Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 hariman Mar 26, 2008 21:34:06	This thread is an offshoot of the Best Lines Ever thread. It is home to short and comical descriptions of different classes, based solely on their names. Here are the originals, also located in my sig: Barbarian: Hulk Smash!!! OR Care for a spot of tea? Bard: Kill, Kill, Kill the stupid Kobolds. Cleric: I'm more than just a walking bandaid. Druid: NOOOOOOO!!! NOT A POLYMORPH NERF!!!!!!! Fighter: 10 years of training to stand in front of a spellcaster. OY! Monk: 10 years of training and still the fighter does more damage with a club. Great. Paladin: Die Evildoer!! Ranger: I'm a very hateful person. Rogue: For the last time, I didn't take your wallet!! Sorcerer: Hey wizard, do you need some help with those spellbooks? Wizard: NO!!!! Hey fighter, could you help me carry my spellbooks? Psion: For the last time, I manifest powers. I DO NOT cast spells. Psychic warrior: I can kick the fighter's ass. Soulknife: Light goes on, Light goes off. Light goes on, Light goes off. Wilder: WTF am I supposed to be? Spellthief: Thanks for the power, friends. Ninja: Now you see me. . . Scout: No, I will not hold still. Swashbuckler: I shall slay you with my keen footwork and razor intellect. Samurai: Screw this, I'm gonna take ranger levels. Hexblade: I might be a paladin wannabe, but at least I've got style. Spirit Shaman: Yes Casper, I appreciate the healing spell. Wu Jen: Fire fire fire fire.... Shugenja: There are definately 2,402 sources of earth in this cave. Definitely. Warmage: Fear my perfection in the art of blasting. Forgive my suckness in almost everything else. Warlock: Your out of spells? Too bad! Beguiler: Would I lie to you? Dragon Shaman: I'll join up with you guys if you ditch the paladin. Knight: At least I'm not a paladin. Duskblade: I'M NOT BROKEN!! At least, not completely. Commoner: Do I suck, or what? OR at least I have spot and listen as class skills. And here's my second set, originally posted in the Best Lines Ever thread. Frenzied Berserker: Waaaah, I broke the wizard! Drunken Master: It's all fun and games until the hangover! Dervish: If you call me a girly man ONE MORE TIME... Hunter of the dead: Do you know how many people I've had to rebury? Justicair: I AM THE LAW! or Yeah, I am just a glorified city guard. Master Thrower: Let's see, 15 knives, 8 throwing axes, 100 shuriken, 17 hammers, 13 alchemist's fires, 10 acid flasks, 5 tanglefoot bags, 9 holy waters and 2 darts. I hope I don't run out of weapons again! OR: How much damage does a gnome do? Mind Spy: I know what you're thinking and no, my butt does not itch too. OR: AUGH! I didn't need to see that thought! Cragtop Archer: He's only a mile away, I can easily hit him from here! Rage Mage: HULK CAST AND SMASH! Tattoed Monk: Dude, check out this cool tat I just got! OR: I can't show you my tattoos in public. Combat Trapsmith: Could you take two 5 foot steps to your right Mr. Orc? Fortune's Friend: I'd be luckier if my player rolled a few less ones. Mountebank: I'm perfect for a guy with split personalities. OR: Okay, so I came as the wrong alter ego, I'll buy a notebook to keep it from happening again if we can escape the King's Army! Acolyte of the Skin: Lotion, face cream, they're not enough. I still have acne! Alienist: No, I will not try to probe you in your sleep! Elemental Savant: It's only one glaring weakness! Enlightened Fist: I'll enlighten you by planting my fist upside your head! Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil: Eeek! Don't touch me! OR: Look at the pretty rainbow! Mindbender: Oh hush, you knew he was bent before I made him my thrall. Seeker of the Song: Wait, didn't I have to find the song so I could take this class? What gives? Seeker of the Misty Isle: It's not the destination, it's the journey. Yes I'm serious. Stop laughing, I'm not kidding! Wayfarer Guide: I keep telling you, we're not lost! OR: You know that Isle you're looking for? You have to travel north from the Cursed City of Damned Souls, across the Mountains of Death, through the Fields of Venom, Past the Amazon's Realm and then under the Floating Castle of Nightmares. There, you will find the entrance to your precious, precious Isle. Good luck! Abjurant Champion: Unlike the Duskblade, I AM broken. OR: I am rivaled only by the frenzied berserker. Enlightened Spirit: So now I'm a good douche instead of an evil douche. Nice! Ultimate Magus: The "Ultimate" makes me l337! OR: Just wait until I hit 8th level! Unseen Seer: I make the Arcane Trickster cry! Arcane Trickster: Actually, the unseen seer actually makes me very happy. OR: At least I'm better than the magical trickster.
#2 pigknight Mar 26, 2008 21:49:20	Marshal: I tell the fighter what to do even though I can't do it.
#3 talisman Mar 26, 2008 22:53:17	Favored Soul: Pelor loves me...stop laughing, Cleric! CW Samurai: Waah! Make the fighter stop picking on me! Binder: Sure, I have voices in my head. Shadowcaster: I'm the illusionist's little goth sister. Truenamer: Am I useless...or am I broken? or: Agglag'hoijj'ghiuyewom'obockbew'wox! Archivist: I'm not stealing the wizard's spells; Boccob gave them to me! Aristocrat: Being born to the right family is a CLASS? or: When I said my family has class...I was being literal. Warrior: I'm just here to make the fighter look good. -------------------------------------------- My take on some already-done ones: -------------------------------------------- Bard: Combat? NOOOOOO!! Paladin: My god can beat up your god. Ranger: Am I a rogue without sneak attack...or a fighter without feats? Commoner: Look out! KITTY!! (screaming)
#4 timlagor Mar 27, 2008 5:54:42	Artificer: "Give me a minute and a pile of gold and I'll do your job better than you can." Artificer: "Yes it may cost 500,000 gp to annihilate that Great Wyrm but I'm sure its Hoarde will be cover the cost and give us more left over than hunting bandi -never mind I'll go kill it on my own." Sublime Chord: "Dance my pretties! Dance!" Sacred Exorcist: I can turn undead! Church Inquisitor: You may have expected the Pholtan Inquisition but we'll get the truth out of you anyway. Healer: At least I'm not an Adept.
#5 Omnirahk_half-Rahkshi Mar 27, 2008 9:06:05	I've heard of two that are really good, although technically not one-liners: Paladin: "You could never defeat in a fair fight." Hexblade: "Well that's no incentive for me to fight fair, is it?" Paladin: *stutters in shock* "You . . . you just stabbed that man in the back!" Hexblade: "Only as hard as I could." Seriously, the hexblade is a great class as long as you remember to fight like a rogue. Or like a pirate. Speaking of which . . . Hexblade pirate: "I always could curse like a sailor." Sorry for the bad pun.
#6 robbypants Mar 27, 2008 9:08:10	Radiant Servant of Pelor: "I'm everything a good cleric wants to be", or "Gain everything, lose nothing". Planar Shepherd: "What's two-and-a-half times better than a wizard with Maximized Time Stop? Me!" Monk: "I look good on paper!"
#7 timlagor Mar 27, 2008 12:33:51	Fatespinner: It doesn't happen that way.
#8 EscherEnigma Mar 27, 2008 13:57:16	Mystic Theurge: I have more spells that you have hit points! (Stolen shamelessly from Order of the Stick) Blood Magus: Don't make me cut myself! Master Specialist: So why would I be a normal specialist again? Eldritch Knight: I wish I had class abilities... Spellsword: I wish I had more caster progression... Abjurant Champion: Why are you guys looking at me like that? Warhshaper: Immune to crits? Bonus Str and Con?! Fast healing and reach!?! Weretouched Master: I'm (mostly) fine as long as I don't take warshaper too...
#9 zypherx Mar 27, 2008 14:40:24	Metamind: Suck for free, for one minute a day. Cerebremancer: You took my spellbook? Darn, I guess I'll have to YOUR HEAD ASPLODE! Pyromancer: I'm a CG arsonist, srsly. Slayer: Illithid? What's that? *smile innocently* Thrallherd: My thrall is a necrocarnate. You'd best start running now. Elocator: Oh no. A pool of acid. Whatever will I do? Green Star Adept: NOM NOM NOM
#10 guardian1 Mar 29, 2008 14:44:32	Darkwood Archer: No, I'm not racist against orcs, I just really, really hate them. Shadowsun Ninja: *Who knows what evil lurks inside the hearts of humanoids? Me, that's who! Fist of Raziel: One smite, multiple kills. Divine Agent: Changing sacred doctrine when needed, one temple at a time. Arcane Archer: I'll fill you so full of arrows, you'll be a pincushion! *Paraphrased from The Shadow, weird movie but totally awesome old radio show.
#11 timlagor Mar 29, 2008 18:29:46	Crusader: "Butt-kicking for HEALTH!" Jade Phoenix Mage: "Dejas-vu!"
#12 turalisj Mar 29, 2008 18:47:07	Warblade: I'm what a fighter should have been. Crusader: I'm what a paladin should of been. Swordsage: I'm what a monk should have been, except without the unarmed strike damage. What? There's a feat for that? I can take it at level 6 you say? Well then.... Crusader: Hold on, let me cut myself... Warlock: NO! My ancestors did NOT do it with a Balor.
#13 navar100 Mar 29, 2008 18:49:35	Fighter: Thank you for underestimating me; now I kill you. Paladin: I don't threaten; I make promises, and I always keep my promises.
#14 turalisj Mar 29, 2008 18:53:00	Paladin: Except when dealing with anyone good aligned. Then I sit back like a good little paladin and let people who aren't bound by strict codes do their work.
#15 artector Mar 29, 2008 19:15:45	Wizard: "Good roleplaying does not preclude fireballing their asses." (Shamelessly stolen from oots) Monk: I have 27.36 attacks and might hit with 1 of them! (For 1d10+4 damage!) Wu Jen: I have a compass when I sit down! or I hope the day never comes when the outhouse faces the wrong way. Incarnate: I'm super lawful! In fact, lets just erase this N.... Warshaper: Look! I have play-doh arms! Bear Warrior: "Why is that bear drinking tea?" Pyrokineticist: How am I gonna set you on fire? Druid: Why is that [insert animal] drinking tea? Voce Warrior: Doe Ray Mee! Bard: I cast suggestion! (One of the players a while ago used suggestion... quite poorly, he was a bard)
#16 turalisj Mar 29, 2008 19:21:39	Enlightend Spirit: My ancestors may I had a THINg for outsiders, but I have SOMETHING for them as well..... heheheh.... Eldritch Disciple: Pelor made me do it! Eldritch Theurge: Lets see..... If you add this symbol.. You can output the damage done by an eldritch blast threefold!
#17 mr_seth Mar 29, 2008 19:22:20	My take on the PHBs... Barbarian: Hey! I'm gonna chop your face off! Cleric: Hey! I'm gonna chop your face off... FOR THE GODS! Ranger: Hey! I hate you! That makes me better at chopping your face off! Paladin: Hey! I'm gonna smite your face off! Monk: Hey! I'm gonna punch your face off! Wizard: Hey! I'm gonna Fireball your face off! Sorcerer: Hey! I'm gonna Fireball your face off... TWICE! Bard: Hey! Don't you really want to rip your own face off? Druid: Hey! I'm gonna turn into a hawk and peck your face off! Rogue: Hey, your face is missing. *Slinks off with a new face-in-a-bag to sell...*
#18 hariman Mar 29, 2008 20:42:10	Daggerspell Mage: Yes, I self cut to activate my powers. What's wrong with that? Blood Magus: Why yes, my favorite color IS red! How did you know? Blood Magus: I DIED so I could take this class, so you can just shut it! Sand Shaper: Oh SH*T! Not another Naruto fanboy! (Look up the character Gaara from Naruto if you don't get this.) Sand Shaper: Doing wonders for the sorcerer, after level 13. Not to mention the special quest to the city of the dead. And did I mention those cross class skill points? Psion Uncarnate: Nah nah! You can't touch me! Psion Uncarnate: Only one minute a day, huh? That might be a problem... Psionic Rogue: Hey, psychic warrior, I can kick the fighter's butt too! Psionic Rogue: What? It beats being a wilder! Soulknife: Wait, why is my soul blade considered mind affecting? Could I get some errata on that? Divine Mind: I worship a god to get psychic power. I can't explain it either. Lurk: I hope I don't miss... Anarchic Initiate: Yes, my prereqs were crafted solely to make Wilders cry. Dragonheart Mage: I hope he's not immune to my breath weapon! Flayerspawn Psychic: Ok, I'll admit it. I'm just a cheap knockoff of the dragonheart mage. OR: Yeah, I'm that messed up that I want to eat brains! Illumine Soul: Hey, soulknife! There's hope for you yet! OR: I hope we fight undead! Soulbow: Hey Soulknife! How would you like to be a ranged class! Disciple of the Eye: Stop giving me the evil eye dammit! Dracolexi: I only need say the word and ye shall be burned. OR: Could you please not resist this, I'd like to talk to you! Master of the Unseen Hand: No, I did not just use telekinesis to pinch your butt! OR: Can you say "20d6 falling damage"?
#19 makuya Mar 29, 2008 21:34:47	Here's one I got: Dragonfire Adept: So I'm a draconic warlock. So what?
#20 Demetri_Knighthawk Apr 01, 2008 3:17:04	Wizard (Summoner) to Alienist: Pikathulu, I choose you!
#21 killer_rabbit Apr 01, 2008 3:44:24	Invisable Blade: LOOK OVER THERE! It's a distraction. Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil: Kaleidoscopic doom??! Seriously?? WHO RIGHTS THIS STUFF!!! Dragon Shaman/Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil: ...and he cried a single tear, which turned into a jellybean all the colors of the rainbow.
#22 navar100 Apr 01, 2008 15:34:44	Crusader: Strike me down, and I'll become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. Warblade: Surprise, I'm not the stereotypical dumb warrior. Swordsage: I have news for you; I'm not left handed.
#23 turalisj Apr 01, 2008 21:56:12	Seer: I foresee lower back problems....
#24 tharivol266_dup Apr 02, 2008 16:03:11	Pale Master: Poke
#25 turalisj Apr 02, 2008 16:16:23	True Necromancer: I am NOT a necrophiliac!
#26 ysara Apr 02, 2008 20:17:45	Alienist: I always feel like somebody's watching me. Bloodhound: You can run, but you can't hide. Artificer: Gimme a sec, I'm sure I can cobble something together. Ghost faced assassin: Now you see me, now you don't. Wizard: AAAAAHHHHH! My spellbook! AAAAAHHHHH! Spymaster: Who needs weapons when you've got this much blackmail materiel?
#27 guardian1 Apr 02, 2008 23:30:47	Dragon Disciple: You know how some sorcerers claim to be descended from dragon? With me, it's true.
#28 the_black_hand Apr 02, 2008 23:44:55	Black Guard: What you didn't expect me to fight faily, did you?
#29 guardian1 Apr 03, 2008 18:39:02	Blade Dancer: Yes, I'm a wuxia rip-off. Dervish: It's BLENDER TIME!! Frenzied Berserker: You won't like me when I'm angry. (Cookie if you get this one. Though I don't think I need to, since it's pretty well-known.) Forsaker: Ooooh, I hates dat magic! Sentinel of Bharrai: My celestial mentor is a bipedal bear. No, my name is not Boo-Boo!
#30 zillah Apr 03, 2008 21:34:02	marshal: I yell so much you can't not do better artificer: anything you can do, i WILL do better druid reactions : Sh!T!!! its a DROOD! we are boned
#31 silverthumb Apr 04, 2008 16:27:31	Fighter= I have more feats than a centipede. TOE-TALLY COOL
#32 turalisj Apr 05, 2008 11:31:11	Assassin: I'll Kill you! Oh, waitk, could you hold still for a few seconds?
#33 jasonorlandohawk Apr 05, 2008 16:19:55	Cleric: "I find your lack of faith disturbing." (Shamelessly stolen. Works best w/ LE Clerics.) Paladin: Lawful Good and violent about it! (Again, shamelessly stolen.) And one last shameless set of one-liners... Elven (Arcane) Archer: "You have my bow!" Dwarven Fighter: "And my axe!" Human Bard: "And my biting social commentary!"
#34 prator_the_golden Apr 05, 2008 20:02:52	Barbarian: THOG SMASH! Fighter: THOG TRIP! Swordsage: THOG USE DANCE OF THE THOUSAND BLADES ATTACK!
#35 aleolus Apr 05, 2008 21:56:28	Soulborn: For (Insert alignment 1 here) and (Insert alignment 2 here) Totemist: Magical creatures are life, and life is magic and creatures. Wildrunner: Sorry, I've got a sore throat.
#36 makuya Apr 05, 2008 22:16:25	I just thought of this one: Greyguard: "Life without parole? You mean IMMEDIATE DEATH PENALTY!"
#37 pmurray%40bigpond.com Apr 05, 2008 22:39:44	Initiate of the Seven-Fold Veil: Pretty in pink, pretty in blue. Justicator: Just the facts, maa'm. Spirit Shaman: I see dead people. Also Fey and Elementals.
#38 turalisj Apr 06, 2008 19:56:00	Psybond agent: Bond, Psybond
#39 hariman Apr 06, 2008 22:15:09	Psybond Agent: Ew! You don't want to know what that guy was thinking about! Generic Spellcaster: I'm so much better than the sorcerer that no DM will allow me! Initiate of Draconic Mysteries: So it turns out that there are seventeen different ways for dragons to say "Yeah, he was a chump." to each other. OR: Just because I know doesn't mean that I'll tell you. Beastmaster: Come here boy! Come on! Good boy! That's a good dire bear! Dread Pirate: Pillage then burn. Dragonstalker: Well, that dragon was so cool I just had to know everything about him. I've been watching him for three years now and I know all his routines and that cute way he wipes his nose after he sneezes and where he works out and.... Dragonstalker: I dread the dragons that have friends. Effigy Master: No, my work is not blasphemy. They just didn't want to name me puppetmaster! Exalted Arcanist: I have this holier-than-thou attitude for a reason! Hidecarved dragon: Dude, check out my new tats! Kensai: My signature weapon is my forehead! Or: Aw, come on! Why can't my character use his middle finger as his signature weapon? Psychic weapon master: 13 to 20 crit on a falchion plus power attack makes Psychic Weapon Master happy! Master Astrologer: The stars say you die now! Or: Dammit Jenkins! Stop using the stars to insult my momma! Or: That's interesting, the stars say that Elminster will join the Greyhawk Three Dragon Ante league but get kicked out for unlawful uses of the spell "Cheat". Psychic Assassin: Could I get adapted to magic too? OR: I'm better at killing because I use my mind! Replacement Killer: No, I haven't heard of that movie. Why do you ask? OR: Who shall I be today? Streetfighter: Hadoken! OR: Board with nail or spiked gauntlet? Decisions decisions...
#40 timlagor Apr 06, 2008 23:00:40	Horizon Walker: Where do I want to go today?
#41 mr_seth Apr 07, 2008 8:43:39	Riffing my previous post... Psion - Hey! I'm gonna think your face off! Wilder - Hey! I'm gonna mindscream your face off! Soulknife - Hey! I'm gonna chop your face off - WITH MY MIND. Crusader - Hit me again, so I can chop your face off better. Warblade - I'm gonna chop your face off eighteen different ways! Swordsage - I'm gonna chop your face off... wuxia style. Ninja - Hey. `Sup. Oh, by the way, I chopped your face off a few minutes ago. And dropping the "X your face off" theme... Warlock - BOOM!
#42 kelvinaw273 Apr 07, 2008 12:02:59	OK, here's my take ... Barbarian: Leeeerooooy Jeeeeenkiiiiiins! Bard: Hey guys, I'm a jack-of-all-trades, and I can SING! Really ... I can ... Cleric: I've got GOD on my side! Druid: Nature is a Mother ... Fighter: I'm going to make the most of the first few levels ... Monk: Equipment? I don't need equipment ... Paladin: Smite makes Right! Ranger: I have issues ... Rogue: Just because I have skills does NOT mean I am out to double-cross everybody and kill them in their sleep. Honest ... Sorcerer: Power! I HAVE POWER! Wizard: I have knowledge ... knowledge IS power ... Psion: My mind is my weapon. Psychic warrior: So's mine, but I carry a few backups ... Soulknife: I don't care about the mechanics - I look cool. Wilder: Don't make me angry ... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry ... Spellthief: Now you have it, now you don't! Ninja: I am the shadow ... er ... what am I again? Scout: What the ranger wishes he could be! Swashbuckler: What do you mean 'dip class'? Samurai: Hexblade: Soldiers only wish they could curse like me ... Spirit Shaman: Spells 'R' Us! Wu Jen: Dammit, in MY culture, I'M the wizard! Shugenja: Let's join the Samurai and the Ninj ... Warmage: behold my blasty wrath! Warlock: Yeah, right ... Beguiler: Jealous, Bard? Dragon Shaman: Bask in my mighty, er, Aura! Knight: I challenge thee to a duel! Duskblade: Y'see, I started my career back in the good old days, in the Basic set ... yeah, they called me 'elf' back in those days, but now I'm cut loose from that racial stereotyping stuff an' I'm soloing now ... Favored Soul: Many are Called, few are Chosen! Ardent: I'm what the godless cleric should have been ... Divine Mind: I got this kinda Dragon Shaman, Paladin thing going here ... order another one, Sam ... Lurk: WTF? Where's the Trapfinding? Psychic Rogue: It's over here
#43 aleolus Apr 07, 2008 16:24:23	Truenamer: I know you. I know you better than you know yourself. Would you like to find out what that means? :D
#44 tharivol266_dup Apr 07, 2008 17:03:20	true namer: Aslckh''asdl'isdc'wofv excuse me i have a sinus infection that makes me sneeze alot. totemist: im like a barbarian...sorta...i mean i got the whole wild thing...look glowy blue animal thingy Soulborn: Fear my and my alignment wonk. Be happy the palidins arent like this bwahahahaha incarnate: uhh....im kinda lost until you pick an alignment for me....but look there is blue stuff everywhere....duuuuuuuude
#45 drunkendrake Apr 07, 2008 18:31:06	Ur-Priest: Hello! I am (a) Horribly broken! Chameleon: Hello. I am (b) Incredibly confusing! Beholder Mage: Hi. I am (c) All of the above. Shadowdancer: Cool! i can be useless in this shadow, and then be useless in that shadow too! Ashworm Dragoon: Hey, my mount can climb up walls... in the middle of an empty desert... Occult slayer: You know what, I think I'm going to train to go and attack people who can uttely destroy me in a single hit! Yeah, that sounds like a good idea! Illithid Savant: BRAAAAAINS! Dread Necromancer: Hello. I am CR 12. And my horde is CR 31. -Drake-
#46 sinfire_titan Apr 07, 2008 22:55:36	true namer: Aslckh''asdl'isdc'wofv excuse me i have a sinus infection that makes me sneeze alot. totemist: I'm a walking death machine. What are you gonna do about it, bub? Soulborn: Be very happy the palidins arent like this bwahahahaha incarnate: Yet again, a class that fights as good as the Fighter does, but with poor BAB. Fixed.
#47 zvbxrpl Apr 08, 2008 16:15:04	Dragonmark Heir: That's right, I get POWERS from being inbred. Heir of Siberys: Yeah, well I'm more inbred than you. HA! Extreme Explorer: Stop calling me "Indy." Master Inquisitive: DUN DUN! Warforged Juggernaut: Why, yes, I am a cold, unfeeling killing machine. Thank you. Weretouched Master: Four legs good, Two legs bad!
#48 bozwevial Apr 08, 2008 16:38:10	Psion: Do you mind? Dwarven Defender: We dwarves are very dangerous over short distances. Lurk: Wait. Psychic rogue WHAT? Monk: You mean you've never heard of Snap Kick? A demonstration is required. Wizard: The answer is Time Stop. No matter what the question.
#49 tharivol266_dup Apr 08, 2008 17:05:04	Fixed. lol. on the fourth edition boards someone was dissing incarnum and talking about how it was all blue stuff. I personally love incarnum but while i was writing up that truenamer one i thought of those and it seemed like a good idea at the time......good idea at the time....thats how i lost both my hands and my lower jaw. I'm typing all of this with my nose
#50 hariman Apr 09, 2008 18:56:14	Divine Mind: So I worship a god and get Phychic power in return. No, I don't get it either. Masochist: Watch me do an impression of Gray Fox! Masochist: I'm more Emo than the Warlock. Warlock: I'm not Emo, I'm conflicted and deep! Thrall of x: I admit it. I'm a worse tool than a Paladin and a cleric combined. Warlock: Could I get some prestige classes other than "Become a good guy", "Serve an evil master" or "Copy of the Mystic Theurge"? Reforged: I have no strings on me! Blood Magus: Do not mock me! I died for this class! Dragon Disciple: Does 40 Strength seem like too much at 20th level? Dragon Devotee: Do sneak attack, extra strength and natural attacks seem like to much to you? Spellwarp Sniper: Eat warped fireball ray thingy! Erudite: Why yes, I am smarter than you. Nightmare Spinner: Wait, why do nightmares spin?
#51 makuya Apr 09, 2008 19:16:02	Truenamer: "I'M ONLY GOOD AT LOWER LEVELS?!?!?!?" Pale Master: "The arcane power of undeath flows in me!"
#52 groundzero0523 Apr 09, 2008 19:27:54	Epic Ranger: "Putting the 'Range' back in 'Ranger'." Epic Rogue: "He'd steal your heart, if he thought it had a good resell value..." Epic Fighter: "I -am- the 'bad news'..." Epic Druid: "Badgers? -We don't need- no stinkin' badgers!" Epic Wizard: "-And now- for something -completely different-!" Epic Sorcerer: "-The Larch-..." Epic Barbarian: *No quote, just a lot of things broken, animals swiped and daughters stolen* Epic Cleric: "Look, I spoke to Him -personally-, and He just -really- doesn't like you. Maybe try Obad-Hai? I know a guy who could get you in on the ground floor..." Epic Paladin: "Smite makes right!" Epic Monk: "I'd try to explain why I do what I do, but I've got a date with a -really cute- Outsider being, I've got to go"
#53 metzen Apr 10, 2008 5:25:34	Epic Monk: Run Forest, run!
#54 cuindless Apr 10, 2008 5:41:58	Specialist Conjurer: Because who needs evocation and enchantment anyway? Specialist Transmuter: Yeah... what he said.
#55 turalisj Apr 10, 2008 6:19:10	Knight and CW Samurai (in unision): Stereotyped? Who's stereotyped?!
#56 gentlemanic Apr 10, 2008 8:45:30	Vile Darkness Cancer Mage - Even my coodies are evil. Demonologist - Yeah, I've misspelled it wrong on occasion myself.. That's DEMON-OLOGIST. Diabolist - At first this class looked pretty swell, until I figured out the requirements. Disciple of Asmodeus - I'm not the ideal son in law, but I can make you believe that I am :D Disciple of Baalzebul - Why not just lie about it? Disciple of Dispater - Call me Iron Man. Disciple of Mammon - I agree with the Baalzebul guy. Disciple of Mephistotles - By fire be purged! ... Of goodness... Or whatever. Stupid class! I should have become a Warblade instead. Lifedrinker - Sluuurp. Mortal Hunter - Why am I taking classes for slaying mortals when over 90% of the world population is commoner anyway? Soul Eater - *Chomp* Chomp* What? You don't chew on souls? This class is just lame... Thrall of Demogorgon - I have issues. Thrall of Graz'zt - Yeah, my patron became evil at an early age, when the kids at school kept making fun of his name. Sad story really. But don't I look sassy? Thrall of Jubilex - Oh great demon of pudding and jellow! There's always room for jellow! Thrall of Orcus - I want to be a naked, undead loving hobo.. Is there any class for that..? There is?! Ur-Priest - List buddy, I'm not 'Ur' priest. I don't care what it says on my character sheet. Vermin Lord - Muhahaha! My very own ant farm! Warrior of Darkness - I rub lotion in myself in order to get more bad-ass. How metro sexual is that? Draconomicon Dracolyte - Yeah, real bad acolyte pun... I'd rather have you call me Jim. I also prefer to wear armor instead of robes. Dragonkith - Let's put it this way: No class conventions for this class. Dragon Slayer - A DRAGON! Kill it! Dragon Rider - Dude, you just killed MY MOUNT! Dragon Song Lyrist - Everybody! Let's sing Tiamat is a b*tch in D-Minor! Dragonstalker - It's a tough job. But someone's got to do it. Hordestealer - And you wonder why it's hard to get insurance? I steal prised possesions from incredible smart, strong and fast opponents. I HAVE A D6 HIT DIE! Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries - About time the DM guide prestige class got an update. TADA! Platinum Knight - So, I'm like valuta? Talon of Tiamat - Breathweapon for every occasion.
#57 m1kh43l_p4r4d1s0 Apr 11, 2008 10:26:33	Frenzied Berserker: You won't like me when I'm angry. (Cookie if you get this one. Though I don't think I need to, since it's pretty well-known.) The Hulk! cookie... please?
#58 the_black_hand Apr 11, 2008 11:02:01	The Hulk! cookie... please? Actually its not "The Hulk" who would have said that.. Bruce Bannon (or what ever his name is).
#59 zvbxrpl Apr 11, 2008 11:36:05	Defiant: Why, yes, my class is based around spitting in the face of nigh-omnipotent beings. Guys, where are you going...and did it suddenly get dark and cloudy? Chaotician: Well, I've always enjoyed the sensation of warm coffee on the eyes. However, if you're a trapeze artist, I can see why you might want to smoke some eggplant instead. Point is, even though some of you may be putrescent, we all need love. Yes, even the shattered mirror can dance, swoon, and projectile vomit. It's not hard to do, just pull your ear over your head. As a bonus, you'll be able to hear the sound of your own hair growing, and isn't that what we all want? You can keep your groveling turkey sandwiches and tapdancers, just give me one drunken cartographer to draw me a map of that spider. Speaking of which, the streams of tears on your face look tasty. May I poke them with this baguette? Please? Oh, your kindness is unrivaled by even the most stoic longshoremen. I shall repay you in eyeballs and cheese, or perhaps a large stack of encyclopedias. Farewell 'til yesterday, for today the buzzards sound. Elemental Warrior: What, I can't do anything with heart? This class sucks. Bladesinger: *sings* Blade blade blade blade BLADE. Blade BLADE blade BLAAAAAADE. Dread Pirate: You mean I can't change my name to 'Roberts?' Exemplar: Fear my prowess at oratory, blacksmithing, handling animals, and picking locks! Yeah, you better run! Highland Stalker: Nope, I can't stalk a damn thing in the lowlands. Sorry. Maester: Oh, two bonus feats, shorter crafting times, and I can cast Identify without casting it. Whoo. Master of Many Forms: Hey, guys, I really think my Wildshape ability is underpowered. I'm gonna take a prestige class to make it better. Vigilante: I. AM. BAT-ELF.
#60 rabidpirateman Apr 11, 2008 12:11:10	Fighter: It's bad enough having a subpar class when everyone who plays you insists that two large bastard swords are the best way to go. Ur-Priest: Richard Dawkins complained about the Wall in Forgotten Realms, so they gave him me.
#61 Omnirahk_half-Rahkshi Apr 11, 2008 13:31:18	Rogue: "Don't worry, I'll get this lock." Later . . . "It's too tough. I can't get this one." Fighter: "At last! A chance to sunder something!" wizard: "No! We want stealth!" *to the rogue* "Have you tried Knocking? " spellthief: *smacks the wizard in the back of the head for making such a bad pun and steals a Knock spell. The door opens.* wizard: See? I told you to try knocking. spellthief: *holds up an open hand* Don't make me smack you again. The next one'll let me fireball your sorry @*ss.
#62 m1kh43l_p4r4d1s0 Apr 11, 2008 14:57:39	Actually its not "The Hulk" who would have said that.. Bruce Bannon (or what ever his name is). Bruce Banner, but he says it in The Hulk! So I say we split the cookie, mmmmk?
#63 ocarina_guy Sep 05, 2008 0:19:01	Cavalier: I took a prestige class to ride a HORSE!? Exotic Weapon Master: Look at the fancy stuff I can do with my weapon! And no other weapon! Uncanny Trickster: Can you do this? Oh, sure, I could take a real class, but I decided to put skill points into this. Duskblade: It's a fighter taped to a wizard! Soulknife: No, I'm NOT a Jedi. Warforged Juggernaut: Come with me if you want to live. Drunken Master: I can takesh all sixsh of yah. (there's only one person there)
#64 guardian1 Sep 07, 2008 14:58:14	Bruce Banner, but he says it in The Hulk! So I say we split the cookie, mmmmk? Here ya go! Now, share nicely!
#65 doomsought Sep 08, 2008 13:27:19	Drunken Master: I can takesh all sixsh of yah. (there's only one person there) :D
#66 Angel_Black Sep 08, 2008 16:51:55	Barbarian: I like to do it with blood Bard: I like to do it with music Cleric: I like to do it with gods Druid: I like to do it with animals Fighter: I like to do it with weapons Monk: I like to do it with my bare hands Paladin: I like to do it ,but only with bad people, I don't care if they are male or female, they have to be baaaad. Ranger: I don't like to do it, I just enjoy the hunting. Rogue: I like to do it in the rear. Sorcerer: I like to do it without much planning. Wizard: I like to do it by the book. Psion: I like to do it in my mind. Ninja: I like to do it while nbody is watching. Swashbuckler: I like to do it in the fastest and fancy way.
#67 ocarina_guy Sep 08, 2008 17:01:41	Bard (borrowed from Order of the Stick): I go into dungeons and SING at people. Warforged juggernaut: (bursts through a wall) Oh yeah!
#68 doomsought Sep 09, 2008 13:42:50	Shape shifter: Now I'm this, Now I'm something different. Wu Jen: I'm like the sorcerer, but I am slanty eyed and have cooler powers.
#69 turalisj Sep 09, 2008 14:07:37	Actualy, Wu Jen is more like the wizard and the 'slanty eye' is to make them seem eastern. Rogue (with bluff beefed out): Look, a monkey!
#70 Angel_Black Sep 10, 2008 15:15:11	Spellthief: Pick a spell,pick a spell, is easy for you to say that. Scout: If I move you lose.(Valid only if you have blood) Favored Soul: What a Cleric does just more times a day. Spirit Shaman: What a Druid does with a wizards like mind. Hexblade: I can curse and stab.Yeah like Fowlmouth with a dagger. Healer: I have a pony and heal people.Yeah kind of Rainbow Brite.
#71 doomsought Sep 10, 2008 18:35:29	Favored soul: My god likes me so much that he gives me wings! Kobold: I can do the smae by level six with two feats. Favored soul: scratch that, I'm going to be a kobold. Dragonborn of Bahamut: I can get wings as a racial feature, and no feats to fly at 6th level. Favored soul: Races of the dragon are far more awesome than Complete Divine!
#72 turalisj Sep 10, 2008 22:51:06	Kobold:*tears off skin* I'm realy a god! Dragonborn and Favored Soul: :OMG!
#73 The-Mage-King Sep 11, 2008 8:50:29	Death Master: I get to be a lich at level 20? And I get an undead minion?Sweet!
#74 doomsought Sep 11, 2008 13:53:42	Artificer: Low magic campaign? Not anymore!
#75 Angel_Black Sep 22, 2008 21:07:21	Goliath Barbarian: Like a barbarian, but I can call weakling to any other barbarian. Halfling Barbarian: I am scary.Portatile and scary. Half orc Barbarian: I am weaker than Goliath. Planar Barbarian: I crush outsiders.
#76 turalisj Sep 22, 2008 22:26:38	Gnome barbarian: Call me stubby biotch. I dare ya.
#77 demonfey02 Sep 22, 2008 23:26:15	Halfling Ranger/Barbarian: I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR! ;)
#78 yamishinobi Sep 25, 2008 20:31:41	Daggerspell Mage: I have to give up a 9th level spell to do any damage. if only i had one. am i a wizard or a rogue? Arcane trickster: For the first 10 levels, i'm dead weight, i really shine levels 14 and up. can you say rays out the wazoo? Unseen seer, silly arcane trickster. i am superior, and smarter. Daggerspell shaper, yeah, i can keep my stuff in wildshape, take that druid. Shadowbane stalker, Protect the light!! Condemn The dark!! Oh No! where's Sir Heath? Shadowbane inquisitor, right here, don't steal my motto Barbarian (in mind) Shadowmind hot! Shadowmind, you won't like my thoughts!! EEEWWW your fantasies disgust me!!!! Psionic rogue, Shadowmind, please train my younger sister. Lurk, Big brother, let me fix my own mistakes, sorry for my weaknesses, i don't trust that shadowmind lady.
#79 melchizedek Sep 27, 2008 19:26:07	This isn't mine, but it's always made me Fighter: I can kill a guy in one round. Cleric: I can kill a guy with one standard action. Wizard: I can kill a guy on his action. Bard: I can convince three idiots to kill a guy for me.
#80 thecapn Sep 28, 2008 22:47:12	Factotum: "I'm Batman."
#81 turalisj Sep 28, 2008 23:20:51	Wizard: No, I. AM. BATMAN! Warforged Juggernaught: I'm the juggernaught, *****. Shifter: The names' wolverine Telepath:*manifests True Mind Switch* Let's see Jean Grey do this! Soulknife: Wait, what do you mean 'poor excuse for a frontliner'?
#82 ocarina_guy Oct 01, 2008 22:58:36	Truenamer: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words control reality. Chaos incarnate: Turquoise bicycle shoe fins actualize radishes greenly! Pyrokineticist: Whee! Burn it all! Cryokineticist: Whee! Freeze it all! Dwarven defender: Tank tank tank tank tank...
#83 turalisj Oct 02, 2008 8:26:28	Deepstone(ed) Sentinal: Duuuude Eternal Guardian: I was trained by my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather in all forms of combat! Now, how do you use this sword-thingy again?
#84 The-Mage-King Oct 07, 2008 8:17:50	Cerebremancer: I'M UNSTOPPABLE!! NO MAGIC-PSIONICS TRANSPACANCY CAN DO ANY... is that a swoARGHHHHH!!!
#85 aleolus Oct 08, 2008 2:04:47	Truenamer: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words control reality. Pact Binder: I'm the ultimate Jack-of-all-trades! I just need to find the right spirit >.> Chaos incarnate: Turquoise bicycle shoe fins actualize radishes greenly Soulborn: I'm like a Paladin, but better!
#86 jkob88 Oct 08, 2008 7:35:01	Dread Necromancer: I have 50+ undead minions and it will take an hour to finish my turn... wizard/sorcerer: I'M NOT WEARING A DRESS!!! Adept: My class name is misleading, im not very adept. Noble: My dad can beat up your dad.