Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 playable_character Aug 18, 2008 17:04:27	I am currently in quite the predicament in my weekly RP group. The PROBLEM PLAYER... -is a meta-gamer -can not stop bragging about anything and everything. -Puts down the other members for any faults they did/have. -Has to be the Leader//be the one who talks. -Does not take any faults of his own. -Needs to be the center of attention (Whenever anyone does anything at all he always tries to steal the spotlight by either interrupting, or otherwise talking louder then anyone else to get the DM's attention) -Complains and Whines when he does not get his way, even when rolling. ...The LIST GOES ON! Now in a normal situation he probably would have been gone about three months ago, but two of the players do not really care about the actual RP itself and the DM is really good friends with the guy. I will be blatantly honest, I am not the greatest RPer.You may even say that I am the follower of the group. Though I try to make myself a better RPer during the game, every single time I try and discuss something with an NPC, even if it not important at all, I am constantly interrupted by the problem player.(Even when the character is not there) ex) We are in a small town with a wizard's tower and an enchantress coming to town. To make a long story short by I was at the Enchanter's residence and the problem player was somehow able to go to the Wizard's & Mayor's Residence, RP with them and steal my idea for a certain custom item, before I was even able to say a thing in character... To top it all off noone ignores the Problem Player and I am still labeled the follower, my attempts to RP forgotten in the swirls of commotion coming from the Problem Player. Now I like the group that I am playing with now, even the Problem Player on minimal occasions, but I am stuck in a continuous boring cycle, every week.This problem is causing me to become bored with going back every week, though I love the game itself. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, and thank you for reading my rant/ plea for help.
#2 nexvesica Aug 18, 2008 17:41:42	Had a similar problem before with my last session I dmed...talked to the player in question about it, gave him a second chance, after that, I spoke to all the other players and we decided to just end that campaign to spare his feelings and not play with him again. Since you're the only one who has a problem with the guy...*shrugs* best thing you can do is just leave, I mean, if you're not having fun...what's the point? All you're going to be doing is making yourself bored. Maybe try writing a campaign of your own and dming without the problem player? Or, if you haven't yet, just talk to the problem player/the rest of the group.
#3 playable_character Aug 18, 2008 18:37:14	Had a similar problem before with my last session I dmed...talked to the player in question about it, gave him a second chance, after that, I spoke to all the other players and we decided to just end that campaign to spare his feelings and not play with him again. Since you're the only one who has a problem with the guy...*shrugs* best thing you can do is just leave, I mean, if you're not having fun...what's the point? All you're going to be doing is making yourself bored. Maybe try writing a campaign of your own and dming without the problem player? Or, if you haven't yet, just talk to the problem player/the rest of the group. Thanks for the quick response! I definitely will need to consider all the options. We have had trouble with the actual campaigns in the group. If I can remember correctly in the last five months we have been through 3 campaigns, with out a hint of conclusion in sight. I had offered to DM the next campaign which everyone decided to let me try...except for the problem player. The player put up a fit about how I am inexperienced and it is now undecided where we are going next, having only three weeks before we finish this campaign. I have talked to both him and the rest of the group about my frustrations quite a few times before, and I believe the rest of the group may be seeing at least a bit of what I see.
#4 Man_in_the_Funny_Hat Aug 18, 2008 20:04:41	First thing you need to do is talk to the DM and tell him exactly what you just said. You HAVE to because nobody has ESP. If you are not enjoying the game for any reason you can't expect ANYTHING to change unless you make it known that there is a problem. For all you know other players DO feel the same way as you. The DM might even feel the same way but has been hestitant to say anything to his friend because... nobody is complaining. If the DM can't or won't do something then you have to bite the bullet and talk to the problem player yourself. It's really the DM's job to do that but you have to if he doesn't. If that produces no results then you speak with the rest of the players and see if group pressure will do it. If that fails (or the other players disagree with you that the player in question is a problem) then you have two choices - you tolerate it or POLITELY bow out. You don't need to write scathing emails or storm out in a huff, you just say, "I'd love to continue to play, but... he and I just aren't going to be able to be at the same table if he plays that way. By all means let me know if the situation changes."
#5 kuonji Aug 19, 2008 1:38:51	I had offered to DM the next campaign which everyone decided to let me try...except for the problem player. The player put up a fit about how I am inexperienced and it is now undecided where we are going next, having only three weeks before we finish this campaign. You might instead simply state that you will be running a game once the current one ends. Let your buddies know they are welcome to play and ask them to be patient with your inexperience. If you must, point out that you aren't going get more experienced at running games by not running them. Recruit new players if you have to fill out a group for your game. If "problem player" joins your game, don't bring your baggage about him to your new game. If you feel he is causing problems, be polite but firm with him. If the two of you can't resolve your differences, ask him to leave and try to be cordial about the situation; irreconcilable differences and all that. Again, I stress the importance of not setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy in letting your current dislike affect your new game and thus setting him up to be tossed out; give the guy a fair chance if he wants to play.
#6 black_kitten Aug 19, 2008 2:00:10	I had offered to DM the next campaign which everyone decided to let me try...except for the problem player. The player put up a fit about how I am inexperienced and it is now undecided where we are going next, having only three weeks before we finish this campaign. Perhaps you should point out that everyone starts as an inexperienced DM? I don't think I have encountered anyone who was an experienced DM from the start. Quite frankly, I would not put up with a player having a fit about something, both as DM and player in my group (though I should note I'm a rather dominant force in my group, as I keep it running). I would tell the player to go outside/to the corridor and try to cool down before they return and explain what the problem is. Talking to someone who is angry about a game is simply not going to work. Part of the problem, as I see it, is that your DM allowed it to start and continue. I have a very friendly, equally minded group and even I have learned that I need to give turns talking when more people want to say something. I would quite simply tell such a player to wait for his turn. You will notice that that will not be considered 'bossy', but easy and practical. If you want to DM, you should consider whether you can shut the Problem Player up as DM at the moment that you want to do or say something, or when a different player is talking. I could imagine that the player has a problem with that as well. Another solution could be to allow for a special 'feedback moment', at the END of each session. You quite 5 minutes sooner and everyone who wants to can bring something forward what they like/dislike. This is the ONLY moment when players can freely whine about whatever they want. So if the problem player thinks you play your class like a 4-year old and you should just leave him to do everything, THAT will be the moment to talk about it. Not during the session. With that agreement, you can shut him up with the words: "Steve, after the session, not while we're playing."
#7 dragonsblood Aug 19, 2008 6:15:30	Call him on it. Whenever he interrupts you, tell him you're talking; ESPECIALLY if his character isn't there with you. A common (but minor) problem with my group is people talking when they're dead/unconscious/asleep. And when this happens all I (or whoever) has to say is, "you're dead, you can't talk" or "...says the disembodied voice" with a humorous tone; everyone laughs, the interrupter quiets down, and the game moves on.
#8 methanegranola Aug 19, 2008 9:38:02	i have found that this works in my groups, when a player gets on my nerves, they fade from sight, they dont stop beging my friends usually, but they never play dnd with me again, this has worked with 2 people who still think i just am never in the mood for dnd anymore next time you play, dont call him, do that a couple of times and when he gets back see if you can tolerate him if that doesnt work tell him to shut up, if that doesnt work, tell everyone to tell him to shut up, if everyone telling him to shut up doesnt make him, then ignore him... let him talk, everyone can get headsets to hear each other but drown him out at the same time... a maybe a sytems of tubes that everyone can talk into except for him, if you can rig has anyone ever heard of the talking stick? has that ever worked with anyone ever? when you want to talk you have to get the stick or else no one hears you
#9 hazimel Aug 19, 2008 15:26:45	This is a sticky situation for sure. It is your DM's responsibility to run the game and make sure all players get a turn to act, even outside of combat. So, I would second the idea of talking with your DM about the problem. A DM who lets one player hog the ball and talk over others is NOT doing a good job. Running your own game is a great idea. You have to start some time. =) It can be a really fun experience to get behind the screen. Your experience as a player can help make you a better DM. Make sure you are well prepared for your game and focus on providing a good time for your players and yourself. Don't take any lip from your problem player friend. He's a social bully, in my opinion. If he tries to ruin your games, you should tell him in the clearest terms that if he's not going to be a team player, he should find another group. If no one else will help you in your quest for a more balanced game where everyone gets to participate, it may be time to find another group. That can be rough, but it's worth a try.
#10 zaydrache Aug 19, 2008 16:25:51	i have found that this works in my groups, when a player gets on my nerves, they fade from sight, they dont stop beging my friends usually, but they never play dnd with me again, this has worked with 2 people who still think i just am never in the mood for dnd anymore next time you play, dont call him, do that a couple of times and when he gets back see if you can tolerate him if that doesnt work tell him to shut up, if that doesnt work, tell everyone to tell him to shut up, if everyone telling him to shut up doesnt make him, then ignore him... let him talk, everyone can get headsets to hear each other but drown him out at the same time... a maybe a sytems of tubes that everyone can talk into except for him, if you can rig has anyone ever heard of the talking stick? has that ever worked with anyone ever? when you want to talk you have to get the stick or else no one hears you I use the talking stick in my group of 4, 15 year old girl campaign. It goes like this they talk while I have the stick I hit them with it. Tends to work quite nicely. jk In all seriousness an effective turn order even during noncombat situations would resolve a good amount of the problem. Just make sure the problem player knows that when it’s not his turn he cannot act or speak in the situation. This would at least make sure everyone can get a chance to act during situations. Really this is something you need to work with the DM on or run like you are planning too. Just make sure if he does play start the process of training him the correct way to act so next time you are not running the game he will be a better gamer to play with. Good Luck.
#11 dirk_radhammer_dup Aug 22, 2008 7:35:32	I am currently in quite the predicament in my weekly RP group. The PROBLEM PLAYER... -is a meta-gamer -can not stop bragging about anything and everything. -Puts down the other members for any faults they did/have. -Has to be the Leader//be the one who talks. -Does not take any faults of his own. -Needs to be the center of attention (Whenever anyone does anything at all he always tries to steal the spotlight by either interrupting, or otherwise talking louder then anyone else to get the DM's attention) -Complains and Whines when he does not get his way, even when rolling. ...The LIST GOES ON! Now in a normal situation he probably would have been gone about three months ago, but two of the players do not really care about the actual RP itself and the DM is really good friends with the guy. I will be blatantly honest, I am not the greatest RPer.You may even say that I am the follower of the group. Though I try to make myself a better RPer during the game, every single time I try and discuss something with an NPC, even if it not important at all, I am constantly interrupted by the problem player.(Even when the character is not there) ex) We are in a small town with a wizard's tower and an enchantress coming to town. To make a long story short by I was at the Enchanter's residence and the problem player was somehow able to go to the Wizard's & Mayor's Residence, RP with them and steal my idea for a certain custom item, before I was even able to say a thing in character... To top it all off noone ignores the Problem Player and I am still labeled the follower, my attempts to RP forgotten in the swirls of commotion coming from the Problem Player. Now I like the group that I am playing with now, even the Problem Player on minimal occasions, but I am stuck in a continuous boring cycle, every week.This problem is causing me to become bored with going back every week, though I love the game itself. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, and thank you for reading my rant/ plea for help. Kill his character.
#12 the_ragi Aug 22, 2008 12:08:57	Keep slamming the table with the palm of your hand and yelling "Can I speak" louder and louder until he shuts up. The only way to let him know you're annoyed is telling him, obnoxious people are usually oblivious as well.
#13 dmparagon Aug 22, 2008 16:23:12	every player, and DM have thier faults. However, there is a line in what's exceptable. I would simply remove the player and have someone else join the group, or just have a smaller group by one. It gets to a point when ever just correcting the players issues take too much time away from the group. Find the line, and stick by it.
#14 thazerdedelmarcus Aug 22, 2008 16:58:26	I am currently in quite the predicament in my weekly RP group. The PROBLEM PLAYER... -is a meta-gamer -can not stop bragging about anything and everything. -Puts down the other members for any faults they did/have. -Has to be the Leader//be the one who talks. -Does not take any faults of his own. -Needs to be the center of attention (Whenever anyone does anything at all he always tries to steal the spotlight by either interrupting, or otherwise talking louder then anyone else to get the DM's attention) -Complains and Whines when he does not get his way, even when rolling. ...The LIST GOES ON! Now in a normal situation he probably would have been gone about three months ago, but two of the players do not really care about the actual RP itself and the DM is really good friends with the guy. I will be blatantly honest, I am not the greatest RPer.You may even say that I am the follower of the group. Though I try to make myself a better RPer during the game, every single time I try and discuss something with an NPC, even if it not important at all, I am constantly interrupted by the problem player.(Even when the character is not there) ex) We are in a small town with a wizard's tower and an enchantress coming to town. To make a long story short by I was at the Enchanter's residence and the problem player was somehow able to go to the Wizard's & Mayor's Residence, RP with them and steal my idea for a certain custom item, before I was even able to say a thing in character... To top it all off noone ignores the Problem Player and I am still labeled the follower, my attempts to RP forgotten in the swirls of commotion coming from the Problem Player. Now I like the group that I am playing with now, even the Problem Player on minimal occasions, but I am stuck in a continuous boring cycle, every week.This problem is causing me to become bored with going back every week, though I love the game itself. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, and thank you for reading my rant/ plea for help. as for as the leadership thing goes, that is really up to the rest of the people in the party. If no one else wants to be the party leader than let him. In a group I was in we had around 4-5 people. My character could have been the party leader but I have no desire to have him in the leadership role. If the DM is really good friends with him you might have problems convincing him that his friend is a problem player. But I would talk to him and explain your view points and concerns. We play Dungeons and Dragons to have fun. If your DM won't do anything about your problem next game session while you camp coup de grace his character, leave the game either join another group or see about starting your own group/
#15 Man_in_the_Funny_Hat Aug 23, 2008 11:13:16	If the DM is really good friends with him you might have problems convincing him that his friend is a problem player. But I would talk to him and explain your view points and concerns. We play Dungeons and Dragons to have fun. All good up to this point. If your DM won't do anything about your problem next game session while you camp coup de grace his character, leave the game either join another group or see about starting your own group. But this is not. It doesn't matter how obnoxious the player in question is, there's no justification for lowering yourself BELOW his level and acting out of pettiness and spite to kill his character. If you want to leave the game LEAVE. If you want to explain WHY you're leaving then by all means do so, but don't act like an ASS yourself in going.
#16 thazerdedelmarcus Aug 23, 2008 21:21:38	All good up to this point. But this is not. It doesn't matter how obnoxious the player in question is, there's no justification for lowering yourself BELOW his level and acting out of pettiness and spite to kill his character. If you want to leave the game LEAVE. If you want to explain WHY you're leaving then by all means do so, but don't act like an ASS yourself in going. OP did not list his character's alignment, but having him kill the other player was just one of my suggestions
#17 etarnon Aug 24, 2008 20:12:53	Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder to find potential insight to your problems. The solution is simple, though. Don't game with this guy. He's not going to change.
#18 shinydice Aug 25, 2008 10:20:30	I too think that you should talk with the DM, see if he agrees. If he doesn't then you might end up alienating people with what I think the follow up should be. When he next talks over your character, you should say something to the effect of "OMG! Will you please just let me roleplay my character!" Try not to swear because it will make your request less reasonable. Maybe thump your fist on the table at the same time but make it clear that you are fed up. I have had to deal with this myself. When I asked the DM about it, despite being my best friend, he told me that it was something that I would have to deal with myself because I was the one having the problem. That annoyed me quite a bit but in the end the only way this person was going to get the idea was if it was brought up with others around. Sometimes it is good to SHOW people how you feel rather than just state it. Point out to the group that the only way you will learn to DM well is if they let you practice, even if just for a couple of months at first. Anyway, I hope things go well.
#19 lord_steel2025 Aug 26, 2008 1:35:56	Jokingly call him a spotlight ***** in your next game. If ***** is not a word you use alot the point will hit him and he might even get abit defensive about it but the fact you jokingly said it should let you shrug any indignation from him off without hurt feelings and unless he really pushes it it should not effect the game. If he really pushes just joking back peddle. Something like "Sorry did not mean to offend, I take it back." should work. No one likes to get criticized and unless he is really dense he will know your half joking. He might try and fix this false accusation from you in game... and thats really what you want right?