Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 canuk Jul 18, 2009 22:52:46	Simple question. In D&D me and my group are evil and have just acquired a viking warship and we are desperately trying to think of the best way to utilize it's power for evil. We have a crew weapons and a want for evil so any suggestions
#2 Pundrake_the_Mad Jul 18, 2009 23:29:55	The Hammer of the Gods will drive our ships to new lands! You know you want to....
#3 tam_lin_dup Jul 19, 2009 1:51:35	Um, you could use it to raid and pillage coastal settlements? As is its designed intention.
#4 esperifiel Jul 19, 2009 4:46:48	Sack a city and burn it to the ground. Have your party load the warship full with wenches and loot, murder them all, and ride off into the sunset as Lord Badass. -__-
#5 Novacat Jul 19, 2009 5:46:17	My group recently had a discussion about the nuances of: • Pillaging • Burning • Looting • Raping • Murdering • Plundering, and • Sacking I believe the outcome was something like this... Pillaging is a wide-reaching act, which includes, as subcategories, Burning, Looting, Raping, Murdering, Plundering, and Sacking. Looting and Plundering are similar, but Looting is primarily a reference to Plundering when done AFTER the Murdering or Burning. Sacking also has Burning and Murdering as subcategories, and is, itself a subcategory of Pillaging. Sacking can also be a part of Raping, depending on how you define "Sacking". They also concluded that the preferred Pillaging sequence is: 1. Raping, 2 and 3. Plundering and Murdering, in either order, 4. Looting 5. Burning The sheer seriousness with which this conversation took place does not bode well for any wealthy, but unprotected NPCs in my campaign.
#6 pluisjen Jul 19, 2009 6:06:17	They also concluded that the preferred Pillaging sequence is: 1. Raping, 2 and 3. Plundering and Murdering, in either order, 4. Looting 5. Burning Hmmm. The militia trying to defend the town might be so surprised by that order of actions, it just might work
#7 Novacat Jul 19, 2009 6:18:42	Hmmm. The militia trying to defend the town might be so surprised by that order of actions, it just might work I think the idea is to attack towns which lack a militia.
#8 gaaaaah Jul 19, 2009 10:08:58	I think the idea is to attack towns which lack a militia. Or remove the militia by force...
#9 oxybe Jul 19, 2009 10:16:41	step 0) have the men get normal jobs in a small quaint town. preferably as much as part of the guard as possible. step 1) find an orphanage that should contain the following: a group of rambunctious yet adorable children, 5-8 at best. a young and caring nun loved by the locals. MUST be based in a small house/cottage. not too big a small adorable animal as it's mascot (a puppy or kitten preferably) step 2) make nice with the nun, woo her and vow to find a family for the children. THINGS TO DO: win over the children win over the neighborhood get rid of nun's prospective suitors (DO NOT KILL. must find other methods) step 3) when you have found potential families, create an "open house" so they can meet the children. step 4) burn boat, drop on orphanage. cackle maniacally as onlookers scream when they realize you're an inhuman monster. call your men from their position as "townfolk" to slaughter the onlookers. step 5) ****/murder. step 6) pillage step 7) burn rest of town ... what? not all campaigns have access to open ocean or waterways... when life gives you a boat, all you can do at times is a fire...
#10 prator_the_golden Jul 19, 2009 11:46:29	Well, I've got an idea, but whether or not you can implement it depends partly on your campaign setting and your budget. Trying to mimic actual vikings is an obvious choice, but... what if you could get the ship to fly? Binding an air elemental into it, or getting some kind of permanent enchantment on it, would dramatically increase its mobility and the potential it has as a tool of evil. Once you get it up in the air, that's just the beginning. Your next step is to cover it with iron plates or other armor, and consider adding a roof. Mount extra-large crossbows on the gunwales, and carry around barrels of alchemists' fire to drop as bombs. Screw the viking agenda. With a little tuneup, your "viking warship" could become a one-craft Luftwaffe!
#11 MrCelsius Jul 19, 2009 13:37:15	step 0) have the men get normal jobs in a small quaint town. preferably as much as part of the guard as possible. step 1) find an orphanage that should contain the following: a group of rambunctious yet adorable children, 5-8 at best. a young and caring nun loved by the locals. MUST be based in a small house/cottage. not too big a small adorable animal as it's mascot (a puppy or kitten preferably) step 2) make nice with the nun, woo her and vow to find a family for the children. THINGS TO DO: win over the children win over the neighborhood get rid of nun's prospective suitors (DO NOT KILL. must find other methods) step 3) when you have found potential families, create an "open house" so they can meet the children. step 4) burn boat, drop on orphanage. cackle maniacally as onlookers scream when they realize you're an inhuman monster. call your men from their position as "townfolk" to slaughter the onlookers. step 5) ****/murder. step 6) pillage step 7) burn rest of town ... what? not all campaigns have access to open ocean or waterways... when life gives you a boat, all you can do at times is a fire... ...that is exactly what I was going to say. I mean, exactly. Well done indeed, and deserving of a cookie.
#12 Pippa Jul 19, 2009 14:38:28	Place a beloved king in boat. Place in body of water. Then burn it. It's evil if the king wasn't quite dead yet. Other options include: -Rolling it down a cliff to make super-snowball of doom crashing through an unsuspecting valley village, -Renting it to tourists, or letting them pay to make trips on the lake with you, asking waay to much money for what it is, -Giving coastal villages a fright, -hunting endangered marine wildlife with it, -raming other peoples boats with it, then pointing and laughing, -painting the boat in offensive shade of pink, adding zebra-striped cushionings.
#13 mrbloome Jul 19, 2009 14:51:54	Make the crew, if they aren't slaves, help you raid coastal settlements and take people as slaves. Be sure to kill their village leaders in front of them. Make them row the boat, have your raider crew keep getting slaves until the people are so cramped that their hygiene will diminish to an abysmal level. Don't feed them, they'll resort to cannibalism. Then once they've had their will broken and done dark deeds, sacrifice them to whatever evil god someone in your party worships. But be sure that they all die at the exact same time. I remember something from the Book of Vile Darkness, about some big baddie who had ever person in a region have their necks snapped at the same time. That's a big sort of evil right there.
#14 pluisjen Jul 20, 2009 4:15:45	Sorry guys, it was just a stupid mental image I got from the order of actions that I thought I'd share Apparently the joke didn't really come across.
#15 mrdoobie Jul 20, 2009 7:47:55	Well, I've got an idea, but whether or not you can implement it depends partly on your campaign setting and your budget. Trying to mimic actual vikings is an obvious choice, but... what if you could get the ship to fly? Binding an air elemental into it, or getting some kind of permanent enchantment on it, would dramatically increase its mobility and the potential it has as a tool of evil. Once you get it up in the air, that's just the beginning. Your next step is to cover it with iron plates or other armor, and consider adding a roof. Mount extra-large crossbows on the gunwales, and carry around barrels of alchemists' fire to drop as bombs. Screw the viking agenda. With a little tuneup, your "viking warship" could become a one-craft Luftwaffe! Pluisjen, you have to do it! And if you don't do it, well then...