BEST NATURAL 1s EVUR

Post/Author/DateTimePost
#1

fmalchemist

Oct 07, 2011 19:26:09		i wasn't actually part of this but a dm told me about it;


the group was fighting a mindflayer and a psion, the mindflayer was now dead but everyone was BADLY injured.
It was the barbarians turn. He by now had one arm, his head split open and no weapon and it's his turn. The person who was the barbarian randomly yelled "I'm gonna throw my brain?"

Dm: "What?"

Barbarian: "I'm gonna throw my brain!"

Dm:". . . . .okay, . . . i guess. . . . roll"

Barbarian:"woot woot got a crit! Who'd it hit!"

DM: "who's in the way?"       

Psion:". . . . .me"

DM: *rolls*" . . . . . uh. . . .yeah. . . . you just got hit by a brain. . . . . and you're dead now"

And thus a barbarian killed a psion with his mind.   
                
#2

Langrishe

Oct 07, 2011 20:19:47 		Now that's using your head!
#3

salla

Oct 07, 2011 20:41:46 		1. I have serious doubts any DM who wasn't drunk or high would let a PC throw his brain.
2. What is this bizarre obsession you have with natural 1s?  This is the third thread you've made involving them.
#4

Omnirahk_half-Rahkshi

Oct 08, 2011 0:37:07 		I remember this story from Best Lines Ever.  The story loses its impact without the following detail: just before the battle, the psion was criticizing the barbarian for not using his mind to his full extent.  Claimed he was superior for killing people with his brain.
#5

MrCustomer

Oct 08, 2011 15:54:35
i wasn't actually part of this but a dm told me about it;


the group was fighting a mindflayer and a psion, the mindflayer was now dead but everyone was BADLY injured.
It was the barbarians turn. He by now had one arm, his head split open and no weapon and it's his turn. The person who was the barbarian randomly yelled "I'm gonna throw my brain?"

Dm: "What?"

Barbarian: "I'm gonna throw my brain!"

Dm:". . . . .okay, . . . i guess. . . . roll"

Barbarian:"woot woot got a crit! Who'd it hit!"

DM: "who's in the way?"       

Psion:". . . . .me"

DM: *rolls*" . . . . . uh. . . .yeah. . . . you just got hit by a brain. . . . . and you're dead now"

And thus a barbarian killed a psion with his mind.   
                



Poor DMing.

IN order to throw ammo, it must first be drawn (see draw a weapon) now this might be considered a move action, or a swift action or a free action, it doesn't really matter but the fact is this action is completed before the next action (attacking)

What damage does a Barbarian do to himself when he effectively coup de grace's himself by scooping his own brain out?

easy answer? he is dead, aside from the massive HP damage of coup de grace, his inteligence and wisdom would be reduced to zero, with all the added effects..ie death

So even imagining that in his final death twitch he throws his brain and hits the psion, how much damage does a brain do?

Well as a soft, mushy mass, I could just as easily ask how much damage a cake would do, ie none! Splat! you hit him with a half pound of raw hamburger that was your brain.

Not to mention that this is still technically a body part, which means it could only do non-lethal damage anyways, and could not possibly kill someone, again, brain goes splat.
#6

Carl_the_half_ork

Oct 10, 2011 9:32:46 		Awesome DMing.
#7

kivip

Oct 10, 2011 15:00:08
i wasn't actually part of this but a dm told me about it;


the group was fighting a mindflayer and a psion, the mindflayer was now dead but everyone was BADLY injured.
It was the barbarians turn. He by now had one arm, his head split open and no weapon and it's his turn. The person who was the barbarian randomly yelled "I'm gonna throw my brain?"

Dm: "What?"

Barbarian: "I'm gonna throw my brain!"

Dm:". . . . .okay, . . . i guess. . . . roll"

Barbarian:"woot woot got a crit! Who'd it hit!"

DM: "who's in the way?"       

Psion:". . . . .me"

DM: *rolls*" . . . . . uh. . . .yeah. . . . you just got hit by a brain. . . . . and you're dead now"

And thus a barbarian killed a psion with his mind.   
                



Poor DMing.

IN order to throw ammo, it must first be drawn (see draw a weapon) now this might be considered a move action, or a swift action or a free action, it doesn't really matter but the fact is this action is completed before the next action (attacking)

What damage does a Barbarian do to himself when he effectively coup de grace's himself by scooping his own brain out?

easy answer? he is dead, aside from the massive HP damage of coup de grace, his inteligence and wisdom would be reduced to zero, with all the added effects..ie death

So even imagining that in his final death twitch he throws his brain and hits the psion, how much damage does a brain do?

Well as a soft, mushy mass, I could just as easily ask how much damage a cake would do, ie none! Splat! you hit him with a half pound of raw hamburger that was your brain.

Not to mention that this is still technically a body part, which means it could only do non-lethal damage anyways, and could not possibly kill someone, again, brain goes splat.



I remember this from best lines ever, and it's really crippled by op butchering most of the detail out of it. The barbarian was dead but thanks to some feat or such (not really sure how barbarians worked back when this game was played) he was allowed his final action before actually realizing he had died. He also had what was required to quick draw, so, being already dead, he quick drew and threw his brain as an improvised weapon (damage done to yourself irrelevant, you are already dead), missed and hit psion instead, rolled a 20, confirmed a critical, another 20 for instant death. 100% within the rules, as far as I understood.

#8

lolabonne

Oct 10, 2011 15:55:02 		'20 then 20 = Instant Kill' was not a rule.
#9

Omnirahk_half-Rahkshi

Oct 11, 2011 7:45:09
'20 then 20 = Instant Kill' was not a rule.



Houserule I've heard of.  Natural 20 to get a threat, natural 20 to confirm crit also threatens insta-kill, requires a third d20 roll to confirm insta-kill.  I believe that third one needs to be a natural 20 too.  I definitely remember it as a 3.5 houserule.  Maybe from Unearthed Arcana?
#10

Cohen95

Oct 11, 2011 9:14:12
'20 then 20 = Instant Kill' was not a rule.



Houserule I've heard of.  Natural 20 to get a threat, natural 20 to confirm crit also threatens insta-kill, requires a third d20 roll to confirm insta-kill.  I believe that third one needs to be a natural 20 too.  I definitely remember it as a 3.5 houserule.  Maybe from Unearthed Arcana?



Yep, but, as with all houserules, it was nowhere near "100% within the rules" as Kivip suggests.
#11

kivip

Oct 11, 2011 14:17:00 		Considering how often you hear it referenced here, it osunds like it was more a norm than the exeption. Hell, I think I even read a post once thanking some-or-the-other edition getting rid of it. But whatever, I am unfamiliar with rules of earlier editions.
#12

Omnirahk_half-Rahkshi

Oct 11, 2011 22:14:22 		I think I've heard it was a core rule in earlier editions too.  Not sure if it's a fact.  Anyway, if it was in 3.5 Unearthed Arcana as well, I'd consider that a variant rule rather than a houserule, since it was officially published.  Whether or not that distinction holds water or not, it's an amusing tale.  As long as the psion's player wasn't bothered too much, it's all good fun - no harm, no foul.
#13

Olrox17

Oct 12, 2011 7:54:23 		This makes me think of Mortal Kombat for some reason...
#14

Kaganfindel

Oct 12, 2011 14:34:50
I think I've heard it was a core rule in earlier editions too.  Not sure if it's a fact.  Anyway, if it was in 3.5 Unearthed Arcana as well, I'd consider that a variant rule rather than a houserule, since it was officially published.  Whether or not that distinction holds water or not, it's an amusing tale.  As long as the psion's player wasn't bothered too much, it's all good fun - no harm, no foul.




I can't claim to have read everything ever published, but I've played through every edition they put out, and never come across a 20/20/20=dead rule.  3rd Edition was the first edition to require confirmation of a crit, so unless they rolled that mechanic out as a variant in some obscure release in a previous edition, it could only have been 3.x.  Color me skeptical.
#15

xtimmyx

Oct 13, 2011 23:51:13 		this:  

www.justin.tv/xtimmyx/b/294529060 
#16

LordOfWeasels

Oct 14, 2011 9:44:05
I think I've heard it was a core rule in earlier editions too.  Not sure if it's a fact.  Anyway, if it was in 3.5 Unearthed Arcana as well, I'd consider that a variant rule rather than a houserule, since it was officially published.



It was never an official rule of any version of D&D, and it was never published in any official supplement for any version of D&D.

It's a depressingly common *house rule* that the kind of GMs who cycle through players rapidly love, which means lots of people have played with it while looking for a game.  There's also similar rules in several D&D ripoff games, either de facto or de jure.
#17

Cohen95

Oct 14, 2011 9:46:33 		Had a DM try to impose a critical failure rule on us. She ended up walking it back to the point where PCs only have flavor text, even on a confirmed critical failure. At which point I pointed out that if it's just flavor, and no mechanical penalty beyond the rules-based "auto-miss on a natural 1" she just dumped the whole thing.
#18

meech17

Oct 14, 2011 23:41:10 		I don't think three 20's being insta kill is too bad.. I mean how often do you see three twenties?

But I have fun with 1's. I have every player come up with an option of somthing bad that could happen due to a hardcore fail, and most players love it. Then I role, (Say I have four players, I list the options 1-4 and roll a D4 to pick) and that happens, be it cutting off ones foot, loosing grip of the weapon they were using and tossing it wildly down the dungeon, (Unless of course they have a locked gauntlet.) or in one instance, a player suggested that our half orc swung his massive battle axe so hard that he spun in a circle, getting a second attack, with a 50/50 chance of hitting the mob or a group member. (Were fine with dieing lol.. The line we give to new players is "This is the most fun you'll ever have losing a game" ) The greatest thing is he rolled, and got the option to hit a group member, which we went with the closet (our rogue). He rolled a 20, confirmed, and killed the rogue. I cried a little.
#19

oxybe

Oct 15, 2011 0:48:26 		honestly, i never found "punishment" crit fails to be fun or realistic of any measure due to how often they occur to individual PCs.

those rules are instant "flags" that get raised for guys i simply don't want to GM for me.
#20

Samrin

Oct 15, 2011 5:37:19 		I hate critical fumbles as well, but this has to be my favorite:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hObKKGdx6zo 
#21

Saranghae

Oct 15, 2011 9:16:06 		I am confused by the fact that the OP titled it "Natural 1s," but the story used 20s instead of 1s.
#22

Novacat

Oct 15, 2011 9:22:07
I don't think three 20's being insta kill is too bad.. I mean how often do you see three twenties?


Mathematically, once every 8000 rolls. I've seen it done twice.
#23

LordOfWeasels

Oct 15, 2011 10:16:27
I don't think three 20's being insta kill is too bad.. I mean how often do you see three twenties?



With fair dice, one in 8000.  However, this is an event that, when it happens, is boring and not fun.  Therefore it doesn't MATTER how rare it is - either it never comes up and it shouldn't be a rule at all, or it comes up even once and makes the game less fun, so it shouldn't be a rule at all.

But I have fun with 1's. I have every player come up with an option of somthing bad that could happen due to a hardcore fail, and most players love it. Then I role, (Say I have four players, I list the options 1-4 and roll a D4 to pick) and that happens, be it cutting off ones foot, loosing grip of the weapon they were using and tossing it wildly down the dungeon, (Unless of course they have a locked gauntlet.) or in one instance, a player suggested that our half orc swung his massive battle axe so hard that he spun in a circle, getting a second attack, with a 50/50 chance of hitting the mob or a group member. (Were fine with dieing lol.. The line we give to new players is "This is the most fun you'll ever have losing a game" ) The greatest thing is he rolled, and got the option to hit a group member, which we went with the closet (our rogue). He rolled a 20, confirmed, and killed the rogue. I cried a little.



Because competent warriors will stab themselves in the foot or throw their weapons on a full 5% of all attacks, right.

Critical failure rules always suck.

#24

RPJesus

Oct 15, 2011 15:07:46

So even imagining that in his final death twitch he throws his brain and hits the psion, how much damage does a brain do?


If my memory of the rules for dropping stuff in 3.5 is accurate, the same amount as a sedan if they're both dropped from the same height.
#25

crowscape

Oct 16, 2011 11:04:05

But I have fun with 1's. I have every player come up with an option of somthing bad that could happen due to a hardcore fail, and most players love it. Then I role, (Say I have four players, I list the options 1-4 and roll a D4 to pick) and that happens, be it cutting off ones foot, loosing grip of the weapon they were using and tossing it wildly down the dungeon, (Unless of course they have a locked gauntlet.) or in one instance, a player suggested that our half orc swung his massive battle axe so hard that he spun in a circle, getting a second attack, with a 50/50 chance of hitting the mob or a group member. (Were fine with dieing lol.. The line we give to new players is "This is the most fun you'll ever have losing a game" ) The greatest thing is he rolled, and got the option to hit a group member, which we went with the closet (our rogue). He rolled a 20, confirmed, and killed the rogue. I cried a little.


Which is why, in game systems where a 1 is a critical failure that does something in addition to always missing, I make characters that do not make attack rolls, or game it so that the other feature cannot occur (i.e. using only natural weapons if a 1 results in a dropped weapon). So, fortunately, all my natural 1 stories are simply of my character missing and going on with the fight as normal.

#26

Cohen95

Oct 16, 2011 14:21:26

But I have fun with 1's. I have every player come up with an option of somthing bad that could happen due to a hardcore fail, and most players love it. Then I role, (Say I have four players, I list the options 1-4 and roll a D4 to pick) and that happens, be it cutting off ones foot, loosing grip of the weapon they were using and tossing it wildly down the dungeon, (Unless of course they have a locked gauntlet.) or in one instance, a player suggested that our half orc swung his massive battle axe so hard that he spun in a circle, getting a second attack, with a 50/50 chance of hitting the mob or a group member. (Were fine with dieing lol.. The line we give to new players is "This is the most fun you'll ever have losing a game" ) The greatest thing is he rolled, and got the option to hit a group member, which we went with the closet (our rogue). He rolled a 20, confirmed, and killed the rogue. I cried a little.


Which is why, in game systems where a 1 is a critical failure that does something in addition to always missing, I make characters that do not make attack rolls, or game it so that the other feature cannot occur (i.e. using only natural weapons if a 1 results in a dropped weapon). So, fortunately, all my natural 1 stories are simply of my character missing and going on with the fight as normal.




This. I have a full-on lazy leader build I keep on-hand just in case I happen to fall into a group like that.
#27

Maganothrom

Oct 20, 2011 13:32:43

I think Critical Failures are fun and profitable.  My dad used some cooked up version of AD&D's miss table during a 3.0 campaign he ran for us.  On the last boss fight between us and a Vampire lord and his minions, our ubiquitous half-elf ranger crittically missed a Vampire minion.  Rolling a series of dice, the scenario played out thusly:


First die roll determined what happened.  In this particular case, it resulted in the weapon being thrown into a nearby target, either friend or foe.


Second die roll determine how hard it hit.  A natural 20, critical hit.


Third die roll determined who it hit.  We were deep into this boss fight, and had all sustained injuries most greivous.  A critical hit could easily end one of us, and that would spell doom for our group.  As the die rolled to determine the outcome, we watched, breathless and fearfull.  My dad looked at his chart, and announced that the weapon had hit...the Vampire lord.  When the damage was rolled, it was easily enough to kill the lord.  Rejoicing, we whiped the rest of the minions out and claimed our rewards.

I miss those crazy critical miss tables, even when they end in my Gnome Illusionist sprouting a pick in his chest thanks to a bad miss by a teammate.

#28

fmalchemist

Oct 28, 2011 14:02:25
Now that's using your head!



LOL
#29

fmalchemist

Oct 28, 2011 14:04:03
1. I have serious doubts any DM who wasn't drunk or high would let a PC throw his brain.
2. What is this bizarre obsession you have with natural 1s?  This is the third thread you've made involving them.




as for number 2, im a beginning dm who thinks that "okay, natural 1. . . you miss. . ." is cleche 
#30

fmalchemist

Oct 28, 2011 14:05:42
i wasn't actually part of this but a dm told me about it;


the group was fighting a mindflayer and a psion, the mindflayer was now dead but everyone was BADLY injured.
It was the barbarians turn. He by now had one arm, his head split open and no weapon and it's his turn. The person who was the barbarian randomly yelled "I'm gonna throw my brain?"

Dm: "What?"

Barbarian: "I'm gonna throw my brain!"

Dm:". . . . .okay, . . . i guess. . . . roll"

Barbarian:"woot woot got a crit! Who'd it hit!"

DM: "who's in the way?"       

Psion:". . . . .me"

DM: *rolls*" . . . . . uh. . . .yeah. . . . you just got hit by a brain. . . . . and you're dead now"

And thus a barbarian killed a psion with his mind.   
                



Poor DMing.

IN order to throw ammo, it must first be drawn (see draw a weapon) now this might be considered a move action, or a swift action or a free action, it doesn't really matter but the fact is this action is completed before the next action (attacking)

What damage does a Barbarian do to himself when he effectively coup de grace's himself by scooping his own brain out?

easy answer? he is dead, aside from the massive HP damage of coup de grace, his inteligence and wisdom would be reduced to zero, with all the added effects..ie death

So even imagining that in his final death twitch he throws his brain and hits the psion, how much damage does a brain do?

Well as a soft, mushy mass, I could just as easily ask how much damage a cake would do, ie none! Splat! you hit him with a half pound of raw hamburger that was your brain.

Not to mention that this is still technically a body part, which means it could only do non-lethal damage anyways, and could not possibly kill someone, again, brain goes splat.



I don't know the details, a DM told me about it
#31

fmalchemist

Oct 28, 2011 14:08:47
I don't think three 20's being insta kill is too bad.. I mean how often do you see three twenties?


Mathematically, once every 8000 rolls. I've seen it done twice.



I've done it once or twice, I've also gotten 3 1's in a row so rather than just killing off my rogue I got him into a really scewy situation. . . . in a dress. . . . with his crossbow gammed. . . . . in the water when he can't swim. . . . with a gay lake dragon. . . .