Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 albinomonkeyking Oct 10, 2009 0:24:21	So I've got a friend who has been playing d&d pretty routinely with me for the past 8 years. We've finished some games, come close with others, and played some that lasted a few sessions to a few hours. The problem is that he used to be the best role-player among us - excited and involved and eager to play - and now he seems disappointed in every session and every game. From my discussions with him I've gathered that he's struggling to play something he hasn't already done and he often ends up blaming the DM (often me) if he isn't having fun. This is where I've become involved; he has taken to arguing or endlessly criticizing his DMs nearly every session and definitely every game and I've even gotten him to admit that the problem lies in his restlessness with his characters feeling stale and boring. Mechanically he is still finding ways to enjoy himself, i.e., strange monk builds or whatever else he fancies, but thematically - RP wise - he is stumped. To elaborate, he is the type of player who likes what he likes. He likes making the guy who gets the girl or goes after the girl and sometimes he likes to be the goofball (which is his personality) and he hates being the leader - which is really not his personality. Unfortunately what he really loves RPing isn't that broad; romantic, goofy, disrespectful, pretty well sums up what he enjoys, so he feels played out and is struggling. He tried evil but his character clashed with the rest of the party (no hard feelings, he just realized he couldn't enjoy the character the way he had thought) and he scrapped him. He is playing a goody-goody right now (ladies man) but he seems just as disconsolate as always. I'm hoping maybe someone else could share their own experiences or the like so that I can help him out. My main concerns are firstly, honestly, for the group. He has gotten worse and worse at throwing blame to the point where one campaign ended and I put up my DM hat because I couldn't deal with his endless crap. I want him to be happy and functioning because he really does make the games great when he is in them and I want that for the groups. My second reason is I want to help out my friend. We were friends looooong before d&d and I empathize with him even if he does drive me nuts. Looking for answers and welcoming all responses, thanks.
#2 etarnon Oct 10, 2009 2:54:13	Interesting. I've never heard of this.   Steps I'd suggest to take: 1. It's on him. Not the DM.  Obviously.  He has to own his fun.  If he can't be positive as a PLAYER (not necessarily character) in the game, he needs to take a break, but see below. 2. Have him gen up a new PC, and play the closest medieval version of himself.  Goofy bard.  Romantic goofy bard. Whatever, I don't know him.  ....with a disconsolate, down, bored personality. Method acting. 3. Allow or encourage this guy to smell the flowers, and feel nothing.  He writes poems. whatever. Then off to the dungeon. 4. Seems like something else is missing here...Has he played a halfling? If he does, what's his reaction? the PC played is as "Fun" as the player making it, thus; 5. Have him seek medical help, he might be clinically depressed.   Best of luck to you, him and your group.
#3 garner_adam Oct 10, 2009 3:00:29	Albinomonkeykin could you give us a brief one sentence for each of his last five characters? (class, race, skill set, personality, and goals)
#4 etarnon Oct 10, 2009 4:30:29	Yeah, that would help, too.
#5 sanguinesphinx Oct 10, 2009 10:36:16	1. Have him try DMing. Perhaps some experience on the other side of the table will help him get over his Player Rut. 2. Have him try a more creative, insane character, like one from the 1001 Mentally Unstable fun-to-play Character Concepts thread. It sounds like his characters are simply a bit bland, and having a try at a really off-the-wall character might help.
#6 i_roll_ones Oct 10, 2009 13:34:55	Have him roleplay something NEW. Tell him he's an experienced and good roleplayer, and maybe its time that he challenged himself. Some ideas: 1) A law abiding character. This can be very difficult for people used to sneaking around and breaking the law as easily as sneezing. 2) An older PC. Could still be a romantic at heart, but perhaps the PC has calmed down a bit. Maybe the PC has a kid running around somewhere. 3) A different race. What races has he been playing, and are there any non-humans with an extremely non-human way of thinking? Warforged come to mind. If he's set on romance RP, have him do a dwarf, as they are often honorable and lawful, and may approach courtship differently. Say, rather then give the lass in question some flowers, but work up an honorable reputation and work to provide a good life and to get the permission of her father. 4) Depending on your setting, there might be a way to make a romantic PC that rather then trying to get their OWN romance help others find it. I am not sure if he'll find this appealing, but it could be worth a shot. Things I wouldn't reccomend: 1) Gender. If he's bad at it, it could make things very awkward, cheesy and uncomfortable. Or, he could just make the same PC, now with boobies. Not saying it can't work, but it can also go very wrong.
#7 tomcardin Oct 10, 2009 19:45:49	Hate to say this but his outbursts and change in overall character - his own character that is...Probably has nothing to do with D&D Find out whats going on in his life... whats really troubling him. Be his friend. Thats the limit to my psychobabble...how is he in activities other than D&D? Talk to the people who know him outside of gaming. See if what is happening around the game table is happening elsewhere.
#8 albinomonkeyking Oct 10, 2009 20:43:42	Albinomonkeykin could you give us a brief one sentence for each of his last five characters? (class, race, skill set, personality, and goals)  Yes, I think I can manage. Oh, this is all 3.5 and 3.0 adapted to 3.5 Most recent: His race is... you know I'm not sure. Something that that looks human but isn't, gets good stats for cleric/church inquisitor (he always picks human-looking that give the best stats for his class, he's a maximizer) and his skills are knowledge in religion, diplomacy and anything else to help with inquiring. He is LG and friendly/helpful and his only goal seems to be obey Pelor vehemently. The character is pretty bland, just a typical good guy. CE Fighter/Master of Chains: He was some crazy race that can turn into a dog - it was from somewhere on the internet. He was a master of chains with 0 skills outside of combat and his race bound him to another player that had branded him. He tried to kill literally everything that moved and was only withheld by the guy who branded him. Needless to say, the idea didn't pan out. CG Monk/Fighter: This character had combat skills only, again, and his only goal was to get revenge on a vampire council that he used to be on. He had cured himself of vampirism and thus been ousted. Personality? Uh.... vaguely good. More along the lines of hit it if it sounds bad. He tried to be inquisitive and use gather information but he always asked really bad questions and resorted to just hitting people. CG Monk...fighter: Pretty much the same as the last but a human. His story was different and the build wasn't quite as powerful. He dropped this character for the Vampire one. The only difference was this character was super handsome and slept around. He seemed to have more fun with it. CG Fighter/Iajitsu Master: Let me think... some kind of demonic race, but still human-looking and very handsome. All combat skills. Generally just good in behavior, wouldn't hit women or children. That kind of thing.
#9 albinomonkeyking Oct 10, 2009 20:48:06	Also, just to expand, he literally won't play something outside of human-ish. He isn't really the type of player to think race matters for anything but appearance and stats and he just wants to look cool. So thank you for those suggestions but they won't work on this one. I'm thinking maybe something more neutrally aligned might be something he would try. Right now it seems like he can only do something that is an exaggeration of one of his personality traits in real life - goofy, lazy, romantic, or something that is completely off-the-wall like the CE character who wanted to hack things up. The problem is the first one he has done to death and how to make the second concept work with other players. /shrug Thanks again for the replies.
#10 lofgren Oct 10, 2009 21:11:04	One thing I have done in the past when I wanted to make a character who was different than what I had done before was imagine a companion or family member of the last character I played.  (I have three generations of one family and all of their SOs designed this way.)  By imagining the characters who would develop in reaction to my previous character, it helps to make them sufficiently different yet gives me an instant connection to them.  This is the only way, for example, that I have coaxed myself to play females or elves. So if this character your friend always plays always gets the girl, he could try designing the girl that would be perfect for his character, or a protege or teacher who shaped the character's brash outlook, or son who resents his father's naive romanticism.  If he's been playing this character long enough he probably has a hint of the people who form his character's universe and inform his personality.
#11 death_isthe_begining Oct 11, 2009 14:56:58	Well he is playing the antithesis of what his last character was and now he is having trouble shifting gears(not surprising really). Then again maybe he wants to be led into temptation, he seems to want to see evil firsthand and either succumb or triumph over it. Have you given him a moral dillemma(say save a few children from an evil cultist miles away by accepting help from a demon, Puzuzu would work well to that end). Or maybe you have and I'm completely off-base here.
#12 kouk Oct 13, 2009 18:34:58	I'm more inclined to think it's personal problems not particularly related to D&D. If he's having trouble with his "romantic" characters, it may be because of trouble in his real life. Just the fact that he continues to pursue that kind of roleplaying time and time again would seem to indicate dissatisfaction with his real life in that area. I'm having trouble linking "Oh I don't know how to play this character" with "Damn you stupid DMs, you're ruining my fun!" as symptoms of game boredom. It may be that not knowing what to do with his character is as far an excuse as he's willing to admit. Honestly, a professional therapist or psychiatrist would be my first suggestion.   To keep it more in-game though: It may be time for a break (for him at least). 8 years of continual gaming is a long time after all, and most of us take breaks along the way. Maybe a few months off, even half a year or more. If he's just been playing the whole time, there's no surprise he's burnt out (heck you should be too).   There's also the option of a different game system. You say you've been with 3.0 and 3.5 the last 8 years; that's also something you can burn out on. After a while most people at all interested in mechanics will start to feel they've done what they can (meaning, what they want to) with the system.   There are hundreds of game systems out there. There's bound to be something floating around that everyone can get excited about again. A genre change might help too.
#13 october_darkness Oct 13, 2009 20:12:21	Have him play World of Warcraft if he doesn't shape up. There's plenty of "damsels in distress" in that game.