Favoritism with the dm - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

Favoritism with the dm

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
frustrated_gamer
Mar 07, 2010 16:52:03 Hello everyone! I love dnd much like everyone else here, only it bothers me intensely when a dm brings favoritism into the campaign, and by this I mean showering gifts and affection on a particular player. One of the players in our game has multiple characters who have each had great things happen to them. One of the players characters has the ability to change into a full-fledged gold dragon. In addition, this character is watched over by a god (No shes not a priest). So due to this the character is immune to all psionic attacks. This character was also allowed to marry into elven royalty, so now the character has access to all the old magicks that the elves use (No shes not elven, not even 1/2). Another one of the player's characters is half were-cat, and is now the "Great Cat God." This character died but through very obscure and sketchy circumstances was allowed back into the game, back under the players control. Also another one of the players characters is a half-elf thief who married a greater were-wolf archmage. The archmage bestows many blessings upon the character and now the thief has a pet beholder (I'll leave the possibilies up to you). It just frustrates me that this partcular character has all their desires realized while the rest of us players have to work and plan really hard to get anything accomplished while "The Player" gets everything they want with little imagination, and little effort. When I confront the DM and the player about this they chalk it up to me being whiny and just looking for problems where there are none. I dont want to make problems I just want equality across the board. By the way we play second edition.
#2
sillen
Mar 07, 2010 18:14:03
I doubt what edition you play has much to do with anything here.
My uneducated guess is she's flirty with the DM, or this is the DM's way of trying to be flirty with her.
Acctually I'd wager the latter to be the most likely.
#3
salla
Mar 07, 2010 19:31:50 That's 100 percent pure bad DMing there. There are two basic ways to deal with this; the direct approach, and the passive-aggressive approach.

Direct approach: "I'm tired of the blatant favoritism you're showing (Player). It's not fair, it's not fun, and I'm out of here."

Passive-Aggressive approach: Continue to play, but don't do anything. Make it clear that your character is superfluous around The Chosen One. "Okay, it's your turn, what do you do?" "Munch on some popcorn. No reason for me to lift a finger, (Player)'s got so much going for her that I'd just get in the way." Continue until someone flips out.
#4
itsme4eva1
Mar 07, 2010 21:00:48 There are a few ways to solve this

1. A quick efficient way to solve things but the players may get angry and leave the group is to DM a game and show favoratism to the other players and if the 2 people ask why just say this is what I have been dealing with in your games.

2. Talk to the DM about it alone and then after that talk to the player. Splitting them up may make them willing to talk to you about it, because they realize that the other one will not know about it. And make sure to tell both that you will not tell the other.

3.Just have your character in game be angry with the player. Doing this will show the DM that you are mad about something and might just come and ask you about it. And just tell him that he is being unfair to both you and many other players in the game.

No matter which choice you make just make sure you dont just completely yell at them be cool about it and they will be much more likely to understand what you are dealing with. Also it might be a good idea to have all your other players with you when you do choice 2 or 3 cause there is strength in numbers.
#5
johnkretzer
Mar 08, 2010 9:41:47 The other thing you can do is talk to the other players...they probably have the same issue that you do.

If they do then as a group talk about it. The DM and the player can't just say you are whinning and looking for problems where there is none if the whole group points this out.
#6
mrdelirious
Mar 08, 2010 17:55:40 Direct approaches are almost always better. Suddenly attacking the PC makes you seem jerkish and vindictive. Approaching the DM and telling him that the situation feels unfair, and you feel like Aquaman in the Superfriends.

You know, or something.
#7
aztok
Mar 08, 2010 18:47:26 As above, talk to the DM about this, the fact that the (player) gets the superpowers isn't the problem. If the DM was doing his job, he would favor actions, and not players.

What I mean is that the DM's job is to allow everyone equal opportunity to find and enjoy special benefits from working in-game for them (nothing wrong with marrying into royalty, if your character works for it!) but when the DM just heaps on bonuses for doing nothing, that is the DM's fault.

This is, of course, assuming that the DM isn't just some puppet of the (player). If the DM is wrapped around the (player)'s finger, then and only then can you confront the (player).

If after you talk to the DM and he refuses to change his actions, then just straight-up quit. If you aren't getting equal opportunity under the DM then it isn't right. It may suck to not play, but you leaving might just show them how frustrated you feel, and might help. If nothing changes, that I would personally not want to associate with them.
#8
medhia_nox
Mar 08, 2010 23:44:39 Normally - I would ask what you're doing to push your stories. Many times I've experiences "Pro-Active" players getting rewards that "Re-Active" players won't. Then the Re-Active players become embittered - the reality, they didn't even both trying to get anything.

You stated plainly that others have goals and strive hard to achieve them - while this other person simply creates goal and seems to accomplish them with simplicity.

There's only one option - express your views and then make a decision based on the outcome. Talk to your DM - express your views, don't enter a dialogue. You already tried talking to him - and he claimed you were whiny. If he still has no intentions of changing - then decide whether or not you're going to continue playing.

In fact - decide whether or not you're prepared to quit playing before continuing any further. If you're not prepared to stop - then I wouldn't even say anything. Your DM has you where he wants you - he's not going to change.
#9
dionnecurat
Mar 09, 2010 1:38:17 The best way to go about it is to let the DM know what's going on. HOW to do that is up to you, but keep these things in mind:

-Be careful how you bring it up to him/her. Instead of saying, "THIS PLAYER GETS X AND X AND X AND I GET DIDDLY SQUAT!!! YOU SUCK!!!" say something like, "So I've been noticing that I'm working harder than Player to achieve a character goal, while they just happen to achieve it."

-Let him/her know it isn't only you that feels this way. It will give you a stronger voice.

-If all else fails, take Salla's passive-aggressive approach. Having your character do nothing while still in a group may hinder the group altogether, but it has the potential to expose the favoritism.

Note how I don't suggest quitting. If you absolutely have to, then quit. The reason why I don't like flat out quitting a game is because I feel it hinders the others in the group that depend on your character's skills and abilities. But hey, that's just me.
#10
thomasjtheobald
Mar 09, 2010 6:17:11 Hmm.

"You know, when you freely give away the entire candy store to XYZ while I bust ass for crumbs, it makes me feel a lot like a side-show clown, and last I checked that ain't a skill my PC is trained for. Would you please cut the crap and play fair? Or maybe move XYZ to another separate campaign away from us so I don't have to bear witness to the drivel?"

That'd be my choice.

T

#11
chanter_hound
Mar 09, 2010 9:38:54 Yeah.

In my 2nd edition game, one player apperently suddenly gained a psedodragon familiar or something like that. I could see that some of the other players didn't like that too much.. but it had to be done I think because the DM screwed up a bit.

Never introduce the new player into the game who is playing a Lupin at the same time the party is fighting werewolves, unless you can make damn well sure that the previous party will understand (RP wise) that the lupin isn't an enemy.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 frustrated_gamer Mar 07, 2010 16:52:03	Hello everyone! I love dnd much like everyone else here, only it bothers me intensely when a dm brings favoritism into the campaign, and by this I mean showering gifts and affection on a particular player. One of the players in our game has multiple characters who have each had great things happen to them. One of the players characters has the ability to change into a full-fledged gold dragon. In addition, this character is watched over by a god (No shes not a priest). So due to this the character is immune to all psionic attacks. This character was also allowed to marry into elven royalty, so now the character has access to all the old magicks that the elves use (No shes not elven, not even 1/2). Another one of the player's characters is half were-cat, and is now the "Great Cat God." This character died but through very obscure and sketchy circumstances was allowed back into the game, back under the players control. Also another one of the players characters is a half-elf thief who married a greater were-wolf archmage. The archmage bestows many blessings upon the character and now the thief has a pet beholder (I'll leave the possibilies up to you). It just frustrates me that this partcular character has all their desires realized while the rest of us players have to work and plan really hard to get anything accomplished while "The Player" gets everything they want with little imagination, and little effort. When I confront the DM and the player about this they chalk it up to me being whiny and just looking for problems where there are none. I dont want to make problems I just want equality across the board. By the way we play second edition.
#2 sillen Mar 07, 2010 18:14:03	I doubt what edition you play has much to do with anything here. My uneducated guess is she's flirty with the DM, or this is the DM's way of trying to be flirty with her. Acctually I'd wager the latter to be the most likely.
#3 salla Mar 07, 2010 19:31:50	That's 100 percent pure bad DMing there. There are two basic ways to deal with this; the direct approach, and the passive-aggressive approach. Direct approach: "I'm tired of the blatant favoritism you're showing (Player). It's not fair, it's not fun, and I'm out of here." Passive-Aggressive approach: Continue to play, but don't do anything. Make it clear that your character is superfluous around The Chosen One. "Okay, it's your turn, what do you do?" "Munch on some popcorn. No reason for me to lift a finger, (Player)'s got so much going for her that I'd just get in the way." Continue until someone flips out.
#4 itsme4eva1 Mar 07, 2010 21:00:48	There are a few ways to solve this 1. A quick efficient way to solve things but the players may get angry and leave the group is to DM a game and show favoratism to the other players and if the 2 people ask why just say this is what I have been dealing with in your games. 2. Talk to the DM about it alone and then after that talk to the player. Splitting them up may make them willing to talk to you about it, because they realize that the other one will not know about it. And make sure to tell both that you will not tell the other. 3.Just have your character in game be angry with the player. Doing this will show the DM that you are mad about something and might just come and ask you about it. And just tell him that he is being unfair to both you and many other players in the game. No matter which choice you make just make sure you dont just completely yell at them be cool about it and they will be much more likely to understand what you are dealing with. Also it might be a good idea to have all your other players with you when you do choice 2 or 3 cause there is strength in numbers.
#5 johnkretzer Mar 08, 2010 9:41:47	The other thing you can do is talk to the other players...they probably have the same issue that you do. If they do then as a group talk about it. The DM and the player can't just say you are whinning and looking for problems where there is none if the whole group points this out.
#6 mrdelirious Mar 08, 2010 17:55:40	Direct approaches are almost always better. Suddenly attacking the PC makes you seem jerkish and vindictive. Approaching the DM and telling him that the situation feels unfair, and you feel like Aquaman in the Superfriends. You know, or something.
#7 aztok Mar 08, 2010 18:47:26	As above, talk to the DM about this, the fact that the (player) gets the superpowers isn't the problem. If the DM was doing his job, he would favor actions, and not players. What I mean is that the DM's job is to allow everyone equal opportunity to find and enjoy special benefits from working in-game for them (nothing wrong with marrying into royalty, if your character works for it!) but when the DM just heaps on bonuses for doing nothing, that is the DM's fault. This is, of course, assuming that the DM isn't just some puppet of the (player). If the DM is wrapped around the (player)'s finger, then and only then can you confront the (player). If after you talk to the DM and he refuses to change his actions, then just straight-up quit. If you aren't getting equal opportunity under the DM then it isn't right. It may suck to not play, but you leaving might just show them how frustrated you feel, and might help. If nothing changes, that I would personally not want to associate with them.
#8 medhia_nox Mar 08, 2010 23:44:39	Normally - I would ask what you're doing to push your stories. Many times I've experiences "Pro-Active" players getting rewards that "Re-Active" players won't. Then the Re-Active players become embittered - the reality, they didn't even both trying to get anything. You stated plainly that others have goals and strive hard to achieve them - while this other person simply creates goal and seems to accomplish them with simplicity. There's only one option - express your views and then make a decision based on the outcome. Talk to your DM - express your views, don't enter a dialogue. You already tried talking to him - and he claimed you were whiny. If he still has no intentions of changing - then decide whether or not you're going to continue playing. In fact - decide whether or not you're prepared to quit playing before continuing any further. If you're not prepared to stop - then I wouldn't even say anything. Your DM has you where he wants you - he's not going to change.
#9 dionnecurat Mar 09, 2010 1:38:17	The best way to go about it is to let the DM know what's going on. HOW to do that is up to you, but keep these things in mind: -Be careful how you bring it up to him/her. Instead of saying, "THIS PLAYER GETS X AND X AND X AND I GET DIDDLY SQUAT!!! YOU SUCK!!!" say something like, "So I've been noticing that I'm working harder than Player to achieve a character goal, while they just happen to achieve it." -Let him/her know it isn't only you that feels this way. It will give you a stronger voice. -If all else fails, take Salla's passive-aggressive approach. Having your character do nothing while still in a group may hinder the group altogether, but it has the potential to expose the favoritism. Note how I don't suggest quitting. If you absolutely have to, then quit. The reason why I don't like flat out quitting a game is because I feel it hinders the others in the group that depend on your character's skills and abilities. But hey, that's just me.
#10 thomasjtheobald Mar 09, 2010 6:17:11	Hmm. "You know, when you freely give away the entire candy store to XYZ while I bust ass for crumbs, it makes me feel a lot like a side-show clown, and last I checked that ain't a skill my PC is trained for. Would you please cut the crap and play fair? Or maybe move XYZ to another separate campaign away from us so I don't have to bear witness to the drivel?" That'd be my choice. T
#11 chanter_hound Mar 09, 2010 9:38:54	Yeah. In my 2nd edition game, one player apperently suddenly gained a psedodragon familiar or something like that. I could see that some of the other players didn't like that too much.. but it had to be done I think because the DM screwed up a bit. Never introduce the new player into the game who is playing a Lupin at the same time the party is fighting werewolves, unless you can make damn well sure that the previous party will understand (RP wise) that the lupin isn't an enemy.