Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 brutticus Dec 11, 2011 17:39:50	okay, so if this was any other game, i could just leave and tell them i personal problems. But this group is one of the longest running. It began close to five years ago, when one of my friends asked me to run a game. I asked two of my friends, M and T, to join, and i kept that campaign running for a year and a half.  It should have ended there. But one of the people in the game decided he wanted a shot at DMing. I was burned out, and i agreed. He's been a terrible DM. four terrible, aborted campaign start ups and 3 years later, iv grinned and bore it. To exerbate matters, the delicate equilibrium has been shattered by the addition of two people to our table. One is a new player i dont expect to stick around, but he might. the other is M's girlfriend, who he foolishly invited to sit in on our sessions. Her presense grates me to no end, and there's no way i can convince T, the DM, to evict her from the table. The group has changed, and i feel like the time for me to move on is long overdue. I'm sick of being the "rules lawyer" (that is, the guy who knows the rules. I'm not a rules lawyer at all.) We've gotten into stupid arguements over elementry rules (like the rules for MBA damage notation, for instance.)  But M and T from above are two of my closest friends. We were before i started this group, and we still hang out outside of it. I just get headaches from playing Dungeons and Dragons with them.  Is it possible at all, at this point, to ditch this group without hurting their feelings?
#2 mousewithchainsaw Dec 11, 2011 19:57:40	You just have to tell them how you feel about the game itself and how its been running and you might consider leaving if no change is made. But if your friends are overly sensitive (One of ours was and he left when we were honest with him.) you just have to grin and bare it and still be foreward, better then trying to grin and bare it until it becomes a heated fight. Sometimes people get offended and other times they understand and try to improve, but saying nothing at all wont cure anything.
#3 kare Dec 12, 2011 6:20:41	Hey, This seems to be quite a common problem. Basically, you run a great, well integrated campaign, then T takes over as DM (because, of course, you're burned out from all the effort), and thinks he has to run a great, well integrated campaign. What he should do is run a published adventure, get some experience running some fun, well-designed encounters, and that'll ease him into DMing. Umm... if M and his GF are serious, she's going to be a fixture in that guy's life. Either you're going to have to get used to her, or get a new friend there. The only 'ray of hope' in your case (not, sadly, for M), is if she's just not that into D&D, which might go a long way towards explaining why you're upset with her at the sessions if you otherwise get along with her. In which case, she'll be your ally when you suggest to M that perhaps she's not having much fun and should take the opportunity for some girl time that evening. Still, togetherness is important for a couple, and if he's not spending other nights with her, he'll probably have to chose to cut down on his solo commitments - which might well mean his quitting the game. PS: This is easier if the game is a fixed, scheduled night, otherwise they'll constantly be raising it between themselves as they try to make plans. Yours, JMH
#4 Krusk Dec 12, 2011 9:36:28	Hey Guys, some stuff has come up and I can't make dnd for the forseeable future. I'll let you know if that changes.  If pressed say "The game isn't really doing it for me anymore, and I need some extra time for X so thats what I'm gonna bump."  X being family, work, signifigant other, knitting, judo, whatever.
#5 warrl Dec 14, 2011 22:09:01	The only 'ray of hope' in your case (not, sadly, for M), is if she's just not that into D&D, which might go a long way towards explaining why you're upset with her at the sessions if you otherwise get along with her. In which case, she'll be your ally when you suggest to M that perhaps she's not having much fun and should take the opportunity for some girl time that evening. At this point, this thread needs a Tempts Fate link... The basics are, quit being a player in this campaign. And tell them this is happening - don't just disappear. Now, what do you want to do instead? Find another campaign to play in? Start a new campaign to DM? Take over as DM in this campaign again? Something not related to role-playing games? The answer to that question affects *how* you tell them.
#6 randomvirus Dec 25, 2011 2:49:49	My wife is a player in a game that I DM.  She's pretty quiet, she doesn't do a lot of RP'ing, and sometimes rolls a d20 to get a desirable result (even though the other players know this and laughingly chastise this behavior reporting what she actually rolled the first time much to her chagrin.)  But if anybody ever told me "Hey, man, can your wife not be in the games anymore?"  I'd tell them to take a hike. This guy's girlfriend will be around as long as they're together.  And what actually bothers you about her? Does she sit in silence and just text on a phone during the sessions?  Does she make fun of people acting in character?  Or does she actually play the game with you?  (Sounded like she's just a bystander.)  Are the problems with her your problems? If you really don't enjoy playing with them then tell them that.  Say it to their face that it's not fun for you anymore and it's time you sought other people.  People appreciate honesty.  Often not immediately, but later on they will.
#7 DimondDust Dec 25, 2011 10:51:51	This thread reminds me of the Brokeback Mountain quote:  "Jack Twist: God, I wish I knew how to quit you!" ;P