Our party is as follows: Ranger, Fighter/Warlord hybrid (me), Battlemind, Cleric, and Rogue.
The Ranger's stats are ridiculous. He never misses any attacks. About three weeks ago, I created a Deva Shaman.. and the "ranger" was the DM (we take turns) and he killed off my character because he hated it so much. His reasoning was "when would we realistically ever run into a Deva??"
..Um... i thought this was a FANTASY world? Christ.
He gave me a big lecture saying that playing anything aside from a human or an elf is wrong because it makes the game either too easy, or too unrealistic.
My thoughts are, he loves being the brute. He loves having the most strength, and the biggest attacks. Last week while gaming, he came out and told all of us that the rest of the party could run into the bushes because he could just win the fight without us.
I'm sick of being told what characters to create, and what's "realistic" for D&D .. I was about to roll a Bullywug.. just because it seemed interesting.. until he started complaining about it. But he wants to turn his Ranger into an Ox because he thinks it'll be cool.
Does anyone have any advice to offer on how to deal with someone like this?
The Ranger's stats are ridiculous. He never misses any attacks. About three weeks ago, I created a Deva Shaman.. and the "ranger" was the DM (we take turns) and he killed off my character because he hated it so much. His reasoning was "when would we realistically ever run into a Deva??"
..Um... i thought this was a FANTASY world? Christ.
He gave me a big lecture saying that playing anything aside from a human or an elf is wrong because it makes the game either too easy, or too unrealistic.
My thoughts are, he loves being the brute. He loves having the most strength, and the biggest attacks. Last week while gaming, he came out and told all of us that the rest of the party could run into the bushes because he could just win the fight without us.
I'm sick of being told what characters to create, and what's "realistic" for D&D .. I was about to roll a Bullywug.. just because it seemed interesting.. until he started complaining about it. But he wants to turn his Ranger into an Ox because he thinks it'll be cool.
Does anyone have any advice to offer on how to deal with someone like this?
As with all threads asking for help about a player, have you talked to him about it?
If he really won't change, when you DM, kill his character, see how he likes it. But really it might be a case of not letting him have such control, or even not being in the group?
2: How did you do stats? Rolled stats, by all reports, really mess 4e up. It's pretty much built around some particular math. You can tweak it, certainly (See, the existence of 32 point buy games :P), but that really only works out when the tweaks apply to everyone equally. He shouldn't be able to have higher stats than anyone else can obtain.
3: When he says "When would we realistically run into a Deva?", have an answer. As they exist in the game world, you might run into one - they might even seek the party out.
4: Remind him that his preferences are not law. Perhaps point him to the "try to say yes" stuff in the DMG.
5: Perhaps run seperate games, as opposed to Co-DMing one, if you can't collaborate fully. Ban DMPCs from both games. If you need an extra character, someone gets a companion character.
6: Let him try to win a standard fight on his own. For extra fun, pack it with minions! Strikers do high damage, but perhaps he needs to be reminded that high single target DPR doesn't make him the party MVP. That's usually a leader.
7: THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. Talk to other members of the group to find out if they are also having troubles. Talk to him as a group. If you do this collectively, he cannot defend himself by saying "it's just you, why are you trying to get in the way of everyone's fun?" (An easy rationalization that tries to make you out to be the bad guy in this scenario), and also has to confront the fact that he might not get to DM anymore. You should not be agressive, IE, you should not "attack" him, because that encourages a defensive response, which would not be productive.
I'd say first thing, try having a talk with the player. it is the player that's the problem here. Tell him he's seriously cramping your fun, and it's not cool. Maybe remind him that it's a game, and the goal is for everyone to have fun. If you wanna run a deva or a bullywug, and everyone else is cool with it, he needs to Man Up and stop being a bitch. You might try being nicer than I am in this post(I am an ass). If he's not receptive to this kind of thing, you have two basic options. One is putting up with him. This has hampered your fun considerably so far, and will probably continue to do so. The other is to evaluate your group. Which players share his basic ideas on these problematic matters? Are most of them thinking, "Wow, this guy is kind of abrasive." or are they thinking, "F your deva."? If they are thinking he is overboard in his opinions re: race/class choices, talk to them and maybe you could all sit him down and say, "Hey, everyone needs to have fun, let that happen." if he can't get the idea, maybe you could get him ostracized and kicked out. Harsh thing to do, but I've done it before, and sometimes if one player's expectations from the game and the group are that incompatible than everyone else's, it's the best thing for the group as a whole. On the other hand, if most of them think you are silly for wanting to play a deva, and they back him in these matters, maybe you should begin quietly looking for a new group. Some groups are ok with rampant asshattery, and that's not for everyone.
Consider printing this thread and brining it with you next game to have him look over, or at least certain responses you find useful. He may find it insightful what the community at large thinks about his playstyle.
excellent idea! i think i will.
Consider printing this thread and brining it with you next game to have him look over, or at least certain responses you find useful. He may find it insightful what the community at large thinks about his playstyle.
I don't like this idea. We are, after all, just a bunch of anonymous internet idiots who need to get a life. ;)
Bella, have you talked about getting rid of the rotating DM thing? Sharing DM duties only really works when everyone wants to DM, and you can all work from the same gameplan. He obviously can't or won't do that.
Does one of you really enjoy DMing more than the others? If so, see if everyone is willing to move to a primary-DM-with-occasional-breaks system. The person who enjoys it runs the main campaign for a weekly game. Then once a month one of you steps in for a little one-off adventure to take the pressure off. The one-offs can use the same characters (with the understanding that it doesn't affect the campaign), but you could also use different characters for it, and even use the chance to do higher-level adventures now and then. The campaign is level 5? No prob. "next week, when I take my turn, everyone bring level 15 characters." Plus if killer-DM does take a turn, the one-off method won't destroy the whole campaign.
There are a lot of benefits to this system. Give it a thought.
Whenever I speak up, I look like a bitch. and no one "has my back" because.. well, they dont give a s**t.
One of the harder things I've learned to do in gaming is that if it is going to seriously improve your playing experience, don' worry about looking like a bitch. In a group setting, dicks are common, and they generally won't respond to being asked nicely. Sometimes, whether it's to get them to behave or to kick them out, you have to be a bitch.
The 'ranger' also is obsessed with WoW... i feel like that could be why he only enjoys combat after combat.
: p (obligatory "I play wow and am not this way, I feel I must defend myself" statement)
We cant really .. kick him out .. cuz he's a good friend of ours. So we need to find a way to make this work. I am going to initiate a conversation about it at our next game.
I'm still of the "kick him" opinion, but I also support this. If you can effect a change that makes your play experience better, then something good has come from this thread.
I have talked to another member of our group (my boyfriend) and he agrees completely.. but yknow how that's guna look. "Ooh the boyfriend is only siding with the girlfriend because he's bangin her" type of deal..lol
Support is support. Besides, you never know, if the 4th guy is a wimp and sees it's two on one, he might join your side.
Thanks again everyoneI'm so glad I asked.. this has been on my mind for so long. Everyone gave really great advice and suggestions, and I'll more than likely have a follow up post after the 14th on how everything went.
<3
I'm eager to see how it goes. Good luck.