How should I handle this? - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

How should I handle this?

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
roninfrosty
Mar 30, 2008 19:07:39 I'm gonna apologize in advance for all the wonderful backstory...I feel like it's necessary to explain HOW much this game means to me, lol. And what can I say, I'm a storyteller at heart :D...

So, back when I was in high school, and before work schedules and bills took their toll, my friends and I used to have a weekly game. We'd play on Friday nights after we all got out of our part time jobs, and fun was had by all.

Fast forward 3 years. Three of us have enlisted and came back (all of us went in the Navy under the National Call to Serve program...if a recruiter EVER tries to get you to sign up under that, tell him to die), but now our schedules are completely out of whack. One of us is unemployed, two work schedules that are subject to change from week to week, and the myself and one other work an afternoon to early morning shift at a computer production facility.

Well, I started looking at all our schedules, and found that the only time that ALL of us would be available to play would be Saturday morning (like 2AM, lol), after myself and the other guy got off work from Friday night. I contact everyone, and I get votes of approval, so we now have a game. Sweet! All of that was to really emphasize how tough it was to get this game started, so here comes the actual problem:

The game got a new player, in the form of the girlfriend of the unemployed fellow. Only he and I really know her that well, so I was OK with her playing, but kinda worried about whether or not the other players would accept her or not. I figured we'd see.

When we started the game, we didn't know who was going to DM. I stepped up and said I could wing the first session, then plan a little ahead. I do NOT like playing by ear as a DM, but I figured I could handle one session, and prepare for the rest. So, I imagine I came off as a little stressed and peeved as we played. Some of the players were definitely not prepared for this late of a game, and we only got like 3 hours into it before everyone was ready for bed. No big, we'll pick back up next weekend, once everyone's ready for this late gaming. Well, the following week at work, the guy I work with is dropping some not-so-subtle hints that he'd like to DM. Such as:

"Hey man, if you don't want to DM anymore, I can do it."
"Nah, dude, I'm fine. I just don't like winging sessions, but I've got some stuff written up for this week. I'll be OK."
"Well...if you change your mind, I'll DM."
"Dude, what the hell? I never said anything about not wanting to DM. Do you WANT to DM or something? I can step aside if you'd like..."
"Nah, but if you don't want to anymore..."

And so on and so forth. Finally, I get irritated and tell him to DM. He's as happy as a kid in a candy shop, and as I've recently purchased the ToB, this'll give me an opportunity to play a Warblade, which I've really been itching to do. We played our second session yesterday morning (eaaaarly yesterday morning, lol), and now to make this a bit easier, I'll just list the issues I had:

Too Many Players/New Players
So, as I'm leaving work last Friday, I'm approached by another guy I work with (who I don't know outside of work) who tells me he's been invited to follow us and play in our game, by the DM. Did the DM tell me about this? No. As a matter of fact, he didn't tell anyone. I didn't know till the guy said he was following me. That really, really annoyed me.

Secondly, I'm not the kind of player who absolutely has to have the spotlight, but like anyone else, I'd like a little focus on my character occasionally. When you have a group of players that looks like this:

-Me
-Unemployed
-His Brother
-His Girlfriend
-Guy with Suspect Schedule
-Another one with a suspect schedule
-Random guy from work that the DM invited without consulting anyone

...it's a bit tough to get any screen time. Everyone wants the focus on their character as they're trying to do something, and it's difficult. Especially when...

The DM Plays Favorites
The DM has been friends with Guy with Suspect Schedule since long before he was friends with any of us. As such, he's talked with this player and worked out some crazy back story about him having been convicted of Conspiracy to Assassinate the King (or something along those lines). That, in and of itself, doesn't bother me, other than the fact that he spent NO time with anyone else as they made their characters. None of us have any long range plans as far as the DM is concerned, except for GwSS. Next problem:

New/Immature Players
Yes, D&D is about having fun. And I'm all for people having fun. But when your fun intrudes on my suspension of disbelief, I get kind of annoyed. Case in point: The Dude that the DM Invited (TDttDI) is playing a bard. Named Charles Ingalls. Who plays a fiddle. His Fascinate song is "Gimme Back My Bullets". His Inspire Courage song is "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". Between him and the Girlfriend, who constantly uses modern American lingo throughout the game, I'm starting to lose my mind. Next:

The DM Doesn't Care
I actually spoke to the DM about some concerns I had, which involved his pacing. We started at level 1, and after one session, jumped to level 3. He's also started handing out magic items like they're candy. I've got a helmet with +1 Con, the Fighter has full plate that gives +2 Str, +2 Con, one rogue has a scimitar with Flaming Burst on it, and we're only level 3.

I talked to him about it, and he said he didn't see a problem. I know it's his game, so his rules, but I feel that like if a player isn't enjoying the game (I enjoy the story he's laid out for us, but the pacing is seriously annoying me. I don't want to be overpowered at level 3...), he should at least take it into consideration. AFAIK, none of the other players has said anything.

Now, I know I seem really whiny, but I worked really hard to get this game together, and I'm just not having fun. The DM, as I said, doesn't seem to care, and he's the only person (so far) that I've talked to about it. What should I do? I don't feel that I possess enough tact to handle this without disbanding the group. Any suggestions?
#2
Demetri_Knighthawk
Mar 30, 2008 19:41:39 sadly, roll with it, for now, see what his plans are, but do explain to him that he should have asked the rest of us about the new player. GF is okay, but this new guy out of the blue is a bit much. At worst ask the players to make one reset and start at the begining again with all th eplayers having a better understanding. better yet, have the characters part that adventure to come back 1 year(level) later, let them come back to the table with fully fleshed out backstories.
#3
roninfrosty
Mar 30, 2008 19:52:58 Unfortunately, I know what his plans are (mainly because I'm familiar with an old campaign of his, which I didn't play in, but have heard lots about). He's taking us the ruins of a city called Glory, which was destroyed by his pet BBEG. He's already introduced us to two former player characters as NPCs, so I'm fairly certain that, rather than be creative, he's going to work this old BBEG back into the storyline.

But I suppose I can relax a bit...I'm just kind of a high strung person, I suppose, and all this happening at once is really cramping my style. Any other ideas?
#4
drmorganes
Mar 30, 2008 21:50:42 All this after only one session?

Chill for a while and enjoy your Warblade. You may have to put serious roleplaying on the back burner for this one, but as long as the loot more or less evens out and everyone is having fun, it's all good. In fact, take a look at just how good this is:
You're starting your game at 2 a.m. It's not unusual for game to end at 2 a.m., but to start one?
You have 6 players. Who are willing to start a game at 2 a.m.
TDttDI seems to have a sense of humor. That could be fun. Very fun!
You know most of the group already. Two of them are long-time friends.
You have a few new players.

Overall, I think you're coming off as a bit too "roleplaying games are serious business". Yes, there are things that will grate on a seasoned roleplayer's nevers (massive xp awards, overdoing treasure, oddball magic items, a DM who seems to have only played computer-based RPGs, etc., etc.), but it's in everyone's best interest if you overlook them for now and just have some fun. That is, after all, why you wanted to do this right? To have fun with your friends? This has the makings of a fun dungeon crawl. Lighten up and play along. :D

Take the time to show a little roleplaying panache to help the newbies get comfortable with the concept of being "in character" (not everyone takes to that idea like a duck to water, y'know). Help everyone get to know the rules.
Continue to work on your original campaign idea in your free time, and offer to run it when the current campaign winds down.
#5
the_black_hand
Mar 30, 2008 22:32:19
The DM Doesn't Care
I actually spoke to the DM about some concerns I had, which involved his pacing. We started at level 1, and after one session, jumped to level 3. He's also started handing out magic items like they're candy. I've got a helmet with +1 Con, the Fighter has full plate that gives +2 Str, +2 Con, one rogue has a scimitar with Flaming Burst on it, and we're only level 3.

Helmets are pretty worthless in D&D since there are no called shots, but still that helmet would have to be a +1 (atleast) by the rules in order for it to give +1 con bonus. (the system isn't really even set up for this kind of thing)

This helmet would worth approx 2,000 gold by the magic item rules.

The Full Plate armor would be worth well 8,000 per stat on it.
Has to be atleast a +1 set of armor to hold the stats 1,000.
Has to be masterwork Quality 1,650.
So, 18,650 gp.(wish my GM was half this generous).

The Flaming Burst Scimitar.
Has to be atleast +1. The Burst gives is a +2 Equivelent.
So this is a +3 weapon over all.
18,000 Gold + the cost of a masterwork scimitar (about 120 gold)

So your DM gave out nearly 40k worth of gear to a party of 3rd level characters. I think he playing video games way too much.
#6
roninfrosty
Mar 30, 2008 23:16:52
All this after only one session?

Chill for a while and enjoy your Warblade. You may have to put serious roleplaying on the back burner for this one, but as long as the loot more or less evens out and everyone is having fun, it's all good. In fact, take a look at just how good this is:
You're starting your game at 2 a.m. It's not unusual for game to end at 2 a.m., but to start one?
You have 6 players. Who are willing to start a game at 2 a.m.
TDttDI seems to have a sense of humor. That could be fun. Very fun!
You know most of the group already. Two of them are long-time friends.
You have a few new players.

Overall, I think you're coming off as a bit too "roleplaying games are serious business". Yes, there are things that will grate on a seasoned roleplayer's nevers (massive xp awards, overdoing treasure, oddball magic items, a DM who seems to have only played computer-based RPGs, etc., etc.), but it's in everyone's best interest if you overlook them for now and just have some fun. That is, after all, why you wanted to do this right? To have fun with your friends? This has the makings of a fun dungeon crawl. Lighten up and play along. :D

Take the time to show a little roleplaying panache to help the newbies get comfortable with the concept of being "in character" (not everyone takes to that idea like a duck to water, y'know). Help everyone get to know the rules.
Continue to work on your original campaign idea in your free time, and offer to run it when the current campaign winds down.

I see what you're saying, and while I appreciate it, optimism isn't my thing. I'm more of a realist :P

But all jokes aside (and it's been two sessions, by the by), while I do try to appreciate the fact that all these people are going way out of their way to make this game, and I know the game can't make me happy to the exclusion of all others, I would think at the very least, the DM ought to be concerned that at least one of his players isn't enjoying the game.

Helmets are pretty worthless in D&D since there are no called shots, but still that helmet would have to be a +1 (atleast) by the rules in order for it to give +1 con bonus. (the system isn't really even set up for this kind of thing)

This helmet would worth approx 2,000 gold by the magic item rules.

The Full Plate armor would be worth well 8,000 per stat on it.
Has to be atleast a +1 set of armor to hold the stats 1,000.
Has to be masterwork Quality 1,650.
So, 18,650 gp.(wish my GM was half this generous).

The Flaming Burst Scimitar.
Has to be atleast +1. The Burst gives is a +2 Equivelent.
So this is a +3 weapon over all.
18,000 Gold + the cost of a masterwork scimitar (about 120 gold)

So your DM gave out nearly 40k worth of gear to a party of 3rd level characters. I think he playing video games way too much.

I already know the problem, lol, I need a solution! :D
#7
kouk
Mar 31, 2008 1:01:42 Well, such a Monty Hall (Haul) campaign is not necessarily a problem as long as the encounters are still challenging. Think of it as a high-magic campaign world. Most campaigns have some kind of shtick to them, something that sets them apart from "standard" D&D.

I can understand if you may not like having items that seem to be the power base of your character, but try to deal with it.

With such a divergent schedule, and that you guys seem to be having a hard time with getting the game to run (new player not withstanding) it is quite likely the group is perfectly OK with just a sit-down and hack-and-slash game. Serious Roleplaying can take a lot of effort and thought, and they may just want to blow off some steam by bashing heads and goofing around with friends before they have to go to sleep.

When I am half-asleep, I can barely RP anything. It's even a wonder if I remember to use all my class abilities when the correct opportunities present themselves, let alone do modifier math right.

If you very much would like to DM, then take turns. One week on, one week off.
#8
roninfrosty
Mar 31, 2008 3:18:13 It's not so much that I WANT to DM, I was just ready. It annoyed me that he didn't just step up to begin with, and kept "hinting" at it.

The general consensus is to relax and try to enjoy it. I'll certainly try, and I suppose I'll post an update next week. Till then, thanks much for the feedback!

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 roninfrosty Mar 30, 2008 19:07:39	I'm gonna apologize in advance for all the wonderful backstory...I feel like it's necessary to explain HOW much this game means to me, lol. And what can I say, I'm a storyteller at heart :D... So, back when I was in high school, and before work schedules and bills took their toll, my friends and I used to have a weekly game. We'd play on Friday nights after we all got out of our part time jobs, and fun was had by all. Fast forward 3 years. Three of us have enlisted and came back (all of us went in the Navy under the National Call to Serve program...if a recruiter EVER tries to get you to sign up under that, tell him to die), but now our schedules are completely out of whack. One of us is unemployed, two work schedules that are subject to change from week to week, and the myself and one other work an afternoon to early morning shift at a computer production facility. Well, I started looking at all our schedules, and found that the only time that ALL of us would be available to play would be Saturday morning (like 2AM, lol), after myself and the other guy got off work from Friday night. I contact everyone, and I get votes of approval, so we now have a game. Sweet! All of that was to really emphasize how tough it was to get this game started, so here comes the actual problem: The game got a new player, in the form of the girlfriend of the unemployed fellow. Only he and I really know her that well, so I was OK with her playing, but kinda worried about whether or not the other players would accept her or not. I figured we'd see. When we started the game, we didn't know who was going to DM. I stepped up and said I could wing the first session, then plan a little ahead. I do NOT like playing by ear as a DM, but I figured I could handle one session, and prepare for the rest. So, I imagine I came off as a little stressed and peeved as we played. Some of the players were definitely not prepared for this late of a game, and we only got like 3 hours into it before everyone was ready for bed. No big, we'll pick back up next weekend, once everyone's ready for this late gaming. Well, the following week at work, the guy I work with is dropping some not-so-subtle hints that he'd like to DM. Such as: "Hey man, if you don't want to DM anymore, I can do it." "Nah, dude, I'm fine. I just don't like winging sessions, but I've got some stuff written up for this week. I'll be OK." "Well...if you change your mind, I'll DM." "Dude, what the hell? I never said anything about not wanting to DM. Do you WANT to DM or something? I can step aside if you'd like..." "Nah, but if you don't want to anymore..." And so on and so forth. Finally, I get irritated and tell him to DM. He's as happy as a kid in a candy shop, and as I've recently purchased the ToB, this'll give me an opportunity to play a Warblade, which I've really been itching to do. We played our second session yesterday morning (eaaaarly yesterday morning, lol), and now to make this a bit easier, I'll just list the issues I had: Too Many Players/New Players So, as I'm leaving work last Friday, I'm approached by another guy I work with (who I don't know outside of work) who tells me he's been invited to follow us and play in our game, by the DM. Did the DM tell me about this? No. As a matter of fact, he didn't tell anyone. I didn't know till the guy said he was following me. That really, really annoyed me. Secondly, I'm not the kind of player who absolutely has to have the spotlight, but like anyone else, I'd like a little focus on my character occasionally. When you have a group of players that looks like this: -Me -Unemployed -His Brother -His Girlfriend -Guy with Suspect Schedule -Another one with a suspect schedule -Random guy from work that the DM invited without consulting anyone ...it's a bit tough to get any screen time. Everyone wants the focus on their character as they're trying to do something, and it's difficult. Especially when... The DM Plays Favorites The DM has been friends with Guy with Suspect Schedule since long before he was friends with any of us. As such, he's talked with this player and worked out some crazy back story about him having been convicted of Conspiracy to Assassinate the King (or something along those lines). That, in and of itself, doesn't bother me, other than the fact that he spent NO time with anyone else as they made their characters. None of us have any long range plans as far as the DM is concerned, except for GwSS. Next problem: New/Immature Players Yes, D&D is about having fun. And I'm all for people having fun. But when your fun intrudes on my suspension of disbelief, I get kind of annoyed. Case in point: The Dude that the DM Invited (TDttDI) is playing a bard. Named Charles Ingalls. Who plays a fiddle. His Fascinate song is "Gimme Back My Bullets". His Inspire Courage song is "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". Between him and the Girlfriend, who constantly uses modern American lingo throughout the game, I'm starting to lose my mind. Next: The DM Doesn't Care I actually spoke to the DM about some concerns I had, which involved his pacing. We started at level 1, and after one session, jumped to level 3. He's also started handing out magic items like they're candy. I've got a helmet with +1 Con, the Fighter has full plate that gives +2 Str, +2 Con, one rogue has a scimitar with Flaming Burst on it, and we're only level 3. I talked to him about it, and he said he didn't see a problem. I know it's his game, so his rules, but I feel that like if a player isn't enjoying the game (I enjoy the story he's laid out for us, but the pacing is seriously annoying me. I don't want to be overpowered at level 3...), he should at least take it into consideration. AFAIK, none of the other players has said anything. Now, I know I seem really whiny, but I worked really hard to get this game together, and I'm just not having fun. The DM, as I said, doesn't seem to care, and he's the only person (so far) that I've talked to about it. What should I do? I don't feel that I possess enough tact to handle this without disbanding the group. Any suggestions?
#2 Demetri_Knighthawk Mar 30, 2008 19:41:39	sadly, roll with it, for now, see what his plans are, but do explain to him that he should have asked the rest of us about the new player. GF is okay, but this new guy out of the blue is a bit much. At worst ask the players to make one reset and start at the begining again with all th eplayers having a better understanding. better yet, have the characters part that adventure to come back 1 year(level) later, let them come back to the table with fully fleshed out backstories.
#3 roninfrosty Mar 30, 2008 19:52:58	Unfortunately, I know what his plans are (mainly because I'm familiar with an old campaign of his, which I didn't play in, but have heard lots about). He's taking us the ruins of a city called Glory, which was destroyed by his pet BBEG. He's already introduced us to two former player characters as NPCs, so I'm fairly certain that, rather than be creative, he's going to work this old BBEG back into the storyline. But I suppose I can relax a bit...I'm just kind of a high strung person, I suppose, and all this happening at once is really cramping my style. Any other ideas?
#4 drmorganes Mar 30, 2008 21:50:42	All this after only one session? Chill for a while and enjoy your Warblade. You may have to put serious roleplaying on the back burner for this one, but as long as the loot more or less evens out and everyone is having fun, it's all good. In fact, take a look at just how good this is: You're starting your game at 2 a.m. It's not unusual for game to end at 2 a.m., but to start one? You have 6 players. Who are willing to start a game at 2 a.m. TDttDI seems to have a sense of humor. That could be fun. Very fun! You know most of the group already. Two of them are long-time friends. You have a few new players. Overall, I think you're coming off as a bit too "roleplaying games are serious business". Yes, there are things that will grate on a seasoned roleplayer's nevers (massive xp awards, overdoing treasure, oddball magic items, a DM who seems to have only played computer-based RPGs, etc., etc.), but it's in everyone's best interest if you overlook them for now and just have some fun. That is, after all, why you wanted to do this right? To have fun with your friends? This has the makings of a fun dungeon crawl. Lighten up and play along. :D Take the time to show a little roleplaying panache to help the newbies get comfortable with the concept of being "in character" (not everyone takes to that idea like a duck to water, y'know). Help everyone get to know the rules. Continue to work on your original campaign idea in your free time, and offer to run it when the current campaign winds down.
#5 the_black_hand Mar 30, 2008 22:32:19	The DM Doesn't Care I actually spoke to the DM about some concerns I had, which involved his pacing. We started at level 1, and after one session, jumped to level 3. He's also started handing out magic items like they're candy. I've got a helmet with +1 Con, the Fighter has full plate that gives +2 Str, +2 Con, one rogue has a scimitar with Flaming Burst on it, and we're only level 3. Helmets are pretty worthless in D&D since there are no called shots, but still that helmet would have to be a +1 (atleast) by the rules in order for it to give +1 con bonus. (the system isn't really even set up for this kind of thing) This helmet would worth approx 2,000 gold by the magic item rules. The Full Plate armor would be worth well 8,000 per stat on it. Has to be atleast a +1 set of armor to hold the stats 1,000. Has to be masterwork Quality 1,650. So, 18,650 gp.(wish my GM was half this generous). The Flaming Burst Scimitar. Has to be atleast +1. The Burst gives is a +2 Equivelent. So this is a +3 weapon over all. 18,000 Gold + the cost of a masterwork scimitar (about 120 gold) So your DM gave out nearly 40k worth of gear to a party of 3rd level characters. I think he playing video games way too much.
#6 roninfrosty Mar 30, 2008 23:16:52	All this after only one session? Chill for a while and enjoy your Warblade. You may have to put serious roleplaying on the back burner for this one, but as long as the loot more or less evens out and everyone is having fun, it's all good. In fact, take a look at just how good this is: You're starting your game at 2 a.m. It's not unusual for game to end at 2 a.m., but to start one? You have 6 players. Who are willing to start a game at 2 a.m. TDttDI seems to have a sense of humor. That could be fun. Very fun! You know most of the group already. Two of them are long-time friends. You have a few new players. Overall, I think you're coming off as a bit too "roleplaying games are serious business". Yes, there are things that will grate on a seasoned roleplayer's nevers (massive xp awards, overdoing treasure, oddball magic items, a DM who seems to have only played computer-based RPGs, etc., etc.), but it's in everyone's best interest if you overlook them for now and just have some fun. That is, after all, why you wanted to do this right? To have fun with your friends? This has the makings of a fun dungeon crawl. Lighten up and play along. :D Take the time to show a little roleplaying panache to help the newbies get comfortable with the concept of being "in character" (not everyone takes to that idea like a duck to water, y'know). Help everyone get to know the rules. Continue to work on your original campaign idea in your free time, and offer to run it when the current campaign winds down. I see what you're saying, and while I appreciate it, optimism isn't my thing. I'm more of a realist :P But all jokes aside (and it's been two sessions, by the by), while I do try to appreciate the fact that all these people are going way out of their way to make this game, and I know the game can't make me happy to the exclusion of all others, I would think at the very least, the DM ought to be concerned that at least one of his players isn't enjoying the game. Helmets are pretty worthless in D&D since there are no called shots, but still that helmet would have to be a +1 (atleast) by the rules in order for it to give +1 con bonus. (the system isn't really even set up for this kind of thing) This helmet would worth approx 2,000 gold by the magic item rules. The Full Plate armor would be worth well 8,000 per stat on it. Has to be atleast a +1 set of armor to hold the stats 1,000. Has to be masterwork Quality 1,650. So, 18,650 gp.(wish my GM was half this generous). The Flaming Burst Scimitar. Has to be atleast +1. The Burst gives is a +2 Equivelent. So this is a +3 weapon over all. 18,000 Gold + the cost of a masterwork scimitar (about 120 gold) So your DM gave out nearly 40k worth of gear to a party of 3rd level characters. I think he playing video games way too much. I already know the problem, lol, I need a solution! :D
#7 kouk Mar 31, 2008 1:01:42	Well, such a Monty Hall (Haul) campaign is not necessarily a problem as long as the encounters are still challenging. Think of it as a high-magic campaign world. Most campaigns have some kind of shtick to them, something that sets them apart from "standard" D&D. I can understand if you may not like having items that seem to be the power base of your character, but try to deal with it. With such a divergent schedule, and that you guys seem to be having a hard time with getting the game to run (new player not withstanding) it is quite likely the group is perfectly OK with just a sit-down and hack-and-slash game. Serious Roleplaying can take a lot of effort and thought, and they may just want to blow off some steam by bashing heads and goofing around with friends before they have to go to sleep. When I am half-asleep, I can barely RP anything. It's even a wonder if I remember to use all my class abilities when the correct opportunities present themselves, let alone do modifier math right. If you very much would like to DM, then take turns. One week on, one week off.
#8 roninfrosty Mar 31, 2008 3:18:13	It's not so much that I WANT to DM, I was just ready. It annoyed me that he didn't just step up to begin with, and kept "hinting" at it. The general consensus is to relax and try to enjoy it. I'll certainly try, and I suppose I'll post an update next week. Till then, thanks much for the feedback!