| Post/Author/DateTime | Post |
|---|---|
| #1beowulfthehunterSep 10, 2011 1:09:08 | So perhaps I am venting, but bear with me. Once again our GM canceled on us. This is like the 4th time in the past two months. Other times have been due to family reasons, illness, etc, all the times have been at the last second. This time it is because he said he is burnt out on 4th ed. I did not even know about this till I showed up because no one called me and a snide comment was made that I do not accept texts, if you need me call me. I can understand, but here is my issue. We play most of our games at his house and have even moved our LFR game there so he could play (our intention was to keep it at the LGS to get a larger community of gamers). Most of us like 4E, and frankly I do not want to learn a new system or buy new books. I am looking for a way to tactfully ask my group, what they want to do and to and or tell the GM that we are going to move to a new place to play if he does not want to stay with the system. Am I a jerk for doing so? Or should I just suck it up and find a new group. Thanks |
| #2RyndarLockeSep 10, 2011 2:43:53 | So perhaps I am venting, but bear with me. Once again our GM canceled on us. This is like the 4th time in the past two months. Other times have been due to family reasons, illness, etc, all the times have been at the last second. This time it is because he said he is burnt out on 4th ed. I did not even know about this till I showed up because no one called me and a snide comment was made that I do not accept texts, if you need me call me. I can understand, but here is my issue. We play most of our games at his house and have even moved our LFR game there so he could play (our intention was to keep it at the LGS to get a larger community of gamers). Well first you need to start answering/reading texts. If that's how the GM gets the word out. if you don't have a cell phone then I understand. Maybe call him and check in. Second make plans next time you're all together. "Hey guys I'm going to start a game for when "normal GM" can't play. It'll be LFR at the FLGS. So if he cancels just make plans to meet there instead." |
| #3jetshieldSep 10, 2011 8:15:11 | Well first you need to start answering/reading texts. Ignore this part. The rest isn't bad. DM burnout is a fairly common thing. You could try offering to DM for a while, and see if his enthusiasm returns. If it doesn't, nothing is stopping you from meeting elsewhere. |
| #4KruskSep 10, 2011 8:25:09 | If you don't have a text plan, them texting you is rude on their part. Especially after you have explained this more than once. I would just mention to the group "Hey I am going to start a game on (day). You guys are welcome to play". If they ask about the other game say "It looks like it has fizzled out, and won't be happening again, so I am going to start a new one". I'd even invite the previous DM to play. I would move back to the LGS instead of his house though, for obvious reasons. |
| #5sirkaikillahSep 10, 2011 13:19:26 | If you don't text then I think the Gm should call you to let you know about cancellation. A reluctant Dm just sucks. I prefer a last minute cancellation to playing with a grumpy, tired, reluctant Dm. There are no polite mutinies. So starting a new game with your current group without the current Dm, is going to hurt some feelings. You may split the group. You may find that you are alone in wanting to leave the current Dm. But if you do nothing, nothing will happen. So if your upset and want to start a new group, get 'er done and take the reins of Dm and run a game you want. Don't forget to call your players when you plan to cancel. |
| #6BRJNSep 10, 2011 20:28:03 | I was recently part of a group whose DM went off to summer college classes. You should talk one-on-one with the rest of your group. Find out where their heads are at. You should talk one-on-one with your DM. Find out if he still wants to DM. Does he want to be a player? Does he think he might want to DM again after a while of not-DMing? Would your DM mind if you took his campaign notes and made a few adventures for you to DM the group? (Will he play your character or something similar, or something different? Another issue to consider/discuss.) If your FLGS will host, run your games there. You can't just waltz in to somebody else's house, after all. And you don't want the current DM sabotaging the group by leaving to run errands on short notice. I don't text either. I DO know how people used to get along without smart phones, back in ye olden days, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, before you young whippersnappers were even born, and such things hadn't been invented yet. Make sure you keep a phone line open so people can get ahold of you (no dial-up Internet during the afternoon). |
| #7navar100Sep 10, 2011 21:48:57 | Cynical another point of view. Are you sure the DM is really burned out or is this his and/or the group's way of trying to get you to quit rather than kicking you out? Say, they're really playing on another day or start playing an hour after you leave when they didn't even tell you there was no game until you showed up. There really wasn't any family problems for the DM. I speak from unfortunate personal experience of around 13 years ago. People can be that cruel. |
| #8rambaldiSep 12, 2011 6:43:36 | If you don't have a text plan, them texting you is rude on their part. Especially after you have explained this more than once. For a lot of the rest of the world (I believe) the opposite is true. As an example it costs me little to nothing to send a text (20c first the first 50, nothing after that) otherwise it is 80c+ a minute depending on time. Nothing to receive either. With out a confirmation from the person in question we can't be sure that this is/isn't the case. I could see it as being a preference, ensuring that you get the message. If you talk to someone then you should know that they got the message (not always the case as only 2/6 players turned up to my game this Saturday, the rest were uncontactable. We ended up starting very late, people had to leave, it was a huge mess). My suggestion would be to offer to DM yourself (or perhaps one of the other players might want to) it usually doesn't need to be for long for them to get reinvigorated, I find a couple weeks out of that chair and I am chomping at the bit to go again. As you are playing LFR it should be easier as you don't have to write anything. As to location, it is muuuch muuuch easier to play at your residence. You can prepare maps etc. beforehand. You can spend your commute time prepping instead. No need to worry about personal transport let alone gaming supplies. Some people just prefer things in this way. If you discuss the burn out with him and as a result he has a rest for a while perhaps that will also open him up to the idea of the game being run elsewhere. |
| #9sirkaikillahSep 12, 2011 10:42:27 | If you don't have a text plan, them texting you is rude on their part. Especially after you have explained this more than once. Yaah my friends have called me out on that more than once. I just got called out for not having a phone I can check e-mail, go figure. But I still think its rude to expect someone to read a text if they told you they don't text. I'm old school. |
| #10RyndarLockeSep 12, 2011 14:33:10 | If you don't have a text plan, them texting you is rude on their part. Especially after you have explained this more than once. Unless you can't afford a cell phone. There is no excuse for not checkinga text. Canceling a DnD game is the perfect reason to text instead of call. Call me when you need to make plans. Text me when something happens and there is no need for discussion. "Gotta work tonight no DnD." = Text "Where you wanna eat tonight?" = Text or Call me.. "What happened after I left?" = Call me. |
| #11Darkwolf_BloodsbaneSep 12, 2011 21:10:02 | If you don't have a text plan, them texting you is rude on their part. Especially after you have explained this more than once. Some cell phones do not receive texts at all. My father's cell did not receive texts until his most recent upgrade, and a friend of mine recently received a phone from work that does not receive texts. So it's a little rude to assume that he's just not reading them. He might just be receiving them. For me, it costs me the same either way, and I prefer to receive phone calls unless it's a mass text. My friends know this and respect this. It's not outlandish for OP to ask for the same consideration. |
| #12yronimoswSep 12, 2011 21:31:47 | I hate speaking on the phone, I prefer communicating by text, forum, e-mail, and other written communication. Or, better yet, speaking in person. But, it doesn't take so much trouble for me to make a quick call that I couldn't do that for the occasional person who cannot or prefers not to get texts. For example, both my parents have bad eyesight and have an extremely difficult time using their cell phones to text - it would be absurd of me to insist that they only communicate with me by text. And, I did not own a cell phone until recently, and only then because my employer insisted on it as condition of a good promotion... I dislike being tied to a cell phone altogether, and I couldn't blame anyone for not wanting to own one or for not getting a text or internet plan for it if they do own one. Unless the DM made a house rule, and everyone agreed on it, that the only way that cancellations would be communicated would be by text, then I agree: it's rude to insist on that form of communication, or no communication at all. If such a house rule / agreement were made ahead of time and the OP said "I'll take my chances", then he/she got whatever is deserved, though. I'm surprised the DM, if he absolutely couldn't communicate any other way, didn't include in the text "pls let _____ know [about the cancellation]", though - it really seems like a sort of "take that", passive-aggressive sort of way for the DM to express his displeasure at the OP's inability/unwillingness to communicate by text. |
| #13sirkaikillahSep 12, 2011 22:58:15 | .., Nobody has to text. I respect my friends who do not text, simply because they do not text. I careless whether you have a phone that can or cannot text. If you do not text and you have told people you do not text, then those people should not expect you to read or respond to texts. Use your cell phone and make a phone call to communicate to those you know do not text. Some people do not text, for any number of reasons, and in no way is anybody obligated to start because you think it is more convenient. |
| #14pluisjenSep 13, 2011 4:02:01 | Or, just send an email. But that's all sidetopic. I agree with what has been said before; if the DM is burned out on 4e then there´s no need for a mutiny. I mean; there's no DM to mutineer against, right? You'll just need to find someone else to DM the game. Or you have to play a different system. |
| #15KruskSep 13, 2011 8:14:38 | Refusal to text and lack of a plan are different thing. Not everyone has a text plan, and if you don't it gets quite expensive to recieve them. Many times people like this ask the carrier to block all incoming texts so that you aren't charged. If you explain this to a person, and they still text as the only way to communicate with you, they are being dense. Saying "I don't read texts I get" is silly and annoying. If you open your phone and see an obvious sign that someone attempted to communicate, but it was VIA text, and so you don't open, all the blame is on you. Especially because it will tell you who sent the text without opening it. You can then call this person if you really insist. |
| #16beowulfthehunterSep 13, 2011 10:51:35 | I guess something was posted on the Facebook site, but to be honest I did not check it as I was busy at the hospital all day. I find it funny that the text issue was brought up as the main point of two pages. I do not text because: A under my plan texts cost me extra and my phone is not text friendly..10 digit key pad. Secondly I find it impersonal, if you cannot be bothered to call me then I have no need for you anyway. |
| #17HerrozerroSep 20, 2011 10:20:53 |
While I uynderstand the lack of plan and bad txting phone (though that only matters in sending not reading). I think the above is terribly selfish. Im sure the "snide" remark you received is well deserved, or at least not unwarrented. If everyone else communicates in one fashion and you do not participate it is on you to keep up. You should be calling ahead to see if everything is alright if you are not participating in the shared method of communication. Speaking anecdotally, my group uses a forum, Facebook and txting to do most of our communication. ANd I have one player who maybe checks the forum every once in a while, but other then that doesnt txt or facebook. I do try to call him when things arise but sometimes I cant get a hold of him. It's not my fault that he doesnt use the preferred methods of communication. |
| #18Macabre13Oct 01, 2011 3:54:02 |
receiving a text costs like a dime. if he only has a text plan and limited minutes it's more expensive for him to call you than for you to receive a single text. you don't even need to reply to it. if you want to live in 1992 that's really your problem, not the DMs. if you're going to get mad over the information in the text, then yes, you do have need for him. perhaps the problem isn't them, but that you're an idiot about how you resist change? also 10 digit keypad texting is quite simple if you have any patience whatsoever, or just t9 and the capacity to spell. |
| #19KruskOct 01, 2011 12:54:16 | You needed to dig up a two week old thread, just to berate a guy for not having a texting plan? If I provide a method for you to communicate with me that is free, and you choose to use one that costs me money after I have explained this to you, be prepared for me to send you a bill or stop communicating with you. FWIW my plan cost me .50 every text sent and recieved before I upgraded last year. If, as you say, the organizer of the group has limited minutes and a text plan that does change things, but that also isn't explained in the situation. It is really just you coming up with "but yeah what if he doesn't have a phone at all, and has to mail you a letter by carrier pidgeon. thats like 11$ for him, or he could text you for .10". Examples. We can play what if all day long, but I would prefer we stick to discussing the situation as provided. As provided we have not been told the organizer has no voice plan, and can use it freely as would be expected and typical. I'm not saying I can see any valid reasons not to have a text plan (I bought one), but I can see respecting someone's choice not to. |
| #20Macabre13Oct 01, 2011 15:54:55 | i didn't necro it, it was at the top of the page when i posted. someone must have bumped and deleted their post or something, and i wasn't paying attention to the dates. fifty cents to receive a single important text should not be a problem for a grown ass man |
| #21yronimoswOct 02, 2011 9:57:26 | Re-reading the original post, really, the texting thing, no matter where you stand on it, is only a small symptom of a bigger problem. The bigger problem is that the original poster (OP) and the DM have chosen to be a poor match for each other, and it sounds like the DM has other issues, probably legitimate ones, that prevent him from running the game two days out of every month (if the group meets weekly, that would be half the sessions in the month that the DM cancels.) Meanwhile, the original poster feels like he's been unfairly snubbed and insulted (and maybe he has), and resents the situation so much, he's wanting to get back at the DM as "politely" as possible. From where I'm standing, the DM sounds like Real Life is intruding on the game too much for him to run the game effectively, and real-life tragedies such as family emergencies are (understandably) effecting his diplomacy quite a bit. I think the DM needs a bit of slack, a break, and maybe a friend right now. If the OP were to have talked to the DM nicely, perhaps the DM would have been happy to let the OP take over the game for him, without the need for "politely starting a mutiny". This is an old thread, though, and it's probably way too late for that now. |
| #22KruskOct 03, 2011 9:02:59 | fifty cents to receive a single important text should not be a problem for a grown ass man Times are tight, some people are on budgets. I know I pick up pennies I find in the street, and throw them in a change jar. I also keep a strict budget and record everything spent over .25$, and subtract it from my weekly budget. Once I hit that limit I cannot spend more, regardless of what on. Some people cut back wherever they can, and every bit helps. |
| #231red13Oct 04, 2011 20:15:20 | You can probably spend a lot of time and frustration on why this guy did this or the other guy did this different thing. Really just being up front and tell him "Lately you seem to have more on your plate and you haven't been able to make the regular game sessions. Perhaps if someone else dmed that would take that extra time for preperation off your shoulders." Or just simply that he hasn't been able to make it consistently for the last while .... Bob will dm for a bit until you have more free time |
| #24RyndarLockeOct 21, 2011 6:34:09 | i didn't necro it, it was at the top of the page when i posted. someone must have bumped and deleted their post or something, and i wasn't paying attention to the dates. Should not be a problem for a 12 year old girl either. |