I went over there and smashed it open. First I rolled a 20 to hit. Then I rolled another 20 and then 18. Almost instant death on a chest. That was awsome. Unfortunately the trap inside exploded and nearly killed me
#17 cydrius Nov 22, 2009 22:00:00	20. In our early levels we ecountered a giant spider skeleton. Unfortunately our rogue didn't have any bludgeoning weapon and were unable to deal the skeleton any damage at all. He spent the fight counting the skeleton's damage  22. Whoever came up with the idea of a spider skeleton. Spiders are actually invertebrates.
#18 kroska Nov 22, 2009 22:44:05	23. Back in 3.5E I had a dretch character who was stranded on the material plane and tried to find another dretch to see where he was. After much talking and shouting with the other dretch and not getting a response back my dretch character promptly bludgeoned it to death in his fustration. All the while the other PC's are watching a random dretch scream at a wet cardboard box and then start smashing it.
#19 xenosmilus Nov 23, 2009 8:59:11	24. The party have spend a good deal of time chasing this annoying goblin who stole something from us that I can't quite remember what was. Just to see him escape right in front of our noses by rope over a large pit. I'm having nothing of it and decide to leap out and attempt to grab the rope, rolling up a horrible result and promptly falling to my death.
#20 tinyndil Nov 23, 2009 16:12:49	25) I was playing with two players (including me) in a one-shot adventure (3.5) where we were hired alongside a group of other soldiers to follow a lord to clear out a kobold tribe from a nearby cave. After killing all the kobolds in the cave, I searched for treasure (playing a rogue) and found another room. Opening the door and stepping in, I fell into a pit trap, and because it was just after the final battle, went to negative hit points. The other character attempted to get me out of the pit. Apparently, the lord who hired us was neutral, and to make sure he didn't have to pay us, he pushed the other character into pit, knocking him to negative hit points as well. So, we eventually bled out, in a pit, after technically succesfully completing the adventure. I guess we shouldn't have been so trusting.
#21 charakanturas Nov 23, 2009 16:29:31	The rogue in my group found a complex trap and alerted everyone of it. However, he was afraid that if he tried to disarm it, he would mess up and the trap would kill him. The fight, who was a complete tank, decided that he would just walk into the trap and let it hit him, and thus the trap would be gone. He went with his plan and ended him getting hit in the gut with a huge axe and falling down a flight of stairs. He was 7 hp away from death, and he was level 17 (3.5). I made the trap do extra damage because he just let it hit him as hard as possible without even trying to block or dodge it. The paranoid rogue would go on to eventually destroy his fear of traps.
#22 hastarl Nov 24, 2009 6:50:11	20. In our early levels we ecountered a giant spider skeleton. Unfortunately our rogue didn't have any bludgeoning weapon and were unable to deal the skeleton any damage at all. He spent the fight counting the skeleton's damage  22. Whoever came up with the idea of a spider skeleton. Spiders are actually invertebrates.  It wasn't actually a spider skeleton, but I can't remember the exact creature type.
#23 RPJesus Nov 24, 2009 11:52:16	20. In our early levels we ecountered a giant spider skeleton. Unfortunately our rogue didn't have any bludgeoning weapon and were unable to deal the skeleton any damage at all. He spent the fight counting the skeleton's damage  22. Whoever came up with the idea of a spider skeleton. Spiders are actually invertebrates.  No see, it's a skeleton shaped like a spider :3.
#24 brassbaboon Nov 24, 2009 13:26:06	20. In our early levels we ecountered a giant spider skeleton. Unfortunately our rogue didn't have any bludgeoning weapon and were unable to deal the skeleton any damage at all. He spent the fight counting the skeleton's damage  22. Whoever came up with the idea of a spider skeleton. Spiders are actually invertebrates.  It wasn't actually a spider skeleton, but I can't remember the exact creature type. Nothing wrong with a spider skeleton... except that it's hollow on the inside...
#25 aleristhes33ker Nov 24, 2009 13:58:54	One of my players has once cast Fly in an area of wild magic (which worked) and just as he was in the perfect position, an enemy spellcaster cast Dispel Magic and sent him falling. Intelligent as he was, my Player had Feather Fall prepared for such circumstances but, instead of letting him land smoothly, the spell failed and opened a 20 feet deep pit. The other players couldn't stop laughing that evening
#26 jacxis Nov 28, 2009 11:21:18	In a one-off adventure I played as a stereotypical tough-as-nails girl, a level 1 half-elf paladin. We also had a wizard, a ranger/rogue hybrid and a bard (we were short of one player, thus the one-off adventure). Since none of us were trained in perception we didn't notice a false floor pit, and the bard happily walked into the trap trying to get to the goblins on the other side of the chamber. And there was a rat swarm inside the pit. I wanted to charge across the room but found myself missing one point of movement if I went around the pit. So I said something that didn't seem that stupid to me at that time. "Guys, I'm going to jump over the pit." I was wearing scale armour and holding a heavy shield, so with a running start I only needed an Athletics check of 10 to succeed. That means I only needed to roll 8 or more to pass. (I had 18 strength.) I rolled a 1. And thus the paladin dropped right into the pit, joining the bard below. And on his next turn, the bard climbed out of the pit, leaving me alone with the rats. When it came to my turn I decided to leave the pit as well, and just like before I needed only an 8 on the die to climb out. I never managed to do so, even after three rounds. By then, the rats had already chewed me up quite badly, and the rest of the party was dying because of the lack of an active defender. We declared the adventure a complete failure. All because a paladin in heavy armour tried to jump over a pit.
#27 speckles Nov 28, 2009 18:51:30	29) In a 3.5 campaign my cleric had the idea to get a spell storing dagger and put a cure spell in it for at-distance healing. Naturally the first time she throws one I get my first critical hit of the whole damn campaign. Since the DM uses a modified critical hits system, instead of doing double damage it caused the player to be stunned for 1d6 rounds. The DM ruled that the cleric had hit him in the 'inner thigh' and he'd doubled over in pain. When the BBEG's turn came around it took advantage of this and nearly killed the poor guy.
#28 ieatrazors Nov 28, 2009 20:22:49	30. This is my first epic fail as of last night. My buddy threw together a zombie town for us all to play around in. Well, one thing lead to another and I had a vendetta against the town priest that i wouldn't let go. While trying to burn the church down, the other PCs had boarded up our home leaving me stuck outside. I had gotten the attention of the blacksmith who joined our party to undo the barricade to let me in, while he was doing so I had several uber zombies walking at me, yes, walking at me. So decided to take a leftover bottle of booze from trying to burn down the church and make a molotov to kill the zombies, passing the craft check, i failed on the throw. The bottle had slipped out of my hand mid-throw and hit house. I efficiently killed all the other characters. I ran for a well, jumped in, and had my character try to commit suicide, i rolled a one and ended up shaving.