Problems with DM - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

Problems with DM

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
faulc
Nov 05, 2010 11:32:12 I just started a campaign with a new group and I'm having some problems with the DM. Due to experience with the guy ( I work with him), he is the type of guy who enjoys pissing others off just because he can. After starting the game out, I found out that he changed some game mechanics that really hinders my character (my weapons are rare and can't be made without a penalty, so I have to rely on him giving me the weapons in loot and they are more expensive to boot). I've told him that I'm not comfortable with my character under his rules and that I wouldn't have made it had I known his houserules. I told him I wanted to change my character because I was not comfortable and then he told me that he changed the rules again so that if I do change out my character, it will be at a lower level compared to everyone else for it.

As far as I see it my options are this

#1. Quit. I don't want to do it, because this is my time to actually have something that resembles a social life. Something I haven't had in several years. Though telling him to go screw himself would be very, very satisfying right now

#2. Suffer through it. On the bright side, he may only be the DM until about mid-jan, early feb. but that still gives him plenty of time to be a dick and turn what should be an enjoyable experience for me horrible. He's asking me to trust him that he'll give me what I need, but given what he's been doing so far, I'm fairly certain he won't (he likes being the "top dog" as it were, has his own character in the game, and with the rule structure he has set it up so he'll likely be the strongest player by far).

#3. The one that I'm currently doing, which is look for a new group. Because of my work schedule, along with location, I don't think I'm going to succeed any time soon (I've been waiting for 3 years before I foundthis one). As that stands, I'll still have to go with one or two in the meantime.

#2
Pashalik_Mons
Nov 05, 2010 11:58:45 My gut response here is to say, "screw this jerk."

I recommend talking to him about it one more time. You work with the guy, so it's probably not a good idea to argue about it(gonna have to see him at work later and all), but think about his rules, and think up a couple possible compromises between what he wants and what you want. Lay out your concerns in a polite manner and put in those compromises when you can. If he doesn't go for it(from what you've said, I'm guessing he won't), then you lead into, "Well, in that case, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to bow out of this campaign." If it's feasible, keep in contact with the group, and when this guy gets out of the DM chair, consider going back, if there's anyone else there worth playing with. If you fid the rest of the group agreeable, you might consider staying just long enough to forge a friendship with one that gets to the point where you can hang out outside of game time. That will be your road back in when this guy is not DM anymore.

In the meantime, the PbP Haven and Real Adventures, two groups on this site, run some good PbP games. It's not the same as sitting around the table with the guys, but it gets you playing the game.
#42
vampire_bat
Nov 16, 2010 12:28:58 As a possibility, ask him to allow you to use the same character, but start with say, swords made from troll bones. Bone tools have been around a long time- especially if theres no metal. And unlike stone, you can 'upgrade' bone weapons by beast (prized possession may end up enchanted dragon teeth blades). It opens alot of rp space (hunting creatures for said bones/teeth, and maybe finding troll bones that regenerate, using fire to 'forge' them into the shape they regrow to).

You keep the flavor of the character (unless he was metal manic) and while they can break if weak bones, it does open alot of options, for both you and him. He may have not even considered it.
#43
inarai
Nov 16, 2010 12:32:23
as for the world - it's his creation.

I used to experiment with one in which elves could not touch iron, and had to use bronze weapons - no longswords or two handers for obvious reasons.

As for his DMing style - from what i've gathered - he got the wrong idea of being a dungeon master.
His job is to provide a compelling story and entertainment, not to simply throw challenges in front of the players.

1: Well, yeah, but proper communication of the precepts of his world and rules of his game are abslutely his responsibility.

2: The DM's role is the set up a game that appeals to the interests of the players, which may or may not be what you describe.
#44
faulc
Nov 17, 2010 0:07:59 @qki asked and denied previously. I tried any amount of fluff to get same mechanics, I asked to create my own weapon that just happened to have the same stats and everything as one of the types. Denied. If I try to fluff it, mechanics fail along with it. That does include using different metals.

As for the loot, I already asked to come in with comparable stuff, he said no. My options are 1. take the shaft 2. leave 3. do some dickery of my own. I think I'll take option 3. You are correct in that DM's can be dicks, but so can players and at this point I think its either submit to it or stand up to it.
#45
Harn_Winterfell
Nov 17, 2010 1:57:40 Personally I wouldn't even bother with option 3. That's just going to lead to more problems and ones that may radiate out from the game to your shared work environment. Just politely decline showing up anymore with a "I'm sorry but I guess our play styles are just too different, thanks for having me though. Best of luck." and be done with it.

You'll find another group after a while, there are always the pbp games on this site that are starting up from time to time that can be quite fun.
#46
boraxe
Nov 17, 2010 8:11:14
Personally I wouldn't even bother with option 3. That's just going to lead to more problems and ones that may radiate out from the game to your shared work environment. Just politely decline showing up anymore with a "I'm sorry but I guess our play styles are just too different, thanks for having me though. Best of luck." and be done with it.

This. Also, consider talking to the other players away from the table. Ask them if they are having fun. If not, discuss teh possibility of breaking away from the knob and getting a better game going.

Another thing you might consider is taking a PC which is a carbon-copy of one of the other PCs. If the DM continues to screw you over and not the other player then clearly he has it out for you personally.
#47
zmortis
Nov 17, 2010 9:21:34 It sounds to me that with option 3 you are opting to enter a "p*****g" battle and the only result is that both of you will get wet. In my opinion options 1 and 2 are better choices.

I would pick option 1 myself, because I don't generally mind if DMs color their campaigns in a specific way. I enjoy the challenge presented by low technology/poverty gaming environments. I also don't think I have to be treated equal "in game" to everyone else. It is possible that it may only be your mistaken impression that the DM is deliberately malicious with his actions with the intent to give you the player the shaft here. Personally I think too many players expect everything they want to be just handed to them, and the moment a DM doesn't comply, they complain about mistreatment.

However, if the DM really is a major jerk and an ass out of the game, then I would have never started playing with him to begin, and option 2 sounds like the best choice in that case as others are advocating here. Unfortunately, this growing exchange is beginning to sound a lot like a misery of your own choosing/making, and option 3 is only creating more problems instead of solving anything. It makes it seem like the jerk here could possibly well be you instead of him. I don't know what this DM is thinking with his actions, and I can't say he is or isn't acting with clear malace toward you with what I have read here so far. However, you have made your own negative attitude quite clear.

My advice is to sit out his game, and do a little self reflection on your own contribution to this little drama you've worked up for yourself. I'm not saying you're the one at fault here, but it certainly takes "two to tango". If you don't wan't to take positive steps to resolve or avoid future problems, then it certainly seems possible that you have some more growing up to do yourself.

I hope this helps.
#48
DaBugbear
Nov 17, 2010 12:32:08
@qki asked and denied previously. I tried any amount of fluff to get same mechanics, I asked to create my own weapon that just happened to have the same stats and everything as one of the types. Denied. If I try to fluff it, mechanics fail along with it. That does include using different metals.

As for the loot, I already asked to come in with comparable stuff, he said no. My options are 1. take the shaft 2. leave 3. do some dickery of my own. I think I'll take option 3. You are correct in that DM's can be dicks, but so can players and at this point I think its either submit to it or stand up to it.

Eh. You can't win vs. a DM who is determined to not let you. It's "his" world, after all. He has already shown himself not above creating rules out of the air to prevent you from getting what you are after.. I don't understand why you think he will allow you to "leave" your stuff to your new character if he is expressly trying to hamstring you.

Personally, I would thank the DM for his time and bow out. If you get asked why you are leaving, don't play coy. Just say that you aren't having fun due to differences in play style, but you have enjoyed meeting everyone.

If this is your only outlet to gaming, consider some of the play-by-post options mentioned here, or check out the Living Forgotten Realms on the WotC page. I'm not a personal fan of LFR, but it is a great option if the choices are game or no game, and through LFR games, you can usually find some folks you enjoy playing with enough that you can either cadge an invite to or start up a home game.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 faulc Nov 05, 2010 11:32:12	I just started a campaign with a new group and I'm having some problems with the DM. Due to experience with the guy ( I work with him), he is the type of guy who enjoys pissing others off just because he can. After starting the game out, I found out that he changed some game mechanics that really hinders my character (my weapons are rare and can't be made without a penalty, so I have to rely on him giving me the weapons in loot and they are more expensive to boot). I've told him that I'm not comfortable with my character under his rules and that I wouldn't have made it had I known his houserules. I told him I wanted to change my character because I was not comfortable and then he told me that he changed the rules again so that if I do change out my character, it will be at a lower level compared to everyone else for it. As far as I see it my options are this #1. Quit. I don't want to do it, because this is my time to actually have something that resembles a social life. Something I haven't had in several years. Though telling him to go screw himself would be very, very satisfying right now #2. Suffer through it. On the bright side, he may only be the DM until about mid-jan, early feb. but that still gives him plenty of time to be a dick and turn what should be an enjoyable experience for me horrible. He's asking me to trust him that he'll give me what I need, but given what he's been doing so far, I'm fairly certain he won't (he likes being the "top dog" as it were, has his own character in the game, and with the rule structure he has set it up so he'll likely be the strongest player by far). #3. The one that I'm currently doing, which is look for a new group. Because of my work schedule, along with location, I don't think I'm going to succeed any time soon (I've been waiting for 3 years before I foundthis one). As that stands, I'll still have to go with one or two in the meantime.
#2 Pashalik_Mons Nov 05, 2010 11:58:45	My gut response here is to say, "screw this jerk." I recommend talking to him about it one more time. You work with the guy, so it's probably not a good idea to argue about it(gonna have to see him at work later and all), but think about his rules, and think up a couple possible compromises between what he wants and what you want. Lay out your concerns in a polite manner and put in those compromises when you can. If he doesn't go for it(from what you've said, I'm guessing he won't), then you lead into, "Well, in that case, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to bow out of this campaign." If it's feasible, keep in contact with the group, and when this guy gets out of the DM chair, consider going back, if there's anyone else there worth playing with. If you fid the rest of the group agreeable, you might consider staying just long enough to forge a friendship with one that gets to the point where you can hang out outside of game time. That will be your road back in when this guy is not DM anymore. In the meantime, the PbP Haven and Real Adventures, two groups on this site, run some good PbP games. It's not the same as sitting around the table with the guys, but it gets you playing the game.
#42 vampire_bat Nov 16, 2010 12:28:58	As a possibility, ask him to allow you to use the same character, but start with say, swords made from troll bones. Bone tools have been around a long time- especially if theres no metal. And unlike stone, you can 'upgrade' bone weapons by beast (prized possession may end up enchanted dragon teeth blades). It opens alot of rp space (hunting creatures for said bones/teeth, and maybe finding troll bones that regenerate, using fire to 'forge' them into the shape they regrow to). You keep the flavor of the character (unless he was metal manic) and while they can break if weak bones, it does open alot of options, for both you and him. He may have not even considered it.
#43 inarai Nov 16, 2010 12:32:23	as for the world - it's his creation. I used to experiment with one in which elves could not touch iron, and had to use bronze weapons - no longswords or two handers for obvious reasons. As for his DMing style - from what i've gathered - he got the wrong idea of being a dungeon master. His job is to provide a compelling story and entertainment, not to simply throw challenges in front of the players. 1: Well, yeah, but proper communication of the precepts of his world and rules of his game are abslutely his responsibility. 2: The DM's role is the set up a game that appeals to the interests of the players, which may or may not be what you describe.
#44 faulc Nov 17, 2010 0:07:59	@qki asked and denied previously. I tried any amount of fluff to get same mechanics, I asked to create my own weapon that just happened to have the same stats and everything as one of the types. Denied. If I try to fluff it, mechanics fail along with it. That does include using different metals. As for the loot, I already asked to come in with comparable stuff, he said no. My options are 1. take the shaft 2. leave 3. do some dickery of my own. I think I'll take option 3. You are correct in that DM's can be dicks, but so can players and at this point I think its either submit to it or stand up to it.
#45 Harn_Winterfell Nov 17, 2010 1:57:40	Personally I wouldn't even bother with option 3. That's just going to lead to more problems and ones that may radiate out from the game to your shared work environment. Just politely decline showing up anymore with a "I'm sorry but I guess our play styles are just too different, thanks for having me though. Best of luck." and be done with it. You'll find another group after a while, there are always the pbp games on this site that are starting up from time to time that can be quite fun.
#46 boraxe Nov 17, 2010 8:11:14	Personally I wouldn't even bother with option 3. That's just going to lead to more problems and ones that may radiate out from the game to your shared work environment. Just politely decline showing up anymore with a "I'm sorry but I guess our play styles are just too different, thanks for having me though. Best of luck." and be done with it. This. Also, consider talking to the other players away from the table. Ask them if they are having fun. If not, discuss teh possibility of breaking away from the knob and getting a better game going. Another thing you might consider is taking a PC which is a carbon-copy of one of the other PCs. If the DM continues to screw you over and not the other player then clearly he has it out for you personally.
#47 zmortis Nov 17, 2010 9:21:34	It sounds to me that with option 3 you are opting to enter a "p*****g" battle and the only result is that both of you will get wet. In my opinion options 1 and 2 are better choices. I would pick option 1 myself, because I don't generally mind if DMs color their campaigns in a specific way. I enjoy the challenge presented by low technology/poverty gaming environments. I also don't think I have to be treated equal "in game" to everyone else. It is possible that it may only be your mistaken impression that the DM is deliberately malicious with his actions with the intent to give you the player the shaft here. Personally I think too many players expect everything they want to be just handed to them, and the moment a DM doesn't comply, they complain about mistreatment. However, if the DM really is a major jerk and an ass out of the game, then I would have never started playing with him to begin, and option 2 sounds like the best choice in that case as others are advocating here. Unfortunately, this growing exchange is beginning to sound a lot like a misery of your own choosing/making, and option 3 is only creating more problems instead of solving anything. It makes it seem like the jerk here could possibly well be you instead of him. I don't know what this DM is thinking with his actions, and I can't say he is or isn't acting with clear malace toward you with what I have read here so far. However, you have made your own negative attitude quite clear. My advice is to sit out his game, and do a little self reflection on your own contribution to this little drama you've worked up for yourself. I'm not saying you're the one at fault here, but it certainly takes "two to tango". If you don't wan't to take positive steps to resolve or avoid future problems, then it certainly seems possible that you have some more growing up to do yourself. I hope this helps.
#48 DaBugbear Nov 17, 2010 12:32:08	@qki asked and denied previously. I tried any amount of fluff to get same mechanics, I asked to create my own weapon that just happened to have the same stats and everything as one of the types. Denied. If I try to fluff it, mechanics fail along with it. That does include using different metals. As for the loot, I already asked to come in with comparable stuff, he said no. My options are 1. take the shaft 2. leave 3. do some dickery of my own. I think I'll take option 3. You are correct in that DM's can be dicks, but so can players and at this point I think its either submit to it or stand up to it. Eh. You can't win vs. a DM who is determined to not let you. It's "his" world, after all. He has already shown himself not above creating rules out of the air to prevent you from getting what you are after.. I don't understand why you think he will allow you to "leave" your stuff to your new character if he is expressly trying to hamstring you. Personally, I would thank the DM for his time and bow out. If you get asked why you are leaving, don't play coy. Just say that you aren't having fun due to differences in play style, but you have enjoyed meeting everyone. If this is your only outlet to gaming, consider some of the play-by-post options mentioned here, or check out the Living Forgotten Realms on the WotC page. I'm not a personal fan of LFR, but it is a great option if the choices are game or no game, and through LFR games, you can usually find some folks you enjoy playing with enough that you can either cadge an invite to or start up a home game.