HOw WOULD YOU GUYS HANDLE THIS - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

HOw WOULD YOU GUYS HANDLE THIS

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
anzeil
Jan 29, 2009 17:16:23 Hey guys, I've been playing for about 10 yrs with pretty much the same group, we have always had a pretty good chemistry, until lately. We only play once a month (due to one player is a truck driver). but here is the problem, the two younger guys (25-28) have gotten so disruptive, I mean none stop talking about you-tube crap or anything but the game, last time we played, we started at 7:00 p.m. and played until 4:00 a.m. we were on wagons and rode 4 hrs without delay or encounters sleep for 4hrs and were awoke by the people we stole the wagons from last session. then started the fight and had to end in the middle because one of the younger guys had to work the next day. Now i dont know about anyone else but in 10 yrs we've never stopped in the middle of a fight NEVER. this two guys r good gamers 2, Me and the DM have talked about the issue and he feels the same way, but we dont know how to bring this to a end without, blowing up and p*********ing someone off, we only have 5 players +DM, im just to the point where i dont want to play anymore.
#2
hyperionrising
Jan 29, 2009 17:31:32 Not with capslock, my friend. Not with capslock.
#3
Man_in_the_Funny_Hat
Jan 29, 2009 17:35:47
Hey guys, I've been playing for about 10 yrs with pretty much the same group, we have always had a pretty good chemistry, until lately. We only play once a month (due to one player is a truck driver). but here is the problem, the two younger guys (25-28) have gotten so disruptive, I mean none stop talking about you-tube crap or anything but the game, last time we played, we started at 7:00 p.m. and played until 4:00 a.m. we were on wagons and rode 4 hrs without delay or encounters sleep for 4hrs and were awoke by the people we stole the wagons from last session. then started the fight and had to end in the middle because one of the younger guys had to work the next day. Now i dont know about anyone else but in 10 yrs we've never stopped in the middle of a fight NEVER. this two guys r good gamers 2, Me and the DM have talked about the issue and he feels the same way, but we dont know how to bring this to a end without, blowing up and p*********ing someone off, we only have 5 players +DM, im just to the point where i dont want to play anymore.

Then don't play. Bad D&D is usually worse than no D&D. Who wants to go to the trouble of spending several hours at someones house playing a game you KNOW you will not enjoy? Just showing up with that attitude in mind means you shouldn't be showing up at all.

As far as WHY these two have become disruptive conversationalists my guess would be BECAUSE you only meet once a month. D&D is a social activity where friends get together. If the last time you got together was a month ago then naturally you'll want to catch up on a months worth of conversation about news, sports, weather, TV shows, movies, family, and stuff you saw on youtube. It was a phenomenon that I became quite familiar with as a DM for a group of friends whose gaming schedule occasionally was interrupted for 3 or 4 weeks due to everyone having a life beyond D&D. When we got back together if it had been more than 2 weeks since the last game session then I EXPECTED to lose half the game time to basic socializing with friends rather than playing.

Once again, COMMUNICATION is your answer. Talk to the disruptive players and explain that because you meet only once a month and thus have limited time for actual gaming it would be appreciated if they could save the bulk of their conversations for OUTSIDE the game itself. Arrive early and jabber all they want or stay late after the session is wrapped and jawbone - but when the game is ready to start put just a little more effort into trying to PLAY D&D. If that doesn't produce results then it's time to communicate to the DM and have the DM exert some authority to prevent the game being delayed, sidetracked, disrupted.
#4
Crimson_Concerto
Jan 29, 2009 17:36:55 If you've gotten to the point that you don't want to play anymore, then don't.
As I've heard so many times around here, a game that is no longer fun is also no longer a game, it's a chore.
#5
perseus_stoned
Jan 29, 2009 18:17:57
Not with capslock, my friend. Not with capslock.

And with LESS SHOUTING!!

All jabs aside, it just seems like this guy needed to go to work, but still stayed until 4am to troop it out (I assume he had work around 7-10am). He seems like a good guy to play with and, it sucks it had to happen during combat, but he was just doing right by his job. Without it, you might be seeing way more of him than you want to. "Hey guys, can I crash on your couch for a month or two? I got fired from my job and can't make rent."

I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, just having to stop during combat? That's easy to remedy, since you only meet once a month, just find a time when no one has work the next day and clarify that you stay up until X a.m. Otherwise just keep the game going, but side conversations are standard and usually aren't too disruptive. Just stay communicative.
#6
etarnon
Jan 29, 2009 23:48:27 yeah the simple solution is for you to stop coming to the game, or DM yourself, since yo seem to actually enjoy the game more than the other guys.

second solution is to dissolve the group and find players that can play once a week or once every two weeks.

A lot of games that go once a month will not last because it's too long between to keep any kind of story line.

Good luck.
#7
legdiwena
Jan 30, 2009 12:04:45 He should let the DM know when he has to leave so he can be at work. Don't start the fight if there isn't time to complete it.
#8
Zherog
Jan 30, 2009 12:52:06
He should let the DM know when he has to leave so he can be at work. Don't start the fight if there isn't time to complete it.

Agree.

But, it's too late for that now. So here's some advice on how to handle it now that it's reached this point.

You're all friends. (Or, at least, I assume you are.) You should be able to talk about this without getting anybody angry. Bring it up - preferably face-to-face rather than e-mail, phone, IM, etc. Explain the issue, and explain why it bothers you. Ask if, maybe, it would be possible to keep the non-game chatter isolated to the first hour or whatever of your get-togethers. That is, if you plan to start at 7pm, spend that first hour gabbing, and don't start the game until 8pm.

In addition, maybe the rest of you need to have a separate campaign that involves everybody except the guy who's away most of the month. Somebody else - you? - DM and run things. Having a chance to get together with the crew more than once a month should help reduce the amount of stuff people "need" to talk about when your entire group gets together.

Most importantly, though - talk about it. Don't accuse, don't yell, don't blame. Just talk.
#9
ethelion
Feb 01, 2009 3:12:56 We all pile in about 6pm. We eat dinner (A different person makes/brings each week) and social chat/be disruptive, then when we're all done with that, we get down to business. Once DND starts, it's DND time with occasionally interjection.

We're all 20-24 and we have a lot to talk about it, but otherwise we know if we talk too much, we'll lose DND time.
#10
eldesteagle
Feb 09, 2009 13:10:04 i agree about the whole communication thing. by the sounds of the situation you guys just don't get eneugh time to just play dnd/catch up. my group we play at my school during lunch so there is usually just a small pause during are playing. so yea just try to communicate to the guys being disruptive or maybe just try to find some time to hang out with them when you guys aren't playing dnd. because a month apart is just to long.
#11
ciaran
Feb 09, 2009 18:40:20 We joke and have a good time while the DM is drawing a map or has his nose in a book and after an intense combat, but I would only have so much patience for that much nonsense. So I'm chiming in that you should speak to them next time. Some others in your group might agree with you. And ten years is worth at least that much.
#12
1_ton_ghost
Feb 10, 2009 13:30:39 I pretty much concur w/ the others for the most part. This is one of those weird situations when MORE GAMING = BETTER GAMING overall. 1/month isn't really enough to subsist on, but I'm insistant on 1/week like clockwork. 1/month can whet your whistle, but you kinda' starve if that isn't too cliche'.

Play more, and the formality of time isn't as serious, and Heckle & Jeckyll can work out their chatty ways differently. This can simply be addressed easilly and w/ diplomacy, "Guys, I know you're psyched about _____, but you're stepping on everyone's toes w/ the tabletalk. Game time = everyone's time and we only get 1/month, you know? Don't **** on the whole team's time cuz' you can't talk on a phone, text, IM, e-mail each other on your own time plz." This should be sufficient. Stress the "please" as you're friends.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 anzeil Jan 29, 2009 17:16:23	Hey guys, I've been playing for about 10 yrs with pretty much the same group, we have always had a pretty good chemistry, until lately. We only play once a month (due to one player is a truck driver). but here is the problem, the two younger guys (25-28) have gotten so disruptive, I mean none stop talking about you-tube crap or anything but the game, last time we played, we started at 7:00 p.m. and played until 4:00 a.m. we were on wagons and rode 4 hrs without delay or encounters sleep for 4hrs and were awoke by the people we stole the wagons from last session. then started the fight and had to end in the middle because one of the younger guys had to work the next day. Now i dont know about anyone else but in 10 yrs we've never stopped in the middle of a fight NEVER. this two guys r good gamers 2, Me and the DM have talked about the issue and he feels the same way, but we dont know how to bring this to a end without, blowing up and p*********ing someone off, we only have 5 players +DM, im just to the point where i dont want to play anymore.
#2 hyperionrising Jan 29, 2009 17:31:32	Not with capslock, my friend. Not with capslock.
#3 Man_in_the_Funny_Hat Jan 29, 2009 17:35:47	Hey guys, I've been playing for about 10 yrs with pretty much the same group, we have always had a pretty good chemistry, until lately. We only play once a month (due to one player is a truck driver). but here is the problem, the two younger guys (25-28) have gotten so disruptive, I mean none stop talking about you-tube crap or anything but the game, last time we played, we started at 7:00 p.m. and played until 4:00 a.m. we were on wagons and rode 4 hrs without delay or encounters sleep for 4hrs and were awoke by the people we stole the wagons from last session. then started the fight and had to end in the middle because one of the younger guys had to work the next day. Now i dont know about anyone else but in 10 yrs we've never stopped in the middle of a fight NEVER. this two guys r good gamers 2, Me and the DM have talked about the issue and he feels the same way, but we dont know how to bring this to a end without, blowing up and p*********ing someone off, we only have 5 players +DM, im just to the point where i dont want to play anymore. Then don't play. Bad D&D is usually worse than no D&D. Who wants to go to the trouble of spending several hours at someones house playing a game you KNOW you will not enjoy? Just showing up with that attitude in mind means you shouldn't be showing up at all. As far as WHY these two have become disruptive conversationalists my guess would be BECAUSE you only meet once a month. D&D is a social activity where friends get together. If the last time you got together was a month ago then naturally you'll want to catch up on a months worth of conversation about news, sports, weather, TV shows, movies, family, and stuff you saw on youtube. It was a phenomenon that I became quite familiar with as a DM for a group of friends whose gaming schedule occasionally was interrupted for 3 or 4 weeks due to everyone having a life beyond D&D. When we got back together if it had been more than 2 weeks since the last game session then I EXPECTED to lose half the game time to basic socializing with friends rather than playing. Once again, COMMUNICATION is your answer. Talk to the disruptive players and explain that because you meet only once a month and thus have limited time for actual gaming it would be appreciated if they could save the bulk of their conversations for OUTSIDE the game itself. Arrive early and jabber all they want or stay late after the session is wrapped and jawbone - but when the game is ready to start put just a little more effort into trying to PLAY D&D. If that doesn't produce results then it's time to communicate to the DM and have the DM exert some authority to prevent the game being delayed, sidetracked, disrupted.
#4 Crimson_Concerto Jan 29, 2009 17:36:55	If you've gotten to the point that you don't want to play anymore, then don't. As I've heard so many times around here, a game that is no longer fun is also no longer a game, it's a chore.
#5 perseus_stoned Jan 29, 2009 18:17:57	Not with capslock, my friend. Not with capslock. And with LESS SHOUTING!! All jabs aside, it just seems like this guy needed to go to work, but still stayed until 4am to troop it out (I assume he had work around 7-10am). He seems like a good guy to play with and, it sucks it had to happen during combat, but he was just doing right by his job. Without it, you might be seeing way more of him than you want to. "Hey guys, can I crash on your couch for a month or two? I got fired from my job and can't make rent." I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, just having to stop during combat? That's easy to remedy, since you only meet once a month, just find a time when no one has work the next day and clarify that you stay up until X a.m. Otherwise just keep the game going, but side conversations are standard and usually aren't too disruptive. Just stay communicative.
#6 etarnon Jan 29, 2009 23:48:27	yeah the simple solution is for you to stop coming to the game, or DM yourself, since yo seem to actually enjoy the game more than the other guys. second solution is to dissolve the group and find players that can play once a week or once every two weeks. A lot of games that go once a month will not last because it's too long between to keep any kind of story line. Good luck.
#7 legdiwena Jan 30, 2009 12:04:45	He should let the DM know when he has to leave so he can be at work. Don't start the fight if there isn't time to complete it.
#8 Zherog Jan 30, 2009 12:52:06	He should let the DM know when he has to leave so he can be at work. Don't start the fight if there isn't time to complete it. Agree. But, it's too late for that now. So here's some advice on how to handle it now that it's reached this point. You're all friends. (Or, at least, I assume you are.) You should be able to talk about this without getting anybody angry. Bring it up - preferably face-to-face rather than e-mail, phone, IM, etc. Explain the issue, and explain why it bothers you. Ask if, maybe, it would be possible to keep the non-game chatter isolated to the first hour or whatever of your get-togethers. That is, if you plan to start at 7pm, spend that first hour gabbing, and don't start the game until 8pm. In addition, maybe the rest of you need to have a separate campaign that involves everybody except the guy who's away most of the month. Somebody else - you? - DM and run things. Having a chance to get together with the crew more than once a month should help reduce the amount of stuff people "need" to talk about when your entire group gets together. Most importantly, though - talk about it. Don't accuse, don't yell, don't blame. Just talk.
#9 ethelion Feb 01, 2009 3:12:56	We all pile in about 6pm. We eat dinner (A different person makes/brings each week) and social chat/be disruptive, then when we're all done with that, we get down to business. Once DND starts, it's DND time with occasionally interjection. We're all 20-24 and we have a lot to talk about it, but otherwise we know if we talk too much, we'll lose DND time.
#10 eldesteagle Feb 09, 2009 13:10:04	i agree about the whole communication thing. by the sounds of the situation you guys just don't get eneugh time to just play dnd/catch up. my group we play at my school during lunch so there is usually just a small pause during are playing. so yea just try to communicate to the guys being disruptive or maybe just try to find some time to hang out with them when you guys aren't playing dnd. because a month apart is just to long.
#11 ciaran Feb 09, 2009 18:40:20	We joke and have a good time while the DM is drawing a map or has his nose in a book and after an intense combat, but I would only have so much patience for that much nonsense. So I'm chiming in that you should speak to them next time. Some others in your group might agree with you. And ten years is worth at least that much.
#12 1_ton_ghost Feb 10, 2009 13:30:39	I pretty much concur w/ the others for the most part. This is one of those weird situations when MORE GAMING = BETTER GAMING overall. 1/month isn't really enough to subsist on, but I'm insistant on 1/week like clockwork. 1/month can whet your whistle, but you kinda' starve if that isn't too cliche'. Play more, and the formality of time isn't as serious, and Heckle & Jeckyll can work out their chatty ways differently. This can simply be addressed easilly and w/ diplomacy, "Guys, I know you're psyched about _____, but you're stepping on everyone's toes w/ the tabletalk. Game time = everyone's time and we only get 1/month, you know? Don't **** on the whole team's time cuz' you can't talk on a phone, text, IM, e-mail each other on your own time plz." This should be sufficient. Stress the "please" as you're friends.