And it seems if I don't play characters that are;
a) male or
b) male and a fighter
I'm being 'difficult' and refusing to 'get out of my comfort zone'. I think it's insane that I have to play a man to be taken seriously. I don't even feel comfortable playing a man as I imagine most of my group would feel uncomfortable being forced to play a woman. So, thoughts? Am I really just missing something?
DM's should let people play what they want to play. Male or Female. Rogue, Druid, Bard, ect. If your having fun why change. If your not then consider a change but it is YOUR character.
Or, if you want to be spiteful, and potentially ruin everyone's fun, roll up a male fighter and play him as every dumb bloke you have every wanted to knee in the unmentionables. Solve problems with your fist, get bored when you are not in a fight and chat up anything that has two legs and no beard.
Seriously, I don't like it when anyone tries to play as the opposite sex, there's no difference rules-wise between genders, but there are subtleties of thought and approach. However, as a DM, I find chatting up male players as a female NPC a hoot....
But since you're already a fixture at the table, I agree that rolling up a male character could be fun. Just make him the biggest male cliche you can think of - obsessed with sports, constantly farting and laughing, bad manners, and always on the prowl for amply-breasted barmaids. Challenge every NPC to an arm-wrestling contest or to simply "pull your finger." Dress like a slob.
Once your point is made and everyone has learned their lesson, infect everyone with cooties so you'll have the last laugh.
However, as a DM, I find chatting up male players as a female NPC a hoot....
Wow, the evidence is really piling up there, Aethergrey. :P
When he said your character is pointless, he meant that your character is pointless in his hack-n-slash male-dominated campaign where the DM is an over-controlling jerk who thinks his definition of fun supersedes that of any of his players.
The best solution here is to take your character to a campaign run by a DM who isn't a dick.
You also have the option of ruining his campaign beforehand by trying to kill off the other players, making a cliche male character to make fun of them, etc.
If your DM is easily tricked, try to convince him that you want your character to shop around for a girdle of masculinity/femininity, because obviously the best solution is to turn the character you like into a man and continue playing. If you manage to get a hold on such a girdle, tell him you want to wait until the party is asleep, so you can surprise them in the morning with your newfound masculinity. If he falls for THAT, go up to the biggest brute in your group (preferably one with an atrocious listen/spot/perception check) while he's sleeping and slip it on him. :D
So, I've been playing DnD for a solid 7 years. I've played just about every class and feel I have a firm grasp on both 3.5 and 4.0 edition rules. Also, I'm a girl. And my dm is currently running a 3.5 game where the pc's are pretty much champions of goodness and leading the charge against the God of Death and his undead army. I'm playing a halfling rouge/bard who's main purpose has been backing up the rest of the characters in combat and talking with the Goddess of Chaos (who's been our quiet backer) and the other factions when we're out in combat. I'm the main source of information to the party. My DM tells me this character is 'pointless' and I should make a new one.
And it seems if I don't play characters that are;
a) male or
b) male and a fighter
I'm being 'difficult' and refusing to 'get out of my comfort zone'. I think it's insane that I have to play a man to be taken seriously. I don't even feel comfortable playing a man as I imagine most of my group would feel uncomfortable being forced to play a woman. So, thoughts? Am I really just missing something?
Hi Missheretic.
Your DM is being incredibly rude. You aren't missing anything, except the experience of having a good DM.
At the very least your DM should be sitting down with you and trying to meld your character concept with his game if he thinks your basic idea doesn't fit. Having said all that, what campaign does a Halfling Rogue Bard not fit into?
I'd try to work it out, mention you brought it up here and see if you can resolve it. If that doesn't work, make up the character he wants you to play, and then stereotype it and illustrate for him the mistake he made.
Either that or find a new more reasonable group with a competent DM.
Girl gamers are a commodity, an asset. There are hundreds of good DMs out there who would love to have at least one female in their game. Don't let him bully you. :
Good luck.
Anyways, your DM is being a jerk. Kick him in the dice and find another game.
I'm playing a halfling rouge/bard who's main purpose has been backing up the rest of the characters in combat
I hate to put words in anyone's mouth, but I'm pretty sure the "pointless" comment is directed at combat capability. Here we got what appears to be a singing swashbuckler. Your attack bonus might not be so great, neither are your hit points or armor class, but you grant bonuses to the other players and can sneak attack for a couple d6's. Some suggestions:
* There are a few decent spells on the bard spell list, but most of them you can purchase in wand form (the better route while in combat, IMO).
* Pick up items or feats that will increase your toughness (hp & AC) in combat. This is the one area that bards hurt the most, as they're doing the cleric's job in light armor. Most bards also forget that they have proficiency with shields...
And it seems if I don't play characters that are;
a) male or
b) male and a fighter
I'm being 'difficult' and refusing to 'get out of my comfort zone'. I think it's insane that I have to play a man to be taken seriously.
I wouldn't worry about the sex thing if nobody else is playing a different gender. And even then, few people do feel comfortable playing that way. In this, your DM is most certainly being a pinhead.
Play an artificer and make belts of alternate gender(old old cursed item, always good for a laugh) just to mess wit him.
It's frustrating because I feel like I'm doing most of the parties work for them. I'm digging for all the story infomation. I'm the one getting the army together. I'm the one keeping other deities from squishing us...well TRYING to get them to not squish us. And just because I can't do massive damage I'm 'pointless'. I think you all are right, I should bail. Which sucks because I totally love the character.
you can address his issues based on that with 2 feats from either complete adventurer or libris mortis.
If his problem stems from you playing a charismatic, female, or sneaky character. . . then I would have to suggest you call him on it.
From what you said, your character is doing fine. If you don't like fighting, just making sure you do full-time with your support role is plenty. Talk to the other players in your group as well to make sure the DM's suggestions aren't just his, but that of your other group members, if everyone thinks you aren't pulling your weight ask for what they need in a support character. That should rectify the problem.
If all else fails, try asking around to find another group to go to. Yours will probably miss you before long.
On the other hand I did a back flip when Kat my groups female player joined the group and played what she wanted to and had fun, my group has a very divers group though, from 3int fighters to paladins of good, to rogues that wouldn't mind killing the party leader for 10gp (actually happened once) as well as out party cleric of madness. Kat was a welcomed addition to the group she wanted to play a support character and our cleric had joined the army so we had lost our skilled healer, this was around the beginning of 4e, So I told her of the support roles available told her the combat pros and cons, and the roleplaying feel of the races and the classes in general she was a pro at the cleric in no time. I could never think of telling her that her character was pointless because no character is pointless except for one friend of mine yeah -1 you know who you are.
Seriously, setting aside my initial reaction, here (which involves a swift knee to the jimmies, a DM should NEVER tell a player that a character is pointless, male, female, or undeclared..)...
Look around at the rest of the party. Do THEY think you're pulling your weight? Do THEY seem upset that you're not the sword-swinging jock that you say your DM is implying he'd like to see? Aethergray has it right. Ask your DM to please define "pointless," and exactly what it is he expects your character to be doing.
Now, if all you EVER play is halfling rogue/bards and variations on that theme, it's possible that he is, in a totally tactless way, suggesting that you're capable of more RP than one stereotyped character, and would like to see you try different roles. (Hey, I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, here, put down the torches!) If you are enjoying the game, give him the chance to explain himself, hear him out, and think it over. If you're having fun with your character, the rest of the party is having fun with you in the party, and the character ain't broke, the DM really shouldn't be messing with things.
P.S. One female gamer to another... don't let the asshats get you down. Do what you love.
The girdle thing is hilarious! He'd never fall for it so I'll just have to wait till I find a dm who will. ;)
It's frustrating because I feel like I'm doing most of the parties work for them. I'm digging for all the story infomation. I'm the one getting the army together. I'm the one keeping other deities from squishing us...well TRYING to get them to not squish us. And just because I can't do massive damage I'm 'pointless'. I think you all are right, I should bail. Which sucks because I totally love the character.
You seem to be a roleplayer in a rollplay game. You seem to dig a good story, enjoy character development, and appreciate that an effective character doesn't have to have full BAB progression and to 345d6 damage per round. Unfortunately, the DM (at a bare minimum) likes his hack'n'slash, where anyone unable to do mad damage per round is, as he so succinctly put it, pointless.
Nothing is going to change this game. Take your character and find another game. Life is too short to play D&D with asshats.
You MIGHT consider a totally combat-focused character, with no communication skills ( dump CHA, play as shy/introverted/cool/aloof ) and see if your DM has to scramble to get his (presumably) plot hooks fed to the group.
Then rub it in his (presumably) face. If you want to be mean.
My DM tells me this character is 'pointless' and I should make a new one.
Get him to read "Robin's Laws of Good Gamemastering". In other words, your DM is bad, because he doesn't understand the existence of different player types and their different "kicks", i.e. different player want different things.
A good GM or one who tries to be one, should always keep that in mind and try to address all player needs in his campaign. Or at least recognize that your play styles differ - instead of playing the badwrongfun "pointless" card.
But if all other players are (apparently) happy with that, leaving is the more efficient solution.
Cheers, LT.
You can find a decent game group if you search the store where you buy your books. If that fails, find a bunch of your friends that have never played before and introduce them to the wonder of DnD. Help them learn to roleplay and if they like it, you will have a group you can be happy playing in.
Don't let them get you down lady!
Sounds like the OP is more interested in the role-playing, which is fun. Every group needs a face-man, so it's good of you to take on the role, bad for the DM to think it's pointless. Find a new one and re-make the character for the new game and group is my advice, unless the current group are friends of yours, in which case I'd actually go with the advice presented to make up a different character who has no social skills. See how they get along then.
If things go great, well, suck it up and enjoy what you can in the new character. If not, they you'll have proved your point and hopefully the DM will see things your way.
Best of luck, with whatever you decide to do.
Hi Missheretic.
Your DM is being incredibly rude. You aren't missing anything, except the experience of having a good DM.
At the very least your DM should be sitting down with you and trying to meld your character concept with his game if he thinks your basic idea doesn't fit. Having said all that, what campaign does a Halfling Rogue Bard not fit into?
I'd try to work it out, mention you brought it up here and see if you can resolve it. If that doesn't work, make up the character he wants you to play, and then stereotype it and illustrate for him the mistake he made.
Either that or find a new more reasonable group with a competent DM.
Girl gamers are a commodity, an asset. There are hundreds of good DMs out there who would love to have at least one female in their game. Don't let him bully you. :
Good luck.
Minja, those are great points. In fact, the other posters provided wonderful advice that I concur with. Missheretic, you should play the class and sex you wish. It's foolish, selfish, and sexist of your DM to require you play a male. I'm flumoxed by your DM's mandate.
I wouldn't try to ruin the group's fun by playing a "bone-headed" male fighter. Maybe the other players are happy with you playing whatever you choose, yes? So, I wouldn't punish them. Take the "high road" and find a new DM who is more open-minded.
I know jerky DM's are rather common, but has anything like this happened to anyone else?
Nope, sorry, not me anyway.
If a DM starts to get that with me, I address it immediately and don't let it get too far, but usually it is players and not the DM. I won't necessarily immediately say something in front of the whole group, but I will take it to a private conversation and make myself perfectly clear. Again, I find that most DMs view myself (a female) as an asset, and if anything are usually addressing rude players and trying to keep them from running me off, rather than being rude themselves.
Curious, is this the same DM you have been playing with for 7 years or is this new? If you give some more details, I might be able to offer some more advice.
I know jerky DM's are rather common, but has anything like this happened to anyone else?
DM of a Ravenloft campaign refused to let me choose Undead as a favoured enemy. If I had more experience, I would have chosen a Cleric and dared him to nerf my Turn Undead.
If you haven't already left the group, why don't you morph your character into an Enchanter? You seem to be a suave talker, why not back it up with a Sorcerer who can cast Charm Person and Suggestion to help out during combat?
If the other players have no problem with your PC, neither should the DM. Maybe you all need to talk to him if that's the case.
Your missing that your DM is being an asshat.
DM's should let people play what they want to play. Male or Female. Rogue, Druid, Bard, ect. If your having fun why change. If your not then consider a change but it is YOUR character.
I almost ALWAYS play a human fighter, or a human cleric. This most recent character, a rogue / beguiler, has been a lot of fun and very interesting - but is also a human.
One of my friends, the only girl in my gaming groups, almost always plays a human bard. She is damn good at playing one.
Nothing wrong with knowing what you like and what you are good at and sticking to it. A DM encouraging you to try other character types is fine. One who belittles your choice of character and tries to therefore manipulate you into playing something else is a totally different, and out of line.
I'm guilty of it too, I suppose, but I'll play a dude far more often than a woman.
The fact is, playing the opposite gender is just a bad idea. Nobody ever plays it "realistically". They always fall in to stereotypes or just end up acting like the sex of the player. eg. Most of my female characters have ended up being tomboys and more manly than some of the other guys. Hilarious, but not totally accurate to every woman.
I think the problem here is that your group is combat-centric and your characters are not. If you want to appease the DM (which you don't need to), perhaps you should play something like a mage or cleric, where its seen as okay to stand back, but your spells are great for smacking people around. throw some high-damage spells in once in a while to wow the party, but focus on using your spells to be helpful in other ways like you prefer. Druid is also a good choice. It'll probably require some research on the character optimization forums though.
Otherwise, just play what you like.
I'd ask your DM for help making your chosen character viable in his campaign, rather than having to roll up "another fighter."
Rogues can be devastating in combat if done correctly. Bards may be more of a challenge, but sometimes that challenge is half the fun.
If it really is a gender issue, then find a group that doesn't have issues with sexism or whatever. Let's face it, some guys just don't know how to act around women.