S.O.P actions ( Standard. Operating. Procedures ) Ie holding one breath when that char enters a room . Your chr diping your unicorns horn ring in every glass you drink from. All the small little actions that a player forgets to announce and the DM punishes them for.
Lets put our collective heads together and come up with as many as we can .
To start us off .
1. Holding one breath when that char enters a room.
2. Diping your unicorns horn ring in every glass you drink from.
3. Having one hand on the hilt of your sword.
4. When talking to a Npc Every 10 seconds touch a conceled colar throwing knife.
I will never punish players because they didn't do something obvious. Likewise, I had a character of mine take damage from cracking her head against a beam in a dark hallway... twice. When I asked why? The DM's response was "well, you didn't ask if there was a beam, and you didn't say you duck." I left the game right there.
I assume that the PCs are, y'know, professionals. I assume they know the basics of how to not be a moron and the basics of staying alive. I will never assume that a PC can't get to his sword simply because the player didn't specifically say he had his hand on it, or that he automatically suffocates or drowns because he didn't say he was holding his breath, and I pity any DM who does.
That said, back in the 3.5 days, my players had developed a joking "ISO Standard" post-op routine that went something like this:
"Sweep the room for everything not nailed down. Elf or Dwarf checks for trap doors, Rogue checks for leftover traps, bandaid wand gets passed around. The Mage pops DetMag. Everything that lights up gets tossed in the quarantine bag for later ID, the rest of it gets split between the party. Anything not immediately useful gets Haversack'd for sale later. 2cp on the eyes of anything that didn't dissolve when it died, then stack up and prepare to breach the next door."
I assume that the PCs are, y'know, professionals. I assume they know the basics of how to not be a moron and the basics of staying alive. I will never assume that a PC can't get to his sword simply because the player didn't specifically say he had his hand on it, or that he automatically suffocates or drowns because he didn't say he was holding his breath, and I pity any DM who does.
That said, back in the 3.5 days, my players had developed a joking "ISO Standard" post-op routine that went something like this:
"Sweep the room for everything not nailed down. Elf or Dwarf checks for trap doors, Rogue checks for leftover traps, bandaid wand gets passed around. The Mage pops DetMag. Everything that lights up gets tossed in the quarantine bag for later ID, the rest of it gets split between the party. Anything not immediately useful gets Haversack'd for sale later. 2cp on the eyes of anything that didn't dissolve when it died, then stack up and prepare to breach the next door."
This is pretty close to my thoughts and 3.5 ISO
Mmm... the biggest one I think is having a weapon drawn at all times. I could understand armor being worn all the time, but when walking through the marketplace with the intent of buying food, would you really be holding onto the greatbow at all times? There's a reason Quick Draw is a feat.
The other side:
I'm certainly not carrying my 2000 GP in a sack tied to my waist. So having a pickpocket nick off with that much is insulting. I carry, at most, 20GP in a small bag hidden inside my cleavage within my armor. 2000 gold is a lot: it makes loud noises, fills a very large bag, and any sensible adventurer knows this.
On one side:
Mmm... the biggest one I think is having a weapon drawn at all times. I could understand armor being worn all the time, but when walking through the marketplace with the intent of buying food, would you really be holding onto the greatbow at all times? There's a reason Quick Draw is a feat.
The other side:
I'm certainly not carrying my 2000 GP in a sack tied to my waist. So having a pickpocket nick off with that much is insulting. I carry, at most, 20GP in a small bag hidden inside my cleavage within my armor. 2000 gold is a lot: it makes loud noises, fills a very large bag, and any sensible adventurer knows this.
2000gp weighs a tad more than 20gp. At the earliest convenience, I will trade up to platinum/gems or invest it in some manner.
Likewise, I had a character of mine take damage from cracking her head against a beam in a dark hallway... twice. When I asked why? The DM's response was "well, you didn't ask if there was a beam, and you didn't say you duck." I left the game right there.
Please tell me you're making this up.
On one side:
Mmm... the biggest one I think is having a weapon drawn at all times. I could understand armor being worn all the time, but when walking through the marketplace with the intent of buying food, would you really be holding onto the greatbow at all times? There's a reason Quick Draw is a feat.
The other side:
I'm certainly not carrying my 2000 GP in a sack tied to my waist. So having a pickpocket nick off with that much is insulting. I carry, at most, 20GP in a small bag hidden inside my cleavage within my armor. 2000 gold is a lot: it makes loud noises, fills a very large bag, and any sensible adventurer knows this.
2000gp weighs a tad more than 20gp. At the earliest convenience, I will trade up to platinum/gems or invest it in some manner.
ha, true. But when one is the designated treasure-carrier, and we just returned from a tomb that had a lot of gold coins scattered around, it's a tad difficult when the shopping trip was considered more important than the bank exchange.
Likewise, I had a character of mine take damage from cracking her head against a beam in a dark hallway... twice. When I asked why? The DM's response was "well, you didn't ask if there was a beam, and you didn't say you duck." I left the game right there.
Please tell me you're making this up.
Tragically, no. 1d8 per hit, no less. On the upshot, that was the last I or anyone else at that store saw of that DM.
Guys it's less about ultra vindictive DMs and more about all the small things that the players always does , via the SoP actions . Smart quirky actions that your chr. does that gives them a small advantage over the dungeon not just the DM .
I don't know if anything any of my groups do could rightfully be considered "automatic" actions. We do have certain habits of conduct, of course -spells we cast every morning, or a default marching order- but I'm not certain I can think of anything that quite jives with what you seem to be looking for.
Holding your breath when you enter a room isn't "smart" or "quirky" ....it's OCD. Like, seriously. That sort of routine, ritual actions that a person always performs whenever they are doing something is pretty much the definition of OCD.
I think it pretty much is about a vindictive DM. Either that, or a DM with an NPC in the game that's got a very, very serious problem with the PCs and is literally willing to go very far out of his way to try to get them.
On a related note I have a S.O.P. for my current character, a crusader/master of nine, where as I always ready the same maneuvers every day, and only change them when gaining a new maneuver when I gain a level.
Next campaign I'm playing a Sorcerer which makes me use S.O.P. by default.
The 'holding your breath whenever you enter a room' quirk, for example, sounds like a DM who is in love with poison gas rooms. Either the PCs have encountered so many of them that they know EVERY dungeon has one, or it's something the DM uses a lot.
I have observed this once. One game, in each of the first four rooms of a complex we entered, some monster leapt on the first person to enter the room. The fifth time, we sent the guy with the spear in who said 'I step into the room and plant the butt of my spear against the ground'. The DM then accused the player of reading his notes because 'there was no way he could have known'.
Usually, those little 'quirks' occur because a particular DM falls in love with a particular bit. Either the characters have encountered it so often that it becomes a quirk of the world, or the players have played under the same DM so long that they're trying to tell him 'we're sick of that'.
The 'holding your breath whenever you enter a room' quirk, for example, sounds like a DM who is in love with poison gas rooms. Either the PCs have encountered so many of them that they know EVERY dungeon has one, or it's something the DM uses a lot.I have observed this once. One game, in each of the first four rooms of a complex we entered, some monster leapt on the first person to enter the room. The fifth time, we sent the guy with the spear in who said 'I step into the room and plant the butt of my spear against the ground'. The DM then accused the player of reading his notes because 'there was no way he could have known'.
+1 Pretty much how I feel.
My current foray into 4e involved about half our encounters until level 3 being ambushes. It got old. Really, really fast.
Lets put our collective heads together and come up with as many as we can .
Ok, try this for a day: Every time you talk to a person, make sure you have a coin handy. Every time you speak hold the coin in your left hand, every time somebody else speaks hold the coin in your right hand. See how many times you forget to perform that particular s.o.p. during the day, or don't do it at all because it simply wouldn't be appropriate.
The fact of the matter is that keeping this sort of behavior up requires a singular concentration, or simply an obsessive-compulsive disorder. To the casual observer this will seem both disconcerting and unsettling.
-DF
The fact of the matter is that keeping this sort of behavior up requires a singular concentration, or simply an obsessive-compulsive disorder. To the casual observer this will seem both disconcerting and unsettling.
On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to become so proficient with an action that it requires no conscious thought. You don't have to think about shifting gears, for example; you just know when to and do it. Likewise, ask a musician if they have to think about how to play a specific note -only the most rookie ones will say yes.
Some of the "automatic" actions we take are so everyday that it's no surprise that they're essentially unconscious, but anything can be trained to that level, given time and effort.
Talk to anyone who is friends with a cop or a soldier and they will tell you about little habits they have as a result of training even when off duty.
It's true. I still pop to parade rest when a particularly high-up supervisor addresses me about something important, instinctively. However, that's a result of several....levels...of training, and I still occasionally get weird looks for doing it (mainly because I no longer look anything remotely resembling a soldier).
Always delay so that all PCs' turns occur sequentially (at least try to by turn 2, sometimes First Strike can make a big difference).
Take EVERY weapon off every corpse, container, casket, and crawlspace. You never know when you might need it, or when there might be enemies who haven't grabbed their weapons yet.
NEVER walk into the center of a room without having performed some perception/dungeoneering checks.
Never tell your DM you've come up with a list of SOPs. He/she'll feel betrayed and/or conspire against you using tiny loopholes in your SOPs.
Always laugh at the DM's jokes (just in case).
Make very exhaustive and specific accounts of all treasure.
- If capable, sneak. Everywhere, everytime.
- Always expect an ambush.
- Always actively look for secret doors. The passive option is for lazy DMs.
- Always check for traps. No matter how long it takes, none lifts a foot until the thief has cleared it.
- When encountering skeletons, switch to a blunt weapon.
- Always carry a quiver of arrows, the archer might run out.
- Never move further away than the range of the healers default heal.
- When swimming, take off metal armor and replace by leather from backpack. Some AC is better than no AC. Same for climbing.
- If it isn't nailed down, put it in the portable hole/bag of holding. If it is nailed down, remove nails first.
- Take everything, including corpses and liquids in a seperate portable hole. You might need biological weapons at some point.
- When in doubt, attack. Plot hocks have a habbit of respawning.
- Always carry two 10 foot poles, some traps take the one into account.
- Never hide in the same place as an NPC. They often have antics towards heroics and they will believe you can turn the tide.
- Never eat or drink anything without an NPC tasting it beforehand.
- When the lord/king/boss seems like a nice guy, he is wating for his trap to spring. Act accordingly.
- When an NPC says "I'm sure heroes like you can handle it", you are in for at least one ambush, one plot-twist where a friend turns hostile and no less than 3 monsters above your level. Politely refuse the job and wait for the next old man with an aura of mystery.
- When an NPC speaks of "dire importance" he means him, not you. You can always planeshift until things blow over.
- Healing magic is for players. NPCs respawn as needed.
- Ressurection magic will only be used if the combined value of a dead character's current Magic Items and his potentially new characters magic items do not exceed the current magic item value plus ressurection costs.
- The word friend is reserved for players. NPCs are allies at best.
- Every character carries at least five light sources with him. One normal, one alchemical and three magical.
- If a monster has no visible treasure, you have walked into an ambush. Weapons at the ready till the shinys are found and safely in your bags.
- When using a new magic weapon, always tend to it after combat. Cleaning, sharpening and caressing. It could be intelligent.
- The Belt of Many Pockets is not an option, its a requirement. (3.5)
- Tactical "Toilet Breaks" are a perfectly valid method of gaining time to think and reorganize.
- When the DM starts rolling dice while you travel and you are attacked shortily after, conserve your resources. He has not prepared an adventure and you will face multiple random encounters until he figures one out.
- The rules say you can only hit with x arrows per attack. There is nothing in the rules about adding a few more. They may not hit but their burning arrowheads will ignite the goblin village just fine.
- Attach at least one bell/ magic mouth to every contained that you cannot afford to lose. Even ambush encounters are winable. Lost equipment is gone and will be missed.
There are more but I am running out of time. Hope I made someone laugh.
It's worth noting that if the characters have been put through the same rough lesson a few times, then it's totally appropriate RP to say that they become OCD about whatever it is.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that, as a group of people, unsupported by any kind of army or logistical infrastructure, often come together by chance circumstance from varied and not-occasionally questionable backgrounds and with vagrant, wandering lifestyles and often no permanent home and no possessions beyond what they carry with them making a living in a world full of man-eating, often sentient and sapient monsters with the capability to raze entire towns by actively seeking out and attacking those monsters in order to loot them of usable equipment and body parts or to do the same to the ancient, beyond-the-ken-of-mortal-minds sites that the monsters often occupy and utilize, only to take their spoils and use them to do it all over again are not well-adjusted people to begin with.
Given that, I'm surprised OCD and other mental instabilities aren't far, far more common among adventuring sorts to begin with.
...and one of these days I'm going to run a campaign that highlights exactly this.
It's worth noting that if the characters have been put through the same rough lesson a few times, then it's totally appropriate RP to say that they become OCD about whatever it is.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that, as a group of people, unsupported by any kind of army or logistical infrastructure, often come together by chance circumstance from varied and not-occasionally questionable backgrounds and with vagrant, wandering lifestyles and often no permanent home and no possessions beyond what they carry with them making a living in a world full of man-eating, often sentient and sapient monsters with the capability to raze entire towns by actively seeking out and attacking those monsters in order to loot them of usable equipment and body parts or to do the same to the ancient, beyond-the-ken-of-mortal-minds sites that the monsters often occupy and utilize, only to take their spoils and use them to do it all over again are not well-adjusted people to begin with.
Given that, I'm surprised OCD and other mental instabilities aren't far, far more common among adventuring sorts to begin with.
...and one of these days I'm going to run a campaign that highlights exactly this.
There are game systems that deals with insanities like this. Try to pick one up, it will probobly give you some tips.
Given that, I'm surprised OCD and other mental instabilities aren't far, far more common among adventuring sorts to begin with.
Mental issues are rampant in the field, though they often go unnoticed or underreported.
Anger issues, below average mental performance (or super-above average mental performance accompanied by a complete lack of interpersonal skills), a tendency to approach all obstacles with violence, paranoia, kleptomania, mood swings, compulsive hoarding, sociopathy, excessive risk-taking, hearing voices in one's head and/or perception of talking animals, glossolalia, repeated black-outs, reliance on chemical substances to "help get through the day," perception of the self as a "prophet" or otherwise wielding "divine forces," chronic tiredness (staying active only 4-6 hours a day), belief of invincibility/no negative consequences, seeing ghosts...
There are game systems that deals with insanities like this. Try to pick one up, it will probobly give you some tips.
Oh, I know. I have copies of Call of Cthulhu (WEG version) and Paranoia XP on my shelf, among other things. That isn't my point, though: my point was the campaign was going to have everyone else react to the characters as though they were all deranged psychopaths, but with the PCs simply acting themselves with none of the rules baggage or player-knowledge of it to get in the way. It's much funnier to let the characters dig their own proverbial graves by getting suspicious of why everyone in the entire town is very, very nervous when interacting with them. In most campaigns, that's a sure sign of cult activity or something similar, and will (of course) make the PCs suspicious of what's going on... what's going on is that the townsfolk don't want to antagonize, intentionally or unintentionally, the armed-to-the-teeth adventuring team that could turn the entire place into a charnel house without breaking a sweat.
It's much more amusing, and I think more fitting if the PCs (and players) don't know they're the crazy ones.
@Kouk: Also, those aren't derangements, you silly News Guide, they're job skills.
Anyways, there's a difference between tactical SOP and social SOP. No-one is going to question routine caution when dealing with exploring dangerous underground lairs. These are environs with high threat levels.
The same behavior is going to attract attention of the wrong kind in a social setting like the king's court or simply the village market place.
However, if you want a suitable mechanic for SOP's here's what I'll allow (as the GM) at my table: If you can recite the exact text of your SOP from memory then I'll allow for appropriate tap-backs.
Be careful, though. In a way SOPs means surrendering part of your character's free will. He may end up performing these actions even when they are to his detriment simply because the stipulated conditions apply.
Given that, I'm surprised OCD and other mental instabilities aren't far, far more common among adventuring sorts to begin with.
...and one of these days I'm going to run a campaign that highlights exactly this.
Touche salesman.
Seriously though, this is something I never quite understand about this genre. People are always on the lookout for "adventurers" with whom to trust all those tasks that nobody else in the village is quite prepared/brave/skilled/crazy enough to attempt.
Can you imagine a world in which this is the case? Every time a person goes missing, your town gets attacked, someone is brutally murdered in their home, a terrifying black cloud of evil appears on the horizon...you entrust dealing with this to the first pack of random heavily armed strangers that appears on your doorstep. Heavily armed strangers that will not deal with this task without promise of recompense...
Every time a person goes missing, your town gets attacked, someone is brutally murdered in their home, a terrifying black cloud of evil appears on the horizon...you entrust dealing with this to the first pack of random heavily armed strangers that appears on your doorstep. Heavily armed strangers that will not deal with this task without promise of recompense...
Well, depending on the town, it may be more cost effective to resolve problems that way than to pay for a permanent top-class town guard or town wizard...
Given that, I'm surprised OCD and other mental instabilities aren't far, far more common among adventuring sorts to begin with.
...and one of these days I'm going to run a campaign that highlights exactly this.
Touche salesman.
Seriously though, this is something I never quite understand about this genre. People are always on the lookout for "adventurers" with whom to trust all those tasks that nobody else in the village is quite prepared/brave/skilled/crazy enough to attempt.
Can you imagine a world in which this is the case? Every time a person goes missing, your town gets attacked, someone is brutally murdered in their home, a terrifying black cloud of evil appears on the horizon...you entrust dealing with this to the first pack of random heavily armed strangers that appears on your doorstep. Heavily armed strangers that will not deal with this task without promise of recompense...
... and if you can find them, you might be able to hire ... THE A-TEAM.
Given that, I'm surprised OCD and other mental instabilities aren't far, far more common among adventuring sorts to begin with.
...and one of these days I'm going to run a campaign that highlights exactly this.
Touche salesman.
Seriously though, this is something I never quite understand about this genre. People are always on the lookout for "adventurers" with whom to trust all those tasks that nobody else in the village is quite prepared/brave/skilled/crazy enough to attempt.
Can you imagine a world in which this is the case? Every time a person goes missing, your town gets attacked, someone is brutally murdered in their home, a terrifying black cloud of evil appears on the horizon...you entrust dealing with this to the first pack of random heavily armed strangers that appears on your doorstep. Heavily armed strangers that will not deal with this task without promise of recompense...
... and if you can find them, you might be able to hire ... THE A-TEAM.
Plus all adventures have a trust worthy looking face , and don't forget you sending the pack of heavly armed crazys away . I think that's the main thing that the violent loones are leaving your LOS .
I had a few standard operating procedures that rarely ever worked out in my favor, but when I did it was wonderous fun.
1) Collect all cursed items and carry them as a bundle. In combat, drop them in conspicuous places and use disarm until the enemy picks up one of the cursed items.
2) If something is inanimate, poisoned, and cabaple of being moved, take it with me. If possible, throw it at the first enemy I see. If unthrowable, place it so the enemy must move it.
3) Do not walk through doorways. Become a warlock, learn Flee the Scene, and dimension door to the other side of the room.
3a) Addendum: Do not backtrack out of the dungeon. Dimension door straight up until you reach the surface. Repeat as necessary.
I'll be playing an old gypsy crone in an upcoming game. I think I'll incorporate some of these 'traits' into her character.
I had a few standard operating procedures that rarely ever worked out in my favor, but when I did it was wonderous fun.
1) Collect all cursed items and carry them as a bundle. In combat, drop them in conspicuous places and use disarm until the enemy picks up one of the cursed items.
2) If something is inanimate, poisoned, and cabaple of being moved, take it with me. If possible, throw it at the first enemy I see. If unthrowable, place it so the enemy must move it.
3) Do not walk through doorways. Become a warlock, learn Flee the Scene, and dimension door to the other side of the room.
3a) Addendum: Do not backtrack out of the dungeon. Dimension door straight up until you reach the surface. Repeat as necessary.
I sense a problem with your 3a. Unless you have some sort of beacon that you can use to gauge the exact distance to the upper/lower floor, you could find yourself DDing right into a wall.
Usually, those little 'quirks' occur because a particular DM falls in love with a particular bit. Either the characters have encountered it so often that it becomes a quirk of the world, or the players have played under the same DM so long that they're trying to tell him 'we're sick of that'.
The 'holding your breath whenever you enter a room' quirk, for example, sounds like a DM who is in love with poison gas rooms. Either the PCs have encountered so many of them that they know EVERY dungeon has one, or it's something the DM uses a lot.
I have observed this once. One game, in each of the first four rooms of a complex we entered, some monster leapt on the first person to enter the room. The fifth time, we sent the guy with the spear in who said 'I step into the room and plant the butt of my spear against the ground'. The DM then accused the player of reading his notes because 'there was no way he could have known'.
I once did this to a group of inexpereinced players, I had the door ajar with a bucket of cold water on it, they opened it, got wet. I repeated this the next door and they fell for it again, they started checking the other doors and for the next 3 there were buckets, on the sixth door the one player walked in looking up for the bucket and fell headlong into the pit of alligators....
Becareful of letting SOP becoming a weakness, if they become to repetitive and repeated they become too rigid and worse very exploitable.
Directly inspired from The knights of the Dinner table comics -
S.O.P actions ( Standard. Operating. Procedures ) Ie holding one breath when that char enters a room . Your chr diping your unicorns horn ring in every glass you drink from. All the small little actions that a player forgets to announce and the DM punishes them for.
Lets put our collective heads together and come up with as many as we can .
To start us off .
1. Holding one breath when that char enters a room.
2. Diping your unicorns horn ring in every glass you drink from.
3. Having one hand on the hilt of your sword.
4. When talking to a Npc Every 10 seconds touch a conceled colar throwing knife.
When I play an idiot Int PC I expect him to be stupid in most ways, and when my PC has the IQ of a super genius I also expect him to be treated as such.
I only play smart DMs though. DMs that come up with stupid rulings/proceedures needs won't see me at the table a second time.
If I drop my +x bow that does laundry list of great things to draw my super sword, after the battle, I am not going to tell you I pick it up, and telling me because I never said I did, and thus don't possess it is just going to be ignored. Any DM forcing that example for instance would be informed he, and his game are expendable wastes of valuable daylight.