For example, useless people who constantly get themselves killed and want you to res them. Or the people who refuse to play because they think they deserve a magic item more.
Post all of your annoying player stories here, and (optionally) how your DM dealt with it.
There's always one. A player in your party who just wants to annoy everyone by being a hindrance to the party or just plain annoying the players.
Pigknight suggests you slap them on the back of the head. I haven't been on the forums long, but it's far and away one of the most sensible things I've heard.
Personally, I'm spoilt for choice of players, so I just tend to either avoid playing with players who are beyond redemption, or bring them as the sole immature player into a group of my mature friends, which tends to help a lot.
2. Players that create ridiculous background story for their characters. Example: he wants the rest of the players to go help him look for the shards of his broken tiefling horn so he can regain memories that he's the prince of another dimension and he's already lvl 30.
3. Players that play for a long time and still doesn't which dice is which.
4. Players that invites more people to game when there is already 9 people at the table.
5. Players that brings their girl/boyfriends to the table and snuggle throughout the session and wakes up when it's their turn, rolls the die, and goes back to snuggling.
6. Players that brings up an irrelevant subject and makes discussion with the group... while the DM is talking!
I got some more... but me tired.
5. Players that brings their girl/boyfriends to the table and snuggle throughout the session and wakes up when it's their turn, rolls the die, and goes back to snuggling.
Thank you.
7. Players who bring props. I'm sorry, but just because you brought a piece of cardboard shaped like a sword and covered with tinfoil... my immersion isn't going to be helped.
Example: I had a character that tried for two hours of game time to figure out where the thief that took his medallion went even though it was clear, he was long gone. It got to the point where the other PCs decided to leave him and continue on. The player pouted for a week.
11. Players who just ate something doesn't bother to wash or wipe his hands and flips through the Players' Handbook. The text that he has touched becomes smudged and greased up.
12. Players that create awesome characters that has real potential to the story but describes themselves as silent and mysterious because they are shy. No roleplaying whatsoever.
13. Players that rolls the dice for anything, tossing the dice across the table and is able to knock over almost every miniature there.
14. Players that thinks the DM is always their enemy. Every time after killing a monster gets into the DM's face and shouts,"Booyah! Who da man! Screw you and your skeleton minion!"... I did at that time was... Skeleton resurrects stabs you in the gut and you die. Then it collapses back to a pile of bones. DM is your friends, enemies, and the world you live in... Don't mess with god, jerk.
15. Creates PC with no concept of right or wrong and expects everybody to just accept it when she kills an innocent person to get their stuff.
16. Male who plays females like all women are sultry, seductive sex-kittens with impossibly huge knockers.
17. Creates generic PC template all with the same stats. Back in 1e, he created the "Knights of Fire" (qv. warforged) and every time one would die, he'd use the same character sheet for his new PC, which just happened to be at the same level as the last one when it died. I'll forgive the Klutzy Ninjas because they were funny as all get-out, but the KoF were inexcusable. I wouldn;t allow them when I took the DM position.
18. Tries to turn serious game into goofy game. When others refuse, has his PC "go crazy" and start trying to kill the others either directly or by making noise to attract monsters/ alert guards.
Don't even ask about what he did as DM. He got voted out of the basement after one particularly bad night and left on the verge of tears. He was something like 26 or so at the time.
19: Players, during combat, is occupied with his Nintendo DS. When his turn comes up raises his head look surprised," Oh, is it my turn? Lemme see..." Takes about a minute or two to decide to what he's gonna do and shuffling through his power cards. Does his turn.... then history repeats itself. He was kicked out BTW.
Players who bring props. I'm sorry, but just because you brought a piece of cardboard shaped like a sword and covered with tinfoil... my immersion isn't going to be helped.
On the other hand, a player who brings a fully fledged newspaper of the articles you wrote up for your campaign the week before, complete with a photoshop-created picture of the image you verbally relayed at the time and suitable adverts on his own initiative is positively awesome...
Engages the DM in a very aggressive way about everything that negatively affects his character, but turns out to be wrong most of the time. A real nasty subspecies 'defends' the characters of other players as well, so the DM gets to experience the joy of defending his actions against this guy a couple of times each round.
Unless the DM cuts him off after one or two incidents, most of the session is spent argueing.
I'm the guy that got really down whenever the dice didn't fall my way. A string of bad rolls pretty much would make me stop caring about what was going on, answer questions/speak curtly, and generally just bring down the fun level of the group.
Here's the thing: I didn't realize how much of a downer I was to the table until a DM called me on my behavior.
It was a wake up call. Did it bother me to be called out on my behavior, sure, it even hurt my feelings a bit. Now I still have the occasional bout of poor gamesmanship during a session, but since I've become aware of my issues, I work harder at consciously keeping them in check. The result is that I have more fun during the sessions because everyone is having more fun.
It's amusing to complain about poor gaming habits and annoying players. But if the player doesn't realize they are being annoying, then how are they going to learn to stop the behavior that upsets other players?
Sometimes people just need to be told to stop being annoying.
Fortunately he's not there every session, so we do get a reprieve. Unfortunately, he's the only rogue/skillmonkey, so I've had to fill that roll for the party.
I'm a monk. A monk. DM taught us last session why this is sub-optimal, we all got poisoned. Gonna see what happens next session, but I expect there'll be issues. We're unlikely to get much money from this little interlude- but what money we get I'm putting towards antitoxins.
Not counting the antitoxins we're getting from the loot, what with poison using goblins and all.
Anyways, the annoying player is the sort who runs a rogue because it means he can be a dick to everyone, and basically do whatever he wants, rather then any inherent desire to use the class.
Not that I'm against playing classes you identify with, I just wish he'd home in on the party-as-allies dynamic and stop frigging stealing from us. We all know it's him, even if he slight-of-hands successfully. He's a good thief, but not so good with the lying.
But I really don't know how to deal with him as a player. I've tried talking to him, but he usually gets defensive, angry, and the like. It's just difficult- and I don't want to confront him to the point of distrupting the session, or having him RAGEQUIT! or the like.
The player spent an hour arguing with another player (who was playing a samurai) that he was roleplaying his character wrong. He insisted that (because he watched sooooo much anime) he knew all about samurai and japanese culture and that a "real" samurai wouldn't act like that. A month later the same guy (now an elf) and the other guy (a thri-kreen) got so angry that he stopped playing for a while due to the kreen trying to eat him every time the elf got hurt.
The buddy sat and sulked for 3 sessions after his character was punished for not following an order. The party was helping out a crime syndicate by kidnapping a priest. They were told to keep it quiet and not to be seen. The guy walked right into the temple during mass, punched the priest in the face until he passed out, tossed him over his shoulder, and left. The crime boss then told him because he can't seem to be quiet, he'd help him learn how: he ordered another PC to hold the idiot while the boss cut his tongue out. I, as DM, refused to let the guy reroll.
So to sum up:
The guy who insists he knows the right way to RP OTHER people's characters.
The guy who gets upset when he gets called on his actions because he shouldn't have to take responsibility.
I ban evil PCs. Period, end of discussion, no appeals. This is always made very clear at character creation, right at the top of the document I always print up with house rules, theme, world details, and so forth.
Now this guy, literally, will only play evil PCs. Not even able to do the 'neutral by virtue of being a good guy who happens to be a craphead'. He must be evil. You would think he would simply not play in a game that says evil PCs are forbidden.
No, he made a character and proceeded to do everything in his power to kill the game. His character would not do anything helpful, at all. He ran around in faux panic during fights, waving his hands and going 'aaaaaaaaah' in dull surprise, alerting people the group was trying to sneak past, insulting people the party is trying to parley with, and so forth.
Fortunately, he seemed to have worn out his welcome with all the local gamers except his little clique of 'OMG the psychopaths r kuul' munchkins and I haven't seen him since.
10. Players that need to take a smoke every 5 minutes. You can actually see him stressing out and you have to halt the game for a smoking break.
What? "Halt the game." What's that? I'm sorry, but if someone needs to feed their Frankenstein, it won't be at the expense of anyone else. And don't come back in and interrupt the game by asking "What'd I miss?". It's bad enough having to sit next to someone who smells like an ashtray.
Big annoyance. DMs who refuse to give up the big chair, even when they're on the other side of the screen. The world you've conceptualized isn't the same as the one that they have. As a result, every hour or so, they pipe up with something akin to "An ogre village with a smithy? That's beyond their technological level". And my answer, invariably, is "Not in my world, now shut the **** up."
Then there's the player who views the rulebooks as carved on stone tablets and delivered from the mount.
Player: "My rogue is going to buy some shurikens."
DM: "There are no shurikens. They just don't fit in with the flavor of the campaign. Instead, list them as throwing daggers, with all of the stats of shurikens."
Player: "But the weight for a dagger is heavier and the range is shorter."
DM: "That's for a dagger which you are able to use in melee combat. These are throwing daggers, specifically designed and weighted for such purpose."
Player: "But what about powers that key off the use of shurikens?"
DM: "Those same powers now key off of throwing daggers."
Player (looking despondent): "The books say that I can have shurikens."
DM: "Not in my world, now shut the **** up."
And a cry of outrage goes up as several forum-goers rush to take up their torches and pitchforks. "Oh, what a bad person you are, ruling your game in draconian fashion and speaking to your players thusly. It is truly a wonder anyone games with you at all!" I don't actually say that. The examples cited above are artistic license, now shut the **** up.
There's the normal sneak thief thet takes it from you and then there's one PC
26(ish?). The accounting thief. A PC took it unto himself to be the person that writes down the treasure gained and distribute at the end of an adventure. However not all the treasure he wrote down got evenlt distributed. We found this out when he was reading back the loot from a haul and I as DM asked, confused "What happened to the 5000gp Gem and 2400gp Tiara" (The Tiara was going to be a plot device). The other players dicovered the cheat and tossed him out of the party. Literally. They were on a boat and threw him into the water.
and one more
27. The obvious thief that uses the words "But your character doesn't know I stole that". That's fine, my wizard didn't see your thief in the room when he unleashed fireball either.
What? "Halt the game." What's that? I'm sorry, but if someone needs to feed their Frankenstein, it won't be at the expense of anyone else. And don't come back in and interrupt the game by asking "What'd I miss?". It's bad enough having to sit next to someone who smells like an ashtray.
Big annoyance. DMs who refuse to give up the big chair, even when they're on the other side of the screen. The world you've conceptualized isn't the same as the one that they have. As a result, every hour or so, they pipe up with something akin to "An ogre village with a smithy? That's beyond their technological level". And my answer, invariably, is "Not in my world, now shut the **** up."
Then there's the player who views the rulebooks as carved on stone tablets and delivered from the mount.
Player: "My rogue is going to buy some shurikens."
DM: "There are no shurikens. They just don't fit in with the flavor of the campaign. Instead, list them as throwing daggers, with all of the stats of shurikens."
Player: "But the weight for a dagger is heavier and the range is shorter."
DM: "That's for a dagger which you are able to use in melee combat. These are throwing daggers, specifically designed and weighted for such purpose."
Player: "But what about powers that key off the use of shurikens?"
DM: "Those same powers now key off of throwing daggers."
Player (looking despondent): "The books say that I can have shurikens."
DM: "Not in my world, now shut the **** up."
And a cry of outrage goes up as several forum-goers rush to take up their torches and pitchforks. "Oh, what a bad person you are, ruling your game in draconian fashion and speaking to your players thusly. It is truly a wonder anyone games with you at all!" I don't actually say that. The examples cited above are artistic license, now shut the **** up.
I laughed heartily at that.
Back in a 3.5 campaign we had a player who was playing a druid and horribly so. He wanted to to engage dire wolves in melee while wielding a long bow, then complain about getting hurt all the time. He didn't want to burn the undead we had just offed, because it might set the plains on fire, even after he asked if it had rained, and the DM had said it had. He would frequently argue rules with other people, including the DM, one example includes a swarm type creature attacking him and him casting cure poison / cure disease then complaining that it wasn't working when the whole friggin' party told him it wouldn't and held the "well it should because I said it should" attitude. He constantly sidetracked the game with conspiracy theories (Hitler's Ninja body guard, and so on), and his political views. Sadly I think the real reason that campaign died off was because of him, and it was a darn good campaign too!
My friends, the barbarian and the war priest, held down the ranger and made him watch while I pulled the arrows out of his quiver, one at a time, and broke every single one of them. For the big finish, when the arrows were all gone, we took away his bow and set it on fire. It went poof!
No more problem. He learned his lesson.
PtM
This has, sadly, proven accurate thus far in my experience.
Tangent: I know I can be sort of an annoying player, I get really bitter when I feel things have been stacked against me or the party in general. Other times, I tend to help the DM more than the players, earning me death glares. :embarrass
(OT: When I first saw the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be helpful hints on how to annoy your players...)
Players that leave pieces of pizza boxes around, and complain about me smoking cigarettes. I mean, be more clean whit my house, I -maybe- will be less nervous and smoke less.
(Half) jokes aside, I have once tryed to figure out how many players I had. I lost the count after the first 50 or so. More than 300 characters. This, 11 years ago.
Now, I think to have seen everything players can do, and thanks to all of this I managed, trough the years, to find often that little clear sight that allow to run games smoothly, deal whit problem players, and so on. Still, I find that manuals like the last DMG 4th, or the good storyteller's handbook of the last version of the masquerade have lot of good suggestions for both old and new DMs. One never stop to learn new tricks...
After this little introduction, some funny missing people:
- The absent.
Really like Mark form the Gamers movie, this guy show up (if ever) once in a while, mostly for just one or two encounter, and next he disappear.
Really annoying not for his absence, but for the fact that he regularly end too low level in respect to others, and also make encounter preparation and balancing a nightmare.
- The absent (2).
"It's your turn! What do you do?"
"...nothing."
"Are you sure? not ever your basic attack?"
"...well...hummm... I do nothing. Can't I!?" (become upset)
- The like-absent.
"It's your turn! What do you do, young elf?"
"I cry for my mom!"
"...Really?"
"Yes! I'm RoLepLAYNG!"
- The Striker Diplomat.
"I talk to the cabal leader! Can I gain an upper rank?"
"You have done nothing for the cabal..."
"But I have diplomacy!"
"And... hu... like... 6 charisma."
- the Striker Diplomat (2).
"I talk to the cabal leader! Can I gain an upper rank?"
"You have done nothing for the cabal. In fact, the leader doesn't ever show up."
"I kill them ALL until he show up! The cabal is soooo coool (/grant such-and-such power)! I wish to join!"
- the Striker Diplomat (3):
"I talk to him. Being a proud Knight, and Noble, I explain in a very elegant manner that we're the good guy. Can I roll Diplomacy?"
"Sure."
"...21"
"...How's unlucky! The target DC was 25. Sorry."
"Damn! I rolled a natural 20!"
"..."
- The Copycat Movie:
he just find any damn week a new movie/ comic/ book/ videogame hero and he wish his character to be identical. But whitout losing his previous story. Often by retraining the last 10 levels.
So you end up whit a Barbarian Striking Scorpion (WH40k), fighting whit 2 axes (The patriot) identical to Vin Diesel, robotic (Iron Man). Often combined whit power player-like attitude. So he's also a wizard hunter that shoot disintegrate rays from his eyes.
It's duty of the DM to find a way to explain this, because the player explain them as wishes but does not have idea on how his character actually end up whit this mix.
-The Return of the Copycat Movie:
What's a bad movie whitout a sequel? The guy above, after having received a clear "NO" to his character changes, ask to change character. Each week.
The first week his old barbarian go away and a proud elf in green armor show up.
The next one, he return to his mysterious "craftworld", and he's substituted by the barbarian's brother, that fight whit 2 axes, and is identical to Vin Diesel.
The third week, Vin have something to do back home (maybe a better movie), and Iron Man come to cover his absence.
... tired. More later, when my memory will open up and all of the horrors I lived will reveal themself... :D
Definitely tame compared to other examples, but the Lord of the Dice is the type who doesn't even know where to buy loaded dice and still crits on every other roll. This player rolls well on all attacks and generally plays a striker to capitalize on their freakish damage output abilities. Is capable of turning a challenging and dramatic encounter into a cakewalk with all of his damage done to enemies. Fighting the BBEG with all of his men? Not expecting to come back alive? Not with the Lord on your side, by then you're wondering if you should be fighting Orcus at level 10. Can turn a party chaotic evil with his sheer power, you see, once they figure out that nobody can stand against them, they'll be robbing shopkeeps and killing guardsmen in no time. We had one in a party of mine, I was afraid of those rolls for sure.
- The Copycat Movie:
he just find any damn week a new movie/ comic/ book/ videogame hero and he wish his character to be identical. But whitout losing his previous story. Often by retraining the last 10 levels.
So you end up whit a Barbarian Striking Scorpion (WH40k), fighting whit 2 axes (The patriot) identical to Vin Diesel, robotic (Iron Man). Often combined whit power player-like attitude. So he's also a wizard hunter that shoot disintegrate rays from his eyes.
It's duty of the DM to find a way to explain this, because the player explain them as wishes but does not have idea on how his character actually end up whit this mix.
-The Return of the Copycat Movie:
What's a bad movie whitout a sequel? The guy above, after having received a clear "NO" to his character changes, ask to change character. Each week.
The first week his old barbarian go away and a proud elf in green armor show up.
The next one, he return to his mysterious "craftworld", and he's substituted by the barbarian's brother, that fight whit 2 axes, and is identical to Vin Diesel.
The third week, Vin have something to do back home (maybe a better movie), and Iron Man come to cover his absence.
I had a player who was like this with Japanime cartoons. Every stinkin' character he came up with just a character from a Japanime show. They all had clones of themselves, too. If his PC died, "Good thing he had sent his clone in his place."
31. The player that always plays a 3.5 Paladin / Shadowbane Inquisitor, even if not playing D&D.
A harlot in the streets? This town must burn for its sins!
Someone whose dice manage to land everywhere in the room except three feet in front of him on a flat surface. The dice will go everywhere - into a crevice, on the floor, beneath the couch, into the fireplace, into a bag of cheetos, straight into someone's lap. Everywhere except the flat table in front of him.
Also, someone before mentioned a rules lawyer that is always wrong. Sadly, my group still has one of them. Every session tends to end with a big argument over whether or not this ability works the way he wants it to. It's a real pain playing with him, because he's wrong over 75% of the time, and yet he'll still get into huge arguments over nothing. Even when faced with evidence (IE page references and the open page SITTING TWO FEET IN FRONT OF HIM), he'll continue to claim he's right.
I myself am guilty of this one. He isn't so bad, runs a good character etc, plays nice and friendly but then when you get to a fight or some such situation he starts taking over the DMs role. It is okay to let some1 else track initiative but helping the Monsters kill the players? Constantly reminding the DM of the monsters regeneration. Suggesting better tactics for the monsters (hey they should be trying to flank the wizard and kill him off)
29. The Lord of the Dice
Definitely tame compared to other examples, but the Lord of the Dice is the type who doesn't even know where to buy loaded dice and still crits on every other roll. This player rolls well on all attacks and generally plays a striker to capitalize on their freakish damage output abilities. Is capable of turning a challenging and dramatic encounter into a cakewalk with all of his damage done to enemies. Fighting the BBEG with all of his men? Not expecting to come back alive? Not with the Lord on your side, by then you're wondering if you should be fighting Orcus at level 10. Can turn a party chaotic evil with his sheer power, you see, once they figure out that nobody can stand against them, they'll be robbing shopkeeps and killing guardsmen in no time. We had one in a party of mine, I was afraid of those rolls for sure.
hahahahahahahaha this is me and it is AMAZING
33) The DM
I myself am guilty of this one. He isn't so bad, runs a good character etc, plays nice and friendly but then when you get to a fight or some such situation he starts taking over the DMs role. It is okay to let some1 else track initiative but helping the Monsters kill the players? Constantly reminding the DM of the monsters regeneration. Suggesting better tactics for the monsters (hey they should be trying to flank the wizard and kill him off)
TO BE FAIR; I am this player, and I don't think it's annoying, and neither do the other players. I am a player with some of the people I DM for in other games, and when I DM for them, I remind them of their own abilities and bonuses and I really respect them when they do the same for me. I respect players when a rules-lawyer pops up and then the other players stick up on my side and shut him up so we can keep playing. If you're really THAT serious that you wouldn't remind the DM of things they're forgetting, you need to stop playing and lighten up.
DM - "Oh, I forgot about the Wall of Fire."
Player - "Too late! I didn't get burned by it!"
That's the REALLY annoying part.
34. The Magician
With a little bit of prestidigitation and a skillful mage hand spell, the dice always lands on an 18 or higher. It's nigh impossible to catch this player, but it becomes obvious that this player is doing it. They'll roll behind their hand, or scoop up the dice as soon as it stops, on top of sitting as far from the DM as physically possible. Warning: a magician will become incredibly defensive if you insinuate that they may be working their magic or if you ask them to sit closer to you.
TO BE FAIR; I am this player, and I don't think it's annoying, and neither do the other players. I am a player with some of the people I DM for in other games, and when I DM for them, I remind them of their own abilities and bonuses and I really respect them when they do the same for me. I respect players when a rules-lawyer pops up and then the other players stick up on my side and shut him up so we can keep playing. If you're really THAT serious that you wouldn't remind the DM of things they're forgetting, you need to stop playing and lighten up.
DM - "Oh, I forgot about the Wall of Fire."
Player - "Too late! I didn't get burned by it!"
That's the REALLY annoying part.
That is a relief, I guess it was really just the one player that took offense at it, my gf.
Which brings me to:
35) The add-on
An amalgam of previously mentioned types. They play just because their SO plays. This results in people who don't bother learning the rules and have to be told what to do all the time. They end up dragging the original player in as well.
Player: I **** on him.
DM: He... wait you what?!
Player: I **** on him.
This was only the straw that broken the camel's back.
Also, someone before mentioned a rules lawyer that is always wrong. Sadly, my group still has one of them. Every session tends to end with a big argument over whether or not this ability works the way he wants it to. It's a real pain playing with him, because he's wrong over 75% of the time, and yet he'll still get into huge arguments over nothing. Even when faced with evidence (IE page references and the open page SITTING TWO FEET IN FRONT OF HIM), he'll continue to claim he's right.
I encountered one during the PHB2 gameday, while I was the DM. I was really surprised, as I have had my share of rules-lawyers but never as hard-core as this one. It got so bad, I got an e-mail from the store-owner who expressed his regrets and asked if I was still willing to run the RPGA-game next week.
Indeed, the fact that my rulings were supported by the books and possibly by other players did not seem any reason for him to consider that he might have been wrong. I politely addressed him on his behavior after two incidents, but that didn't help. I stopped 'proving' my points rather quickly, as it didn't matter anyway, and tuned him out. In hindsight, after talking to him didn't work out, I should have asked him to leave.
Of course, I'll still be running that RPGA-game next week.
34. The Magician
With a little bit of prestidigitation and a skillful mage hand spell, the dice always lands on an 18 or higher. It's nigh impossible to catch this player, but it becomes obvious that this player is doing it. They'll roll behind their hand, or scoop up the dice as soon as it stops, on top of sitting as far from the DM as physically possible. Warning: a magician will become incredibly defensive if you insinuate that they may be working their magic or if you ask them to sit closer to you.
Been there, DMed that. Not with my regular group, but when I run one shot games at my FLGS or back in the day when I used to DM conventions, before all of the local ones dried up and blew away. The solution here is easy. Shut 'em down. Make it known beforehand, "Even though you're aware of the initiative order, and have it in your mind what your character is going to do, I'm going to ask for a declaration of intent at the beginning of your turn, then you make any applicable rolls. Not before. If you roll a die before promted, the result will not count and you'll have to reroll. Leaners will be rerolled."
This slows down play only a little, but insures that nothing else should be going on at the time. And all eyes are on the questionable roller...
All too often, people only do the right thing when they have no other choice.
Big annoyance. DMs who refuse to give up the big chair, even when they're on the other side of the screen. The world you've conceptualized isn't the same as the one that they have. As a result, every hour or so, they pipe up with something akin to "An ogre village with a smithy? That's beyond their technological level". And my answer, invariably, is "Not in my world, now shut the **** up."
Then there's the player who views the rulebooks as carved on stone tablets and delivered from the mount.
Player: "My rogue is going to buy some shurikens."
DM: "There are no shurikens. They just don't fit in with the flavor of the campaign. Instead, list them as throwing daggers, with all of the stats of shurikens."
Player: "But the weight for a dagger is heavier and the range is shorter."
DM: "That's for a dagger which you are able to use in melee combat. These are throwing daggers, specifically designed and weighted for such purpose."
Player: "But what about powers that key off the use of shurikens?"
DM: "Those same powers now key off of throwing daggers."
Player (looking despondent): "The books say that I can have shurikens."
DM: "Not in my world, now shut the **** up."
And a cry of outrage goes up as several forum-goers rush to take up their torches and pitchforks. "Oh, what a bad person you are, ruling your game in draconian fashion and speaking to your players thusly. It is truly a wonder anyone games with you at all!" I don't actually say that. The examples cited above are artistic license, now shut the **** up.
It's obviously key to stick to your personal world; your players cannot dictate the world YOU created. However, when it comes to minor alterations like the shuriken (that is, unless there is a specific reason your world doesn't have them), I'd rule in favour of the player. Both having shuriken and adhering to the rules are obviously big deals to him, so if it doesn't impede on your story, try to play along.
I had a player who was like this with Japanime cartoons. Every stinkin' character he came up with just a character from a Japanime show. They all had clones of themselves, too. If his PC died, "Good thing he had sent his clone in his place."
Gaming with two-and-a-half anime geeks (two geeks, one kinda-fan), I'm amazed I haven't had to deal with this more often. Fortunately, I have gotten rid of one who would do things like take damage from five-gallon nosebleeds if he saw a pretty girl, or claim he couldn't escape from any grab involving tentacles.
This player deconstructs everything - literally! Loose papers, erasers or disposable cups that pass within arms reach are promptly broken down to as small of pieces as possible. Dice containers are subsumed by his/her nervous fingers. Even things you couldn't imagine will be lost - chairs, picture frames - you will learn that anything can be destroyed.
And don't let shcler get a hold of a lighter, or you'll see minis go up in flames.
Worst thing is, they aren't even aware of what they're doing most of the time.
It's obviously key to stick to your personal world; your players cannot dictate the world YOU created. However, when it comes to minor alterations like the shuriken (that is, unless there is a specific reason your world doesn't have them), I'd rule in favour of the player. Both having shuriken and adhering to the rules are obviously big deals to him, so if it doesn't impede on your story, try to play along.
My thinking on this is that, of the weapons listed in the PHB, shurikens come in from left field. The weapons have a western feel, then here comes this lonely asian influence. For me, it doesn't quite fit. Now, if they were to rehash Kara-Tur...
Of course, I could always refluff them to be a racially influenced weapon. I could definitely see something like them in the dragonborn's arsenal, similar to the way they were retooled for thri-kreen.
But in the long run, I just decided to go with throwing daggers. Different fluff, same crunchy bits. On the all-too-rare occasions when I actually get to be a player rather than a DM, I'm willing to go along with tweaks to the rules, playing within the boundaries of the DMs concept. Happily so, in fact. Unless you're playing some incredibly stripped down, vanilla game, each DMs game is essentially a separate campaign setting, and the exploration of that setting is half the fun.
And as an aside, how does everyone feel about racially flavored weapons (fluff only)? Look at the artwork. Dragonborn weapons look different than elven weapons, which look different than tiefling weapons. I'm personally of the opinion that each race would prefer to use the weapons of their own kind, whether it's due to familiarity, racial pride, whatever, rather than every character who wields a longsword having the generic brand. I see a distinction between characters in an RPG and those in a video game, who never give a second's thought to tossing aside one weapon in favor of a better one. Of course, I do see the desire to have a better weapon (although I make it a point not to run a char-op game.) I'm loathe to do anything to change the crunch here, as I feel it's completely unwarranted. Perhaps some kind of low-level ritual to refluff the weapon? That seems kind of cheesy.
Well, Haggis, an attempt to clarify my position seems to have led to a post that's better suited for the DM's forum. Well, if they move it, maybe I'll see you there.
My thinking on this is that, of the weapons listed in the PHB, shurikens come in from left field. The weapons have a western feel, then here comes this lonely asian influence. For me, it doesn't quite fit. Now, if they were to rehash Kara-Tur...
Well...normally I get annoyed by people who do this, but here's a quote from Reference.com:
Shuriken (手裏剣; lit: "sword hidden in the hand") is a traditional Japanese concealed weapon that were generally used...for throwing, and sometimes stabbing or slashing. They are sharpened hand-held blades made from a variety of everyday items such as needles, nails, and knives, as well as coins, washers, and other flat plates of metal.
They're really just easily concealed throwing blades. And, given the choice between calling such things 'throwing daggers' (which limits the form a player could choose for their weapon) and 'shuriken' (a general descriptor for all manner of projectiles), I'd go with the latter.
The Refusing DM
Players who, after several years of playing, refuse to DM because, as they claim "I'm no writer and you're incredibly good at it." And before you feel thankful for the compliment on your DM skills, you get that nagging feeling that he/she is just lazy and you won't be playing your idea for a dashing swashbuckler character (not if you don't want to steal the payers' thunder, anyway) for another year.
But I really don't know how to deal with him as a player. I've tried talking to him, but he usually gets defensive, angry, and the like. It's just difficult- and I don't want to confront him to the point of distrupting the session, or having him RAGEQUIT! or the like.
Get a bag of gold coins that are all dirty and of dubious value. Have them all covered in the most deadly contact and injested poisons you can get ahold of. INvariably when the DM describes them to the rogue saying they are hard to identify or place a value on he will attempt to appraise them, wipe them off and of course test to see if they are really gold by biting on them etc.
Poison effects are accumulative, so discuss this with the DM so that he won't roll the poison effects until he handles all the coins. Watch him get 100 doses of different poisons from counting his ill gotten gains.
Every time there was a monster, we would use them and hope they did something good. In short, our party hated us.
It got to the point that we were versing a big demon thing (might have been a Balor, can't remember too well) and were still using it. Every time one of our turns started, the rest of the group would yell at us, even before we said anything.
On the plus side, the other player who was using a Rod of Wonder rolled the thing that makes you think another effect is cast. He thought he was invisible, and tried to sneak around the aforementioned demon. He. Got. Told.
Is convinced with every roll of the GM's damage dice that he is about to die. Every time he gets hit he declares loudly "That's it, I'm dead." We have one of these. In three years of gaming with him, he has not lost a single character, except in the game of Paranoia XP when he got tired of people picking on him and shot himself in the head six times (and one Star Wars SAGA game in which he should have died in the first session but didn't because we were still learning the rules).
The Man With No Name
Or at least, the man with a very boring name. His characters' names are monosyllabic and thoroughly undescriptive. We used to have one of these, until he metamorphosed into...
The Jinxed One
His dice hate the PCs. If he's a player, they always roll badly. If he's the GM, they always roll well. This happens even if his dice are rigged.
The Enthusiast
Lives for gaming. Spends all of his waking hours thinking about and preparing for the game. Whines pathetically when you tell him that gaming's been canceled this week (incidentally, our one of these is out of town on 35% of our game days).
The Simmers
They play The Sims 2. They talk about the Sims 2 with each other. Loudly. At length. While sitting on opposite ends of the table. One of them is my wife, and to my shame, I bought her the bloody game and all its expansions, so I blame myself for this phenomenon at our table.
The Know-It-All
Claims to know everything there is to know about every subject that comes up at the table. We have three of these. I'm the least annoying one, because I'm the only one who's ever admitted to being wrong about something, and also I'm not excessively dogmatic.
The Center of Attention
If you are not devoting your attention to 'the game' (which in practice means him, especially if he's the GM) then you have no business being at the table. If he's the GM, he tries to ban you from bringing your laptop to the table, even if you have environmental objections to using paper character sheets.
The Guy Who Doesn't Go Outside to Smoke
He is the only smoker in the group. He either goes to the window or the patio door and stands in it, completely oblivious to the fact that the airflow is actually coming into the room, not going out of it.
The Scary Army Sociopath
Mentions casually that he kills people and blows up buildings and vehicles for a living. Talks about weapons incessantly. Has obvious contempt for all civilians and takes charge of the session because everyone else is obviously tactically incompetent.
The Bigot
Has nothing nice to say about any ethnic or social group other than his own, and says it at some length. Regularly accuses random people at the table of being gay.
The Priest of Chuck
Has every Chuck Norris joke ever told memorized and believes that every one of them is true.
The Misfit
Deliberately makes characters who don't fit into the setting or the group. If the game is based on something he is unfamiliar with, he makes no attempt to familiarize himself with it (in our case, in a Mutants & Masterminds game based on Heroes, the guy decided to play a 700-year-old German with a magic sword who was cursed with immortality by a witch... and who was also an assassin, in a party with an explicit 'bag-and-tag, keep the body count low' mandate. And who wouldn't listen when I told him 'no,' and is bigger and scarier than me so I couldn't very well tell him that he wasn't allowed to play if he didn't change his character concept).
The Maligned Innocent
Will never admit that a problem in the group is his fault even if it is blatantly obvious that it is. Attempts to turn the tables on his accuser if called on his behavior, and makes a play of hurt feelings if this doesn't work.
In our group, the last eight types apply to the same person. As do several other types already mentioned.
Get rid of that player...I used to be a smoker (recently quit...again...) and I would never smoke in someones house where it was not acceptable and the host themselves were not smoking...Your player seems rude...
This one hates having to roll the dice, because they don't want to ever fail. EVER. They spend several minutes describing just how they are going to do any action, and how they are prepared for X, X, or X to happen, so if it does, they can argue that it shouldn't effect them.
The one I played with was the groups rogue. Examining a door with her easily took 5+ minutes.
DM: There is door at the end of the hallway.
Rogue: I approach cautiously. I'm checking all the walls and floor and ceiling as I approach, tapping gently, listening for hollow sounds, to see if the flag stones are discolored, if any are raised higher then the others. Does it look like the ceiling is going to fall down in any spot? Is the floor dusty, and if so, does it look like there are any spots where it's been disturbed? Do I smell anything that would make me think of poison?
DM: (Not bothering to even roll any dice) No. You are at the door. What do you do?
Rogue: Hold up, I don't actually go right up to the door. I stop about ten feet away, and search for any traps.
DM: From ten feet away? You can't search the door ten feet away.
Rogue: I can visually. I look for pinholes near the lock, or if the handle is covered with anything.
DM: You have to move up to the door to try and detect anything like that.
And so on, and so on. When it finally would get to the point that she had to roll the dice, it would be hilarious, because after all that, she tended to roll a lot of ones. Karma I guess.
Oh and she is one those 5 pound bag of dice, spend 30 minutes before the game starts finding out which ones are rolling well. Any that gave her a lot of 20's she used.
Which is silly. She's rolled all the 20's out, she should use the ones that came up one. They are still chocked full of 20's.
@ ChristheS
Get rid of that player...I used to be a smoker (recently quit...again...) and I would never smoke in someones house where it was not acceptable and the host themselves were not smoking...Your player seems rude...
My only issue with smokers are the really bad smokers, who lose all manners when it comes to smoking. They just always get up and walk away, and smoke. And when you try and call them back for their turn, they just don't hear you. I've known several like this.
Thankfully no one in my current group smokes. But yes, smoking in someone's house without permission is wrong. I don't smoke. If someone smokes in my home, it takes a good week to get the smell out.
The Semi-Literate Name-Dropper
By which I mean, they have obviously read every book that involves a given character and can exhibit a great deal of knowledge about that character's lore... but somehow they never got the hang of correctly pronouncing that character's name.
In our group there are three people like this (well... actually I think there's only one, but he's infected two others). The biggest offendee is 'Raistlin,' which half of our group pronounces 'Wrasslin.' Being an amateur linguist, I find this sort of casual elision of diphthonic vowels to be more distressing than fingernails on a blackboard, but no amount of persuasion (or even pointed usage of the correct pronunciation) will induce them to adjust.
They also often need to be told the names of NPCs in game at least four or five times before they actually get it right -- and they usually write them down when they first hear them, and ask for the spelling!
The Condemned Paranoid
Is convinced with every roll of the GM's damage dice that he is about to die. Every time he gets hit he declares loudly "That's it, I'm dead." We have one of these. In three years of gaming with him, he has not lost a single character, except in the game of Paranoia XP when he got tired of people picking on him and shot himself in the head six times (and one Star Wars SAGA game in which he should have died in the first session but didn't because we were still learning the rules).
The Jinxed One
His dice hate the PCs. If he's a player, they always roll badly. If he's the GM, they always roll well. This happens even if his dice are rigged.
These two go together hand-in-hand. For some strange reason, we have a single die - an orange d20 - that is literally cursed. We have never seen it roll high for players, and it always rolls in the 15-20 range when in the hands of the GM. We call it the player-killer die.
Unfortunately...we don't always notice it when the GM takes hold of it. I'm incredibly surprised that we've only had 1 death in our few years of playing (It was my character, and it was the result of one of 3.5's utterly ridiculous 'save-or-die' spells).
Not to be confused with the character concept, the crusader is someone who rails against a very small or trivial thing, usually starts off with some valid arguments for or against something. I know this player because I am him, my issue is alignment, I'm vehemently opposed to that tiny little space on the character sheet, I feel like it saps my ability to do anything in-game, I can't help but feel like my rants against it are annoying to others.
The Zealot
Plays a character who is fervently devoted to something, as the name implies, it is usually a deity. Zealots who worship their country or race are not unheard of. At best, it can be interesting or even funny to listen to his fanatical rants, at worst, he becomes unbearable as he questions everyone for not subscribing to his system of beliefs. (I remember seeing this one on the worst players thread)
Alignment Nazi
The first thing he does is memorize everybody's alignment so that he can beat them over the head with it later. Tends to have an immensely warped view of alignment, he'll view any compliance with the law as against the beliefs of a chaotic alignment, even if it's good.
Mr. Anonymous
Guaranteed to be a member of a game's official forum. He'll play a game (online ones are preferred with these guys) find something he doesn't like about it, and go on the forums to whine about it. Every player in his group, except for him of course, will be on whatever version of the "worst players ever" thread that exists on the forums. The DM is of course, confined to the Crazy DM thread. Acts surprised when he finds out that his fellow players read the thread and discover their characters' names used in a retelling of their "atrocities." The online 4E campaigns I am in and have been in have been superb so far, I've talked about them on these forums, but I haven't whined about fellow players in the way that Mr. Anonymous does.
The Man With No Name
Or at least, the man with a very boring name. His characters' names are monosyllabic and thoroughly undescriptive. We used to have one of these, until he metamorphosed into...
Hahah at our table you can no longer have a name that is too similar to a monster name. I have a character named Drake (he has a full name which is not important to this story), who when next to the guard drakes in the initiative order (we use index cards to keep track) caused a bit of fuss.
I was going to name a guy Aboleth too. Oh well.
Ooh, got another one:
The Semi-Literate Name-Dropper
By which I mean, they have obviously read every book that involves a given character and can exhibit a great deal of knowledge about that character's lore... but somehow they never got the hang of correctly pronouncing that character's name.
In our group there are three people like this (well... actually I think there's only one, but he's infected two others). The biggest offendee is 'Raistlin,' which half of our group pronounces 'Wrasslin.' Being an amateur linguist, I find this sort of casual elision of diphthonic vowels to be more distressing than fingernails on a blackboard, but no amount of persuasion (or even pointed usage of the correct pronunciation) will induce them to adjust.
They also often need to be told the names of NPCs in game at least four or five times before they actually get it right -- and they usually write them down when they first hear them, and ask for the spelling!
The semi-educated line-dropper
People who love to display their knowledge on any subject they don't really know all that much about. I, for instance, being a professional linguist, get particularly annoyed at people who believe it is impossible for any sequence of vowels to be pronounced as anything other than a diphthong. Beaulieu would be a great example. :D
And while that epithet could quite easily apply to me on a matter of other topics, linguistics is most assuredly not one of them.
Basically, byou-ly.
At least when Gaelic uses extraneous letters it does it consistently...
Which is admittedly not the worst place name ever conceived of, that dubious honor belonging definitively to the Welsh...
We are talking about the country which invented the word 'Worcestershire,' which has gone on to plague aspiring chefs the world over.
Which is admittedly not the worst place name ever conceived of, that dubious honor belonging definitively to the Welsh...
We did it to confuse invaders... it didn't work.
The Priest of Chuck
Has every Chuck Norris joke ever told memorized and believes that every one of them is true.
I had one of these one time. To amuse him, I put an incarnation of Pun-pun in our game and had him beat the living **** out of a guy that tried to land a roundhouse kick every round (Chuck Norris). The guy was like "that's impossible! Chuck always hits and instantly kills his target with the roundhouse kick!" I told him Pun-pun (who I called "Bob") had an infinite Constitution score, so he could survive any hit, no matter how strong, no matter what the strength/intelligence/charisma score of the character was. That pretty much stopped the Chuck jokes. I can still hear "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries" ringing in my head after so long.
My thinking on this is that, of the weapons listed in the PHB, shurikens come in from left field. The weapons have a western feel, then here comes this lonely asian influence. For me, it doesn't quite fit. Now, if they were to rehash Kara-Tur...
It really is how the DM's guide describes the Katana, it's essentially a Master Worked Bastard Sword for all intents and purposes, only it's description and flavour is changed.
Shurikens are just small sharp throwing knifes of various designs (sharpened coins, disks, stars, knives etc. The book uses the word shurikens because it will be easily recognized, so keeping them flavoured as "small throwing knives" makes sense, after all that is literally what Shurikens are.
i had one.
we play 3.5
a 16 year old male, who wanted to play, but didn't seem to want to learn. he suusally wants contradictory concepts, such as sneaky dual zanbatou wielding tanking healers with a full B.a.B. full sneak attack, and high hit points, he wanted to start with 18 in every stat.
he tried a paladin first, and failed, so DM told me to help him swap characters (i was told to make his new character) so now he's a rogue and can't seem to get combat advantage, because he doesn't have the most basic grasp of tactics and doesn't want to flank, instead he pull abilities out of his arse, that everyone else knows the rules don't allow, (Such as Sharingan Eyes). he thinks that they're are higher tier non enchnated items that he should be proficient in for free, such as Katana that deal 6d6 damage as a medium weapon with a 15-20x7 crit multiplier and is a light melee weapon. for free. and he should have 2. and they should be unbreakable.
i can't seem to explain concepts such as balance and DM approval, (this is my sunday group, where you could kill a rare (i mean common) 250 pound desert bird and get 100 gold a pound, 25,000 gold. (in thier home desert nation) these birds come in pairs which means 50,000 gold per encounter. not to mention a level one character can defeat them. and salvage the meat.)
when he made a character, went through 18 distractions and 3 hours. he breaks the 4th wall. he sees an active computer, he plays with it without asking cause it's there. he sees a handheld electronic at the table, he's gotta play it. he sees a flashy anime on TV. he's gotta watch it. i have to type up my characters. so the PC is a common distraction. he logs onto the net, i gotta log him off and drag him to the table. he picks up the DM's DS at the table, i gotta grab it and shut it off with saving.
my saturday group plays more by the book. (with minor tweaks to keep balance)
this example is from the sunday group. (2 different DM's)
The n00b with the short atention span.
i had one.
we play 3.5
a 16 year old male, who wanted to play, but didn't seem to want to learn. he suusally wants contradictory concepts, such as sneaky dual zanbatou wielding tanking healers with a full B.a.B. full sneak attack, and high hit points, he wanted to start with 18 in every stat.
he tried a paladin first, and failed, so DM told me to help him swap characters (i was told to make his new character) so now he's a rogue and can't seem to get combat advantage, because he doesn't have the most basic grasp of tactics and doesn't want to flank, instead he pull abilities out of his arse, that everyone else knows the rules don't allow, (Such as Sharingan Eyes). he thinks that they're are higher tier non enchnated items that he should be proficient in for free, such as Katana that deal 6d6 damage as a medium weapon with a 15-20x7 crit multiplier and is a light melee weapon. for free. and he should have 2. and they should be unbreakable.
i can't seem to explain concepts such as balance and DM approval, (this is my sunday group, where you could kill a rare (i mean common) 250 pound desert bird and get 100 gold a pound, 25,000 gold. (in thier home desert nation) these birds come in pairs which means 50,000 gold per encounter. not to mention a level one character can defeat them. and salvage the meat.)
my saturday group plays more by the book. (with minor tweaks to keep balance)
this example is from the sunday group. (2 different DM's)
This is less 'short attention span' and more 'anime fanboy'.
This is less 'short attention span' and more 'anime fanboy'.
Anime Fanboy with a short attention span to be exact, he can watch flashy anime like Naruto. but when asked to make a character, he gets easily distracted by anime, or the DM's shiny pink DS on the table. Lets say, the only anime he really follows is Naruto. (And anything similar) He also plays WoW. (which is why he chose a paladin. WoW Ubertank. D&D Paladin's are inferior to many other classes.)
He's a Narutard/WoW fanboy.
by short attention span, i mean he's easily distracted, especially by Anime, and Handheld Electronics. (well anything flashy to be exact)
Anime Fanboy with a short attention span to be exact, he can watch flashy anime like Naruto. but when asked to make a character, he gets easily distracted by anime, or the DM's shiny pink DS on the table. Lets say, the only anime he really follows is Naruto. (And anything similar) He also plays WoW. (which is why he chose a paladin. WoW Ubertank. D&D Paladin's are inferior to many other classes.)
He's a Narutard/WoW fanboy.
by short attention span, i mean he's easily distracted, especially by Anime, and Handheld Electronics. (well anything flashy to be exact)
Heh, I wonder how he'd take to Bettas?
Anything and everything this guy has will be homebrew, even if it's a class in the PHB, he'll have his own barbarian, his own bard, and a billion other made-up things for him. Good versions of this guy are possible, his builds can be interesting, his homespun races and magic weapons can be useful. They tend to be universal in their insistence on using homebrew and in their utter lack of comprehension as to why the DM is uneasy or shoots down their requests.
The ACLU Player
Completely and utterly fails to grasp the nature of the Player-DM relationship. Treats the DM like a totalitarian dictator bent on enslaving the minds of innocent players, calls the slightest DM advice railroading, and tends to have grand schemes about some players' bill of rights or something like that. The more books he has read about fascism or totalitarianism the more likely he is to start spouting off quotes about the smallest thing that equate them to the Holocaust. Is he a rebel without a cause? Or just an idiot? Since the two things are often synonymous, this guy is both.
The Quiet One
Every group has one, it's simply the world's most silent player and character, not much happens with him/her. The person will laugh at the jokes of the day, appear to be affected by dramatic campaign moments, but not much else. The character doesn't have much to say, usually a lone "wandering soldier" type who would be more appropriate for a Clint Eastwood film than DnD. Not much in the way of bad or good, just not much of anything at all; they come, they get the job done, and they leave, they treat DnD in a rather sterile manner and make the game a little less fun for everyone.
Lame Jokesman
I've been this guy during a session or two, but we all know who he is. Thinks that Lord Melvin the Flatulent (I did not do this), master of Stinking Cloud spell will be the toast of the session, gets a few chuckles the first time, one the next, and none for the next 8,000 times. Fond of making vulgar character names and starts cracking up whenever someone calls him by his full name of Mike Rotch, funny for a bit, wears out quick.
We are talking about the country which invented the word 'Worcestershire,' which has gone on to plague aspiring chefs the world over.
Which is admittedly not the worst place name ever conceived of, that dubious honor belonging definitively to the Welsh...
I once dealt regularly with a Ms. Betty Worcester. I tripped on her name several times before she said "It's pronounced Wooster, just like it's spelled." She had a strange sense of humor.
His character is going to be so awesome and dark and with mysterious past and he's not going to need any of the other party members, except maybe as a distraction. Usually it will be a cheap rip-off of a book or movie character. In some regions of Europe he'll want to play a Witcher, no matter the setting (I actually wanted to name it "Geralt-Wannabe").
The H4TER
He hates the system you're playing right now. He agreed to join "to see what it's like", but in fact he came to criticize.
At the start of any new campaign, always comes up with a concept that they insist is for flavor only.
[INDENT]I'm gonna be a gnome, who is a bit touched in the head. He wears a 5 foot long greatsword on his back, that he never uses, he just carries it around, it was one of his distant relatives. He thinks he's really brave, and does thing like runs up to the city guard and shouts things and makes challenges but then runs away and forgets he did this.[/INDENT]
I'm not kidding that was the actual idea. When all asked questions about it, and why, the player got really ****** off and was all, fine, you tell me what kind of character to make and how to play it, and I will.
We are talking about the country which invented the word 'Worcestershire,' which has gone on to plague aspiring chefs the world over.
Which is admittedly not the worst place name ever conceived of, that dubious honor belonging definitively to the Welsh...
I disagree: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu
The Quiet One
Every group has one, it's simply the world's most silent player and character, not much happens with him/her. The person will laugh at the jokes of the day, appear to be affected by dramatic campaign moments, but not much else. The character doesn't have much to say, usually a lone "wandering soldier" type who would be more appropriate for a Clint Eastwood film than DnD. Not much in the way of bad or good, just not much of anything at all; they come, they get the job done, and they leave, they treat DnD in a rather sterile manner and make the game a little less fun for everyone.
We had one of these in a group I was in. After several weeks of playing with him the rest of the group quickly noticed how he wasn't participating in anything other than basic combat.
It became a running joke in the group that every week somebody would turn to him during a particularly quiet moment and say "Would you please shut the **** up, we're trying to play here."
Unplayable Character Concept
At the start of any new campaign, always comes up with a concept that they insist is for flavor only.
[INDENT]I'm gonna be a gnome, who is a bit touched in the head. He wears a 5 foot long greatsword on his back, that he never uses, he just carries it around, it was one of his distant relatives. He thinks he's really brave, and does thing like runs up to the city guard and shouts things and makes challenges but then runs away and forgets he did this.[/INDENT]
I'm not kidding that was the actual idea. When all asked questions about it, and why, the player got really ****** off and was all, fine, you tell me what kind of character to make and how to play it, and I will.
Surely you've heard of the Invincible Hammer-wheel. And if not, I'll quote:
The Invincible Hammer-Wheel's power is that he has hammers for hands and wheels
for feet. Or it could have been wheels for hands and hammers for feet. The player
himself wasn't sure, but my mental picture of the character is a man with monster-
truck wheels plugged into where is arms should be, who drives up to villains and
kicks them with his sledgehammer feet
So whenever people bring up their "worst concept" horror-stories, all I have to say is, totally deadpan and monotone, "The Invincible Hammer-Wheel. He has hammers for hands and wheels for feet. He was born that way. He was raised by farm implements. He lives in the woods."
Surely you've heard of the Invincible Hammer-wheel. And if not, I'll quote:
At least invincible Hammer-wheel could do something with his background that provide useful.
So I come to find out, there was a new player, and he basically ruined the game. Here is the basics of the email I received explaining what happened.
- New player
- DM too nice and allows new player and new player has horrible hygiene
- new player wants a class that has high defenses, can do lots of damage to multiple targets.
- Other player's explain that said class doesn't really exist in 4th edition.
- New player claims it did in 3.5
- Other player's explain that 4th edition isn't too much like 3.5.
- New player wants to play a dwarf fighter
- DM explains that that isn't what the campaign is about and that you can only use the monster races from the back of the monstrous manual.
- New player wants to play an elf wizard/rogue.
- DM and other players repeat telling new player about the campaign and allowed races.
- Other players end up making (entire character sheet, powers the whole sheebang) the new player a character they think he would like (drow rogue)
- Adventure starts.
- Sword Mage walks down a hall, triggers a trap, doesn't get hit, so walks guardedly down the hall (total defense basically), triggers all the traps, doesn't get hit.
- Rogue wants to disable all the traps, after they are all triggered and haven't reset.
- New player is talking all the time to his little 'clique' or getting distracted by his phone (he had his headphones in the entire time apparently, other player was thinking he was expecting his call back for "Who wants to be a hobo?")
- New player doesn't help party with a hard encounter (party level + 3) and instead opens a door to another room and then another door that has another hard encounter waiting, and tries to stealth, yes stealth, in plain sight after open the door and having the monsters see him WoW style.
- TPK, campaign over.
- New player invites himself back
There is a lot more to it than that, but the list is getting much too long, but the last one really cheesed my cross shaped whole wheat cracker.
Now if he is there this coming weekend people are saying we won't play. I'm telling them we are playing and that if need be I will be the one to tell this person to go away.
So yeah that brings us to:
Mr. Allergic to a bar of soap
This player is the one who gives us gamers that horrible horrible stereotype of being unhygienic people who treat a bar of soap like it was the incarnation of death itself.
We've had to hold him at character-death-gun-point to get him to write down his feats, his stats, and the like. It got to the point, during our branch into SWd20, where ended up taking his character sheet away from him (bad practice, blah blah blah) and writing down all the stuff he needed to know myself.
Then about five minutes later he asks "What are my saving throws" and I defer him to his sheet. He replies with "I don't remember those being there- and they're too low for a soldier"
He wasn't running a soldier. He was running a force adept.
Sigh.
During a funny moment in a serious game, the whole group gets a good laugh because of something stupid/silly that someone says or does. Now, back on with the decidedly serious campaign, this player will NOT let the moment go. Almost every time he opens his mouth it's to remind everyone of that stupid/silly event, as though nobody got it, or that we want to hear the same punch line over and over again.
I'D LOVE TO STAY AND CHAT, BUT...
This player starts a game but bails out halfway through because he suddenly remembers that he wants to go hang around with another friend.
Again, both of these types I can tie to one player.
Against type: You're playing a classic high fantasy game, and he wants to run a warforged with rocket fists. You're playing a SW game and he wants to run a DnD druid. You're playing a commoner campaign and he wants to run an awakened housecat.
I wouldn't call this so much 'against type' as simply 'wrong game'. Against type is, like, a polite dwarf wizard.
1. Automatically dislikes anything in a game that does not seem "fantasy" enough to him, always against guns, warforged, and mechanical constructs of that sort. Can make for both a horrible DM and an insufferable player, the best ones are quiet about it.
Crazy Evil
2. Commits actions in a game that would be considered crimes against humanity in real life. The game is played like the BBEG is in your party. Think the racial supremacist elves turned up to max. He'll be the Omar Al-Bashir (the president/dictator of Sudan) of any group.
The Fantasy Nazi
1. Automatically dislikes anything in a game that does not seem "fantasy" enough to him, always against guns, warforged, and mechanical constructs of that sort. Can make for both a horrible DM and an insufferable player, the best ones are quiet about it.
And on the other side:
The Realist
Wants everything to be ultra-realistic or low-fantasy at most, dislikes monsters and magic and will bug the DM about mundane details. Usually overlaps with the Badass-Wannabe.
And on the other side:
The Realist
Wants everything to be ultra-realistic or low-fantasy at most, dislikes monsters and magic and will bug the DM about mundane details. Usually overlaps with the Badass-Wannabe.
I admit that I'm actually a big fan of low fantasy stuff, got hooked on it with REH's Sword and Sorcery Conan universe, good stuff. Low fantasy isn't so much of no monsters, just more down-to-earth in its tone rather than setting, Conan came pretty close though.
Back on topic...
One Race Guy
Plays the exact same race every time, bonus points if he has the same class every time and doesn't bother to fix up a new character sheet. This guy finds something he likes and sticks to it forever, characters who die tend to get replaced by relatives of the deceased character; gets convoluted if his characters have a high mortality rate; like when the long-lost thrice-removed cousin shows up to replace Regnir the Dwarf Barbarian. I am this guy right now, what with my chain of dragonborn paladins and whatnot. Tends to play as an Adonis of his race: the toughest dwarf fighter, the biggest dragonborn, the sneakiest halfling, or the smartest Eladrin. Gravitates towards main PHB races, monster manual races aren't as popular PHB2 hasn't been out long enough to develop enough of these guys, but it's only a matter of time before Grok, Mok, Sok, Dok, and Blok the half-orc barbarians join the party in succession of the previous one.
Once he has wish though, every other line is "I use wish to replace the moon with a giant chicken."
His character is always "sneaky" -has some insidious agenda that does not match up with the rest of the party
He always has to "mess with" another character, either by stealing their possessions, or pointing out their flaws, or playing pranks on them.
He has a very hard time sharing loot.
He plays with his laptop during games, often playing WoW, or watching YouTube until it is his turn, at which point, he rolls some dice, says "I miss" then goes back to his laptop.
Does not communicate during a game- He does not tell the healers he is wounded, then gets upset when he gets KO'd in a fight "because the healers are not doing their jobs."
Insists that all the powers and abilities available for his character "suck" Also believes that his stats "suck"- even when it is pointed out his stats are better than everyone else's
Upon seeing the enemies in an encounter declares that "we are going to loose anyway," and does the least useful tactics possible.
Will criticize other players without offering alternatives- refuses to do things other PC's want to do simply because they want to do it.
Builds really whacked characters in an attempt to get the ultimate "powergame" that never ends up working, then gets upset when the massive flaws he built into the character come back to bite him (less a problem in D&D, thankfully)
The dude really annoys me during games, but can be such a nice guy outside of them. It is too bad we can't just "fix him" to be as cool during a game.
7. Players who bring props. I'm sorry, but just because you brought a piece of cardboard shaped like a sword and covered with tinfoil... my immersion isn't going to be helped.
We'll call that '7a.'
7b. The player who brings the 5-foot replica sword (or his cousin with the 6-foot replica battleaxe).
7c. The player who wants to 'borrow' the 5-foot replica sword and proceeds to display his 'swordsmanship'.
7d. The LARP player who brings the foam-rubber sword.
7e. You know where this is going.
Only plays monster races and can't stand fighting them; usually won't stop asking about it until his goblin is fighting dwarves or his whatever is fighting the race's sworn enemy. Fails to understand why everyone hates his character's guts, and usually his after a couple of sessions.
RP Excuse
His character is the crown prince of the (Insert Regal Sounding Name Here) Kingdom and expects loads of extra cash to go along with his part, also talks down to everybody for not being as princely as he is. The most accommodating of DMs will let him do this, and tack on numerous royal duties in return, he gets mad when this happens and may (amusingly) threaten to leave. Another version of this guy is the ex-elite forces soldier who claims he can do just about anything. They feel that they have transcended the dice and know that they can easily kill the orc warrior with that one sword swing.
Gary-Stu player
Plays a character that is both a self-insert and an extremely idealized version of themselves. Example: Joe Schmo the timid 40 year-old bachelor who plays Benevlio the silver-tongued bard who has to use a stick to fend off all of the women chasing after him. John who is some 5'0" 100 pound weakling playing a tough-as-nails dwarven fighter who sleeps in his armor. Not so much annoying as an example of fantasy taken a little too far.
Innocent Player
Refuses to accept the harsher realities of the game world, wooing the wicked drow countess into one's bedchambers in order to get benefits from a better relationship with her family would be considered "gross" or unacceptable. Tends to play a stupid good character who would let her mother's killer go free. Usually goes into towns just to stop a hanging and then wonders why everyone hates her character.
Inheritance Fanboy
Will not stop until his level one human swordmage is riding a dragon and goes around with an NPC mentor; instantly off-putting to other players. Likes to back up arguments with "Eragon did it", like many other annoying players, he can never understand why everyone hates him. Usually one of those "DM's brother" types who gets away with everything and gets all the magic weapons that only his character would find any use for.
Cliche Character
Plays some human fighter whose aristocrat parents died mysteriously when he was young, his character has some stupid "Chosen One" prophecy written about him, and usually asserts himself as the leader of the party even if his class blatantly does not fit the part. A fighter with CHA as his dump stat will still try to direct negotiations with the hostile duke to get more troops to fight orcs. Tries to have epic romances with random noblewomen his character encounters; cannot be swayed from his delusions of being the "chosen one" who does everything. Treats the game like a single-player RPG with his party members as pets that can be ordered around, mistreated, and expected to die in order to save him. Gets surprised when people don't follow his orders and disagree with what he says.
Immature
Cracks bathroom and yo' mama jokes at every possible occasion, always has a few genuinely funny quips amongst the six billion other ones. Also overlaps with the unfunny "Lord Melvin the Flatulent, Master of the Stinking Cloud" types. Accuses anyone who calls him out on it of having no sense of humor. Possesses an uncanny knack for making people feel guilty about yelling at him in the first place, and can coax an apology out of the gullible.
The Petty One
Plays a character who is ludicrously petty. A peasant who accidentally gets a drop of ale on his clothing risks anything from a slap in the face to decapitation. Personal quests tend to be composed almost entirely of revenge plots against people who made fun of his character three years ago; also tends to be one of those "untouchable" types who you're afraid of because no enemy or PC can score a hit against him. Usually doesn't act his alignment, which I don't have much of a problem with unless it's this guy, chaotic good goes no farther than the character sheet it's scribbled upon for this guy.
Rule Abuser
An annoying cousin of the rules lawyer, rule abuser constantly stretches and reconfigures the meanings of a spell or power. Wants to use mage hand to attack, angelic rescue to save the whole party. Tends to settle an in-game rules dispute with utter nonsense that serves only to benefit him or keep him alive.
Grammar Nazi
Self-explanatory, this is me in my games.
We got this guy that always plays with us. He's a really great guy if we are not playing a game, but at games, here are his habits:
His character is always "sneaky" -has some insidious agenda that does not match up with the rest of the party
He always has to "mess with" another character, either by stealing their possessions, or pointing out their flaws, or playing pranks on them.
He has a very hard time sharing loot.
He plays with his laptop during games, often playing WoW, or watching YouTube until it is his turn, at which point, he rolls some dice, says "I miss" then goes back to his laptop.
Does not communicate during a game- He does not tell the healers he is wounded, then gets upset when he gets KO'd in a fight "because the healers are not doing their jobs."
Insists that all the powers and abilities available for his character "suck" Also believes that his stats "suck"- even when it is pointed out his stats are better than everyone else's
Upon seeing the enemies in an encounter declares that "we are going to loose anyway," and does the least useful tactics possible.
Will criticize other players without offering alternatives- refuses to do things other PC's want to do simply because they want to do it.
Builds really whacked characters in an attempt to get the ultimate "powergame" that never ends up working, then gets upset when the massive flaws he built into the character come back to bite him (less a problem in D&D, thankfully)
The dude really annoys me during games, but can be such a nice guy outside of them. It is too bad we can't just "fix him" to be as cool during a game.
Jokes over.
Next time he brings the laptop and starts playing WoW or watching YouTube, have someone (preferably the DM) close the $#%@ with a slam. Take it away if he protests. He's here to play D&D, not surf the net, he can do this alone. The only one allowed to have a laptop or any other electronic device should be the DM (for campaign and combat notes).
When it comes to tactics, who is the leader, the warlord/cleric/bard or the rogue? If he employs lousy tactics, have the leading player give him orders.
What we got was an inconsistant character who was tough to bring down. I should know I helped generate the characters mechanical aspects. The player thought being an ass-whole in the game world was funny. Needless to say it was taxing on the others paitence. Buts its all good, there was a TPK and everyone was happy.
"Regarding "Table Rules": Wherever the game session is taking place respect the host and the hosts property. Don't make a mess. Clean it up if you do. Behave. You are a GUEST so act accordingly. This includes being mindful of your own hygiene. Just because nobody tells you, "You stink!" doesn't mean that you don't, or that they don't really want to tell you so but are TOO polite to do so. Perhaps they just don't know how to do it properly. Perhaps they don't know how to tactfully tell you you're acting like a jerk, need a shower and clean shirt, have bad breath because you didn't brush, etc. Assist the host and/or DM in getting others to respect the Table Rules as well as yourself. This shouldn't be necessary to even list, but sadly it seems it too often is since the subject repeatedly pops up for discussion online. Any simple request made by the DM or other players that you bathe, brush your teeth, stop interrupting, stop being an ass, pay attention to the game instead of the phone/computer/book/your navel lint/etc. will NOT be considered an insult. It will be considered a FAVOR to you, and an opportunity to better yourself as a person if not as a player. A simple, direct apology and CORRECTION of the situation is all that should be necessary."
I would encourage any DM to create such a document - whether you are going to be gaming with complete strangers at a game store or with your freinds at the kitchen table. Read it out loud at the start of EVERY campaign, whether everyone has heard it/read it before or not. Have any new player that joins the game read it aloud before even beginning to create a character. Print a copy for everyone and hand them out. Have them SIGN it if you want right next to a last line that reads, "By signing this document, or even by simply agreeing to play in this game which is governed by this document, I agree to abide by all its precepts - even if I disagree with any of them - and accept that I can be kicked out if I cannot or will not do so."
If nothing else it will give you the option of announcing to everyone at the table, "We will now re-read the Manifesto because someone here seems to have forgotten something," which is about as safe, non-confrontational (actually overly-timid) a means of telling someone to take a bath or to shut the hell up as you can get.
All the player types I could list have been covered, but I have a suggestion for dealing with them - or at least trying to prevent them. I wrote a little document that I called my Manifesto. Mostly these have to do with how I run the game and expect the players to deal with how I run the game, but #20 covers a LOT of ground:
"Regarding "Table Rules": Wherever the game session is taking place respect the host and the hosts property. Don't make a mess. Clean it up if you do. Behave. You are a GUEST so act accordingly. This includes being mindful of your own hygiene. Just because nobody tells you, "You stink!" doesn't mean that you don't, or that they don't really want to tell you so but are TOO polite to do so. Perhaps they just don't know how to do it properly. Perhaps they don't know how to tactfully tell you you're acting like a jerk, need a shower and clean shirt, have bad breath because you didn't brush, etc. Assist the host and/or DM in getting others to respect the Table Rules as well as yourself. This shouldn't be necessary to even list, but sadly it seems it too often is since the subject repeatedly pops up for discussion online. Any simple request made by the DM or other players that you bathe, brush your teeth, stop interrupting, stop being an ass, pay attention to the game instead of the phone/computer/book/your navel lint/etc. will NOT be considered an insult. It will be considered a FAVOR to you, and an opportunity to better yourself as a person if not as a player. A simple, direct apology and CORRECTION of the situation is all that should be necessary."
I would encourage any DM to create such a document - whether you are going to be gaming with complete strangers at a game store or with your freinds at the kitchen table. Read it out loud at the start of EVERY campaign, whether everyone has heard it/read it before or not. Have any new player that joins the game read it aloud before even beginning to create a character. Print a copy for everyone and hand them out. Have them SIGN it if you want right next to a last line that reads, "By signing this document, or even by simply agreeing to play in this game which is governed by this document, I agree to abide by all its precepts - even if I disagree with any of them - and accept that I can be kicked out if I cannot or will not do so."
If nothing else it will give you the option of announcing to everyone at the table, "We will now re-read the Manifesto because someone here seems to have forgotten something," which is about as safe, non-confrontational (actually overly-timid) a means of telling someone to take a bath or to shut the hell up as you can get.
YES! There needs to be playing rules.
For example, before we started anything for my campaign I laid down the following rules.
1. State what you are doing, and what kind of action it is. Example, I misty step as a move action. Seems silly? Well it lets you as a DM keep track of what actions the player has taken.
2. When your turn is done, say it is done.
3. Once you say your turn is done, and you realize you forgot something, to add something, or whatever, sorry, you forgot, your character forgot, the magic failed, whatever. In fairness to everyone, especially if several other people have taken their turn, it's done, we are not going back to redo your turn. So if you forgot to maintain a power as a minor action, you forgot. Making mistakes like this make better players, because they seldom remember to make the same mistake twice. If you let players redo everything, they never learn, because they think I can just redo it.
4. When moving, this is not chess or checkers, were if you have your hand on the piece, it doesn't count. Once you move your mini one square, it has moved. This is because some powers are based on movement, both for monsters and players.
5. So, PAY ATTENTION, even if it's not your turn, you might see something that gives you an idea.
6. If the game bores you, say so, I won't be hurt, and you are welcome to leave.
7. Roll your dice like a sensible person. This is a personal pet peeve. I don't like people that take forever to roll their dice, and then whip them across the table, so they bounce off the table.
8. These aren't rules for the players, their rules for everyone, so as the DM, live up to them. The example you set, will be picked up by the players. If you let them have their good moments as a player, they will take the bad ones with much more grace. Don't make it a battle between players and DM.
For every new player, I explain my rules at my table, and remind them, if they forget.
Jokes over.
Next time he brings the laptop and starts playing WoW or watching YouTube, have someone (preferably the DM) close the $#%@ with a slam. Take it away if he protests. He's here to play D&D, not surf the net, he can do this alone. The only one allowed to have a laptop or any other electronic device should be the DM (for campaign and combat notes).
When it comes to tactics, who is the leader, the warlord/cleric/bard or the rogue? If he employs lousy tactics, have the leading player give him orders.
This reminds of an incident I heard about. I think it was San Francisco, the Geary Street theater. During the middle of a symphonic concert, some idiot's cell pone went off. Right there, this woman carries on her conversation during the concert. It wasn't an emergency or anything quick and genuinely important, she was chatting with a friend. The conductor stopped the music and stood there, staring at her. Eventually, the whole concert hall was staring at her. When she realized it, she sheepishly hung up. The conductor asked if she was done with her conversation and if they could resume playing. She was mortified!
Perhaps the next time this guy flips open his laptop, stop the game and stare at him. It may not embarass him liek it did the woman, but just sit there with your arms folded. If he looks up, tell him you're just waiting for him to finsih what he's doing so everyone can resume play. Do it every time he fires that thing up.
This reminds of an incident I heard about. I think it was San Francisco, the Geary Street theater. During the middle of a symphonic concert, some idiot's cell pone went off. Right there, this woman carries on her conversation during the concert. It wasn't an emergency or anything quick and genuinely important, she was chatting with a friend. The conductor stopped the music and stood there, staring at her. Eventually, the whole concert hall was staring at her. When she realized it, she sheepishly hung up. The conductor asked if she was done with her conversation and if they could resume playing. She was mortified!
Perhaps the next time this guy flips open his laptop, stop the game and stare at him. It may not embarass him liek it did the woman, but just sit there with your arms folded. If he looks up, tell him you're just waiting for him to finsih what he's doing so everyone can resume play. Do it every time he fires that thing up.
That is an awesome story, I doubt it would work so well on a smaller scale though. Still worth a try.
The worst player I've ever had was that.
Bad game player didn't know the rules.
Often read during the game.
Often left the table during the game.
Needed the most amount of attention
Tried to role play out of rolling
Picked fights
complained about the game
complained when she rolled a one.
had bizarre character concepts
would stall and strech out her turn
Took actions against the players (like stealing)
The DM had to pull her aside several times, and talk to her several times. Finally he laid down the rule, that the next time anyone causes a scene, that player was out of the game.
The thing is, NO ONE else ever made a scene. She was the only one. And he often bent over backwards to make her crappy characters more playable.
No, they were not dating or anything. In fact, when she wasn't around, they often talked about the bone head things she's done in the past in other campaigns.
I left.
Player: "I'm gonna go check my E-Mail. Call me when the fight starts."
We didn't have one.
1. Players who play rogues and thinks they can benefit from Combat Advantage for Sneak Attacks by hiding behind a rock... the only huge rock on the map. When using Stealth checks thinks it is the same effect as a rogue in WoW.
Guilty.
4. Players that invites more people to game when there is already 9 people at the table.
Guilty.
5. Players that brings their girl/boyfriends to the table and snuggle throughout the session and wakes up when it's their turn, rolls the die, and goes back to snuggling.
I wish.
6. Players that brings up an irrelevant subject and makes discussion with the group... while the DM is talking!
Not so much guilty, but esculate the situation to drama levels..
An annoying cousin of the rules lawyer, rule abuser constantly stretches and reconfigures the meanings of a spell or power. Wants to use mage hand to attack, angelic rescue to save the whole party. Tends to settle an in-game rules dispute with utter nonsense that serves only to benefit him or keep him alive.
Hahaha GUILTY! I use mage-hand all the time to make telekinetic attacks against enemy's genitals. My theory is if five pounds of force or coming at your balls, that's probably going to hurt. So I justify it should cause them to be dazed or something. And there's already a cantrip for that. But I make magehand stupidly broken like say lifting a potted plant and dropping it on someone's head.
Or recently using magehand for more PG-13ish things... apparently it's considered **** even when you're not using bodyparts...
"Oh what ISN'T ****?! --Me":P
If I really wanted to be an ass I'd use magehand to split an atom. As surely if force could be concentrated it could break apart matter that cannot even be seen. Thus causing a nuclear bomb effect. Which if I remember correctly was 60d6 damage.
I'd do it when I was in an epic battle by myself and wanted to save my comrades. And take out every living thing within the facinity with me.
The worst is when one person is the combination of many annoying personalities.
The worst player I've ever had was that.
Bad game player didn't know the rules.
Often read during the game.
Often left the table during the game.
Needed the most amount of attention
Tried to role play out of rolling
Picked fights
complained about the game
complained when she rolled a one.
had bizarre character concepts
would stall and strech out her turn
Took actions against the players (like stealing)
To be fair, some of these can be done well, and others can be beneficial at times. For example, having an attention-grabbing character is useful if the one person is the most charismatic and/or the others are not IRL. The same with stalling and stretching out a turn - it can add depth to the game if not everybody has much more to do than a basic attack.
Also, in the case of a bizarre character concept, it might not be too bad if done correctly. One of our group's members is currently playing a binder whose various vestiges are manifested as multiple personalities. His character name and alignment are constantly shifting (He currently goes by 'Various', and is 'Chaotic Chaotic'.) He brings a decent amount of comedy and fun to the table.
Slashy the Forgetful
This player, most usually a melee warrior (Fighter, Barbarian, Paladin, etc.), tends to have a low INT/WIS score. He uses this as an excuse to mispronounce any well thought out names the DM comes up with.
In my case, my current DM is my older brother, and playing a Paladin with an INT score of 10, and my brother being a sci-fi writer as a hobby, there are plenty of fancy angry sounding names. My favorite of which is a god named "Gangrelock." I make it a point to say things such as "So when are we going to go up against those minions of Gorgonzola?"
On one specific occasion my DM had the party stumble upon two separate jungle-dwelling tribes. Let's just say I had a field day that resulted in many a face-palm from my partymates :D
To be fair, some of these can be done well, and others can be beneficial at times. For example, having an attention-grabbing character is useful if the one person is the most charismatic and/or the others are not IRL. The same with stalling and stretching out a turn - it can add depth to the game if not everybody has much more to do than a basic attack.
Also, in the case of a bizarre character concept, it might not be too bad if done correctly. One of our group's members is currently playing a binder whose various vestiges are manifested as multiple personalities. His character name and alignment are constantly shifting (He currently goes by 'Various', and is 'Chaotic Chaotic'.) He brings a decent amount of comedy and fun to the table.
This is a thread about annoying players, assume that none of these was done right or well.
They didn't have a character that wanted attention, THEY were attention grabbing. They stretched out their turn by just sitting there, refusing to act. Just sitting there.
And her character concepts were horrible. They had nothing to do with nothing. All they would have done was given her another excuse to be disruptive.
The Jinxed One
His dice hate the PCs. If he's a player, they always roll badly. If he's the GM, they always roll well. This happens even if his dice are rigged.
Oh man, I'm totally one of these, except for the rigged part. My players keep teasing me that I need to fire all my dice and buy new ones.
Homebrew Fanatic
Anything and everything this guy has will be homebrew, even if it's a class in the PHB, he'll have his own barbarian, his own bard, and a billion other made-up things for him. Good versions of this guy are possible, his builds can be interesting, his homespun races and magic weapons can be useful. They tend to be universal in their insistence on using homebrew and in their utter lack of comprehension as to why the DM is uneasy or shoots down their requests.
Yeah, this one is me too, to a degree. I tend to love homebrewed stuff, anyway, but cut way back on it when the other players complained about it because one of the things I'd used was a bit too overpowered.
I started a campaign with a group of 14 (yes, it sucks) random people at my FLGS. I and my friend are the only ones who showed up with a created character, so I offered help to anyone not sure how to make one. So I get stuck with this guy who was the epitome of an old gamer; bald, short, overweight, and all applicable senses told me he didn't bathe.
After MANY frustrations trying to explain to him the differences between a 4.0 wizard and a 3.x (despite having only played 4.0), we finally get his character made 2 hours later (this was 20 minutes after the LAST player to start their character finished).
We get to the game, and whenever it's his turn to attack, he would call out some random ability of his (obviously not reading the power) and asking what it did (and he was certainly literate). After someone would explain it, he would say, "Ok I'll use that", DM asks for a roll, "Ok, what do I roll?" This went on through an entire round of combat that was built for 14 people.
Then at the end of the session/only encounter, we're dividing up loot and there is a staff that he and another wizard want. I boldly suggest a battle to the death over it, volunteering to sit on the idiot wizard during the battle. The other wizard honestly suggests a battle to the bloodied, to which he replies "Look if you're going to attack me, I'll fight back. And trust me, I wont stop until you're dead. It would be a huge mistake to attack me." This, of course, was late in the evening when everyone wanted to go home but loot needed to be handled. After 5 minutes of his death threats and tough-guy routine, we finally figure out that he doesn't understand what bloodied means...
So finally, he concedes with "I'll just give it to you because I don't want to kill you, because if you provoked me I wouldn't stop."
Yep, kept happening with my old group, all the time. There were always these 2 players, and one of them would start talking every time I was taking my turn and describing what I would do. Whenever one of them would start talking the other one would strike up a conversation with him.
My turn was *ALWAYS* interrupted, without exception.
I'm about to game with a new group, although we still haven't decided when to play. My brother has an idea for a campaign so we may be playing soon, but I hope I don't have to deal with such things again.
Also, there's the players who can do ANYTHING. I don't know how to describe the player, but he basically does WHATEVER he wants, and never has to face the consequences for it. He succeeds at every roll, and he succeeds at everything he does, regardless of how hard it is.
I guess I could name this type of player the "D&D Jesus". He just gets good rolls all the time, all his tactics work, despite how stupid or impossible they may be, he's a dwarf with 6 Cha and rolls diplomacy against 3 paladins at the same time and succeeds, he constantly manages to convince the DM to give him a bonus on his will save (he's a fighter) because he just uttered a prayer to Kord, he gets bonuses to attack rolls for silly reasons, such as "charging really fast", he always succeeds at his will save despite it being very low, he always gets out of trouble, he always convinces the guards it wasn't him by making a cha check (6 cha...), he manages to use the bluff skill to bluff EVERYONE, despite it being negative, in arena matches you just can't touch him because his luck is beyond belief, he always manages to hit things that are invisible (he might as well have true seeing, trust me...it makes no difference)...
And so on, and so on, I could go on forever...the dice jesus type of player is nothing against this guy...And yes it's annoying as hell, I have nothing against lucky players, but this guy takes it to a whole other level.
(...)
Also, there's the players who can do ANYTHING. I don't know how to describe the player, but he basically does WHATEVER he wants, and never has to face the consequences for it. He succeeds at every roll, and he succeeds at everything he does, regardless of how hard it is.(...)
That's The Lord of Dice, no. 29 on the first page.
That's The Lord of Dice, no. 29 on the first page.
No he's not...he's a monster. If his character fought the DM himself, he'd probably beat him.
There's always one. A player in your party who just wants to annoy everyone by being a hindrance to the party or just plain annoying the players.
For example, useless people who constantly get themselves killed and want you to res them. Or the people who refuse to play because they think they deserve a magic item more.
Post all of your annoying player stories here, and (optionally) how your DM dealt with it.
Kind of like the person who picks the worst possible race/class combo(dwarf artful dodger rogue) wants Con over Dex, then *****es the whole time that her PC and 4th ed suck. Calls everyone else power gamers because we put a "little" thought into our PC. That about the same?
Plays a scary-as-Hell character and loves every second of it. Experienced players may not be phased by Horrorshow, but others will. The best of these guys will play something that's evil, but not truly horrifying, like the evil wizard planning on attaining lichdom. The worst of these guys like to be rapists, though I've yet to actually play with one of those kinds of PCs. They love to be the lone evil character in a campaign, flaunting their nonexistent sense of morality in front of the rest of the group via frequent and sometimes annoying displays. Got a bandit leader? Horrorshow cuts his throat first chance he gets. Got a little puppy following the group? Horrorshow kicks it away. Horrorshow acts as idiotic as a Saturday morning cartoon villain except with more actual killing. I confess, and do not regret being one of these players, I proudly admit to playing a dragonborn paladin the size of a goliath who carved out a hobgoblin chief's heart and ate it raw. I am essentially playing him as the most badass guy ever, and tried hard to dodge the "killed a dragon with a single roundhouse kick" bullet that seems to hit every other PC that tries to be badass.
The Punching Bag/Monster Magnet/Damage Monkey/Meat Wagon on Steriods (in warcraft 3/3 exp, meat wagons produce corpses for undead):
Some how or other, this player's characters all manage to get hit by the monsters whenever they attack while others might get missed. Also, every monster somehow decides to attack the player's character or when the DM has monsters attack randomly (random targets are picked) the monsters frequently always targets them. The player's characters all act as damage sponges, soaking up the most damage and always taking more than anybody else. Even if the character is not a melee type. Somehow each game session must end or the next must end with the death of the player's character. Usually not one of the other players' character will suffer enough damage to bring them down to single digit hitpoints.
The result ends up that the player starts viewing characters as nothing more than corpses in the making, that every character they make get the following feat-Red Shirt. After enough times of this, the player usually begins to whine about character stuff and do incrediably dumb stuff because the character is going to die anyone. Can get really annoying and brings down the fun of everyone else.
(This is from personal experience. I ended up with a 5-15 ranking of character survivability for 3.5 out of 20 characters. It kills your interest in investing in your characters at all)
Sorry if people aren't thrilled about reading this; had to get it off my chest.
At the very least, you'll be providing a dual service to your party members: Firstly, a Tank; secondly, learning whether the DM is in it to kill *you*, as judged by the monsters he makes.
Make a character that is nigh-impossible to hit - boost HP and AC through the roof to the detriment of any actual combat capability. Eventually the dice gods will cease their hatred, and strike down others, and that character will be the last man standing, the lone Viking on Stamford Bridge, Benedict at the Arden Pass against the Moonriders, [insert obscure reference of your choice].
At the very least, you'll be providing a dual service to your party members: Firstly, a Tank; secondly, learning whether the DM is in it to kill *you*, as judged by the monsters he makes.
We have a wizard player in our group who always has to boast his 25 AC. You see, he boosted the wiz's strength, got leather and hide armor profs as well as light shield and heavy shield profs.
Let's not forget the players who build the "one trick ponies." Last night we were introduced to a rogue who does nothing but garrot his opponents.
What does he do against creatures that don't need to breathe? Or against Oozes? 0.o
Now you see my pain...
Make a character that is nigh-impossible to hit - boost HP and AC through the roof to the detriment of any actual combat capability.
Does not always help. I forget to mention that in the game i played with for a while had a weird bringing new characters in rule: when the party was 8th level, i could bring in a 2nd level character. In a game with characters getting close to 20th (i think) I brought in a character who could only be as high as 4th. (he survived, even though we ran into a titan)
That's why i made the rule that new characters come in at the same level as the rest of party. no more 7 8th level characters and 1 2nd level character.
"So, do you think I should take the Morninglord Paragon Path, or should I multiclass to Cleric and go for Angelic Avenger? I think that they've both got their benefits, you know. I mean, that Level 16 Paragon Power is really nice, Vulnerability 10 Radiant? Wow. . ."
". . . I think you should focus on the fact that we're 3rd level and the DM has been trying to explain to us the layout of the room for the last ten minutes but can't finish a sentence because you always interrupt with--"
"Damn, I can't wait until I'm level 5, have you seen the dailies Paladins get?"
". . ."
When confronted by a group of intelligent monsters a party member told me to literally stop what I was doing OOCly.
Icly My character was drawing pictures of our party killing beholders and basically doing a bit of charades to insinuate that we were friendly and we only wanted to help.
Nazi Players like that irritate me.
But being told openly by a player "that's stupid ..." ... I mean icly, I can deal with it ... oocly ... you feel like sayinbg "Yeah, it's really inconvenient for you. How I callously want to play MY OWN character ...."
The Online gamer who thinks it's fine to ditch a game because you don't know anybody in it.
The wannabe straight out of WoW who doesn't understand RP beyond "I'm a total badass and you should fear me"
The textbook example of a control freak who can't get his urges for control vented by just being a rules-lawyer, he also has to take it out of game and harass players out of the game.
(probably the only good player on this whole thread) The great player whose company you love, he's perfect for the game, he gets along well with everyone, isn't a douche, etc. But oh wait, after one measly session something happens where he can't come to games any more. This happened to me, the guy I liked was replaced by a player I utterly despise, why me?
There's always one. A player in your party who just wants to annoy everyone by being a hindrance to the party or just plain annoying the players. For example, useless people who constantly get themselves killed and want you to res them. Or the people who refuse to play because they think they deserve a magic item more. Post all of your annoying player stories here, and (optionally) how your DM dealt with it.
see now this is why I play characters who for one reason or another CANNOT be resurected.
no the annoying players in my game is a muchkin who has magic ability to get the DM to agree to give him broken stuff, (his own plane, dominion over far realms beasties, reincarnation, etc.)
A guy who switches charactes every week.
A guy who wants to addapt every one of his characters from AD&D to 4ed.
A guy who doesn't give much imput.
A guy who has been playing since the game has come out and is a former grandmaster (good player just doesn't mix well with some of the others on this list)
A guy who speciallizes in stupid characters and has not made it through a session without doing something that nearly results in TPK
and myself (if i pick on everyone else I should pick on myself aswell) a guy who would like D&D more if: it were more like certain JRPGS that will not be mentioned here, or was mostly roleplaying and combat was more a symbolic gesture than actually a part of the game. (every monster i fight has a purpose, no monsters that just fight me for the sake of fighting)
The One I Don't Even Know a Word for I started a campaign with a group of 14 (yes, it sucks) random people at my FLGS. I and my friend are the only ones who showed up with a created character, so I offered help to anyone not sure how to make one. So I get stuck with this guy who was the epitome of an old gamer; bald, short, overweight, and all applicable senses told me he didn't bathe. After MANY frustrations trying to explain to him the differences between a 4.0 wizard and a 3.x (despite having only played 4.0), we finally get his character made 2 hours later (this was 20 minutes after the LAST player to start their character finished). We get to the game, and whenever it's his turn to attack, he would call out some random ability of his (obviously not reading the power) and asking what it did (and he was certainly literate). After someone would explain it, he would say, "Ok I'll use that", DM asks for a roll, "Ok, what do I roll?" This went on through an entire round of combat that was built for 14 people. Then at the end of the session/only encounter, we're dividing up loot and there is a staff that he and another wizard want. I boldly suggest a battle to the death over it, volunteering to sit on the idiot wizard during the battle. The other wizard honestly suggests a battle to the bloodied, to which he replies "Look if you're going to attack me, I'll fight back. And trust me, I wont stop until you're dead. It would be a huge mistake to attack me." This, of course, was late in the evening when everyone wanted to go home but loot needed to be handled. After 5 minutes of his death threats and tough-guy routine, we finally figure out that he doesn't understand what bloodied means... So finally, he concedes with "I'll just give it to you because I don't want to kill you, because if you provoked me I wouldn't stop."
poor guy, I have you beat, my group varies in size from 5-18, at that point we are no longer an adventuring party, we are an army crushing all in our path, the downside is that there is 0 role playing.
12. Players that create awesome characters that has real potential to the story but describes themselves as silent and mysterious because they are shy. No roleplaying whatsoever.
Shy people aren't quiet by choice, they've no control over it and in general you need to be patient when dealing with such people.
Pushing them to rp more than they're comfortable with won't help either, you'll just push them from the game.
12. Players that create awesome characters that has real potential to the story but describes themselves as silent and mysterious because they are shy. No roleplaying whatsoever.Shy people aren't quiet by choice, they've no control over it and in general you need to be patient when dealing with such people.
Pushing them to rp more than they're comfortable with won't help either, you'll just push them from the game.
I agree. Once someone begins to wake up and fit in they can be just as valuable a member of the group, they are probably nervous. I've been gaming on and off since I was 13 but I recently picked things back up and was like a rabbit in headlights in both games I'm playing in before things began to de-ice. So it's not fair not to give someone a chance to relax and open up.
My own other pet hate is people who try to get minor artifacts out of a DM - yeah, like your level 4 character used to picnic in Myth Drannor, pull the other one. I said a +2 bonus maximum, dammit!
What Works There Should Work Here
I've had a player who would map other game worlds (or the real one) onto the current campaign, and would be literally shocked and confused and need long descriptions to explain why a particular game detail didn't fit together with everything else as expected. Mostly dealing with the way the real world works, or is supposed to work.
As in, "So, wait, there's an emerald in this abandoned temple? But you almost never find emeralds in these sorts of environments. What kind of stone are the walls made of?"
'Twas a great player otherwise, but that was frustrating at times.
What Works There Should Work Here
I've had a player who would map other game worlds (or the real one) onto the current campaign, and would be literally shocked and confused and need long descriptions to explain why a particular game detail didn't fit together with everything else as expected. Mostly dealing with the way the real world works, or is supposed to work.
As in, "So, wait, there's an emerald in this abandoned temple? But you almost never find emeralds in these sorts of environments. What kind of stone are the walls made of?"
'Twas a great player otherwise, but that was frustrating at times.
I've had a version of this one. The version where parts of the real world should work here, but only the parts they want to use.
"Oh, the floor is rotating? Well, we'll just trigger it and lodge that statue between the floor and the wall to stop it."
"The stone statue which weighs a thousand pounds or more? How will you and the skinny halfling thief move it?"
"Well, I'm just trying to use a real-world solution, rather than just using a power on it!"
I am surprised no one came up with this one) The Punching Bag/Monster Magnet/Damage Monkey/Meat Wagon on Steriods (in warcraft 3/3 exp, meat wagons produce corpses for undead): Some how or other, this player's characters all manage to get hit by the monsters whenever they attack while others might get missed. Also, every monster somehow decides to attack the player's character or when the DM has monsters attack randomly (random targets are picked) the monsters frequently always targets them. The player's characters all act as damage sponges, soaking up the most damage and always taking more than anybody else. Even if the character is not a melee type. Somehow each game session must end or the next must end with the death of the player's character. Usually not one of the other players' character will suffer enough damage to bring them down to single digit hitpoints. The result ends up that the player starts viewing characters as nothing more than corpses in the making, that every character they make get the following feat-Red Shirt. After enough times of this, the player usually begins to whine about character stuff and do incrediably dumb stuff because the character is going to die anyone. Can get really annoying and brings down the fun of everyone else. (This is from personal experience. I ended up with a 5-15 ranking of character survivability for 3.5 out of 20 characters. It kills your interest in investing in your characters at all) Sorry if people aren't thrilled about reading this; had to get it off my chest.
I had this happen to me, once. I was the defender, so it was okay at first.
But then I think in the couple months I stuck with it, I only hit on an attack once or twice. And it wasn't an issue of bad dice, because it was online.
So, not being able to contribute in any meaningful way during combat other than as a damage sponge, it became very, very not fun.
I've had a version of this one. The version where parts of the real world should work here, but only the parts they want to use.
"Oh, the floor is rotating? Well, we'll just trigger it and lodge that statue between the floor and the wall to stop it."
"The stone statue which weighs a thousand pounds or more? How will you and the skinny halfling thief move it?"
"Well, I'm just trying to use a real-world solution, rather than just using a power on it!"
****ing Pyramid Of Shadows.
Of course, when our group did it, we had a Fighter and a Dragon Sorceror and a Strength Paladin, so moving the statues really wasn't that hard. The problem was, the encounter *literally had no consideration* for what might happen if you tried a countermeasure to the trap, and the GM was torn between "Well, it's not possible to disarm the trap that way as printed" and "Holy crap, this is a badly-written module".
The Omnipotent Powergamer
This player probably has a high voice (don't know why, but from experience...) and owns at least half the books of any given edition, if not more. He complains about other players because they aren't using optimised builds, like my Gnome Illusionist (3.5) with no damage spells, and wants to tell you what prestige classes you're taking. Roleplaying tends to fall on the sidelines here, because he doesn't understand that there is a game outside of combat. (And he gets pissed off when the unoptimised illusionist knocks the entire party of goblins out for 6 rounds...)