So we have a player in our D&D group who doesn't ever seem to really want to be there, but always IS there.
2 sessions ago: When I'm the dungeon master I've gone to length to add interesting plot elements for their character which are met with oh so great comments like "I feel like your adding interesting stuff for me so I don't quit". Talk about deeply frustrating.
last session: I'm not the DM. We're level 1, its our first adevnture with these characters. We find a healing person. Said player is playing a cleric, they immediately blurt out I take the healing potion. probably not optimal but I can live with it. We TPK on the 2nd encounter. During this encounter the player did the following things:
1. Whined that "these are too hard for level 1s"
2. Never used an action point
3. Never used the healing potion
4. Never used their daily ability
5. Complained even more that theres no way level 1s could beat this
6. Tried to "use a healing surge as a minor action" twice (not a dwarf).
7. Moved the a very bad position then bitched at me to back them up there
This person has played 7? times as has little/no interest in actually learning the rules as far as I can telland needs tons of support while playing/taking their turn. This person also lives where we play. Kicking them out will absolutely end poorly. What the hell do I do?
If he does say he still wants to play, perhaps have him read some sections of the DM handbook so he can learn how much work can go into a campaign, and that the ultimate aim, your aim, is for the PCs to have fun. The DM is sort of the best friend to the PCs, along with taking the role of all the enemies, of course..
Perhaps have him design a background for his character, and give him a (balanced) ability from it. That added uniquness might make him feel more invested and excited about playing his character.
In terms of the game, don't let him a player leader, or a contoller, or a defender. That leaves a straightforward striker. Avoid leader at all costs.
I don't like to wave the essentials banner, but having him play an e-class will cut down on his options. I suggest slayer.
In my experience, there is a class of players who never learn becasue they don't want to. Every time they look at a power card it is a new experience, and often involves misinterpretation. Can your other players help and/or encourage him? Spend a little time outside the game to get him up to speed. 20 minutes and a combat fact sheet can do wonders if he is willing/capable of learning.
Does he contribute anything positive to the game? If he is not good in combat and basic rules knowledge, does he RP, or like story telling? You may be able to hook him with a little more emphasis on whatever elements he enjoys.
I feel your pain.
Consider running your own game at your place.
As a player all you can really do is tell the DM "Hey this guy is driving me insane, here is why. Can you fix it?" After that if things don't change you have to decide if playing this game is worth it.
What the hell do I do?
If you want them to continue to play, you need to be upfront about their attitude being a problem. The stream of complaints/criticism durning the game are inappropriate and serves only to ruin the enjoyment of the game for everyone else. It kind of feels like if this player isn't happy then they are going to do their best to make sure everyone else is unhappy as well.
I'd say something along the lines of: "Look, we want to play with you but the constant negative attitude is really bringing down the fun level of the game for everyone. I understand it's frustrating to face a hard fight and lose, but sometimes that happens and you need to keep in mind that it's demoralizing enough on it's own without the angry commentary. Please try to refrain from negative comments during the game session and, if you have any constructive feedback or critiques for the DM, the best time to bring those up would be after the current session ends and before the next session begins." Should you get such a critique, make sure it's something concrete and not just "it's toooooooooo hard" or somesuch.
On the rules issue, 7 sessions played is hardly enough time for someone to be an expert on the game. You might offer to help this person out with the rules inbetween sessions. For example, running some small skirmish battles to highlight different combat rules might be helpful. You might also sit down and go over their character's abilities and how they work. If they are open to mid-game advice, you might also be able to help them there.
Again, the above assumes you want them to keep playing. If you don't, then just tell them. It might mean moving the game somewhere else, but it also would mean a better quality game.
That, however, might be a bit extreme. So, talk to the rest of the group and see if they feel the same way about this player. If so then maybe it is time for the group to ask him to leave. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone to leave a group if they are having a negative impact on everyone's enjoyment of the game. I know that he lives where you play, but that is no reason to let him stay in the game and ruin it for everyone else. If you do ask him to leave the group then the group should look into playing somewhere else.
Also talk to him. Explain how his negative waves are downer for the others. Then invite him to offer suggestions as to what he would like in order to make it more enjoyable for him. This last part is the most important as he will either, A) present you with ideas that allow you to build an adventure that works for everyone or B) have nothing to say because he just likes to complain. If it is option B, then feel free to reiterate the point about not bringing down the mood for everyone, since it is a collective experience.
Eventually the first player had a meltdown at the table, and stomped off. She never came back. I wish the DM or someone had let her know before that she didn't need to play D&D to hang out. Either way I'd talk to this player in a non-confrontational way. Of course if nothing works then you need to decide either to kick them out, or quit.
So we have a player in our D&D group who doesn't ever seem to really want to be there, but always IS there.
2 sessions ago: When I'm the dungeon master I've gone to length to add interesting plot elements for their character which are met with oh so great comments like "I feel like your adding interesting stuff for me so I don't quit". Talk about deeply frustrating.
This alone implies to me that he's a griefer more than a player - he's at the table more to "just do something" than actually play the game and when things don't go his way he griefs other players to release frustration or overcome boredom. It's also likely he's one of those "the game revolves around me" kind of players so, when the so-called center of the game isn't having his way, he lashes out at everyone else. If these assumptions are true I'd suggest he drop membership in a game that is all about teamwork and usually not revolving around personal glory and control of all situations.
If his comment about you adding content to keep him at the table is genuine, perhaps he indeed does not want to be there and is acting out because of this. If that's the case, let him just quit as he's threatening he will, although I personally think he only mentions possibly quitting so he can command your attention and ultimately hold you and the group hostage.
If he's serious about being a player in the group, a mild threat to remove him if he doesn't cooperate, tone down the grief, and learn the rules (if you are in a position of authority necessary to make such assertions) should be sufficient. If he is just there for the lulz, because he's bored and has nothing else to do, or to actively harass others, it's time to kick him and maybe find a new place to play.
So we have a player in our D&D group who doesn't ever seem to really want to be there, but always IS there.
2 sessions ago: When I'm the dungeon master I've gone to length to add interesting plot elements for their character which are met with oh so great comments like "I feel like your adding interesting stuff for me so I don't quit". Talk about deeply frustrating.
This alone implies to me that he's a griefer more than a player - he's at the table more to "just do something" than actually play the game and when things don't go his way he griefs other players to release frustration or overcome boredom. It's also likely he's one of those "the game revolves around me" kind of players so, when the so-called center of the game isn't having his way, he lashes out at everyone else. If these assumptions are true I'd suggest he drop membership in a game that is all about teamwork and usually not revolving around personal glory and control of all situations.
If his comment about you adding content to keep him at the table is genuine, perhaps he indeed does not want to be there and is acting out because of this. If that's the case, let him just quit as he's threatening he will, although I personally think he only mentions possibly quitting so he can command your attention and ultimately hold you and the group hostage.
If he's serious about being a player in the group, a mild threat to remove him if he doesn't cooperate, tone down the grief, and learn the rules (if you are in a position of authority necessary to make such assertions) should be sufficient. If he is just there for the lulz, because he's bored and has nothing else to do, or to actively harass others, it's time to kick him and maybe find a new place to play.
A very astute observation.
Be honest. Tell him that he's making the hobby less fun for everyone else involved and that needs to change. Either he mans up and stops acting immature and actually buys into the game along with everyone else, or he finds another way to spend his evening. Let it be his choice after you are honest with him.
Some play it for fun and for social interactions, some play it to release emotions and attitude that they keep inside, others play it to escape the real world.
Typically if a player is acting much like his character, it is most likely he is not roleplaying, he is playing to express an extension of his ownself as in acting out what he really wants to do in real life but is unable to do so.
To some people, RPGs are a drug.
It is easy to say you leave the group, easy to say that he needs to man up or act more mature, perhaps they are good answers but they do not explain on the why, it only says on what should be done.
To find out on what to do, you need to find out on why he acts like this.
It is easy to say you leave the group, easy to say that he needs to man up or act more mature, perhaps they are good answers but they do not explain on the why, it only says on what should be done.
To find out on what to do, you need to find out on why he acts like this.
On the other hand, it's not really the OP's right or responsibility to deconstruct this player's personal issues - he's just trying to make a game work with a minimum of drama. I am all about giving people the benefit of the doubt, letting them speak their mind, and helping them out if they ask (and sometimes if they don't), but you don't need to know why a person is disruptive in order to ask them to stop being disruptive if they want to continue playing. He can't reasonably be expected to just suffer an completely disruptive influence while they try to analyze his psyche.
If RPGs are a drug to him, then he needs to seek help from trained professionals, and to try and dig deeper into that would be a disservice, assuming he's not a health care professional already.
This is 50% rant / 50% tell me what to do.
So we have a player in our D&D group who doesn't ever seem to really want to be there, but always IS there.
2 sessions ago: When I'm the dungeon master I've gone to length to add interesting plot elements for their character which are met with oh so great comments like "I feel like your adding interesting stuff for me so I don't quit". Talk about deeply frustrating.
last session: I'm not the DM. We're level 1, its our first adevnture with these characters. We find a healing person. Said player is playing a cleric, they immediately blurt out I take the healing potion. probably not optimal but I can live with it. We TPK on the 2nd encounter. During this encounter the player did the following things:
1. Whined that "these are too hard for level 1s"
2. Never used an action point
3. Never used the healing potion
4. Never used their daily ability
5. Complained even more that theres no way level 1s could beat this
6. Tried to "use a healing surge as a minor action" twice (not a dwarf).
7. Moved the a very bad position then bitched at me to back them up there
This person has played 7? times as has little/no interest in actually learning the rules as far as I can telland needs tons of support while playing/taking their turn. This person also lives where we play. Kicking them out will absolutely end poorly. What the hell do I do?
Grow a set and stop whining.
We had a perfectly capable individual in our own group, same thing, never really seemed to give a damn about actually learning the game, was a pain IN the game and so we did what YOU are supposed to do, we got rid of him. Lied to him, told him the game was on hiatus, yes we lied to him. It's not a crime to turf a jack ass.
So what he lives there, tell him he sucks, and like I said grow a set.
What, you expect all the replies on this thread are going to be mabby pamby hand holding romper room time warm and fuzzies?
If you can't figure out how to get rid of a loser from a damned game, your life is going to sure be a long disapoointment.
Grow a set and stop whining.
...Lied to him, told him the game was on hiatus, yes we lied to him. It's not a crime to turf a jack ass....
So what he lives there, tell him he sucks, and like I said grow a set.
Hypocritical much?
Talk to him, get rid of him if necessary but don't hide from him...and especially don't hide from him and respond on a message board to a similar issue with "Grow a set and stop whining" when you didn't take your own advice.
I've had to shut down campaigns before due to too many players at the table making the game miserable. It's not easy to say,"I don't enjoy playing with you" to people you know but sometimes it's necessary.
Grow a set and stop whining.
We had a perfectly capable individual in our own group, same thing, never really seemed to give a damn about actually learning the game, was a pain IN the game and so we did what YOU are supposed to do, we got rid of him. Lied to him, told him the game was on hiatus, yes we lied to him. It's not a crime to turf a jack ass.
So what he lives there, tell him he sucks, and like I said grow a set.
Apparently YOU need to grow a set as well. Sorry buddy, but lying to someone to get them out of the game isn't what people who have a pair do. You should have told him to his face that he was too disruptive to continue and that he wasn't welcome anymore.
The how is irrelevant. If you decide to hide his favourite pet parrot in a wardrobe and lock him in when he goes to search, fine. Just make sure you actually get from A to B.