so
get posting !
It got to the point where the DM said that the only books we were allowed to get stuff from were books made by WotC, Mongoose, and Malhavoc press.
This is the player who gets every new supplement he can find and tries to incorporate it into his next character. Tends to play things that don't fit into the campaign at all, just so he can use his new shiny books. Will bring OA handbook to a Greyhawk game, or a non-WotC Drow sourcebook to a low-level core only game and ask why he can't use it. Also tends to want to change characters often.
4. Why are you guys so
?You all know this guy. He's the one who gets himself and the party in trouble, and can't understand why the other characters and/or players are upset with him. His usual excuse, every time is 'I was playing in character' but he doesn't understand that the other players are upset with him 'in character' as well.
5. The Metagamer
The guy who rattles off stats for monsters as soon as the DM gives a description, says things like "Come on guys we can take it, it only has AC 17!" or "watch out, that extremely obscure devil/demon/dragon/etc is weak to only +2 vorpal sporks, we better just avoid it completely" and gets into vehement disagreements with the DM when the DM goes out of his way to change things to counteract him.
6. I didn't say/do that!
This is the one who does something or says something (usually to a major NPC like a king or mighty wizard or whatnot) which is completely stupid. When he starts facing consequences, he argues that he never in fact did/said what the rest of the group and the DM think he did/said, and that they are in fact delusional.
This is actually two people who always, no mater what game, are butt brothers. They always says and do and mimic each other. These guys will make similar and or complementary characters and will always be the best of friends in game.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
Regardless of other co-ordination issues, the Dice Ninja is incapable of throwing a die onto the correct flat surface. His (or her, although only male specimens have been attested) rolls go on the floor. Onto the miniature mat. Into the cornchips/fireplace/cat. Anywhere but on the table within three feet of him.
#10: Dice Con Artist
Can go an entire campaign without either rolling below 14 or rolling within sight of an other person. Frequently asks for the DC of a roll before rolling.
#11: Carbon Copier
Has a favorite class/race/alignment, and will not deviate more than half a race, multiclass, or one alignment step from favorite class/race/alignment.
#12: Alignment Idiot
Cannot understand concept of alignment in-game (or, indeed, often in real life). Will spend upwards of 50% of party's time on side atonement quests to regain deity's favor. Prefers paladins or clerics.
#13: Center of the Universe
Invariably creates backstories for new characters that involve being a prince/princess/scion of deity, or being the center of the campaign plot. Is generally the worst roleplayer as well.
#14: Uber-Min-Maxer
Creates character with one stat or skill at its optimum, to the exclusion of all else. Gets bored of character as soon as a session where that skill is unneccesary comes up.
#15: Character Kevorkian
Gets bored with characters quickly. Kills them off. Rinse. Repeat.
#16: Self Fan Boy
Generally fine at game sessions, but is incapable of having a conversation about things other than his character's skill/luck/abilities or lack of same. Generally has a job or class with other players.
#17: Smellzilla
Has not showered since day after the last game session, or earlier. Emits smell rays visible to naked eye. A subspecies, King of Cologne, showered 15 minutes before game time and applied 3.5 oz of cologne or aftershave to skin. Scientific instruments have not determined which is worse to sit near.
#18: Player Killer
Frequently attacks party members. Usually has sneak attack, usually attacks weakest/newest character. Often CN/CE/CS in real life.
Originally posted by Felonious Monk
#9: Dice Ninja
Regardless of other co-ordination issues, the Dice Ninja is incapable of throwing a die onto the correct flat surface. His (or her, although only male specimens have been attested) rolls go on the floor. Onto the miniature mat. Into the cornchips/fireplace/cat. Anywhere but on the table within three feet of him.
I can attest to the female dice ninja. She is the same person as my #8, the One with Questionable Sanity. She manages to throw the dice in the strangest of place....like the jug of soda, or into the fireplace. Although, to be fair, I myself has become famous for throwing pencils at the oddest times....totally without intention of doing so....
Note though, that this doesn't include stupidity. The Fighter type in plate mail who insists on following the Rogue scouting the enemy, despite the clanking, for example. He's annoying. I guess, character stupidity = fun, player stupidity = annoying.
#19 - Combat junkie: Doesn't care about roleplaying. Doesn't care about backstories. Doesn't care about things like his character's appearance. Just cares about stats and whacking things. Would probably be happier playing a CRPG.
#20 - Skill junkie: Usually a rogue. Absolutely HAS to "Search" every room, open every lock, check for traps every 5 feet, make random spot and listen checks every 3 minutes, etc. Slows the game down to at least half speed with all his checks. Also usually starts trying to make Spot checks like mad if the DM calls for one, and everyone fails. Will not shut up about it until he succeeds. Can be easily ticked off if the DM sets a DC45 Spot check to notice someone scratched "Krabz wuz heer" into the dungeon wall. Or will be absolutely proud, and spend the rest of the campaign trying to figure out what the significance was. Of course, there was none.
When he played/read Dragonlance add crazy inventor gnome and kleptomanic halfling to the list.
He picks up the d20, he rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm. He rolls it around his upturned palm and finally drops it onto the table, where it lands cocked against his phb.
"Oh I'd better roll again" he says picking up the die.
If somebody decides to do something clever or was taking to another pc about a plan that she finds interesting, He or She immediatly tell the whole group like it was his idea.. or when another pc do something, she follows him everywhere, not to miss anything.
His or Her favorite phrase: "Me too... "
We all know that roleplaying is important, but this guy insists on having lengthy converations with everyone in town. Your party can't go to a tavern without him having extensive conversations with the barmaid and the waiter and the bartender and the guy in the corner. It would be fine if he said "I go into the tavern and chat up the clientele and discuss recent events." Nope, he has to do it in character, for everyone, no matter how minor. You will have to put off your quest to find the Demon Stone of Doom, because RPF is wasting so much time. He doesn't want to play Dungeons and Dragons, he wants to play Dialogues and Digressions.
This guys never listen to the action, he goes to the bathroom 5 seconds before the DM call his turn in combat and is generally abscent minded. Often has other "endearing" qualities like total ignorance of rules and some traits of # 9 and #5
#26 I don't know the rules
This guy don't own a phb, don'T know even the most basic of rules and has the memory capability of a tropical fish.
He won't be happy til his gnome wizard has a repeating rail-gun, flamethrower, powered armor and whatnot.
Is genetically incapable of taking anything other than AoE damage spells. Will nuke entire party member excluding self to include one more monster in his fireball. Often targets monsters with elemental resistances/immunities as long as several party members are engaged with it in melee.
Originally posted by Lankin the Mad Mage
8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
*cough*
*raises hand*
Guilty. Including the "always wears black" part.
Will do completely idiotic things, frequently endangering the entire party, such as attack a town guard or generally make a nuisance of himself. Will not listen to party reasoning, and genuinely deserves a physio-verbal beatdown. When asked, will never give a reason for this behavior.
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#30: The SS/PsiHB User.
OK, we aren't threats to campaigns at all. A goodly portion of us use these correctly. The problem is that we're lumped in with the other, Munch/Moron group that uses said books the way they aren't supposed to, leading to things like: "OMG! I CAN MAEK A CHARACTER WITH A +90 ATTAKC BONS OMFG!1111" See previous entries. For the purposes of this arguement, we deserve our own catagory, because though the blame is misplaced, people still hate us. ;D
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#31: The "CORE ONLY" User.
Despises non-Core material in all its forms, regardless of how and where it is employed - The DM could employ this in a beautiful fashion, with an incredible plot and memorable characters, but at the slightest hint of "non-Core" becomes completely uncorked. Frequently a member of the RPGA (But this is coincidence). Is convinced the PsiHB contains nothing but broken material (perhaps due to 2nd's ridiculous Psions), that SS is only for Munchkins (even if tempted, by means of being part of another specie, to min/max), and that the BoVD is actually capable of turning its readers evil. They will vehemently believe this, regardless of whatever evidence you provide to the contrary:
#31: "The Psionics crap is sooooo Broken."
Me: "How so?"
#31: "There's a power that lets you get like +20 to a single physical stat."
Me: "Psychofeedback? It doesn't, actually."
# 31: "Yeah it does. I saw it on Red Mage."
Dave: "Actually, Jaimas pointed this out to me earlier. He's right by the way - it doesn't work."
Me: "See, check this out. Psions have a limit on power points they can manifest per power. By default, this is their level -2. Psychofeedback's "Point Burn" counts towards this total. Meaning they can't do a boost that large until far into epic levels."
Dave: "See? He was right. They really fixed Psionics up well in 3rd. The cap on power points is presumably to prevent you from maximizing/admixturing the hell out of a firefall and killing a campaign's BBEG with it."
#31: "Psionics are so
ing broken."Me and Dave:
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#32: Skip Williams Wannabe
Hates Sorcerers. Never gives any particular reason for this, but believes Wizards should always be stronger than any other spellcasting class and that Sorcerers need to be toned down unnecessarily. Considers Tome and Blood to be the best splatbook ever created and honestly believes it is perfectly balanced. Generally completely insane. For reasons unclear, WotC's staff seems LOADED with #32s.
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#33: 3.5 Spell Lover
Believes every single change between 3.0 and 3.5 spells was necessary and are now wonderful. Believes this blissfully even if evidence is presented that the 3.0 version was better or more balanced, or that the 3.5 version is broken.
#33: "3.5 Fixed Fly so well."
Me: "By placing it on the same level as Teleport. Right...."
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#34: Broken Spell Lover
Slight offshoot of #33, this version casts certain spells specifically because they are insanely overpowered in the edition they are released in. Loves Rope Trick, 3.0 Haste, 3.0 Maze, and 3.5 versions of Polymorph and Shapechange. Likewise, loves the 3.0 Ability-Boost spells (Fox's Cunning/Eagle's Splendor/Owl's Wisdom Respectively), and religiously takes MDJ, which has been in dire need of a nerfing since god was a baby. Becomes incredibly angry when he attends sessions of various editions (3.0 or 3.5) in which the DM has houseruled spells for balance issues.
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#35: Twink-O-Matic
Not to be confused with legit Min/Maxers, these guys surf boards for "an awesome build" and simply copy/paste characters from message boards and pages, then claims the character is original. When confronted, claim that they thought up the idea on their own.
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#36: The Tactical Retard
Overall, a model PC - Uses incredible tactics that, if they worked, would be devastating - but that are negated by a single, formidable brain-dead typo. Examples include a Wizard that uses a spell set of Blur, Displacement, and Improved Invisibility, only to be completely tocked against enemies with True Seeing. Other classic examples include Archers of Doom facing an opponent with Wind Wall going. A bigger one would be Dan's idea to hit the Death Star with a giant Golf Club.
Me: "Dan, what if the Death Star Shot the Golf Club?"
Dan: "What? Noooo!!!!"
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#37: Jesus Loves Meeeee
Not a bad player per se, but takes every opportunity to rant about his personal spiritual savior, be he/she/it Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, Cthulu, or whatever - usually at great lengths and always irregardless of whether others find this offensive/don't care. In isolated cases, actively attempts to prod others into his/her religion as well. Extremely rare in D&D.
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#38: Cuthbert Loves Meeeee
#37's more common Subspecie. Almost always plays Clerics/Paladins/Templar/Fists of Hextor and believes strongly in conversion by the sword. Is absolutely intolerant of other PC/NPC religious beliefs and is an absolute Zealot. Adept at alienating party members and NPCs alike. Characters of this specie will ALWAYS rant about their deities at every given opportunity, save for when presented with their Deity's nemesis, in which case they rant about the opponent's deity. If RPed well, tolerable. If RPed badly, a grating nightmare.
There ya go. Enjoy.
Overall not a bad player, but generally they arent that fun to play with. They will literally say nothing but "damn" or "yes" depedning on which number the dice fall on. Occasionally they will ask for healing, unless a cleric, in which case they should probably take the Vow of Silence feat so they can justify their silence in character.
#40 Huh? No WAY!
This player loves writing/videogame/tv/or non DnD Books, they dont mean to space out, they just have so much better things to do then roll that Fort Save vs death. . . Will still complain when they die.
#42 Stupid names player. Need I say more? You get Bob the Barbarian, Conan the Librarian, Jebediah Jeremiah Brown... etc
#43 Stupid accents character. Similar to #42 and incessantly tries to play his character in character, ie: with an annoying whiney irish accent. [sob]
#44 The retardo/wizard character. Similar to #37. Someone who self-proclaims themselves to be a pagan or sorceror or witch or psychic or something and condemns any magic event in the game as being "unrealistic" as opposed to whatever they percieve to be authentic, before they go play with their crystals/pendulum/themselves
#45 The guilty religious player. Again similar to #37. I once played with a JW who was wracked with guilt for playing "evil" D&D. Suggested he leave if it was really that evil, player declined
. On the other hand, he made no effort to convert us #46 The weak. So lacking in physical endurance, the player feels compelled simply to sleep rather than to play.
No foodstuffs are safe withing hte reach of a devourer. expect the table to be cleaned off in seconds after they sit down. They could probably run an all-you-can-eat resturant out of business if they atacked it the way they attack your munchies, but seem to only exhibit this behavior in sessions
48: piX[b][i][u][color=hotpink]Y[/color][/u][/i][/b] St1X:
Beware this one, for they always carry around many Pixy sticks and keep themselves in a prepetual sugar rush. they are mildly insane and very hyper.
49: The Lord of the Dice
Owner of enough dice to fill a bag of holding or five. Bringer of as many as they can carry, the lord of the dice is master of anything that rolls to provide a number. not only are they prone to massive die towers and even whole miniature fortreses made of stacked dice, they also use a die instead of a mini for their character, sill compulsively roll dice, and have the most amazing luck when they do need to roll. Do not mistake this luck for cheating, as the rolls are in plain sight for all to see.
This player will play fighters like rogues and barbarians like libraians. Does not understand why they never fit into that character niche. They usually do so because they either don't understand the strengths/ weaknesses of a class or because they played a certain character concept some time ago and want to do so over and over again but don't want to seem like that.
#51- The "I know the rules better than the DM!" player
Always disagrees with the DM on every call, especially if it does not benefit them, or doesn't benefit them enough. The funny thing about them is, although the claim to know the rules better, they never run a game. Or if they do, they run one seesion, maybe two, and never do so again.
#52- Cranky
Throws a fit whenever something does not their way in a game. Somethimes will throw objects at random. (In fact, one of my players is like this, though only after several events happen one after the other. Unfortunately, someone gave him a set of bronze dice some years back and he tends to throw them. Yes, you learn quickly the benefits of dodgeing in this group.)
must self medicate before, during, and after the game. likes to "hit" something alright, just not in the game.
#52: the leader.
always tries to assert oneself as leader in every game. regardless of character's personality or charisma. likes to hog game time.
#53: the follower.
never takes the mantle of party leader. never provides real input. just comes along for the ride.
#53: the evil player secretly in a good game.
one of the most cheezy players. a group thinks they are all playing good characters. one night the evil character decides to coup de grace sleeping party members on his/her watch. this has not happened to me yet. not for lack of trying. i have managed to figure out the evil players within a good group every time so far. never fails, after i figure it out i play my character cautious but do not really worry about the evil character. they are pretty cowardly over all.
#54: the over-analyitical.
this can be player of DM. got the idea from these boards. asks silly questions like "non-detection protect you from see invisible?". they stop applying common sense to anything. whoever posted that question that may read this....nothing personal just get real.
#55: the item creation abuser.
wants to use page 285 of the DMG to create an item that gives +4 resistance, +4 dodge, +4 profane, +4 shield, +4 armor, +4 enhancement, +4 competence, and +4 circumstance bonus to AC. then decrease the creation cost by 70% by saying it only works for his class and his alignment and requires 5 ranks in use magic device to work.
#56: the WoTC boards abuser.
uses these boards and especially the CO board to abuse the game. i got a friend that does this. it is not that bad. just a little annoying. he is the second best player in the group next to me obviously. there is another good player but he is only in the game half the time.
#57: the mechanic.
"builds" the uberestest uber character of all time. accomplished through level dipping and template mixing. again, not that bad. everyone wants an effective character in some way. i just had a good title for them and wanted to post it.
#58: the bad mechanic.
a newbie. wants to do everything and thinks having a level or two in every class is a good thing.
#59: the just plain bad player.
they provide no input in the game but think every decision is the wrong one. whenever one is speaking to an NPC the bad player may glare angrily at the player talking as if everything the player says is not appropriate. never have alternatives just objections. i have had this player once or so. they managed to also be the "quite/loner/serious" type character as well. i will not go into length to describe this character for we have all had the silent/loner type at one time or another.
The Gender Bender
Be it boy or girl, this player must play a character of a different biological sex than him-or-herself. This could be good, but the Gender Bender keeps that from happening because s/he has no idea what the other gender is like or wants to project his/her stereotypes or fantasies onto the character. The male player/drow-lesbian character is a common thread.
The player who doesn't know the rules but claim he does,
and take any chance he can get to be a ruleslawyer.
Me: You take 52 points fire damage since you missed the save.
#61: But i just missed by 5 so I take 47 instead.
Me:
No you're wrong#61: Yeah and you're ugly and evil, so i won't play in your game
-OffMaybe you
him off. Maybe his family did. Maybe he just had a bad day. In any case, he is Off(tm), and is perfectly willing to show it. Yelling, Angry shouting and General Belligerence expected. at the drop of a needle. three miles away. at all times.#63; "Oh, my favorite FR character is Drizzt"...
...and so, every character will be a TWF ranger/barbarian with a large cat as a companion. Only get truly annoying if they always insist on drow. are Ridiculous if they also complain about the other player's "lack of originality".
#64; "Pencils flying rainbow go bye-bye."
Don't ask where the DM dug this guy up. He may have just slithered in one day and nobody cared (or were hypnotized by a particularly compelling episode of the local soap). In any case, he's here, he's not leaving, and he's eating your snacks. Nothing he ever says will ever make sense, and occasionally you could swear that he's muttering "where the hell am I?" under his breath. Will interrupt sessions of dramatic battle with exclemations of "TincyWincy Love Jonathan Christmas Twinky" or something to that effect. (We have one of those in my group. only player that doesn't regularily die a horrible death, in fact.):D
#65; the Twit.
Upper-middle to Upper class? check. Bored out of his skull between girlfriends and new cars? check. Has an insanely rich family? check. Related to top politicians? check. Knows how to play D&D? umm...nah. But they like it anyway. Which is too bad, seeing as how the only thing they contribute is "I could get someone to redecorate your gaming room" and "My new GF is sooo hot!" Only ever play rich dilettantes. Bards, Rogues with high Diplomacy and Charisma, and so on.
(They do have the money for the more expensive books and props... every bad thing has a light side.
)#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
Remember those birds from the seventies where you wet the beak and for hours the bird would drink from the glass. This player does the same with munchies. In to bag, to mouth start chewing into bag to mouth continue chewing. He only stops to speak but has plenty of pauses to complete the bag.
#68 As seen on TV.
Or the movies book etc. This player tries to recreate the latest hero, villain, or gimmick they saw last week. This include snips from the history channel and disney channel.
Behold, an adage to a friend's post. Regardless, this specie enjoys nothing more than being completely counter-operative to whatever the campaign is at the moment and regardless of how deeply ingrained his allies are in a plot. A common subspecie of #70 frequently attacks other PCs on the grounds that he's being "true to his alignment." Another, lesser, version of this species is part of #38, and is the Paladin who walks around with Detect Evil, and stabs everything that glows.
If I may make a small digression, there is a tiny line between being evil and being an ass. An evil Character can work together with others, negotiate, and have deep, meaningful relationships - just because they're evil doesn't mean they don't have "nice" sides. It's not entirely impossible for evil characters to even find love. What makes me enfuriated is when people do sick actions like "Oh, I kill that guy" and use "Well I'm evil" as a justification. For a better example:
RIGHT: Jaimas is a Cleric of Cthulu/Fighter/Planar Champion. He's chaotic evil, because he's a cleric of a CE God, and is a part-time psychotic (Hey, all Clerics of Great Cthulu Are! :88E
. Likewise, he works for the side of the Abyss in the Blood War, leading a small army of Demons. However, he KNOWS the need for restraint in towns, values teamwork, and knows that his army relies upon him for leadership and advice. He's married to a Marilith named Dharka (who's expecting a child this August :D) and takes great esteem in his charged task of assaulting Avernus, the first layer of Hell so as to plunge it into sweet, sweet chaos. He isn't likely to kill an idiot in town unless they attack him first. When adventuring with the party, he takes careful time to make sure that the party stays alive - as he needs their help with his next assault as much as they need his right now with healing. And it's all DM-Approved. And everyone's happy.WRONG: Bobbert is a LE Fighter. He kills people randomly in town for the hell of it. He attacks his own party when the party rogue finds a +4 sword of shiny and wishes to aquire it as his own. His reasoning for this will always boil down to "Well, I'm evil" and will never expand beyond that. The party in general despises him, as does the DM eventually from his behavior. At any given time, is usually wanted by the town guard. If he gets the party into trouble, he will often be like: "Why are you all mad at me?"
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#71: The learning impaired
Never seems to learn their lesson. How many times do you put your hand on a hot pot and burn yourself before you realize that it's hot? If you're this guy, about 800. Usually plays Fighters or barbarians, but occasionally (and maddeningly) plays completely ineffectual Rogues.
If he pokes a button and it hits him with a flame strike, he'll poke it again. If he steps on a pressure plate and is hit by darts, he'll continue running back and forth across it. If he sees a sword that is cursed, he will pick it up anyway. If he encountered a sign with a button "Press this to destroy the world", the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
At least this one soaks up damage nicely.
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#72: The Silly Character
Makes a ridiculous character that at makes absolutely no sense or is in actuality a sad attempt to make people laugh.
Falsn the Flatulator, master of the Stinking Cloud spell, comes readily to mind.
An offshoot of this is the one who does this, but makes it legitimately amusing and makes it make sense. An example was my friend Dan, who created a Wizard which, at level 8, had well over 120 HP. Dubbed "The Martial Wizard", Dan refused to use Tenser's Transformation or Buff spells on the grounds that they were "unmanly." Likewise he never packed any AoE spells. His advantage? Immensely high CON and STR for a wizard, and a mastery of unusual effect spells - and later, the Bigby's series. Ever see a Level 8 Wizard club a level 14 fighter to death? I did. Hilarious.
There ya go.
No, its not that the player is always tired. The character is always asleep. Or hiding. Or falling asleep while hiding. The character never does anything evenly remotely approaching useful or interesting. They avoid conflict, conversation, cooperation. Even running away is too much trouble for them.
#74 The Pointless Cheater
Ours was also #73. This person subtly and frequently cheats. He recovers hit points at odd stray moments ("Right, I nap for a little while since you are all talking" ). His memorized spells mysteriously change as needed. His die rolls are suspiciously high. However, none of it matters one bit as, due to the #73 crossover, he never actually does anything with those spells or hit points. Usually you can't quite place when he ever used them up to begin with since he hasn't been an active participant all game.
Oh, wait, that's right, after spending one turn running, one turn hiding, one turn watching, he cast one spell that he couldn't possibly hit with at that point before going to sleep.
#75 Catches you off gaurd with a move of blinding stupidity!
Often another variant of #73. While this player has done nothing for the last two game sessions despite repeated pokings and proddings, he will suddenly launch into an excited flurry of action...generally at completely the most inopportune moment, with such a mind-bogglingly dumb idea that the other PCs can only stare amazed, roll their eyes, and hope not to get caught in the backlash.
Our best example was when the party had gotten the head of the necromancer's gaurd to lead them to him and they wanted to find out what was going on. He suddenly decided (well before they had gotten where they needed to be) that we would stab said head of the gaurd in the back. With a dagger. With absolutely no roguish or sneaking skills and minimal to no combat skills. Without warning the rest of the party he was going to do this. Did I mention with a dagger and virtually NO combat or sneaking skills? I did? Ok. Did I also mention that said head of guard was a minotaur warrior about twice his size?
End result?
He stabs her with lots of bonuses for the suprise attack. This amounts to a minor wound.
She spins around and punches him. This amounts to an unconscious PC.
Who the rest of the party then tries to deny actually knowing. "Uh, we just met him, really he was sort of tagging along!"
Sorry about that!
Edit: As long as I've got the double post, here are a few more:
#76 Meet Joe Normal
Ok, your typical RPG character is not a normal person! You are different! You can do things normal people can't! Will you please get that through your head!
Examples:
#76: "You're just going to leave me alone on a dark streetcorner? What if someone tries to mug me!?"
Rest of players: "Umm...then you bite him and get a guilt free meal?? "
#76: "I'm leaving to go get the cops!"
Rest: "What?!?!"
#76: "There's a bunch of crooks with guns! What can I do?!"
Rest: "Ummm...shrug off the bullets since they won't even dent your armor and take them down with some of your energy blasts?"
#77 Which rules are we using again?
You are playing a game that uses only one type of die roll. Maybe its always percentile. Maybe its always 2D6. Whatever. But it is ALWAYS the same roll. Always. Skill, attack, defense, whatever. You always roll these same dice. Yet every time this PC tries to take an action: "Which dice do I roll for this?"
Loves rolling up characters. Usually has about 10 at any one time. However, ...
"Is your character ready to go."
"Yep. Got him here. All ready."
"OK. As dusk falls, you arrive at the gates of the city of ..."
"Just a moment, I need to buy his starting equipment."
Yes, you got it. 10 sets of stats but no equipment on any of them!
Originally posted by Sir_Darien
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
Clearly related to 49 and 23
The guy who has absolutely no life and cares WAY to much about the game. As in spending hours and hours reading the same material that he has already read a thousand times instead of finishing the essay due tomarrow, wich your final grade depended on. Or actually believing that the game was real (I swar that I'm not making this up).
In fact, this guy wrote an essay about how a computer game was better than real life becuase you were in control of it. Guess how that went with our LA teacher. 
# 80: Becuase I'm the DM
You know, the one who makes up nonsence that makes no logical sense whatsoever, and then says "'Cause I'm the DM!" Makes up story that has no linear sense, is based around urbered up monsters, bends the rules,
Is this thread not counting DM's? Sorry if it doesn't
# 81: You can't do that
The DM who HAS to have his story line go on, with no exceptions. Usually #80's also. Makes up a sotry that doesn't make sense, hands out pre-made characters, changes the game on whim, bends rules to further his pathetic plot. Doen't let you deviate from his pre-selected plot line :hoppingma
Has a favorite character or two, who are indefeatible or something similar, When you do anything that he doens't like, his character or some irresistable force stops you and makes you go on. Example, I was attacked by goblins when I did something he didn't like, suddenly they were hobgoblins with cross bows.
# 82: random
Applies to characters along as DM's. DM: (Starwars game) You are on Kessle, with no spacesuit and no penalties for cold ot no air. you are running from the guard. Suddenly a nexu appears (The cat thing from Clones) It starts killing you. You find a concusion grenade in your pocket and get a +100000 bonus and the next attack and damage roll. You escape. etc
D&D: We fight drow in a dungeon, suddenly there are goblins on hang gliders with alchimest's fire. Now there is a wyrven. Etc
Player: Who makes the worst moves at the worst time, suddenly acting different or charging into combat.
# 83: The pervert
One of the worst. DM: (The same one) Starswars, I was a female Togorian (Cat thingie) becuase males usually stayed on the home planet. Bad Idea. Suddenly there was a male Togorian in a strip bar waving at me. And Togoraisn were almost never seen off of their planet. Etc
D&D: Female characters who don't like clothes, are vividly described, I'm not going on.
Player: I get drunk
DM: Ok, you get drunk
Player: Are there any girls there?
DM: Yes, its a TAVERN
Player:
I take my clothes off and run arond and so on and so on
# 84: No imagination
The DM who takes up a book for a picture and says "You see this *points to pic* walking down the road." The player who couldn't think if his life depended on it. that kind of good stuff. :headexplo
This player has multiple combinations of groupings of symptoms on this thread... It's just the character that everyone *wants* to go away, but nobody will ask because of their relationship to the entire group or someone in the group. Usually loud, obnoxious, makes inappropriate jokes, and divulges RL secrets in-game about players sitting next to them. Then complains when the game is not centered around their entire character's life story, usually to the tune of, "When am I going to meet my royal parents and take control of my astounding lineage?"
#86 - The innocent miser...
Usually a girl highly into Anime and Manga, etc... etc... Otaku (if you know the word, I think that's it...).
Plays the game because they do genuinely enjoy playing the game, but rarely have a grasp on the rules and take their roles about as seriously as a Sailor Moon character. When the time comes, they will play with all their heart... But the rest of the time, they might as well be drawing cat-girl pictures for sidequests.
Also usually has a VERY innocent mind, to the point where most torture techniques seem almost inconceivable to do to any of their teammates. Heaven forbid that the most charismatic person of the party should try and woo the evil Drow countess into bed to retrieve secret information needed to succeed... It's all "Icky!" and "Ew ew ew ew ew ew EWWWWWWWWWW!"
Originally posted by Tevish Szat
49: The Lord of the Dice
Owner of enough dice to fill a bag of holding or five. Bringer of as many as they can carry, the lord of the dice is master of anything that rolls to provide a number. not only are they prone to massive die towers and even whole miniature fortreses made of stacked dice, they also use a die instead of a mini for their character, sill compulsively roll dice, and have the most amazing luck when they do need to roll. Do not mistake this luck for cheating, as the rolls are in plain sight for all to see. [/b]
My uncle Rick, who is diligently working on his second $1000 worth of dice, fits this greatly. He brings bags of dice, pre-rolls before the game to "see which ones are hot", and will change if they roll badly twice in a roll. I never have to check his rolls because anytime he rolls badly it's followed quickly by a "DAMN!"
The obsesively works out during the games session. No exercise equipment is safe from him! Beware during the middle of the fight this player is known to wander off and excercise. When you ask what hes going to do, he says "I just fireball in the middle of the group."
Will always make characters that reflect his personality in real life, so we can't get him for not roleplaying. Almost impossible to play with as you can never tell if he's in or out of character.
#89 - The Crazy Man
I don't know how else to name this one. This is the character who puts garlic in his mouth and bites a vampire. This is the character who starts swearing at PCs and NPCs alike in the midlde of a polite conversation. This is the charater who tries to kick a gargoyle in the groin. This player will act on any whim that enters their head, no matter how stupid. Frequently talks while PC/NPC/DM is talking. Would be cut for stupidity if he was not also #88.
Originally posted by Phist
#89 - The Crazy Man
I don't know how else to name this one. This is the character who puts garlic in his mouth and bites a vampire. This is the character who starts swearing at PCs and NPCs alike in the midlde of a polite conversation. This is the charater who tries to kick a gargoyle in the groin. This player will act on any whim that enters their head, no matter how stupid. Frequently talks while PC/NPC/DM is talking. Would be cut for stupidity if he was not also #88.
Either that or he's RPing a Xaositect...
THe player that can't deside on his feats, frequently asks to change his feats when ever the Dm gets a new splat book.
*Raises hand* Guilty!, However I have stopped, and i don't have any really powerful combinations of feats just three (only level 3).
Luckily I am the DM as well.(please no flamewars on DMPCs)
#91: What?!? How come the party barbarian gets the +3 flaming greataxe?
Party and DM: Because he's the fighter!!!
#91: I need to fight also...just because I'm a wizard doesn't mean I avoid melee.
Party: yes it does
If your name is Ken, no offense, because I'm referring to THE Ken.
Utterly nonsensical and disruptive characters Poor personal hygene + stands 6 inches away from anyone he talks to. Total scrooge where it comes to rulebooks and food. Infatuated with dragons in the most fanboyish manner. Takes pleasure in annoying those around him. Can't talk about any subject at length without making a D&D reference:Me: So what do you think about the war in Iraq?
Ken: A red dragon could kill Saddam!
Generally a childish jerk. Has no hope for his own future:Me: Have you taken the Physics GRE yet?
Ken: What's that?
Me: It's the test you have to take to get into grad school to study advanced Physics...wait, I thought you wanted to be a Physicist? Do you even have any plans for after graduation other than staying home, watching hentai, and playing D&D?
Ken:...no...
I know I probably shouldn't get personal, and I probably should come up with some general nametag to describe the Ken. However, I have instead opted to convert his own name into a pejorative term. As in my own house rule: "Don't be a Ken."
This rare player is generally a girl age 6-10. Whenever they score a hit on an enemy, they say how bad they feel for him/her/it. Whenever their character is hit, they cry until the DM fudges the roll. Then they sniffle until they get an ice cream, only to complain that they wanted a low-fat one. So you ge tthe sudden urge to shove the high fat one in their face, but that would only make them cry for another hour, so you just give it to the #47 (Devourer) in your group. So, the game has been at a halt for hours, and you start up again. Combat goes smoothly, with plenty of misses, until the schoolgirl scores a crit. You begin to vividly describe the crit, then stop, but she's already sobbing. You explain that there's plento of people who liv ewith plate sn their head, metal balls, pacemakers, stumps, and whatnot. This simply makes her cry more. Then, you continue the combat. She scores threat. You roll, and it's a crit. It's also a 20, so you roll again for an instant kill. That's also a 20, so you roll again and rule that it's an ultra-messy instant kill. Yo ubegin praying to god for help in surviving this session.
I have had one of these players (my sister, jessica).
This guy tries to capture every creature he sees and add it to his collection. He also whines until you let him have a keep or castle. He likes to torure and experiment. His favorite thing to make is flesh golems.
#95: The Immature A-Hole
Favorite Word: Main part of male reproductive system.
2nd Favorite Word: Child term for main part of male reproductive system; also synonym for hot dog.
Third favorite word: Diharrea (how do u spell that?)
This guy will suddenly blurt out (Favorite word, Favorite word, Second-Favorite word, I'm gay! I'm happy! kiss my
, poopy poppy, stinkie mepeepeepeepeepeepeepeepeepeepeepeeepepepepepepepepeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And you all look at him like
:thumbsdow Poor guy.
I had two, make that three, of these losers. Mainly because my neighborhood is FULL of them.
The XP whiner is the player who attempts to milk every possible situation for XP. Talked to an NPC? XP. Successfully found a cave the party was looking for? XP. Made a save? XP. The XP whiner will moan and groan if a player got more XP than him or her. If the party split up and one sub-group got XP for whatever reason, he or she will pipe in with: "oh yeah, I followed them", etc to get in on the XP. In addition, saying "for that you get 500xp" is extremely dangerous because the XP whiner interpretes you always in the plural and adds 500xp to his total.
I have a proto-XP whiner in my group (just noticed this behavior last session.) I need to nip it before it gets on my nerves.
While highly involved in D&D, they usually seem a bit off to the average D&D gamer. What he's done, IG of course, is re-create his favorite heroes from other franchises (usually comic books) into your campaign. The most likely would be The Hulk, Batman, and even perhaps those like Spawn or the X-men and other 'cooler' heroes. Will most likely have at least some HeroClix lying around (if not using one for his mini) and probably have at least some point been involved in Warhammer...
Also knows way too much about the 'Universe' he's interested in.
"No, you see, Wolverine is *invincible*. His regnerative abilities actually heal him back to full vitality as long as one of his cells remain intact. Therefor, even when Galacticus ate him, he lived thorugh it because he wasn't fully destroyed. He's also around 3,000 years old you know? Because the proof on the ancient hyroglyphics on page 63 clearly depicts a clawed human thought invincible by the local natives..."
#98 Loud Mouth: thinks his opinion is more valid if he yells it. He also likes to interrupt whoever is talking so as to make sure that his idea is heard first (even if it is the DM). Woe be unto the group that has more than one of these, as they will constantly try to drown each other out.
"No, you see... If I *threw* the guy..." proceeds to lift up nearest PC "the spear would be driven through his *entire* body." Everyone jumps him as his hand moves towards a pencil with the pilfered PC passed out from fear...
Tendency to be overly analytical and overdramatic.
#100 The Weaponsmith...
Carries his entire collection of blades, knives, and swords around with him to EVERY session. Usually wears very long coats to hide his arsenal...
"That ain't a knife..."
#101 MINE, IT'S ALL MINE... MWAHAHAHAHA!
For whatever psycological reason, this player is unable to keep even the simplest secret from getting into the other PC's knowledge. You pass him a note saying that the sword he picked up glows with a continous heat, and without fail his next words are "Woohoo!" right before he turns into an ecstatic squirrel glancing about to see who else might know what treasure he's found...
Can be heard whispering "My preccciiiousss..." in quiet when he's not actively playing, caressing his character sheet fondly
as #71, but without repeat abuse - but he does wander blindly into dangerous situations, often running ahead - against all advice.
DM: He throws an oblong metal spheroid, some 4" in diameter at you. It clanks near your feet.
#97: I pick it up.....
Said object is an armed grenade.
Other classics are when this specie sees a shiny thing, grabs for it, and it turns out to be a gold piece insect from 2nd (With Type F poison Bite.) he gets bitten and dies.
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#98: 1st/2nd-Ed Reference Man
People from my generation. Not so bad, but make a reference to 1st or 2nd at every chance. May only be partially relevent, but is a player from a by-gone era, usually with many years experience.
#98: "Dig would have rocked here."
Me: "Yup."
#98"Man, remember when Poison was Save-or-die?"
Me: "Yeah. And THAC0."
#98: "God, we were such tossers, then."
Not too annoying, but can slow gameplay somewhat. The wise council they often provide proves vital or interesting however, and their insights often invaluable. A few are nostalgic nuts, others however can provide information. 2.5-Ed reference men are all but nonexistant because 2.5 was an absolute abomination. It is gleaned from these Veterans of 2nd why Psions in 3rd are unpopular. (Due to the misguided theory that they are as broken as ones in 2nd.) Now however, they'll
about the 3.5 Druid, which is almost as broken.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#99: Skill User
Must use skills/feats/abilities in exclusion to obvious routes, which are threats to their masculinity/femininity.
"Jaimas, we have a key for this lock."
"Shut up, damnit! I got it" *Fervently trying to pick lock*
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#100: The Pacifist
Will do anything BUT fight. Extremely irksome to be in a party with. Sees combat as a last resort. Usually has a Merciful weapon, and if possible, LOADED with buffs and healing spells/powers. Will use Diplomacy/Sense Motive religiously, and constantly tries to STOP fights, even against the BBEG. In some campaigns he is useful, but when party infighting occurs, he tries to stop it by negotiating. Frankly, often he gets what he deserves when tensions run hot.
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#101: The "Gifted"
Does stupid things by means of typoes, and does so often.
#101: "I push the door open."
DM: "It does not open."
#101: "I pick the lock!"
DM: "It does not appear locked.
#101: "I push the door open."
DM: "It does not open."
This door pulls open.
You know the type, the ones who insist they where the ones who first came up with the idea of a good duel scimitar weilding drow ranger? And even when you insist that it isn't an unoriginoal character they make sure to point out the major differences. "NO! My character has blue eyes not purple!"
Originally posted by Stormweaver
#26 I don't know the rules
This guy don't own a phb, don'T know even the most basic of rules and has the memory capability of a tropical fish.
Dunno if something like this has been posted (only read page 1) but heres a spinoff of 26, all the more frustrating actually, this player annoys the pants off of me and the dm.
#103 I have tons of books, but still don't know the rules
This player owns almost all the books himself also, yet makes characters that do not adhere to the rules at all. He commonly makes the excuse that he "read it wrong" when we find out something doesn't work like he "thought" it did and 99% of the time the way he "thought" it worked benefits him more then the way it actually DOES work. This is VERY VERY VERY annoying because me and the dm have to read over everything he does/is now because we KNOW he will be doing something wrong for his own benefit.
It is humanly impossible to think/misread something the wrong way for your own beneift and/or fail to read something, which when you fail to read it works for your own benefit, as much as this player does.
I am not a dm, but when I catch this player doing this if I ever do dm, its an automatic -1000 xp that increases by -1000 xp every time he pulls the stunt. That will teach him.
This is by far the worst player, He /she easily meets the requirements for over half of the other bad player listings. When the adventure starts it takes over 4 hours just to get him to join the group, I wont go into details on how much of a pain in a$$ it is but I’m sure you can think of the details. His characters are basically the stereotypical of their race and class and takes the most powerful of weapons and armors just because of the power rather then the RP value. He then proceeds to try to hog the whole spot light, trying to make himself the most important by talking the loudest and always out of turn. He cheats the whole game and when you catch him cheating he claims till he’s blue in the face that he aint. And when something doesn’t go his way he tries killing them either directly or indirectly. Mostly by not telling them where traps are and walking away from important battles. He takes items that are important to other players in the group and sells them rather then give them to the players that need them. And once the party finally decides to rid of him he trys to get the dm (mostly me) to solo quest just him while the rest of the group sits there and does nothing. Which of course never works and the party doesn’t want him back and hes forced to make a new character which has the same weapons and armor, Hps over the max, outrageous status, and so on. Hence the cycle repeats.
Damn, I don't know how you can stand it, you're much more forgiving than me.
#104 the alignment fool.
misinterperates the axis of the alignments and do things that their own logic contradicts in the name of their alignment.
Example: in a city/nation that is Lawful evil the PC instantly distrusts everyone in it despite the alignment being a reflection of the places leadership and management style. In this case it was tyranical rulership by the church of Hextor. The town did have a minor temple of pelor (among others), were their clerics evil?
#105 My god wouldn't allow that
Refuses to aclowledge other gods even if the god in question is an ally of their gods. Also good clerics refusing to respect other non-evil deities.
#106 You can't change that.
This is an off shoot of the rules lawyer and is always a (read it but can't find it again) guy who can spout any rule. This guy questions a DMs ability and right to modify certain game mechanics so that they work in their campaign setting.
NB. this player is only applicable if the DM has, prior to comencement of the entire campaign, notified the players of these changes.
Example of where this is perfectly normal behaviour: When the DM changes the ruling of something that was done the original way in a previous module of the same campaign. Someone posted these as Randoms.
As for 'the quite guy' thats me in character for my ranger who has recently returned to society.
This one is a real pain. This idiot is constantly up in everyone elses business, and it is hard not to just smack them. Of course there is also ...
#108- I use tiny dice so you can't read my dice, and I pick then up so quickly, yet I NEVER seem to miss a save, even when I need a high number.
#109- Scavenger/Gold Piece
- Okay, the 20 orcs had leather armor and axes, so we'll pick up all the weapons and armor so we can sell it once we get into town, and the depreciated value should be 90% of book value, so grand total is 660 gp, and 10 silver and 5 copper. Basically they spend the entire time adventuring and keeping a tally of treasure totals to the copper piece. They also know the exact value of every item in the DMG etc.If you really play this way, please go play a video game and stop bothering the real gamers
#110- But I rolled it! Variation of above, 10th level barbarian with 18 con, 18 str and 18 dex (I rolled them, honestly!!!) Total hit points 167, I rolled max 9 times, and I really rolled it, the other time I didn't get max, just an 11 out of 12.
#111 Magic Item Accountant- Well you got a +2 longsword worth 8000gp so you can't have any magic next adventure because we all only got 1000gp and it's not fair!
All I can say is
:sad: 
:hoppingma This guy waits until his turn to start thinking about his combat options. Even if in melee with someone he has to consider the entire tactical situation, and re-read all of his special abilities. If he is a spell caster he will try to re-read the descriptions of all his spells. Meanwhile the rest of the group sits and stares, until he decides to cast magic missle, swing his sword, or run away.
#113 The I dont give a
Guy!!. You know him, you know him all to well. You ask him a question both in game or out of game, you ask him his or his characters opinion on something and all you get is "Idont know"or " dont care do whatever" He has no real personality irl so his character matches that in game. God forbid those dormant brain cells started moving around in his head he might actually have an opinion or care about something...no no wait that was just a sneeze coming on.
#114 The Atrophy/Riggamortice (sp?) Guy!!
He doesn't move all night asks you to constantly get him said munchies or drinks and even roll for him, is constantly in a laying down position to the point you cant see his face anymore and constantly brings up how hes been working all day as if noone else in the world works or is tired from it.
And BTW half of the ones in this post I know all to well, dozens of them being in the same person!!
God i don't know which one of my players is this one but iam bloody sure he exists. You could go down to your stationary shop on saturday morning and buy 20 pencils complete with rubbers by the end of the session on saturday night you will have a broken 1/2 pencil with a rubber on and a couple of pencils with broken leads all the way down.
Maybe their i new life form that exist on graphite?
#116 The Session time equals dinner time
This is the one player who turns up to sessions 1/2 hour late and this session is scheduled for 2.00pm. Then when they arrive they ask if they can cook there meal in the oven for 1/2 and hour (this player usually only lives down the road)
Where the Husband is DMing and the Wife’s 1st level character mysteriously starts out with a ring of regeneration…..Hmmmmmm
No really I HAVE been there (not for long….)
118. The Encumbrance Obsessive
Who notes equipment down to decimal places and individual sling bullets / arrows / chickens / cows …… no have been here too!!! Was my DM for many a year (once took us an entire night to get through 20 rounds of combat with some ogres………after that we took him to one side and
119. The real-world referencer
A friend knocked two drinks over and 3 of us, who did not know we were all rpgers all mentioned potion miscibility, paused, looked stunned and fell about
he begins with a druid. but then he's not cool with the metal punischement for druids, so he becomes a psion (int) and from there to become a pyrokenetesist. but then he realises that a druid is a good agressive melee and supportive healer caster, so he becomes a druid again. but then his character dies, and as a table rule you can't choose the same class to start with, he becomes a psion (int again) and from there to become a Constructor. but it's not cool enough, so now he doesn't really know what he wants to be next. he's thinking of a psychic warrior, or a barbarian or...
#121 the uberlord in the party.
he's the one that is about 3 lvl's higher then the rest of the party, because he left it for a while to beat some monsters on his own. so he get's a lot of XP and get's higher in level. so he become's the strongest, en begins to play a leaderrole (and to and to it, it is a lvl 3 abjurer, lvl 3 cleric, lvl 1 mystic thuerge with a CON 20, INT 19 and a WIS 16 and about 70 hp). and if he doesn't agree to something it is:"You want to fight for it?"
(btw, that character is me
)117. The Husband and Wife Team
Where the Husband is DMing and the Wife’s 1st level character mysteriously starts out with a ring of regeneration…..Hmmmmmm
No really I HAVE been there (not for long….)
Or the wife starts out as a Lawful Good Thief/Assassin (don't ask me) and all the various gods and godesses talk to her and her only. And she always has the exact magical item needed for whatever situation comes up. And somehow, while everyone else is struggleing to reach 3rd or 4th lvl she suddenly becomes 8th yet still has less XP than everyone else, includeing the guy (me) who had only played 3 games.
I've been there too so I can believe ya!
My own encounter was with a “2nd edition LG Dwarven Thief/Wizard” (!!!) but that mysterious level gaining feat rings very true (started as 5th level when we were all lowly 1sts! )
All the monsters seemed to look at her with doe eyes and allow her to win initiative too!!!!
Ok they WERE newly weds but purlease!!!!!! ;)
The game I was in was kind of a mix of 1st and 2nd Ed that was held together with a little chwed gum and duct tape. Now the guy wants to upgrade to 3rd Ed but due to the wife's "accidental" level advancement he decided that we could have 2 lvls of a PrC even if we don't have the Requirements. He didn't say anything about Racial Requirements so I think I may have my Dwarven Fighter take 2 lvls of Arcane Archer just because I know the wife wants that PrC more than anything.:D I gotta get my fun somewhere!
All the monsters seemed to look at her with doe eyes and allow her to win initiative too!!!!
The monsters would attack her just as much as anyone else but they seemed to always wimp on the damage with her.
Ok they WERE newly weds but purlease!!!!!!
The ones in my case had been married for a little while (a year or two) when he ran this game. And there seems to be no end in sight with them acting like this.
I don't even wanna get into how they act in other people's games.Originally posted by lukelightning
121: The Quotation Fanatic. He will quote movies, especially Monty Python, ad nauseum. As soon as the party encounters a peasant he'll go off on the whole King Arthur meeting Dennis bit. And the witch thing. Sheesh, it's not like we haven't ALL heard it a MILLION times before.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! :D
A combination of #99 (Demonstrator) and #100 (weapon guy). Dresses like their favorite character, brings weapons and demonstrates with weapons, or if mage, using cardboard cutout spell effects or way too much imagination.
This player feels compelled to remind the DM that the monster will get a free grapple attempt against a player, that the DC of a special ability is acctually higher than the DM have set, and so on. Often pays dare for his own words.
125: The Loner
This player completely ignores that there is already an adventure prepared for today's session. He won't join the party if it's not convinient, he will run away if the DM somehow manages to join them, and will find any way possible to go after his characters particular plots.
126: The Absent
This players garantees he will play even if you ask him 20 minutes before the session begin. But he never does. Or often, he shows up the following day.
He believes this is a game of chess between him and the DM. He is sure there can only be one winner here, as the DM is clearly on the side of the monsters with the sole aim to trick/kill/whatever the PCs.
That's why he will employ all tactics and strategies he can imagine, such as: check the wildlife compendium and give the DM the precise figure of how far an eagle can see, and not just any eagle, but that particular sub-species of eagle his druid changes into; assume that anything any NPC tells him is suspicious and probably a lie; argue that he was entitled to a check to see the door (forgetting that he actually DID see the door, only he was not asked to roll Spot or Search); quote the findings of modern physics, chemistry and other sciences to prove that what his character is trying to achieve is possible.
Most of the things he does are reasonable. The problem is they are pushed to the limits and get on everybody's nerves. After a few game sessions the other PCs will not let him open his mouths, afraid that a long and windy argument will follow.
127. "I can do whatever I want to"
There are a number of subcategories. What they all have in common is that they select the character in such a way that it does not have to abide by ANY rules.
If evil alignments are excluded by the DM, they will choose CN. Because that will allow them to steal from party members, cheat, have secret dealings with the opponent, tell only half of the truth and generally play their own game.
Another way is to play a child or a very young character. After all, a child is not supposed to be reasonable. She can stamp her foot saying "I want this helmet for my own, NOW!!!" even if the party are just negotiating with a Pit Fiend, offering the very helmet for the freedom of some prisoners. No one will be surprised if the child will actually lie for no reason ("Why did you say the scroll we found contained magic missiles, if it really contains greater dispelling and prismatic spray???" "Er... I don't know... I just... said it")
128. DM's favourite (similar to "husband and wife" syndrom but broader)
Here there are subcategories, too.
One is the person who has no obligations. Comes in and leaves the room whenever he/she wants. Makes the character sheet whenever he/she wants (halfway through the campaign for example). If the DM requires him/her to do all those trivila things that other players are required to do, gets offended and will not play.
The other is the person who can influence the DM. Good to have in the party, but sometimes irritating. It is good to have someone able to convince the DM that there is a way out for us, even though he told us it was over. But it still feels unfair.
Third subcategory: the person who takes up most of DM's time. If placed with other players, must do something spectacular to be looked at (however silly or disruptive the action may be). However, he/she spends most of the game session talking to the DM in private. His/her character has a lot of things to do in private. The DM is happy to devote him/her all the time he/she requires, inventing NPCs and creating special events just for that person, while other players sit in another room and wait for the action to continue.
129. The Frustrated One
Whatever happens in real life is reflected in game and vice versa. The player does not distiguish real life likes and dislikes from in-game ones. Hates the PCs of players he/she doesn't personally like. Starts disliking real people when their characters do something wrong. If two dislikes coincide (someone he/she dislikes in reality has a character that is not exactly likeable), the atmosphere in the party becomes unbearable. {i'm certailny guilty of this one
}i.e. she has a charisma of 24 but in real world a 10 and so when her character runs around it is painful to see her role play a seduction scene....
Originally posted by Rundor The Mighty
I am not a dm
With good reason. If you were my DM and you docked me 1000xp for a simple misread, I'd dock you in the face. Now, if you saw him do it say, 3 times in a row, or tried to use the same "misread" twice, then MAYBE I could see a little punishment. But accidents will happen.
This person makes a human wizard named Gandalf... a ranger named Aragorn... a halfling named Frodo... a dwarf named Gimli... an elf named Legolas...etc., etc...
And yes, I HAVE had this happen... most frequently in newbies... a guy wanted to be a halfling druid named Frodo...
After completing his charge and missing/hitting with his attack the player declares at least once every session that he takes a 5-foot step away from the person he just charged.
Does the same thing every session. He has been explained 5-foot step a hundred times, but he just can't get it, he just can't get it, he just can't get it. AAAAAAARGGH!!!!!!
Does the same after having completed his move action and tried a touch spell. At least once every
session.He just won't stop. For god's sake. Make him stop.........
" ...but if this were my game I wouldn't allow that"
This player asks the DM for some favor/powerup, (or validate some clearly cheezed build, such as their Human Tuaric Brownbear half-dragon/barb1/hulking hurler2/kensai2/warhulk7 throw a small moon at their enemies every round) and when the DM refuses, whines that they only want to do it for the TEAM, and they want to cast epic bulls strength at will to help their TEAMMATES, and it's a TEAM GAME, until the DM relents.
**I have been on boths ends of this, but not with a hulking hurler**
NZCardinal, I don't even have to change clothes to go on my #41 killing spree, as I wear BDU pants all the time anyway ;) . Awfully comfortable. And I don't have to go find my gun either. If I'm wearing clothes, I'm wearing my pistol.
Originally posted by Elly11
Your sig
You have the coolest sig evar. The color thing is awesome. I am impressed.
The value of his character is measured in relative terms to the other PCs. Absolute numbers are unimportant, so long as his numbers are the best at the table.
136: The WLB (Whiney Little
)Will frequently fight with the DM over playing an obscure race variant to gain some negligable bonus. If the DM shoots him down, or develops a house rule that goes against what he is doing, will whine and skulk and generally be a pain.
137: The hypocrite
Will often play a paladin, or fighter, or for that manner any class, but will RP it as a bold character, right up until the DM says "roll for initative". He then becomes a craven coward, and leaves his party high and dry.... actually, more likely unconcious and bloody. This character is also often prone to extreme munchkinism.
Player will continuously complain that melee combat system in whatever game is not realistic (so he does not play it) and that if resolving a single strike takes 20 minutes and several charts, so be it. Goes around complaining to D&D players that their game 'is not right'.
Usually involved with live roleplayers or one of his hobbies include fencing/middle-age swordmanship. Spends long times designing his own 'realistic combat system'.
139: They would not really use that!
Off-shoot of 138. Usually plays RPGs that happen in modern times. Many times a military fan. Eager to point out that whatever special forces/military of ________ use X gun, instead of X gun that DM has given to them or that they would never use tactics that DM uses.
When buying weapons, demands that weapon statistics are to be changed since 'Chinese manufactured AK-47 really has longer range, larger magazine, etc.' than rules suggest.
140: Culture matters not!
When designing character, insist on some exotic race even if game happens in a country where standing policy is to kill aforementioned creatures on sight.
Usually writes a stupid background how he rescued some high ranking official who granted him special status.
#39 The quiet ones. . . .
Overall not a bad player, but generally they arent that fun to play with. They will literally say nothing but "damn" or "yes" depedning on which number the dice fall on. Occasionally they will ask for healing, unless a cleric, in which case they should probably take the Vow of Silence feat so they can justify their silence in character.
#46 The weak. So lacking in physical endurance, the player feels compelled simply to sleep rather than to play.
These two often go together. Make more noise asleep than awake. Often spring into consciousness in time to say/do something that leaves the rest of the group in shock, only to drift back into unconsciousness soon after.
#41 Paramilitary nutter. Not so much a bad player, but you're terrified that he's gonna get into camo gear and shoot up the suburb in a D&D inspired bloodthirsty killing frenzy.
I would like to supplement this with:
#141 IC paramilitary nut: tries to convert his (often flawed) knowledge of modern strategy/tactics into game terms, even if it means violating technological/magical/cultural/alignment limitations.
49: The Lord of the Dice
Owner of enough dice to fill a bag of holding or five. Bringer of as many as they can carry, the lord of the dice is master of anything that rolls to provide a number. not only are they prone to massive die towers and even whole miniature fortreses made of stacked dice, they also use a die instead of a mini for their character, sill compulsively roll dice, and have the most amazing luck when they do need to roll. Do not mistake this luck for cheating, as the rolls are in plain sight for all to see.
These guys can actually be useful, if they're the sort that'll let others touch their dice.
62; Mister
Maybe you
#71: The learning impaired
Never seems to learn their lesson. How many times do you put your hand on a hot pot and burn yourself before you realize that it's hot? If you're this guy, about 800. Usually plays Fighters or barbarians, but occasionally (and maddeningly) plays completely ineffectual Rogues.
I find that these two often go together.
DM:"I understand you're not happy that your character died, but you attacked an adult green dragon in confined quarters without backup. As an archery specialist. The outcome should have beebn predictable."
Player: "You are an idiot and your hygiene is poor. I'm quitting."
#90-the picky shopper
THe player that can't deside on his feats, frequently asks to change his feats when ever the Dm gets a new splat book.
Had a whole group of those once, and only one PHB to pass between them. #142: The Elitist:
Refers to himself as a "real" roleplayer. Uses the terms "powergamer," "munchkin," "twink," "min/maxxer," "broken," "stupid," "game balance," and "DM favoritism" with reckless abandon.
Considers himself better than others in and out of the game's context. Believes that some people should be banned from playing based solely on their educational background, religious beliefs (in general, having any to which they pay more than lip-service) or socioeconomic status.
Often displays platform snobbery or brand loyalty:
#142: "[i]D&D is all about killing
. Vampire is all about 'real' roleplaying."me: So let me get this straight: a game about portraying a general attempt at heroism in a threatening world, a world with a defined morality (the alignment system), is more about meaningless bloodshed than a game in which you literally fuel your powers by eating innocent bystanders."
#142: "But the alignment, class and race systems produce cookie-cutter characters..."
Me: "As opposed to the 'personality archetypes,' which more narrowly define your worldview, and the rampant stereotyping of the Clans?"
#142: "Yeah? Well your face is stupid!"
OR
#142: "I still thing D&D is a game for Twinks and insist that D20 Modern is stypid without even having read the rulebook, but that doesn't keep me from playing EverQuest D20 on a regular basis."
#11 the Carbon Coppier
Umm.....
That would be me.
Only difference between games is name and order of spells in book.
Originally posted by green_yawgmoth
*cough*
*raises hand*
Guilty. Including the "always wears black" part.
Yeah, me too.
I think that's more of a "preferred flavor" thing than a universally bad though, because I've gotten invited to join a lot of games since the one that I play the psycho in started. ;)
The Smoker always chooses to take a break at the least convient moment.
DM: The passage ahead of you shines with an erie purple glow and you hear the echoes of unholy chanting. As you step around the corner, make spot checks.
#143: I'm going to step outside for a few minutes, anybody want to join me?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#144: The Player Who Won't Learn Their Character
PWWLTC is usually new to the game or at least the edition. While they often show great enthusiasm for the game, they refuse to learn the rules that govern their character's abilities.
#144: I do a stunning fist attack. How do I do that.
DM: I've never played a monk, so let's look it up.
(DM and #144 look over rules and figure out how they work)
DM: Just remember, its on page XX of the PH whenever you use it again.
(next time)
#144: What's the DC for my stunning fist?
*salutes all with gold plated shovel*
"Remember it is supposed to end with " Wham. dig. dig. dig.""
*leaves shovel*
*leaves thread*
Originally posted by Bulabase
[b]#143: The Smoker
The Smoker always chooses to take a break at the least convient moment.
DM: The passage ahead of you shines with an erie purple glow and you hear the echoes of unholy chanting. As you step around the corner, make spot checks.
#143: I'm going to step outside for a few minutes, anybody want to join me?
My buddy used to do that!!
Then he explained that he would get so nervous/scared of what was about to happen, he needed the smoke before to just calm him down. I got the DM to tell him, before something was about to happen: "Brad, I think this would be a great time for you to step outside for that smoke."
Then when he returned, we "began".
#145 Obnoxious guy who brags to everyone about personal problems that are *not* something to brag about.
My brother bore witness to this particularly awful player. This guy repeatedly broadcasted that that he had...erm..."mental insability issues" and "anger problems" up front. I suppose that was polite of him, but he kept saying it like it was some kind of badge of honor or something. He was also really rather obnoxious the one time I myself met him, so I'm not too surprised that he has issues...
As if that weren't enough, he also kept rattling about how his dad beats and abuses him and other stuff. (About which I highly suspect he might've been lying or exagerrating about just to look cool, as with his mental "issues.") This creeped everyone out at the table, as one might imagine.
Oh yeah, and after he skipped out on two sessions without a word, guess who he brings UNANNOUNCED to join the group? Yep. His Dad, who was apparently at least as big a jerk as he was. Given how much crap he told about his supposedly abusive father, I can only imagine how the other players reacted to that.
On top of that, the same guy was also:
#146 Mr. "Whoops, I forgot to mention that I was moving out of town/state/country/planet before joining your gaming group."
Yep, that's right. He never bothered to tell anyone that he was moving out of state in a few weeks until about a week before he was going to do so. And he apparently knew about this well in advance. Oops.
Yeah, GOOD TIME TO JOIN A BRAND NEW GAMING GROUP THERE, CHUCKLES.
To make matters worse, it was not him, but his allegedly abusive dad who mentioned this to the group too...which means he would've potentially skipped town without telling anyone right in the middle of an ongoing campaign had his dad not let that slip.
Needless to say, the poor DM (who was a newbie, no less...I fear his gaming experience may be forever soured) had to break up the gaming group just to get rid of the "ick" from this slimeball, since he couldn't stand the idea of being in the same vicinity as the guy for two more sessions.
This is rather an affliction usually found in newer gamers. It all starts with a feature of their character that has not been read and at which point the feature comes into play, due to ignorance, a disadvantage is incurred.
In indignation #147 will ask for clarification that this is actually occurring, in a somewhat pitched manner. Confirmation is given. #147 inquires how this came about, the pitch has clearly been raised and a more detailed explanation provided.
At this point #147 will begin a circular flurry of queries in an ever-increasingly pitched whine which can be difficult to navigate.
Fortunately #147's fellow players are swift in restoring order by a collective verbal assault followed by a threat of disproportionate violence (that usually isn't physically possible).
This player will commit to whatever time the rest of the group has decided on to play. However, when the time for the game rolls around, he is frequently nowhere to be found. No e-mail, no phone call, no message through another member. Don't get me wrong, gaming is not the center of the universe and conflicts will often occur, but you owe it to the other people who have adjusted their plans to either show up or say you won't.
"MY ex did so-and-so to me - what should i do to make her PAY, huh? Do you think I should (ill-concieved plan) to her? huh? And then she something-or-anothered me! I'm SO over her! What should I do to make her pay? Cos I am totally over her."
"Oh, my GF gave me this (thing)! Wasn't that sweet of her? Look at it! Isn't it cool! She's such a sweetie, I mean she means absolutely everything to me! She also gave me this (thing), too!" Repeat, repeat...
It's as if we're supposed to be jealous of him.
Aaaand
#149 - the Sleeper. An hour into the game, he's having trouble holding his head up. Two hours in, he's out. 'Drink some mountain dew!' 'it doesn't work...' 'what about splashing some cold water on your face?' 'i'm too tired to...' In this exhausted state, the player's conscious moments are only at half-effectiveness, and his conscious time is less than the time played. Next session will be spent refreshing the Sleeper's memory, and keeping him pumped as full of sugar as you can.
#150 - the Minuteman. The Minuteman never performs surgery, never makes research checks, or gather informations checks for one reason - it takes 1d4 hours. Even if there's nothing else their character could do, Minuteman refuses to 'waste' the time.
Enjoys harassing other PCs and even fighting them. A pain in the ass to have in an organized group. Has no real reason for doing this, and often acts contrary to alignment.
#152: The Religious Nutjob Parent:
Not a PC, but exceptionally aggravating nonetheless and deserves its own entry. A parent of one of the PCs or DM, that believes D&D in all its forms is a work of Satan and that the makers of D&D are secretly trying to subvert all children into deviant religions and lifestyles. Believes this despite any evidence to the contrary. Effectively, the person on whom the Deadale Wives bit is missed completely.
#153: The Character-Swapper:
Goes through characters like whales go through Plankton. You know exactly what I mean. Not necessarily through death, they often lose characters via retirement.
My mom is like this. Don't get me wrong, I'm a diehard Christian, but that just makes people like this annoy me even more.
If I may, I'll expound a bit on it
#152: The Religious Nutjob Parent:
Not a PC, but exceptionally aggravating nonetheless and deserves its own entry. A parent of one of the PCs or DM, that believes D&D in all its forms is a work of Satan and that the makers of D&D are secretly trying to subvert all children into deviant religions and lifestyles. Believes this despite any evidence to the contrary. Effectively, the person on whom the Deadale Wives bit is missed completely.
Most frequently believes this COMPLETELY on hearsay.
Stuff like: "I hear the devil himself created D&D!" "Really? I'll believe you because you're a [insert religion here], and obviously know SO much more than me"
Or then there's:
Person 1: "Yeah, did you hear about the kid who killed himself?"
Person 2: "No! Tell me about it!"
P1: "I don't know much, but I think he played D&D"
P2: "*sarcasm* Well THAT'S a surprise."
P1: "I know! And to think that the police say it was because [insert other MUCH more legitimate reason here]!"
P2: "*laugh* You can't be serious!"
Or then there's the Adventures in Odessey (for those of you that know what I'm talking about). I used to love that show (it was on the radio). It still can be good. But I don't care for it anymore. Why? They had the episode where the kid's cousin comes and starts sacrificing dolls to some make-believe demon lord. And then at the end basically told you that if any of your friends roleplay, you should call 911, because they OBVIOUSLY have problems.
Of course, I heard this before I was roleplaying (waaay before), and actually believed it... then my dad started trying to roleplay with me...
But, PLEASE remember that just because someone is a member of some religion means that they're anti-D&D wackos (after all, I play D&D!). Otherwise you're just as bad as them. Though in actuality, there aren't that many of them.
Originally posted by Winternova
#149 - the Sleeper. An hour into the game, he's having trouble holding his head up. Two hours in, he's out. 'Drink some mountain dew!' 'it doesn't work...' 'what about splashing some cold water on your face?' 'i'm too tired to...' In this exhausted state, the player's conscious moments are only at half-effectiveness, and his conscious time is less than the time played. Next session will be spent refreshing the Sleeper's memory, and keeping him pumped as full of sugar as you can.
On occasion I've been a 149. It's unfortunate when it happens, but I don't do it that often. However, I avoid Mountain Dew like an Aielman avoids a sword.
*Days.
Originally posted by DaTedinator
Or then there's the Adventures in Odessey (for those of you that know what I'm talking about). I used to love that show (it was on the radio). It still can be good. But I don't care for it anymore. Why? They had the episode where the kid's cousin comes and starts sacrificing dolls to some make-believe demon lord. And then at the end basically told you that if any of your friends roleplay, you should call 911, because they OBVIOUSLY have problems.
GRR.. I used to LOVE that show, then they did that stupid :Censored:ing show! So I (And about 50 other fans of the show I knew at the time) wrote to them telling them EXACTLY what we thought of them, and stopped watching.
[sarcasm]Hmm.. wonder why their ratings dropped so drastically.. couldn't be because half their audience was GAMERS, could it? [/sarcasm]
Anyways, getting back on track..
#154 - The Physicist.
Knows physics. And chemistry. Could build a nuke out of dice and cheetos. Tries to use all his knowledge to 'invent' stuff in the medieval ages, or use magic to create something he doesn't even know exists.
Tends to come up with.. 'interesting' ways of thinking, knowing for sure that something is a fact even though the world at large that he lives in knows that it's heresy, and this 'radioactive mutation' he speaks of can only be the ravings of a heretical madman.
Will figure out exact distance between flying objects and ground objects using math, calculate the density of something, gather innocuos materials that blow up when brought together...
I could go on and on but you all know the guy.
#146 Mr. "Whoops, I forgot to mention that I was moving out of town/state/country/planet before joining your gaming group."
I've done this. It wasn't a week, it was a month, but still...
Which brings me to my contributions...or rather my associates'.
#155. Mr. Suitcase.
This guy(s) don't just come to the game session. They move in. They have every book, for every game system, ever made. They bring sleeping bags, piles of hamburgers, salads, sandwiches, potato chips, beer, blankets, pillows, incense, a stereo system, kilos of dice, comic books, fictions, newspapers, magazines, homebrew internet swill, random strangers, girlfriends, guns, knives, changes of clothing, tents, thousands of CDs, a toolbox, rope, FIREWOOD!
They bring all this crap into the gameshop, then declare they're running home to get more stuff! You'd think they were going adventuring!
Pro: Don't bother bringing anything to the game. They have it for you. Be it food, dice, or copies of your character sheet, they've got it all.
#156. The Gear Monkey.
Same people as #155, but this is the in-game manifestation. They have to have detailed plans, stats, and descriptions for their collection of wacky custom weapons, wagon trains, flying citidels, underground lairs, maps of their parents house, daily rotines, exact inventories and p.p/e.p/g.p/s.p/c.p counts. You know you've met one when they have a character binder instead of just a sheet.
# 157. The Creep.
He's got dark, beady little eyes, a scraggly beard, a creepy, moaning voice, and a speech impediment. He has drawn, desicated skin, and long finger nails. He starts to laugh at random intervals, then stops abruptly. He talks to himself. Loudly.
"What do you do?" You ask him. "Gynecologithst..." is the one word answer.*shiver*
# 158. The Ghost.
He only comes to the game session every three months. He doesn't exist when not at the game; phone-numbers, email, even personal contact at his stated place of employment produce nothing. He can't be located or contacted by any known means. People say they think they've seen him...but they cant be sure. After awhile, you figure he's dead. Or something.
The he shows up, eager to play. You let him. He does great. Once.
He dissapears again. For three more months....
# 159. Lord of Contagion.
He has an infected toe that he hovers over the game table and stratches until it bleeds onto your character sheet and/or food. Caustic farts that peel paint. Mysterious sores all over his body. Patchy hair and and a hacking cough. He sneezes green mucus on you, bleeds on your dice, pulls hair out of his rotting scalp on drops it onto your shoes. You inhale clouds of dandruff and watch bugs crawl out of his gigantic rolls of fat. He picks his ears and licks the blood off his fingers.
I have to stop there. I hadn't realized I've gamed with so many freaks...
Not very common (AFAIK), but is incredibley (sp) ANNOYING. I can explain better through an example:
We had just infiltrated a demon-worshipping trogledyte temple. We're fighting the demon (a giant demonic eel in a giant pool in the middle of the room). The eel just swallowed our cleric alive, and then #160 starts discussing with the entire group what he should buy when we next go shopping. Even after the Paladin pulled a COMPLETELY AWESOME move (leaping into the air when the eel surfaced, and lopping its head off), he goes "Wow! Cool! Now should I get a light crossbow or heavy?"
He had been doing that for the entire fight!!!
I also got a #159 + #149.
Oh well...EDIT: Oh, I almost forgot the best part: by the end of the fight he had a complete list of what he wanted, how much of each he wanted, and had drawn a picture of each item. And there were alot of items.
Originally posted by Pumpoei
# 157. The Creep.
He's got dark, beady little eyes, a scraggly beard, a creepy, moaning voice, and a speech impediment. He has drawn, desicated skin, and long finger nails. He starts to laugh at random intervals, then stops abruptly. He talks to himself. Loudly.
"What do you do?" You ask him. "Gynecologithst..." is the one word answer.*shiver*
Hey, I'm not a Gynecologist...
#161 - The Historian
He Won't stop talking about history, noting how X weapon was never used like that, and that 'historically, the defense of a castle calls for blah blah de blah', also likes to note how 'That's not a Glaive-guisarme, it's a Blah blah blah, and is primarily made for blah'
Tends to make other people zone out and hear nothing but blah-blahblah.
This particular variety of player is, for the most part not too bad...
Except that s/he, upone occasion, exhibits several of the previously mentioned traits (or other traits yet to be mentioned). They're never as bad as any specific "bad player type," but they have such varying persoanalities that, eventually, gaming with them becomes an absolute chore.
149: The DMPCer
We all know this one. Hell, a lot of us were this one at one point in our game mastering careers. The DMPCer insists on playing a character too, even if he's DMing the game. Even if s/he doesn't fall into the trap of Ultimate Player Knowledge or My Character is Awesome syndrome, there is still a certain annoying habit of always knowing a bit too much, or trying to lead the other characters, or paying more attention to their character than their game, or some other such.
Please, I cry out to thee, my fellow Game Masters! Drop the DMPC. Stop playing in the game you're supposed to be running! You'll thank me. Your games will be better, your players will have more fun... It's a win-win, I promise!
Originally posted by Kolo
#64; "Pencils flying rainbow go bye-bye."
Don't ask where the DM dug this guy up. He may have just slithered in one day and nobody cared (or were hypnotized by a particularly compelling episode of the local soap). In any case, he's here, he's not leaving, and he's eating your snacks. Nothing he ever says will ever make sense, and occasionally you could swear that he's muttering "where the hell am I?" under his breath. Will interrupt sessions of dramatic battle with exclemations of "TincyWincy Love Jonathan Christmas Twinky" or something to that effect. (We have one of those in my group. only player that doesn't regularily die a horrible death, in fact.):D
lmao that guy sounds AWESOME!
#162 The Cannibal
This guy, irrespective of the character he's playing, eats and/or cuts open EVERY DAMNED CORPSE that gets made by the PCs. Dead Dragon? let's cut it open and search for treasure! Really, by extension, looting corpses' exteriors is considered dishonouring them too but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.
Originally posted by Jaimas
irregardless
Irregardless isn't a word. The word is regardless. (why do I do that?)
With that in mind, people who do what I just did. Sorry to correct you, I dont know why I care.
#163: You guys have way too much loot! I'll go polish my +5 Vorpal Greataxe...
This is the character who believes that the other party members have way too many magic items, and gets really upset about it, but he himself has plenty of them, if not the most in the group.
Example:
#163: Man, you guys keep running in to the rooms with Detect Magic on and steal all the magic items.
Me: No we don't, I only have three magic items given by the DM, the rest I made myself. you have more than me.
#163: No I don't.
Me: I have a crystal ball, a ring of minor fire resistance, and a +2 Longbow. That's it. You have a Frostbrand, a suit of +1 Called Full Plate armor, an Adamantine +3 Waraxe, Portable Hole (Str 18 and needs a PH!), like 50 healing potions, and a Rod of Tentacles (worth about 55,000 gp).
#163: ... Man, you have too many magic items.
adv. Nonstandard
Regardless.
[Originated as blend of irrespective, and regardless.]
Usage Note: Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.
irregardless
adv : in spite of everything; without regard to drawbacks; "he carried on regardless of the difficulties" [syn: regardless, irrespective, disregardless, no matter, disregarding]
Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University
Source: Dictionary.com
ir·re·gard·less ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-gärdls)...etc. etc., ad nauseum...
Look, you can find ain't in the dictionary. That doesn't mean you should use the bloody word...
I've never understood "irreguardless". WHY would you use it? It's redundant, and it's actually harder to say and type than "reguardless," which a.) means the exact same thing, and b.) is actually proper, rather than non-standard, English.
I just don't get why one would use a nonsensicle, non-standard word when a perfectly rational standard word works just as well. In fact, reguardless works even better - no one will ever question weather or not it is a real word.
But, then, I'm a grammar nazi who flips out every time he sees an apostrophe used for pluralization, so I guess I should shut up now.
Originally posted by Pumpoei
# 159. Lord of Contagion.
He has an infected toe that he hovers over the game table and stratches until it bleeds onto your character sheet and/or food. Caustic farts that peel paint. Mysterious sores all over his body. Patchy hair and and a hacking cough. He sneezes green mucus on you, bleeds on your dice, pulls hair out of his rotting scalp on drops it onto your shoes. You inhale clouds of dandruff and watch bugs crawl out of his gigantic rolls of fat. He picks his ears and licks the blood off his fingers.
The only thing that would make this better is if his character was using the cancer mage PrC from the Book of Vile Darkness. :D
In fact, reguardless works even better - no one will ever question weather or not it is a real word.
I'm you mean regardless, as in without respect to.
Not reguardless, which (presumably) must have something to do with failing to recover ones guard after an attack. And while I never question weather reguardless is a real word, I do certainly question whether it is.
#164: Mr. Lost its.
You know this guy. He doesn't have money, a ride, dice, books, or shoes. He's had to remake his character five times, once for each time he's lost his character sheet. This wouldn't be so bad if could at least remember what class he was...Out of sympathy and ignorance you loaned him a PHB when you first met him, but he doesn't even acknowledge having recieved it now, let alone having lost it. He has spheres of anhillation built into his palms; if he touches your dice, they get sucked into the void like everything else he makes contact with. People don't sit next to him out of fear they might be lost. Once he even lost the gaming table.
Originally posted by smrtgmp
Irregardless isn't a word. The word is regardless. (why do I do that?)
With that in mind, people who do what I just did. Sorry to correct you, I dont know why I care.
Even though 'irregardless' isn't formal English, I (a well-educated native speaker) use it in conditioned alternation with 'regardless'; I'm much more likely to use 'irregardless' at the end of a sentence and 'regardless' in the middle of one or before a prepositional phrase. 'Irregardless', because of the extra syllable, seems to have more weight than 'regardless', which may be why it survives despite being redundant.
BTW, 'inflammable' is the opposite - even though it looks paradoxical, it's more 'proper'.
(*No offense intended!!!!*):D
Smoking Fiend, someone who not only goes out for a smoke every five minutes, but drags everyone else out with him.
Suicidal Serial Killer, this guy not only kills his own character when he gets bored, but he kills everyone else's character as well.
The
, the guy that plugs up your john and stinks up the whole basement.MR. oops I was really evil, the guy who "loses" his character because you said an evil guy in a good party would be detrimental, and then changes his alignment to evil without telling anyone.
GTA, the guy that steals your car keys when your back is turned.
The peeping Tom, the guy who looks over all your DM notes while you are in the bathroom.
The Borrower, this guy "borrows" your books without telling you, only to return them after you replace them, then saying" hey man I was just borrowing it, but since you have a new one can I keep it?"
Originally posted by Grumpy_Guy
Look, you can find ain't in the dictionary. That doesn't mean you should use the bloody word...
I've never understood "irreguardless". WHY would you use it? It's redundant, and it's actually harder to say and type than "reguardless," which a.) means the exact same thing, and b.) is actually proper, rather than non-standard, English.
I just don't get why one would use a nonsensicle, non-standard word when a perfectly rational standard word works just as well. In fact, reguardless works even better - no one will ever question weather or not it is a real word.
But, then, I'm a grammar nazi who flips out every time he sees an apostrophe used for pluralization, so I guess I should shut up now.
#165 The English professor
He habitually corrects the speech/writing of others, often while himself making rabid spelling errors. Often thinks there's something wrong with "ain't", which there ain't. Gets bothered when someone casts off the arbitrary structurization of the English language.
#166 The Gimp
This one will upset everything.The table, the drinks, your dog, the TV, he's a clums-oaf. Including game balance with some munchkin character to compensate for his natural inability IRL.
Porn Star, this guy not only want adult or mature content, even when it would be grossly innapropriate, but wants descriptions in exact detail.
Whiner, nothing pleases this guy, first he wants political intrigue, then two minutes later compains about the lack of combat, only to want more character development twenty seconds later.
#165 The English professor
He habitually corrects the speech/writing of others, often while himself making rabid spelling errors. Often thinks there's something wrong with "ain't", which there ain't. Gets bothered when someone casts off the arbitrary structurization of the English language.
My, aren't we snarky?
Yes, I make spelling errors. If I went through and proofread every post the way I want to, I'd never post anything. Of course, some would argue that this would be a good thing.
And, BTW - there is something wrong with ain't. It's a contraction. That, by itself, is no big deal. But, quick now- can you tell me, without looking it up, what it's a contraction of?
In any case, look up ain't in the dictionary (after you answer the preceeding question, of course). You'll find two words in the entry that tell you it's not a good word to use. Those words are "slang" and "colloquial". At best, it'll say "non-standard", and occasionally it'll even say "vulgar", depending on what dictionary you check.
Just because a word appears in the dictionary doesn't mean it should be used often, or everywhere. The words f### and s### are both in the dictionary, but I think we can all agree that they're not especially polite.
So, in response to your lil' gamer bit, here's another one:
#167: The Vulgarian
This guy punctuates every other sentence with vulgar language. When he talks or writes, you frequently get the impression that he failed elementary school english. His poor grammar would be understandable if English was his second language (it is a very, very hard language to learn, after all), but since it isn't, you're left with the conclusion that the guy/gal doesn't care if everyone thinks he's an ignorant twit. He also seems to operate under the mistaken impression that "ain't" is a clear, proper word that has a meaning, rather than a vague, vulgar word that isn't even used properly by those who think it's okay.
ADDENDUM: The Vulgarian frequently defends his bad grammar by calling the rules of language "arbitrary," implying that someone with too much time on their hands put the rules together over a weekend, rather than the actual course of events (some 10,000 years of linguistic evolution).
The only problem with this thread, is that it actually includes EVERY player I have ever met, or will ever meet. If anyone, of you can honestly read through all the "hated character" stuff, and honestly say you dont fit into at LEAST one of the things mentioned. I believe you are a liar.
I mean, you cover every possible weakness and strongness in everybody! Its not possible not to make one of you go crazy
And I could add, that I would fit into several of the cathegories, but still, I'm not a bad player, and to mention, my whole party including the DM fits into many of theese things. We have the one talking to everyone about everything, he is included to that a complete maniac and loves to play a weak idiotic char, only specialising in a special point to beat everyone at that special thing. Then we have a cleric, he is pretty much noncaring about others, dont want to take the leader position, even if he has it. BTW, the first player always want it somehow... sticking out of the mess. Then we hace a wizard, he plays as he is in real life, cares about himself, and maybe something other if it gains him.
Then you got me, the mad wizard being everything and nothing, changing from serious to complete unserious or just crazy and can come up with the most trange things. I always tend to question the DM's decisions and ask questions about stuff several times. In my opinion it is because the DM is running a WEIRDO champaign right now, and that he discriminates half the players to the other half of the players good, and that I dont like. But i'm pretty positive he thinks I'm whining to much, and that he dont like being questioned, although he does mistakes that I correct aswell as I correct wrong....
Then we have the DM. Having a low money champaign with antimagic world and only humans. And the low money champaigns PCs currently are lvl 8 and have stuff worth 50,000gold. exept me and the other wizard, wich only has a total treasure of 20k each. Just because he arrived in the middle of the champaign, and I had to change my pure lawfull good paladin because the other players lied about their alignments. So, of course i started whining a bit, but then I shut up deciding to try not being a whining person... but i still dont think its right to give me an xp loss of 5k and only 50% of the wealth I had because the other persons lied about their alignments.... So, everyone has their troubles.
Our party does go for at least 1 quarter of the stuff standing in theese lines. But we're a nice party although I'm feeling a bit angry at the DM's choise, but after all, im the whiner
Look, you can find ain't in the dictionary. That doesn't mean you should use the bloody word...
Doesn't mean you shouldn't, either :P
Originally posted by Grumpy_Guy
Yes, I make spelling errors. If I went through and proofread every post the way I want to, I'd never post anything. Of course, some would argue that this would be a good thing.
If you're going to pick at the "errors" of others, then you should be prepared to have your own errors brought under scrutiny. The fact is, there are those who think errors like "reguardless" and "nonsensicle" demonstrate a much poorer understanding of the language than "irregardless" does. "I don't proofread" is no more a defense of one than the other.And, BTW - there is something wrong with ain't.
Now that you've said it, prove it :D
It's a contraction.
No, it just pretends to be one. Were it a contraction, you could identify the words from which it formed. It's a colloquialism.
That, by itself, is no big deal. But, quick now- can you tell me, without looking it up, what it's a contraction of?
"Am," "are" "is" and "not." And probably a few others I've overlooked.
In any case, look up ain't in the dictionary (after you answer the preceeding question, of course). You'll find two words in the entry that tell you it's not a good word to use. Those words are "slang" and "colloquial".
Right.
Now demonstrate that slang and colloquial terms are "not good to use" in anything but an academic context. These boards are not such a context.At best, it'll say "non-standard", and occasionally it'll even say "vulgar", depending on what dictionary you check.
And that only demonstrates the prejudices of those who write the dictionaries.
Just because a word appears in the dictionary doesn't mean it should be used often, or everywhere. The words f### and s### are both in the dictionary, but I think we can all agree that they're not especially polite.
Big deal. Had I my way those words would be significantly less taboo. They are inapropriate due to connotation (they're "swear words") and meaning (some body functions we'd rather keep a personal matter). The meanings of neither "ain't" nor "irregardless" are offensive in that fashion, and neither is considered a swear word.
ADDENDUM: The Vulgarian frequently defends his bad grammar by calling the rules of language "arbitrary," implying that someone with too much time on their hands put the rules together over a weekend, rather than the actual course of events (some 10,000 years of linguistic evolution).
The proscriptive rules of english grammar and the descriptive rules of english grammar are not identical. There is no reason to prohibit split infinitives or dangling participles save that someone with too much time on his hands decided that English should behave more like Latin.
/DERAIL
The Control Freak:
It doesn't matter whose turn it is. It doesn't matter who's the DM. This guy has to control things. He appoints himself keeper and guardian of the rulebooks or dice, even if these items belong to someone else. If a rule-based dispute arises, he'll suddenly be nose-deep in the rulebook, poring over the relevant section. Or at least looking it up at a pace slow enough to guarantee the other players' collective blood pressuere rises. This is true even if the rule in no way affects him or his character. Only after he has looked up the rules and passed his own judgment will he relinquish the books to anyone else -- often after having lost his place, forcing other parties to look up the rule again. He will brood over the dice like a mother hen, and parcel out the dice as he sees fit. This intense attention will not prevent him from losing a few. In extreme cases will attempt to ration paper or even handle all the miniatures for other players.
Originally posted by Crossover-Chronicler
DERAIL
Doesn't mean you shouldn't, either :P
You know, your arguements aren't any more valid than mine are.
The only thing I will say in this matter is that you seem to think that English should be this chaotic, ruleless thing. Your basic arguement for everything you're trying to justify here boils down to "Yeah, I know it's wrong - but why should I care?"
"It's not wrong because I say so" is a pretty lazy arguement. As far as ain't being acceptable out of academic circles, it isn't. It isn't acceptable anywhere. It still gets used - but that does not, will not, and cannot be used as justification for calling it good english.
Right. Now demonstrate that slang and colloquial terms are "not good to use" in anything but an academic context. These boards are not such a context.
You've got it wrong. I'm the one who has sources to back up what I'm saying. I have almost every book ever written on the subject of proper english grammar backing me up.
The burden of proof is on you, not me. Prove that it's good grammar. Go ahead. I dare you.
POST EDITED FOR CLARITY
Oh, and no offence to you Grumpy Guy or anyone else on this thread, this brings me to:
#168 The tangent arguers. You know these are the two or more people in your group that in the middle of something important to the game; a new lead, fight, etc.; they start arguing over something not even related to the campaign or even DnD.
Originally posted by CuCulain42
I din't think that this bord was intended to be a diskussion of eachothers' gramar. Hey, we all make mistaks and most of us ar not english proffessers or profesional writers. (Errors not edited intentionally.)
Oh, and no offence to you Grumpy Guy or anyone else on this thread, this brings me to:
#168 The tangent arguers. You know these are the two or more people in your group that in the middle of something important to the game; a new lead, fight, etc.; they start arguing over something not even related to the campaign or even DnD.
:heehee :heehee 
Allright. You got me.
Apologies to everyone.
Originally posted by Grumpy_Guy
You know, your arguements aren't any more valid than mine are.
I am quite aware of that. However, I am not attempting to criticize or proscribe behavior. Rather, I am defending said behavior. I don't fault your spelling any more than I fault Jaimas' grammar.
The only thing I will say in this matter is that you seem to think that English should be this chaotic, ruleless thing.
I said nothing of the sort.
Your basic arguement for everything you're trying to justify here boils down to "Yeah, I know it's wrong - but why should I care?"
No it isn't. My basic argument is that you don't get to define the rules. No-one does. The concept of "linguistic evolution" is not something designed by a bunch of academics; it occurs naturally. Thus, it is use, not proscriptive definition, that determines the rules of a language.
"It's not wrong because I say so" is a pretty lazy arguement.
Which is why I didn't use it.
As far as ain't being acceptable out of academic circles, it isn't.
Because you say so?
A society defines what is acceptable. Thus, acceptable grammar is defined by the company one keeps. Thus, on the 'net, where poor grammar and spelling prevail, use of "ain't" and "irregardless" are accepted by the society as a whole, despite the complaints of the minority.It isn't acceptable anywhere. It still gets used - but that does not, will not, and cannot be used as justification for calling it good english.
Good for you.
You've got it wrong. I'm the one who has sources to back up what I'm saying. I have almost every book ever written on the subject of proper english grammar backing me up.
sure you do. Care to cite some of those sources? Specifically, show me a source that states "use of colloquial terms is unacceptable under any and all circumstances." More to the point, how up to date are they, and how many of them were actually written by linguists?The burden of proof is on you, not me. Prove that it's good grammar. Go ahead. I dare you.
No; you've got it wrong. If you're going to hold people to a standard, and jump on them when they fail to meet it, then it is you who must demostrate that said standard has any value.
use of "ain't" and "irregardless" are accepted by the society as a whole, despite the complaints of the minority.
No, they're not. Of course, I can't prove you're wrong. I can't prove I'm right. You can't prove I'm wrong. You can't prove you're right. And, yes, you ARE saying that you're right because you say you are. You're sighting about as many references as I am. (Yes, I did just admit to using the same technique to justify my arguments.)
. I don't fault your spelling any more than I fault Jaimas' grammar.
My original point was that there's little purpose to the word irregardless. That was the sum total of my original point. The word "regardless" has the exact same meaning (both denotation and connotation), is easier to both say and type, is never questioned in reference to its validity, and is listed nowhere as being non-standard, or otherwise cast in a bad light.
The word irregardless is pointless. People should use regardless instead because it's easier.
Someone else made an issue of the validity of irregardless as a word. I continued the subject, expressing my viewpoint. I apologize if my viewpoint angered you, but it was, and still is my viewpoint.
You can speak and write whatever f
up version of the English language you want to. You can write in vulgar Akkadian for all I care. But there are rules. The fact that most people choose to ignore them doesn't make them right. It just means they don't think the rules matter. Which, in the end, they may not. But that doesn't mean the rules aren't there.No; you've got it wrong. If you're going to hold people to a standard, and jump on them when they fail to meet it, then it is you who must demonstrate that said standard has any value.
I'm not holding anyone to any standard. I didn't even bring the bloody topic up. I didn't make the initial "correction", and I wouldn't have. In fact, the only place I even came close to the behavior you describe is when I said I didn't understand why people use the word irregardless, for the reasons noted above.
Now, if you please, I would like to make a humble request.
If you wish to continue this discussion, then PM me. I have no problem continuing the discussion, but, as one astute poster observed, we are at this point so off topic for this thread, it has ceased to be funny.
If you don't want to continue the discussion, that's fine, too. I'm pretty sure we'd never come to an agreement on the subject, so further argument could easily be described as futile.
I will not continue this discussion in open forum, unless you want to start a thread dedicated to it. If you want to do that, and invite me to whatever site is hosting the discussion (since I don't think there's an appropriate place for it here), I will come. I may even make a comment or two.
Now, if you please, I would like to get back on topic. Or, at least, a semblance of topic.
According to MIT linguistics graduate Emily Hannah
The word "grammar" as used by linguists is not the same as it is when used by most people. Grammar, as most people view it, is actually what is known as prescriptive grammar. Prescriptive grammar is the usual stuff they teach in school having to do with what to do and not to do when speaking and writing, in other words, someone (usually the people writing the books) prescribes what people are supposed to do. Most linguists deal with
descriptive grammar. Descriptive grammar deals with how language is actually used. When linguists talk about being grammatically correct, they simply mean using language in a way that is normal and understandable in the community. Therefore, many things that are often portrayed as "bad grammar," such as "ain't," are simply part of the grammar in a particular community or dialect.
For more insight on the distinctions between correct grammar in the high school sense and correct grammar in the linguistic sense. I direct you to the University of Pennsylvania Linguistics 001 Home page
section on prescriptive versus descriptive grammar http://www.ling.upenn.edu/courses/Fall_2003/ling001/prescription.html
I invite you to carefully peruse the section entitled "Language change is not corruption".
The essential gist of the discussion presented by Professor Liberman is that there are two modes of English: formal, and informal. Given that this is not an educational, highly professional, or otherwise formalized community, it falls squarely in the context of "informal".
Linguistic changes occur through changes in actual use, not changes in what grammar is taught in school. In fact, until recently (linguistically speaking, in the evolution of language) there WAS no formal education of grammar for english.
The rigid adherence to prescriptive grammar set down by schoolteachers whose sole purpose is to make sure you are capable of writing, reading, and speaking in a formal context is nothing other than attemtping to resist the natural linguitic shift of the english language. I just spent an entire semester studying certain aspects of chomksin linguistics, and will gladly take any points you like to one of my professors who specializes in natural language processing.
Categorically speaking, English (and all human languages I am personally aware of) is a context-sensitive language, which indicates that the meaning and usage of its vocabulary and it's grammar vary depending on the context of their occurrence. Further (linguistically) the purpose of language is communication. If a grammarian faux pas does not interfere with communication, then it is incidental. In order for a sentence to violate linguistic grammatical correctness, a statement must lose clarity and meaning in context.
Further,
. Your basic arguement for everything you're trying to justify here boils down to "Yeah, I know it's wrong - but why should I care?"
"grammatically" incorrect punctuation.
(before the quotation mark...)
As far as ain't being acceptable out of academic circles, it isn't. It isn't acceptable anywhere. It still gets used - but that does not, will not, and cannot be used as justification for calling it good english.
"ain't" should be quoted here.
inproper use of a hyphen- that should be a comma.
You've got it wrong. I'm the one who has sources to back up what I'm saying. I have almost every book ever written on the subject of proper english grammar backing me up.
That statement is technically very incorrect. First off, I doubt you have even checked that claim. Secondly, many of the books to which you refer do not specifically address "ain't" and "irregardless", because the use of htese colloquialisms arose after the publication of said books. (The first grammar manuals for english were published in the 1700s. ..). Furthermore, this statement only applies to prescriptive grammar manuals written for formal english, which were intended for use in a pedagogical context. Lingustic publications about the same subject (correct enblish grammar) tend to take a very deifferent view indeed.
Also, it is no more incorrect to use "ain't" or "irregardless" in a grammarian context than for you to say that you "sighted" your sources" rather than "cited", or "reguardless" rather than "regardless". "Sighting" a source means to see it, which changes the whole meaning of the sentence, where as "irregardless" is a colloquialism which means exactly whatthe poster thought it meant.
(By the way: my own "proper" use of english is imperfect. I am fully aware of that. ) In a purely grammatical sense, his sentences make more sense than yours.
You're sighting about as many references as I am.
I will end this contribution to this tangent with one more linke (since we all seem so interested in each others' sources, and I like to think linguistics professors have a little mroe weight than Webster's Unabridged Dictionary...)
Linguistic Society of America.
/DERAIL
Worst Player to have in a game?
a) Me.
b) The Bookworm.. - Shows up at the game with the latest novel by (insert author here). Insists on playing a ripoff of the main charcter. regardless of whether or not he get his/her way inthis regard, he/she spends the whole game session reading (the novel, not the rulebooks...). There are variations obsessed with movies/tv shows or videogames, and spend the entire session glued to the TV/computer watching or playing.
Forgot what the arguement over verbiage was about. Awards money to all parties.
This being said, I would like the chance to speak incoherently:
Narf, eek decker bongs! And a tweet-tweet, I can't find my keys and there is a strange guy with wig, fancypants, orange pinecone morphine drip something in my arm, applecart in summary.
G'night everyone.
#1000 is a player who usually has DMed before. When it's your turn to DM, he feels the need to help you create a plot hook, despite the fact that he ignored the previous one. He then proceeds to do Chaotic Stupid things in order to "help" the newbie DM, hoping that accusing random people of leading a theives guild (proof of it? We don't need no stinkin' proof!), or threating to run people out of town for cheating at a card game will help. When nothing good comes of it, he gets bored.
Yes, I have a #1000 who I'm DMing...
Originally posted by Veton
#1000 'Let me help you'
#1000 is a player who usually has DMed before. When it's your turn to DM, he feels the need to help you create a plot hook, despite the fact that he ignored the previous one. He then proceeds to do Chaotic Stupid things in order to "help" the newbie DM, hoping that accusing random people of leading a theives guild (proof of it? We don't need no stinkin' proof!), or threating to run people out of town for cheating at a card game will help. When nothing good comes of it, he gets bored.
Yes, I have a #1000 who I'm DMing...
Variations of "let me help you."
#1000-a "Let me make your character for you"
A relentless stream of bad advice on how to min/max or "properly" (from a roleplaying context; ususally involves undermining any strengths the character may have possessed) create a chatracter.
#1000-b "Let me 'help' you play your character"
As above, but bad advice on how to roleplay said character. Generally involves "That's so stupid. An x would never do y."
#1000-c "Let me tell you a story"
As above, but a DM, and tries to use his DMing proveliges to enforce his ideas.
Originally posted by Elly11
#114 The Atrophy/Riggamortice (sp?) Guy!!
Rigor Mortis.
http://chemistry.about.com/cs/biochemistry/a/aa061903a.htm
eudas
Every time you kill a monster, he dissects it then asks the Dm to describe its inside workings down to the minitues detail. He even does this with seperate monster of the same species!
Owner of enough dice to fill a bag of holding or five. Bringer of as many as they can carry, the lord of the dice is master of anything that rolls to provide a number. not only are they prone to massive die towers and even whole miniature fortreses made of stacked dice, they also use a die instead of a mini for their character, sill compulsively roll dice, and have the most amazing luck when they do need to roll. Do not mistake this luck for cheating, as the rolls are in plain sight for all to see
Thanks for the presteage class idea
P.S.
Bump!
:coolcthul (new bumps!)
This player kills everything that glows when using Detect Evil, in my opinion that ain't lawful good. And as explanation to this irational behaviour he says "He must die, he is evil". That just
-es me off.:headexplo
:hoppingmaIf you were in my game you ain't gonna be LG anymore.
This guy (or girl) is always making sexualy inapropriate comments and gestures. They are usualy a good player but mix them with any sort of "adult beverage" and they usualy end the session, or cause the group to split up. Praticularly bad if you have more than one of them in your group, then gaming nights turn into "an excuse to get out of our parents houses so we can do inapropriate things at our DMs house" nights.
I had it praticularly bad when I was playing with this one group, these 4 guys in praticular where always in each other's pants. Over hormonal teenage bois fueled by their rightwing nutjob parents...... I'm glad most of them started university this year.
Years ago, one of my player's used a character sheet of his own design. It was about 10 pages, mostly because it was really poorly laid-out and included pictures of Niagara Falls inside. I have no clue how he managed to find info on it.
The really disorganized guy
I've played with two different people like this. Their character sheets are always wrong because they are disorganized.
In one case, the character's attack bonus was constantly wrong. The player and I would sit down after the session and fix the attack bonus. The next session, it was wrong again. Rinse, repeat.
In another case, the character consistently was the WRONG LEVEL. She would be one or two levels lower than the rest of the group, even though she was supposed to be our level. On top of that, the sheet was wrong even when using the different level. (This same player also was a DM, who I played under. He was much worse as a DM.
)The player who doesn't give a
While everyone else is playing, she goes off to check her email, play computer games, etc. When it's her turn, she doesn't know what to do, because she doesn't understand her character, because she doesn't care to understand her character.
the terrorist:
this is the guy that not will he attempt to take down himself and the rest of the party but will try and bring down the hole campaign world.
DM: your mission is to try and get the other King to sign a peace treaty.
171ish: I go and tell the other king that we are an advance scouting party here to kill him and then send the screte defence plans that i stole from your dungeon back to our kingdom.
172: the evil rules lawyer:
They will constantly look up every ruling the DM makes. doesn't matter what it is. they will also ignore everything until they find the approait section in the books.
173: the misunderstood retard;
This player is interesting in that somethings they will come up with utter brilliance, and sometimes their plans are about as half-baked as the potao they keep between their ears. But what really does them in is that that never ever use more then a hand gesture or instults to other poeple compotence to explain what they are doing. and don't ask them why, becuase it is soooooooo odivouse that only an unilightned dolt doesn't know that x,y and z put together will give you terrasque. And terrasque is the natural enemy of any drow ranger that happens to extroting his neighbors. thus the terrasque will make the drow repent his evil ways, and while he is repenting we can steal his stuff. then when he comes looking for it we stab him in the back, and use his left shoe in a ritual to get favour from the god of Zoolu Alfia 5, who will then give us +500000 king bain swords that will allow us to over throw the king of this relm and pass a law that reguires the shops to stay open past midnight so that i can sell my dagger!
174: the alfa male sendrom:
You'll usually only see this manifest itself when two such individuals are together. Symbom include; grunting, brow beating, frequent "who's dong is bigger" competetions, and ocuasual aggressive tentandcies.
175: The escapest:
this person will be frustrated with real life and will thusly play out their fantacies in game. usual manifests itself with the PC having an exotic Nimfoa g/f, and also his pc is usual the group ****, or all time heroe of everything.
176: the munchkin freak;
--refers to characters as builds
--finds combos that just plain should not be and insists on playing them.
Ex: anyone playing a cancer mage with "festering anger" as his whatever its called illness, with the anger set to "anyone that attacks me"
177: the yes DM
This is a DM that is a complete push over. will allow almost anything, and bend over backs to please players. May not seem like such a bad thing, but when your 21st level PC has 2.4mill worth in equipment, and thats party average, then things are alittle out of hand. Actually played under one of these. One of the players convenced him that "dieing wasn't fun, and we should there for not die." When i found this out, it really hurt, I thought we had made it up to that high level on our own merits, now I know I could have played a commoner and been just as good.
178: A DM unhinged.
This is a DM who takes balance and tosses it out the window, along with his DMG. campaign worlds are hard to fallow and well literally anything does happen.
These players will have either some item with the suffix of holding or more than one, stuffed with all manner of other junk, be it magical or mundane. They will then proceed to utterly FUBAR your elaborate trap / plot / monster by using something they forgot they had stuffed into their fuzzy underwear. Usually a rogue or bard.
- Walking Armoury
A offspring of this sort will also take a cue from the, 'You know when your character is epic when...' thread, and have a scabbard or bag that contains several dozen different implements of death.
They will then proceed to cleave up everything you throw at them as they can abuse weaknesses freely with their assortment of cutlery. (White dragon? No problem! Just let me get out my flametounge after I'm done beating this giant fire elemental to death with my mace of frost!)
Our gaming group had a guy whose character was a druid. One who took the phrase "becoming one with nature" a little too far. I won't elaborate on that, AT ALL. Otherwise, I'd end up having to post this on the mature boards.
P.S. He was also very unoriginal with his character's name too. Anyone remember Montolio? I practically and unliterally plucked every one of my characters' names out of my
.#15: Character Kevorkian
Gets bored with characters quickly. Kills them off. Rinse. Repeat.
Guilty.
Read my signature below.
Explanation - "Q'eiran Brightmoon" was given up on to play the current "Cael'maris Shadowmoon." Though I can't say I got bored with him per se, it was more like I didn't feel that I was playing him the way he should have been played so I abandoned him for the next guy. Come to find out later, he became a little hors d'oeuvre for a great white wyrm. In the dragon tongue, hors d'oeuvre means "holy warrior."
Suffice it to say, I won't fall prey to disillusion again. And have a little more faith in my character's abilities. And I know it's just a game but any game worth playing should be played well.
I'v had too many chaKavs for it to even be funny anymore.
To this day he wonders why no one in this city has anything to do with him.
"Throws dice, cheetos, or anything within arms reach when things don't go his way
claims to know how to play, but can't make a character without cheating/misinterpretation of the rules.
Has to be center of attention
tells the DM how he should dm, and dictate what each character should do.
Argues so much a single combat round takes two hours, with only 4 participants in the battle
If someone brings abook he has never seen, he comandeers the book (without permission) and goes into a two hour monologue on his opinions on everything in the book
Quotes stats (wrong) after the Dm describes the creature.
Since the birth of everquest (online and pen and paper) compares d&d to it, while the rest are trying to play
tries to spread lies about the other players when they are no around at the time."
and that is just some of his major issues.
He lives in a corner of his parents house, late twenties, can't keep a job, smells bad, but claims to be the sel appointed expert on all thing roleplying.
If in Jacksonville NC email me and I will direct you away from him.
High Charisma *****es
Player procedes into dialogue by telling the group " Guys, let me talk, I have high charisma."
This is followed by
"i say what's up motherf****."
#51- The "I know the rules better than the DM!" player
Always disagrees with the DM on every call, especially if it does not benefit them, or doesn't benefit them enough. The funny thing about them is, although the claim to know the rules better, they never run a game. Or if they do, they run one seesion, maybe two, and never do so again.
funny thing is, I DO know the rules better than my DM, and I've tried running a session, but he wont let me
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
I have two players that are like that and it drives me crazy!!!!!!
This character is always exalted, refuses to kill anything that isn't labeled as "always evil" commonly tries to convert peasants, is a complete priss and/or weak willed goody two shoes
I'm very very blessed in that the GF of our DM forgot to take this feat. The knowledge that he's fair when he looked into her eyes and said, "Honey, I'm sorry, but your character is dead." Was great...
Or the wife starts out as a Lawful Good Thief/Assassin (don't ask me) and all the various gods and godesses talk to her and her only. And she always has the exact magical item needed for whatever situation comes up. And somehow, while everyone else is struggleing to reach 3rd or 4th lvl she suddenly becomes 8th yet still has less XP than everyone else, includeing the guy (me) who had only played 3 games.
I've been there too so I can believe ya!
Me: I pull out my rock with continual flame on it.
Him: Where did you get that?
Me: I told you BEFORE the game stared that I bought SEVERAL apparently you were too busy playing Tekken.
Rest of party: Did not.. quit cheating Etc.
Me:
you, that's the last straw, goodbye.The player who doesn't give a
While everyone else is playing, she goes off to check her email, play computer games, etc. When it's her turn, she doesn't know what to do, because she doesn't understand her character, because she doesn't care to understand her character.
170: The biologist.
Every time you kill a monster, he dissects it then asks the Dm to describe its inside workings down to the minitues detail. He even does this with seperate monster of the same species!
I have an NPC Gnome that will often do that, but know that he doesnt fight in combat or anything. He records the parties journey's in his book, and during combat he is usually writing the whole thing down furiously in his book. But afterwards, he goes to town on whatever they killed.
Here are some of mine...
I dont know my stats
The player who has his Stength score of 12 with a +4 modifier.
If things don't go the way she wants, she immediately sets into a sulk. Often over insignificant things. For example: party comes to a fork in the road. She wants to go left, everyone else wants to go right. Party leader decides to go with the majority. Sulker spend the rest of the evening with her arms crossed and hardly saying anything to the other players. Refuses to accept any attempt to reconcile. Refuses to take part in other decisions because "my opinion obviously doesn't matter."
The Buttinsky
The player who, if a question is asked of the DM, will jump in and answer the question himself. This is general pet peeve of mine anyway (in that this person interrupts conversations that he was not involved in to answer questions not directed towards him), but it particuarly irritates me, especially since the person in my group who does this is often either wrong or misinformed.
I think something similar to this has been mentioned, but just in case:
The "I've been playing D&D for two years now but I still don't know which die to use when rolling for an attack/skill check/saving throw" Player
This player, despite having played D&D for two years, still has no idea what to do when making an attack and still does not understand the difference between melee and ranged. When asked for her AC, she replies, "Which number is that again?"
This player rolls his attacks before his turn and makes comments out loud about his results. "Yes!!" "OMG its a critical!"
# ???: The oblivious one
This player hums or sings softly to outloud when its not there turn, whether doig it consiously or not, and stares off into space while doing so. This player also does not respond when called on by the DM (they stay in this oblivious state until hit)
# ???: Anger managment
This player get very mad when the DM does something they dont like. This usually results in dice being thrown at the DMs forehead.
Wow...you aren't a member of my group are you? You just described my group perfectly.
OMG!!!! Same with me!!!! WOW. We all must be in the same group.
The guy or girl cant stand still. constantly moves. Asks questions about everything and dosent pay attenchin to answer. Has to go the "Potty" cause he cant hold it in for 2 seconds.
188: The Annoyer
This kind of goes with dice but also with pencils and such.
This kind of person launches project tiles at the DM charts and stuff usualy making his charactor die cause the gods litleraly strike him down with a thunderbolt :P
smashs the miniatures together till u hold him down and hog tie him or he breaks them and then complains by saying i thought they were stronger cause i am a lvl 8 wizard.
Anyway...#188 - The Accountant
After finding out how much it costs to get healed, the Accountant will look at the average damage of various weapons, and the average amount of Hit Points healed by various methods. He'll then calculate how much an attack from each weapon will "cost" him and ask you to lower healing costs.
loses a -10 bonus for all cha, wis, and int checks but has the ability to summon 1d4 others for assistance.
190. Duhrgg I gotted meigac
Gets 1 0th level spell and uses it frequently on random targets.
191.
Gains a +2 racial bonus on cha checks and dex checks, but loses 6 on both if within 800 miles of a person with less cha.
192.
LOO LOO!
always under the insanity spell.Wow, this thread is alive again?
#188 - The Accountant
After finding out how much it costs to get healed, the Accountant will look at the average damage of various weapons, and the average amount of Hit Points healed by various methods. He'll then calculate how much an attack from each weapon will "cost" him and ask you to lower healing costs.
If my dad played D&D, he would so do that.
Leadership is a bad thing?
Having a lot of dice is a bad thing?
Being lucky is a bad thing?
Roleplaying is a bad thing?
#19 - Combat junkie: Doesn't care about roleplaying. Doesn't care about backstories. Doesn't care about things like his character's appearance. Just cares about stats and whacking things. Would probably be happier playing a CRPG.
Oh my god this is my whole group. I love RP and actually find combat really boring. I am the god of non combat story XP... Anyhow my whole group hates anything but fighting and all their backgrounds are either "My character's parents were killed by orcs." or "I dunno... this is a game why do u need a background anyway?"
The opposite of #21
Insists, at all possible occasions, on playing the most off the wall combination of Race, Class and anything else, regardless of gameworld history. Will write wonderfully detailed 15 page explanation of how his/her character comes to break all of the norms of their society, while not actually having any roleplaying or social disadvantage because of their unusual lifestyle.
Uniques will ask to play combination of race and classes that the DM has written as not existing or otherwise unavailable in the game world, for plot reasons, and try to justify it with a "oh, that doesn't apply to PCs", such as Sun Elf Barbarians, Orc Wizards or Chaotic Good Drow.
In extreme cases, will attempt to use supplements that the DM has placed on the 'Do Not Use' pile, notably the Psionics Handbook, or play races that just don't exist in the setting, such as asking for Warforged in a homebrew world.
The Unique is distinguished from the powergamer in that the Unique is asking for these combinations because they believe that role-playing means being as outlandish and contrived a character as possible, while the powergamer just wants to be Uber.
Uniques should be forced to play Human Fighters until they either learn to role-play an interesting character by being a character instead of a cutout of wierd class combinations, or quit playing.
We had a player who played this archetype ALL THE TIME. They always were depressed, tragic and lonely and they always wore trenchcoats. Yes, at the height of the dark ages even. It got so bad that the party killed anyone in a trench coat and the DM never docked us xp, since it wouldn't ever be one of HIS npc's.
Insists on everyone be an elf. Elves are the BEST. I say since the ONLY Cleric of the party whom so happens to be the only NON elf (a dwarf) be killed and left. I wont play if the whole party isnt Elven!
#196 - *same as 194 only* Same Classes man
Insists on being the same race, class, skills, stats, EVERYTHING, as someoen else. *sorry, i like variety*
Loves the to set everything they can on fire. Will spefically ask if something is flamable or not. Always has flint and steel ready. Loves Fireball and any class with fire spells. Also will buy as many flasks of oil as they can just in case something isn't flamable enough. Look out for exploding inns or taverns.
197: "It's ok because I'm Netural/CN"
Will do balataly evil things i.e. kill, rob, ****, gerenally evil stuff but say there alignment doesn't go down or it's not evil because there are Netural or CN. Has no concept that evil is still evil no matter what alignment you are.
#32: Skip Williams Wannabe
Hates Sorcerers. Never gives any particular reason for this, but believes Wizards should always be stronger than any other spellcasting class and that Sorcerers need to be toned down unnecessarily. Considers Tome and Blood to be the best splatbook ever created and honestly believes it is perfectly balanced. Generally completely insane. For reasons unclear, WotC's staff seems LOADED with #32s.
#34: Broken Spell Lover
Slight offshoot of #33, this version casts certain spells specifically because they are insanely overpowered in the edition they are released in. Loves Rope Trick, 3.0 Haste, 3.0 Maze, and 3.5 versions of Polymorph and Shapechange. Likewise, loves the 3.0 Ability-Boost spells (Fox's Cunning/Eagle's Splendor/Owl's Wisdom Respectively), and religiously takes MDJ, which has been in dire need of a nerfing since god was a baby. Becomes incredibly angry when he attends sessions of various editions (3.0 or 3.5) in which the DM has houseruled spells for balance issues.
I'm double-guilty.
#110- But I rolled it! Variation of above, 10th level barbarian with 18 con, 18 str and 18 dex (I rolled them, honestly!!!) Total hit points 167, I rolled max 9 times, and I really rolled it, the other time I didn't get max, just an 11 out of 12.
#111 Magic Item Accountant- Well you got a +2 longsword worth 8000gp so you can't have any magic next adventure because we all only got 1000gp and it's not fair!
All I can say is
Actually Orc Ranger, I once rolled a character that had three 18's right in front of the rest of the group. Of course the DM was using 4d6 and re-roll ones which makes it not as improbable as say a straight 3d6 character. I'm guessing you're referring to a player that shows up to the game with their stats already rolled though. That's why many DM's prefer point-buy systems.
For the second part, in the group I play in we total the value of all the treasure, not just the coins, and then divide it into equal shares. So if you have five players, and the treasure value total came to 40,000 gp and you decided to take the +2 Bastard Sword then no, you don't get any cash too. Of course if it was a +3 weapon you don't owe the party money, but it still counts as your total share. Nobody in our group seems to have a problem with it, and in fact half of them have never done this before and have praised it by being more fair to everyone - including their character.
(my sister) insistes on being ce all the time even when thares no possible way to fet it in the story.cause i have to have her in my game, i had to put drow in our homebrew world, even thought elves are extenced.
This guy plays D&D for the first time but read all the R.A. Salvatore books and want to play a Drow even if the party is "surfacers". For him, drows are tha' best, drows are cool, drows are strong, drows everything ! Don't forget that he have two cimetars and he's a ranger and have a black panther animal companion. Geez... pathetic.
This is the guy who you do not kill because you need his Disable Device and Open Lock skills. If you could solve that problem, he'd be the victim of a mob slaying by the ENTIRE party (if the DM didn't kill him first). He is really annoying. An offshoot is the kind that merely RPs this. They are slightly more manageable.
CN-Evil touched guy
This guy borders on Chaotic Evil. The only reasons he is not chaotic evil are:
The DM is restricting him
The guy is rather insane, which makes him CN, not CE
On the bright side, he is only REALLY annoying if you are a paladin. And he is more tolerable if he also is a powerful character. I have one of these right now - and I am a paladin.
Originally Posted by Xanthia:
[i]I'm double-guilty.[/i]
You've admitted it.
Now the healing can begin.....
#38: Cuthbert Loves Meeeee
#37's more common Subspecie. Almost always plays Clerics/Paladins/Templar/Fists of Hextor and believes strongly in conversion by the sword. Is absolutely intolerant of other PC/NPC religious beliefs and is an absolute Zealot. Adept at alienating party members and NPCs alike. Characters of this specie will ALWAYS rant about their deities at every given opportunity, save for when presented with their Deity's nemesis, in which case they rant about the opponent's deity. If RPed well, tolerable. If RPed badly, a grating nightmare.
There ya go. Enjoy.
::raises golden gauntleted hand, shining with holy light:: Got me there, though less and less nowadays. Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better.
A a character (in my group he was a paladin) that is actually CE, but believes he is really good. Example:
Me:Your character is walking through the street, and a street urchin walks up to you, asking you to help ease their suffering.
Him: I kill him.
Me: What!!!!! Why would you do that?!?!?!
Him: What? I ended his suffering and that's my good deed for today, I think I'm gonna go to the tavern and drink.
Me:
#88 - The Mirror image
Will always make characters that reflect his personality in real life, so we can't get him for not roleplaying. Almost impossible to play with as you can never tell if he's in or out of character.
#89 - The Crazy Man
I don't know how else to name this one. This is the character who puts garlic in his mouth and bites a vampire. This is the character who starts swearing at PCs and NPCs alike in the midlde of a polite conversation. This is the charater who tries to kick a gargoyle in the groin. This player will act on any whim that enters their head, no matter how stupid. Frequently talks while PC/NPC/DM is talking. Would be cut for stupidity if he was not also #88.
See Sig. We've got this exact guy. However, he plays well and while his characters act the same, he constantly comes up with crazy ideas that you can't help but love. F'rinstance. His rogue with really high DEX always rolls crappily for ranged rolls unless he's using something not even meant for it, like a rock, chair, shortsword, or the aforementioned shade assassin (you guys should have seen that...). So I bought him some +2 returning shortswords. He kicks tarrasque-scale tail with them.
#22: Mr. Ubiquitous. His character is always where the action is. Your rogue sneaks up ahead to scout and finds a chest...his character is somehow right at your side. Your wizard casts detect magic and finds a hidden magical item, somehow this guy has his hands on it all of a sudden. He never waits his turn, he dominates play, and all in all is a pain in the butt.
I currently play with half a party (and our group ranges from 11-21 people) who are constantly doing this.
Example. Were in Undermountain and are currently resting in (a number of) rope trick spells. We get up, are trying to catch our breaths, when one of Halaster Blackcloaks insain clones shows up. Immediatly everyone nodices and starts babbling to him (incuding the 4 fighters, 2 rogues, cleric, and true nercomancer). I stand there shocked (both as a player and a character) at the fact they are speaking to someone, who they have been warned is extreamly unstable, very powerful, and fairly evil. Well eventually my character starts trying to get answers regarding a certon quest we are on from him, but contantly everyone interupts me, even after he turns two of our male characters into females, they continue to bagger him. Eventually one of the players convinces him to attack Khelben Blackstaff and he leaves.
Later were still in the rope trick, my wizard is taking the time to prepare his spells, having used most of them earlier in the day to defeat the beholder we came across (and the Garth). Halaster (another clone that was more sane it turns out) pokes his head out of the wall, and starts talking to my character, while everyone elses character is supposidly eatting, sleeping, coming to terms with there new gender. We talk and instantly, everyone says they turn around and begin talking to Halaster, with the logic of all the sudden they want to talk to the wizard, right when halaster arives.
Well I wont go into how that ended in detail, but suffice to say the dm gave them quite the verbal lashing and wouldnt let them do it.
Aluroon
#25 The Role-Playing Fanatic.
We all know that roleplaying is important, but this guy insists on having lengthy converations with everyone in town. Your party can't go to a tavern without him having extensive conversations with the barmaid and the waiter and the bartender and the guy in the corner. It would be fine if he said "I go into the tavern and chat up the clientele and discuss recent events." Nope, he has to do it in character, for everyone, no matter how minor. You will have to put off your quest to find the Demon Stone of Doom, because RPF is wasting so much time. He doesn't want to play Dungeons and Dragons, he wants to play Dialogues and Digressions.
I'm guilty of this one when I get a chance to talk (11-21 member party don't give each person alot of time with the dm alone.
Aluroon
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
I also have one of these in my group; he always plays one of a handful of characters (Minitar, Human Fighter, Dwarf Fighter). Always comes up with a natural 20 when he needs one. Prone to do stupid things, but survive. Incredibly annoying does not describe him.
Aluroon
Incredibly Annoying Rogue
This is the guy who you do not kill because you need his Disable Device and Open Lock skills.
A grey or tan Bag of Tricks and a Wand of Knock :D
#203: The Greedy Monk
He always tries to lay his filthy hands on every valuable good, just to try to sell it to someone and make money. When someone underlines that a Monk should avoid material possessions, he usually defends himself: "Hey, I'm not Lawful Good!"
#204: The GameBoy Record Breaker
when it's not his turn this lamer usually extracts a GameBoy/a cell and starts to 'bip- bip' with his new videogame, usually until the DM beats his head with the DMG book.
#205: The Omniscient
The party has split up in a hurban environment.
As #205 is sleeping in a garden under a tree, two other players are eventually introduced into the Royal Palace in order to talk with the Elder Council as ambassadors of the party.
DM: "OK, you succeeded in talking with the Elder Ones of the city. One of the white dressed old men stands up and stares into your eyes with his deep glance and says: "You are going to discover the greatest secret of this city...Terrible dangers await you, but we will give these Amulets of Protection to both of you, since you were the ones who talked to us..."
#205 [opening his eye wide at the words 'Amulet of Protection']: "Hey, wait a moment...I wake up and I run through the city streets, going straight to the Royal Palace".
[silence]
DM: "Hum...I want to remind you that you were sleeping, #205...You cannot possibly know what is happening to your party-mates..."
#205: "Of course, I'm just strolling the streets...then I casually decide to go straight to the Royal Palace..."
#206: Hokuto-no-Ken wannabe
EPISODE 1
#206: "What do you mean with 'blind'? That I cannot see? Ah, fool, I am a powerful Monk from the Order of the Shining Hand, I don't need my eyes to see you...Can I make a Concentration check to overcome the effect of blindness, right? Come on, I can sense the ki vibrations!..."
EPISODE 2
#206: "Dead? DEAD??? Yes, I have -10 hp...Hum...Can I make a Concentration check to see if my force of will, strenghtened by Monastic training, can prevent my soul from living the body? Let's say that, if I succeed, I'm back to -1 hp and stabilized..."
#207: The Compulsive Self-Buffer
ROUND 1
[Barbarian] "Holy Sh*t! They are coming! #207, cast a Wall, one of your sorceries...STOP THEM!!!!"
[Cleric] "Ugh...I'm hurt...and I'm running out of spells..."
#207: "I cast Mage Armor upon myself".
ROUND 2
[Ranger] "Someone help me! I can't make head alone against all those monsters!"
[Bard] "Aaah...this hurts..."
#207: "I cast Bear's Endurance upon myself".
ROUND 3
[Cleric] "Things are getting tough...another bunch of monsters is coming from that corridor!!!"
[Bard] "AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHhhhhhhhhh..." [*dies*]
[Ranger] "Someone blast them away!!!!!!..."
#207: "Uhm...no. I think I'll have Fox's Cunning cast upon myself".
ROUND 4
[Cleric] "It's the End: my soul rises up to reach the embrace of Kelemvor...may His Blessing protect you, my friends..." [*dies*]
[Barbarian] "#207, Could you give some valuable support, you mo
er?"#207: "I cast Shield..."
[Barbarian] "Finally!"
#207: "...upon myself"
[Barbarian] "D'OH!"
#208: The Brechtian Roleplayer
Similar to #168, this vicious guy waits any minimal pause in the game to talk about everyday life matters: "Did you win the soccer match?" "Did you go there?" "Did you do that?"
Besides, when he roleplays has the disturbing aptitude to speak about his character in 3rd person.
#209: The Endless Bonanza Cheater
#209: "I cast a maximized empowered fireball..."
DM: "Hum...you've already used your 8th level slot..."
#209: "WHAT? Do you want to insinuate that I deliberately forgot to cancel it from my character sheet in order to cheat you??!??!!"
DM: "..."
the #209 attitude can be successfully applied to the Wholeness of Body ability (once a Monk in my game cured himself more than a cleric could do) and the Lay on Hands ability.
#210: The 'Default' Cheater
#210: "I shoot the monster with my longbow..."
DM: "#210, this is the 243rd arrow that you are using today. Are you sure you didn't run out of arrows a LONG time ago? I don't even remember the last time you purchase some arrows..."
#210:"Yes, I don't purchase arrows by three months, but I STOLE THEM FROM THE ENEMY CORPSES!!!!!"
DM: "Strange: you never informed me you were plundering the corpses..."
#210: "Yes, I told you...once...it's a year by now, I believe...now I'm doing it by default..."
#211: The Snot Familiar
God, this is vile. Who's that player with the nose-picking fingers? He's a Snot Familiar fanatic, and things in your campaign ain't gonna be the same.
It's astonishing to note the devotion of these fanatics to their familiars: these guys lovely roll their disgusting products between their fingers and ignore the other players, the whole game, the environment ecc., like hypnotized morons.
Once they realize they have been spotted, they tend to hide their familiar on the table. Unfortunately these snot familiars can be found everywhere their impudent master is: they nest between the D&D manuals, under the table, on the character sheet, on the shirts of other players, upon the snack box.
#212: The Fartist
One of these stinking fellows can really ruin your sessions. They elevated their outrageous habit to a subtle and delicate Art. You hear no sound, and in one moment the whole company chokes. These consummate veterans of bio-attacks can saturate an entire room and still can deceit all those present with their impassive mood. They can either blame all the others with disgusted grimaces (****!!! You guys stink!!!") and pretend them to feel sorry.
They will categorically negate any responsibility as well.
Patience...We need patience... see 176 and the really annoying rogue
This character picks halfling only because of the skill bonuses, and rogue because of the*perfect* correlation(usage?) between the halfling and Rogue. Also insists on searching every room for traps, loot etc, and was voted "most likely to be punted off a cliff by a
off half-orc barbarian who has tried to deal with the rogue since session 1" Just a note, I love rogues when not played annoyingly, but under no circumstances will the Halfling ever be redeemed in my eyes, not after sneaky tim, ohh, it was terrible, I only wish I was that half-orc barbarian...
A grey or tan Bag of Tricks and a Wand of Knock
Thanks! I assume the Bag of Tricks is to create animals to set off traps.
Or one of the OTHER PCs could take a level in rogue, put all the skill points into Open Lock and Disable Device, then the annoying rogue dies. :D
so what dose a dm like me do 
yup you got it i drop moradin down on him for a small fight he never knew he was moradin as he took a look of a normal dwarf but did wonder how this "dwarf" punched his head clean off his sholders 2. or the "hey he got a ring of warmth and i got a ring of protection +4 i hate this cold weather can i change my rop to a row? NO WHYY!!!!!!! i dont blab blab blab blab ??? my charry falls over from a heart attack WHY?!!! blab blab blab
3. ok i will run a base campaign PHB classes and races only! no outside feats or spells p1 hey can i run this class out of the unearth arcana?
DM "no"
p1 oh no their not that uber they only get blab blab blab
p2 if he gets to run that class then i want to run a class out of races of stone "
dm "im going home because you people can not understand PHB ONLY!!!
:headexplo players " :surrender :raincloud
Thanks! I assume the Bag of Tricks is to create animals to set off traps.
Yup
Or one of the OTHER PCs could take a level in rogue, put all the skill points into Open Lock and Disable Device, then the annoying rogue dies. :D
Another PC could take levels in Rogue, but the DCs will increase so he may have to get more levels to be able to disable them.
As for locks, another idea occured to me: adamantium. Just get a dagger made with it, and it will ignore hardness of less then 20, so most locks will be useless. This is assuming that you play 3.5 though.
lance edea is characterized by...
-Being the "tragic hero" in every game. Trenchcoat and all if he can help it.
-Bugging me (the GM) privately about the story, his stats, etc. until he gets what he wants: attention. (If he can help it, he'll make me try to get the other players to put him on a pedestal. "Oh, you're so great for delivering the finishing blow to that rat!")
-Trying to hog the spotlight by turning the game into a massive soap opera for at least two hours as he overcomplicates a simple line like "Nessa... I think I love you..."
-Abusing item creation rules in such a way that he will attempt to manufacture a gun that causes every bad status known to man while completely ignoring the fact that one of the things he chose that bumped this weapon up to the equivilant of +16 (He was level SIX mind you) isn't even compatible with ranged weaponry and is therefore not of use to him.
-Performing INCREDIBLY stupid actions. Example:
Cygnus (Uber villain who has already lied to lance several times): "Drop your weapon, then I will take you to see your long lost father."
lance: "Okay. *clack as gun falls to ground*"
Cygnus: "Sucker!"
Lacerta (Woman most CLEARLY armed with a sniper rifle standing RIGHT next to Cygnus) proceeds to get a critical headshot on lance. I'm not making this up.
-Complaining and whining when he feels "useless" after having done something stupid just like the above incident, or after a round of combat where his character, being the poorly concieved piece of crap it is, has really badly planned out stats and deals about half the damage that someone else does. I mean, powergaming and minmaxing is wrong, I know that, but for god's sake, at least try to improve your character! This is why we have level-ups!
-NEVER realizing that he is in a FANTASY WORLD, where magic is COMMONPLACE. Especially for him; he grew up in an ENCLAVE OF WIZARDS. You'd think that when he recieves magical gifts he'd go "Sweet! Magic!" instead of going, "Oh the idiom! Oh the pain! WOOOE is me, I'm a freak! A FREAK! OH THE PAIN! THE PAIN OF IT ALL!"
-Acting out of turn CONSTANTLY. At least once per session he'll go ahead and take his turn when he's at the back of the initiative and we're like five people ahead of him.
-Not particularly caring about the continuity of the world he's in as long as he gets the cool power he wants. In a Phantasy Star RPG he wants something called "Neo Rage" wherein he becomes incredibly powerful whenever he gets extremely ******. THIS IS PHANTASY STAR, NOT DBZ! Bloody idiot. Since I was a pitifully ignorant and uncaring young GM back then, I went and gave it to him (with plenty of misgivings; so many so that I deliberately never prompted it), and then, to make matters worse, he'd bother me about wanting to use it to impress everyone else during every boss fight.
-Being a twit in general. He'd do the most detromental things, becoming a danger to himself and others. Aside from totally ignoring the free wizard levels granted to him as part of his character's bonuses (don't worry, everyone got some cool thing like this) and then later asserting himself as a "moderately good fighter and a crappy wizard" (which translates into "crap" around the 20's in levels), he'd also do such weird things that I just out and out exploited his gullibility later on. A ghost of a several thousand year old malevolent being appears to him and tells him to bring him samples of the blood of two of his closest allies (both of which clearly have some celestial heritage), and like the fool he is, he goes and gets it for him. And then he's surprised when the ghost cackles maniacally as it assumes an impressive, godlike physical form and promises to kill him last because he likes him. One of this guy's minions later gave the group hell. Need I say more on what they thought of him afterwards? Oh, he also sold their ship for no good reason.
-Being a loser; lance is known for being relieved when his friends call off the trip to the movies because he was afraid to miss internet RPing. "Oh, it's a good thing I didn't spend quality time with real people; I might've missed playing pretend on the internet with strangers!"
*wipes forehead* My god, this is long, isn't it? Yeah, lance's list just sort of goes on like this. He was an incredibly irritating player. Thank god I banned him; the game's a LOT more pleasant to play without him whining every time someone who's not him does something interesting.
Okay, this next one is called Kairah Mardeneigh, and he's not so bad. He's got a relatively short list. In fact, I think I can sum it up really quickly here: if he's not fighting, he's not interested. Roleplaying and plot development aren't his concern; he will pay no attention to them. His answer to all gameplay problems is "add more mindless action/senseless violence" (not his own words, but pretty close. He generally only says one of the two). He is totally aimless as a result and pays little attention. This is irritating beyond all hell, isn't it? Good guy, great sense of humor, but isn't interested at all in what you're doing unless there's an explosion involved.
Okay, *sigh* that finishes up my little list of grievances. While I'm here, I might as well give one brief complaint about chaotic neutral characters who try to validate their totally random, stupid actions by saying that they're aimless gits on account of their alignment. This is even worse than hiding behind the "evil" barrier since nobody ever seems to be able to think of a good definition for "chaotic neutral" and therefore they can claim that the source books are backing them up. This just needs to stop.
Alright, that's it for me... for now. Nick Caligo, over and out.
214 Mr. Forgot to take my prozac. Dude is depressed in real life. Makes sure everyone knows. Rolls up characters who are depressed and act it. Makes sure to point out each session how much the world sucks and no one really loves you. Other players make multiple attempts to intervene, suggest counseling, etc. DM will eventually offer this guy a gun. I'll offer to pitch in for bullets.
215 Psychopath. Dude not only enjoys playing evil characters but takes this past the level. Commits ****, child murder, etc. Eye has a little glint while he does this.
216 In Character flirting. Male player and female player like each other but both are too shy to just come out and say it. Oftentimes one or both of them are married and not to each other. She plays a beautiful elven bard. He plays a half-ogre Ur-Priest who lost his nose fighting a mummy. These characters somehow manage to flirt with each other, throw little kisses each others way, etc.
217 Mr. Can't Read, as in I haven't bothered to read the PHB, and want you to tell me what I have to do at all times. What do I roll to hit again? You mean I get to choose skills too? What's a feat? YEah, I've been meaning to read this for the last year and a half, I'll get to it eventually.
218 The control freak. Usually is the party spell caster. Casts identify on all party magic items and doles them out as he sees fit without telling people what the items are. Says this is to reduce party discord.
219 The Kender. Doesn't have to actually be a kender, but will play a rogue. Will steal from party. Will take items from party chests without giving party a chance to decide who can use the item most. Has more magic items than all rest of party combined. Needs to die.
220 The Can't Stop DMing. Usually DMs rather than plays but wants to take a break. Is usually a fine DM and knows the rules well. Is a horrible player. Gives new DM hard time, calls BullS**t more often than is necessary, does not make any attempt to go along with new DM's plot hooks. Oftentimes mixed with 218.
that's all I have at the moment.
This person seems a bit off, but a passible filler person when things seem light. On the third adventure, he brings someone who has at least ten previously mentioned bad traits. On the fourth, three bizzarre people show up. Soon, all of the good players have left, and you are stuck with a gang of unwashed and socially maladjusted people destined never to reproduce. Said people know when and where you will be playing next, no matter what you do to hide the time and location of the game.
One of the bizzare people began stealing holy water from the nearby catholic church to help evict evil spirits from his house. God knows the stuff didn't drive him away from mine.
#221-A (eh? cuz I'm Canadian): The Coach
I'm not a big fan of "the Coach" ... usually a min/maxer who is very up on teh material but proceeds to 'strongly' advise everyone on what they should: "You should use this spell, not that one" ... "Move over there so you can backstab better" ... "Gone up a level? You should take this feat not that one."
I'd rather let the players develop their own characters. Thankfully my group is very open in discussing that this person should quiet down occasionally. Of course there are times when I just do things to tick them off, sort of let the air out of their sails....
... which probably makes ME one of the worst players THEY'D describe.
Brings toddlers and infants to games even though they know they disrupt game play and make others unhappy. Tolerable in "at-home" games, but when put into a public setting it always gets awkward with diaper changes and toddler chases.
223 – Choicemonger
During games (character creation and leveling especially) brings out books that he knows the DM has already disallowed and continues to point out why he should be allowed to use Frostburn feats in your desert campaign, or why Oriental Adventures races/classes should be exist in your world, all because he "likes to have choices".
224 - Prestige Class for Everything
Often goes along with 223. Thinks that everything should be a prestige class. Dwarven Dancer, Master Merchant, Guy Who Looks Good in Black (you get the idea.) Won't take skills/feats unless they will eventually lead to a PrC.
Typically shows up late for games, and when does arrive, constantly engages in out-of-game conversations with DM or other players. Insists on breaking for lunch/dinner/whatever, and then says has to leave early.
226 The Guilt Tripper
Keeps talking about how little time they have to play D&D, or how mad their significant others get when they play, as if the other players should feel graced by their presence at the gaming table.
This guy can't play anything else than a monster that can't live in civilised area, or combination of template and monstrous race agenced with class or prestige class that just don't have sens with the said error of nature. exemple: An L-G antropomorphic mule half-scrag(sea-throll) half-illithid half-celestial Feral Paladin of Heironeus.
228. The Trouble-Maker
This guy play only weirdo character born to nothing else than transforming the life of the others party member into an horrible hell. He will throw you rocks from upstairs while you're climbing the million feets cliff, he will bury you while you're asleep, he will stole things from you while you're fighting the 3 horrible mummys. Their entire time is dedicated to creating havoc in the party. The worst is that they really do nothing else than that, except take a share of the loot...
:headexplo :hoppingmaThis guy won't rest, until he has seduced everything nearly-female (or even male) during the current gaming session, preferably enemies.
DM: ... you are an elf!
#228: OK, dwarfes and elves seem to be physically incompatible, but nevertheless, she could fall in love with me!
DM: ... you are male!
#228: OK, two male persons seem to be physically incompatible, but nevertheless, he could fall in love with me!
DM: ... you are human!
#228: OK, [..] gods or extraplanar beings [..]
#229 The Incognito Jerk: this guy will create a character that everyone thinks is normal. He will play a few game sessions and then out of nowhere without warning he will become a huge jerk. His character will suddenly have an attitude and he'll attack other party members. But you never see it coming until it's too late.......
#230 My DM'n is better than yours!: these are PC's that used to be DM's or DM another game. They will sit in your game and then try to puff up there chest like a rooster when something doesn't go there way and declare "My DM'n is better than yours!" they will talk behind your back to other players telling them "In my game this wouldn't happen.....I'm so much better." He may even attempt to steal players over to his game.
#231 The Map Biatch: this is the player, usually a noob, who is always forced to wipe down the battle map. This isn't a bad thing but sometimes they will complain about their duty or else take it with to much enthusiasm. Usually either resents new players b/c they will take the job being a noob or look for new players so that they don't have to do it anymore.
#232 Playing a Good Character is not useful in my game: this is the DM that tries to create an epic story but goes overboard and makes it to where you can't play a good character in his game. You are evil or neutral and don't care? Well that's great. You coast through life happily doing odd jobs and having a good time. Never too much danger.
You're a hero? Well then now we're talking! Suddenly you have ever bad guy cult in the entire campaign world bearing down on you and nobody wants to help you b/c trouble follows you!
#233 MY CHARACTER SUCKS!: I've played with this guy before. He creates a character and will be happy until the SMALLEST of things does not go his way. Then he starts complaining "my character sucks". He will then not play the character like it was supposed to be played. He's got a sorcerer? Well then he just tries to engage in melee with everything! And when his butt is kicked he says "My character sucks! He can't do anything! I only have a +2 to hit? What a crappy character!" and you just want to yell "CAST A SPELL!" He will usually end up putting his head down and not paying attention. You could yell at them and tell them to pay attention and they will say "I am!" but they aren't. Their head is down. Usually they end up giving you nothing but short snappy answers the rest of the night.
#234 Don't I get a Reflex save!?: This guy in my group was #233 as well. He didn't understand the concept of AC and Dex being calculated into it. Everytime an enemy hit him with a melee attack or ranged attack he would say in his angriest voice "Don't I get a reflex save!?" as if he's entitled to it. Then when you say "NO" he gets angry and declares "MAN THAT'S BS! YOU'RE CHEATING ME!"
The player who will begin to whine as soon as a monster is not exactly like represented in the monster manual. He insists that all monsters are carbon-copies of eachother, and exist only to be slaughtered by the party, have no personality, no ambitions, and are, especially, completely predictable with no unique abilities whatsoever. Do I smell barbeque? Or maybe metagaming?
This player turns up with a book they bought that day and insist it be integrated into play immediately. They've got loads a new character based on half the contents, and spend the rest of the session looking stuff up as they have no idea how it works...
My uncle Rick, who is diligently working on his second $1000 worth of dice, fits this greatly. He brings bags of dice, pre-rolls before the game to "see which ones are hot", and will change if they roll badly twice in a roll. I never have to check his rolls because anytime he rolls badly it's followed quickly by a "DAMN!"
HA! I've done that! Well, not the $1000 worth of dice, but I've done the pre-roll thing! (Of course, I was like 10 years old at the time). Now we use a computer to do all the dice rolls, so now we don't have to worry about cheating on rolls.
The guy who has to have every little piece of information on his character sheet possible. Also tends to have the biggest character sheet and is very pissy about having a clean and organized sheet. If the sheet displays any wear and tear, it must be replaced. After about 3 or so levels, again the sheet must be replaced.
This kind of guy is sadly, me. Except for the repetition of replacement on the character sheet. I've only replaced my sheet twice: once when psionics went from 3.0 to 3.5 and again when they released the 4 pager psionic character sheets.
#238 - The "I can't do anything" player
This guy constantly complains that he can't do anything in a fight or rp situation. Not just the typical "well crap, I can't hurt it", or "I can't help you", but the line "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!" in an accusatory way towards the DM when the DM is just trying to make the gameplay challenging by introducing difficult puzzles or monsters.
#239 - "The DM is out to get me!"
Either a cause or variant of #238, #239 frequently worries that whatever the DM has planned in the game is designed with the sole purpose of screwing him up. Makes loud comments and references to past events in the hopes of displaying this to the rest of the party. Often does this during combats in which he is also #238.
Then again, every once in a while, something bad does happen, and if it happens frequently (say you're always killed by a two-handing, falchion wielding barbarian in rage, no matter what character you play) it tends to get on ones nerves... or become a point of humor within the group that you'll never live down. We have a player who has lost 3 characters in completely different campaigns and at completely different levels to that type of barbarian.
The Gender Bender
Be it boy or girl, this player must play a character of a different biological sex than him-or-herself. This could be good, but the Gender Bender keeps that from happening because s/he has no idea what the other gender is like or wants to project his/her stereotypes or fantasies onto the character. The male player/drow-lesbian character is a common thread.
I do this somewhat. If my character has a high Charisma, that character will be female and have NO interest in sex. This works best with paladins.
#237 - Mr. "Obsessive about his character sheet" Man
The guy who has to have every little piece of information on his character sheet possible. Also tends to have the biggest character sheet and is very pissy about having a clean and organized sheet. If the sheet displays any wear and tear, it must be replaced. After about 3 or so levels, again the sheet must be replaced.
This kind of guy is sadly, me. Except for the repetition of replacement on the character sheet. I've only replaced my sheet twice: once when psionics went from 3.0 to 3.5 and again when they released the 4 pager psionic character sheets.
I must sadly add the 237b: As the 238, but this guy won't even contemplate making a PC ona regular sheet of paper. We have the books but no sheetes/acces to a copier? Won't play. This guy even refuse an officail character sheet on the ground that it was folded in 2.
When it comes to playing the his one and only class of choice, he can site everything in the PHB between pages 37 and 39. He keeps in his folder twenty different character sheets showing the progression of a CN Greatsword weilding Human Figther from level 1 to 20 for when ever the needs arise. Yet still takes 3 hours to design a new character that is in the end a copy of one already in his folder.
The figthertalogist also will place all levels in figther since they do not know how to, cast spells, prepare spells, rest, rage, sneak attack their way out of a flat footed paper bag, or even think in a creative way.
The figthertalogist will show little regards in common sense as they have been known to walk up to city gates holding a flaming great sword and were then confused why the guards attack. Others have been known to carry troll arms around. Some have also been seen using flaming great swords in wood areas and been chased down by hoards of angry druids who spent hours putting out his forest fire.
# 79: The no life fanatic
The guy who has absolutely no life and cares WAY to much about the game.
Err, that's about 97% of us!
Regardless, I suppose I should add some my own contribution (I.E. myself)
# 241 Wrong World
When a player brings in knowlege about another world. Real problem with home brews. This may be anethema to a player, but the city of Donderville and the lands of the surrounding Flintoozlar people of the Heerakar Province don't exist in every universe.
Example
#241: I am a palidan of Pelor
DM: Pelor? An idol! BURN THE HERITIC!!!
#241: Oh, poopy (or similar curse)
DM: The guard narrows his eyes at you. He is clearly skeptical.
242: Oh shoot...I fireball him!
DM: The door is locked.
242: I cast a sonic bolt through it.
242: Oh no! That vase might fall off the shelf and land on my head! METEOR SWARM!
*cough cough* Guilty.
I am trying to reform, though.#243: The Tactless One: This player will inevitably say the worst thing possible for the situation. Example from my campaign: The party is meeting with a high elven druid who's family was recently slaughtered by undead, and the first words out of the paladin's mouth are, "how are the wife and kids?"
#244: The Out-of-Game Briber: This player gets really good stuff for stuff happening out of game. Blame falls on the DM, too. Actual example: The wizard 2/ranger 2 helps the DM with some major assignment and gets to become a Chosen of Mystra!
#245: The DM Idiot: One wonders how this guy got to be DM. He dumps the characters into a plot way above their level (read: 4th level PCs stopping a 49th-level lich necromancer from becoming a god), he rules that one of the players is a quasi-deity, he does not understand that the seven core races are not the only beings capable of speech (all the dragons we have encountered are strangely mute), he dictates players actions to them ("okay, you think that was fun, so you do it again..." NO! NO!), and he does not know the meaning of "appropriate encounter" and "interspecies relations." An example combining the two terms: Said 4th-level party encounters 50 Aspects of Lloth, and the sun elf (me) gets them to go away with a diplomacy check. :hoppingma
:OMG! :OMG!The one that knows exactly how the dm thinks and exactly how they would set any puzles, know where the traps will be, know when he's bluffing and can get a pretty good guess of what each next encounter will be through intuition.
#247) the lateral thinker (also aka me)
The one who never does what seems to be the usual, obvious way to do something, but instead chooses something obscure, bizzare and somehow effective. Can usually be found flirting with kobolds or trapping spoons.
#248) the one with rampant paranoia (me again i'm afraid)
Whatever character it is, whatever the character's role play is, never trusts any NPC, never turns thier back on anyone, spends all thier cash on ways to survive sneak attacks and be armoured in thier sleep and will NEVER be the one to open a door or walk first down a coridor.
The irritating thing about this particular player is that they have an unerving tendancy to be right most of the time.
Always carries a spare item of feather fall just in case the main one breaks.
that one guy who doesnt understand what his class is supposed to do, and will jump into a losing fight, or will be stupid and not know what they are doing.
DM: okay, you walk in and everyone's attention is on teh bed, which has a zombie lying in it. there is a chest of drawers 5ft from teh end of the bed.
#249 (he is a lvl1 halfling rouge): i wanna seach the chest! but first i wanna check it for traps.
DM: okay...roll it...
#249: natural 20!
DM: you dont find anything, no traps, nothing in the chest of drawers. your turns over.
#249: what?!?
DM: now you have your back to the bed, the zombie takes an attack of opertunity and punches you (its still lying down). *rolls dice* hit! 6 damage!
#249: what!? i only have 2 hp left now!
DM: shouldnt have been stupid enough to not pay attantion the battle sam....
other than that, he jumps into battles immediately w/o stratagy or question (usually at the front of the party), and also calls himself an archer...of which he is not...
Why? To be an effective player of other classes you need to know the rules inside and out. The best mages know thier spellbooks intimately, the best druids know without looking up how long thier wild shift lasts.
I do not.
I'm not quite as stupid as in this example (If you're not going to kill shomething put that sword AWAY.) But to a degree I don't think it's disruptive behavior.
Also I do try to play different fighters, one reason I love 3d edtiion more than 2d... (But that's antoher thread entirely)
#240 The Figthertalogist
When it comes to playing the his one and only class of choice, he can site everything in the PHB between pages 37 and 39. He keeps in his folder twenty different character sheets showing the progression of a CN Greatsword weilding Human Figther from level 1 to 20 for when ever the needs arise. Yet still takes 3 hours to design a new character that is in the end a copy of one already in his folder.
The figthertalogist also will place all levels in figther since they do not know how to, cast spells, prepare spells, rest, rage, sneak attack their way out of a flat footed paper bag, or even think in a creative way. his forest fire.
Thinks that because he can use a longsword, he's a combat machine.
Wether he's sleeping, picking his nose, or digging his ass... he currently has all eyes on him as everyone wonders wtf he does. DND will go no where because this player simply needs everything re-explained to him.
#216 The kobold player.
He loves kobolds and he hates gnomes. Every quest must have killing gnomes written somewhere into it. EVERY QUEST. Usually worships talos, the kobold diety, or no diety. Usually is a sorcerer, cleric, favored soul, warmage, or warlock. This crazy punk hates gnomes, loves killing things, & is choatic nuetral -> choatic evil. Generally has 8 intelligence. This player will sound and speak like a child saying the most idiotic things and constantly saying, "I don't understand the plan." He can only follow two step directions at the most.
the guy who, when rolling up his char., always re-rolls bad stats, claiming "it was a bad roll" or "i messed up, didnt use my lucky dice/it rolled off the table/it rolled off the paper."
#218 the turrasque killer
must ALWAYS over-estimate his power in combat, thinking that if he has this keen, vorpal shortsword that he can take on ANYTHING.
wants to fight the most badass thing every time (is usually a rogue or a small fighter)
219: The "Balance" Fanatic
Constantly complains about the "twinks" and "munchkins in the groupand often wonders aloud when we'll ger around to "real role-playing" instead of "roll-playing," but that's only the icing on the cake:
#219 complains constantly that a particular race, class, feat, spell, or combination of the above is obviously broken, particularly when that option is used more than once by another player. Complains when the Psychic Warrior makes a more efficient "tank" than his Bard, or when the Cleric turns out to be a superior healer than his Wizard. Often makes rude comments about other players, and insists that the other PCs should be cut back to preserve "balance" because he intentionally created a mechanically-inferior character "for roleplaying reasons."
Believes that characters with critical weaknesses in areas vital to their role (Int 11 Wizard, Str 8 Fighter), are more "interesting" than competent characters with weaknesses outside their field of speciality.
As a DM, a #219 is exemplified by a mantra of "core rules only," but has no problem unveiling material from "unbalanced" resources to set against the PCs. Further, characters built to be useless and characters built to be useful will be equally screwed - useless characters because they're helpless, useful characters because #218 feels that the best cure for "munchkinism" is to hammer "twinkish" PCs into the ground with overwhelming force.
#220: The Because Makes the most astonishingly unbalanced character possible, able to kill monsters three to four time his level. Yet maintain his character is not a problem in game, as A): It's legal B): It's normal for him to be that powerfull, you see, his mother was an elder godess and his father an Hecatonshire, and he grew up in an extra-dimensionnal hell having to fight constantly to survive and...
#221: DM Watcher (or, to be less polite, the SOB). This SOB watches the DM like a hawk to make sure he doesn't "cheat" by changing the monsters, making a god loose a fight against another, more powerfull god. (actually happened in a game. Kord and Hextor fought (through their avatars, long story) and Kord whomped Hextor's ass. This dweeb got red and yelled, ranted and spit that according to Deities and demigods, it would not have happenned this way and that the DM was stupid for cheating on a point like this. We threw him out, telling him not to botter coming to the next game. )
#222: The Presumptouus Twink Create the most horribly unbalanced PC, then, when others in the groups complain he's overpowered, complain they just have to make a "playable" PC. Basically, in his bizarre way of "thinking" (sentience remains unproven), anybody not exploiting the rules to their fullest got only themselves to blame when a munch overshadow their PC.
#220: The Because Makes the most astonishingly unbalanced character possible, able to kill monsters three to four time his level. Yet maintain his character is not a problem in game, as A): It's legal B): It's normal for him to be that powerfull, you see, his mother was an elder godess and his father an Hecatonshire, and he grew up in an extra-dimensionnal hell having to fight constantly to survive and...
On this note: #220-B "Backstory Justifies All". As above, but twists the definition of "legal" even further, by trying to include overpowered freebies in his character's backstory:
DM: "Explain this." *points to unexplained advantage*
220B: "Well, if there's a wish spell in my character's backstory-"
DM:
"No."220B: "Hey, you can't blame me for trying..."
DM: "Wanna bet?"
#222: The Presumptouus Twink Create the most horribly unbalanced PC, then, when others in the groups complain he's overpowered, complain they just have to make a "playable" PC. Basically, in his bizarre way of "thinking" (sentience remains unproven), anybody not exploiting the rules to their fullest got only themselves to blame when a munch overshadow their PC.
The worst is when 220, 222 and 219 occupy the same character: insists he's not a twink in any way (and thus that anyone who falls behins him is incompetent), but anyone who comes near or exceeds his level of munchkinnery is obviously broken.
#221: DM Watcher (or, to be less polite, the SOB). This SOB watches the DM like a hawk to make sure he doesn't "cheat" by changing the monsters, making a god loose a fight against another, more powerfull god. (actually happened in a game. Kord and Hextor fought (through their avatars, long story) and Kord whomped Hextor's ass. This dweeb got red and yelled, ranted and spit that according to Deities and demigods, it would not have happenned this way and that the DM was stupid for cheating on a point like this. We threw him out, telling him not to botter coming to the next game. )
The worst is when 220, 222 and 219 occupy the same character: insists he's not a twink in any way (and thus that anyone who falls behins him is incompetent), but anyone who comes near or exceeds his level of munchkinnery is obviously broken.
The funny part about this dweeb: He HONESTLY believe he's not a munchkin. Usually, this sad specimen also genuinly hates munchkins, but can't seem to understand he is one. These guys could easily pass a lie-detector test about it. The sheer dichotomy of these views make my head spin, but not his. It make perfect sense.
The only cure for this kind of behavior is a repeated injection of lead in the cranial area.
He's a greatsword-weilding fighter with no other weapons, he's swung that damn thing five thousand times, his attack and damage bonuses are printed on his character sheet in 24-pt. Helvetica Bold, but he still takes thirty bloody seconds between attacks... all three of them per round. It takes all your strength not to shout out "+8 to hit, 2d6+13 damage, ROLL ALREADY!" every time he languidly looks over his dice, wondering which is the 20-sided one.
#226: The Tortured Soul
His characters always suffer from a horrifying scar, a haunted past, or an otherwise unearned karmic smear that makes them different, outcast, a loner. Maybe the character's face is melted, so he always has to wear a mask... maybe he stutters uncontrollably... maybe he's been run off his own land by his mean family... or probably all three. The living embodiment of Emo.
#227: Mr. Divisive
You run an Evil campaign, he's neutral and halfway through he announces he's tending towards good. You run a Good campaign, he's neutral and says flat out 'just because this is a good campaign doesn't mean I can't be an
.' (This is a verbatim quote from a recent ex-player from my group.) Whatever it is, he's acting against the grain of the party in subtle ways, irritating enough to anger everyone, never blatatant or extreme enough to get killed. A real fun killer.The king: ...so, if you have no more questions, I suggest you get your ugly caracass up and go find me this dragon.
#227: Ugly? Never bothered to lokk at yourself in a mirror, have you?
King: You're insulting me? Beware my wrath...
#227: ::OOG:: Hey, give me a break, I didn't really say that.
#228: The Chosen one This specimen's character are always mentionned in at least 3 prophecies. He was almost always orphanned by treason and raised by elves (don't know why. just elves). He usualy got no personnality appart from being chosen by the gods to save the world...This boring pest usualy expect his "background" (I use the term loosely...) to be used in-game, and is kinda disappointed when nobody gives him preferencial treatments because of his prophetic status. Often won't even write the prophecie, meanning it's your job as a DM to write it... Grr..
#229: TheMy character would have... This guy's PC is THE boy-scout. He would have predicted almost any possible situation and planned accordingly. I said PC, not player. Instead of making the effort to THINK, he assume his PC can't be taken unaware. "My PC would have known/done/not done that" is this *******'s favorite phrase. His most cherished wish is to be able to cause rewinds so that nothing happens to his PC, because he was clearly prepared for this evantuality.
DM: You're in the swamp, trying to catch the Mauheranbian mosquito that's causing a strange illness in the nearby villages. You manage to catch him in your hands. What do you do.
#229: I put him in a glass bottle with a few holes drilled in it for air.
DM: You're a barbarian wearing nothing but a loincloth. did you bring such a bottle?
#229: My PC would have thought of that. He's done adventuring in swamps before.
DM: But you didn't think of it. And YOU are your PC...
#229: Cheat!!
The idea man always thinks his character concept is the greatest concept ever; no matter how cliché, or overused, or just dumb the concept is to everyone else.
230: He's a rogue who is good at sneaking and lying! He's the the most awesome original character ever!
GM: He's a Halfling, right?
230: How'd you know?
DM: Before you stand... (Ok, describe yourself..)
231): I'm a warrior.
DM: Uh, ok, I knew that. But what do you look like?
231): I told you, I'M a warrior.
DM:...
231): What, can't you imagine what a warrior look like? Sheesh...
DM:... (reaming for shotgun)
The Joker
This player finds D&D one long funny story. He won't take any situation seriously, make constant word jokes and quote movies to NPC's.
DM: The figure you see is tall, with a dark hood and a tight leather armour. A black cloak is over his shoulder.
Joker: Hey Darth, what's up?
Funny for a few times, annoying after a while.
The True Roleplayer
The other side of the spectrum. He'll always be in character, wether its during the game or when you meet him in the supermarket. If he's got multiple characters, he'll shift to whatever is appropriate at the time.
Player: I'm gonna get drinks, anyone want anything?
TRP: Dwarven mead!
Player: Heh, sorry, no can do. How about a coke?
TRP: Dwarven mead er nuttin', ye son o' an orc!
Player: Alright, calm down.
TRP: ACH!
The Powerleveller.
Loooves to level up. At least once per evening, else it'd all be for nothing.
When's the next attack? Do I get xp for this? Can we get some tougher enemies for more xp? I want my next level! I get so many cool abilities at my next level! Do I get extra xp if I tie my arms behind my back?
DM's of this variety often haven things like "The gods are pleased with your actions, and grant you greater power. Gain 3 levels."
Shangalangalar
Another version of the twink, or ubermunchkin or whatever. His character is the coolest, most badass person ever. Just read his history (5 pages of the summing of stuff before level 1)
Player: Right, Shangalangalar grew up in the Nine Hells, and was personally tutored by his adoptive father Asmodeus who adopted him because he was born for Evil. Asmodeus taught him everything he knew, but when he was 12 he was captured by demons and was tortured for years. He remembered every torture, and is now a master torturer. He tricked the demons and escaped, and lived with the Drow for years, using his devil honed skills to become a master in the great houses. He then grew tired of the drow, and escaped to the surface where he is now!
Player 2: And he's level 1?
Player: He never fought before!
This guy never washes his hands, and usually has a 1/4 inch layer of cheeto/dorito crumbs over all his fingers. Likes to grab your books and dice and leave his grubby hand prints all over them.
The Klutz
Can't keep anything on the table. Always knocking dice, papers, books, pencils, mini's, etc off the table. Trips over people when getting up to get food or drinks. Trips other people when sitting back down. Always bumping thier heads/arms/legs into things. Usually covered in bruises and band-aids.
The Spiller.
(related to the Klutz, but only with drinks) Can't seem to go a gaming session without spilling 2 drinks on the table. Usually knocks over the 2nd one within minutes of the first spill getting cleaned up. Always drinks sticky drinks with extra vivid stain power.
The "I'll pay you back tomorrow" guy
Never has any money. Always asking for a "loan" for pizza or beer. Always asking to borrow your books and dice too. It's one thing if they are poor, but this guy is usually unemployed and living in his parent's basement.
The "I gotta leave early" guy
Usually a fine player, but always seems to have to leave early, just when the party needs them the most. Usually playing a character that's crucial to the plotline. Also won't let anyone else play their character, so the group can't continue without them.
Simple as that. :D Very hard to be anything but LG around anyone who plays a paladin. Can be horrible if the player plays a paladin only to prevent anybody from being
a rogue and think for himself.
He who ALWAYS tries to focus everything on him. He has the coolest armor, is the natural leader, kills everything that gives XP and of course all money should be his. We are only his loyal sidekicks... That's about the time that you recall where the Gelanious cube + bullrush combo was coming from.
This person insists on coming up with the weirdest character concepts (and, depending on acting ability, might actually be able to make them work). He's probably played a half-orc bard, a multiclassed paladin/assassin, or a kobold Frenzied Berserker. This guy is to a Human fighter as vampires are to sunlight...
And I forgot last time:
The DM
What, you got two DM's? Nope, but this guy really thinks he is it. He doesn't correct the DM as such, he just comes up with his own NPC's to talk to, then proceeds to roll his own DC's. He might just give himself a quest while the rest is in stunned silence.
(I actually had a guy like this in the group, he suddenly met a wizard and wanted to go off to adventure on his own, but remaining in the game)
The Odd Character Concept Guy
This person insists on coming up with the weirdest character concepts (and, depending on acting ability, might actually be able to make them work). He's probably played a half-orc bard, a multiclassed paladin/assassin, or a kobold Frenzied Berserker. This guy is to a Human fighter as vampires are to sunlight...
I wouldn't call that a bad player type, as long as it makes sense. It's about the same as saying that a Dwarven Barbarian/Berserker (like my group has) is a bad thing since Dwarves are usually lawful.
If someone comes up with a good reason why her Half-Orc is a Bard (for instance, she likes the sound of music and aspires to be good at it as well, bit like Idols :P) I would think that's a good thing.
(Actual size)This player insists on buying the smallest dice she can find and frequently sits at the far end of the table from the DM. Durring the course of the campaign, she will continue to have unbelievable luck on attack rolls, damage rolls, and anything else that just might require her to use these microscopic dice. It's impossible to know if she's cheating, because, while you can look at the die result, you've forgotten to bring you high-powered electron microscope to the game once again, and just can't see those damnable tiny numbers.
The Paladin
Simple as that. :D Very hard to be anything but LG around anyone who plays a paladin. Can be horrible if the player plays a paladin only to prevent anybody from being
a rogue and think for himself.
very hard to do anything around a paladin? Wrongo, bub. Granted, the paladin's not gonna want anything to do with anything even hinting of the barest evil, but that's HIS problem, not yours.
Player 1: So, instead of paying our guide his share of the 1000 000 Gp we found, let's slit his throat...
Paladin: (in a rigthous voice) No. It would be an evil cat. I won't allow it as long ...
Player 2: Too bad for you, pally. I'm slitting his throat.
Paladin: You miscreant, I'll...
Player 3: You'll shut up and play along. You can't take all of us at once. So shove it. You don't like it, go away
always remember that YOU have a right to roleplay your character too. no need to be especially nice just because a paladin happens to tag along. HE's the one under a code, not you. HE's the one who should suffer for it, not you.
Guess I'm irremidiably evil...
You're right, your character can do what he wants. But, the Paladin should fight to the death to stop you.
Or, like most viable and fun paladin I've seen, try to preach by exemple. I once saw a paladin offer part of his share of the loot so we wouldn't kill the prisonniers. In effect, the captured foes became his share. THAT had class. And we ended up toning things down because we respected this paladin.
Guess my point was that the PALADIN should be hampered by his code, not the PARTY.
The DM
You may be DMing the campaign, but somewhere, sometime he has DMed something else... and will never again see himself as anything less than 'superior' to the rest of the players. beware if you, the actual DM, were in one of his/her campaigns! if this is the case, be prepared for him to tell you (out loud and in front of the other players) what every DC should be, why your NPCs and villains do not make sense, and my favorite, wait for him to start asking for saves from the other PCs, oh, on your behalf... of course.
... not fun.
And, BTW - there is something wrong with ain't. It's a contraction. That, by itself, is no big deal. But, quick now- can you tell me, without looking it up, what it's a contraction of?
"Ain't" is a contraction of "is not". And before you say anything, changing "is" into "ai" makes as much sense as changing "will" into "wo" for "won't".
#247: The Devil's Advocate. Has a tendency to argue against the last person to speak, balancing all viewpoints in an argument. Called a flip-flopper in politics and a tolerant, fair-minded person everywhere else.
sorry if someone already posted this one, but i think the list would stop being funny if i read all eight pages of it..
You have no idea how right you are... I just read all eight pages in one sitting, it is now 1 in the morning. Halfway through the thread I started talking about my sanity leaking out my ears... I'm not quite sure what the point of this is, I guess the moral of the story is: never read eight pages of a thread in one sitting!
The Copy Cat
Their the one who copies one of the players roleplaying
Example
Me: I give 10 gold to the ciy coffers to try and help the kingdom before the enemy invades
Copycat: Oh uh i do that too
Another example
Bard:I attempt to seduce the barmaid
Copycat:I try to!(low ranks of diplomacy)
1) Role-plays
2) Doesn't role-play
3) Loves combat
4) Hates combat
5) Takes the game seriously
6) Doesn't take the game seriously
7) Doesn't create typical characters
8) Doesn't create odd characters
And the list goes on... ;)
She's there because her boyfriend dragged her there and she decided "why not?" when asked if she played. Spends all her time asking stupid questions because she doesn't know the rules, distracts the boyfriend, tries to mold her character into soemthing cutesy, and (worst of all) causes public displays of affection with the boyfriends which is incredibly rude to the rest of us geeks who have never touched a real woman. :D
Player #2,493 - The Obtuse One.
Player immediately derails your plan of action, no matter what, for no other reason than to watch you (the DM ) scramble.
King's messenger: The king would like to meet you at the Bumbling Bullette tonight at midnight. He has a special request regarding the bandits to the east.
Player: I kill him. Does he have any gold? No? Ok, we travel west. What happens?
Player #2,494 - The Hot Chick.
Believe it or not, this mythical creature DOES exist. Unfortunately, she causes complete game breakdown because all other PC/players defer to her at the drop of a flask.
Hot PC: I'll throw my dart at the Tarrasque.
Dolt PC #1: Good job! I'll do that too!
Dolt PC #2: Yeah, great choice. I'll drop to the ground to make sure I'mnot in the path of the dart.
Dolt PC #3: I'll run at the creature and try to get her dart back once it hits!
Dolt Pc #4: (said by the out-of-game player) huh huh huh....you sure are pretty....
Player #2,495 - The jerk playing the 2nd ed Cavalier.
'Nuff said.
This is the war history buff whose conversation on the topic reveals that his interest lies solely in the amount of explosions and naked breasts shown in popular Holywood movies.
He is a Manly Chivalrous Man who constantly "protects" the ladies in the group and honestly believes they are the fairer sex. This carries over into his treatment of his girlfriend, whom he constantly interrupts the session to fight with loudly over the phone. As well, he likes to interrupt the game to make racist comments (although apparently dead baby jokes are Not Cool(tm)). Thank goodness he doesn't bring his music to the session, or you would be stuck listening to gangsta rap and really bad euro club dance.
"Gord" is also a Neverwinter Nights freak, and every conversation must include a reference to his character(s), his clan, someone he hates on a server, or how his plans for building his own are going. He is oblivious to the complete apathy of those subjected to his monologues, and will go on at length although your eyes have clearly been glazed over for the past 10 minutes.
Used to the idea of alts, or MUPs, or whatever they're called on NWN, he cannot make up his mind what character he wants to play, and will change his mind only once every two sessions, if you're lucky. He also tries to gear his characters towards being able to win in PvP -- except, being used to NWN rules and a CRPG, he can't actually sit still for five minutes to read the Player's Handbook in order to build his own character, let alone do so competently. He tries to call on party members nonetheless, and always gets killed. He then heartily whines about it for two weeks, accusing the other players of metagaming. Anyone who does anything he doesn't like is, in fact, metagaming.
Also, "Gord" thinks DnD is not fun unless he is totally kicking ass. Challenging fights? Again, whining for a week. He plays with the cheat codes on and pouts if it's hard, let alone if he "loses".
"Gord" has a further nasty habit of borrowing items -- dice, books, food, whatever -- and "forgetting" to return them later. He also conveniently "forgets" commitments or promises made, and sometimes you might even suspect him of telling untruths, were he not such an Upstanding Manly Chivalrous Man.
Eventually, "Gord" will become distraught at his inability to pwnz0r everyone's DnD character, as this clearly means in his mind that he has a smaller, ahm, "piece of equipment" than the other guys (girls don't count, remember!), and his ego cannot bear to be outdone. After one too many times of calling on the wrong PC, he will be asked politely to leave the group and not return.
One and a half weeks later, he will call that player's girlfriend and try to weasel his way back into the group with pathetic attempts at flattery, bribery, statements of questionable truth, and misplacing the blame.
Three days after that, he will give up and go back to his sad, pathetic little life, and the sole reason he will be missed is because the group feels sorry for his girlfriend and her son. (Technically he contributed DNA too, but he doesn't do much more than coo at the kid once or twice a week, although he never ceases complaining about how hard it is to be a parent.)
1) throwing selves out a second story window (at first level) to avoid capture (the players had been trying to prove who was the best lock pick, despite that their characters had identical stats). The damage dropped them unconcious, so my monk (who was in the middle of dinner) had to run outside to drag them away from the guards.
2) one shot the other (critical fumble), who promptly fell off the barn roof, onto the shooter. Both were disabled, leaving my monk to deal with the approaching goblins (bloody handy ranged support they were).
3) one thought that the best retreat from another group of goblins was up a tree. of course, my monk almost got killed trying to rescue his unconcious body from the base of the tree.
This guy wants to do what he wants to do, and he wants to do it now. He believes that every action his character could possibly undertake is more or less instantaneous. He sometimes likes to strategize at length with his fellow characters during six-second combat rounds, or make detailed negotations with enemies between sword clashes. He has plenty of time to rest up for hitpoints and spells even when his task necessitates immediate action. If his character has any sort of item crafting ability, this player becomes very, very frustrated. The host of my last D&D game got so upset that his engineer couldn't go out into the forest with nothing but a hand axe and construct a catapult in the 5 minutes it took the other characters to speak with an NPC that he quit the game.
#2498 Homebrew
Homebrew is a variation of the classic rules lawyer. While he can recall every rule in the PHB or DMG on a dime, he uses his knowledge to try to convince the DM to modify the rules in his favor rather than monitoring every roll and calculation and ensuring that it adheres strictly to the published materials, as the classic lawyer does. While Homebrew often has much more power to disrupt the game when he's a DM, he causes plenty of annoyance as a player. Long negotations regarding the rules for his race and class precede almost every campaign. Once actually in the game, Homebrew will often contest those rules he finds distasteful as they become relevant to his character's situation. He thinks that his plate armor should mitigate some of the damage that just killed him, or that a certain monster should be either less powerful or have provided him with better treasure once dead. Some varities of Homebrew will lodge a polite protest to the DM and continue on with the game, while others will refuse to play if you don't add a +2 INT bonus to their elf's attributes or do allow that lucky little kobold to kill their paladin. Homebrew may honestly believe that the rule modifications he proposes makes sense, but they almost always either work to the benefit of their character of the detriment of its enemies.
I have an NPC Gnome that will often do that, but know that he doesnt fight in combat or anything. He records the parties journey's in his book, and during combat he is usually writing the whole thing down furiously in his book. But afterwards, he goes to town on whatever they killed.
Here are some of mine...
I dont know my stats
The player who has his Stength score of 12 with a +4 modifier.
I've got the worst example of this, a player with a Dex of 12 (+1) mod, Cha of 12 (+1) and a Wis of 12 (+2). GRRRRR
2499: The "I don't have a PHB, can I borrow yours?"
Not Remotely Cool
2500: The "I've been playing dnd for 3 years now but I still don't have any dice! Gimme some!"
Not good either
2501: The equipment junkie
It's d20 modern, but I've seen a kid argue with the dm for an hour over whether or not his PDA was half a pound or a whole pound, "I've got one at home that weighs that much!"
"Two Finger"
For the same reason that the last 'person' didn't get capitals in their name, this guy was my brother's first DM who taught him first with an offshoot sort of version of 2nd edition. While the version was okay - would look familiar to anyone who's played Baldur's Gate, except using 'Positive rolls are better' like 3rd Edition - this guy, simply put, was not.
Every GM character was a halfling. Only halflings were attractive. Halflings got a +40 to attacks because they are halflings. Halflings get a +500 to AC because they are halflings, and thus impossible to hit. These are of course level 1 characters, who are of course lv 50 because they are halflings and thus favoured by all the gods. He only gave you bonuses - insane godlike bonuses - if you were a halfling. Or if you made a complete wanker of yourself, for example by Quote: "jerking off in the corner while everyone else fights". You may get some favouritsm if you are a dwarf or gnome, but don't count on it.
You also have to be evil - ESPECIALLY if you're a Paladin - or else he tries to kill you with every enemy available (in other words halflings). The one advantage is that you can give yourself a +2 bonus to all your abilities between sessions and he wouldn't notice (obviously cause he's sucking on a halfings--- i'll stop there). Oh, and if you're an elf, you MUST be female and blonde. And wear leather armour. If you have any form of advantage in gameplay, that doesn't involve being a halfling (or similar small hairy creatures -- see above) these few advantages will not be applicable. Especially strenght affecting damage.
One good thing about all this was when this guy was playing a Gnome Illusionist in someone else's campaign. This DM (the other guy) then played in a game by the only person of the group who my brother and I still have contact with, and was constantly being seduced by a certain 'beautiful young woman', who in reality was a gay Gnome Ilusionist turned around to make his dick go brown. Now we never trust Gnome Illusionists.
2503 - Can't Add
This guy might not have been so bad at playing... if he could add small numbers together.
Me (DM): Roll for damage with your (whatever he was using)
Him: *rolls d8 or something* 5.
Me: And your strength mod?
Him: Um..... what's 5 + 1?
No offense, he's a great guy, but he just didn't have a head for the game. Of course, it was a completely original system by yours trully, which has since been scrapped, revamped, and scrapped again. This was all before I was playing D&D, too.
2504 - DBZ Dragonboy Ninja
This guy is obsessed about Dragons. Not so bad in itself, though I let him do something stupid like being a Ninja WereDragon test-tube uber-human thing. It wasn't so bad because I didn't give him much more than +4 bonus to physical stats in 1-100 lv game system (the very same one that I scrapped/revamped/scrapped) and we were all lv 20 anyway, but I really should have taken into acount level adjustments. Also, I let him have a good template that allowed teleportation to avoid a hit... with no limits on use or power or anything. That was about when I borrowed my friend's 3.0 edition book, and my god how things have changed.
He's the sort of person who has to be the coolest. His final fantasy game had his character as the star, and he was a weretiger half-dragon (no idea what class he was). Mind you, one guy played a Turk, and I played a drow-werewolf ninja. But you really have to watch this guy when allowing really cool combos. Or have faults in your system.
4505 - Fire Theif
This guy is obsessed with fire, and will be eager to burn anything that moves.
He will also loot EVERY body we leave. Even if he doesn't need it. ESPECIALLY if he's on the other side of the room with us between him and said loot.
THE WORLD's AGAINST ME or MY LIFE AS AN ADVENTURER IS SIMPLY UNFAIRE
always complaining about his/her situation
never satisfied
king or queen of jealousy
always critical on the other's choices of actions
the only one who's never given anything or a faire share of the treasury
the poorer or the one with the worst equipement (or so he/she says)
always first on the heaviest and biggest treasure chest (even when not playing a rogue)
always first to receive rewards or whenever the group's treasure is being divided
always arguing on prices (even with an awful rank in Appraise)
always full of incredible surprises and tricks whenever something weird happens to him "I honestly don't know how this wand of mighty fireballs finished in my hands but it sure did help us...oh...you were all caught in the blast, well sorry...if only someone had healing potions (while gently tapping on his/her belt and smiling like an imbecile), I certainly don't have any...
"or the usual : "Of course I do need this Ring of Protection +3 I only have Bracers of Defense +2 and he doesn't need it anyway he has spells to help him out and he as lots of resistance... What ? Sell my Bracers ? Are you maaaaad...."
always has in hand the "mysterious - hard to discover - incredible - difficult to found" object the group has been desperately looking for and as usual playing the innocent victim..."but...but how was I supposed to know this was the object we were looking for...
"ALWAYS THE INNONCENT VICTIM (whatever the situation is) !!!!!
would backstab anyone in the group just to get his/her hands on the "lovely, shining and precious piece of equipement that should really belong to meeeee..."
AAAAAARFFF...ENOUGH SAID...ANOTHER PAIN IN THE *cough cough* TO ANY DM AND SHOULD BE BANNED FROM ANY CONVENTION, SESSION, GROUP OR WHATEVER...
This guy isn't so bad to have in a game, because he's really good in combat, but there is one thing.
Diplomacy.
No matter what the situation, this guy will make a Diplomacy check.
I had a d20 Modern/Fantasy game with this guy.
We were trying to sneak up on a rafter to gather information when we spotted a Half-Dragon (Red. Worse? We were 1st and 4th level. Our 3rd level guy was in a cell. Set-up of the room? HUGE table in the middle, with EVIL diplomats all around.)
Anyway, I failed my Move Silently check and he heard me.
Immediately, he took out two pistols and killed every single diplomat in the room.
I dropped down from the rafter, and unloaded on him. Not to my surprise, he lived.
Meanwhile, good guy drops down, walks up to him, and is taken as a human shield. He makes a Diplomacy check.
The GM that day didn't even know about opposing checks. He basically told the good guy that he was now friendly to him, and they started chatting.
After that, random events occurred which basically consisted of the Half-Dragon and the good guy leaving, and then chatting for about 5 minutes.
(Me: Helloooooo? Hellllllllooooooooo?
)After that, it turned out that the good guy was a werebear.
With no LA.
This GM had no concept of the rules whatsoever.
I was so ******-off, that a blew in the door to my other teammates cell with a grenade, and shoved one down his throat.
He turned out to be a vampire, who even though would have been reduced to -27 hitpoints, went to gaseous form and his coffin, ruled by the GM, 7500 miles away.
The session basically ended then, with me doing nothing while the good guy and the Half-Dragon talked about their inner feelings.
sorry if this has been repeated...
always wants to play a ninja or a samurai, or a half demon, or any combo of the 3.
thinks katanas go shaaa-ping and can cut through buildings and have 18-20 crit with a times 5 modifier.
always talks about anime out of character, wastes a lot of time
reading mangas when he/she is supposed to be playing
the movie junkie
will talk about the latest movies during the game and loves to use ghostbusters and starwars quotes when every time he gets the chance
and finaly, the guy with the cell phone......enough said
Player: I cast scrying.
Me: Um, you are third level. You can't cast that spell.
Player: Yes I can. I have Int 18, therefore I have a 4th-level bonus spell.
Me: :headbang
XX+1: The emotional wimp.
The party is confronting a hostile psion who they know likes energy rays. The psion runs down a tunnel.
Player: I send my raven after the psion.
Me: The psion fries your familiar.
Player: I thought I asked you to not to be evil!
This obnoxious person complains on the message boards about the slightest flaw someone in his/her group might have, while remaining utterly ignorant of his/her own bad habits
The 'Hot Stuff' Player
This type of character is a female bard, hardly decent with clothing, 2 whips. No proficiency with whips. You figure the rest.
*Snap!*
Yes, there's one in my party. *so embarrassed...*
4. Why are you guys so ?
You all know this guy. He's the one who gets himself and the party in trouble, and can't understand why the other characters and/or players are upset with him. His usual excuse, every time is 'I was playing in character' but he doesn't understand that the other players are upset with him 'in character' as well.
Because we have this guy....
He'd be a good roleplayer if he were'nt so annoying. (Yes, his new character a paladin of tyranny with the paranoid and abbrasive traits. He spent about half the last session torturing a pc for information. It was good character play, but annoying for everybody.)
2518 - Metakiller
DM-The man tells you that the odd creature is under his charm spell and won't attack.
player-So he's a wizard?
DM-What do you think. He could be anything that casts charm like spells.
player-what lv is he?
DM-this isn't Final Fantasy you can't scan him.
player-I attack and try to kill him so I can rob his stuff.
2519- The expert problem solver.
DM -There's ceramic blocks on the table before you. There's also holes in the wall ahead that are about the size of the blocks.
Player-I smash the blocks. I smash the table. I smash the holes.
The Auditor:
Don't let this guy see your character sheet. Audits other players to-hit bonuses, skill points, anything he can. Makes sure to let the DM know who's character is out of whack and suggests where you should make the adjustments.
Not sure if I missed this one....
The Auditor:
Don't let this guy see your character sheet. Audits other players to-hit bonuses, skill points, anything he can. Makes sure to let the DM know who's character is out of whack and suggests where you should make the adjustments.
I think I'm missing something, because how is this a bad thing? If you can't figure your AC for squat and for some reason you have +46 to knowledge: nature as a 10th level sorcerer, then someone should rightly tell you that you figured your math wrong. And if you refuse to change, why would he not tell the DM?
I think I'm missing something, because how is this a bad thing? If you can't figure your AC for squat and for some reason you have +46 to knowledge: nature as a 10th level sorcerer, then someone should rightly tell you that you figured your math wrong. And if you refuse to change, why would he not tell the DM?
He would be a problem if he did it all the time, whenever players roll.
DM: 'Spot-checks, please.'
P1: 'I rolled a 17, with my spot that'd be...'
Aud: '24, and for P2 with his 12 that'd be 13, and for P3 with his 9 that'd be 13.'
As for miscalculations in AC or skills or whatever, I'd say that's why the DM should review the char-sheets first and keep notes of himself. I don't need the player next to me peering at my sheet every five minutes to make sure I've got everything tallied correctly.
Well, this person may be an auditor, but he is almost certainly the dude who tried to play everyone else's characters. I know; i'm like that much of the time. Rather, i get really obsessive-compulsive about character builds but i don't really care about in-character actions. Other players know that i can give them advice on a build because i get all oc about reading all the material and knowing my options, but i have this tendency to go overboard with it.
I am currently playing in a group with an anime fangirl, who insists on playing a water genasi for the blue hair and doesn't understand level adjustments. Also an rp snob, a sociopath, and the rules lawyer/powergamer played by yours truly. So we're a pretty disfunctional group.
basically #66 but he has no idea how to roleplay, always says stupid things not related to the game, and is overall just really annoying. he's the player you want bad things to happen to but they just seem to get out of everything with their amazing dice rolls.
2516 (there's a heck of a lot of characters here!)
The 'Hot Stuff' Player
This type of character is a female bard, hardly decent with clothing, 2 whips. No proficiency with whips. You figure the rest.
*Snap!*
Yes, there's one in my party. *so embarrassed...*
Just curious.. But don't 3.5 Bards have Whip proficiency? =)
retarded-evil dice jesus
basically #66 but he has no idea how to roleplay, always says stupid things not related to the game, and is overall just really annoying. he's the player you want bad things to happen to but they just seem to get out of everything with their amazing dice rolls.
Are you implying that Jesus was retarded, evil, and annoying?
(J/k)
The player that happily asks to be included in your group, and spends the whole time making everyone else feel stupid for playing. It's the only reason he wanted in, anyway.
#2524 No Idle Hands
Can not keep still without their hands doing something, be it twirling a pensil or tossing dice up into the air. Has a tendancy to drop whatever it is they are fiddling around with and have it roll under a table/chair/couch.
Yeshiva Bocher
The key sign is that he wears a skullcap ALL THE TIME. Doesn't talk about his faith all the time, but he practices it. Almost ALWAYS creates good characters, loves the BoED, and (this is the annoying bit) ALWAYS gives his characters Hebraic names. On the good side, he is likely to have critical sections of the books memorized (such as common weapon stats, low-level spells, and important class abilities) so he doesn't need to check the books a lot. Best part, his characters are NEVER out of control sexually.
A female version could easily exist. Not as easy to recognise, since she won't wear a skullcap.
And this one as well:
Unconscious munchkin:
Both better and worse than normal munchkins. It's in his blood. Signs include maxing out skills, picking deities for their favored weapons. Usually sticks with core material and one or two supplements. Example: aasimar paladin with the aasimar feat chains from Races of Faerun and later Sanctify Martial Strike from BoED.
Here are some of my horrible player types on this thread: [b]1001 Simple-Minded Player Types[/b]
Feel free to sign up--accounts are free--and player-bash(the bad player-types)!
Luminosity, I am "borrowing" your "gender bender" type(photo and all) and adding it to the list at the other site; it is hilarious!
~~~
#110- But I rolled it! Variation of above, 10th level barbarian with 18 con, 18 str and 18 dex (I rolled them, honestly!!!) Total hit points 167, I rolled max 9 times, and I really rolled it, the other time I didn't get max, just an 11 out of 12.
I am no longer allowed to roll dice one at a time for this reason. My scores are not THAT bad, but are invariably all 14+ with the 3d6 system. If I don't roll 18 at least once (naturally), it was a complete suprise.
I am the rules lawyer, mainly because I have been doing this since I was 7, and own most of the books merely because I like reading the stuff. I don't offer, but the munchkin in the group keeps wanting to borrow my books. Then the DM asks me if he should let the munchkin have "x-feat". Not my fault, really.
Haven't read ALL the entries yet, but I would like to add myself to the group:
#Whatever yer on:
Anti-munchkin. Will take odd races/abilities/feats/skills/classes for almost no apparent reason. Not to say it is done without thought, since there is usually a LOT of thought into creating the character, and she knows what she is doing. Just will offer penalties to her own character in order to be allowed to play as such.
Example:
My last character was a PsyWar Naga (OA) Chameleon, who was intentionally using 2 legs to hide her heritage from the other characters (and taking the penalty for it), and was trying to use crystal weapons master PrC in unarmed combat. Took a ECL penalty for the class, as well. Silly, but I was just having fun.
This one is me:
Yeshiva Bocher
The key sign is that he wears a skullcap ALL THE TIME. Doesn't talk about his faith all the time, but he practices it. Almost ALWAYS creates good characters, loves the BoED, and (this is the annoying bit) ALWAYS gives his characters Hebraic names. On the good side, he is likely to have critical sections of the books memorized (such as common weapon stats, low-level spells, and important class abilities) so he doesn't need to check the books a lot. Best part, his characters are NEVER out of control sexually.
A female version could easily exist. Not as easy to recognise, since she won't wear a skullcap.
And this one as well:
Unconscious munchkin:
Both better and worse than normal munchkins. It's in his blood. Signs include maxing out skills, picking deities for their favored weapons. Usually sticks with core material and one or two supplements. Example: aasimar paladin with the aasimar feat chains from Races of Faerun and later Sanctify Martial Strike from BoED.
Yipes. From "On the good side" on you give a near-perfect description of me with those archetypes. Take down your hidden cameras!
The Motormouth Utterly incapable of being quiet. Is talking as he walks in the door, continues to talk throughout the game, interrupts the DM, interrupts the other players, is still talking as he leaves. 95% of what he says has absolutely nothing to do with the game.
The Foul Mouth Every other word is the F-word. Goes out of his way to insert raunchy jokes, usually at the expense of other players. Closely related to this one is:
One Track Mind Thinks his character is god's gift to womenkind. If it's female, he hits on it (even if it's the BBEG!) and persists until he succeeds. Almost certainly has never "scored" in RL.
The Samurai Worshipper Has seen far too many Grade-B kung fu movies. Thinks a katana should be able to slice through *anything* with one swipe -- stone, adamantium, a dragon's torso, a mountain ...
#2496, I think) "Gord"
This is the war history buff whose conversation on the topic reveals that his interest lies solely in the amount of explosions and naked breasts shown in popular Holywood movies.
He is a Manly Chivalrous Man who constantly "protects" the ladies in the group and honestly believes they are the fairer sex. This carries over into his treatment of his girlfriend, whom he constantly interrupts the session to fight with loudly over the phone. As well, he likes to interrupt the game to make racist comments (although apparently dead baby jokes are Not Cool(tm)). Thank goodness he doesn't bring his music to the session, or you would be stuck listening to gangsta rap and really bad euro club dance.
"Gord" is also a Neverwinter Nights freak, and every conversation must include a reference to his character(s), his clan, someone he hates on a server, or how his plans for building his own are going. He is oblivious to the complete apathy of those subjected to his monologues, and will go on at length although your eyes have clearly been glazed over for the past 10 minutes.
Used to the idea of alts, or MUPs, or whatever they're called on NWN, he cannot make up his mind what character he wants to play, and will change his mind only once every two sessions, if you're lucky. He also tries to gear his characters towards being able to win in PvP -- except, being used to NWN rules and a CRPG, he can't actually sit still for five minutes to read the Player's Handbook in order to build his own character, let alone do so competently. He tries to call on party members nonetheless, and always gets killed. He then heartily whines about it for two weeks, accusing the other players of metagaming. Anyone who does anything he doesn't like is, in fact, metagaming.
Also, "Gord" thinks DnD is not fun unless he is totally kicking ass. Challenging fights? Again, whining for a week. He plays with the cheat codes on and pouts if it's hard, let alone if he "loses".
"Gord" has a further nasty habit of borrowing items -- dice, books, food, whatever -- and "forgetting" to return them later. He also conveniently "forgets" commitments or promises made, and sometimes you might even suspect him of telling untruths, were he not such an Upstanding Manly Chivalrous Man.
Eventually, "Gord" will become distraught at his inability to pwnz0r everyone's DnD character, as this clearly means in his mind that he has a smaller, ahm, "piece of equipment" than the other guys (girls don't count, remember!), and his ego cannot bear to be outdone. After one too many times of calling on the wrong PC, he will be asked politely to leave the group and not return.
One and a half weeks later, he will call that player's girlfriend and try to weasel his way back into the group with pathetic attempts at flattery, bribery, statements of questionable truth, and misplacing the blame.
Three days after that, he will give up and go back to his sad, pathetic little life, and the sole reason he will be missed is because the group feels sorry for his girlfriend and her son. (Technically he contributed DNA too, but he doesn't do much more than coo at the kid once or twice a week, although he never ceases complaining about how hard it is to be a parent.)
A tad bit bitter, are we? ^^
Now for GMs:
The Nerf the party tank GM - While this may be a good thing sometimes, (player in question, while character is optimized for combat, is also a good and understanding roleplayer with an interesting character that DOESN'T overshadow the party.) Said character is always hit in combat by random mooks when he has a 31 AC (is level 18, so that's not so incredable) while other characters in group battle BBEG and don't get hit ONCE with ACs ranging from 18-25. Character also has evasion, makes save for half damage, reminds GM that he takes no damage, and Gm announces "Oh, In that case you failed, take 36 points of damage.
Number fudger GM - All damage taken is in multiples of 5, or is a number ending with 6 (36, 26, 16, 46, 56).
Paladin: (in a rigthous voice) No. It would be an evil cat. I won't allow it as long ...
Sorry to bring up this typo, but it's funny.
Every other sentance is a joke, right up to having his bard play one of the Queen songs as they enter the royal court.
The triger happy
Will shout "Fireball!" in a 5ft wide corridor in the middle of marching order and mean it.
The Old timer
He's been a playing since version1 and refers to everithin as earlier versions. Theves, fumble charts, monsters that no-longer exist.
The fan club member
Wants to re wright the stats of his favourate monster (often drow) so their ECL is at least 20. Then play one.
Session Exceprt
DM: You investigate the noise in the bushes and see that it was created by a mundane squrriel.
Pyro: I throw alchemests fire on it!
DM: You incenerate the poor squrriel, and set the surrounding vegitation on fire.
Pyro: Woo hoo! I use burning hands on the squrriel carcas!
DM: But it is already on fire!
who believe their character to be the best, and so use threats to get you to do what they want.
for example, sorcerer tells the rogue. jump over that 10foot spiked pit, past the half-dragon vampire lord to get me that torch of everburning flame, or ill set your face on fire.
the annoying bit is they werent joking, they wanted the rogue to do so. the rogue did what any good rogue would, gave the sorcerer the finger. and dm stopped the face burning.
these players should be shot
Our the whining warrior (I often whine or take a way around battle, but suddently there is battle anyway)
those control freaks
who believe their character to be the best, and so use threats to get you to do what they want.
for example, sorcerer tells the rogue. jump over that 10foot spiked pit, past the half-dragon vampire lord to get me that torch of everburning flame, or ill set your face on fire.
the annoying bit is they werent joking, they wanted the rogue to do so. the rogue did what any good rogue would, gave the sorcerer the finger. and dm stopped the face burning.
these players should be shot
Particularly when said player goes to great lengths to create a character background/motivation so that "that is what my character would do" and, as the player is the best optimizer of the bunch, really can bully other characters around when the mood strikes him, with no fear for the consequences. Should the DM take action the cries of "foul" can be deafening.
"I have to play something not in the core books like a half dragon, half celestial, werewolf mindflaying drow." The "stupid race player"
or
"I have 5 fighter, 10 rogue, 2 monk, 3 prestige class 1, 2 prestige class 2, ect.." The "Too many classes power munchin"
or
"I cry irl, throw books, dice and tantrams whenever something bad happens to my character." The "Whiner"
"I have to play something not in the core books like a half dragon, half celestial, werewolf mindflaying drow." The "stupid race player"
Despite the fact that all of those are in the core books, I have had one of those... combined with the power-munchkin and the coach. Fortunately the whiner grew up a lot between 14 and 16.
One class wonder: Picks one class, picks one or two good abilities from that class, and can't do anything but that. For example, the druid in my game. A ^&@%&@#^*% call lightning machine, with a WEASEL for a familiar because "you should see its stats!"
Chaotic stupid barbarian: GURR I KILL THINGS. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that he has 9 INT. This is below average, but not so stupid that he just kills things and argues with everyone. Keep in mind that he's LE, and apparently thinks that evil is "kill and argue with everything".
Let me tell a story that involves both of them at their best. We were in some kind of desert plane, and I left for a second for the bathroom. When I get back, the party is in a bar fight.
Me: ...wtf?
Apparently what happened was that the bartender threw some insult at the barbarian (who at this point was either chaotic good or chaotic neutral, I can't remember, probably neutral) and he started a fist fight. The rest of the party tried to break it up, but he had gone into a rage and reasoned that he couldn't listen to reason. All this time we're worried about getting found out, because we were supposed to be operating covertly, and we weren't exactly common to begin with.
Druid: Okay, I'm going to wildshape into a [insert snake creature here]
Me and the cleric: ???!?!?
I'm so glad that game is over.
#21 - Stereotype: Regardless of races all his characters are stereotypes of the wors sorts. Every elf is a tree hugging archer and every dwarf is an alcoholic, greedy, bull headed fighter.
When he played/read Dragonlance add crazy inventor gnome and kleptomanic halfling to the list.
My roommate does this, but instead of racial stereotypes it's class stereotypes. EVERY cleric has to be a turn-undead god, must only prepare healing spells, and of course, must be a gnome. They just don't work any other way. A figher who specializes in ranged weapons? That just won't work, because fighters have to be dwarves with axes or humans with greatswords! Is convinced that his druid is no good because there aren't any animals to handle. Wait, I can use my other skills? Even when I'm in a dungeon? ACK! It's so annoying to talk about character concepts with this one.
This is ther gamer that tries to have a hand in everything, instead of just letting the action spread out amonhgst the party. He's the one checking doors... no, wait.... he's checking that chest.... no, wait.... he's attacking that monster..... no, wait.... you get the idea.
".....and for my 36th action this round..."
This is ther gamer that tries to have a hand in everything, instead of just letting the action spread out amonhgst the party. He's the one checking doors... no, wait.... he's checking that chest.... no, wait.... he's attacking that monster..... no, wait.... you get the idea.
This is also the same guy who takes 527 free actions in a round...
Player #2,494 - The Hot Chick.
If it wasn't for "The Hot Chick" and "The Girlfriend," most gamer geeks would never get any...just remember that.
some of my pet peeves are...
(+) The Drama King/Queen:
This guy or girl always has to be the center of attention, and if they aren't they create some sort of drama to attract attention to themselves. These fall into two categories in my experience: (a) the "Class Clown" who drops roleplaying in favor of saying any insult, expletive, or dirty joke that comes into his head and pretending it's what his character would really do in the situation just to get laughs; (b) the "Whiner," this player, usually female, is always feeling sick, or got hurt somehow or has something wrong with them that they want everyone to feel sorry for and they bring it up at every opportunity.
example:
DM:"We're not going to use mini's tonight because Will is sick and he has our battlemap
"The Whiner": "Well that's good, my back hurts too much for me to reach across the table and move them."
(interestingly enough, the "Loudmouth" and "Whiner" in my group are husband and wife)
Also applies to anyone who causes relationship drama within the group that winds up interfering with play.
(+) The DM who wishes he was playing
You know him, he's the guy that makes broken NPCs that the players have to make friends with because they can't fight the monsters without their help.
(+) The "Knight in Shining Armor"
A bit like "Gord," this guy is a great roleplayer, but he insists on treating all female characters as if they were delicate flowers who need protecting and often has to be beat or shocked into submission by female PC's who are sick of him trying to keep them out of the action.
(+) "I'm too shy to hit on you, but my shadowmage isn't too shy to hit on your hot druid"
I don't mind gamer guys flirting with me outside of them game. In fact, if you ask me out I'm likely to say yes...but back up off my characters, dude. I'm tired of making my characters lesbian, married, or part of some vestal virgins type society just to keep the other PCs off of them.
The joker.
This guy jokes. Unlike the class clown, this guy's good at it and often gets the whole group, including the DM, to laugh uncontrollably for most of the game. Great to hang around, not so great when you want a serious D&D game.
"I think we should houserule it"
This interesting person wants houserules. On everything that damages him.
"I think we should houserule a damage cap for fireball, like...20 damage. it's too strong for a lv.3 spell" as he rolls his ref save is quite common, for example.
"Of course i should own all melee characters, i use MAGIC"
Another funny guy. Mostly hates any and everything that makes physical characters nearly as powerful as mages, and quite often uses the above argument when asked why he can throw around so many d6's that the sheer number of them can kill the tarrasque (that is, if you threw them. individually), but any melee char should at most deal 1d8+4 damage or so.
"What do you mean my sex appeal doesn't win me DM favor?"
Yeah. Hot gamer. Wants a +5 "the player is sexy" mod on all rolls, usually wears no bra and leans forward while going "did i REEEAAALLLY fail that save?"
Of course, needless to say she turns into a PMSing über*beep* (see below) when the DM refuses to change the game because she acts like that.
mrs PMS
Another female gamer. Constant PMS, at least while gaming. Expects to be treated well because she's female, and expects to be feared for her mood.
Only the second happens.
cant stick to the game no matter what. almost my entire group is like it i plan on killing them all
This is the worst thing that can happen to a DM. I'm not kidding.
I experienced a party like that in the previous months. It was a pain in the ass going on with the campaign story with them.
One of the them was the 'Game-Boy record breaker' I described some pages ago. At the end I decide to quit as a DM. If players are unworthy of your efforts, break the party as soon as you can. The situation will NOT improve with time.
A friend of mine plays a cleric, but we constantly have to remind her that she can do things like spellcasting, turning undead, and most importantly; she forgets that she can heal others
Also very annoying:
Players who have the incredible gift to: NEVER roll anything above 7 or 8 on any given roll...
I don't know how they manage it, but it's really freaky
*snip*
(+) "I'm too shy to hit on you, but my shadowmage isn't too shy to hit on your hot druid"
I don't mind gamer guys flirting with me outside of them game. In fact, if you ask me out I'm likely to say yes...but back up off my characters, dude. I'm tired of making my characters lesbian, married, or part of some vestal virgins type society just to keep the other PCs off of them.
With this in mind, being a female RPGer:
1. The player who hits on me in lieu of PLAYING THE DAMN GAME. I'm here to play D&D, not pick up guys.
And also:
2. The non-prepared wizard. Doesn't prepare his spells in advance, and when asked which spells he has memorized, says "I know what I have prepared in my head." WRITE IT DOWN!!!
3. The spellcaster who doesn't keep track of how many spells he has left. Casts ice storm. Again. And again. Tries to cast it a fourth time.
DM: "Isn't that your fourth time casting ice storm? Don't you only have only 2 4th-level spells per day? Did you even prepare multiple copies of ice storm?" (cf. #2)
GAAAAAAAH!
:headexplo :hoppingma I HATED HIM!
His character was a minotaur barbarian and he somehow had an INT score of 16 but he himself was more of a 6! Every game when the party had something serious or dire to attend to he would do one of the following a) Make a lame-ass joke involving something childish or immature b) Have his character take a leak on something! Oh man was he frustrating! A good example of this:
Me as DM: You come to a small village that has been burned down, there seems to be no survivors.
Another player: I begin searching the fallen houses for signs of life.
Me: O.K.
Horrible player: I begin screeming "WEEE!" and p*ssing all over the burned-up houses.
Me:
Stuff like this, non-stop, all the time! I'm glad I got rid of him.
Stuff like this, non-stop, all the time! I'm glad I got rid of him.
Got one, did you do lightning from clear sky? I'm thinking about it.
Regardless of how many hit points he has left, or what he's up against, this guy will charge in and whack at his foe, regardless of what it is, often totally ignoring what his party is doing, or what any potent NPC's in the area might be screaming at him, in an attempt to get him to run away and live. His approach to pretty much anything is to hit it, and act confused if this doesn't achieve much. My personal favorite was swatting at an annihilation sphere with his warhammer, which promptly disintegrated. So he stabbed it with his backup dagger. Then he punched it, the fool...
With this in mind, being a female RPGer:
1. The player who hits on me in lieu of PLAYING THE DAMN GAME. I'm here to play D&D, not pick up guys.
I must admit, I'm guilty of this one, guilty, but succesful. Well, if you call her emigrating a week later succesful. Bloody exchange students.
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
Oh God, I have two of these. Meanwhile I have to uber-min-max characters such that I can never fail above a 4, so that I'll only fail half the time.
If it wasn't for "The Hot Chick" and "The Girlfriend," most gamer geeks would never get any...just remember that.
CONGRADULATIONS! YOU GET STEREOTYPE+1
For me, it's the Lord of the Rings player, he doesn't just think D&D is the game form of LOTR, he makes it a point to emphasize it.
"Orcs eat humans, always"
"Beware old men in robes"
"Can i play a Human Ranger with levels in King?"
(+) The "Gender War" advocate: For some reason these simpletons believe that D&D is a place to bash the other gender with a bunch of outdated stereotypes spread by a bunch of radical factions(i.e. feminism, masculinism, etc.). You'll usually find these kind of players - in a game, or on the boards - saying something silly like:
1. "Why do all guys do 'so and so' at the gaming table ?"
2. "Girls like role playing while guys like fighting."
3. "Its cool to have a 'girl' at the table."
4. "Girls don't play D&D."
5. "The guys that play D&D are geeks, but the girls that play D&D are....."
6. "The drow are smart because it is a matriarchal society."<---The fact that the drow are part of a role playing game(thus fantasy) escapes their flawless logic.
7. "The D&D miniatures game is sexist, because there are more male miniatures than female miniatures."<---The sad thing was that this was an actual thread here on the WoTC boards once.
8. "If it wasn't for "The Hot Chick" and "The Girlfriend," most gamer geeks would never get any...just remember that."
...The list could go on and on; but I can already see the intellectuals eyes bleeding from the inherent stupidity of such stereotypical, biased, and downright simple-minded beliefs.
(+) The "junk food" junkie: This joker always brings a bunch of greasy food to the game; but that is not what makes him the "junk food" junkie. What makes him/her the "junk food" junkie is the fact that this character consumes these disgusting greas filled products while grasping your brand new $30 D&D book. Yes! This is the guy that leaves all kinds of greasy fingerprints in the book, tears the pages, spits food all over the table, and just about anything else disgusting.
CONGRADULATIONS! YOU GET STEREOTYPE+1
Co-sign
For more information on what kind of poster makes such simple-minded statements - concerning "gender" - see the link with the 1001 bad player types in my signature.
~~~
8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
guilty when I do my evil characters.
bonus: Dice Jockey
This player is adept at making shapes with the dice. He rolls dice randomly, and can create complex shapes with enough dice. During sessions he sometimes decides to test out a new dice formation.
I'm a bit of a dice jockey. Taught my friend to make a swastika with d6's. No, I'm not a nazi, he just wanted to see if I could make a swastika out of d6's.
Condradicting Player: This way leads to treasure, let's go here.
DM: It's heavily guarded, you heard that from the NPC.
Player: Exactly, we all voted to go this way and get the great sword first.
Player 2: If you go there alone, you WILL get anhialated.
Player 3: Besides, we all decided to go this way, come on.
Contradicting Player: You're all babies, go on and take the easy way.
DM: Well then, in this case, we'll let you go and try to avoid ultimate death...
Contradicting Player: Whatever, loser.
And then the player goes in, dies, and leaves the game, which gives the party permenent relief.
There's also "Captain Bounce": that's the guy who never sits at the gaming table, EVER, but is all over your home doing stuff until his turn comes around... at which point he inexplicably somehow knows exactly what's been going on, and has his actions mapped out.
I call that one "Sir Snoozealot"
There's also "Captain Bounce": that's the guy who never sits at the gaming table, EVER, but is all over your home doing stuff until his turn comes around... at which point he inexplicably somehow knows exactly what's been going on, and has his actions mapped out.
There's also the dark side of Captain Bounce... he's all over your house, doing everything except D&D, then when you finally find him and get him to SIT DOWN for his turn... he has no idea what has happened and has no clue what he's going to do, and has only a vague idea of what character he's playing, what dice to roll, what his name is, etc.
#whatever number we're at: The Napoleon Complex
This character will always play halfling rogues/assassins, and always roleplay them as ruthless, backstabbing, chaotic evil freaks. He's also always really short and skinny IRL, and is usually bullied/picked on by bigger people. He takes out his anger by making his character a homicidal rapist freak. He'll insist on describing how he "does" it too... *involuntary shudder*
DM: "The barkeep says a jolly "Hello!" as you enter the tavern!"
Napoleon: I whip out my dagger and sneak attack him for [rolls damage]
DM: WTF???? Ok, whatever. You kill him, and now the other people are runnign around screaming. The barmaid runs into a table and...
Napoleon: I **** HER!!!!!!
DM: OMG, YOU'RE 3
FEET TALL!!!!!!! Then this character will wonder why everyone avoids him in real life and calls him a pervert.
The worst part: This is a real person... kicked him out of my gaming group a few weeks ago.
The player who kills himself only to make a few laughs around the table, OR the player who uses supidity to purposely die only making a single laugh and losing dignity.
Example #1
Said player: Let's see, if I tie 7 coils of 50 feet of rope together, tying one end the bed, and jumping off the 300 ft. high wall holding the other... It's perfect!
Example #2
Said player: If the wizard jumps off a tower with feather fall and I do the same without feather fall, I think (not really) that the experience will benefit me...
the character that figures out what he wants to do halfway through a campaign and starts asking the dm. "how can my character become a celestial" or why didn't my wizard get the +1001010 sword? I was going to make him a combat mage.
the one Who always trys to corect you though out the game "this rule is like this": DM WTF :hoppingma he always forgets "The DM is always RIGHT"
and trys to make his charicter better and have more equpment "i thought i had 20lb of gun pouder" this makes even a nice person anoyed
Of course, if the player is actually attempting to take over the running of the game from the DM, that is another story altogether.
Who are you?
This is the guy that is always at the gaming table, but he actually doesnt play. He isnt annoying or disruptive, heck he is as quiet and complacent as can be, but for some reason he is just hanging there playing a game boy. He doesnt talk to anybody, and pretty much no one acknowledges his existance. He hangs around the game for 8 months worth in sessions before you know his name. You just dont talk about him, like an elephant in the room everyone ignores.
This is the guy who wants to consult with you on a rule about his barbarian when everybody else is shocked that a main PC has been killed the former round. He asks tons of unrelated questions during battles and can't roleplay any situation that doesn't directly involve his character's interest either. Ours is also our #20 Skill Junky, or in his case, Search junky. He has to seach every inch of every surface for fear he's missing some fantastic magic item.
He once combined the two together in one of my favorite examples of both:
The whole floor collapsed beneath half the party, sending them thirty feet down into a basement foundation with a ton of rubble and rotting wood on top of them. The duke's nephew (whom they were SUPPOSED to be guarding) is lying unconscious, near death, a companion wolf is whimpering, the others up above are screaming down to them, and the leader of the party is buried under rubble a few feet away. This guy's first words, before anybody else can say anything?
"I'll search the wall."
Some are truly frightening.
And apparently real.
Very long, but worth the three or so hours it takes to read it.
Nothing's good enough for this person. You could play the best campaign, the most flawless rules, and have the greatest time, but this player will always look fondly upon other experiences where he had the most magical time. These experiences will overshadow anything, no matter what. Nothing will be better than that one campaign that he or she loved above all others.
Quote: "I remember that one campaign..." or "You remember that one campaign? I really loved that one." or "Dude, this sucks compared to that one campaign.."
The Finicky Game System Player
A variant of the comparison player, only they tend to exclude all other game systems in favour of just one. VERY COMMON among Exhalted players (*LOL*). For some reason, the current game system you're playing, be it D&D, GURPS, Deadlands, Exhalted, Rifts, etc, is not good enough because to that one person THEIR FAVORITE game system is the best and most perfect one ever made in the history of mankind. Sometimes they go on for hours complaining about the game you play while exhalting the virtues of their flawless system.
Quote: "The rules on hit points are soooo unrealistic. In GURPS, they're so much better." or "Let's drop this rule set. It sucks. Why don't we play it in (insert RPG system here)?"
#n Captain Ambition - Closely related to all the worst strains of players, this player is continually getting WAY too far ahead of himself with all the possibilities that present themselves down the road. They plan their victory celebration the day the meet the BBEG, design custom uber-weapons without any crafting skills/feats and say "I'm gonna make this later" a week later they've either moved on to another idea or are getting ****** about not having it yet. Worst of all, they feed their ambition by buying every supplement that catches their fancy, presenting even more possibilities for their ambitious minds to explore. If, for whatever reason, their ambitions prove to be unobtainable, they are reduced to the level of a whiney muchkin.
Bitter? maybe just a little.
#whatever: Ariel Bomber - This type of player insists on using his weight and spiked armour as a weapon. He jumps off of every ledge possible to crush the opponent to death. Thing is, he usually dies of the falling damage and never actually manages to kill anyone.
I actually had a character like this who worked pretty well. I wound up designing a PrC for dive bombers.
The "Campaign Comparison" PC
Nothing's good enough for this person. You could play the best campaign, the most flawless rules, and have the greatest time, but this player will always look fondly upon other experiences where he had the most magical time. These experiences will overshadow anything, no matter what. Nothing will be better than that one campaign that he or she loved above all others.
Quote: "I remember that one campaign..." or "You remember that one campaign? I really loved that one." or "Dude, this sucks compared to that one campaign.."
The Finicky Game System Player
A variant of the comparison player, only they tend to exclude all other game systems in favour of just one. VERY COMMON among Exhalted players (*LOL*). For some reason, the current game system you're playing, be it D&D, GURPS, Deadlands, Exhalted, Rifts, etc, is not good enough because to that one person THEIR FAVORITE game system is the best and most perfect one ever made in the history of mankind. Sometimes they go on for hours complaining about the game you play while exhalting the virtues of their flawless system.
Quote: "The rules on hit points are soooo unrealistic. In GURPS, they're so much better." or "Let's drop this rule set. It sucks. Why don't we play it in (insert RPG system here)?"
Oh yeah, there are a good handful of those alternate system nerds floating around. As a matter of fact they get slammed pretty hard on the other gaming board I am on; check the link.
I say, if you like the other gaming system better, stay with it, and leave D&D gamers be!
~~~
We've got one in our game, and he just can't seem to be able to keep his mouth shut. For example; when meeting up with a bad guy that has us working for him because he'll kill us if we don't. Now, this bad guy wants to become a god, and he is just looking for the one thing that will help him on his way to world domination.
The Blabbermouth tells the bad guy that we have discovered a machine that can create an army of Xills. (Red monsters with four arms and a hell of a magic resistance.)
Another time, just after my Cleric of Wee Jas had lost his brother in battle, the guy walks up to me and goes : "Well, that's the way things turn out if you follow Wee Jas.." In addition to being extremely annoying, the guy puts on a grin so broad it would cover the ******* highway!
For example, the guy fires off a fireball against a gold dragon. After seeing that it doesn't work, he argues that his character would be smart enough not to do that.
If he is allowed to take it back, then D&D could be completely different, because unless you make the best possible move, you could just do it over. Where's the fun in that? However, this isn't always a bad thing, and the DM has saved me a couple times by saying "You summon a swarm of locusts in front of the archer that's doing the bulk of the damage for your team?" Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. Some things that are really stupid, you can make that point for, but if you've never encountered a gold dragon before, then it wouldn't make sense that you would remember in the middle of a battle from some book you read a long time ago that they are immune to fire.
This player is usually an arcane spell caster such as the sorcerer or wizard who insists on being the wisest most powerful character in the party. His wisdom score is forcibly brought to at least 25 and he's too much of a good roleplayer to refuse. In addition, he's at least 4 character levels higher than the others in his party.
Forgot the number.
#183 the AJ pronounced aey jay.
a subspecies of whiner/retard/wanabee vampire/ICP loving/ no balled bastard. an AJ is anyone who-if the rules are infavourable to him- argues the rules untill you agree with him it gets so bad that he will argue with you and everyone else in the world, regardless of how many people who say he's wrong. someone who is always wrong but they go by the rule "I am right until you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt and maby not even then that i am wrong"
The Leeroy: the player that charges into combat while in the party is still discussing strategy.
LEEEEROY JEEENKINS!! :OMG! :fight!:
Very rare case. Feels the urge to include music in the session, even when inappropriate. Likes to play Lord of the Rings theme while the party is marching heroically through the forest or when they are facing the super-powerful lich lord. Frequently distracts the group by singing a wide variety of irritating songs, often using breaks to go into duets with an easily-coerced friend.
185 - The Obssessor:
Finds one thing from D&D and obsesses over it, trying to work it into their character in some way. Often bugs the DM, trying to get the DM to let their character get infected with Lycantrhopy, or be a Mind Flayer, or become an Annointed Knight.
186 - The Mageocrat:
Believes that mages (wizards usually) should be the most powerful beings in the game. Tries to do things that rules don't let mages do, and flaunts rules because mages have "superior power", usually by saying such things as "I point my gnarled, gem-topped staff at the goblin and it spontaneously combusts because of my great arcane might!"
187 - The Toadie:
Fawns over the DM and does everything in their power to get on the DM's good side, either for 'favorite' bonuses, or because they are attracted to the DM in some way (idolization, sex appeal, psychotic cult...). Can frequently be found jumping up to pass the DM popcorn or chips as soon as they ask. Also run to the fridge when the DM wants a soda. Sits as close as possible to the DM at the game table. BEWARE! If a Toadie is mental enough, the situation can progress to dangerous levels. At such a point, the Toadie becomes an extension of the DM's will. They will always agree with the DM's ruling, even if it is that their character spontaneously combusted because of some obscure thing that makes no sense whatsoever. They will even begin to provide the DM with constant rides to the game session, will buy the DM the latest sourcebooks, will lick the scum from the DM's shoes, and will sacrifice goats to statues in the DM's likeness.
188 - 13 Year-Old Boys (a.k.a The Puberty-Stricken):
Will act like an immature child in the game, ruining the general fun and mood. Often acts like a manly man, propositioning random Halfling Barmaids and Drow Priestesses with lewd comments like "Hey, you're just the right height!" or "I've always wanted to see what 'special powers' those drow whips have..." (respectively). Also likes to start fights, and picks on wizards and elf men (whom in his pathetic mind, are losers cause they don't have big swords and 'big swords'). Shows off for the ladies in the group when slaughtering helpless goblins or gnomes, and wets his pants and screams like a girl when confronted with a Balor or Lich-Lord. Fortunately, he SHOULD eventually grow out of this stage, once his body begins to adjust to the higher testosterone levels, though as we sadly know, some people like this never change...
189 - The Blonde (a.k.a The Airhead):
Plays the game, but can be an utter buffoon at times. Goes to elven festivals and frolics naked with drunken elf men in the fields (occassionally marrying 2 or 3 of them if the DM permits). Owns a Bag of Tricks solely to pet any fuzzy animals who she pulls out of it. Tries to find (or coerces the DM into giving her) whips with such properties as 50% chance to charm on hit. Chats playfully and takes turns braiding hair with any nymphs or dryads the party comes across.
The character will randomly add things to his character backround so it has things like best freinds with the hermet that he olny heard of at this session.
Character stealer:
When dming he will use evey good npc that is put in to the other sessions and he will use the bbegs to.
Me:once I was a gender bender, once a spotlight hog, but I'd like to think that I am now one of the only sane players
Benny: Chats about amazing charactrs incessantly. Also enjoys full-orc fighters with an int of 6 and a 22 in strength, armed with a masterwork greatsword. Glorg Bloodaxe's only high mental score is wisdom, so that the DM can't kill him with charm person.
Devon: He's another O.K. one, although he was into S.S. Mind Flayers for a while, and tends to imitate Hannibal Lecter.
Brendan: The secretly evil character in the good party. Also will give a kidney to play as a munchkinized Poison Dusk Lizardfolk Rogue witha penchant for dismemberment, or an evil mastermind wizard with a bag of endless guano
Ryan: a good player, although still a bit of a noob
Garrett: He's a dice Jesus in that he's rolled 3 20s in a roll. 2 or 3 times. He builds Savage Species Trolls w/ Improved Grapple for a total of +30something. He built a blade dancer with HUGE +s to Hide and Move Silently who served as Party Retard. He once rolled 56 for Tumble at lvl 5
Bryan: He'd be great, but you can't keep him in a serious campaign. He named his Dark Pally Janet. He had Janet's horse make Spot checks for her. Christ!
Eli: a mercifully cycled out Master Noob and DIce Ninja
Isn't Usaully annoying in game but has a tendacy to make his charecters never shut up, when playing a psion learns control sound power so when he gets gagged he can still talk. All most always plays a high Dex or high Int charecters. (My Kineticist has 23 int at 4th lvl and my [Naruto type] Ninja has 20 Dex at lvl 3, can't wait till i get a bracers of dex...) Is more annoying out of game but is working on it. Constantly works on new material and wants to be able to play it. Also like to focus in on one aspect of a charecter and focus soley on that to almost the exclusion of all other abilities. Also hogs most of the battle when playing Psions by dealing around 100 damage a turn over 5 creatures at 3rd level.... and always plays elves
The Me:
Isn't Usaully annoying in game but has a tendacy to make his charecters never shut up, when playing a psion learns control sound power so when he gets gagged he can still talk. All most always plays a high Dex or high Int charecters. (My Kineticist has 23 int at 4th lvl and my [Naruto type] Ninja has 20 Dex at lvl 3, can't wait till i get a bracers of dex...) Is more annoying out of game but is working on it. Constantly works on new material and wants to be able to play it. Also like to focus in on one aspect of a charecter and focus soley on that to almost the exclusion of all other abilities. Also hogs most of the battle when playing Psions by dealing around 100 damage a turn over 5 creatures at 3rd level.... and always plays elves
that's why few sane DMs allow psions. and why few sane people like elves
Counterpart to the Girlfriend, this player invites his signifigant other along to the gaming session without asking or even informing the other players beforehand. His girlfriend is usually new to the game and so he feels the need to do everything for her, from making the character to adding up her dice rolls even though everyone is fairly certain she can add.
3 months later the signifigant other still has no idea how to play D&D because she has never had the opportunity to actually play because the Boyfriend is doing everything.
example #1 -- rolls a die and says it is a different (usually higher) result. "Hey I rolled an 17!" "No you did not, I saw a 5."
example #2 -- player asks for a rule clarification. Despite explaining the rule to the player 60minutes or so earlier, the player cheats anyway.
example #3 -- "how come you do not have one attribute lower than a 16?" "Oh I rolled that at home."
sigh...
Always has a Halfling Rogue. It steals things regardless of alingment. In my campaigns his character always ends up in the stomach of the red dragon he had to try to steal from. Or ends up as a scorch mark on the floor after insulting the kobold wizard. Or gets literally squashed by the drunk half-ogre he called "a big stupid animal". Or gets goes out in the dangerous jungle, pets a velociaraptor and gets shredded into tiny, bite-sized pieces.
Thirty-five year old men who only want to play as sixteen year old girls. Yuk.
The Clever Munchkin
This player brings you an obscure third-party supplement asking for a Feat, Spell, Class, or whatever it contains. You ask to take a week to read up and review it. You decide the desired crunchy bit wouldn't be unbalancing to the game. The next week the player returns and you tell him he can go ahead and take it. He says: Oh, I'm not interested in that anymore - now I want this! as he hands you a new obscure third-party supplement. So the cycle goes on, he asks for stuff but is no longer interested when it's okay. Suddenly eight weeks later he combines all the requested crunchy bitz to break the system and win D&D once and for all. When you gasp and say: You can't do that. He goes: What? You said I could take them.
The Me:
Isn't Usaully annoying in game but has a tendacy to make his charecters never shut up, when playing a psion learns control sound power so when he gets gagged he can still talk. All most always plays a high Dex or high Int charecters. (My Kineticist has 23 int at 4th lvl and my [Naruto type] Ninja has 20 Dex at lvl 3, can't wait till i get a bracers of dex...) Is more annoying out of game but is working on it. Constantly works on new material and wants to be able to play it. Also like to focus in on one aspect of a charecter and focus soley on that to almost the exclusion of all other abilities. Also hogs most of the battle when playing Psions by dealing around 100 damage a turn over 5 creatures at 3rd level.... and always plays elves
I think you are missing one rule that is very very important. You can't spend more power points on one power then you have maniferster levels, so at third level with energy missile you'd do 3d6.
This player thinks that he may(and must) kill every NPC which is ever encountered, said player also thinks that there is a respawn button with his name on it. The Video Gamer is in constant search for the fabled 'magic shop'. Said video gamer will more than likely always describe in great detail his attack, regardless of called shot penalties. The Video Gamer, however, is used to restrictions, and will generally follow rules once they are established.
The ...er:
The ...er is a powerful and dangerous player. He is unpredictable, and often comes up with ill-thought up plans, and proceeds to follow them, regardless of anyone else's plan or chosen course of action. The ...ers plans, no matter how ill thought up, or how little chance they have of succeeding, work perfectly, for no reason other than to cause annoyed silence (...) or sheer awe at the dice rolls. The ...er is usually new to DnD, and more often than not does not pay attention to the rules, so the other players and DM have to explain how to roll initiative.... every time.
I think you are missing one rule that is very very important. You can't spend more power points on one power then you have maniferster levels, so at third level with energy missile you'd do 3d6.
Yeah i know that, i meant to say 4th lvl not 3rd and that 100 damage was spread over 5 creatures... so 20 each, but still not to bad for a 4th level charecter. Now for the another bad gamer:
The Nervous one:
This one is so nervous about getting their charecter killed they rarely participate in combat unless they are 200 ft away from the action...
They won't even waste a spell if their friend is being eaten by a giant crocadile. My cousin is partially one of these although he used to be alot worse although he won't admit it. And if he sees this im gonna be dead...
I had to deal with one like that, though. Sun elf evoker with fireball, scorching ray, firebrand, and so forth. Not as a character point. Just because those happened to be the first evocations on the list when he gained a new spell level. You know, it really says something about you when a blasted WARMAGE is more versatile than you are. I mean, come on. At least they can deal all four energy types and have, you know, non-elemental damage forms.
Lol about the person that had less versatility then a warmage though
The Officer: Always talking in acronyms. Demand the other PCs referr to him as sir.
The Grunt: Swears constantly and always says !SIR! (note: DMs like this type of player)
He meets with the DM before the game {often, by a day or two} and discusses various plots and what he'll do in certain situations. Then, when gaming and asked for what he's doing... "I do the thing we discussed earlier."
He also sits back and lets everyone else do something, then he figures out a way to gain all of the benefit.
Sometimes leaves everyone waiting for an end to the hell of indecision...
Yeah, the DM rulled that you role the damage once and that goes onto all people. a 6,6,5,4.
That IS how you assign area of effect damage. Are you telling me you would rather roll 5d6 a dozen times when you fry a squad of hobgoblins with a fireball than just roll once and hit them all with that?
The MMORPG-er.
Thinks D&D is the tabletop version of Everquest or World of Warcraft (might buy the novelisation of that Lord of the Rings movie one day, he saw they'd brought it out a book of the movie). Assumes he can carry 46 suits of Hobgoblin chain mail to sell because he can write it on his character sheet, besides, they stack, so it only takes up one slot, right? Wonders why the shopkeeper he killed doesn't respawn. Assumes anything he can pick up (meat from dead creatures, whatever) can be easily sold. Doesn't understand why he can't carry 100,000,000,000 copper pieces. Wonders why all merchants won't buy all his stuff and sell him some cool new gear. Refers to "Ph4t l3wt". Calls his character a "toon". Refers to monsters as "mobs".
Will either learn with a good group, learn bad habits with a group that indulges this, or decide this hobby is much too hard and head back to the PC.
The DMPC
Oh god, no! If you ever need a huge glowing indicator over the head of a bad DM announcing that he's a bad DM, the DM controlled PC is it. The DM has so many NPCs under his control, he can add NPCs to the party, he can play with all the cool toys the Monster Manual gives him, he doesn't need a PC too. More than that, He's supposed to be running the whole damn world except the PCs! He can't put full concentration into that if he's trying to run a character himself! And worst of all, it's bloody likely that the only reason he has this character is to run an ego trip for himself, with the rest of the players intended to be his admiring audiences / humiliated stooges as he wished.
DMPCs are bad.
That IS how you assign area of effect damage. Are you telling me you would rather roll 5d6 a dozen times when you fry a squad of hobgoblins with a fireball than just roll once and hit them all with that?
But this wasn't area but 5 different targets... any way i have another annoying PC:
The unknowing and nooby min-maxer:
This person is often new to DnD and tries to make the most powerful class possible without knowing the rules properly, sometimes without ever playing a game. Example: I want to paly a charecter with good magic, good fighting and is an expert with a bow plus can sneak around really well and do damage for catching un aware, and i also want to be able to heal people. Looks at absurd combinations thinking that they work but there needs to be some one around that to do that he will need to wear rose colored glasses and find a new DM because it breaks almost every single rule that was ever put in a book.
The DMPC
Oh god, no! If you ever need a huge glowing indicator over the head of a bad DM announcing that he's a bad DM, the DM controlled PC is it. The DM has so many NPCs under his control, he can add NPCs to the party, he can play with all the cool toys the Monster Manual gives him, he doesn't need a PC too. More than that, He's supposed to be running the whole damn world except the PCs! He can't put full concentration into that if he's trying to run a character himself! And worst of all, it's bloody likely that the only reason he has this character is to run an ego trip for himself, with the rest of the players intended to be his admiring audiences / humiliated stooges as he wished.
DMPCs are bad.
Absolutely!
- Walking Warehouse
These players will have either some item with the suffix of holding or more than one, stuffed with all manner of other junk, be it magical or mundane. They will then proceed to utterly FUBAR your elaborate trap / plot / monster by using something they forgot they had stuffed into their fuzzy underwear. Usually a rogue or bard.
I may need to add this, ever so slightly out of context to my signature for if one runs that all into one secentence it is rather entertaining
- Walking Warehouse
They will then proceed to utterly FUBAR your elaborate trap / plot / monster by using something they forgot they had stuffed into their fuzzy underwear, usually a rogue or bard.
This guy has some obscure supplement or particular issue of Dragon magazine that he LOVES to use.
Example (real): Because there were only two players, our DM had us each make 2 characters. I made a tiefling cleric of Xan Yae, and an earth genasi fighter.
The other guy used the assassin base class from the Assassin's Handbook, and a sorceror who employed Far Realms creatures using a particular issue of Dragon magazine.
Not annoying because he didn't know how they worked (he did), annoying because I knew very little about how they worked.
My english are terrible, i apologise.
Sure, I'll play. Here, let me draw what my character will look like. What system are we using again?
This player doesn't care about actually roleplaying or rollplaying, all they want to do is get ideas for pictures. often, they spend most of the session drawing out scenes of their character, having to be brought back to Oerth when it's their turn.
I have one of these. If we weren't so hard up for players, she'd prolly be gone.
Cant understand why the DM will not let them have regional feats for growing up in Mordor.
Example quote:
Person 1:"If only we had 43.2ft of rope, woven from the hair of a 15th level elven wizard"
Black Hole Gamer:"You're in luck. i picked one up in the last village."
Person 1:"Well we need an adamantine piton to tie it to."
Black Hole Gamer:"I got that dwarf to craft me one, remember."
This type of gamer doesnt seem to understand the fact that you need to actually be able to carry items."
wouldn't that be more of a White Hole? Calls all dwarves Gimli, all wizards Gandalf etc. When offered Boots of Haste will reply "I dont need shoes, im a hobbit!"
Cant understand why the DM will not let them have regional feats for growing up in Mordor.
personally, I'm gald that halflings in D&D are no longer hobbit-like... more kender-like, I suppose, which i like better.
The Kleptomaniac.
Always has a Halfling Rogue. It steals things regardless of alingment. In my campaigns his character always ends up in the stomach of the red dragon he had to try to steal from. Or ends up as a scorch mark on the floor after insulting the kobold wizard. Or gets literally squashed by the drunk half-ogre he called "a big stupid animal". Or gets goes out in the dangerous jungle, pets a velociaraptor and gets shredded into tiny, bite-sized pieces.
I was once that Halfling Rogue...nice thing about it was, that although at the start of the adventure she would steal from anyone, and backstab the other PC's, over time she changed.
At one point she stole some rings from a shop, she tried them on, but one wouldn't come off. Disturbed by the shopkeeper's return she fled, only to come face to face with the party Paladin on her return tothe inn.
She had the choice of carrying on regardless or confiding in the Paladin. Luckily, me and the Paladin player had a great relationship, so we roleplayed a couple of great scenes where I explained my actions, and we came to a decision together.
He saved me from jail, and as a result, my rogue mellowed alot. Instead of being a thieving, conniving, devious, backstabber, she became a bit of a prankster. Plaited the beards of two dwarves together as they slept, hid a wizards spellbook, and threw rotton eggs at him while hidden in the trees.
She was great because she turned from a stereotype type CN Halfling Rogue, to an individual CG character. Shame the other players didn't recognise until after she died protecting another halfling from bounty hunters...lol.
The guy whos does the best he can to bust himself up as much as possible. (Half-orc fighter/barbarian with the Half-Orc and Orc paragon racial classes (which gives him a +4 bonus to strength, not including base racial stats), only focuses on weapons and armor, doesn't care about role-playing (Role-playing is cool, but not too much of it) and will do the best he can to break stuff up.
#70: The dumb*****
The guy whose character has a high INT, but the PC controlling him is a downright idiot. (8th level Wizard/Bladesinger captain of the guards with a 20 INT decides to place town guards away from the mayor to "fool" the enemies. That night, assassins show up and kill the mayor, no problem.
So many players have left the game, and you are short. you notice a guy who has been waiting at the hobby shop, apparently because he was stood up. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting an extra person, you ask him to join you. You are about to find out why he was stood up.
He has an incredibly squeeky voice, and has never played D&D before. However, you figure that three seasoned players and a DM should be able to walk him through it. WRONG! It somehow takes him THREE HOURS to make his character, and he's in no hurry. Of course he makes a female character, apparently some sort of elven princess, and descides that he needs to buy her underware, declairing without being asked "The type is for her to know, and you to find out." then proceeds to be an annoying, useless whiny ***** during the game. The player CONSTANTLY refers to books that have NOTHING to do with D&D, stating that that is how it should work. The game leads the players in an assault against a small fortress of orcs. However, when they are in the middle of the fortress, in the middle of melee, the Princess **** descides to distract the orcs by... (wait for it)
FLASHING her BREASTS at the ORCS!
...
...
Needless to say the orcs attacked her, and the mage character standing behind her stabbed her in the back, killing her. You resisted the urge to applaud him.
Hey, that's not true... the DM is not always right. I should know; I'm a DM and my players have corrected me more than once.
Of course, if the player is actually attempting to take over the running of the game from the DM, that is another story altogether.
I agree.
# 241 Wrong World
When a player brings in knowlege about another world. Real problem with home brews. This may be anethema to a player, but the city of Donderville and the lands of the surrounding Flintoozlar people of the Heerakar Province don't exist in every universe.
Had one of these once
Greyhawk campain, standard PHB pathelion
Plays a cleric of helm, with minute info on Drow life such taht any info I gave was insantly wrong. (to him)
Ever seen that realy old TV game show for kids called Nightmare, based on D&D like graphity is based on shakspear?
He plays D&D like that, belives combat never happens and it is all role playing, never moves backwards through a dungon, says stuff like SPELLCASTING, F I R E B A L L!
This player insists on using his tiny, vintage transparent dice. Consequently, other players can't see the result of this character's die rolling. Unfortunately #952s commonly exhibit #9 (Dice Ninja) characteristics in that their first and second rolls frequently leave the regulation playing surface. Ironically #952s have a difficult time reading the result of their own die roll and quite often take 2-3 longer than the typical player to report the result of said roll.
Gruelnoir
the "oops" you know mr./mrs. fireball is the greatest spell ever for a group of fighters, it has aoe and i will probably hit more goblins than party members, and then turns out that is not true. safety precautions: fire resitance, damage reduction, and removale of spell book.
(i have never really taken someones spell book, although i have been tempted)
954=uh, what was i doing?
begins work on a character, gets bored, plays halo 2, when game time come around has no character ready, game is delayed due to fact that he forgot to bring something and has to go home to get it
(especially annoying because i can make about 10 completly different characters in 7 minutes)
(sorry if these are repeats)
Ex. PC A decides he wants to try and steal from his drow slaver leader, so he decides to steal some of the gold that he is counting for the leader... in a room full of people looking at him. Then when he should have being killed outright is allowed to live by the DM and only ends up missing 3 fingers. But still complains about having to fight such a high level character.
#956 Table For One-guy's space takes up most of the gaming table with multiple character sheets spread out, books that he'll most likely not use, a banquet sized meal, dice laid out in perfect order and other stuff that leaves little room for everyone else.
This is the distracted guy who talks with everyone about everything BUT the game.
We are all guilty of distraction, but this guy will interrupt the DM and other players mid-monologue to say somthing completely unrelated.
Insists on using mini-dice and roll on his lap on his PHB, sitting the farthest from the table, cupping over the roll. I think this might fit with 'Twit' but not sure.
#959
Appears to be a bright and intelligent player who is experience and can recite rules correctly, but when you finally get a look at his character sheet you realize he is 7th level ranger with 72 skill points allotted and knows all given and bonus languages with a +1 int. I think the light is fluttering on and off, not sure...
The old-timer may or may not be older in a literal sense, but rather learned to play by an earlier edition of D&D. Punctuates sentences with "back in my day" and recognizes Yamara references. Is generally confused by differences in spells or spell lists. (Sorcerers use Charisma? Wizards don't know heat metal? I don't double my actions with a Haste spell?) Finds even the most primitive ink sketch from the 1979 PHB preferable to any art made at the present time. Often reminisces about THAC0 and non-weapon proficiencies.
(I admit it! It's meeeeee!!!)
Sorry if I posted a repeat- there's a lot of room with that when you get to the 900's. Besides, in my day, if a player was redundant it was a good thing. We didn't have none of this "take 10" stuff, if the thief failed...
You know the guy, we all have one. The guy you try to kick out but... Well you perfer not to be alone around him.
Bond isn't a particularly genious player, but somehow he always just manages to get a high enough die roll to not die or to get what he needs. Bond also has spanish fly sweat from his pores because the girl players/girl DM cannot seem to just think of him as another player and will cancel if Bond can't make it or clearly do everything in thier power to insure Bond's survival and or elevate his character to godly status. But when confronted with it the girl players act like the guys are just being paranoid or stupid.
*Koga walks down down with the bond music play and points at it with his water gun*
Koga: Quit stalking The Koga! >_< *Koga runs*
:P
The guy who will complane to the DM`s when they try to go slightly off the rules but when they step up and start to DM they will go way out of the core rules. When you mention it to them they will just say im DM and what I say goes!
This is a description of one of are groop members. While we were going into a great worms red dragons cave (level 10-15 i forget) The rogue sneeks behind to steal treasure gets batted agenst a wall. The barbain runs behind it. The dragon dosent notest( ranger forced to attack it with swords) The barb finds a dragon lance!!! I mean in the middel of a dragon cave. A dragon lance? The lance kills the dargon in one hit! It was stupid. He said the dragon didnt know the lance was in his pile of treasure.
This person will as satated by its name overreact to every little thing. They are very hard to play with because you dont want to tick anyone off.
We have one of these in are groop that actually went so far as almost stabbing one of the groop members. here is how it went. M will be guy number 1 and E will be guy number 2
E: Hahah the dwarf tries to subduce me? ha dwarfs are ugly.. HAahha
M: dwarfs are not ugly i have a cha of 14. I am not ugly. Whats your intelegence, Str or con?
E: I dont need str or con im a rogue but my intellegence is 24.
M: Defenatly not your real life int!
E: Yah and your 14 refelects yours!! ha dont make me laugh. Its more like 3.
M:
You %$&#* head ill kill you if you dont shut up!E: Good luck!
M: Fine you asked for it!! *walks over to knifes grabs one*.
E: Ha small knife for a small man!
M: *puts knife back and grabs a buterknife*
E: you really think you can hurt me?
M: *runs at him with knife*
At this time I am sitting between them and the rest of the groop is looking in disbelife
M: *tries to stab*
E: *grabs knife as he is attempted to be stabbed an gets the had that is holding it into a lock beehind him*
The person called E is in fencing class so he is use to disarming
M: *trashes around a bit*
I beguin trying to pull them apart with out being stabbed
E: *throws M to the ground*
M: *runs out of the house*
At this time the friend that owns the house gets out of the bathroom and asked what happend is a non serious voice.
That was most of it he came back latter and acted as though nothing happend. The names of the people will not be reiveld to protect them.. You know who you are.
I couldn't think of a better descriptive name, but this player is usually a fairly good and capable member of the group. However when s/he discover a rule in the book worked differently than s/he origionally thought it would, rather then say "oh" and correcting their mistake, they go on an hour long tangent of why the rule is now "stupid", "absolutely useless", "pointless", and "shouldn't exsist at all".
One of my players does this every time he discovers something works differently. Just last night he went on a tangent when he discovered you loose dodge bonuses when you are denied your dex mod to AC, and while flat footed. Worst of all, he will never complain when the rules work in his favor, only against.
This player was happy when the players all took down an ogre before it was even givin a chance to act, thanks to the ninja's sneak attack and his iaijutsu (OA campaign, ninja from the d20 Rokugan book). But as soon as he lost initiative and was hit because he was denied his dex and dodge bonuses, went on a tangent about how the rule is stupid and useless and all of a sudden all dodge and dex bonuses have no point in exsisting because their now all of a sudden completely useless. *sigh*
This guy always charges into battle recklessly and runs into every trap with a care or concern yet some how he never dies. He passes the save for the poison trap he just ran himself into because he didn't want wait for the rogue. He enemies always miss and roll one when he is charges a head of the group and has to fight huge group of monsters solo. Sure he will get the knocked out again and again but the dice just will not let this guy die!
196: The Pyro
Loves the to set everything they can on fire. Will spefically ask if something is flamable or not. Always has flint and steel ready. Loves Fireball and any class with fire spells. Also will buy as many flasks of oil as they can just in case something isn't flamable enough. Look out for exploding inns or taverns.
I have somone like that in my game. He took one look at an elven forest city, and got an evil smile on his face. poor elves....
the party had to kill him then sell everything they had to pay back the damage.This is the guy who often brings some of his friends to the group to learn how to play (which is great because it's sometimes hard to get a full party every session). However, he has a habit of collecting 13-16 year old females as his "friends". While it creepy for a 22 year old man who still lives at home to associate with teen girls, nobody ever says anything out of common courteousy. In addition to turning the weekly session into a daycare service, he begins leaving two hours early so he can escort his little friends home before bedtime. When somebody finally asks him about his "children", he fervently denies any attraction to them, claiming that he's "just friends" with them (which is even more pathetic that a 22 year old would have anything in common with a Freshman in High School). Is occasionally caught smelling his friends' hair, carsessing their cheeks, or fondling their belt loops.
Note: 22 is just an example. #968 can be anyone over the age of 18, just as long as he's out of high school and has female friends who still go there.
#55: the item creation abuser.
wants to use page 285 of the DMG to create an item that gives +4 resistance, +4 dodge, +4 profane, +4 shield, +4 armour, +4 enhancement, +4 competence, and +4 circumstance bonus to AC. then decrease the creation cost by 70% by saying it only works for his class and his alignment and requires 5 ranks in use magic device to work.
Guilty. I can make armour 11.35 times cheaper than normal. As soon as I can find a DM who lets me make magic items with decimals anyway, right now it's more like ten times.
+10 to AC for 100,000gp? How about 8,810gp. I've made a spreadsheet that works this out to a ridiculous amount of decimal places (as well as other things like the average AC for a enemy of CR X, or the average damage the someone with X attacks at +X and criting on X-X for *X and two natural attacks at +X with crits on X-X for *X will deal against someone with AC X and DR X/X). This spreadsheet once got me kicked out of an epic level munchkin game
.Actually, one of this type is in one of my games. He always looks at me, does not care about the others opinion, can not think on his own, tells his plan the DM instead of discussing it with the others, and always talks to me about DnD IRL (Not about anything else!)
#970 The metagamer
I did not read all this list, so i think someone must have talked about these: The ones who do in no case roleplay, but always think like: "Hmm, the DM wouldn't do this and this. So let's try that and that". Another example: One of the characters watches out for enemies at night. A monster jumps from behind a bush. The Metagamer loudly: "I am waking up because... i can not sleep well this night" ARRGL! (EXP-loss, EXP-loss...
)This spreadsheet once got me kicked out of an epic level munchkin game
Kicked out of a munchkin game for anything other than attempting to role-play is a real accomplishmen. good job!
# A real big one: The horny lewd Basterd
This guy (or girl) is always making sexualy inapropriate comments and gestures.
Would I be overstepping my bounds by asking for her number? She sounds like my kind of woman.
This player manages to guilt the DM into giving her level 1 cleric an animal companion. Then a mount. Then a flying unicorn with which to consult during battle. She also wants to build a house and make friends with the NPCs, but has truely bad social skills. She pisses off the NPCs who then attack her animal companion, but the thing can't die or she'll be sad. She makes EXTENSIVE use of minis and even builds the house she wants out of Lincoln Logs.
No matter what's going on, whos DYING, or what treasure is being found, this character often sits in silence, waiting simply to be asked to do things. This is primarily annoying when two players team up against you as a DM and try and say something TOTALLY STUPID is correct in the rules. In that instance (the one I'm thinking of) the silent shy guy was the biggest rule monger and wouldn't back me up until the campign was ruined.
As soon as he gets dominate or charm anythign, or worse sugetion, look out, party members songing each other, throwing themselves off trees, doing the can can in combat. Wost when combined with
# A real big one: The horny lewd Basterd
This guy (or girl) is always making sexualy inapropriate comments and gestures.
They're scared of spiders, or undead, or aberrations... and by no means will they allow you to use them in your game! It's absolutely wonderful to discover you have one of these, usually about five sessions into a campaign you've built around Drow, or Undead, or Mind Flayers...
*sigh*
My particular Phobic gets the willies whenever someone mentions Undead. And in my planned campaign, they were supposed to encounter a city full of them. Bye-bye to that idea.
I've made it a practice to ask any new player about anything that scares the bejeezus out of them; I don't want that to happen again.
Largely due to his face nearly being sucked off by a mushroom. DONT ASK.
This guy Always crited..i mean...99% of the time, took feats he couldnt even have. Lied on this skill rolls..and when one of the party members died he tried to steal the items off of his corpse...when he got caught he said "what do you mean i cant hide 3 sets of armor and 10 weapons on me?" Then got caught messing with the party while they were sleeping...Then he wondered why we ganked him...Drow sorc...assassin...cleric of corruption..hmmm i wonder why we ganked him? :D
Then when something happened to him he completely went off that our dm was only after him.
This kind of player thinks that he can influence events by saying stuff like this:
DM: Several Goblins are now chasing you.
Player: They flee my Paladins might!
DM: No. While you are looking all scary, a mind flayer decides to prey on you.
Player: It fails to suck my brain!
DM: No, it succeeds...and starves.
977: The Superpowered player
This kind of idiot decides to Throw a level 799999999 fighter with a permanancy spell placed on an immortality necklace, a magic device to clone anything, 999 +900000009000000000009090909090909090 weapons and every feat ever that he created like that into a the first adventure of a campain. This happened to me.
and actually get a response. o_O On that matter...
978. Nerves of steel: This guy (very rarely a girl) just doesn't care. Undead zombie hordes attacking his beloved and eating her alive? He won't even PRETEND to roleplay being terrified. After the battle, he gets hit by a fear effect. What does he do? "My character takes a full move away. someone cast haste so i can still attack with my longbow"
NEVER will this guy show any emotion in or out of character. VERY annoying when you try to play a horror game.
DM: Several Goblins are now chasing you.
Player: They flee my Paladins might!
DM: No. While you are looking all scary, a mind flayer decides to prey on you.
Player: It fails to suck my brain!
DM: No, it succeeds...and starves.
:heehee
976: The DMing Player
This kind of player thinks that he can influence events by saying stuff like this:
DM: Several Goblins are now chasing you.
Player: They flee my Paladins might!
DM: No. While you are looking all scary, a mind flayer decides to prey on you.
Player: It fails to suck my brain!
DM: No, it succeeds...and starves.
><
A player who, do to actual social skills/force of personality bullies, persuades, cajoles, and lures the other players into exactly what he wants them to do... While useful when this player is on the same page as the DM, this player is pure hell if he/she/it shares any of the other 978 personalities.
#980 - The 'Out-of-it' Gamer
The typical OoiG will zone out if the DM does some stuff with the other group for even five minutes. He will begin to play around with random junk on the table that is within reach, such as the pencil, reading his character sheet over and over to see if he gained any new things without him knowing it, or just fooling around with the fifty dice the person next to him has, making all of them with the highest number you can roll on them.
*Raises hand* I often will be confused as to what is happening because I just zone out. And I have done everything I have listed in this one. My favorite is to stack the dice as high as I can get them until they fall over.
*Raises hand* I often will be confused as to what is happening because I just zone out. And I have done everything I have listed in this one. My favorite is to stack the dice as high as I can get them until they fall over.
dice towers are a competitive sport in these parts. lol. so is spinning dice(im the only one here who can manage to spin a d4)
#981- the "I choose the rules gamer"
he is the gamer that always takes his pick when there are multiple rules for one situation
example: rolls 6 4d6-lowest for stats then without asking the dm immediatly re-rolls and picks and chooses the six highest from all 12 then has to be told to take the first six if the dm doesnt do it that way or is forced to re-roll if the dm does it in a completly different way. then they argue about how it says u can without thinking about the other ways of rolling stats.
commonly found carrying around his copy of unearthed arcana
983) The Bleaker. "Life is meaningless" Whether its the character or player saying it, they can;t seem to derive anything from anything.
984) The Sinker. Chaotic Stupid presonifyed, the Sinker's characters can't resist destroying things. Closley related with the pyro, the Sinker dosn;t care HOW it is destroyed as much as it's destroyed, but flashy ways tend to impress the sinker more. the same player who does Athar on me does this on occasion.
985) the Dustie. Necromancy, necromancy, and more necromancy. this player can;t seem to get enough of kills spells and undead. I used to be htis way
986) The Taker. (IC) Its shiny/valuable/nice. Its MINE. I am entitled to it. gimme, now. I don;t care if another player has it, i should have it, its MINE i take it. Same character in my group as Sinker and Athar does this as well.
987) The Gunver. Obsessive-compulsive rules lawyer. knows every rule and tries to enforce them. challenges every ryuling citing chapter page and book for somethign obscure that might be construed as being something else.
988) The Sensate. no matter how bad an idea it is, no matter how suicidal it seems, or how painful, this character will try it, despite protestations. you guessed it, same as the last three there.
989) The Hardhead. Think my way. act my way. BE my way. I do it this way, and so should you. This is my opinion and it should be yours too. The brother of the one attributed to the last four attributed factiosn will do this at times.
I thank my lucky stars that i do not DM for him. 990) The Chaosman. From off topic, to incomprehensable, i don;t think there is a way to mack this person act in a manner with any order, rhyme or reason. same player's brother as the hardhead :hoppingma I swear she had better not ever get the bright idea to bring him to a session.
991) The Anarchist. Debates the DM not on rulings but on "What the hell! That's not fair! You can;t do that!!". Shouts the DM down when a problem comes into existance. My whole group suddenly transmutes into this when i try to kill off any NPC they've decided they like. including my ex(finally got him out of the party!) DMPC. :headexplo
This player plays every character as CN going on NE and seems to derive some thrill from collecting "potentially valuable" parts from every downed foe.
Will complain that nothing in the world is worse then munchkins, NOTHING is worse then people who only choose stuff to complainment their abilities and add nothing to their background.
Then proceeds to show you his Human Spiker Were-Bear grappler with 60+ str at lvl 10.
What caused this speech? Me wanting to play a Half-Dragon Warforged, and my friend had I had spent 3 days writing out a solid backstory for him too.
# 985 The Pack Rat
The character that insists on picking up _Everything_ as it might have some worth, & holding on to it till either
a) He can get a better price.
b) Sure it has a use some where in the adventure. After all the DM would not have put it there other wise
c) Forgets where he got it or where he picked it up from & never gets round to doing anything with it.
Also related, # 986 The Spell Rat.
The mage with all the spells possible in his book. Plus a few. With no hesitation to use them.
This may be the only 1001 thread to actually PASS 1001.
I've seen plenty of them pass 1001, back when they were all the rage.
hes the one that reffers every little thing,monster or race to WOW. things like
"Oh! thats a nimph!?! i know those guys! they are green and can do 573 damage and live in thousand needles!," then your like "well in dungeons and dragons they are naked women that live in the forest and they look kind of like elves" and then they burst "NOOO!!!!!!!!...... nymphs are green!!!!"
you get the picture.
This may be the only 1001 thread to actually PASS 1001.
Except that somewhere down the line (I've read every post) we lost track (is it really that hard to put a number? Must be) and then LATER down the line someone arbitrarily picked a number. Judging by the total number of posts, I'd say we are AT MOST half way there. Heh heh at one point we were even at X, X+1, X+2....
I have a player that does this, Even outside of the game at the worst possible moments, Constinly asking if there is a prestige class he can take when he levels up, or what races I would let him play, all the time looking to become the uber-munchkin
990. The Cowardly Barbarian
My personal invention, I made it up in order to tick off the DM at the time, This player will make something like a Dwarven Barbarian, but make it the person who often flees from combat and stands back to let the mage to more fighting than he does, also, he has several odd phobias
This guy argues out of a situation not with the mechanics but uses logic. Hey, I'm one of them.
"What do you mean I fail again to that disease, making it the first time meant that I have imunity when I was first exposed to it."
This is the guy who keeps coming up to you wanting to play one of his self created races and classes, which are almost always way overpowered, he also seems to be the jerk off who keeps trying to build his own lasers and space craft as a gnome, and use that as an excuse
just a little creepy
This guy constintly talks at the game table. you can't get in 5 minutes without him/her bringing something up that gets the whole table talking. Then it's up to you to quiet them down. Whether it's a joke, insult, or off-topic discussion, you just want to tape this guy's mouth up! :D
This has happened to me many times.
#994. Mr. No Return
This person is very much like #164: Mr. Lost its. except the person asks you for the PHB, DMG, etc. and doesn't return it anytime soon. One of my friends is like this.
Me: Hey Mr. No Return, did you remember to bring my PHB(to school)?
Mr. No Return: Oh...sorry I left it at my house.
Me: ( :boom: )Well don't forget to bring it tommorrow, ok?
Mr. No Return: Yeah, I will(maybe, that is if I remember)...
Next day...
Me: Hey Mr. No Return, did you remember to bring my PHB(to school)?
And it will go on from there...
There is a guy in a few games I play, and for a time was in one I DM'd and maaaaan... he's the type who will 'only' play such things as vampires, tieflings, drow, or a human with some equally dark and emotional class, such as a Wilder.
Complete and utter emo-goth kiddy whom was a good RPer if not an agonizing one... until it came to anyone trying to intimidate him or challenge him. And he could NEVER understand why a fear check would work on him.
Heres an example of what the dude would sound like:
*says in a deep, overly booming voice of doom-like qualities*, "I'm colder and harsher than the wind of the artic zephyr! My nerves are unaffected by the sight of the worst tragedies, the most appalling massacres, the fearsomest foes. I am all that is hard and unperturbed, like the diamond uncut from he mountain quarey! Fear touches me not, for what could I fear that surpasses the roiling evil that I must keep in check within me! Yet inside I'm just a guy wanting to be understood and loved! LOVE ME or I will give in to the bleak blackness that lives within the depths of my soul and I will tear out your gizzard! And I cannot speak in possibly less than 500 words to describe these qualities each and every single chance I get!"
Every. Single. Character. His sword would always fly faster, with more power behind it than was possibly imaginable! And once death came his heart would, for a time, be at peace... (and yet somehow he always seemed to be like chaotic good...)
Actual quote from our game and its only a quarter of what was actually said but I didn't want to cause anyone to fall asleep (and if the player reads this, sorry, but man, you ARE long winded, nor can you indent :P ):
"" Silly b**ch..do not tell me what to do...threaten me again and i will burn you alive." Akira says to sheaux before turning to gather Miroku, if there were goblins Akira would find them and light their corpses on fire..he had always worked better alone. "And don't lecture me on evil child...i know more about it than dare you image or would you like to speak with my demon fox spirit that accompanies me..he can show himself to you if you perfer it..." Akira would even more coldly than Sheax did, like he was not even remotely human in his apathetic tone towards the two, there was even a shine of predatory fire within his eyes as he spoke of his spirit which he saw sitting right in front of sheax with a wicked smile on it's face as it's black and red eyes gazed into hers withut her even knowing it before it slinked over and around Trest, encircling the two as it remained in it's unseen spirit form.
#996
"What's LA stand for, and can I make a half-ogre half-brass-golem mariner?"
And the dude was dead serious.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
This is me. For some reason dice just like me. I have had cheaters dice designed to roll 1s constantly get 6s. when I make a new character, it usually has the score layout of 18/17/16/15/14/13
997: The mute.
this person never talks - NEVER! he always writes his responses down on paper or on a computer.
998: The gamer.
this person brings a computer/iPod/GameBoy/etc. to the session and proceeds to play/listen to it constantly, pausing only to say, "I attack the nearest monster".
999: The appointment man.
this person has appointments buffering every minute of the session. he will have a dentist visit beforehand, making him 20 minutes late, a doctor's visit afterwords, making him leave 20 minutes early, and he will have to take his cat to the vet in the middle of the game. he will frequently live very close, but all the people will be an hour away.
1000: The skin changer.
this person has one single character, one class he plays, one race. but he will have on him 10 different skill, feat, and item lineups, which he will change every 10 minutes.
1001: The Accessorizer.
kind of goes with #1000, the accessorizer will change something about his character every minute or two. frequently a cheater as well, the change has something to do with the last roll he made.
1002: The Obsessive Fan
I think this was listed before, but this person really is annoying. he has an overwhealming obsession with some creature in the game. he has lots of clothing items of the creature and frequently asks if he can play/own it. Dragon-lovers are the primary culprits and i had a DL in my last game. he would ask me constantly if he could have a wyrmling silver dragon.
This player kills flavor or flair by the DM by saying that it doesn't makes sense, or saying that "that isn't how the book describes it."
Ex.
Player A: I'm going to use Chill Touch on the spider.
(Rolls)
DM: Okay, you miss. As you reach for the spiders back, you slip slightly and just barely miss, your hand catching yourself on the ground, leaving the nearby grass glistening with ice.
#1003: no!! no way!!! The spell description says that it just goes away if you touch the ground!! you did it all wrong!!
DM: ....
I have one of these in my group... he's also a super Rules-Lawyer...
#972: The shy guy/girl
No matter what's going on, whos DYING, or what treasure is being found, this character often sits in silence, waiting simply to be asked to do things. This is primarily annoying when two players team up against you as a DM and try and say something TOTALLY STUPID is correct in the rules. In that instance (the one I'm thinking of) the silent shy guy was the biggest rule monger and wouldn't back me up until the campign was ruined.
This is bad? Eh? It could be that the game as proceded to the point that he just can't be bothered. I'd be the first to admit I do that when the campaign is being dominated by a couple of idiots. Why bother if anything you do will be hit by the BROKEN! or OVERPOWERED squeals from the other two? Just roll the dice and read a book (or in my case, plan my campaign) or talk about movies, or anything else but the game.
AC *****- a monk with an AC of 54 for 3 reasons. 1- he cheats... der...
2- he whines
3-the Dm isnt too bright.
This kind of characters ends up with every ac bonus you can get, plus a +6 ac bonus from a luck item which really doesnt exist....
As long as he has MANY MANY feats from the Book of Exalted Deeds.
That falls under 3- The DM isn't too bright.
This may already be here.. i got to page 3 before i realized i couldnt honestly read the rest...
AC *****- a monk with an AC of 54 for 3 reasons. 1- he cheats... der...
2- he whines
3-the Dm isnt too bright.
This kind of characters ends up with every ac bonus you can get, plus a +6 ac bonus from a luck item which really doesnt exist....
AC of 54? Piece of cake. The World Record for AC is 200 and something at 20th level, with no cheating, completely by the RAW.
Plus, there is no such thing as an item that doesn't exist. What do you think the item creation rules are for?
This is the same dm who gave us 1d10 gold x10,000 people for doing a concert... and that was level 4... He took a 10 on that roll.
so uh,.. money was no object... The highest AC in the party compared to his, was a 32 i think... mebe a little higher.
Me: There is a well and,
#1104: OOOO! Wells always have treausure! I swim down and find it! :D
Me:
Um, ok! Make a fortitude save.# 1104: Why?
Me:
BECAUSE OF THE ODD GREEN GLOW IN THE WELL THAT YOU WOUD"NT LET ME FINISH DESCRIBING! :headexplo :hoppingma #1104:
:OMG! Not fair! So where is all the gold? 
Me:
(If you guys see this, and you know who you are, I'm sorry in advance... I'm just blowing off steam- these are mega-over exaggerated, anyways.)
1005: The Protagonist
This campaign is about Him. He sees his character as the Main character, while the rest of you are his sidekicks. He wants the famous artifacts for himself, he starts up sidequests and his own goals, but when other people do anything similar, he says they're wasting everyone else's time. He likes to one-up other character backgrounds. You meet your mother, he HAS to remind everyone he's an orphan.
The Protagonist often munchkins and/or metagames (and gets offended if you call him on it), so that he can be the most powerful and further the game's revolving around him, also this way others become dependant on him and have to include him to succeed, meanwhile he finds ways to replace everyone else (gets ways to heal him so he doesn't need the healer, finds ways to cast magic spells so he doesn't need the mage, is good in combat so he doesn't need the beat stick, etc.) so he doesn't have to rely on them. Brags about being the most useful, powerful character, brings up all the group accomplishments and the ways they couldn't have been done without them, and won't once acknowledge anyone else's help.
1006: The Black Sheep
Why, Black Sheep, must you play an Evil character in a campaign designed for good guys? Why are you surprised when other characters don't want to let you get away with wanton murder? Why did you not foresee these sorts of in character conflict, and why are you complaining you can't see why your character should stick with the group? This character better take a lot of bluff so that the others don't have a reason to get rid of him sooner.
1007: The Psycho
He's torturing NPCs, he's killing anyone he can think up an excuse to kill, he's playing weird monster races. No, we don't want to roleplay yet another scene where hoards of NPCs at The Common Tavern are mad at you for killing someone, and no, we don't want to get kicked out of town. Why are you following our characters around, anyways?
1008: Prof. Obnoxious
LOVES explaining stuff to people. Is incredibly arrogant, insists he knows how everyone should roleplay their characters. He's really, really loud, obnoxious, rude, everyone else is constantly demanding that he SHUT UP.
1009: The Time Taker
He knows the rules, but for some reason has to slowly add up all the bonuses every time he attacks. Takes forever. GET ON WITH IT!
1010: The Pervert
Self-explanitory. Makes the females in the room uncomfortable with his dirty jokes all the time.
1011: The Artist
As much as you like getting your character drawn by this player, he (or she... heh heh) is drawing and not paying attention. Put down the paper and pencil and ROLL A D20, IT'S YOUR TURN.
1012: The Selfish Roll-Player
Likes others to be dependant on him (or her, heh heh) so he (or she) insists that no one be capable in any of her specialties in any way. For example, just off the top of my head, if she's playing a healer, does not want anyone to cast heal spells, buy heal potions, summon monsters with the ability to heal, or take feats that let them heal on their own. May refuse to heal when she's actually needed just to make other people regret usurping Her Role. It's less fun for her that way, she says. Can't you just make your character weaker to make her happy? If not, she whines about how weak her own character is, and how she wishes she had picked something else, until the DM gives her character a little more power to make her happy. At odds with The Protagonist a lot.
1013: Mr. Forgetful
Where is your character sheet? Where is your new PHB? Where are your dice? Do you remember what day and time we're playing? And where? No? Is your head still screwed on? Let's all wait while you get it together, or make up new stats for just today, or borrow other people's dice. Call his or her cell phone to remind them, don't be offended if they snap and say they're not stupid, they know the game is on Mond- Tuesday, whatever, that's what they meant.
Easily identified by a quick glace through the DM's stuff- he's got copies of their character sheet after dealing with a lack of char. sheet a few times already. It's just easier this way.
Edit: I mean Mr. Four, not the poster.
Though the poster does have the wrong idea about sabotaging the game rather than direct confrontation and/or leaving the game outright.
1015: The coward. Sees fit to run from any challenge, including a golem made almost entirely out of pastry,(something's cooking in the origional adventures area.) no matter how many people are between him and it. If a warrior type, tends to get the other perty members destroyed. If a weak type, tends to die as soon as anything comes from behind during a fight.
This guy cuts through your game like a hot knife through butter. He respects good stories but is so mistrusting of NPCs and the DM that it becomes impossible to have any kind of decent story. He comes up of new, legal ways of making an incredible AC rating while the rest of the party has average AC. He always rolls a critical in a boss fight, and enemies that can hurt him, never get the rolls to hurt him. He comes up with simple solutions to problems that force you to redesign a major part of the campaign. He doesn't talk much, and is extremely good at finding one good aspect of his character and exploiting it maliciously. And will never realize your frustrations unless you make it painfully obvious.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
Guilty as charged. I mean, it was nice when I drew all the right cards in my games and rolled really high scores, but now it's getting depressing.
DM: There's NO WAY you rolled 17, 16, 15, 15, 13, 8! (Pregenerated character, I rolled at home)
Me: I begged the dice for that 8, honest! (The lowest score I have ever rolled for any of my characters.)
DM: I don't care, roll again!
Me: Okay. *Rolls* 15 ... 14 ... 15 ... 18 ... 17 ... 12.
DM: :headexplo
Me: I'm sorry, I can't help it!
Usually telepath, enchanter, or bard. Loves mind-control powers. Says to the rogue "When I get to 3rd level, I will mind-control your character and make him do the chicken dance."
A friend of mine told me about this one. I advised him to take Iron Will ASAP.
Player decides that his PC is "proud" or "confident" or "a born leader", and roleplays it by being aggressive and confrontational at all times.
If an NPC won't pass the salt, there's no alternative to backhanding them and slaughtering their family. The baron wants us to rescue his daughter? He can't tell us what to do! I kill his bodyguard to teach him a lesson.
And my other favourite: magic item kleptomaniac.
Puts his hand up for every magic item, and tries to make it sound as though his PC is the most appropriate character to have it.
You find bracers of protection...
I'll take that. It's better for the party if my cleric can be lightly armoured.
Greataxe of cleaving...
My wizard will survive longer with a good weapon
Ring of stealth...
My paladin needs that +5 MS for his horse
Rod of...
Mine
Boots of..
Me
It's a +3...
I'm the obvious choice
The Gender Bender
Be it boy or girl, this player must play a character of a different biological sex than him-or-herself. This could be good, but the Gender Bender keeps that from happening because s/he has no idea what the other gender is like or wants to project his/her stereotypes or fantasies onto the character. The male player/drow-lesbian character is a common thread.
lol nice usage of pictures i was goin to show my DM this, then i realized he does that exact thing and i didnt want to offend him, then i thot maybe my brother.... but my brother does that too.... jeez i cant show this to anyone!!!
Constantly has his charater take the damage. He is the one who makes it wiser to have two divine casters, an arcane caster, then one arcane caster, one divine, and one rogue. Demands that the divine casters save their spells for healing. Comes to the game with five character sheets of new characters.
The Mouth: Keeps putting stuff in his mouth! Pencils, dice, miniatures. Doesn't suck, chew or otherwise play with them, just holds them in his mouth. Complains that my dice "taste bad".
Mr. No-Short-Term-Memory: Actually knows the rules better than any other player I know, but can't seem to remember that his 16th level wizard's staff is a +4 magic weapon, or that he has a familiar, or even what feats he chose.
this person drops stuff. dice, pencils, books, his cat, your baby brother, everything at some point or another. (the baby was a joke, I don't have one) your carpet is pernamently stained from the drinks he spills, his books are nearly disintigrated from the abuse.
1023: the treasure klepto
this person has radar for treasure. he can be in the bathroom at the other end of a convention center, you will describe a treasure to someone else, and you will hear a faint 'mine!'
me: you see a chest filled with rubies.
1023: I open the chest an stuff the rubies in my pockets
me: there is a golden rod on the floor
1023: I talke it
me (to other player): you find a bag filled with gold
1023: mine!
me: you see ...
1023: MINE!
DM: Make a reflex save
#1024: ::rolls:: I roll a 20! Yay!!!
DM:
You just rolled a d12#1024:
I did?DM:
-Surprise
1008: Prof. Obnoxious
LOVES explaining stuff to people. Is incredibly arrogant, insists he knows how everyone should roleplay their characters. He's really, really loud, obnoxious, rude, everyone else is constantly demanding that he SHUT UP.
This is definitly me. Why do I explain everything?!
Absent-mindedly rolls a die over and over until the max number comes up, then announces "can someone witness this roll for HP, please?".
This player cannot understand the usefullness of a druid to its full extent. They may be somewhat of a good player, mayber insanely good at something. However, they veiw druids, paladins, clerics, and all divine casters that aren't evil AS HEALERS. They are the type that go up to druids and immediatly point out that with one feat they can become spontaneous healers. More often than not they play characters that can't take a great axe to the face for very long.
#1026 The weight lifter
I don't know if you've had one of these, but these are the people who have regular dice, and when in dire need palm them to bring out their weighted die to just luckily vorpal anything that stands a chance at killing his/her character.
#1027 Dice of death
This is the person that forgets his D6's so he goes out to his car and brings back his fuzzy dice to roll, the die usualy rolls onto the playing field and messes up combat positions, usualy in his favor
#1028 There is no 1
This person found a clever way of never rolling a critical miss, ever, by purchasing a D20 with two 20's on it. This can go unoticed for a while but eventualy someone will notice that the numbers don't correspond with other die, or there is close examination for the 1.
#1029 The Xp gatherer
This person will kill anything just for the xp. Set fire to an ant hill, eldritch blast a pigeon, hit bunnies with golf clubs in a druids forest. All for that one XP that gets them slightly closer to a level
#1030 The mimic
This person plays a class, and they enjoy their class, and everyone likes them being their class. Then they see someone else's class do something nifty, so they grab a feat or two, some items, and maybe a favor formt he DM to recreate what the other person did.
#1030 The mimic
This person plays a class, and they enjoy their class, and everyone likes them being their class. Then they see someone else's class do something nifty, so they grab a feat or two, some items, and maybe a favor formt he DM to recreate what the other person did.
This guy needs a dose of the chameleon PrC. He'll love it for sure.
1031 (what are we really at?): The chess player.
This man is incredible. If he would have control over the other characters, he would be unstoppable. His character screams orders or directions to the others, and woe be to the DM that plays with a group that follows the chess player's orders... Note that he can be either disruptive (screams orders OOC out of his turn or even takes control of others characters) or perfectly legit (he takes his free action to speak on his round every turn and tell the others the strategy), but he will be a mastermind at the battle mat if he gets the chance.
1032: C-c-c-combo breaker.
Will do several stupid things at once. If the group enters ambush positions, he'll rush the enemy with a greataxe. If the group is at a royal ball, he'll sneak around in the shadows and kill guards...ANYTHING just to break the current theme of the game, very often makes himself the center of attention, not to anyones surprise.
Whether he is on drugs, or just normally that way, Mr. Happy is always upbeat (not bad if you have a party of surly, black-wearing, rogue players). if you tell him his character is dead, it won't phaze him at all. You can do anything to him and he will still be grinning.
1034: the RL Moocher
the RL Moocher tries to get free stuff out of people in real life. nothing is safe from the RL Moocher. he will eat the munchies off the party wizard's plate, borrow the rogue's dice, and wipe his face on the DM's shirt. the RL Moocher does anything to get anything.
1035: the RP Moocher
a subspecies of the RL Moocher, the RP Moocher tries to get free stuff in the game. you will see him grovelling to the king of the orcs for money, then asking a paladin for a horse. he typically playes a rogue or a bard, and has a high Charisma score.
1036: I AM HUNGRYYYY!
this person just whines that he is hungry. you can offer food, but 1035 will always refuse. don't know why
DM: you see an empty room.
1035: I am hungry.
DM: why is that relevant to the area?
1035: soooo hungryyy
DM: there is food in the fridge.
1035: I AM HUNGRY!!
DM: you know where the fridge is, so STOP WHINING THAT YOU ARE HUNGRY!!
1035: HUNGRYYYYY!!
DM:
:headexplo1032: C-c-c-combo breaker.
Will do several stupid things at once. If the group enters ambush positions, he'll rush the enemy with a greataxe. If the group is at a royal ball, he'll sneak around in the shadows and kill guards...ANYTHING just to break the current theme of the game, very often makes himself the center of attention, not to anyones surprise.
If onlythe old KI announcer would actually shout that when a player ruined a game.
The wannabe min/maxer:
Designs characters *for no other reason* than to be absurdly powerful, but is so unfamiliar with the rules that the character ends up being laughably weak. (See Red Mage from 8-bit theater).
Wannabe: "Behold! My wizard/cleric/druid/rogue/monk can cast from three separate spell lists, and has all of these cool abilities!"
Me: "Congratulations. You have a 5th-level character with +0 BAB and 19 hp, who can't cast spells above 1st level."
The assumer:
Thinks his character should be able to do anything remotely related to his race, class, or character concept.
Assumer: "In the meantime, I make a Cloak of Elvenkind."
Me: "You can't. You lack both the necessary item creation feat and the magical skill."
Assumer: "But I'm an elf! Can't all elves make elven items? I wouldn't have played this stupid character if he couldn't make elven items!"
The bad-scottish-accent guy:
Race, class, background, or campaign notwithstanding, every character he makes speaks with a Mike Myers-esque brogue ("Head! Pants! Now!"). The BSA guy is a cousin to the bad-english-accent guy, the bad-irish-accent guy, and all the rest.
The Stereotypist:
Elves are androgynous, elitist pantywaists, dwarves are beer-swilling Scots (see the BSA guy), halflings are moronic kleptomaniacs, etc., etc. It doesn't matter what setting your playing is, or how you redefine the races.
Stereotypist (playing a dwarf): "I take the elf's beer from him, down it in a single draught, and belch in his face."
Me: "Well, seeing as how the elves of Culloden Forest are proud, warlike, and physically powerful, this one is probably going to kill you for that. Roll initiative; but first, make a Fort save at a -4 penalty, since your Cloistered Dwarf has never had alcohol before."
#1004 The everything must have treasure in it, or the DM would not bother including it in our adventure.
lol i hav one of those too... Actually... make that 5....
Me: You peek into the room and see a heap of gold, and
1004: I go and put it in my bag of holding.
Me: Okay, you take... (rolling for a while) 83 dmg from the RED DRAGON SITTING ON THE PILE OF GOLD!
roflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflrofl
What about the player who eats the cheezy poofs then jacks your PHB without wiping their hands with a napkin first? Noone likes a cheezy PHB...
Personally, I think the "Spills-Root-Beer-All-Over-Your-Entire-Rulebook-Collection" is much, MUCH worse. Because it happened to me. Every single one of the 20-odd rulebooks I own smells of root beer and has brown stains in the margins. All because of one guy.
141. The Uber samurai.
Always plays a samurai. He believes katanas should do 5d20 points of damage...
142. The detect evil overloader.
She always plays a paladin. Cast detect evil on everything that moves, and then some. Kills anything that glows.
143. The gnome inventor always plays an insane gnome tinkerer that make inventions which kill the party, shred the fabric of reality, or both.
Demon (who knows all): "So Lightbringer, you have done good for all. Underhand, stop stealing from all... Uh, err, Ranger... get... a name."
Constantly asks to reroll.
DM: Ok, roll for a save against the drow's poison.
1045
rolls and gets 1 below the DC) Oh come on! Can I roll again?DM: No.
1045: Please?
DM: No!
1045: Just this once?
DM: NO!!! :headexplo
#1046 Mr. Re-Re-Roller
Constantly asks the above and gets a lower roll then before.
DM: Ok, fine you can reroll this once...
1046: (rolls and gets 2-5 lower then the DC) Oh come on! Please and I reroll again?
DM: What do you think?
1046: Yes? (smiles sheepishly)
DM:
:headexplo #1047 Mr. Denile
You post something about someone cheating, rerolling, etc. on this or another forum and that person reads it and denies him/her ever doing that.
Example: My brother Jacob, my friend Mac, etc.
Personally, I think the "Spills-Root-Beer-All-Over-Your-Entire-Rulebook-Collection" is much, MUCH worse. Because it happened to me. Every single one of the 20-odd rulebooks I own smells of root beer and has brown stains in the margins. All because of one guy.
I wouldn't mind if my books smelled like root beer. I wouldn't like the stains though.
#1047 (I think): The Superiority Complex Gamer
When an in-party IC conflict arises, this gamer takes it all personally, because everything is clearly about him. Never matter that his character tried to kill another PC just to show off, when the rest of the party gangs up to stop him (PC), everyone is clearly turning against him (Player), which is ridiculous because he's the smartest one in the group!
We luckily got rid of this guy...seriously, at one point he got really upset because we killed his PC (he attacked us because he wanted attention...we defended ourselves) and at some point in his tirade, he yelled "I'm the smartest person in this room!"
Our reaction was somewhere along the lines of:
You just said what?This is the gamer that tries to convert you to his own "special" religion while you are trying to DM. Says many things such as:
"I walk 30 feet toward the basilisk... by the way, have you seen the light of Banjo yet?"
(Free cookie to whoever can figure out who Banjo is)
And speaking of Order of the Stick
1049: People who try to play the character they see in comics. Obviously they are not a serious take on the classes capabilities or what its like to roleplay a good character, and when put with real characters they fail miserably.
Yeah it seems mean at first. But really, somehow she spends like 3 hours a day finding pictures of really sexy elves/humans/druids/other barely clothed stuff on the internet to use as character pictures.
Was Banjo one of the many things that the bard in Order of the Stick tried to worship? I know he worshiped a puppet for a while, but I seem to recall others.
Elan only ever worshipped Banjo. He still does. And banjo is the puppet. Banjo also has an aspect known as Banjothulhu
My roommate does this, but instead of racial stereotypes it's class stereotypes. EVERY cleric has to be a turn-undead god, must only prepare healing spells, and of course, must be a gnome. They just don't work any other way. A figher who specializes in ranged weapons? That just won't work, because fighters have to be dwarves with axes or humans with greatswords!
The funny thing is I see so little of sterotypes its almost refreshing to see a Dwarven Axewielder or Cleric who heals and turns undead (that isn't a Broken Servant of Pelor). Everyone wants to be a chain fighter, or self-buffer, or worse can't decide what role they want to play--they've got more classes than a builder book.
Was Banjo one of the many things that the bard in Order of the Stick tried to worship? I know he worshiped a puppet for a while, but I seem to recall others.
Cookie for you!
#1051: [color=blue]The Goth[/color]
Thinks it would be Really Cool to have his/her character be suicidal and dress in black and wear all sorts of fetish gear and have bright green hair with pink stripes. Actually ends up being Really Retarded when 1051's character actually ends up killing herself (via criticaling on herself) mid-session while trying to be some sort of Wannabe Punk With A Lighter person.
142. The detect evil overloader.
She always plays a paladin. Cast detect evil on everything that moves, and then some. Kills anything that glows.
While killing anything that glows may not be a good idea, it never hurts to use detect evil on just about everything. What you don't know can get you killed.
While killing anything that glows may not be a good idea, it never hurts to use detect evil on just about everything. What you don't know can get you killed.
But then this ends up happening.
While killing anything that glows may not be a good idea, it never hurts to use detect evil on just about everything. What you don't know can get you killed.
Slay the foul beasts, I say! For they are quite rude and have very unsatisfactory table manners. After the fourth time I had the Orc Hordes over for tea and they broke my china teapot set, butchered the help, and raped my kitten, I started to take the results of my Detect Evil seriously.
We have one of these in our group. His name is Agmond, or a variation of Agmond. He is a human male rogue aspiring to become an assassin,
"worships" Nerull and looks just like the assassin in the DMG.
Alignment is ALWAYS neutral stupid....
Oh, and she also thinks that she is a fighter... with an ac of 13 and no mage armor spell!We had a player in our group (age 18, so he was old enough to know better) that had at least a half-dozen of the traits listed on this thread. Just one example... he would "pre-roll" his d20 before it was his turn, and it always turned out to be an 18 or better (and was finally caught by the DM, who then made him roll his dice in clear view of everyone).
Anywho... the following example that happened well over two years ago is still talked about in my new group to show just what a nightmare this guy was to play with.
The individual in question was playing a Wizard (we were all 6th lvl, I believe) in a party of 8 players, and had, of course, chosen Fireball and Lightning Bolt as his 3rd lvl spells (and would brag about how he could do more damage than any other character in our group). Which was true... he did do insane amounts of damage whenever he cast them... until the DM realized that the guy was using the "Maximize Spell" feat (which he clearly couldn't do, due to his needing to be at least 11th lvl to cast a maximixed 3rd lvl spell. He claimed he didn't know, which he later admited was a lie).
Anyways... the party was exploring an abandoned castle, and had entered a room that was 60 long, 30' wide, and had 6 closed, wooden doors (3 on each side). The group decided to check one door at a time, and had picked the 1st door to our right. It is important to note that with the exception of 2 characters, the rest were all lined-up in a row, stretching from the door we were about to open to the door directly opposite. The fighter-types (including my Fighter character) were in the front to take on any monsters that might be on the other side, with the Wizard near the end of the line.
After making our listen checks and hearing nothing, we opened the door to find 4 ghouls and 2 wights in the 20x20' room. Our cleric immediately did a turning attempt, which caused 2 of the ghouls to cower against the far wall. We then began to discuss that the best course of action would be for the fighters in front to step back enough to allow only one of the undead at a time to be caught in the doorway to be targeted by the group's concentrated attacks.
This was met with nods of approval from everyone in our group... except for the Wizard.
Wanting to show off his new Lightning Bolt spell, he declares on his initiative that he is going to cast it at the wight in the doorway.
Now.... I was fortunate enough to be playing with a bunch of good gamers who not only knew the rules of the game, but also tried to avoid metagaming at all costs. We looked at the guy playing the Wizard with pained expressions on our faces for knowing exactly what was going to happen if he did indeed cast his Lightning Bolt in that particular situation. Three of us, myself included, told the guy in slow, careful tones that we didn't think that was such a good idea. He either didn't pick up on our subtle warnings that he was about to do something very stupid or just didn't care. He stated that he wanted to cast Lightning Bolt. The DM, who was very good and very fair in his duties, tried to calmly tell the guy that he should re-read the description of the spell, and should really take his advice to "think things through" before acting. This went on for about 4 or 5 minutes, with the rest of us trying in vain to impart to him without meta-gaming that we were all very worried about what he was planning on doing.
The guy made a short speech about how he can kill all of the undead on his own with a single spell as opposed to the rest of the group making an orderly, co-ordinated attack, and said that he was casting Lightning Bolt, and that was his final decision.
The rest of the group looked at one another in resigned resignation... knowing full well what the end result was going to be. The DM let out a weary sigh before proceeding to explain what was going to happen next....
Since the Wizard was 2nd to last in line, with 4 other characters between him and the wight, his Lightning Bolt (with a range of 120' and which begins at his fingertips and proceeds in a straight line) zapped all 4 of us 1st and doing some serious damage (and dropping one character below 0 HP) before striking the wight (not killing it). It then proceeded to strike one of the ghouls against the far wall (killing it) before rebounding off of the stone wall, hitting the wight again (still not killing it), then once again striking all 6 characters (killing 3... including the Wizard, the Paladin and myself and leaving the other 3 all below 10 HP).
But wait.... since the 120' spell range had not yet been met, the bolt then smashed into the opposite wooden door, blasting it apart, to reveal 2 more wights and 4 more ghouls (I think one ghoul was killed by the bolt) before the spell finally ended. (Note: Looking back, I'm not sure if the Lightning Bolt spell was capable of rebounding off of a stone wall. We were playing 3rd ed back then, so I'm not sure if the spell description had changed).
What happened next can only be described as a massacre... the undead swarmed over the 3 seriously wounded players; killing another two of them and leaving just the Cleric and if I remember correctly the Rogue and an unconcious Ranger left.
Thankfully, our DM, who felt horrible that the rest of the group had to suffer over this glory-monger player's stupid actions, had some NPCs show up to rescue the remaining party members and having the rest of us raised from the dead.
I have a few more horror stories involving this guy, but this post went on way longer than I had planned... :embarrass
(Note: Looking back, I'm not sure if the Lightning Bolt spell was capable of rebounding off of a stone wall. We were playing 3rd ed back then, so I'm not sure if the spell description had changed).
I don't think it could ever do that...
From the SRD: "If the damage caused to an interposing barrier shatters or breaks through it, the bolt may continue beyond the barrier if the spell’s range permits; otherwise, it stops at the barrier just as any other spell effect does."
It wouldn't bounce off the wall, it'd stop at the wall.
#1053: The Non-Character Player
This one isn't horribly bad, but can be annoying. My brother is one of these. During a session, he hardly does anything. He'll rarely get involved in the game or his character. Normally, while the rest of the group is at the table roleplaying or fighting, he's sitting at the computer surfing the net until someone says it's his turn, or something involving him happens. Even then, there's no real roleplaying, it's just a qiuck, "Okay, I do ~this~" and then back to the computer. His PC is dubbed "No Name" by the other PCs because he never bothered to give him a name. In the game world, his character always sits or stands near the back of the group and doesn't say anything.
#1051: [color=blue]The Goth[/color]
Thinks it would be Really Cool to have his/her character be suicidal and dress in black and wear all sorts of fetish gear and have bright green hair with pink stripes. Actually ends up being Really Retarded when 1051's character actually ends up killing herself (via criticaling on herself) mid-session while trying to be some sort of Wannabe Punk With A Lighter person.
I tried this for a character once and it really sucked. From now on, my only character's that are even slightly gothic are rogues. (Since they need to wear dark clothes and all.)
1054: Mr. Can't Stop Touching the Terrain
This person is compelled to touch the trees laid out over the battle mat. For some reason, it feels almost god-like and rebellious to him to topple the plastic trees.
1055: The Soda Jerk
By jerk, I don't mean that this player is rude or mean, but that he just has to always have a soda at every point in the game. He can never be without a soda. (I've been guilty of this one a few times, to be truthful.)
1056: The Money Borrower
This doesn't mean the guy who asks for a nickel or a quarter every once in a while. This is the guy who wants to buy dice and munchies and expects that everyone else will be happy to lend him the cash.
1057: Merlin
This is the guy who always plays uber-powerful human wizards. (Or in the case of my gaming group, uber-powerful elf wizards.)
1058: Planar Pest
The nightmare of every DM; the bane of demons, devils, yugoloths, and just about anything else extraplanar. This person is the type who insists on finding a way to take the game off of the plane that they're on and on to some other plane that he finds to be more interesting.
1059: The Lazy SOB
This is the person who came without a character so instead of rolling one up he decides to be the twin brother of the guy sitting next to him, meaning that he looks the same, has the exact same stats, and is basically the same person with a different first name. (Usually "Joe.")
1060: Ye Olde Generic PC
This player is like the Lazy SOB, but instead of using someone else's character with an altered first name, he does roll up his own character...except that it's an extremely generic character that is full of more stereotypes than you can swing a Vorpal Greatsword at.
1061: The Online Gamer
This player is most commonly heard saying, "I can do that in my online campaign..."
1062: The Book Bringer
This isn't so much annoying as it is weird. I only bring the 3 core rulebooks to any session that I'm not DMing (sometimes I'll also bring Tome and Blood etc.). However, this player brings the 3 core rulebooks, SS, DMGII, MMII, MMIII, FF, FRCS, ECS, SCAP...need I continue? Basically, he brings a whole lot of books that he never uses in the entire session.
the bg spends all his time that isnt his turn asking where this book is or that book is so he can work on his plans for like 27 levels down the road hes the cousin the the online gamer because he too lacks all rpging skill
Insists on playing a character named "Ichigo Kurasaki" regardless of race/campaign setting/whatever. Especially since you aren't playing an oriental setting. Likes to name familiars after other anime characters (i.e. "Itachi"). Still remains active in campaign, but angered when you tell him he can't name his Strongheart halfling rogue from Waterdeep "Ichigo".
#1065 The Flippin' Moron
A player who does this:
E: I look over the cliff.
DM: What's your AC?
E: 17
DM: Ouch! You're hit by a poisoned arrow. Make a FORT save.
(Succeeds)
DM: You feel the effects of a potent poison, but shrug it off without any real harm.
E: Guys! Be careful! There's something that definently doesn't like us there!
#1065: I look over the cliff.
All:
Parrex: Hello my name is Parrex...
Everyone: Hi, Parrex!
Parrex: And I... am... uh...
Creepy Counselor: Go on its alright we're not here to judge
Parrex: I am... a highly annoying player
Everyone: -weak programmed applause-...
I am a highly annoying player, but my party puts up with me, because they have annoying tendencies themselves, so I thought we should refer annoying players to other annoying players, and maybe everyon could have fun, sort of like a leper colony.
Also I wanted to know just how annoying I am, so here's my character based on the lists:
I am currently in violation of the following player personality problems
#3 The Librarian, #5 The Metagamer, #6 The Take-Backer, #9, #10, #11, #14 , #19,
#20 in reference to my maxed out skill jump ( I'm a fighter with the flying kick feat),
#22 I tend to hide and move silently then circle around behind the monsters, use my amazing initiative to ready an action wait until the opportune moment, and burst out of the brush to power attack a BBEG whenever I feel like it.
The inverse of #28, I have a high reflex and Evasion (go Unearthed Arcana) so I'm constantly trying to get the mage to cast fireball on me, regardless of the fact that I'm only facing two monsters and the rest of the party is within range.
Thus I have tendencies of #29 but not frequently
The opposite of #33
#36,
a variation of #42 the incredibly comcplicated stupid names player, my characters name is Ixthylliachtu Totalb'adass
#47, #49,
#50 (Thanks again to the Unearthed Arcana) I have a fighter with sneak attack and evasion, chief skills: hide and move silently.
#55 to a lesser degree, #57 (in my opinion), #58 (in my parties opinion, I'm just not a newbie) #66 I swear, #71 when it comes to traps, #75 without the tendencies related to other player personality problems, #88, #90, #94a The Zooligist, not the Evil Baron, #96, #99, #97 according to Jaimas, #98 according to Jaimas, #99 according to Jaimas, #109, #110, #111 without being a nazi about it,
...as well as many others most like, to be continued...
This guy is fun to play with and makes interesting characters, but you can nver get a hold of him to tell him when a meeting is. And if you do manage to tell him about a meeting, he doesn't show up. (I have one of these, we're trying to make clones of him so everyone in the gorup has one in case the others disappear)
#70: The Literalist
Believes there are no exceptions to the rules.
Example:
DM: Okay, what do you do?
PC: I, as a free action, give a long speech to the goblins about the wonders of Pelor and how they should convert.
DM: That wouldn't be a free action
PC: Yes it would, talking in combat is a free action
DM:
#1052 The "I'm too self-absorbed in my own need to be a glory-hound to acknowledge the other player's none-to-subtle hints that I am about to do something very stupid" player.
. . .
I have a few more horror stories involving this guy, but this post went on way longer than I had planned... :embarrass
Well, whenever you feel like sharing more, I'm interested.
I don't think it could ever do that...
From the SRD: "If the damage caused to an interposing barrier shatters or breaks through it, the bolt may continue beyond the barrier if the spell’s range permits; otherwise, it stops at the barrier just as any other spell effect does."
It wouldn't bounce off the wall, it'd stop at the wall.
Pre 3.0 LBs do. Many older players went several shades of pale when they finally figured out LBs can no longer zap someone twice...
Guilty.
(snip)
"Q'eiran Brightmoon" was given up on to play the current "Cael'maris Shadowmoon."
(snip)
Since the number count has obviously failed, I'm just going to title them instead of numbering them.
The Apostrophe Abuser
This player type *loves* elves, and can never make an elf name that doesn't have at *least* one apostrophe per word, and, really, the more the merrier. Typically winds up with character names that are unpronouncable.
eudas
Well, whenever you feel like sharing more, I'm interested.
Ask, and thou shalt receive... :D
Ok... this next story involves the same player, playing the same Wizard character. This happened close to 2 years ago, so my memory is a little fuzzy on some of the smaller details.
Our party at the time was around 8th lvl, and said player was still as arrogant as ever. What made him even more of a pain in the buttocks was that out of the 8 people in our gaming group, he was the only one who didn't at least try to role play his character. It was all strictly roll play for him... "I see the monster. I roll a 18. We kill it. I take the treasure. Wake me when we fight something else."
Anywho, our characters were in a small town and in a tavern trying to gather info on our main adversary. Something happened... it might have been a confrontation with some drunk NPCs... where the rest of the group was RP'ing in character trying to diffuse the situation, Mr. Wizard announces that he is going to intimidate the local yokels by casting some spells at them, and proceeds to do so. Basically, he was bored with our attempts to do things through role playing, and was feeling pretty cocky that his character could get away with anything, saying that if the town guards gave him any trouble he would simply Fireball them.
The rest of our gaming group, once again, were getting disgusted at his attitude and lack of taking the game seriously, and our DM, feeling the same, decided to teach him a lesson.
Our DM announced that the town guard, upon hearing what was happening in the tavern, rushed in with swords drawn an announced that there was a town ordinance stating that all Wizards and Sorcerers were required by law to declare themselves at the town hall, and that the casting of any spells was strictly forbidden without a special permit. Since our Wizard had blatantly broken the law by assaulting some of the patrons in the tavern with magic, he was to be put under arrest until he could be brought to trial later that day.
The Wizard says to the rest of the group that we could easily kill the guards and leave, but imagine his shock when the rest of us refused to come to his aid should he attempt to resist arrest.
Long story short, with the DM hinting to him that he should go quietly with the guards, the Wizard is arrested and put on trial. Upon being found guilty, the judge informs him that the punishment for his crimes was to have one of his hands cut off (causing the Wizard to suffer a 50% chance of failing to cast any spell with a somatic component... a fitting punishment in the eyes of our DM and the rest of the group).
Of course, Mr. Wizard whined on and on about this not being fair, but the DM basically told him "tough luck". When he continued to grumble about how he was being singled out for punishment, the DM (we found this out after the game) really decided to get nasty with him.
He had an NPC come up to the party and said how he had heard of what had happened to the Wizard's hand, and that he was a surgeon who could graft on a new one... for a price, of course. I think it was something around 5,000 gp, which the Wizard didn't have. The NPC said that he would accept some of the Wizard's magical items (I think it was a few wands) as payment, to which he begrudgingly agreed to.
What we didn't know was that the NPC was really a lackey of our party's arch nemesis, and that the hand that he had grafted onto the Wizard was none other than.... you guessed it! The Hand of Venca! :evillaugh
What made what happened next so deliciously evil was that the player never heard of the Hand of Venca, so had no clue what to expect. All the NPC told him was the hand used to belong to a powerful mage, and that whoever had the hand would be granted magical powers beyond his wildest dreams (the DM told him just a few of it's powers... just enough to make him salivate with glee). This, of course, made the player even more of a pompous jerk as, whenever he didn't get his way, he would threaten the other characters.
Well... imagine his surprise when he tried to use the hand for the 1st time, that he found that it refused to work for him. In fact... the DM informed him with a wicked grin that it seemed that the hand had a will (ego) of it's own, and for him to make an opposed check to prevent the hand from forcing him to do it's bidding. The player begins to panic as he realizes to his horror that his uber-powerful hand comes with a price, and tells the DM that he wants to cut it off. The DM replies that sure, he could do that, but should the hand be removed, it would kill him instantly (I don't know if that was actually in the description of the artifact, or just something our DM made up to really scare the crap out of him).
In the end, the DM let him sweat over his plight for most of the session before having the hand removed without killing him. From that game forward, he was still somewhat of a jerk, but a lot more subdued knowing that we weren't going to put up with his crap. The End.
(Sorry again for rambling on, and for any errors in spelling... it's 2am here, and I'm dead tired)
Ask, and thou shalt receive... :D
Great story! I've played a little D&D, and on several occasions I can remember some heavy hinting during game play, and I wisely trusted the group. Not that I've always done what was suggested to me, but I can tell when the group is trying to prevent a catastrophy. I've found that if you trust your fellow players, they'll keep you alive and everyone will have fun.
Well, most of our group is in High school now, we have all gone through the immature stage and now are wanting to be more free willed (as you might expect) except for one thing. We have a 6th grader in group. Now he is the cousin of DM so parents say we have to let him play. But man! It is really annoying to talk to him. He thinks he can kill anything with a sword and thinks me, a 10th level wizard, can't kill his lvl 6 Fighter. Also, he never pays attenchin and gets bored. So I just really hate players that are so much less mature than the group that they drag everything down to laboratory jokes and rude words. It runes the game.
-rant off
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
Hmm. How about "people who think that dice are alive, or think". Or, players that actually try to re-roll bad rolls, for no reason other than that it rolled badly.
Dm: "no - you failed your spot check. No, you may not "try again". Finbarr the thief did not notice whatever it was. It's that simple."
This player can't actually roll worth crap, but is convinced that they can "charge" their dice with some mystical energy that will cause them to roll well whenever they need them to. This fails miserably, of course, but it doesn't stop the Failed Dice Jesus from believing in it anyway.
eudas
This player can't actually roll worth crap,
Describes how I roll very well.
I'm just a failed dice thrower, myself.
Describes how I roll very well.
So, lots of 2's through 7's?
I have a friend for whom i have personally purchased at least two new d20's for, and he *still* can't roll reliably to save his life (or his character's, rather).
eudas
Yes I am the "regular" DM.
#?) D&D sucks player: Constantly complains about how D&D is such a rotten game system and how (alternate RPG) is sooo much better to play. But when given the opportunity to run the other game system runs it so badly that they stop the campaign despite the players being willing to continue anyway. (Hey we all had to start somewhere!).
#115 The pencil muncher
God i don't know which one of my players is this one but iam bloody sure he exists. You could go down to your stationary shop on saturday morning and buy 20 pencils complete with rubbers by the end of the session on saturday night you will have a broken 1/2 pencil with a rubber on and a couple of pencils with broken leads all the way down.
Maybe their i new life form that exist on graphite?
Why would he chew on a condom?
Personally, I think the "Spills-Root-Beer-All-Over-Your-Entire-Rulebook-Collection" is much, MUCH worse. Because it happened to me. Every single one of the 20-odd rulebooks I own smells of root beer and has brown stains in the margins. All because of one guy.
This is why no manner of unbottled drink is allowed at the game or within 10 ft. of my books.
1) Party Control-freak: the guy that always wants every party member to "pool" their money, weapons, supplies..... and then HE re-distributes them!
2) The Maverick: He is ALWAYS somewhere else. He's out in the hall, in the street, back at the house - never where the REST of the party is...
3) The Teleport-to-Loot guy: During the fight.... you can't find him, but let something DIE - and he is ALWAYS the first there.... even if someone else killed it.
love them really thoughWhy would he chew on a condom?
I think he was talking about erasers.
all stereotypes (half orc barbarian)
and the guy who always plays a girl and seduces everyone
Basically, at the least about 80% of the time I rolled less than a ten. True story: I had one character whose stats were all rolled in the negatives, and after racial bonuses managed to get a zero in one stat. The DM felt so bad he let me reroll it, and lo and behold, similar stats. So then we got someone else to roll them for me.
we all roll with calculators. it ends up pretty even.
Someone random => so what do you do in your free time?
You => Oh, I play DnD.
SR =>(pictures the dumbass) OH...your one of those people...Thats cool. I guess.
You => Nonono I"m not like that I'm normal just like you kind...dnd isn't that bad.
SR =>YEah sure (already formed their opinion and can't be changed anymore.)
Well... imagine his surprise when he tried to use the hand for the 1st time, that he found that it refused to work for him. In fact... the DM informed him with a wicked grin that it seemed that the hand had a will (ego) of it's own, and for him to make an opposed check to prevent the hand from forcing him to do it's bidding. The player begins to panic as he realizes to his horror that his uber-powerful hand comes with a price, and tells the DM that he wants to cut it off. The DM replies that sure, he could do that, but should the hand be removed, it would kill him instantly (I don't know if that was actually in the description of the artifact, or just something our DM made up to really scare the crap out of him).
Hand (and Eye) of Vecna kills the wearer if removed. They are, however, major artifact level items and turn you Evil on a fairly high Will save which you have to make on a regular basis.
This item is in the DMG under Major Artifacts. And yes, it is really bad and nasty and I applaud your DM for using it. I am surprised that the BBEG didn't use it on himself first, though.
Oh, and given that your characters knew nothing about the Hand, I'd allow him to take it off and then have him roll up a new character. At level 1.
Once the shock has worn off, I'd extract a promise to never be a jerk again out of the player before allowing him a new character of old level -1. THAT will teach him a lesson.
Hand (and Eye) of Vecna kills the wearer if removed. They are, however, major artifact level items and turn you Evil on a fairly high Will save which you have to make on a regular basis.
This item is in the DMG under Major Artifacts. And yes, it is really bad and nasty and I applaud your DM for using it. I am surprised that the BBEG didn't use it on himself first, though.
Oh, and given that your characters knew nothing about the Hand, I'd allow him to take it off and then have him roll up a new character. At level 1.
Once the shock has worn off, I'd extract a promise to never be a jerk again out of the player before allowing him a new character of old level -1. THAT will teach him a lesson.
Bah; let him play at level 1, AND get that promise. If he leaves, you haven't lost anything. If he stays, then he must be so desparate for a game/human interaction that you can hold the "get out of here" card over him whenever he even thinks of being an ass.
Someone random => so what do you do in your free time?
You => Oh, I play DnD.
SR =>(pictures the dumbass) OH...your one of those people...Thats cool. I guess.
You => Nonono I"m not like that I'm normal just like you kind...dnd isn't that bad.
SR =>YEah sure (already formed their opinion and can't be changed anymore.)
People like this aren't worth associating with anyways.
1091: the copier. 1091 has 1 character. he will always play that character. the character dies - he restarts with the same character. you take the sheet away, he has 40 more of that character.
This player not only kills everything in sight,but also has the power to kill ANYTHING.NPC?kill.Dragon?kill.Mordenkainen?compliment on his skills then kill.
This player, annoyed at her fairly bland characters previously, will suddenly come up with some stupid character concept to accidentally kill all other player's interest in role-playing. For example, a fighter who can't keep on topic, sings randomly, acts randomly, and more-or-less is a drag not only on the players but the group as well. Jar-Jar Binks would be less annoying, since while he's stupid at least you can get him to walk straight.
1094. The 'that's not what *I* want us to do!' brat
Won't pay attention to what's going on, then will get mad and want to undo the previous three rounds so that she can suddenly drag the characters off into the hallway that the rogue thinks might be trapped and leads straight to the dragon instead of sneaking past and getting the treasure. Not interested in XP, just control. Young enough you can't call a control freak.
1095. The mentally deficient player
Not actually retarded, nor even autistic. Simply can't follow the most basic plan. "Let's all walk in there calmly, and you stay quiet" will take 20 minutes to explain, and even then there's a chance she can't follow.
Sadly, I know all three of these. They're the same person. I wish I could get away from her... but I can't just yet. <_< Soon.
Sadly, I know all three of these. They're the same person. I wish I could get away from her... but I can't just yet. <_< Soon.
Lemme guess, sibling?
#51: the herbal medicator.
must self medicate before, during, and after the game. likes to "hit" something alright, just not in the game.
I know that guy! Actually, I DM a group of about four of them. I've only ever had one player who didn't fit that description, and he was a jerk.
1097: player that wont shut up and has the dumbest ideas
1098: greedy bastard
this kid wants to sell EVERYTHING! i mean everything, even loinclothes from undead. morningstars from bugbears! he even asked if he could sell an abandoned mansion to someone, the worst has to be when he tried to sell grass to little children for 1gp per tuft
i mean come on !!!!!!!! wtf???
Oki, I got some of my own to add. Usually varients of the ones mentioned (took me an entire night to get through this forum).
My current group I can forgive a lot of their behaviors because theyre all very new to RPGing as a whole.
One is currently in the pit of Angsty Loner. He's a monk bent on revenge and being all angsty and lonery. At least this his just his character and not himself.
I have an Anime Fan. Not horrible, though I've made fun of him for it. He takes japanese names for his characters (regardless of setting), and borrows aspects from japanese anime characters; weapons, appearence, ect. Though he does at least avoid totally copying the characters, so I do have some releife.
Saw this new breed for the first time: Searches EVERYTHING. The instant the DM springs the first trap, he begins to search EVERYTHING. The carpet, the wall, the floor, that insignificant speck of dust on the far wall. EVERYTHING. Even if he does not have trapfinding and has been told that he wont find any traps as a result. Comically, this person will also be hit by traps when the rogue doesn't roll to search for traps.
Alignment Excuser: This one uses his Alignment to get away with seemingly evil acts. Usually this player takes Chaotic Neutral, or Chaotic Good.
Player: I wanna be Chaotic Neutral so I can steal stuff.
Me(DM): You know, just like real life, there are consiquences to stealing.
Player: Thats not fair!
By the same token, these players use Chaotic Good as an excuse to upset social order.
Ex: (not happened but did occur in discussion)
Player wants to overthrow local government (Lawful Good), because Lawfulness restricts personal freedom.
Now for ones from games past.
Screaming Roller: This breed tends to be several years younger then the usuall gamers and when they roll, they hug the die to them then scream as they pitch the die onto the table while screaming at the top of their lungs, then once they discover the result they scream even louder, either in excitement or indignation.
Me: Congrats, you picked a lock...
Reroller: This one usually is also a Screaming Roller. Where, when they fail, regardless of the action, want to reroll.
DM: You fail your reflex save, you take...
Player: I wanna reroll! I get a chance to reroll dont I!?
DM: No, you can't retry jumping over a pit, you either succeed or fail.
Player: MAN! Thats so gay! You should be allowed to reroll!
Roll-Player: Beleives that whenever you say "role-playing game" youre actually saying "roll-playing game" and wont listen otherwise. Is among the types listed who builds his character for combat only and thinks having a background is stupid and a waist of time. These are usually people who were raised on games like Warhammer (not that I have anything against Warhammer), or any number of video games.
I'm out of ideas but if I remember more I'll be sure to post them. :D
The guy/gal who always has to say something stupid in a coversation with an enemy NPC ruining the chances of the party getting out of the fight.
Actually i am guilty of that...
I made fun of a dragon as the rest of the party was talking to him...i ended up getting a very heavy wing to the face.
To make it worse, he is so heavy handed that his entire character sheet is imprinted on the covers of my expensive and otherwise well maintained books.
guy who picks 16 flaws to get 8 extra first level feats. his ninja's dark secret is that he's gay. i encourage people to get flaws, but i exploit them at every opportunity, it makes role-playing more fun!
1108: flaw fanatic,
guy who picks 16 flaws to get 8 extra first level feats. his ninja's dark secret is that he's gay. i encourage people to get flaws, but i exploit them at every opportunity, it makes role-playing more fun!
The books says you can only pick 2... so he is also "the cheater"
The books says you can only pick 2... so he is also "the cheater"
yeah, but those pesky rules are just optional...
rules are guidelines, right?...
rules are meant to be broken?
/me hates people who say things like the above.
/me is lawful neutral.
/me says, if you don't want to use the rules, don't spend $90 on books. we can buy beer instead and just play pretend.
eudas
As a Dm I try to include any and all players to the table, but this one guy...
I HATED HIM!
His character was a minotaur barbarian and he somehow had an INT score of 16 but he himself was more of a 6! Every game when the party had something serious or dire to attend to he would do one of the following a) Make a lame-ass joke involving something childish or immature b) Have his character take a leak on something! Oh man was he frustrating! A good example of this:
Me as DM: You come to a small village that has been burned down, there seems to be no survivors.
Another player: I begin searching the fallen houses for signs of life.
Me: O.K.
Horrible player: I begin screeming "WEEE!" and p*ssing all over the burned-up houses.
Me:
Stuff like this, non-stop, all the time! I'm glad I got rid of him.
I was playing in a campaign with a friend of mine. We were both gnomes he was a rouge I was a bard most sessions went like this.
DM:The shop owner asks if he can help you.
Anmore the guy: I run outside and attack a bush.
Me: Hey DM can I change my class to fighter so I can kill this tard.
Anmore: Hey dont kill me for that my mother was killed by a bush.This is revenge
The DM eventual killed him off with a beefed shambling mound.
while we're on the topic...
Bob: I start to randomly kill off the villagers until one tells us what happened.
DM: Your a Paladin!
Bob: They Are Obstructing Justice!
DM: they don't know what Happened! That's not in your Code Of Honor! That's not even Good... or Lawful!
Bob: well, I am assisting the greater good, elevating the risk to boost thier memories at least enough to tell us something, And It is Lawful, Lawful means you Follow as set of Guidelines, and These Are My Guidelines, Whatever it takes to help the innocent!
DM: you mean... the one's your slaughtering?
#1107 - The guy who insists on using my rulebooks as a clipboard.
To make it worse, he is so heavy handed that his entire character sheet is imprinted on the covers of my expensive and otherwise well maintained books.
You caught me, I do that to my books while making up adventures. :embarrass
#1110 Mr. Carbon Copier
Related to and usually coped with #1107, he draws something on a book on the back of his char. sheet, some paper, etc. and then draws on the front. Unfortunately he uses pencil so what ever he draws on the front is copied into you book's pages like carbon copy paper.
Unfortunately I do this also.
#1111 (ooh!) The Artist
The one who draws all over the character sheet, front and back, margins and all. Eventually complains of a dull pencil. My artist wasted our time requesting that everyone sharpen their pencils; and then decided he wanted to redo his character sheet because it was too messy. He copies over his stats and starts doodling again....
Gimpy - I stab him in the back, so he takes Backstab damage!
DM - No it doesn't. Combat has already happened and he's not flat-footed anymore, so it's regular damage.
Gimpy - But that's how Backstab works!
DM - This is 3.5, not 2.0...
Gimpy - But (rant rant rant)...
F-H: "I'm the best fighter there is!"
me: "Wanna spar?"
F-H: "I'm not gonna waste my time on you."
me: "Are you afraid of me?"
F-H looks at me then proceeds to roll on the floor laughing his behin off.
me: "GRRRR..." *kicks the writhing form on the ground*
F-H: "It does nothing to me and i continue laughing."
I have 2 of those in my group.
The guy who doesn't pay attention during any aspect of the game. When it's his/her turn to do something, rolls a d20 without saying anything, then remembers to say, "Oh, yeah, I attack the thing," or something to that effect.
1109:technical alignment bender
Bob: I start to randomly kill off the villagers until one tells us what happened.
DM: Your a Paladin!
Bob: They Are Obstructing Justice!
DM: they don't know what Happened! That's not in your Code Of Honor! That's not even Good... or Lawful!
Bob: well, I am assisting the greater good, elevating the risk to boost thier memories at least enough to tell us something, And It is Lawful, Lawful means you Follow as set of Guidelines, and These Are My Guidelines, Whatever it takes to help the innocent!
DM: you mean... the one's your slaughtering?
Our group had (has) this type of player character. Constantly manipulating philosophy/perspective to try and get away with a-hole behavior. Had to keep pressuring the PC until he gave up on the character and let him die so he could generate a new one. Hopefully the new one will be less an a-hole (but I have my doubts).
(#66a) Failed Dice Jesus
This player can't actually roll worth crap, but is convinced that they can "charge" their dice with some mystical energy that will cause them to roll well whenever they need them to. This fails miserably, of course, but it doesn't stop the Failed Dice Jesus from believing in it anyway.
eudas
Shouldn't this one be called a "Dice Anti-Christ"?
And be #666?
#92: Ken
If your name is Ken, no offense, because I'm referring to THE Ken.
Me: So what do you think about the war in Iraq?
Ken: A red dragon could kill Saddam!
Me: Have you taken the Physics GRE yet?
Ken: What's that?
Me: It's the test you have to take to get into grad school to study advanced Physics...wait, I thought you wanted to be a Physicist? Do you even have any plans for after graduation other than staying home, watching hentai, and playing D&D?
Ken:...no...
I know I probably shouldn't get personal, and I probably should come up with some general nametag to describe the Ken. However, I have instead opted to convert his own name into a pejorative term. As in my own house rule: "Don't be a Ken."
I used to know someone IDENTICAL to this (remove Physics references & add "get a job")
#92(a) Nickname: Boggit
My brother, a couple of mates and I created mythical DnD beasts/Magic cards referencing him.... we hated him with a passion, but he was always chuckle-worthy. He also believed that any game that he failed to succeed at was "ganging up on him" and said "no, no, no and the point is!" any time anyone disagreed with his inherently flawed comments.
He always makes the stupidest characters, being ridiculously outrageous pyromaniacs burning anything. he once found an ioun stone and swallowed it, after killing a shaman and looting his house.
He also broke into some elf womans house and asked her to forgive him in return for lemon tarts, and as he was dragged away he was screaming lemon tarts.
He got a bag of holding at an outpost (inn, shop, tavern) and put everyone inside of it and then unleashed everything, not realising before he bought it there was a seven headed hydra (we were level 1 at this time).
also whenever im a player, since im his younger brother he always picks on my character etc . . he is just a horrible player.
-Always plays Chaotic stupid PCs
-Looting, stuff, getting stuff, more looting, and gold pieces are the only 8 words he knows
-Lies, cheats, and steals
-tries to kill other PCs that go against him
-roll player
-VERY loud voice
-obnoxious
-doesn't know when to shut up
-wants a lightsaber
-Every character he plays is named "Fenir"
-Chaotic Neutral but still Chaotic Evil
-He "is" the group
-wants two lightsabers
-Every ability score is above 15, however, rolled all 11s or 12s upon creation
-character's name is "Fenir"
-still won't shut up
-Just looted a Jewlery store
-VERY VERY loud voice
-wants three lightsabers
-munchkin
-no, scratch that- SUPER munchkin
-He just powered up with a Munchkin mushroom
-you take 12 damage (minus 4 damage...)
-AC is really 14, not 16
-always a Rogue
-wants four lightsabers
-Just robbed a beggar for 2 cp
-Just kicked that beggar for 3 more
-wants five lightsabers
-no, he wants a- oh, a Double Lightsaber? ok
-what, the dice rolled off the table?
-it's a 20!
-just robbed a candy shop
-got three masterwork chocolate hunks, and an +5 everlasting Gobstopper
-just got another 18
-19, sorry
-oh, thats a crit? Hmm
-46 damage? with a dagger?
-oh, you had your +7 Kukris of death out, ok
-wants a Tank
-rolled an 8...
-wait, thats an 18!
-wants a 6th lightsaber
-wait, we arent playing SWRPG!
-You aren't even a Jedi!?!
-A soldier, ok
-VERY VERY VERY loud voice
-just robbed the Wizard PC
-Just got blasted with a Fireball...
-and takes 3000 fire damage!
-You still aren't dead?
-Hmm, a Red Dragon bursts through the Inn door, you are flat-footed
-(DM rolls an 8, no, a 20) you take 215467 fire damage from the fire breath!
-"YAY"
-you're not dead yet?!?
-@#$%
-wants to become president
-of the world
-now commands an entire fleet of Star destroyers
-just robbed a-
The list of Zach goes on forever, I'll spare you the rest
#93: My Brother Robb.
He always makes the stupidest characters, being ridiculously outrageous pyromaniacs burning anything. he once found an ioun stone and swallowed it, after killing a shaman and looting his house.
He also broke into some elf womans house and asked her to forgive him in return for lemon tarts, and as he was dragged away he was screaming lemon tarts.
He got a bag of holding at an outpost (inn, shop, tavern) and put everyone inside of it and then unleashed everything, not realising before he bought it there was a seven headed hydra (we were level 1 at this time).
also whenever im a player, since im his younger brother he always picks on my character etc . . he is just a horrible player.
I just have to know: why was there a seven headed hydra in a bag of holding, and how'd your group get a bag of holding at level 1?
96: The Diceologist
Studies the science of dice, talks constantly about "average die roll," tries to kill you when you roll the dice for fun (out of game) because "dice only have so many rolls before they become unbalanced." However, when making characters on their own, always gets 18s on characters....
It doesn't sound annoying but it is!
In the current campaign, it was a necrophiliac homosexual man
This is the person who always want to fight in real. he owns all the amour that his charter has and insists that every party memeber carry everything that they have on their sheet. he will often ask to play outside (even in the winter) and has a boundless apatite. when he is fighting something in game if he is loseing he is often quoted on saying " I could so kick this guys *** in real come on dm lets really do it" after saying this he will pull out a real sword.
Joins your group, then after a couple of weeks, starts complaining about D&D, the campaign, the lack of role-playing, the speed of leveling, the focus on game mechanics, the game mechanics themselves, and the lack of realism in the HP system, and how this could all be solved by switching to a GURPS game.
The barbarian who always tries to split from the party and do things on his own, getting himslef a) Killed or b) Almost killed
#?+1) The player that always listens to music and draws and when something he objects to happens he says ,
"Thats stupid, why would your character do that?"
other player- "What do you suggest i do then?"
"I dont, thats stupid though"
This player somehow always has the feat or skill bonus to fit the situation.
I'm personally having trouble with a Red Mage in a game I'm in. He listed the three feats he had, then only hours later (we hadn't leveled), I heard him calling on quick draw. He didn't have quick draw four hours ago! He also insists on making characters that are horribly broken. Not only are they way too powerful, but they don't follow D&D or DM rules.
The Read-to-Suit
This player only reads about the first third of spell/ability descriptions. You know, the half without the drawbacks. So, of course, he's casting tongues to read magic runes...
#XXX: I succeed only when it truly counts!!!
Not a bad player but they will almost never succeed at a single roll unless their life depended on it... but on the plus side every time the roll really counts they mysteriously succeed so they never actually die.
#XXX: 20 sided die with all 1s
Also not a bad player but they couldn't make a good roll to save their life, worst off they get a important roll like finding traps, their rolling makes the team barbarian who has a wisdom score of 1 more effective at finding traps.
#XXX: Karma has gone bazerk!!!
Also not a bad player but you honestly wonder how their character can get out of bed without dying. This is a subsection of the above one. Not only do they fail their rolls but seemingly every roll relating to them is set to uttarly destroy them. While they are rolling natural 1s to hit the enemy the enemy is rolling natural 20s.
However the best way to fix the above ones is to use what I call "Reversed rolls"... unfortunatly it turns the most unlucky player in the group into a DJ (I know someone here invented it befor me)
Will interpret any spell, feat, skill, ECT. to do what he/she thinks it should do. An example, a player has a feat that allows him to handle a weapon as if it was a masterwork weapon. The Interpreter thought this meant the person with the feat could turn any weapon into a MW item.
The wizard who thinks he is a Sorcerer
As a wizard he seems to magically (no pun intended) have the exact or rare spell that will resolve the situation. Trust me it's not good planning ahead, because this person is also the dosen't learn the spells character.
Everything is a Joke guy
When in a serious monment or trying to RP an important conversation or meeting. The player makes jokes continuosly, disrupting the situation. It's OK that this happens every-now-and-then, but this seems to happen more often-than-not.
112...Oh, it's my turn
This guy waits until his turn to start thinking about his combat options. Even if in melee with someone he has to consider the entire tactical situation, and re-read all of his special abilities. If he is a spell caster he will try to re-read the descriptions of all his spells. Meanwhile the rest of the group sits and stares, until he decides to cast magic missle, swing his sword, or run away.
An offshoot of this one. The guy who does the above but always feels the need to tell you the tactics you need to do during your turn.
Dm: You are flying around the castle when suddenly a man appears and you stop frozen in place.
PC: Ouch! omg! I think you just broke my back!
Dm: You don't feel any pain, your just stuck.
PC: Do I take any penaltys for attacking now?
Dm: No your fine!
PC: OK. I attack him!
Dm: Your frozen in place remember?
PC: I look at my sword laying on the ground.
Dm: Your sword is still in your hand!
PC: But I would drop it if my body went riged!
Dm: The man that was going to help you casts finger of death.
PC: *prenteds to have a spasm*
Dm: GAH!!!!!
Attention-seeking over-excited nutjob.
Played LOADS in his youth but has spent the last few years groupless and compensating by buying allllll the sourcebooks to read for fun and mentally reliving the glory days when his long-time campaign went through the epic levels.
Now he's back... and moaning like merry hell because one roll of 8 means he can't play any of the super-duper builds that have been whizzing round his head over the last years, which all seem to require three 17+'s and no score below 13.
Instead, shows off his roleplaying skills with an unplayable, not-funny "look at me, everybody!" concept that leaves us all wondering what possible IC reason we'd have to go within a country mile of him. Having crippled himself in the name of roleplay he complains that his character's crap in combat (yup, it's a wizard) and "can't do anything" compared to anyone else's. Guess those rose-tinted nostalgia glasses made him forget what D&D was always really like. ;)
Is so excited to be gaming again that he forgets the three other players in the group who might, y'know, want to do stuff themselves as well as watching him. Has to be the centre of/respond to everything, even if his character isn't in the room! Refuses to be the leader because "it's not in character", but try shutting him up during the game. Acts passively-aggressively uncomfortable OOC when our characters get annoyed at him in-game for sodding up the party's goals yet again with his character's stupid comments or deal-breaking reactions (he's "just doing what my character would do" despite reasonable Int, Wis and Cha, whereas we're... I don't know).
When it's not his go (and when he's not busy interrupting to tell us what his character intends to do on his next go), he's distracting the DM with his latest playable race or special feat discovery with the expression of a toddler who's just gone in the potty for the first time and asking whether such-and-such a spell or PrC would be acceptable (even though it's at least six levels away and bears no resemblance to his stated concept).
If he wasn't such a nice guy out of game, and so obviously thrilled to be playing again, he'd be a royal pain. As it is... any suggestions for shutting him up in a non-confrontational manner so that the rest of us could interact with an NPC from time to time, advance the plot or maybe even get some character development of our own, would be much appreciated!
"William Shatner"
This player is so overly dramatic,he makes William Shatner himself look talentless.
DM:You are hit by an arrow.Let's see....1 damage.
PC:ahh*pauses*oh,AHHHH,OH the un-bea-rabl-e PAIINNNNN!!!!*overly dramatic pained look*
DM:
Ok......Then the NPC insults you.PC:bo-oho-oo why?Oh,I'm he-art-broke-n!!!*breaks down crying*
DM:GRRRRRR!!!!!!One of your party members is killed by a trap.
PC:OH SPOCK!!!WHY?!!He was soo-ooo young!!We h-ar-dl-y knew him......KKKKKKKKKHHHHAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!
DM: :headexplo
:hoppingma#+1
Attention-seeking over-excited nutjob.
Played LOADS in his youth but has spent the last few years groupless and compensating by buying allllll the sourcebooks to read for fun and mentally reliving the glory days when his long-time campaign went through the epic levels.
Now he's back... and moaning like merry hell because one roll of 8 means he can't play any of the super-duper builds that have been whizzing round his head over the last years, which all seem to require three 17+'s and no score below 13.
Instead, shows off his roleplaying skills with an unplayable, not-funny "look at me, everybody!" concept that leaves us all wondering what possible IC reason we'd have to go within a country mile of him. Having crippled himself in the name of roleplay he complains that his character's crap in combat (yup, it's a wizard) and "can't do anything" compared to anyone else's. Guess those rose-tinted nostalgia glasses made him forget what D&D was always really like. ;)
Is so excited to be gaming again that he forgets the three other players in the group who might, y'know, want to do stuff themselves as well as watching him. Has to be the centre of/respond to everything, even if his character isn't in the room! Refuses to be the leader because "it's not in character", but try shutting him up during the game. Acts passively-aggressively uncomfortable OOC when our characters get annoyed at him in-game for sodding up the party's goals yet again with his character's stupid comments or deal-breaking reactions (he's "just doing what my character would do" despite reasonable Int, Wis and Cha, whereas we're... I don't know).
When it's not his go (and when he's not busy interrupting to tell us what his character intends to do on his next go), he's distracting the DM with his latest playable race or special feat discovery with the expression of a toddler who's just gone in the potty for the first time and asking whether such-and-such a spell or PrC would be acceptable (even though it's at least six levels away and bears no resemblance to his stated concept).
If he wasn't such a nice guy out of game, and so obviously thrilled to be playing again, he'd be a royal pain. As it is... any suggestions for shutting him up in a non-confrontational manner so that the rest of us could interact with an NPC from time to time, advance the plot or maybe even get some character development of our own, would be much appreciated!
During the game would be best. IG, have your characters sit down with his character, after a "we need to talk" conversation where you just basically make him realize that issues have arisen, and then IG talk to his character about said character's actions. It would probably be something to start with, and be an IG reason for his character to have some changes in his actions from there on out.
Everything is a Joke guy
When in a serious monment or trying to RP an important conversation or meeting. The player makes jokes continuosly, disrupting the situation. It's OK that this happens every-now-and-then, but this seems to happen more often-than-not.
Unfortunately, this was my former DM
Calls all dwarves Gimli, all wizards Gandalf etc. When offered Boots of Haste will reply "I dont need shoes, im a hobbit!"
Cant understand why the DM will not let them have regional feats for growing up in Mordor.
Ummm... One Does not Simply Take Regional Feats into Mordor!
:: Ducks from Slamhammers and Rolls Reflex Saves vs. Flames ::
# 79: The no life fanatic
The guy who has absolutely no life and cares WAY to much about the game. As in spending hours and hours reading the same material that he has already read a thousand times instead of finishing the essay due tomarrow, wich your final grade depended on. Or actually believing that the game was real (I swar that I'm not making this up).
I have met in my time a couple of these people. Freakin weirdos!
# 83: The pervert
One of the worst. DM: (The same one) Starswars, I was a female Togorian (Cat thingie) becuase males usually stayed on the home planet. Bad Idea. Suddenly there was a male Togorian in a strip bar waving at me. And Togoraisn were almost never seen off of their planet. Etc
D&D: Female characters who don't like clothes, are vividly described, I'm not going on.
Player: I get drunk
DM: Ok, you get drunk
Player: Are there any girls there?
DM: Yes, its a TAVERN
Player:
and so on and so on
I have met a couple of these too... it is quite childish and pathetic...
"I move back 3 squares from the fighter and begin casting a Fireball spell..."
"Um...Well..."
"What is it?"
"It's nothing, really..."
"No really, speak up! Now we have to know..."
"Well, if you check page 142 of the PHB..."
(After 10 minutes of Rules-checking)
"...Sorry."
Rinse and repeat in 5 minutes or less.
The Game-Jacker - the guy who thinks nothing of something completely off the wall, knowing full well the DM could not possibly be prepared for them, and leaving everyone else to start flipping through their character sheets in boredom.
"So I completely hijacked the game by running for the hills to avenge the death of my childhood pet kitten Jenkins whom I cared nothing about the entire game, without consulting my party members who remain sleeping at the inn we were staying in. They COULD abandon me to my lonely fate if I weren't carrying the (insert campaign purpose here, ex: Hand of Vecna) in my belt pouch. IT'S WHAT MY CHARACTER WOULD DO!"
Is almost always male. Will only make characters of the opposite sex, with which they play out there mentally wrong [adult contact involving pain] fantasies. Often have printed-out hentai characters in the portrait slot of their character sheets.
Example:
DM: "Okay, you've tied up the kobold. It's ranting on in Draconic. What do you do?"
Perv: "I pull off my belt (character wearing robe) and spank it whilst I [scene saved for mental health]."
Everyone but Perv: Creeped out to the point of soaking their brains in acid.
The Apologetic Rules-Lawyer
"I move back 3 squares from the fighter and begin casting a Fireball spell..."
"Um...Well..."
"What is it?"
"It's nothing, really..."
"No really, speak up! Now we have to know..."
"Well, if you check page 142 of the PHB..."
(After 10 minutes of Rules-checking)
"...Sorry."
Hey its not his fault :P (I think Im kind of like this)
Hey its not his fault :P (I think Im kind of like this)
Yes it is! You should be ASHAMED of yoursef!!!
Well, not really, as there are far worse players that come to mind...This is just one of the few that haven't been mentioned yet. :D
This is the cretin who comes to the table with everything they need on their laptop or PALM device. Every book, every sheet, every die roll is done in cyberspace. Is usually destracted with arguing in some chatroom that captain kirk could kick captain picard's ass, downloading another sourcebook, chatting with their Significant Other, or playing Doom 3.
#70 It is EEEEVIL!!
The guy who got ahold of a copy of the Book of Vile Darkness and proceeds to build a character around every skill, feat, spell, and doodad in the damned thing. (pun intended) Dreams of making a character 'more evil than the bad guys in the module'.
#71 X-rated
This is the person who got ahold of the "Book of Erotic Fantasy" and has turned the game into something that deserves an NC-17 rating. 'Nuff said.
# 72 Everything Burns.
A pyro at heart. Their character is never without at least a dozen bottles of Alchemists fire. Their wizard belives in the motto "Plan B is twice as many Fireballs as Plan A". Never mind the fact that the party is up to their pauldrons in some flamable substance, they just gotta toss around some fireworks.
A variant on the Rules Lawyer, this player never directly argues the DM's calls. However every ruling the DM makes provokes commentary about how the player would do it differently in their campaign. This player subtly insinuates that every ruling the DM makes is wrong, and can't understand why the DM finds this obnoxious and irritating. This play never runs their own campaign.
#74 Master of Neverwinter Nights
This player is new to tabletop gaming, but an absolutle pro at fantasy role-playing video games. Consequently, the player has a poor understanding of the rules - he might expect AoE attacks to ignore allies for example - and almost no understanding of role-playing or gaming ettiquette. Tends to be unable to grasp concepts like alignment and metagaming. Tends to display behaviors of other problem players such as Munchkinism, Me-Tooism, etc.
#75 The People Pleaser
This is actually a type of DM. This DM is obsessed with making everyone happy, but can't seem to remember that he has more than one player at a time. This becomes especially problematic if the group includes a bully, backseat DM, rules lawyer, or other sort of player who insist on getting things his or her way. The People Pleaser will cede to the problem players every whim - whether it be an obnoxious ruling, a munchkin build, a completely broken OGL feat/PrC/magic item, etc., which either disturbs the other players or causes their inner problem player to emerge.
Is usually destracted with arguing in some chatroom that captain kirk could kick captain picard's ass, downloading another sourcebook, chatting with their Significant Other, or playing Doom 3.
Get a mask that looks as ugly as possible. The next time he's playing Doom 3, jump in his sight with the mask on. That will teach him.
The Hissy Fitter - Refuses to take risks in combat for fear of getting hit, or ... oh, my ... dying. Throws a hissy fit if slain. Even at age 40 +. It is just a game, folks.
#845
The Slow Improver. This guy COULD be a great roleplayer, he IS making improvements, but it's going so painfully slowly, it's like wading through thick mud. Whenever you 'cure' him of one problem, he gets another!
Sure, he just got past template-itis, but now he's a complete me-tooer. And when he gets over that, he will be all over the BoVD and CE characters. Basically, he'll go over every.single.one of these bad player types..but you KNOW that sooner or later, he'll end up as a good player. the question is, will your sanity last until then?
#42 Stupid names player. Need I say more? You get Bob the Barbarian, Conan the Librarian, Jebediah Jeremiah Brown... etc
i name my characters normal names and ask the dm to do so as well otherwise i'll never be able to remember the names of npcs, or be able to pronounce the names. that is the only thing i don't like about dnd people feel the need to have names like hsdtybnfdh then complain when people can't say it, or remember them.
i name my characters normal names and ask the dm to do so as well otherwise i'll never be able to remember the names of npcs, or be able to pronounce the names. that is the only thing i don't like about dnd people feel the need to have names like hsdtybnfdh.
I wholeheartedly concur. Especially if they're human. People are absolutely stupid with their naming conventions.
The Powerleveller.
Loooves to level up. At least once per evening, else it'd all be for nothing.
When's the next attack? Do I get xp for this? Can we get some tougher enemies for more xp? I want my next level! I get so many cool abilities at my next level! Do I get extra xp if I tie my arms behind my back?
DM's of this variety often haven things like "The gods are pleased with your actions, and grant you greater power. Gain 3 levels."
this is almost me, but i won't expect the level if i have to get more than a thousand xp, i'll just hope for it. :D
#?: The retard
This is not very PC (Politically Correct) but here goes- the guy who talks at a rate of 1 word per second, can't seem to make a halfway decent joke, and takes forever to make a decision. Even if it's attack/not attack, he can't make up his mind.
#?: The ****head
Likes to make jokes at other peoples' expense, but gets butt hurt when you return the favor, and may even start yelling, but everybody loves him for some reason.
#? The perv
Constantly making sexual innuendo for ****s and giggles.
- a paladin that does less in combat than the mage.
#? ......
This guy reads his Char sheet over and over during his turn, waiting for 5 min reading and reading his sheet for an option, against orcs, at 7th level, as a fighter. After 5 min he says " I swing at the orc".
#? "my guys better"
Constantly finds the "best way" to crack a char. Then gives a huge elaborate reasoning he can kill your char. Gets smacked in combat alot and is consistantly the weak link in the party.
#? " Chaotic stupid"
Runs all char the exact same way. Be it a LE monk of Shar to a LG paladin of Illmater. Makes crazy nutballs all the time. Tries to make wizards tank and makes the most worthless fighters.
#? I'm not sure what you call this type. We have a cow in our game who is playing a sorcerer/fighter. He always runs up to enemies and hits them with a spoon or a magic ashtray. Or he casts Flare or Glitterdust on them. When we tell him that Flare doesn't do very much to trolls or dragons, he Flares us! And he collects all of his equipment on a sled and makes the paladin carry the sled, threatening that the paladin will lose his paladin powers if he doesn't do it! And he only casts Charm Person on people in town so he can get them to give him cookies!
LOL! That's demented!
We play at his house. So he thinks he's the boss
ex1
P1: so what adventure are we doing?
DM You're going to go clear out the remains of a destroyed evil fortress.
P2:All Right!
Secret DM: no we're gonna do my adventure for 1st level charcters
DM: But your level 5
Secret DM: I'll throw you out!
arguments ensues
ex2
P1: i'm gonna build a fortress
Secret DM: No you can't because your charcater, unlike mine, doesn't have noble heritage.
P1: The DM doesn't say that
Secret DM: I do
We fixed this by switching to an online campaign.
crazy character guy
This is the guy who makes 1 day old CE Azer sorcers who specialize in shrinking down and jumping on the enemy's head because he thinks it wwill set them on fire. He also thinks that his heat attack means anybody touching him will be burned
s/he weres black all the time. His/her characters kill small children. Cats hiss at his/her approch. Attempts to invent words and grammar for Abyssal and Infernal.
Wizard wannabe:
Whenever somebody makes a ruling he doesn't agree with, he makes gesture and speaks gibberish. Expects people to writhe in pain when he does that.
My mother: Makes a paladin of St. Cuthbert because it was the closest thing to Christianity. Sees a goblin. Runs screaming.......
This guy does some crazy stuff. Lvl 17 Half-Orc, Brb/EoGruumsh, there's a party of a little under 20 of us and we came across an Illithid, a really nasty one, we're talkin so ba-dass that you could smell the power comming off this guy, he was just nasty, and he had two not so bad buddies with him, but they were still too much for us. And the Mind Flayer stands there taunting us, in the middle of our path, so the barbarian decides to (after being given the idea) charge the main Illithid, and attack.. The creature shruggs off his attack and walks past him to take out the rest.
Later, in the same campaign, we're faced the a great Wyrm flying at us (I think it was a black dragon.. don't quite recall), the Brb had celestial armor on, so he decides to fly into the dragons mouth (easier AC he figures), unfortunately the dragon hits a wall of force, and is sent spinning. So the Brb decides to fly after it and, basically, find out if it was a male or female (trying to deal some extra damage).
Different capaign, a lvl 1, it was a Brb, a Rog and a Mnk. We came across a battlefield littered nearly fifty bodies. The Rog calls for a search of the bodies, and the rest join in. We find 50g, and the Rog claims 20 on the grounds that he initiated the search. The Mnk not paying attention, the Brb claims 20 as well. Finally realizing he's only getting 10g, instead of 15, the Mnk starts to complain. The Brb says that he's already called it, and says that if the Mnk wants it bad enough he'll fight him for it. So the two begin at 70ft apart, and the Mnk closes first, missing. The Brb takes one swing and renders the Mnk unconcious (as it should be). He laughed, and throws 5g on the body saying "here, I just wanted to see what you'd say if I took 20."
.........................................................
#.... +1 The Long-Winded
This guy doesn't know when to shut up. Especially when posting.
"My character is insane, I can do anything"
AKA Insane-O the Magnificent, this person is never happy unless he plays a seriously deranged character, without necessarily specifying how that insanity manifests itself. If the system allows for taking mental disadvantages/flaws, he will have all of them, and roleplay them in turn. If not, he will simply declare that his character is "insane". At every opportune moment (read: every time the GM asks him what his character does), he will do bunches of moronic, senseless, attention-hunting stuff because he believes it to be funny, and justifies everything with "my character is insane, it is what he would do".
For instance, the party has some down-time in the fortress they own and is asked what they do for the next day:
Player 1: "I'll take an inventory of the library and look for specific books on [insert theme]"
Player 2: "I'll go over our equipment and mend dents in the armor, sharpen swords, etc."
Player 3: "I think I'll head down to the local village and chat with the locals, maybe we can learn something useful"
Insane-O: "Well, I am insane, so I'll pee in our well, travel around and scare local peasants with my mind-affecting powers and try to torch our keep. Because I'm insane, they do things like that".
If I had heard the player say "Well, he IS insane..." one more time, I think I would have strangled him.
It was not made better when our GM at the time thought Insane-O was hilarious and kept increasing his power level until he was practically given the Big Red Button that said "Destroy World"...
nuff said...
This has probably been listed several times, or at least parts of him, but still:
"My character is insane, I can do anything"
AKA Insane-O the Magnificent, this person is never happy unless he plays a seriously deranged character, without necessarily specifying how that insanity manifests itself. If the system allows for taking mental disadvantages/flaws, he will have all of them, and roleplay them in turn. If not, he will simply declare that his character is "insane". At every opportune moment (read: every time the GM asks him what his character does), he will do bunches of moronic, senseless, attention-hunting stuff because he believes it to be funny, and justifies everything with "my character is insane, it is what he would do".
For instance, the party has some down-time in the fortress they own and is asked what they do for the next day:
Player 1: "I'll take an inventory of the library and look for specific books on [insert theme]"
Player 2: "I'll go over our equipment and mend dents in the armor, sharpen swords, etc."
Player 3: "I think I'll head down to the local village and chat with the locals, maybe we can learn something useful"
Insane-O: "Well, I am insane, so I'll pee in our well, travel around and scare local peasants with my mind-affecting powers and try to torch our keep. Because I'm insane, they do things like that".
If I had heard the player say "Well, he IS insane..." one more time, I think I would have strangled him.
It was not made better when our GM at the time thought Insane-O was hilarious and kept increasing his power level until he was practically given the Big Red Button that said "Destroy World"...
Guilty...but I generally try to stick with a theme to my characters insanitys...
I played a GURPS (point based character generation) psychic on 100 pt buy, and 100+ points of mental defects.
This one generally have more than 75% of all bad player trait...but he is the one to whom we owe: the player transport, the gaming room, the snack of the game
and generally an urge to hang him with a +42 vorpal rope of entangling
So that was my first post ever on the WotC forum!
you are all asking fro trouble from disgruntled players...
nuff said...
I'm asking for common sense and maybe some pie. I like pie.
This guy thinks that its a kind of contest between the DM and the players and uses this reasoning to often alter minute things to his character. Things include paladin casting with a wis score of 10. Putting in too many skill points, miscalculating the damage on his attacks. And when it gets pointed out he says "Sorry but its not so bad because it helped the group."
The "James Bond"
Tries to do everything as cool as possible. Has seen way too many films and plays way to much Neverwinter Nights.
JB: "I throw my grappling hook around a beam in the cealing and swing myself through the window, making a somersault before I hit the ground"
Regular Player: "I walk out the door"
Derrhyn
Even if he doesn't know you he'll insist on telling you all these amazing (to him) stories about what his character has done. He goes into excruciating detail of the events, even what the dice rolls were, of some random dull thing with almost maniacal enthusiasm.
Quite often two #1002's will meet, and it humorous when they do. One will politely wait (and completely ignore) the other one until the precise nanosecond that their story is finished, then will immediately jump in with their own unbelievably exciting (to them) story about his own character. This cycle tends to go on for a while, much to the approval of everyone else in the room who get a reprieve from hearing the same stupid story for a millionth time.
1004: the player that, though willing to show up, only does so to announce that he has spontaneously decided to go get drunk instead
I think this one should be self explanatory. Always passed out on weed.
Has essentially retired from gaming, unless its done during the day and the session ends at 11. Will sometimes play when its nothing but re-runs, but when a new episode of his/her favorite anime is premering, forget it.
Comes to the game, plops down on the couch, and whips out his PSP or Game Boy DS, and starts playing. Has to be asked three or four time to roll his dice during combat, and his roleplay consists of: "uhhhh...hold on a sec, I almost caught this bass!"
Is an up and coming rules lawyer but makes mistake in vary degrees he can go days with our making mistakes but in one session be wrong 5 times, then proceeds to hang self in shame...
The super-religious guy with Asperger's who HAS to play a paladin, and spouts off a 10 minute long string of overly righteous hyperbole every time he opens his mouth unless you tell him to shut up. He spends half the game walking in tight circles next to the table.
This guy doesn't know if you're playing in the realms, eberron, greyhawk, or a homebrew world. He'll start spouting a background for his character that he worships mystra when playing in eberron, or claim that his entire family was killed in the last was while playing in Greyhawk.
You know this guy, you hate him. And you want to beat the life out of him everytime he does this.
More Tea, Vicar?
For reasons known only to himself, this player responds to all in-game social situations in such a way that, if everyone reacted to his daft antics IN CHARACTER, the adventure would become impossible and/or the party would be killed. Relies on the fact that nobody other than him wants the campaign to end prematurely - enjoys watching the realism shattered in order to keep things running smoothly.
Ensures his place as party spokesman by putting his best ability scores into the social stats, maxing out on Bluff, Diplomacy and Sense Motive, and speaking as many languages as the DM will permit. Then proceeds to alienate every potential ally, upset every person of importance, and work against all attempts on the part of the DM to impart information and of the party to progress the plot. (Evil Minion is about to give vital information to the party on his deathbed? I cast Silence on him - I don't want to hear his lies!)
Reacts to the frustration of the DM and the other players with a look of bewildered hurt, leaving all with a vague sense of guilt because he's clearly trying his best. Strangely however, should the interaction threaten negative consequences that will affect only his character or his sub-plot, he miraculously says and does all the right things.
Apparently can't understand why the first thing that happens in any important dialogue scene is that his character is bound and gagged, Silenced, punched in the mouth and/or forcibly removed from the room - often by his own party.
1009. Me playing a CE evil character. It's not that I play CE much or am stupid at playing it, it's just my insane schemes usually work. Like the time I threw a torch at the mayors mouth and ended up lighting the entire town on fire, (which was my plan all along.)
My character hates 'X' and will kill anyone who does it.
And X is always something that happens all the time like being touched. Of course he carries out his threat the second someone touches him, slaying someone in the marketplace where he refuses to be taken into custody because the constable touched him, so he attacks the constable and is killed. 1010 then can't understand why you don't want him to make a character who hates being yelled at and will kill anyone who does.
# 1011: Mr. Enthusiasm
D&D is so exciting to him that absolutely every statement he makes during a D&D session is shouted, drowning out the DM and anyone else that dares make conversation during any of his spontaneous thought processes. He smiles and laughs at himself with every funny (to him only) blaring syllable, and as you wipe his spittle of your face a tiny part of your conscience wonders if you should laugh with him, so as not to hurt his feelings by revealing how unfunny you know he really is.
#1011 is often also #1002, the guy who insists on telling you about every act that his characters have ever made.
#1012- The guy who picks the body of EVERY single person that dies, good or bad, NPC, or PC, often before we even have time to mourn over the death of an ally
#1013- the me first! guy
However, have any of you encountered the "Umm... Do you guys think it is a good idea that I take a leak now? How about sharpening my blades? Cut my hair? Do you think it would be a good idea to stick my knife into the monster that is currently eating the other team member? What do you want me to do?" guy? I am not talking things of consequence here. This is the guy that will ask you if he can go to bed at night in the middle of a friendly castle that is guarded like Fort Knox.
Then there is the "Can I have this? Can I have that? Ooo! +10 vorpal, flaming, shocking, longsword of slay anything! Can I have one? Please, please, please, please, please?" person. This is the person that will ask for a Wild dragonscale fullplate at level 1, a Deck of Many Things as his starting equipment, etc. Any answer of "No!" will only encourage him to ask for something else. At times it seems he is just out to get the DM's goat, but in reality, he has just discovered the SRD...
And lastly, the crazy thucker (a cross between a thick person, and a frakking moron) that want to put armour on his snake animal companion. I am talking full platemail on a blooming snake here. How the poor thing is going to move is way beyond anything I can imagine, given the mechanics of serpentine movement. This is the person that wants to put all sorts of inappropriate things on his pet/familiar/whatever so that it will survive better in a fight because he will send a fly to fight a dragon given half the chance and then get depressed and mopey when it gets swatted.
Enjoy, you guys. I know I did... :D
#25 The Role-Playing Fanatic.
We all know that roleplaying is important, but this guy insists on having lengthy converations with everyone in town. Your party can't go to a tavern without him having extensive conversations with the barmaid and the waiter and the bartender and the guy in the corner. It would be fine if he said "I go into the tavern and chat up the clientele and discuss recent events." Nope, he has to do it in character, for everyone, no matter how minor. You will have to put off your quest to find the Demon Stone of Doom, because RPF is wasting so much time. He doesn't want to play Dungeons and Dragons, he wants to play Dialogues and Digressions.
I wish... Sometimes. If they do it to often I often tell them in summary what their reply was
The meta-mourner: Won't accept "no" for an answer. Especially common at chargen, and for some reason with fans monstrous races and psionics.
DM: No psionics
Meta-mourner: k...*10 minutes pass* can I play a psion?
DM: No
Meta-mourner: Psionic warrior?
DM: No psionics
Meta-mourner: That sucks...*15 minutes later* can I play a wilder? A psion?
DM: *develops nervous twitch*
The mourner: Won't move on to a new character when his old one dies. Constantly whines about how the death was unfair and how the char was his favorite and how the char should be brought back.
Oh great Caesar's ghost, there's a girl in my saturday group that WOULD NOT shut up about her character dying when we effectively got TPKed by a bad shot into a magical weapons room that went critical. Everyone died, but we were made aware that there would be a strong chance that anyone who died would be able to come back, provided another group of our characters solved a puzzle.
Nevertheless, she took it upon herself to pout and hissyfit the rest of the night, while just sitting on her laptop. Totally killed the mood for everyone that night. Sad thing is, even though the GM made it amply clear that characters with high amounts of attachment would get saved first, she hasn't been back since that night.
1007: Handheld Gamer
Comes to the game, plops down on the couch, and whips out his PSP or Game Boy DS, and starts playing. Has to be asked three or four time to roll his dice during combat, and his roleplay consists of: "uhhhh...hold on a sec, I almost caught this bass!"
A similar guy we are dealing with is...
The Screen King
This guy brings his laptop to the game and gets disracted by it constantly. He says he needs it for its dice-rolling programs, even though there are enough dice on the tale to crush an average ogre. When the DM and players get so sick of yelling, "put down the laptop!" that they ban it from the table, he brings his palm pilot. Then his Ipod. When other players are making some changes to their character sheets, he runs off to play WoW.
Mister Stabby
This gamer does not understand the concept of "put down the knife." He doesn't stab anyone with it; he just has to have the knife. The knife distracts him, making us stop the game so we can convince him to put down the knife.
i name my characters normal names and ask the dm to do so as well otherwise i'll never be able to remember the names of npcs, or be able to pronounce the names. that is the only thing i don't like about dnd people feel the need to have names like hsdtybnfdh then complain when people can't say it, or remember them.
That's why my character's name is Kniv. Just Kniv. (Niv) Easy to remember, sounds cool. I also joke that her last name is "Ed." Heh. I'm so clever.
---------------------------
#...?
More of a combination of bad player types into one REALLY bad player than a specific type. Does really stupid things (i.e. "I jump out the window!" ...in the middle of combat; or "I charge the Colossal Monstrous Centipede!" ...at level four,) plays Chaotic-stupid, and only plays Dwarf Fighters, the only variation feat-character-anything wise is their name and choice weapon (First Greataxe, then Greatsword, then Spiked Chain... this is his third, and last, I might add, character.)
That was actualy more of a rant about an actual player than a type of bad player. Sorry. :P
1010 or something like that The Boss a player is the dms boss and the DM is a suck up, DM you are surrounded by orcs
Player boss I drop my sword and punch 2 orcs with my spiked gauntlets
DM roll
PB 12 and 9
DM amazing you do it!!!!!!!Roll Damage
PB 4 and 5
DM you kill them both you're the best player ever.
1011 I don't have a classification but the guy who plays an evil character and coup de graces every unconcious player and gets depressed when he gets killed by the party he also drinks 2 40's and tries to borrow your car
you're usualy missing something when he leaves
1012 the well if I'm always seeing the rogue doing it I should be able to do it too
1013 the well if my bow attack doesn't work against skeletons I do nothing guy
1014 the I'm retardedly obsessed with dancing lights player
#...?
More of a combination of bad player types into one REALLY bad player than a specific type. Does really stupid things (i.e. "I jump out the window!" ...in the middle of combat; or "I charge the Colossal Monstrous Centipede!" ...at level four,) plays Chaotic-stupid, and only plays Dwarf Fighters, the only variation feat-character-anything wise is their name and choice weapon (First Greataxe, then Greatsword, then Spiked Chain... this is his third, and last, I might add, character.)
Oh yeah, we've got a guy like that in our D&D meetup.
Never roleplays, only plays fighters or similar with greatswords and cleave/great cleave.
He even called all his fighters Regnar (almost Redgar straight out of the PHB).
It's really annoying honestly, because I have to, as a DM, try to keep his character occupied with his ridiculous dmg and to-hit, and at the same time provide an effective challenge that isn't lethal to everyone else.
Get a mask that looks as ugly as possible. The next time he's playing Doom 3, jump in his sight with the mask on. That will teach him.
ROFLMAO!
:heehee I've played DOOM 3 all the way through before, so I know exactly what kind of effect this would have on a player. Man, that game was creepy.
A decent player when she's playing, but half the time she's doing other stuff and counts on others to do her rolls for her. Wish people would just let her character die when she does that.
1013 the well if my bow attack doesn't work against skeletons I do nothing guy
Would you prefer he try to box the skeletons? :P
[Number]: The guy who claims magic items before you even get a chance to identify them.
A combination of #8 and #149, this is a DM who fudges rolls to keep the NPC alive so that his DMPC can go on a torturing spree.
Yes, I have seen one of these.
#193 - The Unique
or play races that just don't exist in the setting, such as asking for Warforged in a homebrew world.
I have a question for you. WHY ARE YO BUGGING MY SESSIONS!?
seriously, one of my players keeps bugging me about that! he wants to be a warlock and shoot eldritch blasts from a cannon that he has instead of an arm, a la megaman.
The Vandal. This is the kind of person who is likely to physically damage the venue you are playing at. These types commonly exhibit a lot of other flaws. You can normally guess who these people are by what conditions they live in: Vandals tend to either live at home, live in cramped and/or messy conditions, or both. You have to be careful with this type though, since this type can be easily misdiagnosed. Vandal behavior is typically an expression of discontent at life, and can end suddenly with personal changes.
Treat by holding games in public places. Vandals commonly attack the environment and not other players, since their attitude isn't about hostility but general childishness.
#Whatever + 1
The Interrupter. This player can NOT SHUT UP. They will talk about anything except the game, and actually work to attempt to break any kind of immersion. This is also common spectator behavior.
Treat by giving that player the silent treatment, or directly by after-game confrontation. If the problem persists, have an ingame confrontation. Interrupters are typically either sensitive enough to respect your feelings, or brazen enough for you to feel no guilt about telling them to go away.
#Whatever + 2
The *BLEEP*er. This player, usually between the ages of 16-30, can NOT stop talking about sex. Every possible comment is evaluated for dirty joke potential, and blurted out as soon as one is detected. This subspecies of the interrupter is actually worse, since at least Interrupters can occasionally be interesting to listen to. This is not merely childing giggling either, but a genuine obsession.
There is no treatment, but this condition is rarely permanent. Also, I had some success by removing soda and other caffeine from the game.
#Whatever + 3
The Questing Pothead. This is a bizarre Pothead subspecies found only in gaming stores and public venues. This creature loves looking for pickup or public groups in game stores, and sitting in during the session. Sometime during the session, probably within the first thirty minutes, he will seize on a break in the conversation and manage to steer a conversation towards drugs. While doing so, he will poll the reactions of people around the table, attempting to sniff out a rooted Pothead. If he can't find one, he will excuse himself from the table.
Treat by making the store owner aware of the conversation. A general policy of not allowing people to join a game in progress also works, if the store owner agrees to the condition.
#Whatever + 4
The Couple. Some people form personal relationships, and then bring their signifigant other to the table. If this relationship turns volatile, your group has a real chance of getting split apart. As this split begins, the couple will use their time at the table to fight, shout, and otherwise carry on their domestic problems.
It's interesting to note that this condition can exist even if one member of the couple does not sit at the table. Having phones or cellphones means that the disturbance can continue even if someone isn't even in the room. Someone at that stage is usually far more dangerous and disruptive, since that typically indicates that the Couple has a reason to fight, rather then just looking for one.
Treatment for this condition varies radically. It is sorely tempting to do nothing, since these fights can, at times, be extremely entertaining. But these situations have a real chance of turning into a Domestic Disturbance. Changing the venue can provide some help.
#Whatever + 5
Forbidden Couple (aka Triangle). This 'fun' variant is what happens when a third person, usually a player or DM of an opposite gender as one of the Couple in the game, joins the Couple in some adulterous fun.
This condition is unusually hazardous, because players and DMs will attempt to hide it. To them, the game exists as a cover. Any friendship expressed is a farce, at best.
Treatment for this condition is amputation. At this stage, the best thing you can possibly do is leave, immediately. The possibility of a Domestic Disturbance is _extremely_ high, and at best you will be considered a clueless idiot, or as a crutch for some extremely volatile personalities.
X. The Delusional - That one guy who thinks he's king of the hill, **** of the walk, and all those other cliches. In his mind, he's a double edged sword, all the girls love him, and all the guys want to be him. Of course, in reality, he's the total opposite, though he'll never admit it
Fighter/Warrior type character who spaces out except in combat, where he uses horrible fighting tactics except his immune character never dies
20X7: The really bad RP Lugnut:
The Paladin/Monk/Ranger character who has a strict code he's supposed to be upholding, but doesn't really pay attention to it, instead relying on DM or party members to just make sure he never does that kind of stuff anyway. Particularly annoying if he made that class *just* for the super combat bonuses
20X8: The Paladin:
All players who play Paladins are annoying. They're either noobs, obsessive about the righteousness thing, or powergamers. Never let any other player or PC have any fun...
I think the Paladin class is dumb and it should only be an NPC class..
Please prove me wrong...
20X8: The Paladin:
All players who play Paladins are annoying. They're either noobs, obsessive about the righteousness thing, or powergamers. Never let any other player or PC have any fun...
I think the Paladin class is dumb and it should only be an NPC class..
Please prove me wrong...
I played a paladin. I think I played him well. My DM said I played him well. No one complained.
And this was first edition where the paladin class was much more strict.
Edit: Okay, let me say this, a paladin, PLAYED CORRECTLY, is the type of character other characters WANT to group with. A paladin played correctly puts himself in harms way to save his friends. He willingly chips in gold and gives up part of his reward if he feels a player is in need. When the situation comes where one may have to put themselves into harms way, like an alley that may be trapped, the paladin is willing to be the first to go. (If there is no rogue and no one has any special means of disarming)
A paladin, played correctly, is what a rogue would consider a sap. He is willing to sacrifice for his friends. He does not order them around necessarily, he does not feel he has to lead all the time, and he most certainly is not a bully.
When the party is running, the paladin is the one willingly sacrificing himself to slow down the rampaging baddies so the rest of the party may escape.
Or in my paladins case, stand, shield out, between stampeding wildebeasts and the fragile gnome mage, not knowing what damage he may take, but trying to stop as much as he can from reaching his friend.
The Lurker
Refuses to join with the PCs, instead watching them distrustfully from a distance. Shadows them and joins in on fights only when he can come in to "save the day". Gets mad when the party teleports away without him because they forgot he was technically part of the party.
This is the player who LOVES to create characters, I mean he's a little TOO excited about making characters. This player isn't a bad player, he's just annoying. He also has no problem telling you all about everyone of them in detail. He doesn't ever seem to tire of creating characters. Sometimes he will create them during the sessions. Usually this type is in combination with being a noob. The player then tries to be a DM after playing 3 sessions because he thinks he can create a good world/ campaign/ adventure/ dungeon.
x+1.) The Missionary
This is the player who tells EVERYONE he knows about D&D and tries to make them join. He's not necessarily bad, it just gets to the point where too many people are joining and it's this guy's fault.
Vandals tend to either live at home, live in cramped and/or messy conditions, or both.
As if they could live somewhere else?
Me.
I played a paladin. I think I played him well. My DM said I played him well. No one complained.
And this was first edition where the paladin class was much more strict.
Edit: Okay, let me say this, a paladin, PLAYED CORRECTLY, is the type of character other characters WANT to group with. A paladin played correctly puts himself in harms way to save his friends. He willingly chips in gold and gives up part of his reward if he feels a player is in need. When the situation comes where one may have to put themselves into harms way, like an alley that may be trapped, the paladin is willing to be the first to go. (If there is no rogue and no one has any special means of disarming)
A paladin, played correctly, is what a rogue would consider a sap. He is willing to sacrifice for his friends. He does not order them around necessarily, he does not feel he has to lead all the time, and he most certainly is not a bully.
When the party is running, the paladin is the one willingly sacrificing himself to slow down the rampaging baddies so the rest of the party may escape.
Or in my paladins case, stand, shield out, between stampeding wildebeasts and the fragile gnome mage, not knowing what damage he may take, but trying to stop as much as he can from reaching his friend.
in my experience, most of the time you get a jerk playing a paladin (4 times out of 5). One of those times they won't bother with the code and just play it like a fighter with spells. In the other cases... Let me tell a story.
The pcs are about to leave a building...
DM:What is you marching order?
Paladin: The rogue should go first.
Rogue:Why? All I can do is dodge, if it is something that requires toughness and stuff I'm screwed.
Druid:How about you go first paladin, you have high hp and armor
Paladin: But if i get killed i cant keep going.
General bickering ensues and eventually the druid gets tired with the arguing and agrees to go first.
He gets severely wounded, and the palading has the arrogency to say, see the rogue should have gone first. I point out that the save was something rogues suck at, And now the party no longer has a functioning healer. If the paladin had gone first he could be healed and all would be well.
FOr the rest see my quote.
The "I can do anything"
The "I can do anything" is a player doesn't play D&D. The "I can do anything" 'plays' D&D to imagine things to amuse him, and only him. He doesn't play the game, rather he uses D&D as an outlet to do things that he has cooking up in his head.
First and foremost, he doesn't understand that there are rules that represent factors for his character (such as AC to do damage, BAB for to hit prowess, saves to protect against bad things, sneak attack for attacking a vital part, critical hits for hitting the best spot possible, feats for showing exceptional ability, etc). He assumes that his character can do absolutely everything, and flawlessly too, while everyone else is bound by their character sheet. He can be one of or a combination of all of the following 4 people:
- The chaotic stupid
I'm sure you know this one. The chaotic stupid burns churches because he can, will urinate on their ashes, eat babies, torture people, abduct people, steal things, threaten people, and cause problems all the time. The chaotic stupid doesn't have a personality - he just does stupid things. The chaotic stupid may also be chaotic evil. When his deeds catch up to him, he insists it's unfair, and that he should get away with slaughtering children. - The distracted
The distracted can be quite annoying. He will take up several minutes, upto an hour of time doing something that has absolutely no reference to character growth, story at hand, or any relevance at all. He will pick up a moldy rug and carry it back to town for no reason. When the party convinces him to get rid of it he decides to burn it. When he burns it, he then decides to face it so that the wind will blow the smoke into the town. The net result? Nothing accomplished other than the DMs and other player's headaches. - The called shotter
The called shotter has no concept of accuracy or combat rules. The called shotter thinks that by specifying a specific action he automatically does it without fail. If he claims that he is running ahead of a monster that is currently watching him, hides, jumps out and attacks him from behind, in the neck, in an artery, he can do it all and assumes that the following monster will just sit there letting him do his overelaborate plan without fail. When the character is noted that he can't do all that, nor that it would have no effect because he has no levels in rogue (thus getting no additional damage due to catching the opponent flat footed) the called shotter claims "that's stupid, that doesn't make sense, I should be able to target body parts." The called shotter doesn't understand that critical hits, special attack actions, and feats represent the character's ability to skillfully pull off those combat maneuvers. He thinks that enemies simply stand there and have no ability to defend themselves to his attacks. - The "I go first"
Has absolutely no concept of time. The "I go first" assumes that everything and everyone is will completely stop, when he decides to act. He insists that he can react to every situation. If he is hit, he will claim that he "blocks" the attack with his arm, sword or sheild. If he is hit with a breath weapon, he thinks that he can walk out of the way. He insists that he has more than 20 rounds of actions when others will sit there with their fingers up their butts. He assumes that if he says what he does before initiative is rolled, that it's an automatic success, and no one will be able to resist him. Also, the I go first, will be oblivious to the fact that everyone else is bound by time too, and the reason they did not full round attack after moving was because part of the turn was spent moving, yet he somehow miraculously is able to move and full round attack in the same round.
The jumping contestant
This player doesn't quite have a concept for his character, nor does he have any goals. When he notices he has a high jump modifier will go into a bar, and challenge everyone to a jumping contest, to make use of his skill in an impractical situation rather than using it in a situation that it would actually be helpful (like jumping across a 5ft gap). When he actually finds someone who would do this rediculous stunt, he is surprised by the fact that he loses to someone who wiggled his fingers and said something before he jumped.
The random Seductionist
This is an otherwise normal gamer. Then bam, out of one session with a female, he attempts to seduce someone. For no reason, no story, no reason, no personality, will just do it at a random time out of the blue.
The person with the "right" opinion
The player who thinks that his veiw of everything is correct. His ego is unsurpassed by even the most egotistical of deities; the word haughty is too tame to describe him. When in the presence of any conversation he voices his opinion as fact, without any real argument. His main source of defense for his opinions is his incredibly dense skull. He doesn't even have to be in your session, if he's a visitor who stops by while you're playing with your friends, he'll comment on how he's right.
The mechanical monkey
Charisma is worthless unless you're a sorcerer, bard, paladin or cleric. Str is worthless for a spell caster. This isn't even a good min/maxer, this person just picks things 100% on their mechanical value, and expects to be roll-playing through everything. He wants to play a monk, so he picks half-orc for his race because he gets "+2 str, and -2 int and -cha don't hurt a monk really." Like I said, he doesn't min/max well, but makes stupid concepts that could actually be quite good if he actually role-played them.
The Trost
A munchkin, powergamer, ruleslawyer, egomanic, powerhungry, want-to-be ruler of the multiverse and all around disruptive player. Named after the first disruptive powergamer I've ever had as a DM. This player insists that he can kill anything, and when an NPC or PC is more powerful than him, he immediately attacks and says "I hate NPCs more powerful than me." His brash and offensive additude combined with his stating of rules out of context is used to frustrate the DM to conceed anything to the Trost's Favor.
The level adjusted
While very close in relation to the exotic half race multitemplated multiclassed abomination, the level adjusted is enthralled by the concept of weird creatures with exceptional abilities. While he may or may not role-play it well, he insists on taking all the racial benefit at no level adjustment or racial hit dice. He whines that he can't have a fiendish half-dragon troll with no racial hitdice and +0, because that means he won't have many hitdice, and very low HP. Balance? He doesn't care about it. His response to it being told that it's rediculously imbalancing is "Aww, that's no fun."
The Anti-party
This person does something that would irrevocably cause the other party members to AT LEAST kick the PC out. If the player is immature and doesn't understand the results of the actions, this may cause some deus ex machina to fix... which can seriously remove immersion from the game. The anti-party never is a group player, and would avert his eyes if you ever showed him the quote from the PHBII that says "In short, you should be a team player even if your character isn't."
The "Shut up Mr. Helpful."
I'll keep my shut, I really will. I don't burst out what the rules say about the current situation if the DM is off and bog it down by ruleslawyering. But when the DM asks me about a certain ruling because I know the 3.5 rules well, and they are both new to it, I'll tell him the truth, whether or not it's in our favor. The "Shut up Mr. Helpful" would rather have things go his way through fluke of the DM than earn it by virtue of his character. I can understand if it's joking... but it's starting to get to the point that it's not.
The "Shut up Mr. Helpful."
I'll keep my shut, I really will. I don't burst out what the rules say about the current situation if the DM is off and bog it down by ruleslawyering. But when the DM asks me about a certain ruling because I know the 3.5 rules well, and they are both new to it, I'll tell him the truth, whether or not it's in our favor. The "Shut up Mr. Helpful" would rather have things go his way through fluke of the DM than earn it by virtue of his character. I can understand if it's joking... but it's starting to get to the point that it's not.
I think you need to clarify this one.
Is this one a guy that looks up the rules and corrects the DM?
Or is this a guy that DOESN'T correct the DM unless specifically asked and ignores DM mistakes, good or bad?
This guy will always play a thief, a fighter, a mage or a divine caster, regardless of party wants or needs.
Party has 2 druids and a Cleric. He'll bring a favored soul. Party has a Fighter, Barbarian, and a Paladin and is in desperate need of a divine caster or a mage? Screw that, he only plays full BAB melee machines. This can really hurt a group.
Reference Retard: This guy is always quoting something, to the point where you wonder if the guy ever thinks for himself. If it ain't Pulp Fiction its Monty Python, if it ain't that its a nod to the Beastie Boys, or a quote from a book. When cracking wise like this he thinks he's funnier than Pryor squared but really he's just a boor.
Archetype Addict:
This guy will always play a thief, a fighter, a mage or a divine caster, regardless of party wants or needs.
Party has 2 druids and a Cleric. He'll bring a favored soul. Party has a Fighter, Barbarian, and a Paladin and is in desperate need of a divine caster or a mage? Screw that, he only plays full BAB melee machines. This can really hurt a group.
That's actually pretty stupid. It's not fair to force a player a play something he doesn't enjoy so that the REST of the party can play something they DO enjoy.
I think you need to clarify this one.
Is this one a guy that looks up the rules and corrects the DM?
Or is this a guy that DOESN'T correct the DM unless specifically asked and ignores DM mistakes, good or bad?
Since there is a lot of similar language and pronouns, I have highlighted different people by color to help clarify who I'm refering to. Not only that, I think the situation is probably inherently confusing. There are three people:
- The highlighted person in red is the 101 worst player, "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" in the post above.
- The highlighted person in blue is the "Mr. Helpful" that he is saying shut up to.
- The person highlighted in green is the DM.
Mr Helpful, me, doesn't disrupt gameplay when the DM doesn't do something exactly by the rules. When the DM asks me specifically what the rules are for a certain action, I will tell him the truth, rather than force him to go looking through his PHB or DMG to find what the rule is.
I mean, if he's off, like when I'm weilding a reach weapon, and something leaves one of the threatened squares it gives me an AoO, I'll remind him (that's one of the main reasons to weild a reach weapon, but if for some reason, he wanted to rule against it, i'd let it slide and talk to him after the game about it). If I provoke of an AoO for drinking a potion, I'll tell him that I'm provoking an AoO even if he forgot. But when he takes the liberty to rule something in a certain way that's against the rules, I'll bite my tongue on it. (And I really do have to bite my tongue, because for the most part, I like the rules, I don't think things should be arbitrarily nerfed because of knee-jerk, non-well thoughtout reactions)
Yet, if an NPC casts a spell that has some status effect the DM isn't quite familiar with he ussually asks me "What happens when X happens?" I'll tell him honestly, whether it's beneficial to the party, or detrimental to the party. The "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" in the group says "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" whenever it's not in our favor. On occasion, the DM has been in the middle of looking up a rule (without asking me), and to speed things up, I just tell him, and this is when the "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" in my group really lets me have it.
He's really not all that bad, but would he really rather I lied? I'd feel so dirty if I did. It's like cheating to know that you survived because you lied or your DM didn't know how to do something. I'd rather have a fair session and die, than have my character live due to lying to the DM. Sometimes, I've told him the correct rules for a situation, and he decides it's too harsh (Mostly, because he didn't quite know what the ability was before he used it) and says "oh, you're fine." and I don't have a problem with that. I'd have a problem with telling him it did something differently than it does, and live due to deceiving him.
I don't think Archetype Addict is stupid. Consistently playing the same type of character is boring, keeps a player with a limited skill set, and hurts the group.
Obviously they don't find it boring.
Named after the greatest diviner in player history (not PC, PLAYER), the Gish usually takes the form of a creature that has the innate power to ALWAYS be were the treasure is found. He ALWAYS sees what other players see, and ALWAYS knows what you can do, because by some misterious power, he knows your spells per day (eats a lot of carrots, a HELL of a good eyesight).
In fact, he's always were the fireball ain't hitting, but always were the Mass Cure Light Wounds is.
The Gish
Named after the greatest diviner in player history (not PC, PLAYER), the Gish usually takes the form of a creature that has the innate power to ALWAYS be were the treasure is found. He ALWAYS sees what other players see, and ALWAYS knows what you can do, because by some misterious power, he knows your spells per day (eats a lot of carrots, a HELL of a good eyesight).
In fact, he's always were the fireball ain't hitting, but always were the Mass Cure Light Wounds is.
One of many reasons I prefer playing with the 135x130 square grid I made up.
One of many reasons I prefer playing with the 135x130 square grid I made up.
They were in a city, it was supposed to be a surprise attack. You use grids on cities?! Might as well do the same.
The Balance Addict (or as I call him, me)
Instead of playing something that I enjoy, I'll play something that I think the character needs. If the party needs a healer, I'll make a cleric. If the party has no one to detect and remove traps, I'll make a rogue.
It has gotten to the point where I'm told to make my character first.
The Sometimes-There Person
There are two versions of this player.
The first version is a player who will show up to a game, then not show up for about three to seven of the next sessions, then show up again, expecting to be of the same level as the rest of the party who have shown up every session.
The other version is someone who will randomly run off to find food, drinks, the bathroom, etc., and not come back for well over an hour.
Anybody who has ever played, construed to play, created the class, or even just thought about playing a " Papermaster "
Hey!
Read or Die was a good anime....
<,<
>,>
Seriously though. Yeah. In D&D, that's bad. in M&M, that's fully acceptable.
Show
Since there is a lot of similar language and pronouns, I have highlighted different people by color to help clarify who I'm refering to. Not only that, I think the situation is probably inherently confusing. There are three people:
- The highlighted person in red is the 101 worst player, "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" in the post above.
- The highlighted person in blue is the "Mr. Helpful" that he is saying shut up to.
- The person highlighted in green is the DM.
Mr Helpful, me, doesn't disrupt gameplay when the DM doesn't do something exactly by the rules. When the DM asks me specifically what the rules are for a certain action, I will tell him the truth, rather than force him to go looking through his PHB or DMG to find what the rule is.
I mean, if he's off, like when I'm weilding a reach weapon, and something leaves one of the threatened squares it gives me an AoO, I'll remind him (that's one of the main reasons to weild a reach weapon, but if for some reason, he wanted to rule against it, i'd let it slide and talk to him after the game about it). If I provoke of an AoO for drinking a potion, I'll tell him that I'm provoking an AoO even if he forgot. But when he takes the liberty to rule something in a certain way that's against the rules, I'll bite my tongue on it. (And I really do have to bite my tongue, because for the most part, I like the rules, I don't think things should be arbitrarily nerfed because of knee-jerk, non-well thoughtout reactions)
Yet, if an NPC casts a spell that has some status effect the DM isn't quite familiar with he ussually asks me "What happens when X happens?" I'll tell him honestly, whether it's beneficial to the party, or detrimental to the party. The "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" in the group says "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" whenever it's not in our favor. On occasion, the DM has been in the middle of looking up a rule (without asking me), and to speed things up, I just tell him, and this is when the "Shut up, Mr. Helpful" in my group really lets me have it.
He's really not all that bad, but would he really rather I lied? I'd feel so dirty if I did. It's like cheating to know that you survived because you lied or your DM didn't know how to do something. I'd rather have a fair session and die, than have my character live due to lying to the DM. Sometimes, I've told him the correct rules for a situation, and he decides it's too harsh (Mostly, because he didn't quite know what the ability was before he used it) and says "oh, you're fine." and I don't have a problem with that. I'd have a problem with telling him it did something differently than it does, and live due to deceiving him.
#50- I rolld up A but I play it like B
This player will play fighters like rogues and barbarians like libraians. Does not understand why they never fit into that character niche. They usually do so because they either don't understand the strengths/ weaknesses of a class or because they played a certain character concept some time ago and want to do so over and over again but don't want to seem like that.
Played with this one before, well, DMed, actually. These player types wouldn't be so bad if they didn't mess everything up for other people. This one was a fighter in armor putting cross-class ranks into Move Silently and joining the Bard when attempting to sneak around. The monsters never heard the Bard coming... but...
Just...
They were in a city, it was supposed to be a surprise attack. You use grids on cities?! Might as well do the same.
If PCs are together, I ask them to place on the grid where their characters are in relation to one another, and tell them how big the roads/walkways/whatever are, and anything else that is pertinent, just in case I feel like random encounter/surprise attacking them. If they are separated, it doesn't rightly matter as any attack is going for the loner.
The Mullet
Everything about his character is outdated, and he utterly refuses to update. He'll use material from 1984, play a character that was handed down from ancestor to ancestor, purposely buy outdated supplements, and play them with out making 3.5 conversions. When coming across a 3.5 rule, he will crack open his prehistoric relic of a PHB, and say "YOU MADE THAT RULE UP!"
The Fanboy
This son if a ...lich will ONLY play a CG drow ranger who dual weilds scimitars. And if you can somehow pry that character from his hands, he will make his next 50 characters elves, then his next 50 katana obsessors, and then his next 50 will have something to do with japanimation.
The Ladies Man
This guy will do his best to land in bed with any and all attractive female NPCs. His number one goal in a campaign is to get laid in the end, and baiting him with a nymph is the only way to get the slightest hint of attention and enthousiasm from him.
The not so lawful good paladin
This player kills everything that glows when using Detect Evil, in my opinion that ain't lawful good. And as explanation to this irational behaviour he says "He must die, he is evil". That just
:headexplo
If you were in my game you ain't gonna be LG anymore.
Allow me to introduce you to my friend, he's a Paladin of St. Cuthbert and a high ranking factorum of the Harmonium. That nonsence is actually IN CHARACTER which is the frightening thing.
Sword-tard: this guy mistakes his skills in boffering (a peace of PVC pipe covered in foam people play what is pretty much mêlée dodge ball with) for real sword (as in steal) skills likes to talk down to other players thinking that his sword skills will save him form a ruthless d4 throwing. Likes to use his 'skills' as away to avoid any problems with his character.
ST: I stab at the goblins shield then push him back and strike him as he falls back.
Me (as the DM): ok roll for attack
ST: why should it matter? I told you how I was attacking him. dont act like I dont know what I am talking about
Me:
ok thats nice, but you still have to roll to attack its the rulesST: what did I say about acting like I dont know what I am talking about?
Me: *sigh* I dont know what?
ST: I know what it means to use a sword how can a goblin stop me?
Me: *GEERR ANGERY NOISES!* NO YOU DONT! please go eat some razor blades I dont want to put up with you
ST: I stab at the goblins shield then push him back and strike him as he falls back.
Me (as the DM): ok roll for attack
ST: why should it matter? I told you how I was attacking him. dont act like I dont know what I am talking about
Me:
ST: what did I say about acting like I dont know what I am talking about?
Me: *sigh* I dont know what?
ST: I know what it means to use a sword how can a goblin stop me?
Me: *GEERR ANGERY NOISES!* NO YOU DONT! please go eat some razor blades I dont want to put up with you
Yeah, that's like my The "I can do anything," the called shotter, and the "I go first" from my post with a sword motiff.
"What does it matter? I declared him dead, he's dead. I declared that he's incapable of reacting to me too, so he doesn't know what to do, thus there's no way he possibly could be alive because i have super killing skills"
GAH!!! :headexplo
I also have another player that I beleive was described in one of the first 200 posts... a Dice stacker. Gah, she stacks everyone's dice when they aren't looking, gah keep your hands off our stuff! Don't you understand personal space and ownership? I mean, it's bad enough that you do it to your own stuff, but everyone elses?
I also have another player that I beleive was described in one of the first 200 posts... a Dice stacker. Gah, she stacks everyone's dice when they aren't looking, gah keep your hands off our stuff! Don't you understand personal space and ownership? I mean, it's bad enough that you do it to your own stuff, but everyone elses?
Because we all know that stacking dice makes them stop working.
#1051: [color=blue]The Goth[/color]
Thinks it would be Really Cool to have his/her character be suicidal and dress in black and wear all sorts of fetish gear and have bright green hair with pink stripes. Actually ends up being Really Retarded when 1051's character actually ends up killing herself (via criticaling on herself) mid-session while trying to be some sort of Wannabe Punk With A Lighter person.
God save D&D from EMO KIDS!!!
www.ytmnd.com - search emo
"HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!" *Shoot* "Thank you....i wanted to die...."
Because we all know that stacking dice makes them stop working.
No, because, then someone will most likely bump the table knocking them over, and then the dice fall on the floor, and go under furniture and get lost, or otherwise slow down the session because you have to find them, if they don't actually get lost. Stack your own damn dice, don't make me have to clean up your mess.
yeah, just make up more innane comments that have absolutely nothing to do with what I said. Or do you think you have the right to walk into other people's houses and start rearranging their things without their permission?No, because, then someone will most likely bump the table knocking them over, and then the dice fall on the floor, and go under furniture and get lost, or otherwise slow down the session because you have to find them, if they don't actually get lost. Stack your own damn dice, don't make me have to clean up your mess.
You were complaining about rearrangering their OWN dice! It's not that big of a deal!
And no, I really don't care if people touch my dice. They're just dice!
You were complaining about rearrangering their OWN dice! It's not that big of a deal!
And no, I really don't care if people touch my dice. They're just dice!
I also have another player that I beleive was described in one of the first 200 posts... a Dice stacker. Gah, she stacks everyone's dice when they aren't looking, gah keep your hands off our stuff! Don't you understand personal space and ownership? I mean, it's bad enough that you do it to your own stuff, but everyone elses?
All the emphasis was on her taking our dice to do so. Not only do I have all the other reasons why it's annoying, but the biggest one is I don't play D&D to play lincoln logs, or find the small little die in the room, or want to waste 15 minutes on something that I have no interest in. Distracted players are all over this list, and this is distracting!
I don't mind if someone borrows my dice for rolls, they're meant to be rolled - they aren't meant to be a D&D mini-game for the ADHD annoying person.
This is the player who - when you kill his character, get him into trouble, prohibit a particular feat or race or alternate class or PrC, and restrict him in any way - will threaten "just wait until you're playing in my game" and then delivers on his threat: months (or even years) later.
The Indecision-maker
This is the player who had just sat for 10 minutes waiting for his turn without thinking about what he'll do on his turn. When his turn comes up he takes another 10 minutes to decide what he's gonna do, and another 10 minutes digging through the books and reading the spell description or (heaven help us all) grappling/tripping/disarming/sundering rules.
The I'm-Always-Not-Here
He promises to show up for a game. He does. He promises to show up for the next game, three sessions go by without him showing up. When he finally does he either has no excuse, or complains that this hobby is too time consuming. Will frequently complain that his character would not have done the things he'd done when played by the DM or other characters. Will complain that his character is lower-level than the rest of the party and does not have enough gear.
The Significant Other of the Other
Sometimes a player and sometimes a hanger-on. Will join the game or insist on sitting-in during the game to be with one's girlfriend/boyfriend who is in the game. If playing in-game often lets personal feelings (whether excessive smooching or an argument from last night) creep into the game. When sitting-in on the game, will make frequent disruptions and distract the Significant Other who's playing in the game.
The Significant Other
Not always a bad player. Not always a problem. But when s/he becomes becomes a problem, it becomes a MAJOR one. Luckily my significant other had always been a good player during sessions, and only asks for a favor or a fudge once in a blue moon and does not abuse that favor. However, that is not always the case.
The Buff
"Someone could totally not wield a longsword two-handed. It does not have the proper grip, and the balance is wrong for two-handed so you wouldn't get the 1.5 Str bonus!" Will argue with fervor about Japanese steel-folding technique versus Toledo one. Will argue that the walls in the castle in a particular area should be made of a different stone. Will argue just to show off pretty much. Often manages to argue himself into a situation where he wins the argument but shoots himself in the foot by convincing a DM to apply a particular penalty.
All the emphasis was on her taking our dice to do so. Not only do I have all the other reasons why it's annoying, but the biggest one is I don't play D&D to play lincoln logs, or find the small little die in the room, or want to waste 15 minutes on something that I have no interest in. Distracted players are all over this list, and this is distracting!
I don't mind if someone borrows my dice for rolls, they're meant to be rolled - they aren't meant to be a D&D mini-game for the ADHD annoying person.
man dice cost like a dime apiece. Stack em, fling em, roll em, scoot em, hell steal them. I dont give a crap as lon as you show up and play well. I figure a few nickels per game is not unreasonable.
man dice cost like a dime apiece. Stack em, fling em, roll em, scoot em, hell steal them. I dont give a crap as lon as you show up and play well. I figure a few nickels per game is not unreasonable.
Does that mean that after 10,000 gaming sessions of not breaking/stealing/loosing anything, I can have your TV?
I mean, it's only a few nickels per game. :D
Often makes fun of D&D using terms from another game, or vice versa. Most frequently uses World of Warcraft or other MMORPGs. Will make references to other games while playing D&D. Can be occasionally funny if the rest of the players understand the reference, but annoying if not.
Actually I'm guilty of that, and the rest of my party too, so we don't have too much problem with it as long as the conversation does not derail the game. But I also play in another group where a couple of people will frequently make references and discuss obscure anime or comic books while the rest of us sit in incomprehension and boredom. They will sometimes deride us for not being "cool" enough by never watching/reading said material. Doubleplusuncool.
Does that mean that after 10,000 gaming sessions of not breaking/stealing/loosing anything, I can have your TV?
I mean, it's only a few nickels per game. :D
So by this logic, DM's should charge 15 cents per person per gaming session?
Lets see....4 players X 0.15 X 10,000 sessions = 6,000 Dollars!! Too bad 10,000 sessions is like 64 years at 3 sessions a week. And any DM will tell you that three sessions a week is grueling.
112...Oh, it's my turn
This guy waits until his turn to start thinking about his combat options...
Oh, this drives me nutz. We have a large game and battles can last for hours as encounters had to be scaled up. With often 15+minutes between turns I 'spose it's easy to get distracted, but to wait until your turn to try and figure out what you're gonna do. Argh!
Fortunately, the DM split the campaign into two groups (DM and asst. DM) and this isn't as much of an issue as it was before, but still...
Sar
I also have another player that I beleive was described in one of the first 200 posts... a Dice stacker. Gah, she stacks everyone's dice when they aren't looking, gah keep your hands off our stuff! Don't you understand personal space and ownership? I mean, it's bad enough that you do it to your own stuff, but everyone elses?
From my experience, many new players attempt to stack the dice at least once; but I knew a player that kept doing it over and over and over again, not really paying attention to anything else. When it was her turn, she rolled Hide and continued stacking as many sets as she could. If she couldn't hide, she'd... attempt another time elsewhere and stack some dice. Didn't touch my dice, so it didn't bother me as much, except when the table was hit (sometimes as emphasis when role-playing), they'd fall everywhere. Once, my girlfriend really wanted the people out of the house after the session ended, but they insisted on spending like 30 minutes trying to find a single die because of this. I was like, "We can just find it next week," but nnnooooo, "It has to be around here somewhere! It couldn't have possibly left the room!" Which... proved my point really... especially since that was an old house no one lived in. Coincidentally, it wound up falling in her bag.
Didn't learn anything from it though. Kept stackin' dice, complaining when they were inadvertently yet predictably knocked over, and rolling Hide. I think her Hide check was at 75% (it was sort of CoCish skill system) before the campaign ended.
Oh... and yeah, I'd be irked, too. I never saw a straw man argument fly that wide before. ;)
So by this logic, DM's should charge 15 cents per person per gaming session?
The only flaw in this statement is that I wasn't using logic. Go figure.
man dice cost like a dime apiece. Stack em, fling em, roll em, scoot em, hell steal them. I dont give a crap as lon as you show up and play well. I figure a few nickels per game is not unreasonable.
Well, if overpriced peices of plastic actually cost what they were supposed to, then yeah. But steal them? And I do give a crap if you do that crap and it takes away from gameplay. That's not playing well, when it's her turn in combat, and instead of being able to do what she was supposed to do, she has a stupid grin on her face because she built a tower of dice she doesn't want to destroy to get the die she needs to roll an attack - much less not knowing what she's going to do because she wasn't paying attention. Or the fact that when I get up to go move the monsters, she'll stack my dice, someone bumps the table and the die I needed to roll attacks or damage is now under some random object in the room.
Yeah that's hardly playing well, and nickels per game. Do you even realize how much it would cost you if you had to, once a week you had to find time to drive out to a gaming store with gas prices as high as they are, buy overpriced peices of plastic, and come back just to lose them to something as stupid as that? Do you put on your air conditioning and leave the windows open? Do you put on the heater, and keep the doors and windows open in the winter? Do you design submarines that have screen doors? It's counter-intuative and a waste of money and time.
I have a feeling here, that I struck a nerve with people who stack dice - thinking that I think any form of dice stacking is a terrible problem. If you do it to your own dice, and still pay attention and are a good player - there's no problem with that. As long as you don't take away from the session - but apparently there are people who are feeling guilty about it. If you weren't feeling guilty, why did you respond like that?
You have a study group. Given everyone's schedules, you have 2 hours to study, and you all gather up to study. While studying you need to look up something in a book. While you're busy looking something up in a book, someone steals your pencil and plays around with it.
When you go back to your stuff, the pencil is gone. and you have to get it back from the person who is playing around with it. Instead of handing it back to you like a civilized person, that person flings it across the room, and it goes under a chair. The person doesn't appologize, nor does that person offer to pick it up.
Now, not only is that person distracting you from studying, but that person is stopping you from studying because you have to go find your stupid pencil - when you all came to study. So you finally get the pencil back, after frustration of the lack or respect of the individual that person also wasted the time that you could have spent studying.
So then you tell someone else about your irritation with the pencil stealer.
and that person says sarcastically "yeah, but your pencil still works" and rolls his eyes at you.
So how is this relavent? The problem wasn't that my pencil doesn't work, but that i was focused and studying, and someone else decided without thinking of me, stole it to play around with it, so i had to go through the trouble of getting it back, losing my train of thought and everything. Obviously I wasn't studying - what we all came here for.
Then to your amazement that person replies to you saying "You said you were complaining about them playing around with their own pencils."
Did I say that? No I didn't. Where the in the 9 hells is this coming from?
And then another person says "It's not that big of a deal, he has every right to steal, break or lose your pencil because it costs only like 25 cents, and that's hardly anything to worry about.
Did I complain about the cost of the pencil? No.
Was I annoyed that my pencil cost 25 cents? No.
Not only did that person distract me and frustrate me from their blatant disrespect, but they also wasted my time cutting down on the studying I could do. So yeah, even then, this second person talking to me about the incident is saying that if someone wants to inconvenience me by stealing my pencil, I in turn should have to drive to a store to buy another one because you're disrespectful? Completely out of the blue too.
Seems to me that everyone but the owner but the pencil lacks any comprehension or common sense... Then again, the funniest irony of common sense is that it's not so common.
Hint:
Show
Replace studying with playing D&D and everyone having fun, replace pencil with dice.
the houseplant
The person who literally does nothing without being prompted, speaks very little, acts very little, and contributes very little to combat
Actual combat transcript
after having played for a bout 2 months in the same campaign
Ken (the houseplant): I deal 6 damage to the drow.
DM (me): Ok it drops
Mark (the halforc monk): Sweet! Ken is that like your first kill?
And he wasnt joking.
And just to clarify, I wasnt trying to flame Pangeon, I was just doing a little number crunch for my own amusement.
"If we shadows have offended..." and all that jazz.
HUEG POAST LIEK XBOX
You're crazy-hilarious.
And just to clarify, I wasnt trying to flame Pangeon, I was just doing a little number crunch for my own amusement.
"If we shadows have offended..." and all that jazz.
Oh, I know.
"It's what my character would do!"
This player type has been mentioned in past posts, I'm sure, but I felt the need to bring it up again. This player will justify any and all number of innane, thoughtless, random actions (attacking random villagers, leaping off of tall structures for no apparent reason, and a myriad of other stupid actions that I can't even begin to concieve,) with... "but it's what my character would do!" Often, if not always, Chaotic Stupid in alignment.
1. the prevert. He spends most of his time saying sex jokes or trying to get his chararter laid. Doesnt really pay attation either.
2.The noob fan boy. Hes new at dnd so I cut him some slack but he constantly brings up some video game or anime, and ends up slowing down the hole group. Also the only idea he and the prev have on playing there chararters is I WILL SLICE IT WITH MY SWORD. He will also have his chararter mimic one of the many many games hes played.
me: so you want to be a undead slayer in a red coat carring a big sword and two hand guns.
him: yeah
me: can you explane how he fits into middevil europe.
3. the text messager. spends all of his time on a cell phone, even when he dms.
My group form hell.
Oh, I know.
"It's what my character would do!"
This player type has been mentioned in past posts, I'm sure, but I felt the need to bring it up again. This player will justify any and all number of innane, thoughtless, random actions (attacking random villagers, leaping off of tall structures for no apparent reason, and a myriad of other stupid actions that I can't even begin to concieve,) with... "but it's what my character would do!" Often, if not always, Chaotic Stupid in alignment.
Thats just like the cell phone guy in my group
... if being a disrespectful prick that takes away from the game and fun isn't someone that qualify as someone who would be a "worst player" then I appologize for being so self centered that I think everyone at the table should be having fun, not just the disrespectful pricks having fun pestering other people.
I understand what you're saying and agree that the person is a certainly an annoying player, but there's one glaringly obvious mistake you made in your defense:
You're expecting anything less than hostility from a group of anonymous people who can pretty much do as they please and WILL.
If I were you I'd just walk away; certain people are obviously not taking your arguments seriously and they're only going to act less human and sink lower the more you press it. I've said it before and I'll say it again: You're free to express your opinions here and expect no berating from anyone... so long as your opinions conform to what the vocal jerks want to hear.
It's kinda like Ford's Model-T quote. I like it.
You're crazy-hilarious.
ZOMG WUT U SAI? sUM1 seT me up teH bomzr0rz? LOL0rz
Show
Nope. I'm just crazy...
I understand what you're saying and agree that the person is a certainly an annoying player, but there's one glaringly obvious mistake you made in your defense:
You're expecting anything less than hostility from a group of anonymous people who can pretty much do as they please and WILL.
You're actually being even crueler than I am.
Actually, given the volume of my posting over the last 3 years, I've generally dealt with much more respectable people than what fits that of the people you are describing. There are bad apples every now and then.
and what's with this?
but there's one glaringly obvious mistake you made in your defense:
You're expecting anything less than hostility from a group of anonymous people who can pretty much do as they please and WILL.
Since when is it a mistake in your defense if people are "abysmally stupid?" That's not my fault, but rather the people who are "abysmally stupid." If anything, you're putting yourself in that group of people yourself by making the exact same mistake they did by instead of actually using reasons to say why detracting from gameplay is somehow a righteous act, you take a tangent that has absolutely no relevance to the subject at hand to argue your point. This is a logic fallacy known as Irrelevant Material, you can look up other common logic fallacies here.
If I were you I'd just walk away
I will once/if i get fed up with the pointlessness, but by virtue of my even posting on this forum, I've accepted that there will be at least some level of pointlessness that I'll put up with. If I wanted to stop being proven that there's no hope for humanity, I'd kill myself or become a monk in solitary.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: You're free to express your opinions here and expect no berating from anyone... so long as your opinions conform to what the vocal jerks want to hear.
That's such an easy way out of life. Don't be yourself because someone else will hate you for it? Everyone's bound not to make someone happy. I don't care about being verbally attacked, it happens everywhere, and ussually comes out of the insecurity of others.
Does that mean that after 10,000 gaming sessions of not breaking/stealing/loosing anything, I can have your TV?
I mean, it's only a few nickels per game. :D
Lol well since i only game once a week that would mean i had known you for like 200 years. At that point, whats a TV between freinds?
The party bully, this player always creates characters that are optimised for PKing, and tries to bully the rest of the party into doing whatever he wants. This is the guy who gives optimizers their ultimate bad name! Any attempts to neutralize his strengths or play on his weaknesses result in accusations of metagaming (yeah ... pot ... kettle ...), winging to the DM and threats of dire repurcussions if he dies because of what his NEXT character is going to be like .... usually ends up being abandoned by the rest of the party to be eaten by something he couldn't beat.
clipped
...huh.
I was joking. Fine, you didn't find it funny, but THIS? Come on. Not only did you pick apart almost every single aspect of my post on the false premise that I was being serious, but you have to insult my intelligence as well with that link?
Look, I didn't actually believe you made a real "mistake" in your defense. And if I really believed one should just shut up and avoid jerks, then I wouldn't have even had the security to post at all, would I?
Well, I learned one thing from this at least... when debating with people, don't coldly post a link to logical fallacies and expect them to actually read it, because it comes off as elitist and insulting.
background- i came into the campaign about a month ago. new character. im chaotic good sorcerer. its a strong group of people. this NPC was coming after one of the players. there was a new character but not new player. the old character died. new one is chaotic neutral. so the NPC declares that he is there after the player. i help. so its me and the hunted character. the neurtral character desides that its not their fight...
we were fighting a kind of "boss" so to speak. we get owned. i almost die. in the end through the whole battle the neutral character did nothing. got asked to help right before the bad guy got dropped. then acted like it didn't matter. and the reasoning was that it was not their fight. eh, dang.
," quite possibly in complete seriousness, to comical effect.:D :P
Man, Dungeons and Dragons is so fun!..er stupid..yeah its stupid.
The guy who will play great, makes great characters and is fun to be around, but when in a local book shop with you, strays away from the RP section or will be talking about the game one minute and when people are near will shut up or switch the subject or tell you how much of a geek you are for liking the game.
gamer: hey last nights game was fun
person: yeah, I totally kicked this kobold.
random person overhearing: whats a kobold? is that like duneons and dragons?
person: no no, I said FOOTBALL, dungeons and dragons is for nerds...
This bad player isn't just one player. And it's not that they're really bad people. But this is a group of friends that has gamed together for years. They already know each other and have their own in jokes. You're the outsider. And none of them ever tell you that you're being a problem. So what happens? You get a sudden E-mail that you're being booted from the group for having created a "Problem" since you joined the campaign. And that was almost a year ago.
"The Unknown"
He's the guy that nobody in the group knew until he joined the campaign. And nobody knows him well enough to know how he'll react if he's told that he's creating a problem. Thus, nobody tells him that he is a problem until he is booted from the group.
"The Dragon Fan" (It's me, I admit it. I'm not a worst case though.)
This guy/girl LOVES dragons. He bought Draconomicon as soon as he could, and the same with Races of the Dragon. All of his sorcerers have Draconic Heritage. He will only play Kobolds, Dragonborn, Spellscales. Dragon Shaman became one of his favorite classes as soon as the Players Handbook 2 came out. He often asks if he can play a Dragon, either using Draconomicon rules or the rules from Dragon Magazine. And the worst Dragon Fans can't tolerate anything that would reflect badly on dragonkind.
"The Requestor"
This guy loves new splatbooks. In fact, everytime something new comes out, he just HAS to request something new from it. It might be a new feat, or a spell, or an alternate class feature. He just HAS to add it to a character. This isn't a problem at first. But it culminates in either a DM warning to cut it out, or being booted from the group for being a pain in the arse.
"The Dragon Fan" (It's me, I admit it. I'm not a worst case though.)
This guy/girl LOVES dragons. He bought Draconomicon as soon as he could, and the same with Races of the Dragon. All of his sorcerers have Draconic Heritage. He will only play Kobolds, Dragonborn, Spellscales. Dragon Shaman became one of his favorite classes as soon as the Players Handbook 2 came out. He often asks if he can play a Dragon, either using Draconomicon rules or the rules from Dragon Magazine. And the worst Dragon Fans can't tolerate anything that would reflect badly on dragonkind.I had a friend that was like that but he also liked fighting them if he cant be one so he REALLY wanted for the group to fight one because he designed his character for dragons slaying. I was going to have the group fight one anyway (or run away) so when the time came he ended up to be the ONLY person who died it was almost comical in a sick since because he also RP'd the crap out of his character and put so much work into it.
This is actually my brother...This player has a specific place he rolls his dice. On his character sheet, in a bowl lined with green felt (my brother), or some other place. The roll only counts if it's in that spot. Unless, of course, they roll a nat 20 in the kitchen sink.
What-can-my-character-do?
This player can never remember what his character's abilities are. If he's a monk, he forgets that he can slow fall; if he's a wizard, he casts his spells like a sorcerer (just choose one from his spellbook; no memorization required); and if he's a fighter, he always forgets he took Cleave.
My-character-can-do-anything
We've all seen this one, I think. A person who takes so many classes and prestige classes that he can pretty much do anything. Just really badly.
the new character/same player
dies a million times in a single campaign, rolls new character every time. and everytime the character sucks. i feel bad for these folks. almost want to say "please let me help you." but help is refused
Imagine a 6' 2" gamer that thinks the Matrix is real(and lives his life accordingly), debates/argues with the DM over every little thing, is still living with his mom(and thus expects the world to cater to him/her like she does), buys video games with his money and then cries broke when you ask him why he does not have his/her own PHB. Just generally gets on everyone's nerves, even when you are not gaming, and has a loser's attitude that the world is somehow wrong for not coddling him/her along like their crummy parents have been doing and thus teaching them nothing. A real "I am entitled to something even though I did not earn it" type character.
If you can imagine that you will have a clear image of one of my old associates whom thought he was from Sumer, quoted from Paul Atredez of the DUNE series often(as if the book was something to live by), and was an avid pseudo-intellectual plagiarist as well as a horrid gamer.
~~~
I dont know if this has been posted but...
Man, Dungeons and Dragons is so fun!..er stupid..yeah its stupid.
The guy who will play great, makes great characters and is fun to be around, but when in a local book shop with you, strays away from the RP section or will be talking about the game one minute and when people are near will shut up or switch the subject or tell you how much of a geek you are for liking the game.
gamer: hey last nights game was fun
person: yeah, I totally kicked this kobold.
random person overhearing: whats a kobold? is that like duneons and dragons?
person: no no, I said FOOTBALL, dungeons and dragons is for nerds...
Ugh, we have one of those... Poor poor closet gamers.
Man, Dungeons and Dragons is so fun!..er stupid..yeah its stupid.
The guy who will play great, makes great characters and is fun to be around, but when in a local book shop with you, strays away from the RP section or will be talking about the game one minute and when people are near will shut up or switch the subject or tell you how much of a geek you are for liking the game.
gamer: hey last nights game was fun
person: yeah, I totally kicked this kobold.
random person overhearing: whats a kobold? is that like duneons and dragons?
person: no no, I said FOOTBALL, dungeons and dragons is for nerds...
They need to come out of the closet. Don't they know that it's pitch black in there, and they are likely to be eaten by a grue?
S/he always insists on the game being realistic in the real world when all it will accomplish is a) the party splitting up, b) some other catastrophe occuring or c) it is other wise beneficial to him.
example: one gamer refused to acknowledge that he had heard a party member saying that they had a boat, he insisted that he couldn't possibly have heard him over the harbor racket and went off to build/buy his own. He then proceeded to use the time to get bonus exp. hunting while waiting for the ship to be completed.
He later was enslaved but could work enough to gain freedom. Their was a (house) spell that caused him to take loads of subdual damage when he refused an order. He was basically playing a fighter with the morals and ideals of a paladin. He refused to work because "his character would never submit to such bandits" when he finally came around he made a huge deal out of how he had turned away from his god because Heironeus had not helped him.
Refuses to go along with the party for no reason what so ever
No idea if this one has been posted yet, here goes.
This player refuses to travel with the party and insists on either following them or doing something completely different.
same player as above same campaign...
The captain (me) shows up in the tavern where the evil player (lets call him tate) is staying.
Cap: Hey, we heard you stayed back hear to build a ship instead coming like you were going to.
Tate: It got burned down, and now i have to go to trial.
Trial happens and Tate loses.
Cap: Tate, are you ready to come with us?
Tate: No, im not coming with you.
We all leave and Tate decides to follow us back to the ship and then swims to the ship. We are very far north, he is a fighter with full plate and he has the bright idea to take off his armour and lug it with him. But that isn't the point. He had an opportunity to comewith us but instead decides that it is better to try and sneak up on us!
I don't have a name for this being but s/he is a relative of the "Its What my Char would do"
S/he always insists on the game being realistic in the real world when all it will accomplish is a) the party splitting up, b) some other catastrophe occuring or c) it is other wise beneficial to him.
example: one gamer refused to acknowledge that he had heard a party member saying that they had a boat, he insisted that he couldn't possibly have heard him over the harbor racket and went off to build/buy his own. He then proceeded to use the time to get bonus exp. hunting while waiting for the ship to be completed.
He later was enslaved but could work enough to gain freedom. Their was a (house) spell that caused him to take loads of subdual damage when he refused an order. He was basically playing a fighter with the morals and ideals of a paladin. He refused to work because "his character would never submit to such bandits" when he finally came around he made a huge deal out of how he had turned away from his god because Heironeus had not helped him.
Refuses to go along with the party for no reason what so ever
No idea if this one has been posted yet, here goes.
This player refuses to travel with the party and insists on either following them or doing something completely different.
same player as above same campaign...
The captain (me) shows up in the tavern where the evil player (lets call him tate) is staying.
Cap: Hey, we heard you stayed back hear to build a ship instead coming like you were going to.
Tate: It got burned down, and now i have to go to trial.
Trial happens and Tate loses.
Cap: Tate, are you ready to come with us?
Tate: No, im not coming with you.
We all leave and Tate decides to follow us back to the ship and then swims to the ship. We are very far north, he is a fighter with full plate and he has the bright idea to take off his armour and lug it with him. But that isn't the point. He had an opportunity to comewith us but instead decides that it is better to try and sneak up on us!
"The Antiparty Player" sounds about right. I think someone else mentioned this type of player under a different name.
The Psionic Nova This guy actually creates one of the Nova builds off if the Optimization boards. Then sits in the back of the party for most of the fight because he just never gets that he has to conserve Power points. Utterly incapable of manifesting ANY power below the maximum manifestation limit, his power points are gone before his cohort wizard's spells run out.
The psionic hoarder" Polar opposite of the Psionic Nova, this player almost never manifests a power above the minimum number of power points needed. He almost always has so little impact on the battle that the party would rather have a Psionic Nova or just about ANYTHING else. This player's psionic characters and spellcasters will undoubtedly have numerous spells or power points left. They can never be convinced to use those power points, even in "boss" type encounters.
"The Politician" This character makes everyone's lives miseable by either bringing up politics during the game, or by insisting on arguing over ANY political comment, joke or quip. This player doesn't even realise that nobody cares about the Al Gore movie, or that Bush isn't an idiot. He just HAS to have his say about politics.
The Anti Religious" Insists on making every possible joke against organised religion. And not about the in game religions. Will make the worst anti Christian jokes, makes fun of the Jewish (And possibly the holocaust, if he's feeling irreverent today). Nothing is sacred to him. His jokes get so bad that only athiests laugh at them.
The Overly Religious" This guy is typically a Christian that somehow got into D&D. His characters never worship any of the in game gods because he doesn't want to blaspheme against God. If he plays a Cleric, he either tries to get God houseruled in, or tries to have his character worship the causes of "Good" and "Hope". He just can't keep in game and out of game divide when it comes to religion. Also, he usually can't take a joke.
The "Why Can't I Play That" Player/ This guy's first request is to play a Kender. His second request is a Frenzied Berserker. The third request is a Gestalt character in a normal campaign. Typically, he follows this up with an evil character. Or perhaps psionics, if psionics isn't allowed. And he always has to be told WHY he can't play that, in detail.
The Psionic Nova This guy actually creates one of the Nova builds off if the Optimization boards. Then sits in the back of the party for most of the fight because he just never gets that he has to conserve Power points. Utterly incapable of manifesting ANY power below the maximum manifestation limit, his power points are gone before his cohort wizard's spells run out.
The psionic hoarder" Polar opposite of the Psionic Nova, this player almost never manifests a power above the minimum number of power points needed. He almost always has so little impact on the battle that the party would rather have a Psionic Nova or just about ANYTHING else. This player's psionic characters and spellcasters will undoubtedly have numerous spells or power points left. They can never be convinced to use those power points, even in "boss" type encounters.
The psionic time bomb A combination of the two. This guy never uses any powers (maybe a mind thrust if he's not feeling very conservative) until he encounters what he believes to be the biggest fight of the session and blows all his power points to vaporize the enemy in one round. Often does this one fight before the BBEG.
The Anti Religious" Insists on making every possible joke against organised religion. And not about the in game religions. Will make the worst anti Christian jokes, makes fun of the Jewish (And possibly the holocaust, if he's feeling irreverent today). Nothing is sacred to him. His jokes get so bad that only athiests laugh at them.
Ahem. Atheists can also tell when religious jokes are offensive.
My mother: Makes a paladin of St. Cuthbert because it was the closest thing to Christianity. Sees a goblin. Runs screaming.......
What? Wow. Is your mother like my mother (used to think D&D is evil, but is ok with what you do now.)
The closest religion to Christianity is probably the Church of Pelor in stabdard D&D (Idk much about FR buth from a brief reading i would say that Lathander/Ilmater mix would be most like Christianity) (and by closest i mean in philosophy, not in the fact that they worship the sun/ sun diety)
[b]
The Overly Religious" This guy is typically a Christian that somehow got into D&D. His characters never worship any of the in game gods because he doesn't want to blaspheme against God. If he plays a Cleric, he either tries to get God houseruled in, or tries to have his character worship the causes of "Good" and "Hope". He just can't keep in game and out of game divide when it comes to religion. Also, he usually can't take a joke.
Oi.
Once again another cuh-razy christian giving the rest of us christians a bad name.
I do resent the implication that D&D and Christians are unmixable and that a Christian "somehow" got into D&D (not flaming, just stating my opinion). While i understand the reluctance of a Christian to enter the grey area of have a character worship a diety, if one can correctly seperate fantasy from reality (and i hope all mature yound adults and adults here fall into that category. Its pretty scary to play with someone who blurs this line) then theres no problem. I'd play a Cleric of Hextor if i thought it would make an interesting character. I've played LG, NG, CG, LN, N, CN characters before (usually dont play evil because its harder on the campaign).
Just thought I'd let everyone know that there are Christians out there who arent idiots. Just because I'm against abortion and gay marriage doesnt mean i hate anyone and just because I have a cleric character doesnt make me a blasphemer. Oi. Jesus would play D&D ! :D
Jesus would play D&D ! :D
Jesus: "What was I thinking with all this 'meek shall inherit the earth' nonsense? CoDzilla ftw!"
The Uber-Ninja: Belives that ninjas are super awsome and can do anything. Will respond to a failed roll by saying "But I'm a ninja I'm too awsome for that."
The Lucky Moment:Will have horrible luck up until it's all or nothing. Will be brought down to 1 hp due to stupidity. Then will roll 3 insta kills on a boss.
Mr. Strange Combo:Chooses a ridiculous class combo then refuses to back it up in any way IC. (exe. Ninja-Barbarian, Samurai-Pirate, Brbarian-Monk-Shadow Dance, stc.)
Unfortunatly I have all 3 in the same person for my current group.
Oi.
Once again another cuh-razy christian giving the rest of us christians a bad name.
I do resent the implication that D&D and Christians are unmixable and that a Christian "somehow" got into D&D (not flaming, just stating my opinion). While i understand the reluctance of a Christian to enter the grey area of have a character worship a diety, if one can correctly seperate fantasy from reality (and i hope all mature yound adults and adults here fall into that category. Its pretty scary to play with someone who blurs this line) then theres no problem. I'd play a Cleric of Hextor if i thought it would make an interesting character. I've played LG, NG, CG, LN, N, CN characters before (usually dont play evil because its harder on the campaign).
Just thought I'd let everyone know that there are Christians out there who arent idiots. Just because I'm against abortion and gay marriage doesnt mean i hate anyone and just because I have a cleric character doesnt make me a blasphemer. Oi. Jesus would play D&D ! :D
Dear DMStevo,
First off, I WAS THE RELIGIOUS GUY IN THE HOME CAMPAIGN THAT I PLAYED IN THAT WAS OFFENDED BY A NON-RELIGIOUS GUY'S CHRISTIAN BASHING.
Secondly, I NEVER meant this to offend anyone. Nor did I aim it at anyone. (Save the actual tortured religious gamer.) I have actually never played with many of the player types that I have posted. They are "I'd hate to meet a guy that bad." examples. Don't take it so personally.
Thirdly, I am a Lasped Catholic. I'm not the type to go to church all that much, but I still believe in God. I had a slightly "Overly Religious" phase when I first started playing D&D. Then I got over it. THAT is what I based the overly religious player type on.
Fourth, I didn't expect to get this kind of reaction. I thought it would just be another post. I was more afraid of getting a psionics lover trying angry. Really, I think the Overly Religious buy would also be a Closet Gamer.
Fifth, I just ran out of steam. I've got nothin left.
Sincerely,
Hariman
PS: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The cat didn't make it. It was leter revealed that the dog's name was curiosity. It has yet to be revealed what the cat did to curiousity.
PPS: Evil is hard on the game if you play it against the party. And it does have RP consequenses in any lawful or good areas. (IE: Cities, towns, civilization.) But Evil is manageable. Of course, I have yet to see evil played in a campaign at all, so I shouldn't really talk. I'm really just thinking of Belkar in OOTS. He's full blown CE, but manages with a party of goody goodies.
Moving on:
The Lucky Moment:Will have horrible luck up until it's all or nothing. Will be brought down to 1 hp due to stupidity. Then will roll 3 insta kills on a boss.
Players love this guy. He's reliable in a pinch.
The psionic time bomb A combination of the two. This guy never uses any powers (maybe a mind thrust if he's not feeling very conservative) until he encounters what he believes to be the biggest fight of the session and blows all his power points to vaporize the enemy in one round. Often does this one fight before the BBEG.
Ahem. Atheists can also tell when religious jokes are offensive.
I can't really tell if the person/people I'm referring too were actually athiests so:
You've got some decent athiests where you are. The people I played with really made me (more than) uncomfortable more than once.
And just to note, If you'd like to ask more about this, PM me or start a new thread. Let's not clog up a fun thread too much.
Next, my on topic addition:
The Why does my spellcaster suck? Regardless of the class, his spellcasters suck. Typically unable to choose an effective variety of spells. Often chooses the wrong spell to cast in combat. Loves trying to be a melee fighter yet has NO spells that make melee more survivable. And he never puts any ranks into Concentration, Spellcraft, or Knowledge Arcana. His spellcasters are on the ground more than they are casting. The party LIKES it when he sits back and plunks away with a crossbow. Mainly because that's the only time he has a good effect on the battle.
Not bad per se, just annoying. This guy will keep/builld/buy/steal the weirdest things. If the party finds a nonmagical hunk of steel in a chest, he will take it. If he recieves a million gp, he will spend it on gunpowder, a huge barrel, and a trebuchet. When Picking starting equipment for a shadowcaster, he will buy a tanglefoot bag for no apparent reason. He excuses his actions by saying that "it'll come in handy." The thing is he's usually right.
This is a player who has either been kicked out, or left(once he saw the signs the the DM, or/and group players, were getting tired of him), a gaming group due to fitting one, or more, of the descriptions outlined here on this thread.
This player, now falsely claiming to be a DM, prowls the D&D gaming messageboards flaming any thread which casts light on bad players. The so-called logic behind this is by pretending to be a DM they can sway other DMs to their side; thus the reason for calling them "masked." The crusader half comes in because they somehow taken up some retarded cause to argue with each and every DM that does not put up with negative player types. This happens quite often here on the Wizards boards.
If ignored these people usually follow you from thread-to-thread with the same stale, bitter arguements.
You've got some decent athiests where you are. The people I played with really made me (more than) uncomfortable more than once.
Atheists like that are the sort of atheists who do it to be cool. :\
"That's what 3E is about, options. I should be able to do whatever I want. It is in a D&D book, so if it is in a book you should be able to make it fit your campaign"
Ah yes, the mantra of the WoTC test-tube baby. The belief that if it is in a D&D book, they should be able to use it. What do I say to that ?
See ya Junior. Don't let the door smack you in the buttocks.
The test-tube baby relies on WoTCs pro-player stance and products to support his rants, and whining for ultimately broken, simple-minded character creations. The test-tube baby lies in waiting for the next WoTC product to be released that includes a winged race, or some other such stupid mechanic(such as re-designing a character's race mid-game), so that he can spring it on the DM, and the rest of the players, by using the "3E is about options and if you don't let me have it your bad", excuse to support his ridiculous character idea; which will change as soon as the next book comes out.
The test-tube baby needs more supplements like a smoker needs cigarettes; he's a book junky. He gains enjoyment from creating ridiculous video-game like characters and will continue to do so if you and your true roleplayers let him. The test-tube baby does not understand that the DM is running the game, not WoTC, so no matter how many supplements they release, the DM does not have to allow them.
~~~
The WoTC test-tube baby(aka The WoTC spokesperson)
"That's what 3E is about, options. I should be able to do whatever I want. It is in a D&D book, so if it is in a book you should be able to make it fit your campaign"
Ah yes, the mantra of the WoTC test-tube baby. The belief that if it is in a D&D book, they should be able to use it. What do I say to that ?
See ya Junior. Don't let the door smack you in the buttocks.
The test-tube baby relies on WoTCs pro-player stance and products to support his rants, and whining for ultimately broken, simple-minded character creations. The test-tube baby lies in waiting for the next WoTC product to be released that includes a winged race, or some other such stupid mechanic(such as re-designing a character's race mid-game), so that he can spring it on the DM, and the rest of the players, by using the "3E is about options and if you don't let me have it your bad", excuse to support his ridiculous character idea; which will change as soon as the next book comes out.
The test-tube baby needs more supplements like a smoker needs cigarettes; he's a book junky. He gains enjoyment from creating ridiculous video-game like characters and will continue to do so if you and your true roleplayers let him. The test-tube baby does not understand that the DM is running the game, not WoTC, so no matter how many supplements they release, the DM does not have to allow them.
I... Love you...
It needed to be said damnit!:D
-Gene
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
*slowly raises hand*
guilty
The WoTC test-tube baby(aka The WoTC spokesperson)
"That's what 3E is about, options. I should be able to do whatever I want. It is in a D&D book, so if it is in a book you should be able to make it fit your campaign"
Ah yes, the mantra of the WoTC test-tube baby. The belief that if it is in a D&D book, they should be able to use it. What do I say to that ?
See ya Junior. Don't let the door smack you in the buttocks.
/snip
~~~
Woah woah woah... what? I see were your coming from, but banning... books?
I think thats a bit.. extreme....
Seems to me like your bitter over past characters you have played with/DMed....
If the DM okays it... then talk to your DM or just leave the group. If your the DM you SHOULD be checking everyones characters befor they begin play.... I really dont see a problem with someone deciding to be a ninja instead of a rogue or a Druid taking the urban druid variant, as long as the DM is ok with it and it isnt one of those "oh didnt i tell you?" sorta things.
Im new to the game which gives me an excuse to be an idiot
Everyone is new at one point in time, it took me a long time to understand spells per day. (I belive my original quote on the subject was "But mana is so much cooler!")
But this persons lack of game knowlage and lack of general knowlage combine to make him a potently bad gamer. Maybe he played too much diablo, maybe he has no swords and magic type knowlage at all, but damn hes frustrating.
Commonly heard saying such things as
"I use prestadigitation (I cannont spell that word to save my life) to dirty his mind, killing him!"
"If i ever DM my bartenders will be level 20 so they cant just get killed like that."
And, my all time favorite. Said by a friends friend during his first game. (on a side note, this man is now a very competent player and fun to play with, but we wont let him live this down"
"Im an evil rogue!"-Said as the character walks into a bar
I feel cleansed
...huh.
I was joking. Fine, you didn't find it funny, but THIS? Come on. Not only did you pick apart almost every single aspect of my post on the false premise that I was being serious, but you have to insult my intelligence as well with that link?
Look, I didn't actually believe you made a real "mistake" in your defense. And if I really believed one should just shut up and avoid jerks, then I wouldn't have even had the security to post at all, would I?
Well, I learned one thing from this at least... when debating with people, don't coldly post a link to logical fallacies and expect them to actually read it, because it comes off as elitist and insulting.
"Relax, I was joking!"
Always makes the dumbest jokes and arguments simply to get a rise out of someone. When confronted about his rampant idiocy or any attempt to discuss his "thoughts" using intelligence, he attempts to mitigate everything by saying "I was just joking, jeez!" Usually ends up offending enough people to be ignored/blocked in all forms of communication and ejected from any game not involving alcohol.
Woah woah woah... what? I see were your coming from, but banning... books?
I think thats a bit.. extreme....
Seems to me like your bitter over past characters you have played with/DMed....
If the DM okays it... then talk to your DM or just leave the group. If your the DM you SHOULD be checking everyones characters befor they begin play.... I really dont see a problem with someone deciding to be a ninja instead of a rogue or a Druid taking the urban druid variant, as long as the DM is ok with it and it isnt one of those "oh didnt i tell you?" sorta things.
Remember this ?:
The Masked Crusader
This is a player who has either been kicked out, or left(once he saw the signs the the DM, or/and group players, were getting tired of him), a gaming group due to fitting one, or more, of the descriptions outlined here on this thread.
This player, now falsely claiming to be a DM, prowls the D&D gaming messageboards flaming any thread which casts light on bad players. The so-called logic behind this is by pretending to be a DM they can sway other DMs to their side; thus the reason for calling them "masked." The crusader half comes in because they somehow taken up some retarded cause to argue with each and every DM that does not put up with negative player types. This happens quite often here on the Wizards boards.
If ignored these people usually follow you from thread-to-thread with the same stale, bitter arguements.
Read it thoroughly and compare it with your post.
Moving on. Up next we have...
The Adversarial Player(a.k.a. Mr./Mrs. Why Can't I kill the DM ?)
Yep, I know you have seen them--or perhaps even DMed for one. This player is a metagamer to his/her heart being that their main intent is to "defeat the DM", rather than enjoy the game as a PC overcoming the adventure through in-character actions.
This player sees the DM as someone sitting next to them holding a controller and always talks to the DM out of character, does silly things assuming he is somehow attacking the DM/or defeating the DM. He does not understand that this is not XBOX live, and the DM does not exist as an actual person in the campaign.
This player's character is always extremely bland due to the fact that he is not concerned with creating an excellent character and taking part in amazing adventures; he wants to beat the DM himself. Of course this is not the meaning of the game--and is impossible--but somehow this player has enough screws loose as to think he is "role playing" correctly. One only has to look as far as the multiple "adversarial" players that lurk on the WoTC boards to see this in action.
The Freeloader(a.k.a. The Loser)
You know the kind, always at a group with something to say about how the game should be, but also the only one at the gaming table that does not own one single D&D book.
The freeloader usually spends alot of time living with his/her parents(rent-free), and thus expects everyone to extend the same luxury that his/her parents extend to him/her all the time. Lord forbid this guy/girl have to actually purchase a PHB to support his/her hobby. The world would come to an end.
The freeloader has a pocketful of promises about buying books, but never will. Why ? Because YOU have books of course! He/she can just use and abuse your books, and then afterwards complain about how the books need more of this or that. This player also thinks the DM is there to do anything he/she wants, regardless of the group or story consistency, with no type of compensation for the DM or other players(No money, food, showing up on time, or anything). He is basically what I have named him, a Freeloader.
The WoTC messageboard advocate
This player hangs on the official D&D message boards venting about his imaginary bill of player's rights. A few years ago some players had a thread going talking about how they can sue over their D&D characters. Yes, it is that bad here on the WotC boards. Usually you will find him/her in threads entitled "Is it the DMs world alone ?!!!", "Down with DMs, up with Player's!" Or something silly along those lines.
What they hope to accomplish by starting threads that are usually so juvenile that it is ridiculous; I don't know, but for the most part I think they believe they are spreading a message, which possibly could be: The people starting these dumb threads are one soda short of a 6-pack ?
~~~
The Nymphoholic - This guy's main goal in the game is too somehow eventually bed a nymph, whether through some kind of coercion or having an insane charisma score. If the person is a DM, they stock all the major inns and taverns with nymph (or dryad) waitresses and tell the PCs (even the female ones) that they are all so hot that you can't help but stare, completely forgeting that there are rolls involved to be stunned or anything by the looks of said nymph. If you do something stupid in his campaign a suddenly a nymph charms you and robs you blind without so much as a check.
The Tough Guy - This blowhard loves to have his "perfectly crafted" PC challenge the other PCs to fights, because he honestly thinks that his level 1 Wizard can easily defeat the fully armed and armored party tank in one on one combat. At other times, he's reminiscing about how his favorite PC could easily take out whatever challenge you're facing...
TG "OH man, I wish we had my Xth level Drow Rogue/Fighter/Sorcerer here right now. He would totally kick the crap out of the BBEG, and then would do the same to you guys if you didn't let him take all the treasure. You know, in my old campaign, he got so powerful, that he was made a king of part of Faerun, and he had the coolest living armor ever. One thing I hate is when a player brags about a character from a past campaign, as if that character was some masterpiece of PC building, when it's obvious that the DM let them make whatever overpower character they wanted and then showered them with magic items and gold on top of that.
A player who had a monty-haul/metagaming/monsterkillfest DM and expects every campaign to follow this patern, and whines constantly when you insist that he pay attention to 'class', ;character knowledge' and 'alignment' - things he insists are 'fluff'.
1108: flaw fanatic,
guy who picks 16 flaws to get 8 extra first level feats. his ninja's dark secret is that he's gay.
LOL
MacGyver - Without consulting the other players, thinks up complex and high-risk plans involving half a dozen different magic items and spell effects. Invariably gets someone killed, but [annoyingly] never dies hisownself.
So named because the enemies/monsters/DM "can't touch this."
This is the player who is prepared for anything. Always a character with evasion, and often mettle as well. Also has a way to avoid all danger within the boundaries of the rules. Is smart and clever and carries all sorts of magical and mundane items in Bags of Holding "just in case." Has insanely high saves, AC and tumble/escape artist/etc bonuses. To avoid annoying the DM too much, this player generally plays characters that are not broken in any sense other than being able to escape from any danger unscathed, and roleplays well enough. Notably, these characters occasionally wield certain bludgeoning weapons, because it's "Hammer Time."
Admittedly, this pretty much sums up one of my recent characters (A winged changeling rogue) but it was really fun for me.
This player is effectively neutralized if you can convince him/her to play someone who is not a sneaky-type character.
The DMPC
Oh god, no! If you ever need a huge glowing indicator over the head of a bad DM announcing that he's a bad DM, the DM controlled PC is it. The DM has so many NPCs under his control, he can add NPCs to the party, he can play with all the cool toys the Monster Manual gives him, he doesn't need a PC too. More than that, He's supposed to be running the whole damn world except the PCs! He can't put full concentration into that if he's trying to run a character himself! And worst of all, it's bloody likely that the only reason he has this character is to run an ego trip for himself, with the rest of the players intended to be his admiring audiences / humiliated stooges as he wished.
DMPCs are bad.
I resent that. On many occasions I've had to use the DMPC. Not out of some ego trip, but because there are only three people who play in this area. The other two have never had a single complaint.
The MC Hammer
So named because the enemies/monsters/DM "can't touch this."
This is the player who is prepared for anything. Always a character with evasion, and often mettle as well. Also has a way to avoid all danger within the boundaries of the rules. Is smart and clever and carries all sorts of magical and mundane items in Bags of Holding "just in case." Has insanely high saves, AC and tumble/escape artist/etc bonuses. To avoid annoying the DM too much, this player generally plays characters that are not broken in any sense other than being able to escape from any danger unscathed, and roleplays well enough. Notably, these characters occasionally wield certain bludgeoning weapons, because it's "Hammer Time."
Admittedly, this pretty much sums up one of my recent characters (A winged changeling rogue) but it was really fun for me.
This player is effectively neutralized if you can convince him/her to play someone who is not a sneaky-type character.
The only reason this would be a problem is if someone wants to try a PK, or if the DM has a grudge.
THE CRYBABY: This guy is a pain in the ass. Never pays attention to the game, frequently manages to to get other PCs in deadly peril, blatantly denies his complete lack of understanding on the rules, is NEVER a good team player, and always dies and makes a fuss about it. My spoiled sister outmatured him when she was 5... months old.
THE NARCISE: He loses interest if his character isn't special and unique. Being a prince of humans is too pleb for him, nothing but grey elven nobility is good enough for him. He loves to get his way in life (both Real(tm) and in-game) for who he is rather than what he does. While playing he insists to be treated like royalty and loves to roleplay his contempt to everyone.
THE ELVEN-OBSESSED: won't play anything else. These players are so stuck with tolkien's elves that won't try anything else. They think of themselves as Valar and treat any non-elf with an arrogance that you won't find ANYWHERE in the works of Tolkien. They want so desperately to be like elves that they skip their essence - in both D&D and LotR- completely.
I think we've all had one of these at some time or another, as soon as a dragon pops up its "OMFG! ORGASM!" or they ALWAYS play fighter ELves which are ONLY good in Archery, OR Human Rangers called Aaragorn, something along those lines. And then they thinkt heir in a computer game world where they CAN'T die, and when they do, they think they can "reload" from the last room.
#X - The Fanboy:
I think we've all had one of these at some time or another, as soon as a dragon pops up its "OMFG! ORGASM!" or they ALWAYS play fighter ELves which are ONLY good in Archery, OR Human Rangers called Aaragorn, something along those lines. And then they thinkt heir in a computer game world where they CAN'T die, and when they do, they think they can "reload" from the last room.
We call those people "twinks". I had a DM that ran his game like Diablo. Looking back, making a diplomacy/bluff/sense motive master wasn't such a hot idea.
I resent that. On many occasions I've had to use the DMPC. Not out of some ego trip, but because there are only three people who play in this area. The other two have never had a single complaint.
To every rule there are exceptions, and in this case you appear to be the exception ... in 99% of cases the comments on DMPCs certainly stand. DMPCs are a very bad idea, and I avoid them even if the party is too small (Meh, I just let the players gestalt their characters instead).
This thread is hilarious.. keep it up! It's funny because it's true! - H. Simpson
I resent that. On many occasions I've had to use the DMPC. Not out of some ego trip, but because there are only three people who play in this area. The other two have never had a single complaint.
Why not just have a 3 person party? There's no imperative to have a certain number of PCs.
Everyone is familiar with the classic metagamer. My group had a player who metagamed badly, telling everyone what would be effective, the abilities of creatures, what places were like, and so one - except the information was all wrong (or at lest mostly wrong). The rest of the group was fairly good RPs and went along if our characters didn't know better until we experimentally discovered how wrong the information was (the PLAYERS knew it was wrong from the beginning). Even when the character had the relevant skill, they never bothered to ask the DM what they knew, they apparently just made it up or based it on some other campaign. The player got pretty annoyed when the rest of the character just started ignoring all the advice. This same players apparently assumed the world worked like they thought the D&D mechanics worked (We weren't playing D&D at the time).
The Whiner
May have already been mentioned. Anytime, anything goes poorly (and I mean anything, character gets hurt, fails a save, has to make a moral choice or any decision, etc) it sets off a 5-15+ min whining session about how useless the character is, how unfair/impossible/hopeless the situation is and so forth. We are talking about an adult not a child here.
The guy who can't drive or doesn't have a car, or both, yet usually does nothing all day and owns every book published by WOTC and a dozen other fantasy games, usually still lives with his parents. You have to drive him to every session and then back home, and it just so happens that this guy always lives as far away as possible.
The guy who doesn't chip in for a God-
- Thing. I'm not just talking food and drink, all though he won't ever bring any, he will make sure a vast quantity of what everybody else brought will get eaten, but he won't chip in for money to buy food for a later session or pizza delivery, but still manages to get -Off when you won't let him have a slice from yours.And it doesn't stop there. This guy will never buy dice, miniatures, books, etc. He will bumb everything he possibly can off of you, and generally won't be satisfied when you hand him you least liked set of dice, miniature, etc, and is likey to leave cheesy thumb prints on all the pages of your books from the entire bag of Cheetos he's just devoured that you bought only a few hours ago and were never aware they had been opened.
And finally, the guy who won't clean up.
In my sessions, people are always dropping scraps of paper, shooting pop cans at the waste basket and missing, dropping food on the floor, on the table, etc.
This is the guy who loads everything up, and is out of there before you've even picked up the trash bag. Usually he's the messiest person too, and doesn't hang around to pick a damn thing up.
Why not just have a 3 person party? There's no imperative to have a certain number of PCs.
I meant three people including myself. And the third guy just started playing. When it was just me and one guy, I had brought up solo campaigns, but he wasn't interested. Now, we'll be sarting a new campaign, and I can finally step down.
x: The mysterious stranger. He must wear long cape, be mysterious, won't tell his class, nothing! He thinks it is cool but it is not.
x+1: Same but always evil. Thinks he is subtle, but... no.
#200 The Drunk
The player who is either a stoner or a drunk. He always shows up to games stoned/drunk or gets stoned/drunk while there. He finds it hard to understand basic concepts (thanx to the mind numbing effects) and tends to have his characters do the same thing. luckily this guy can be a hoot if he is in the right mood.
most the time they use as many bovd rules as possible, sadomasocistic (sp?) psychotic canabal?!?!?!?
This is the guy who will willingly run across the room of a vault that's about to collapse in a few rounds just to grab a couple swords that might be magical, at great risk to the rest of the party who would much rather get the heck out of there alive. Nuff said. (we didn't get out alive)
The Excessively Greedy Character:
This is the guy who will willingly run across the room of a vault that's about to collapse in a few rounds just to grab a couple swords that might be magical, at great risk to the rest of the party who would much rather get the heck out of there alive. Nuff said. (we didn't get out alive)
Guilty. I wouldn't do it if it would kill the party, but I have tried to loot stuff such as:
-Whole armoury from ancient dewarven city
-All jewellery from ancient dwarven city
-All statues from ancient dwarven city
-Ancient dwarven city (...what? I can cast tenser's floating disk...)
For some reason DM always limits my options cause of "common sense", etc. houserules.
I'll bet that since the Eberron video game has dropped, ALOT of "hardcore video gamers" have suddenly taken an interest in Eberron. The same thing as what happened after these same video game fanatics played KoToR 1&2(Knights of the Old Republic). All of the sudden they(the "hardcore video gamers") were interested in the SWRPG. These kind of players do not stick with the game, they only like the role playing game , temporarily, due to the video games' release. They also make some of the most ridiculous characters ever; like the time a guy I knew made a red-eyed fire demon in the overly-superstitious Ravenloft campaign setting.
These players usually end up whining over certain aspects of the game which do not fit their video gaming mentality. Basically, short of having an X-Box/PlayStation/Nintendo/PC controller/keyboard in their hands they are not going to be satisfied. Why ? Simple, they are not looking for a "role playing" game, they are looking for a "video" game on paper.
The Alternative Gamer(a.k.a. The alternate system-monger)
We have all ran into this one sometime or another. Whether on the messenger, at our gaming tables, on the messageboards, or whereever else you can think of. Everyone has met the alternative gamer.
You know the guy that is always saying that system X is waaay better than the D&D system, but continues to spend X amount of hours hanging around D&D players, and the D&D message boards ? These guys come in all different forms, such as fans whom are fanatically devoted to one setting in particular, and thus have convinced themselves that this one setting is somehow not connected to the D&D system as a whole, thus they attempt to downtalk D&D.
Even better is the variant hounds that will jump on anything that is a variant from the original. Such as players that claimed Unearthed Arcana was such a gift, yes I own it, was it so much better than other D&D books ? No. Was it helpful ? Yes. Which is why I bought it. Also, the very same thing happens when promoters of other systems weasel onto the messageboards to promote their systems under the guise of "making D&D better."
What I find so funny is the fact that they claim X system is better than D&D, but hang on D&D boards more than I do. Losers, get a life, and remember, don't let these morons into your games. They will just complain about the classes, or the alignments, or the races, or the LA system, or[FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH ABOUT 30 MORE THINGS THEY WILL CLAIM THEY DISLIKE ABOUT THE D&D SYSTEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY "STILL PLAY D&D", AND YOU WILL GET MY POINT]...........
The manipulative player
I have to give this kind of player some credit for manipulating, weak-minded, pushover DMs. This guy will literally have the DM throwing out official D&D rulings because he, the manipulative player, does not like them(i.e. Due to the fact that they stifle his munchkin-ism).
For instance, I see some DMs that will complain profusely about the 3E system, not because something is inherently wrong with this system, but because their players complain about it(due to the limitations some of the rules place on their powergaming!)!
So instead of telling the player to stop whining and suck it up or hit the road; They bend, throw out rulings for these brats, and ultimately screw up the game so that one munchkin player will like them. You see it all the time, cleric classes that use psionics, elves that are 6'2 and built like Conan, PHB dwarves with wings, re-designed and broken magical weapons.
These weak DMs allow it all! Instead of telling the player that does not want to play D&D by the D&D ruleset to beat it. One thing negative that 3E has brought about is the weak-minded, beat-down DM. A good deal of DMs have no backbone. To the DMs that run firm, consistent D&D campaigns utilizing the D&D ruleset with maybe a few houserules(which compliment the ruleset, not overrule it) thrown in.....Kudos!
~~~
THE DOMINATOR
The Dominator is the one who, when present, is the game. Even with an adventuring party of many people, he quietly and smoothly takes over all action and decision making. His influence is apparent when he isn't at the game, as suddenly your character and others can each have a real voice. Until he returns, that is. And when he does, everyone still has a real voice, as long as they follow his direction. Voluntarily of course. Sure.
You all have run in to him once or twice. The PC's enter a major battle. He rolls for initiative, it is invariably poor. He leaves the table. The rest of the players just stare and tilt their heads slightly. He turns on the x-box and T.V. and starts Halo on campaign mode. His turn comes around in combat, he pauses, trudges back to the table and announces "I hit the bad guy near me, but *DM name* you can roll." Then he walks back to his controller and continues to PEWPEW aliens until his next turn.
The Accidental Pyro.
This is the guy who, even if he doesn't have any fire abilities, or equipment, somehow, always manages to set entire cities on fire. And it's rarely the fault of the DM's, because he always manages to do it just right so there's an explosion, or so that it circles all the fire vulnerable buildings and consumes them.
And after he's managed to burn down all the villages on "accident" (admittingly, sometimes it really is), he feels guilty and runs.
The Useless Character Afficiando: the guy who continually plays the most useless character in a group, often under the blanket defense of "roleplaying". Sometimes it is due to a real desire to play a RP heavy character at the expense of combat/adventuring ability, but more often than not caused by sheer pig-headedness or a lack of knowledge of the rules. This player is the diametric opposite of the Powergamer. Even if he does manage to get a moment in the sun, where his character has the ability(s) to save the day when the rest of the party is helpless, more often than not he will ignore the opporunity and do something so unbelievaly inappropriate to the situation it will most likely end up in a TPK. (Yes, I have one of these in my current gaming group - be it Human Cleric or Gnome Sorceror, he is consistently a drain on everyone else in combat situations...he also compounds the frustration by telling other people how they "should" be playing their own characters)
The distracted "well I don't really play D&D" guy:
You all have run in to him once or twice. The PC's enter a major battle. He rolls for initiative, it is invariably poor. He leaves the table. The rest of the players just stare and tilt their heads slightly. He turns on the x-box and T.V. and starts Halo on campaign mode. His turn comes around in combat, he pauses, trudges back to the table and announces "I hit the bad guy near me, but *DM name* you can roll." Then he walks back to his controller and continues to PEWPEW aliens until his next turn.
Fortunately, this guy is really easy to deal with. "Hey (guy), your character died. Oh don't bother making a new character, just go home."
Thurbane: Also easy to deal with. Take him aside and say "look, you have two options: stop sucking and stop trying to tell everyone how they should play, or get out. It's killing everyone's enjoyment when your character does nothing useful even when he can, and even moreso when you act like you know everything about how to play a character."
I Love/Hate AoO: The guy/girl who complains (read yells in frustration) when enemies get attacks of opportunity on their character. Then states in the most obnoxious way possible if his/her character gets an attack of opportunity.
DM: The kobold gets an AoO on you since you moved by its square.
PC:
I HATE AoOs DM: It misses. :rolleye2:
DM: *moves kobold piece infront of player*
PC: AoO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!! WHAT NOW????!!!!!!! YEAAAAAH!!!!!!! TAKE THAT!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DM: :rolleye2:
(I have both these players)
Thurbane: Also easy to deal with. Take him aside and say "look, you have two options: stop sucking and stop trying to tell everyone how they should play, or get out. It's killing everyone's enjoyment when your character does nothing useful even when he can, and even moreso when you act like you know everything about how to play a character."
Unfortunately easier said than done.
1. We have a pretty small group, and losing a player would be quite detrimental, even if he does play characters that are, in general, useless. Even useless characters divide the attacks from the enemy, I suppose...also, when he's not at a game, he lets one of the other players run his character - sometimes myself. His character can be quite useful then. :P
2. He is one of my oldest friends who I have known for over 20 years, and the D&D game is one of the few times I get to see him, now he has his own family with three kids.
The Wannabe-DM: this player continually undermines the DM, accusing him of bad decisions, running a shoddy campaign, and generally doing a poor job of DMing. Sometimes, this is just out of pettiness, but more often than not it's from a deepseated sense of self superiority: i.e. they could do it better. When this player is offered a chance to DM, one of three things generally happens -
1. He backs out, saying that he doesn't have the time or resources to DM, but continues to nag at the current DM anyway.
2. Has a crack at DMing, and runs the most ridiculous "Monty Haul" or killer DM campaign imaginable.
3. He does a decent job as a DM, comes to his senses, and apologizes to the other DMs he abused, after realising that DMing is HARD WORK...
#Whatever:
The Vandal. Vandals tend to either live at home, live in cramped and/or messy conditions, or both. You have to be careful with this type though, since this type can be easily misdiagnosed. Vandal behavior is typically an expression of discontent at life, and can end suddenly with personal changes.
Not to nitpick, but most people live at home (or an apartment, if you call that home)...I personally feel safer with guys who live at home, even if it is cramped and messy and they are by themselves, than with guys who live on the streets/at a shelter/at an institution...
Et Tu, Brute?: the guy who honks other players off so much (both ingame and IRL) that he consistently finds his characters dying due to the inaction (or sometimes direct action) of other players. The kind of guy who will play a rogue almost exclusively to rip off fellow players of hard earned items, then act all surprised when Emirikol the Chaotic blasts him with a lightning bolt after catching him trying to sell his Staff of Power at the local market. (We had a guy like this in our early gaming sessions - we fancifully imagined a mausoleum full of his dead characters which we had either let, or caused, to die. Some players got creative, and instead of simply killing his characters, would do neat stuff like drug him and sell him as a slave to the local river pirates).
Edward Shovelhands: not sure how widespread this one is, although I suspect minor permutations are widespread. This player once played in a module where some fabulous treasure was hidden in a grave, and is convinced that it must be a trend. This guy will stop to dig up every piece of loose earth he finds, even if he has to do it barehanded while being chased by spectres (this actually happened!).
Unfortunately easier said than done.
1. We have a pretty small group, and losing a player would be quite detrimental, even if he does play characters that are, in general, useless. Even useless characters divide the attacks from the enemy, I suppose...also, when he's not at a game, he lets one of the other players run his character - sometimes myself. His character can be quite useful then. :P
2. He is one of my oldest friends who I have known for over 20 years, and the D&D game is one of the few times I get to see him, now he has his own family with three kids.
1. Losing a player who is killing the fun of the other players is not a loss. Just tell him to stop acting like he's a better player for making crappy characters, and to please, for the love of Vecna, make a character that has a purpose. And if he can't do this, he is out of the game.
2. Just because he's a good friend doesn't mean you can't boot him from the game. Most of my friends I have tried to play D&D with, and it just didn't work out. So I don't game with them anymore. They didn't get offended, they just know that I don't want to RP with them because they either don't take the game seriously enough, or expect the game to revolve around their character, or something else.
If he really wants to play D&D with you guys, he'll accept that his high-and-mighty attitude along with worthless dirt farm characters is killing your enjoyment of the game and cut it out. If he doesn't, then find something else to do with the guy. It'd be a damn fine shame though, if he acts like he's being persecuted for playing like an invalid, though; those players usually aren't worth being friends with at all.
This player always ruins adventures, gets his party killed, loses a valuable item, ect, but not always intentionally. This player will rush into the BBEG's layer before the group comes up with a plan, lose the uber sword of god-slaying in a bar game, start a bar fight with NPCs far stronger than the group, or anything else of that nature. His usual excuse is "I'm sorry" or "Its not my fault!".
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
I'm afraid that's me. Well, not all the time, though. I have good and bad days, just like everyone else. It's just that some days, I'm too lucky. (No, not another critical attack against my enemy!)
Here's another worst player:
The Worrying Player who wants to please everyone: Worries that he/she will make the DM and the other players mad and therefore tries to please everyone. A shy person and real nice, but is scared to death when everyone looks at them for the tie-breaker vote.
The killer doesn't try to be a pain, its just that his character is capable of doing close to 120 pt.s of damage in a normal round as a level 12 fighter (human and made w/ 3ed core books).
EX: Human fighter and his friend destroy dms badguys at the end of a session in one hit. Said bad guys were 2 fire giants that were souped up. My friend was a barbarian so we each got one.
Our DM wasnt very happy all his work went down the drain in one round.
It was an anticlimatic ending to an otherwise good campain.
- fetch/carry: "Hey John, let me grab that drink for you. No problems. Hey, Im doing a Pizza run, what's your fave topping?"
- mnemonic enhancer: "Oh BTW, don't forget that Chris used up his potion of Fly last week. Also, that Ogre Mage we fought last week never used his Cone of Cold - don't forget next time we fight one to have him use it before closing for combat. On everyone but me, I mean."
- snitch: "Hey, I'm sure that Jack has a permanent -2 to saves against Turn to Stone. Yep, I guess ole Jack is a statue."
- what's mine is yours: "Hey, I've got this great Drow sourcebook you can borrow for the upcoming Underdark adventure if you want. I got the latest Ghost in the Shell DVD too, if you wanna watch it."
- downright brown nosing "Wow, that NPC Wizard that joined our group is the bomb! That's the best darn Wizard build I ever seen - and so cool, to boot"
The Clairvoyant: the guy who rushes out and buys, borrows or downloads the module so he can anticipate every twist and turn. "I walk 12 paces down the west corridor, push the 3rd stone from the left above the archway, and say the word 'Necrophagusamniosis' - do any secret doors open?" This guy will act genuinely offended if the DM decides to change the module to thwart such obvious and childish attempts. "What the hell? Check the module again, page 53, room 21, paragraph 3 - a secret door to Thingamagizzards hidden treasury is supposed to open!"
King Contrary Man: the player who predicts the outcome of an adventure, or campaign, and does everything he possibly can to make sure it does not happen. If the campaign is culminating in the 2nd coming of the Chosen One who will route the evil forces that threaten Trogdor, he will rush out with his otherwise Neutral Good character, and slaughter every firstborn infant born on the winter equinox in the Village of Brixton. Or, if he were in LotR, would nab the One Ring from Gollum just before it fell into the pit of Mount Doom and Teleport Without Error to Tom Bombadillo's house. Why? JUST TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN! He wants to see how well the DM can "wing it" when a player throws a totally unexpected and implausible spanner into the works at the most critical point in the campaign. On a lesser level, he will have been doing his best for the entire game to go the opposite direction to what the DM had hinted at through treasure maps and NPCs. "So the sage tells us that the Crown of Unearthly Power was last seen on the Great Southern Continent? Cool - I go stock up on cold weather supplies, buy some huskies and head due North. Who's with me?"
Encyclopedia Medievalia: the player who has an extensive knowledge of history, in particular Europe in the Dark and Middle ages (or at least imagines that he does). This, in and of itself, is not a bad thing - many people who play DnD have a keen interest in this topic. The problem comes when he can't seem to differentiate between the settings of the real world Europe of history, and a fantasy setting where dragons, wizards, undead and such walk the Earth. Will often scoff at various pieces of equipment and weapon with quips such as "Those weren't even invented until the 13th century!", despite being reminded on a dozen or more occasions that the setting is NOT 12th century REAL WORLD Europe. Will even debate how DnD doesn't represent a realistic fighting system compared to how people really fought "in those days", but has no problem accepting that his character can shoot lightning from his fingertips!
This type of player is better at trying to tell real players what D&D is about than he is at actually playing the game itself. As a matter of fact, this kind of player is one of the worse roleplayers you could come across for the simple fact that the reality is that he/she actually knows little to nothing about D&D other than simple things any ninny could get like: We create characters and roll dice.
The intricacies of the game escapes this know-it-all moron as he/she is too busy trying to look intelligient rather than actually shutting up and listening to people that actually know what they are talking about.
~~~
The Pontificator(a.k.a. The Mo)
This type of player is better at trying to tell real players what D&D is about than he is at actually playing the game itself. As a matter of fact, this kind of player is one of the worse roleplayers you could come across for the simple fact that the reality is that he/she actually knows little to nothing about D&D other than simple things any ninny could get like: We create characters and roll dice.
The intricacies of the game escapes this know-it-all moron as he/she is too busy trying to look intelligient rather than actually shutting up and listening to people that actually know what they are talking about. This guy comes up with some of the worse characters the game has ever seen and yet still wants to take on the role of my next worse player type; the co-DM.
Ooh. I have one of those.
The Pontificator(a.k.a. The Mo, or The Preacher)
This type of player is better at trying to tell real players what D&D is about than he is at actually playing the game itself. As a matter of fact, this kind of player is one of the worse roleplayers you could come across for the simple fact that the reality is that he/she actually knows little to nothing about D&D other than simple things any ninny could get like: We create characters and roll dice.
The intricacies of the game escapes this know-it-all moron as he/she is too busy trying to look intelligient rather than actually shutting up and listening to people that actually know what they are talking about.
~~~
I knew a guy who lived his ENTIRE LIFE like this .... say, now I know where he went!
Son of a motherless goat, I hate these people with a passion, they're the ones who scream out the name of the monster out as soon as you begin describing it. Recently, If their characters have never come across such a creature in their lives, I've began penalizing their EX, then they get all pi$$ed off about it. Sometimes you just want to stab them in the neck with your pencil.
The Monster Manual Scholar...
Son of a motherless goat, I hate these people with a passion, they're the ones who scream out the name of the monster out as soon as you begin describing it. Recently, If their characters have never come across such a creature in their lives, I've began penalizing their EX, then they get all pi$$ed off about it. Sometimes you just want to stab them in the neck with your pencil.
I had a player like that.
I ran an adventure one time where they were going to go underwater for a pirate's treasure. They fought some plant-things called 'weeded' that i had created and I got a few gripes from this person because it wasn't a monster listed in the monster manuel (I wanted to use a specific kind of monster, but I couldn't find anything similar to what I wanted in any of my four monster manuel books - so I created one.)
More gripes abound when the ghost of the dead pirate (a moderate level sorcerer) showed up. Although he whooped on them a bit, he was eventually defeated (he was brought to zero hit pionts). He showed up again after the PCs took his treasure (the reason he's a ghost) and suddenly, a bit of his anger flared up because the ghost isn't suppposed to show up again until 2d4 days has passed.
A few other life-threatening situations later, he asked me if I was a 'killer DM' because he couldn't see how they were going to survive the situation. I mean, after all, [sarcasm]there shouldn't be any life-threatening risks in the adventuring profession.[/sarcasm] Due to some dismal rolls, a phantasmal killer did get the cleric earlier (and the wizard's player wasn't able to attend the sessions at the time) but thanks to the party's primary fighter and the psychic warrior, they survived the assult from the Githyanki on their way back to port.
The cleric lost a level, but overall, they got a fat treasure horde and got out of some very tough combats with flying colors due to decent teamwork and not a small amount of skill.
... at least from the cleric, fighter, and psychic warrior. The ranger (played by the 'scholar') pretty much acted like an XP sinkhole, unfortunately.
(I was also told that he was a 'powergamer,' but his character was far from being up to par with the other players.)
This player has to pick up everything that's not nailed down and pats himself on the back for being as "MacGyver." Doesn't listen when pointed out that MacGyver is resourceful because he makes things out of very little resources.
The Unstable Chick
This one always (I mean, I know her, I'm constantly putting up with her, therefore "always" is a perfectly reasonable word ;)) looks for opportunities to become offended by anything said within her earshot, especially when not directly attacked personally. When her feelings are thus hurt, she throws a tantrum and, though never brave enough to actually confront the people she feels offended her themselves, will passive-aggressively attack those she felt harmed her by.
Example: During a game, when "on guard duty" for the night, she will attempt to slit the throats of party members who disagreed with her.
Example: During life, she will shout insulting remarks within earshot as she passes by someone she doesn't like, not giving the other person a chance to defend themselves without turning around and pushing her into a locker.
Sadly, this passive-aggressive behavior lacks any real intelligence or wit, and only serves to prove her childish, immature outlook on life. In fact, she usually tries very hard to hurt the person as much as possible with the very same cruelty "the world pushed onto her," going overboard and generally looking like a raving fool doing so. If you ever have to contact this player electronically and you happen to be one of the people who inadvertently offended her, not only will she act weak and attack you passive-aggressively but she will also make a point to pretend to put you on her "ignore list" to further her sad attempt to hurt you in retaliation for hurting her poor, brittle feelings (it's all about petty vindication with the Unstable Chick). In cases when she ever does add yet another person who disagreed with her to her "ignore list," this act only proves to others how childish she is both by publicly attacking someone with petty, witless drivel and by subsequently refusing to hear any kind of rebuttal. A class act.
The Unstable Chick also tends to speak for other people to make her point look more valid, fortifying her arguments with other baseless claims. Example: She'll accuse you of "Usually [ending] up offending enough people to be ignored/blocked in all forms of communication," despite the fact that she knows virtually nothing of interpersonal skills and couldn't validly state anything about how another person fares with said all forms of communication.
And that's how it's done!
Example: During life, she will shout insulting remarks within earshot as she passes by someone she doesn't like, not giving the other person a chance to defend themselves without turning around and pushing her into a locker.
Well, that's not really passive-aggressive so much as it is retarded. But I lol'd at "during life".
The Pontificator(a.k.a. The Mo, or The Preacher)
This type of player is better at trying to tell real players what D&D is about than he is at actually playing the game itself. As a matter of fact, this kind of player is one of the worse roleplayers you could come across for the simple fact that the reality is that he/she actually knows little to nothing about D&D other than simple things any ninny could get like: We create characters and roll dice.
The intricacies of the game escapes this know-it-all moron as he/she is too busy trying to look intelligient rather than actually shutting up and listening to people that actually know what they are talking about.
~~~
The worst specimens are the ones who have never even played. I know this. *GRINDS TEETH*
PoD "Oh crap! Three trolls!! How are we supposed to fight three at once. Damn, might as well start rolling up a new character."
Other player "Uh dude, remember we're all 10th level now? I have a flaming greatsword, the rogue has his Shortbow of Speed with the poisoned arrows, the cleric can summon fire elementals, and you have those wands of Fireball and Stoneskin. I think we'll be alright."
Bears an uncanny similarity to Marvin the android from Hitchhikers'...
Well, that's not really passive-aggressive so much as it is retarded. But I lol'd at "during life".
True. Cowardly perhaps is a better word, not passive-aggressive. I wrote that purely from experiences I remember from high school... and college... which, sadly enough, was like a repeat of high school. No partying or fun or anything, just more cliques.
Oh wells. At least finally being able to go out into the "real world" has been very enjoyable experience.
Back to topic:
Me
This kind of player needs a gimmick, or he won't feel satisfied with his role-playing efforts. Although enjoyable at first, shouting "Who wants to see a RAINBOW?" in a Richard Simmons voice as a distraction gets kinda tired after a while. Thankfully knows well enough to move on to Melf's Unicorn Arrow for the next gimmick! :D
I knew a guy who lived his ENTIRE LIFE like this .... say, now I know where he went!
By any chance was his name Mo ?
~~~
Prophet of Doom: this player is continually bemoaning cruel fate, always predicting that an encounter will be too tough and that someone, probably himself, is going to die. More often than not, blows the risk out of all proportion...
PoD "Oh crap! Three trolls!! How are we supposed to fight three at once. Damn, might as well start rolling up a new character."
Other player "Uh dude, remember we're all 10th level now? I have a flaming greatsword, the rogue has his Shortbow of Speed with the poisoned arrows, the cleric can summon fire elementals, and you have those wands of Fireball and Stoneskin. I think we'll be alright."
Bears an uncanny similarity to Marvin the android from Hitchhikers'...
I've got a player very similar to that.
He's a barbarian but as soon as I lay some damage on the party he starts to shout his prophecies of doom!
This player interrupts and makes other people rush through their non-combat interactions in order to get center stage. Once there, she'll go into painstaking detail about her outfit, appearance, body language, and then soliloquey to the NPCs for 10 minutes. If the NPCs aren't suitably impressed, she's outraged. This player is also extraordinarily surprised if her descriptive explanations of actual combat mechanics actually make her roll dice, rather than being an automatic success.
The "Hardcore" Video Gamer(a.k.a. The X-Box'er, Video Zombie, Mr. PlayStation, G4 Fanatic, and Captain N)
I'll bet that since the Eberron video game has dropped, ALOT of "hardcore video gamers" have suddenly taken an interest in Eberron. The same thing as what happened after these same video game fanatics played KoToR 1&2(Knights of the Old Republic). All of the sudden they(the "hardcore video gamers") were interested in the SWRPG. These kind of players do not stick with the game, they only like the role playing game , temporarily, due to the video games' release. They also make some of the most ridiculous characters ever; like the time a guy I knew made a red-eyed fire demon in the overly-superstitious Ravenloft campaign setting.
These players usually end up whining over certain aspects of the game which do not fit their video gaming mentality. Basically, short of having an X-Box/PlayStation/Nintendo/PC controller/keyboard in their hands they are not going to be satisfied. Why ? Simple, they are not looking for a "role playing" game, they are looking for a "video" game on paper.
The Alternative Gamer(a.k.a. The alternate system-monger)
We have all ran into this one sometime or another. Whether on the messenger, at our gaming tables, on the messageboards, or whereever else you can think of. Everyone has met the alternative gamer.
You know the guy that is always saying that system X is waaay better than the D&D system, but continues to spend X amount of hours hanging around D&D players, and the D&D message boards ? These guys come in all different forms, such as fans whom are fanatically devoted to one setting in particular, and thus have convinced themselves that this one setting is somehow not connected to the D&D system as a whole, thus they attempt to downtalk D&D.
Even better is the variant hounds that will jump on anything that is a variant from the original. Such as players that claimed Unearthed Arcana was such a gift, yes I own it, was it so much better than other D&D books ? No. Was it helpful ? Yes. Which is why I bought it. Also, the very same thing happens when promoters of other systems weasel onto the messageboards to promote their systems under the guise of "making D&D better."
What I find so funny is the fact that they claim X system is better than D&D, but hang on D&D boards more than I do. Losers, get a life, and remember, don't let these morons into your games. They will just complain about the classes, or the alignments, or the races, or the LA system, or[FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH ABOUT 30 MORE THINGS THEY WILL CLAIM THEY DISLIKE ABOUT THE D&D SYSTEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY "STILL PLAY D&D", AND YOU WILL GET MY POINT]...........
The manipulative player
I have to give this kind of player some credit for manipulating, weak-minded, pushover DMs. This guy will literally have the DM throwing out official D&D rulings because he, the manipulative player, does not like them(i.e. Due to the fact that they stifle his munchkin-ism).
For instance, I see some DMs that will complain profusely about the 3E system, not because something is inherently wrong with this system, but because their players complain about it(due to the limitations some of the rules place on their powergaming!)!
So instead of telling the player to stop whining and suck it up or hit the road; They bend, throw out rulings for these brats, and ultimately screw up the game so that one munchkin player will like them. You see it all the time, cleric classes that use psionics, elves that are 6'2 and built like Conan, PHB dwarves with wings, re-designed and broken magical weapons.
These weak DMs allow it all! Instead of telling the player that does not want to play D&D by the D&D ruleset to beat it. One thing negative that 3E has brought about is the weak-minded, beat-down DM. A good deal of DMs have no backbone. To the DMs that run firm, consistent D&D campaigns utilizing the D&D ruleset with maybe a few houserules(which compliment the ruleset, not overrule it) thrown in.....Kudos!
~~~
My nameThe Dice Gold Medalist!
Always rerolls his roll so the odds tip in his favor mostly enjoy the "Tank".
Dm:You rolled a one.
Player:Ummmm that was just a umm warm up!!
Player rolls a 6
Dm:
Player:argg
DM "OK, you ride from Tirellton to Penumbra in just over three days..."
Johnny "...excuse me, but when we travelled between these towns last time, you said it was closer to a four day trip!"
DM "...OK, then, after almost four days you arrive at the city gates. You are hailed by Rufus, the town guard..."
Johnny "...hey, the guy's name was Fergus the last time! Is this the same guy, or another guy?"
DM "*sigh* Alright, FERGUS greets you at the town gate, and escorts you to see the Mayor."
Johnny "No need Fergus, we remember they way. Left at Main Street, 3rd right into Lantern Street, 2nd left at Key Lane and then on to Grison Manor, yes?"
DM "*jaw drops" ...err, yes..."
Johnny Mnemonic: related closely to the Rules lawyer, this player instead devotes his terrabyte memory to memorizing things either the DM or other players say. He NEVER writes it down, it's all in his mind. It's good, in theory, to have someone who has such an awesome recollection of the campaign so far, but when carried to the nth degree, just becomes annoying -
DM "OK, you ride from Tirellton to Penumbra in just over three days..."
Johnny "...excuse me, but when we travelled between these towns last time, you said it was closer to a four day trip!"
DM "...OK, then, after almost four days you arrive at the city gates. You are hailed by Rufus, the town guard..."
Johnny "...hey, the guy's name was Fergus the last time! Is this the same guy, or another guy?"
DM "*sigh* Alright, FERGUS greets you at the town gate, and escorts you to see the Mayor."
Johnny "No need Fergus, we remember they way. Left at Main Street, 3rd right into Lantern Street, 2nd left at Key Lane and then on to Grison Manor, yes?"
DM "*jaw drops" ...err, yes..."
I wondered where my ex had gone ...
By any chance was his name Mo ?
~~~
No it was Ian ....
The Gravity
So named because they have to be the center, only they do it in a unique way. Remember the infamous DM Character? This person will always play one, build the campaign around their PC, and when not the DM, will attempt to do the same anyway. Not only must the game revolve around them, but the storyline and any custom ruleset as well. They'll make up their own PrC, race, and so on. While they may be very creative, they end up sending players away out of sheer frustration.
Grr...
Johnny Mnemonic: related closely to the Rules lawyer, this player instead devotes his terrabyte memory to memorizing things either the DM or other players say. He NEVER writes it down, it's all in his mind. It's good, in theory, to have someone who has such an awesome recollection of the campaign so far, but when carried to the nth degree, just becomes annoying -
DM "OK, you ride from Tirellton to Penumbra in just over three days..."
Johnny "...excuse me, but when we travelled between these towns last time, you said it was closer to a four day trip!"
DM "...OK, then, after almost four days you arrive at the city gates. You are hailed by Rufus, the town guard..."
Johnny "...hey, the guy's name was Fergus the last time! Is this the same guy, or another guy?"
DM "*sigh* Alright, FERGUS greets you at the town gate, and escorts you to see the Mayor."
Johnny "No need Fergus, we remember they way. Left at Main Street, 3rd right into Lantern Street, 2nd left at Key Lane and then on to Grison Manor, yes?"
DM "*jaw drops" ...err, yes..."
"No, reality has changed, it's now a right at Main Street. Why? Because I feel like it. Stop devoting 100% of your memory banks to remembering pointless minutia of my campaign and start remembering what your class abilities do."
"No, reality has changed
Oddly enough, that brings me to my next point...
Benny Reality: The kind of character who loves the fact that reality changes with bizare frequency. Normally, this would be a great player, but Ben here thinks that his character can alter reality at his whim.
(Note: One of my campain worlds, and one of my favorites, changes frequently, as if it is alive. Entire towns have gotten up and moved to escape a drought. Only applicable to campain worlds like mine.)
Avery: In Irish, it means "Elf King." Elf fanboy, believes anything is possible if your ears are abnormally pointed. The Avery I know (actually his real name) spent 5-10 years thinking he was an elf. (he's 13) He is known to say, "I'm an elf, so I fly across the chasm and..."
Eragon Fanboy: One of Avery's more current phases. He went out of his way to create a Dragon Rider base class, only to stuff it with mind attacks, brisinger's, and insists he rides a great wyrm dragon at lvl 1. Is known to try and talk to elf NPCs in the Aincent Language.
I have experienced all of these players, and the names are actually their first names.
the second thing happened 2 times before we lost that gaming area well my GF would game with us and under the table shekeeps on touching me (which i quite enjoyed) but she goes to far and unzips me well yeah and um we go to the back room and when we come back my shirt is inside out so yeah we both got crap for a month from the gaming group we couldnt get snacks at the same time with out getting crap
The field tester
Not exactly annoying so much as curious. When they see a new idea-be it a race, class or multi-classing idea that they haven't seen in play before, or a new feat that catches their fancy-they feel compelled to try it no matter what. The results of such attempts do tend to vary, but normally don't work the way the player had in mind originally and become bland, one trick ponies.
Does not divert from one aspect of gameplay, e.g A character who would not leave the bustling city to go do some REAL adventuring in a dungeon until he had broken into every house, robbed the castle treasury, and been chased through the city by angry neighbours/guards at least twice.
Same thing with character who
a) checks for traps every 5 feet
b) slaughters everything (inlcuding but not limited to: other PCs, NPCs who were obviously important to the storyline)
c) who doesn't trust ANYONE, this isn't too bad in itself, it can make an interesting character, but gets kind of annoying when they cast detect thoughts/evil/good/chaos/law (or any combination of the five) on every livng creature
A personal sin:
The field tester
Not exactly annoying so much as curious. When they see a new idea-be it a race, class or multi-classing idea that they haven't seen in play before, or a new feat that catches their fancy-they feel compelled to try it no matter what. The results of such attempts do tend to vary, but normally don't work the way the player had in mind originally and become bland, one trick ponies.
*raises hand* :embarrass yep, that one's me.
its story time people to show you i have honestly 2 worst player both either one of a kind or ultra mega super rare this all takes place in a cosignment which my freinds mother owned and the gaming group worked in well we were allowed to play in the buuilding at night and we are sitting there using a fold out table we usually set up out side to show off mercendice well my freind is leaning in the antiquie chair righ behind him is a display case full of glass mostly small glass knick knacks and well my buddy is whereing his super thick army coaat which we got free from the shop we are gaming at and well the very old chairs back legs break off and he breaks the glass in hte case and alot of the items yeah well we were never allowed to game there again and my freind had to pay 370 dollars to replace the stuff it was horrible lucky he had that coat on or he could have died still my best freind
the second thing happened 2 times before we lost that gaming area well my GF would game with us and under the table shekeeps on touching me (which i quite enjoyed) but she goes to far and unzips me well yeah and um we go to the back room and when we come back my shirt is inside out so yeah we both got crap for a month from the gaming group we couldnt get snacks at the same time with out getting crap
Please use a periods and commas. I almost had an aneurism trying to read that.
In your second story are you nominating yourself or your girlfriend? Personally I would put your GF on the all time BEST Players to have in game list.
Personally I would put your GF on the all time BEST Players to have in game list.
I'd buy that for a dollar! :D
Wehn teh pesron doesnt no hoew too tye.p Tshi si tofen dneo tlae ta nhigt, ro eenv ni teh mdidle of hte ady. Tyhe hvea neevr harde of a lspel ecchker, dan otefn rea ouarnd teh geas of 10-14. I'm no liengsh poffersor, but it still ticks me off when people can't type right.
(translation below)
When the person doesn't know how to type. This is often done late at night, or even in the middle of the day. They have never heard of a spell checker, and often are around the ages of 10-14. I'm no english proffesor, but it still ticks me off when people can't type right.
When the person doesn't know how to type. This is often done late at night, or even in the middle of the day. They have never heard of a spell checker, and often are around the ages of 10-14. I'm no english proffesor, but it still ticks me off when people can't type right.
Kind of amusing to note: it's spelled professor
the second thing happened 2 times before we lost that gaming area well my GF would game with us and under the table shekeeps on touching me (which i quite enjoyed) but she goes to far and unzips me well yeah and um we go to the back room and when we come back my shirt is inside out so yeah we both got crap for a month from the gaming group we couldnt get snacks at the same time with out getting crap
And exactly why would we want to know this ? Perhaps she should have taken you into the backroom and presented you with a spellchecker ?
Next up we have....
The Tech Junky(a.k.a. The digital loser)
This guy/girl is closely related to the video gamer type expounded upon above in that he/she has no real life and everything that he/she does must be in some way related to a computer.
These are the players that come to games asking you if they need a certain dice program to roll a 20-sider. These dorks even show up with laptops instead of a PHB. This kind of gamer will always try to hit on the other sex at the game because he/she has no real-life interaction with a living being. You will also find this person spending tons of dollars on character design programs rather than picking up a piece of paper and using his/her imagination. This kind of player was usually the dork, not geek, when he/she was school-age and thus hid away by talking to their "friends", online right after having his/her lunch money taken.
The sad thing is this person does not know even one flesh and blood being except for the poor guy that is delivering their pizza, since sitting online, and doing everything online, has got them to the point where the only people they trust are fellow Yahoo users; and thus are seriously anti-social losers. This kind of player usually has bad eyesight too due to having developed computer vision syndrome from sitting online 24 hours/7 days a week.
~~~
999: The appointment man.
this person has appointments buffering every minute of the session. he will have a dentist visit beforehand, making him 20 minutes late, a doctor's visit afterwords, making him leave 20 minutes early, and he will have to take his cat to the vet in the middle of the game. he will frequently live very close, but all the people will be an hour away.
Playing with one of these right now.
Kind of amusing to note: it's spelled professor
Never said I was a perfect speller. :D
Broken! This is the character who will constantly complain about the power levels of encounters, traps, and on and on. The thing is, he spends most of his time carping on how "broken" a certain PC is, and whines that he is getting shown up constantly. Weapon Focus/Weapon Specialization tree Fighter Power Attacking? Broken! Natural Spell using Druid? Broken! Monk that can actually deal damage with a Flurry and take a full attack without crumpling? Broken!
A character who has been playing 3rd Ed since its inception, and clearly knows the rules. However, close inspection of his character sheet reveals him to be wearing three different sets of armor at the same time, stacking their armor bonuses while not applying the check penalties or arcane spell failure.
Also is wielding weapons far too powerful for his point along the XP railroad (Our "The Sam" was a 6th level Cleric using a mace with a combined +13 bonus).
"The Sam" knows all spells in the PHB and the Spell Compendium, regardless of rules limiting spells known. Also does not bother to keep track of which spells being cast, effectively getting him infinite spells per day.
And the reason we didn't catch him until after the session? Because he didn't do anything but hang back and cast. Needless to say, he doesn't play with us anymore.
The Dice...oh holy heck, man, stop picking them up!
We have one of these in our group--he intentionally uses a mottled, dark d20 that is difficult to see the results of from across the table. One he has rolled--regardless of what he gets--he immediately snatches the dice off the table and proclaims "I think I hit," even if he doesn't know the monster's AC. Scores a good chunk of critical rolls.
The Cliché Melodramatic
One of our games is rife with this chap--has a cliché character with a tortured past. In this case, about six pages of tortured past. Continuously bemoans his lot in life and how he came to adventure along with rabble such as this, and acts as though detect thoughts is permenantly active.
The Lech
Wants to get with every girl in the game--period. Will often try to seduce female monsters as well.
1: cant decide on what character to make
2: cant roleplay for ****
3:names ogre warriors Shrek.....
4:argues with the dm about who gets what loot and the other players about the same thing
5:always tries to outdue the otherplayers, regardless of alignment, RP, or situation, needs to be the best player
ive played with this all in one, thats why he doesent come to the parties every friday!
And exactly why would we want to know this ? Perhaps she should have taken you into the backroom and presented you with a spellchecker ?
Next up we have....
The Tech Junky(a.k.a. The digital loser)
This guy/girl is closely related to the video gamer type expounded upon above in that he/she has no real life and everything that he/she does must be in some way related to a computer.
These are the players that come to games asking you if they need a certain dice program to roll a 20-sider. These dorks even show up with laptops instead of a PHB. This kind of gamer will always try to hit on the other sex at the game because he/she has no real-life interaction with a living being. You will also find this person spending tons of dollars on character design programs rather than picking up a piece of paper and using his/her imagination. This kind of player was usually the dork, not geek, when he/she was school-age and thus hid away by talking to their "friends", online right after having his/her lunch money taken.
The sad thing is this person does not know even one flesh and blood being except for the poor guy that is delivering their pizza, since sitting online, and doing everything online, has got them to the point where the only people they trust are fellow Yahoo users; and thus are seriously anti-social losers. This kind of player usually has bad eyesight too due to having developed computer vision syndrome from sitting online 24 hours/7 days a week.
~~~
omg.............holy crap i have alot of those symptomes, omfg im screwd dude you just depressed me A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN I WAS!!!!!!!!!!!
And for a bad player how about the "Hey, his back is turned! KNIFE HIM! TAKE HIS WEALTH!!!" backstabber? He's kind of a pain.
"The Fear" Needlessly cautious character, doesn't realize that by being so risk adverse he is actually endangering himself and the party. Spends and inordinate amount of money on defense instead of offense, plays scares, etc.
Broken! This is the character who will constantly complain about the power levels of encounters, traps, and on and on. The thing is, he spends most of his time carping on how "broken" a certain PC is, and whines that he is getting shown up constantly. Weapon Focus/Weapon Specialization tree Fighter Power Attacking? Broken! Natural Spell using Druid? Broken! Monk that can actually deal damage with a Flurry and take a full attack without crumpling? Broken!
A close cousin of the Broken is the Psionics Sucks and his twin Psionics is Overpowered.
The first one of plays a psion with 12 int, uses all of his pp up on the first encounter of the day, and then tries to fight in melee with a spear.
His twin plays a wizard with the same int, does the same crap, and then sees a psionic character that's rp'd and made pretty well. He then begins to rant about how broken psionics is.
Multi-tasker - Does not believe in just playing the game, rather they would like to do it all at the expense of the other players. Can't sit still and must watch t.v. while playing as well as cooking/eating/playing cards.
Insane AC Man/Woman - Does not concern themselves with focusing on battle tactics or relying on their str's to pull through in combat. They don't even concentrate on getting that crazy good weapon, instead they boost their AC through any means possible to insane levels to make them untouchable and whine when touch attacks are deployed against them.
Multiple Personality - Can't just have one character, they want two, three...four or even five. One character is obviously the ring leader with the others essentially just becoming bags of holding or human shields when neccessary.
The Mule - Purchases everything in the equipment guide and ignores the weight listing for each item. Figures his 14 str will be enough and can't understand why the DM asks him to explain just exactly how he is going to catapult himself across the 14 foot gap of a chasm while he is carrying 1300 gold coins, a battle-axe, longbow with 100 arrows and platemail.
The *Poof* Suddenly I'm here but wasn't here just two seconds ago when there wasn't nothing interesting happening here Guy/Girl - You and your teammates decide to hang around the tavern to question the patrons while your fighter/thief/mage goes off to purchase/steal/borrow that uber weapon of destruction realising this is a roleplaying scene that they just simply can not partake in. When suddenly, the patron you are questioning bursts into anger pulls a weapon and calls forth for his friends to attack, suddenly your absent party member reappears (magically no doubt) just in time to catch the first round of combat. Uses phrases when confronted by the DM - "Yes I know but I said I was hurrying right back, you heard me say it"
Love the list going, I can just about say I recognise alot of these players in some of my previous games
Retired DM - Worst than a rules lawyer in many cases as they have DM'd and often don't agree with the current DM's decisions. Uses phrases like, "I wouldn't allow that in my campaign" or "Roll for a spot check" when clearly it isn't their campaign.
... guilty ...
The Oblivious PC Felon: Similar to the above, but only in game. The guy who appears normal but who gets ticked off at some NPC, burns his house down with him in it at high noon with a street full of witnesses while dancing around said house singing a song about his revenge and giving the crowd the finger, and then has the nerve to be upset when the town guard arrests him.
The Compulsive Paranoid Murderer: The guy who tries to killl ANY NPC you introduce because they might just possibly be some sort of shapeshifter hellbent on destroying the party. Or who siezes on background fluff to start fights:
DM: Its a crowded market street. There are people of all races intermingling with the smells of exotic spices. A small dog whines plaintifully at a nearby food vendor..
Player: OMG!! OMG we HAVE to kill that dog!!! The DM actually mentioned it instead of lumping it in the background with the faceless crowd!! AAAAIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
DM: Dude, its a dog...
Player: Im roilling initiative!! Im rolling intiative!!!! I have a 20!! Beat that Mr. DM man!!
And then he gets upset when its just a dog because you made it that way to purposefull foil him when hes on to your evil schemes.
The Amnesiac: The guy who has no idea what his own stats or abilities are even though its taken him an agonizing 8 hours to make his character.
DM: Roll initiative
Player: Where is that at?
DM: The same place its always been on your character sheet when you've asked the last EIGHT THOUSAND TIMES!!!
Player: Umm...what is my initiative modifier??
DM: Its +4! It was +4 before, its +4 today, it will continue to be +4 in the future! We've had this conversation every single combat why cant you remember?
The Self Defeater: The guy who refuses to use his character to its potential for some reason. Like the Hexblade who wont use his Curse ability because it has a Saving Throw and he just knows the monsters will make their save so why bother?
Forgot feats: This player is somewhat the opposite, and will go through half a campaign and several levels without selecting new feats. When this is finally discovered and the problem finally fixed, his tactical prowess takes full advantage of his new feat choices and leaves the DM wondering why he had to tell the player about it!
The one in my group was a great player and tactical thinker when it came to combat. Dispite this oversite.
"The Fear" Needlessly cautious character, doesn't realize that by being so risk adverse he is actually endangering himself and the party. Spends and inordinate amount of money on defense instead of offense, plays scares, etc.
That doesn't sound like The Fear at all!
"Relax, I was joking!"
Always makes the dumbest jokes and arguments simply to get a rise out of someone. When confronted about his rampant idiocy or any attempt to discuss his "thoughts" using intelligence, he attempts to mitigate everything by saying "I was just joking, jeez!" Usually ends up offending enough people to be ignored/blocked in all forms of communication and ejected from any game not involving alcohol.
Cute, but you were incorrect to post this. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of reasons why. :D
1.) I wasn't trying to get a rise out of anyone. In fact, I was attempting to relieve the tension surrounded the argument relevant at the time. Okay, it failed and backfired, I admitted it. The guy didn't understand my intent and I explained it. You don't hold the truth on this matter.
1a.) Furthermore, how is your post above NOT an attempt at getting a rise out of me? I think there's a word for this... but... well, jeez, "hypocrisy" doesn't do it justice. Additionally, how does counter-attacking my "attack" prove anything? If you want to show me how I should post, write a tactful retort minus all the placed venom.
2.) "Rampart idiocy," huh? So you decided to base your evidence on a misinterpretation of a single post I made that in no way reflects the whole of my being? Also see exhibit 1a.
3.) What left was there to discuss? I was joking, whether you believe it or not. See exhibit 1.
4.) Posting something like this and then announcing you're "ignoring" me is cowardly, if you really did ignore me. If you didn't really ignore me, then disregard this statement and insert "How does it feel to be a... liar? With pants constantly on fire?" in its place (Yes, I'm aware of the irony of this entire statement
).And here's what gets me... either way you look at it, you're wrong!
In case one, going on the truth, which is the pure fact that I was joking to relieve some of the tension during that argument (yes, I know it backfired), you attacked me personally and baselessly. This does not speak well of you.
On the other hand, going on your false premises where I wasn't kidding and you're calling me out for backing down, you would actually prove my premise that you assumed was serious:
You're expecting anything less than hostility from a group of anonymous people who can pretty much do as they please and WILL.
If I were you I'd just walk away; certain people are obviously not taking your arguments seriously and they're only going to act less human and sink lower the more you press it.
By acting in a churlish manner, you actually proved my faux-point by exemplifying the very hyperbole in this self-quote! I mean... is that what you intended to do? If so, then maybe I'm not giving you enough credit... maybe you're an expert at some sort of self-satirical form of literary art where such is a beautiful lipid pool of---
See now? See how you're wrong? THIS is me practicing rampart idiocy. Everything else was tomfoolery. Get your terms right. I'll now accept the gold for winning the Special Olympics that is arguing over the internet.
Oh, and let me guess. Your rebuttal will be something like, "but I was just joking!" Let's clear this up: I actually was, you weren't. Please, save us from the obvious punchline.
7. The 'Twins' who ALWAYS work together
This is actually two people who always, no mater what game, are butt brothers. They always says and do and mimic each other. These guys will make similar and or complementary characters and will always be the best of friends in game.
I'm afraid I do not understand. Aren't that players supposed to work together, and make characters that support each other's strengths and weaknesses?
I like how since I use your post (which was a lesser example of the trait I so dislike), you felt the need to go on a tirade. And about a post that I can't even see in the topic review, no less! In any case, you don't even get a medal. Using "you're just wrong!" in any post trying to prove such a point grants you auto-failure.
I'm afraid I do not understand. Aren't that players supposed to work together, and make characters that support each other's strengths and weaknesses?
No ... I have seen this. These guys really play every game as brothers ,companions, twins, whatever - their backgrounds have them as bosom pals for years, they are inseperable. If one gets into trouble the other always backs them up (this can be bad if they decide to pick a fight with another party member). It works the first time, but then it gets wearing ... you start to wish that they would take a different character just ONCE. Because they alwasy take the same characters - two dwarf fighters, two elf rangers, or a paladin and a cleric, or a wizard and a thief ... ALWAYS .....
Call the police!
I like how you pretend that you couldn't have seen how that might look like a public, personal slam. I'll make it terse, if you prefer it that way: I felt I should use my right to defend myself against your slurs. I did nothing to personally attack you, yet you felt you had to act lesser by attacking me.
And about a post that I can't even see in the topic review, no less!
The topic review is irrelevant to your insults and my rebuttal. Sorry, my argument ain't swiss cheese just because you drew the holes on it!
In any case, you don't even get a medal.
I don't? Considering the context of what's needed to win the medal, you're telling me I wasn't acting like a big enough idiot for it? Um... thank you? ;)
Using "you're just wrong!" in any post trying to prove such a point grants you auto-failure.
Ha! I never said flatly, "you're just wrong!" Now you're resorting to putting words in other people's mouth to argue? I actually pointed out how you were wrong by punching holes in your insults and arguments.
Back on topic:
#XX: The betrayer. This guy never lasts long in a group but he always leaves a black mark on everyone's record. The guy who wants to cast a loud ghost sound whenever the party is trying to sneak past a group of very dangerous monsters. Just so he can watch them all die.
Not related to 101 worst players. Take your personal argument elsewhere.
Seconded.
Back on topic:
#XX: The betrayer. This guy never lasts long in a group but he always leaves a black mark on everyone's record. The guy who wants to cast a loud ghost sound whenever the party is trying to sneak past a group of very dangerous monsters. Just so he can watch them all die.
We had one of these in my group...in his case it was a bard who loudly strummed his lute "for dramatic effect" while we were sneaking up on some bugbear guards. :D
I like how since I use your post (which was a lesser example of the trait I so dislike), you felt the need to go on a tirade.
I like how you pretend that you couldn't have seen how that might look like a public, personal slam. I'll make it terse, if you prefer it that way: I felt I should use my right to defend myself against your slurs. I did nothing to personally attack you, yet you felt you had to act lesser by attacking me.
And about a post that I can't even see in the topic review, no less!
The topic review is irrelevant to your insults and my rebuttal. Sorry, my argument ain't swiss cheese just because you drew the holes on it!
In any case, you don't even get a medal.
I don't? Considering the context of what's needed to win the medal, you're telling me I wasn't acting like a big enough idiot for it? Um... thank you? ;)
Using "you're just wrong!" in any post trying to prove such a point grants you auto-failure.
Ha! I never said flatly, "you're just wrong!" Now you're resorting to putting words in other people's mouth to argue? I actually pointed out how you were wrong by punching holes in your insults and arguments.
I will report this petty arguement and hopefully the moderators will remove it. The quote in my signature hits this nail right on the head:
"People think debating online and in-person makes you look smart. In all reality a debate is nothing more than an arguement. People that like to argue lack one vital ingredient of being truly intelligient ; common sense ."
The False Prophet
This kind of player usually tries to force their own ideas into "someone else's" campaign. For instance, I once had a player whom would sit online for numerous hours, plagiarize languages, and subsequently present various terms from these same languages as something he made up(i.e. He would take words, change what the word means, then say he made the word up).
Insanity is common these days so that did not really bother me, whatever(my gaming group and I just laughed at the poor guy). However, the problem came about when he tried to introduce these plagiarized/altered terms into "my campaign(s)."
Seriously, as an example, he would have "elven, common, and Draconic" on his character sheet, but then try to make-up a name from some stolen term(yet give the name his own homemade meaning), then insert it into my campaign!
Observe: Everyone knows that "Si" means "yes" in Spanish right ? Well, this guy would take "Si" and say it means "eighteen" then name his character "Si' Mars" and subsequently tell the group it means "The eighteenth man on Mars."
Problem 1: "Si" means "yes", not "eighteen." I could see if he really did invent the word, and the spanish-speaking peoples stole it from HIM, but that is not the case.
Problem 2: The Spanish language does not exist in my campaign, nor does his homemade, plagiarized language. I could see if he made it up in game but he is walking around claiming that a Dinar(A form of currency) is a hidden ethereal sun which he calls a Su'un. Yes, he says this kind of stuff.
Problem 3: Campaigns, whether homemade or settings, already have set languages. Players cannot just come along with their own homemade languages(unless they find a way to create the language in-game), and subsequently force them into YOUR world!
Unfortunately false prophets tend to want to spread their self-created beliefs, no matter how insane. So if they have to use your ROLE PLAYING GAME to do it, they will.
~~~
Mister Gore is the guy that holds up the game purely by his own disgusting behavior - mainly sprung from boredom and/or low attention span. The specimen I have in my group did the following
*Picks up d20*
*throws it in his beer*
*guzzles half the glass*
*spits out the die*
*examens it*
"look, nat. 20!"
Pre 3.0 LBs do. Many older players went several shades of pale when they finally figured out LBs can no longer zap someone twice...
Fireball and Lightning bolt used to be equal.
Now that LB cannot bounce the only 3rd level aoe spell I see people take is fireball.
That and I see alot of archmages make their own "fireball" simple by changing fireball to deal lightning.
mr. Gore
Mister Gore is the guy that holds up the game purely by his own disgusting behavior - mainly sprung from boredom and/or low attention span. The specimen I have in my group did the following
*Picks up d20*
*throws it in his beer*
*guzzles half the glass*
*spits out the die*
*examens it*
"look, nat. 20!"
Have someone roll his dice in laxatives before you start. :D
Ha! I never said flatly, "you're just wrong!" Now you're resorting to putting words in other people's mouth to argue? I actually pointed out how you were wrong by punching holes in your insults and arguments.
"either way you look at it you're wrong!" Sound familiar? It should. But don't worry, kitten; I'm sure in your own little world, you win all the arguments, have a supermodel girlfriend, drive a mercedes, and always roll the maximum on a dX.
You seem to be another one of my "favorite" player types: Captain Argument
This guy will never drop an argument, no matter how small or insignificant. He will badger the offending player(s)/DM until they concede whatever "point" he was attempting to make, then continue to rail on about it. He only stops when the other players move the game somewhere else and don't tell him.
"either way you look at it you're wrong!" Sound familiar? It should. But don't worry, kitten; I'm sure in your own little world, you win all the arguments, have a supermodel girlfriend, drive a mercedes, and always roll the maximum on a dX.
Captain Argument
This guy will never drop an argument, no matter how small or insignificant. He will badger the offending player(s)/DM until they concede whatever "point" he was attempting to make, then continue to rail on about it. He only stops when the other players move the game somewhere else and don't tell him.
And his cousin, the hypocrit. Says how bad something is, then they do said thing. See above quote for an example.
The Lech
Wants to get with every girl in the game--period. Will often try to seduce female monsters as well.
Have him encounter a few hags that are "interested". That should cure him.
Have someone roll his dice in laxatives before you start. :D
Oooh Nice!
I'm going to ask this nicely since I'm not involved, but please stop the incessant bickering. It would be nice to not see the thread locked because of all the arguing over nothing of any real significance.
Oooh Nice!
Thanks. The same thing works with people who like to eat like crazy.
I'm going to ask this nicely since I'm not involved, but please stop the incessant bickering. It would be nice to not see the thread locked because of all the arguing over nothing of any real significance.
I highly suggest that you follow the above. Fair warning to all involved.
If something happens to this guy, no matter how trivial, he will pick an even more trivial aspect of it and devote all his attntion to it, loudly announcing his findings regardless of what everyone else may be doing at the time. For example, if his character is ill, he might spend half the session rolling a die to find out what color his puke is. "Hey, everybody! BLUE!" ..."ORANGE!" ..."PUR-"*slap*
To Mr. Condescending, you are a child: ignorant and easily dismissible. What he says is correct and that's the end of the line. Arguing with him won't work because he's beyond reason. Fighting him won't work because you had to resort to fisticuffs to beat him. Extremely presumptious but is not afraid to let you know that you're crossing his boundaries.
Most likely a DM.
Halflings and gnomes. Simply because they make for very un-serious characters unless a very talented person is the player. My experience is that those who want to play a gnome or halfling want World of Warcraft style DnD and that will never happen with me (perhaps I am the worst player for saying so?).
Vampires. With a DM who watches Buffy (Angel, Blade etc. etc.) you don't want vampire-players...
This person has no knowledge of anything around him. In DnD terms he has no ranks in knowledge local. He doesn't know anything about current culture, an example might be that the person does not know who Beyoncé is. His inability to pick up on information also includes peoples opinions around him. He may join in on conversations and make people unconfortable by using outdated information to disagree with what the group agrees upon.
Mr. Condescending: ... is very intelligent and not afraid to let you know. Mr. Condescending only knows one way to talk to people and that's by talking down to people. He replies to things said to him with, "What's your point?" and will shrug, sigh and roll his eyes when you're talking to him. Favorite phrase: "Anyway..." or the variant "Anyhow..."
To Mr. Condescending, you are a child: ignorant and easily dismissible. What he says is correct and that's the end of the line. Arguing with him won't work because he's beyond reason. Fighting him won't work because you had to resort to fisticuffs to beat him. Extremely presumptious but is not afraid to let you know that you're crossing his boundaries.
Most likely a DM.
You forgot that his characters are also all proffesors(sp?) of some sort with highest points in int.
the person does not know who Beyoncé is.
Never heard of that person.
to Radijs, green_yawgmoth, LordofIllusions, and getgoldcardsoul -
I'm going to ask this nicely since I'm not involved, but please stop the incessant bickering. It would be nice to not see the thread locked because of all the arguing over nothing of any real significance.
Perhaps you should take your own advice, as your post is only adding to the arguement between the two. If you read my post above, I am the one whom reported the bickering between the posters(which is much more helpful than playing moderator), as evidenced by my post above; there is no arguement on my behalf.
@King Bulba,
What does Beyonce have to do with D&D ? LoL! I can kind of see your point about the knowledge local skill though.
~~~
#121 the uberlord in the party.
he's the one that is about 3 lvl's higher then the rest of the party, because
This does not happen, I make sure of it. One of our players has greater teleport and did this. Then was ****** when he didn't get more xp than everyone else.
everyone gets same exp.
Extremists: the people who believe that the rules are completely law, everything is either black or white with no gray, and no matter what will always try and make it so to the other players, and even the DM. For the extremists of good alignments, I think of it as the paladin complex, because there is too little gray area on right and wrong, law and chaos, good and evil, in both the stereotypical paladin's mind and the mind of the extremist.
Reminds me of the Styx song "Heavy Metal Poisoning". Everything is black and white, you are wrong and we are right...
"Oh... You're playing D&D? Can I join? I want to roll up a !"
Typically, an uninvited sits through one game, never introduces themself, and argues w/ the DM at least 7 times before the game session is over. I have one player in my group who is the "Annoying Uninvited" Killer!
#XXX-a: The Sorta-Invited, Just Not by the DM
"Hey, said you were having a game. Mind if I join?"
#XXX-b: The Responsible for the Sorta-Invited
"I know we already have 8 people in the group, but they were interested, so I told them it was ok."
#XXX-c: The Uninviter
A reverse of the previous concepts: Constantly questions the GM as to WHY they invited THAT person. Makes new players feel unwelcome/hated.
This player wanders from game to game whining about the house rules DMs place within their games. Anytime he or she feels that the regular players/DM is getting tired of their whining they hurry up and leave the group before they have to face the embarassment of getting bounced. They somehow can feel the boot coming.
This is also the joker that falsely believes there are more DMs than players and thus thinks he or she is proving a point by wandering from game to game acting like a brat. You can usually identify this kind of player by their bad attitudes towards rules, lack of knowledge about D&D(since they never get to play because they go from game to game), and the thinning soles on their shoes due to all of the walking, from game to game, they do as opposed to ever really gaming.
~~~
His next character was a fighter which he proptly killed by leaving the party behind and going on a dungeon crawl with some random NPC's he met in a tavern, after getting to about the 4th lvl of the dungeon, he decided blowing a whistle would be the perfect way to scare some rats on the other side of a door, he forgot that they had cleared a very narrow path down and killed very little, needless to say they got swarmed (the NPCs lasted longer than he did)
His final character was a female paladin (hes a guy in rl) who was obcessed with the color pink..
im talking about pink everything; armor, weaps and ANIMALS! (a carir pigeon) the name of his character was even the word for pink in french, it was totally rediculous and some of the players made fun of him constantly for the whole pink thing, he would justify the most random things by saying it was wwhat his character would do, eventually took all his stuff (so we couldnt sell it) and jumped into the sea.
he would interupt combat (on 1 players round in particular) to ask about random stuff. (eg 'what's a (insert common adventuring item here such as wagon, bed roll etc)
towards the end he would make a character and change the class during creation to get better stat rolls on the character generator (redblade), the DM put a stop to this really fast
This player has obviously made some sort of demonic pact... or is just, you know, unlucky. his stats are excellent by most standards (rolled in front of both group & DM at that), and when he hits, things tend to fall. hard. can roll multiple 20's per night and succeed on the confirmation checks. also tends to roll well on skill and saves.
unfortunately the infernal pact often causes his rolls to come belly up at the worse possible time. this is rarely lethal for DD, but can cause misfortune for the people around him.
depending on how much the DM likes critical miss charts and other similar fun stuff, this guy proves lethal to both sides of the DM's screen and you can't blame him for it for other then horrible luck.
currently, i am a dice demon.
‘Wasn’t there a bowl of peanuts here a minute ago?’
currently, i am a dice demon.
I also am a Dice-Demon. My average roll is 10... but I roll a 20 or a 1 on every other consecutive roll... Unfortunately, I only roll 20's on trivial things like jump checks or knowledge skills.
Switching to a new pack of dice helps for a time... but soon I taint the dice and I start rolling only 20's and 1's again.
#XXX-b: The Responsible for the Sorta-Invited
"I know we already have 8 people in the group, but they were interested, so I told them it was ok."
Augh!!! That was the WORST thing EVER. The player that was sorta-invited was completely new to the rules, but that wasn't the problem. But adding another player to a perfect group of four throws off all of the balancing that I had done to make the game the absolutely correct Challenge Rating. Yargh.
###: The "Strategic Genius"
A friend of mine has played multiple characters that have, on as many occasions as possible, stuck themselves into a barrel and rolled into danger.
In one campaign, he rolled into the enemy's base and was "convinced" to do something he never actually revealed, and then he killed the whole party (but thats a bit unrelated, tho i was really mad).
In another campaign, we came up to a waterfall that seemed black at the bottom. He decided to put himself into a barrel and jump in. After the rest of us trying to urge him against it, and him doing it anyway, he guilted me into jumping in after him. Thank goodness I had a Potion of Swimming in my pack (which I was actually going to sell when we got to town, because we were in the desert) I barely managed to swim back but couldn't reach him in time. And it really ruined the session too, none of us really felt like playing after that.
I also am a Dice-Demon. My average roll is 10... but I roll a 20 or a 1 on every other consecutive roll... Unfortunately, I only roll 20's on trivial things like jump checks or knowledge skills.
Switching to a new pack of dice helps for a time... but soon I taint the dice and I start rolling only 20's and 1's again.
Haha. Same for me, I pick dice I'm going to use for the night. I will do like 10 test rolls on multiple d20's. If I get more than 3 rolls (out of 10 mind you) of a 1 on a single dice, I don't use it. (Which happens often)
what really stinks is that the dice used on last sunday's game (read the best lines ever to see what happed due to my crit ones) rolled great when deciding on who would play first round in multiplayer magic all week.. i was rolling 15+ on average... then came the session... oh the funny funny horror of being turned into a bunny-man due to a natural one on UMD and getting a misfire... good times.
The guy(or girl) who turns everything said by the DM or fellow players into a sexual joke. Doesnt matter how obscure it is they'll say it.
#70 Bard who thinks he's a Barbarian (and Visa Versa)
This is the person who charges to the front of the battle with a str and con score of 8, ignoring the protests of his companions.
Also comparable to the barbarian trying to diplomasize with a Charisma of 6, refusing to let the skill/charisma oriented pcs have a chance at it. Usually screwing up whatever they were trying to do.
Loves making characters, and has about 10-15 ready to go at any given time. Except for their equipment. Would rather roll up a new character than actually finish statting-out the one he's taking for the current game that's about to start.
This guy only wants the solo adventure. His character needs to do this or his character needs to do that. Without the direction from the DM. I'll give an example:
About 5 of us were in a group in a underground temple. I was a rogue, Me Me was one of the three fighters. We came across a hallway that went shooting off of the main corridor. I searched for traps, secret doors, the whole nine yards. Nothing. Our information basically told us to keep going down the main tunnel. We, as a group, decided to keep going. That wasn't good enough for Me Me. He decided he was going to go down the off shoot tunnel. The DM pretty much "warned" him that going down a dark tunnel, in an underground temple, without the rogue was not the healthiest thing to do. Me Me didn't care. He marched down that hallway like it was in his own castle. The DM just said you keep heading straight and don't see anything. After game time of an hour the DM got visibly fed up and said, "You feel a pin prick at the base of your neck. Save vs fortitude." Me Me rolls a 2 with a mod of 4. The DM looks him dead in the eye and says "You don't feel anything out of the ordinary."
All of us look at each other and think RUN BACK!! No. Not Me Me. He says, "I must have saved. I don't feel anything." He keeps going down the corridor. After another hour of game time the DM says,"You feel your joints aching and your breath is getting heavier and heavier." Me Me says "I must be coming to the end!!". He comes into this circular room and realizes his body doesn't move like it is supposed to. The DM says,"The last thing you see before blackness is your reflection in a mirror on the wall. You have aged 70 years. Then you drop dead."
And almost as bad, the Chronic Farter.:surrender
You see their posts here all the time. Spouting silly stuff like the following:
1. Why is the DMPC running the game???!!!
2. There will be no DMs in 4th edition!
3. Maybe in 4th edition the players can physically fight the DM.
4. Bad, bad, bad DM!
5. Players rule, DMs are fools.
6. We have heard nothing about a 4E but lets post about it anyway!
Ok, ok the last four I invented but it only serves to show how retarded the majority of the comments made by the Rebel without a cause are. These are the players who are really not players because they spend most of their time argueing here on the Wizards boards and inventing fictitious 4E threads rather than doing what a real player does and enjoy the game by playing it.
You can usually identify the anti-DM players by his irrational rants and if you see them they have beady little eyes and unkept facial hair with a rather tangy smell. Beware I hear they are rabid.
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1. Why is the DMPC running the game???!!!
I'll buy even the invented items, but I disagree with you on this one (and will leave any related discussion for a separate and relevant thread).
This DM has heard the term DMPC and hasn't twigged that the original meaning is "NPC in the party". He thinks it means the DM can have a PC the same as everybody else, right? Cos DMs are players too!
The DMPC proceeds to bend or break all the rules. He dominates combat, magic, whatever. The entire campaign becomes "the adventures of the DMPC (and his band of hangers on he has to rescue regularly, or else who always seem to get killed before he can save the day)".
He rolls up a Neutral Good Dwarven Cleric of Moradin. We play a session, everything is good.
Next session, he's apparently a Neutral Evil Cleric of Rallaster... (Wha?)
So, we're in a town, and the guy grabs a small child, drags her into an alley, beats her to death, and eats her.
Then makes weapons out of her bones.
Alright, I've seen a few similar to this guy, but this was bad.
He rolls up a Neutral Good Dwarven Cleric of Moradin. We play a session, everything is good.
Next session, he's apparently a Neutral Evil Cleric of Rallaster... (Wha?)
So, we're in a town, and the guy grabs a small child, drags her into an alley, beats her to death, and eats her.
Then makes weapons out of her bones.
I blame BOVD
The DM-Player
This DM has heard the term DMPC and hasn't twigged that the original meaning is "NPC in the party". He thinks it means the DM can have a PC the same as everybody else, right? Cos DMs are players too!
Sadly this flawed train of thinking is truly influenced by Wizard$ of the Coa$t and their player-oriented books.
In one of the D&D game books it actually says something along the lines of "..because the DM is really a player too...", not that I agree of course, but that is what the brainiacs wrote.
Thus you have DMs filling out their character sheets and of course the dreaded co-DMs who cannot discern the difference between the two.
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In one of the D&D game books it actually says something along the lines of "..because the DM is really a player too...", not that I agree of course, but that is what the brainiacs wrote.
So if the DM isn't playing a game too, then what is he doing? I, personally DM for fun, because I like playing the game.
I think you're confusing the D&D terminology of "player" with the English language definition of "player". The latter context, I believe, being what the "Because a DM is really a player to" is using.
Which brings me to another slightly frustrating DM and Player type, though admittably its not entirely thier own fault: Confusing-context. (for lack of a better name)
This player cannot seperate D&D terminology with its common language counterparts. For example, when he hears someone call the game "an epic campaign" he wonders how that can be when all the PCs are under level 20.
Their is also another player, it is the extreme opposite of Narukagmis.
This is a player who cannot read (mostly) and does not understand that d&d termonolagy that’s separate from real life. Continually does not properly read or understand the rules. Sometimes this type of player will get it...eventually, but some will never understand how to play d&d, no matter how many times you explain the rules. It comes down to that they just don’t care enuff.
this guy is blond. his mother is a blond. his father is a blond. his entire bloodline is filled with fair-haired people.
and it shows.
it's not that he's not interested... he's just completely clueless. this fellow needs to have the party's paladin hold his hand and point him in the right direction and tell him what to do, otherwise he would just sit down and pet the local kitty. or puppy. or small child.
not in game, out of game.
no walkie, all pointless talkie
not a bad player per say: he's sometimes good at both RP and combat, while both solving puzzles and is able of strategic thinking... but unfortunately he tends to focus too much on the small, minor details. if left to his own devices, he would probly spend most of the session doing relatively pointless and unexciting stuff (albeit very much in character) like shining his armor/weapon/sheild, examining the carpet in the tavern for 20 minutes IRL, and generally wastes party time with things that have no relevance to the plot and does not advance anyone's (even his own) goals.
This player believes that CN is the best alignment ever and that anything lawful is too restrictive. Thinks that being CN means if I want to be a nice lawful good guy I can or I can be totally evil and burn random children. NO!
Chaotic: the end justifies the means.
Lawful: the means justifies the end.
If you want both equally be neutral!
#next: Needs a save feature, or a reset button.
This player just loves to try things that seem fun, not to his character, but to him. He is not playing DnD, he is playing "let's say fun things" and almost always ends his half hour long joke with, "Ok, no I don't really do that. I'm gonna do..."
#after that: "I think i'll play a dread necromancer next."
This player makes fairly good characters, but has gotten far too used to playing them once then making a new character for a different game. Or has little grasp on how signifigant death should be in DnD. Dieing should not mean "Ok, i'll make a ranger next, just give me a few minutes and i'll write the character up. i'll join the party in the next room."
#another one: "what do you think I should do?"
this good intention player tries his best to make sure he doesn't screw up the GM's idea of how the game should go, because he knows it's annoying when it happens to him. Unfortunatly he never ever takes the initiative to do anything other that when he think the DM wants him to do exactally. Commonly waits till other players decide on what they want to do, and agrees no matter the choice.
MEI metagame, never know what my spells do, somehow I over-roleplay the unimportant crap, and under-roleplay the important crap. I always have a DMPC, though he tends to fill the role of redshirt when there's no other npc's around. I have WAY too many skills at my level, including Knowledge(damn-near everything) and ranks in Plot Railroading. And I enjoy this, as do my players (who love my lax rulings that let them blow up badguys, instead of just slaying them.)
So if the DM isn't playing a game too, then what is he doing? I, personally DM for fun, because I like playing the game.
I think you're confusing the D&D terminology of "player" with the English language definition of "player". The latter context, I believe, being what the "Because a DM is really a player to" is using.
Which brings me to another slightly frustrating DM and Player type, though admittably its not entirely thier own fault: Confusing-context. (for lack of a better name)
This player cannot seperate D&D terminology with its common language counterparts. For example, when he hears someone call the game "an epic campaign" he wonders how that can be when all the PCs are under level 20.
Good point narukagami.
I believe that may be one fallback of 3rd Edition in that it leaves so many things up to interpretation with the producing company itself(i.e. Wizards of the Coast) hardly ever taking an official stance on anything other than the fact that they want as many people as possible giving them their money for edition after edition splatbook after splatbook.
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Number?
I metagame, never know what my spells do, somehow I over-roleplay the unimportant crap, and under-roleplay the important crap. I always have a DMPC, though he tends to fill the role of redshirt when there's no other npc's around. I have WAY too many skills at my level, including Knowledge(damn-near everything) and ranks in Plot Railroading. And I enjoy this, as do my players (who love my lax rulings that let them blow up badguys, instead of just slaying them.)
Yup. I'd have to agree. You'd certainly be one of the worst, whether as PC or DM. More power to you though if you and your buds are having fun, which is what it's all about.
he doesn't play characters... he plays disposable wipes.
his characters have no personality, but then again, they rarely live past one session. foolhardy meatsheilds that throw caution to the wind without a care in the world.
they bring binders full of characters, all ready to use at various levels. his heroic sacrifice would be more memorable if it wasn't his 5th one today...
Show
The Tech Junky(a.k.a. The digital loser)
This guy/girl is closely related to the video gamer type expounded upon above in that he/she has no real life and everything that he/she does must be in some way related to a computer.
These are the players that come to games asking you if they need a certain dice program to roll a 20-sider. These dorks even show up with laptops instead of a PHB. This kind of gamer will always try to hit on the other sex at the game because he/she has no real-life interaction with a living being. You will also find this person spending tons of dollars on character design programs rather than picking up a piece of paper and using his/her imagination. This kind of player was usually the dork, not geek, when he/she was school-age and thus hid away by talking to their "friends", online right after having his/her lunch money taken.
The sad thing is this person does not know even one flesh and blood being except for the poor guy that is delivering their pizza, since sitting online, and doing everything online, has got them to the point where the only people they trust are fellow Yahoo users; and thus are seriously anti-social losers. This kind of player usually has bad eyesight too due to having developed computer vision syndrome from sitting online 24 hours/7 days a week.
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He was usually a dwarf, Chaotic Stupid, with an eating obsession and a tendency to bark at things. He'd try eating just about anything - moss on some rocks, an old rusty sword, the remains of a formerly animated skeleton, whiute sand by a pool, you name it, he'd try eating it.
As noted, he very rarely suffered death. He annoyed the hell out of half the group and had the rest of us dying laughing.
I've seen this guy a couple of times. Thinks that because he owns a library of books, and has played for X number of years more than you have, that you have to defer to his every whim ingame. Doesn't matter if he's the DM, or just a player, his characters rock, your characters suck. Try and argue with him, and instead of citing rules, or looking stuff up, he'll get all huffy and either point you at his massive library, or simply tell you that "you noobs have no idea what you're talking about" Loves telling everyone what his favorite things about D&D are, even if people don't care. Here's an example
P1: I'll have my fighter sneak up and knock out the guard
King: How dumb are you? Fighters can never be sneaky, they always have to wear the heaviest armor to be worth anything. Beleive me, I know. Dragon issue XXX says so, and I do have that in my collection.
If you succeed where he says you fail, it's pure luck, or you're some kind of Munchkin. If he ever fails, it's because the dice hate him, or the DM fudged the roles. If he's the DM lords over everything.
the redshirt:
he doesn't play characters... he plays disposable wipes.
his characters have no personality, but then again, they rarely live past one session. foolhardy meatsheilds that throw caution to the wind without a care in the world.
they bring binders full of characters, all ready to use at various levels. his heroic sacrifice would be more memorable if it wasn't his 5th one today...
My char fills in when there's no redshirt, but he (usually) doesn't die, too many hps. I don't put players up against completely lethal traps without reason.
when i play, i tend to gravitate towards a skill monkey/filler PC. if the party needs it, i'll be it. currently, information gathering of any sort (either through gather info or knowledge local/history) is left up to me. i also help tank & heal (no actual healer in the group, i'm the only UMD user in the 7 person group. i tried being a cleric once, but he got smushed by a 30+ damage crit... from full to -10 in one hit. we were debating of reviving him, but all we could salvage filled up a vial).
i ain't the best in the party, but i do try to help in any way possible. in combat, i am right now graviating towards helping the front line by tanking with my glaive and providing a "wall" between the front line and the archers & mages
+1. Pun Pun Jr. A guy who's out to break your game, however possible. And he's got some successes, as his power is far above what it should be, due to vicious synergistic effects. +2 Pun Pun Sr. A legend amongst D+D players, Pun Pun Sr. has transfinite power and is able to demo a game within seconds. Pun Pun Sr. has found the breaks and the bends that allow true power, much more than the Jr. type (who is more a wannabe) +3 Frenzied Bezerker. He's as dangerous to his foes as he is to the children next door. With his fast healing 3 Magic Item, He is nigh-on unstoppable, and whole cities have been depopulated due to the Frenzied Bezerker. +4 Deliberate Failure. He doesn't want to really play, just to screw over the other PCs.#92: Ken
If your name is Ken, no offense, because I'm referring to THE Ken.
Me: So what do you think about the war in Iraq?
Ken: A red dragon could kill Saddam!* more along the lines of the tarrasque could totally take the snake orochimaru summons to attack konoha in Naruto...
Me: Have you taken the Physics GRE yet?
Ken: What's that?
Me: It's the test you have to take to get into grad school to study advanced Physics...wait, I thought you wanted to be a Physicist? Do you even have any plans for after graduation other than staying home, watching hentai, and playing D&D?* playing games on pc and sleeping but haven't heard of hentai
Ken:...no...
I know I probably shouldn't get personal, and I probably should come up with some general nametag to describe the Ken. However, I have instead opted to convert his own name into a pejorative term. As in my own house rule: "Don't be a Ken."
aw **** I relate to the stuff with a * next to it, I am ashamed. Even my login name condemns me
.EDIT: nvm, googled hentai, never really interested in that stuff cuz I spend too much time on custom warcraft 3 expansion games and yah, although, why would you go for the cartoon stuff rather than real? BTW I'm also a lvl 3 lord of the dice.
The Boyfriend And Girlfriend
Either both players or gm and player, these two sucked. The boyfriend would give any advantages to the girlfriend he could, and if for some reason he couldn't give the advantage (dwarven SR for example) she would get very very very angry.
(Note: I am currently playing in a game with a couple who are the exact opposite of the two mentioned, so don't be discouraged from letting couples into games, just be sure they're good players to boot!)
The One Who's Disabled
No offence intended to anyone here, and I know this is a touchy subject, but at least TRY and handle the problem in a way that works with the game. The example is the GF from the previous example. VERY poor sighted (holding char sheet 5 cm from nose to see it), couldn't read most of the books, would ALWAYS pick dice up and roll them around in fingers before announcing the number on dice. Would get very angry if we suggested that she let the gm tell her the number.
The One Who Tells You WAY Too Much
Sometimes the over the top stories can be hilarious. But to get told off by another player for a having a beer at the table because you were sexually abused by your drunk dad...
The One Who Can't Remember Their Manners
This particular person has been a pain since the first session, but things really struck home when our normal venue was unavailable and so we were gaming at the Good Couples house. When we arrived, they were making tea, and to our suprise and delight it was for everybody! So we all get our food and eat. This dude was a pretty sloppy sort of an eater, for a start, and then at the end of the meal made a comment along the lines of "I didn't get much". I notice the couple sort of glance at each other, before one of them says that there was a litlte more left. So he served himself another bowl and continued eating noisily while we started gaming.
And this has gone on. Asking the DM for rides to places ten minutes before he has to leave and 30 minutes before the game's set to end, but not in a "Could I please get a ride?" kinda way, but rather a "Oh man, my bus leaves in fifteen minutes, and I'll have to wait two hours before the next one. That'll suck." *looks at dm*
Shudder.
The One Who's Self-Centered And Stupid
Mentioned in the first 100, I know, but it's good to get my frustration out.
Thanks for listening.Thinks he's the most important character, despite being completely unable to do anything even approaching to either roleplaying or combat. Plays a bard yet wields an overlarge scythe, dresses in black robes and has a tiger. Also seems to think being a bard gives him rogue abilities. For example, last session he wanted to go off and do rogueish stuff so he handed his huge scythe to another character (who could barely hold it) and tried to walk off. When the other character's player stated "I drop it" the self-centered one went balistic about how much the scythe was worth, family heirloom etc.
The Obscenely Unimaginative One
We're currently playing with a rules-lite, story-heavy, coolness-reigns-supreme DM who loves to make things look and sound cool. We get bonuses if we describe how we do things rather than just stating "I attack the orc with my sword" and other such boringnessess. However this player fails to understand how to do this. It took about 5 tries and a lot of DM help/explanation to get "I drag my weapon across the ground, spraying sparks, before slicing upwards into the orc."
Really makes me wonder why he plays D&D.
The One WoW Player
I currently play with this dude and he's a great guy. But sadly, he has been hooked on that filthy drug of the internet-generation, World of Warcraft. Only one of us has ever played it, and as fun as some of his stories are, "So I was playing WoW" is getting pretty cringeworthy
The One Who Doesn't Get It
My groups tend to be fairly mature. Don't get me wrong, we make fart jokes and mess about as much as the next group, but sex isn't some mysterious occurence that never happens in (or out of) the games. PC/PC, PC/NPC, NPC/NPC, it's all been seen or done, not graphically, but it's there. So consequently, dirty jokes will often occur, both in and out of character.
And this guy doesn't get it. No matter how simple a joke is, he just won't get it if it's even might be related to sex somehow. Then he'll laugh, and look around, as if expecting an explanation.
Example: Big party was being held, the final night of the new year festivities, couples running out of the manor house it was held in, scuttling off into the bushes, getting intimate and running back. The monk of the party, being particularly naive to the way of the world, assumed that the couples were playing a popular chess-like game in the bushes. This turned into a IC and OOC joke that was repeated throughout the session, often with superb timing, generating much mirth.
But the one who doesn't get it just... did not get it.
Ok, that's enough, this whinge is far too long already! With any luck somebody will get a chuckle out of this.
And if you encounter one of these players, in a game you run or play in, tell them to get the freak out!
I am guilty of more of these than I care to admit, and I have seen many of these players in my gaming groups.I had to look at quite a few profiles to make sure that these posters weren't in my group.
This player usually has some kind of deep-seeded abandonment issues, being that he does not know how to get along with a group of regular players and when they get tired of him he always has to be the one to leave first(thus not feeling abandoned by the group when they give him the boot).
This player resembles another kind of player I mentioned earlier in that he/she never actually games at all; other than a few times here and there in between running from the inevitable boot that comes as a justified result of his/her horribly childish attitude at games. This gamers logic, or the lack thereof, is kind of similar to:
Father: "I kicked you out because you are darn near 30, don't have a job and do not want to show any respect in my household"
Spoiled brat/abandoned child: "No you didn't I was going to leave anyway. I don't want to be there anyway!!"
The root of this player's mental anguish is his/her own denial of the fact that:
1. Many of the problems this player has are brought on by his/her own bad attitude.
2. They would rather argue than game.
3. They know that they are on the verge of being kicked out, due to # 1 and # 2, therefore to save face they so-called leave the game when they see the player's and DMs boot aimed at their butt cheeks.
Both myself and other players/DMs have noticed many of these kinds of players being nurtured by WotCs unwritten anti-DM policy.
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And his polar opposite, "That's underpowered!" Would like to be able to deal damage that rivals the effects of nuclear bombs. If it doesn't kill instantly or deal 243,922.5d6 damage, then it's underpowered.
All the more annoying when they're in the same group. *shudder*
Also LordofIllusions... It frightens me to think that there are multiple copies of this person running around. My group suffered the infrequent incursions of this guy. You don't happen to live in ohio/michigan do you?
yea i had a few of the abondonded child players when i was in ohio. fortunatly i know who all the ones close to my home are so when i go back i can avoid them.
Oh yes, they are plentiful. Thanks to a company I shall not name we have dozens of spoiled rotten players trying to prove some kind of moot point rather than actually sitting down and playing.
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Yes my Dm is like this and has a dmpc and in one specific event we were surrounded by evil bandits in a church. we all attacked ,ran ,shot arrows broke through a glass window, and his pc literally brought down the entire church with his uberness and not one of the bandiits got a single action
Or paradoxially worse when they're the same person. Usually has a set of double standards, complaining that anything better than what he has is overpowered, and everything he takes is underpowered.
Also LordofIllusions... It frightens me to think that there are multiple copies of this person running around. My group suffered the infrequent incursions of this guy. You don't happen to live in ohio/michigan do you?
Sorry Magus Gar Kan, I did not see your question earlier. I was not trying to be rude intentionally, just skimmed over it.
I live in New Jersey.
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8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
Why is this a bad player? I mean hell sounds like she is kind of fun, add to that the dice ninja soda throwing thing and hell sounds like someone fun to have at a table.
Will come up to you in the middle of the day and insitigate a conversation about what spell is most useful in X situation. Will call you at night with his new idea for a feat. When you do play D&D, becomes so enraptured with the game that you worry that he may actually bring a sword to the table and attack a random person, thinking he's an orc.
this player will spend all their time multiclassing to be this awsome charcter who will have arcane divine and pisonic magic. Which isnt bad just they wont be use full until 12th level. They forget that you have survive until 12th level not depend on every one else to keep you alive.
Obsessed with D&D
Will come up to you in the middle of the day and insitigate a conversation about what spell is most useful in X situation. Will call you at night with his new idea for a feat. When you do play D&D, becomes so enraptured with the game that you worry that he may actually bring a sword to the table and attack a random person, thinking he's an orc.
I have a friend like this. Annoys the hell out of me.
-Gene
Obsessed with D&D
Will come up to you in the middle of the day and insitigate a conversation about what spell is most useful in X situation. Will call you at night with his new idea for a feat.
Guilty.
Yeah right fatty. Anyways he once got up and left the table?, we carry on, he comes back with McDonalds(only for him, nobody else) and gets ****** we played without him. Also had the my pc never makes more than 1-2 sessions because I am a real-life dummy syndrom above. Got ripping drunk more than once, I drink some beers at game time sometimes, but I still to this day have never seen 1 guy polish off a quart of vodka solo. I ran a old 2nd edition Shadow run game, and against my wishes another player brought the behemoth along. He makes a guy, we play a few sessions, on encounter I had all the pcs make a list of items they were holding/using. Guns armor etc.
This clown shoe gets killed(like18D damage most/all 6's) and informs me thats impossible because hes got Armor a,b, and c on. I show him the list He wrote, tells me i fudged it, i get mad voices escalate, i'm ready to box at this point. Fatty announces if he doesn't get his way he'll never play with us again.
Problem solved.
What about blows you off at the last minute on game day guy.
Drunk guy. drinks a 12-18 pack of cheapest beer in 5 hour session, then insists on driving home.
Goes out for a smoke every 15 mins guy.I smoke too man but damn. Ususally rides w/ drunk guy.
We covered lives for DND guy, i know him too. Talks to u about Waterdeep in a bar,or at work when your gasp! working.
I used to play with this Wanker named Shawn. This man at 6'7'' and damn close to 500 sweaty rolling obese pounds would always have to jam or should I say pack himself into the one spot at the table thats against the wall. Every time he got up table got pushed into others, drinks spilt, Character sheets wet etc, but never warn anybody he was about to move. When asked to sit elsewhere he would say he "has to sit with my back against the wall, I have alot of enimies".
Yeah right fatty. Anyways he once got up and left the table?, we carry on, he comes back with McDonalds(only for him, nobody else) and gets ****** we played without him. Also had the my pc never makes more than 1-2 sessions because I am a real-life dummy syndrom above. Got ripping drunk more than once, I drink some beers at game time sometimes, but I still to this day have never seen 1 guy polish off a quart of vodka solo. I ran a old 2nd edition Shadow run game, and against my wishes another player brought the behemoth along. He makes a guy, we play a few sessions, on encounter I had all the pcs make a list of items they were holding/using. Guns armor etc.
This clown shoe gets killed(like18D damage most/all 6's) and informs me thats impossible because hes got Armor a,b, and c on. I show him the list He wrote, tells me i fudged it, i get mad voices escalate, i'm ready to box at this point. Fatty announces if he doesn't get his way he'll never play with us again.
Problem solved.
First of all, he bumped the table. So what? Big deal he probably didn't mean to.
Uhh... he was probably making a joke. You were just too reta- mentally challenged to get it apparently.
Also, why the hell would you carry on without him? Isn't he important enough to be part of the game too? Umm... did you ask him to bring you anything back? You expect him to pay for your food ahead of time before he knows you even want anything? The last part I don't understand, were you drunk when you posted this?
I used to play with this Wanker named Shawn. This man at 6'7'' and damn close to 500 sweaty rolling obese pounds would always have to jam or should I say pack himself into the one spot at the table thats against the wall. Every time he got up table got pushed into others, drinks spilt, Character sheets wet etc, but never warn anybody he was about to move. When asked to sit elsewhere he would say he "has to sit with my back against the wall, I have alot of enimies".
Yeah right fatty. Anyways he once got up and left the table?, we carry on, he comes back with McDonalds(only for him, nobody else) and gets ****** we played without him. Also had the my pc never makes more than 1-2 sessions because I am a real-life dummy syndrom above. Got ripping drunk more than once, I drink some beers at game time sometimes, but I still to this day have never seen 1 guy polish off a quart of vodka solo. I ran a old 2nd edition Shadow run game, and against my wishes another player brought the behemoth along. He makes a guy, we play a few sessions, on encounter I had all the pcs make a list of items they were holding/using. Guns armor etc.
This clown shoe gets killed(like18D damage most/all 6's) and informs me thats impossible because hes got Armor a,b, and c on. I show him the list He wrote, tells me i fudged it, i get mad voices escalate, i'm ready to box at this point. Fatty announces if he doesn't get his way he'll never play with us again.
Problem solved.
You're an *******.
You're an *******.
Seconded.
-Gene
Viper- the table thing was done over, and over at least 1-2 times a session, though not always spilling drinks and such. and as far as the leaving for food thing goes, the guy got up in the middle of a dungeon crawl and walked out the door without saying a word to anyone about where he was going or if he was coming back.We assumed he went home or something.The back-against-the-wall-thing was no joke, or if it was his persona of I used-to-be-a-DEA-agent in real life was a joke too, not just a lie. Have you ever heard of a post apocalyptic cyber punk-esque RP game called Shadowrun? Its not made by WOTC, but its an ok game. Maybe google search it, or ask one of your divorced parents to buy it for you, (Christmas IS coming)before you get the I-don't-understand-it -so-Moparfiend-must-be-drunk attitude. Educate yourself before you call names. I bet your the guy pushing smaller in shape people around w/your belly trying to get extra food in the lunchline. Be nice, be informed.
So anyways if i offended anybody, the last thing I want is to be called names on a message board, on a thread where people post about thier worst players and i dared to post mine.
Nice to know you all could put down the bag,wipe the iridescent orange cheese crumbs from your fingers and post sour comments to my post.
Burn in hell,
Moparfiend:D
So anyways if i offended anybody, the last thing I want is to be called names on a message board, on a thread where people post about thier worst players and i dared to post mine.
Nice to know you all could put down the bag,wipe the iridescent orange cheese crumbs from your fingers and post sour comments to my post.
Burn in hell,
Moparfiend:D
No offence, but that really would have sounded a lot better if you hadn't stooped to insulting and threatening people yourself, even if you didn't start it.
Him:"How about at 1st level I give up my animal companion to turn into a wolf."
Me:"No"
"My characters name is Grom Hellscream."
"Can I make a Shaman class
Him:"Can I have an Ogre Mage character."
Me:"I'm not good enough with the rules to manage that."
Him:Then I'll DM.
Me:You've barely looked at the DM guide. This isn't World of Warcaft.
Him: I know
Me:Then stop trying to put stuff from WoW in it!
I used to play with this Wanker named Shawn. This man at 6'7'' and damn close to 500 sweaty rolling obese pounds would always have to jam or should I say pack himself into the one spot at the table thats against the wall. Every time he got up table got pushed into others, drinks spilt, Character sheets wet etc, but never warn anybody he was about to move. When asked to sit elsewhere he would say he "has to sit with my back against the wall, I have alot of enimies".
Yeah right fatty. Anyways he once got up and left the table?, we carry on, he comes back with McDonalds(only for him, nobody else) and gets ****** we played without him. Also had the my pc never makes more than 1-2 sessions because I am a real-life dummy syndrom above. Got ripping drunk more than once, I drink some beers at game time sometimes, but I still to this day have never seen 1 guy polish off a quart of vodka solo. I ran a old 2nd edition Shadow run game, and against my wishes another player brought the behemoth along. He makes a guy, we play a few sessions, on encounter I had all the pcs make a list of items they were holding/using. Guns armor etc.
This clown shoe gets killed(like18D damage most/all 6's) and informs me thats impossible because hes got Armor a,b, and c on. I show him the list He wrote, tells me i fudged it, i get mad voices escalate, i'm ready to box at this point. Fatty announces if he doesn't get his way he'll never play with us again.
Problem solved.
I love it.
Fatty announces if he doesn't get his way he'll never play with us again.
Problem solved.
Being unfortunate enough to be overweight is not an offence. Being a crap player, getting drunk and offensive to everyone, that is. By the way, I loved Shadowrun 2nd ed ...
Ineednosalt-pretty easy to talk crap over the internet now isn't it? I assure you, if you said such things to a man of my caliber in person, you'd be missing a few pounds of bacon from your back.
"It's pretty easy to talk crap, isn't it? If I were here in person, I'd beat you up!"
Hypocrite much?
posts to come up with that? Come on, next time ask your dad BEFORE you post. Now children, don't make me turn this car around.
Priceless.The Spaz: This guy not only knocks his own drink over, He gets excited and jars the table so hard that everyones drink goes down, as well as all of the minis,the DM screen and any unattended chairs.
The Dice-a-pault: This guy does not roll the dice, He hurls them. Bouncing them off other players, bowling over miniatures and denting the DM screen.
Shut up Shuttin' up! This guy talks OCC about everything except D&D (Especially WOW). He interupts everyone including the DM to hold court and go on about his latest endeavor.
The Miniature Molester: You are in the middle of a combat with properly placed minis showing where everything is. He just has to pick them up and make them "talk to each other" Including placing them in psedo-sexual position complete with sound effects. He never puts them back where they were either, He causes all kinds of confusion about who has a flank bonus, etc.
The Snack Hole: The strange gravity from this player continually drags any bag of chips,candy, cookies or pizza from anywhere on the table into his immediate reach.
The Davinci: In a campaign world where magic works, dragons are real and demons and undead present a real danger. He insists on applying Real world(TM) physics to everything and has his character act as if he was aware of everything from atomic physics to astronavigation.
In the Underdark he goes around looking for Uranium. On the surface he engages in trying to build an oil drill so that he can refine crude into gasoline. If given magic, he tries to make a light saber or a helicopter.
Ineednosalt-It took you TWO
I uh... I don't even know what you're suggesting here, since this is my first post since your last post, and there are more than two posts between your last post and my post, and...
What?
Number whatever: The player who is obsessed with World of Warcraft.
Him:"How about at 1st level I give up my animal companion to turn into a wolf."
Me:"No"
Actually, there's a alternate class feature in the PHB II that lets a druid do just that (also giving up wild shape).
Mr.Bling
This player will demand magic items and only concede someone else getting the loot when he finally crunches the numbers and discovers that the +1 mithril shirt he called dibs on gives him no bonus to anything with his dex at what it is, then will often say something like "okay fine you can have it, but I get the next *****en thing that comes along".
Frequintly found saying "Oh I take that" when Gm is reading off loot we found.
The Eternal DM
player is unhappy unless he's the one running the game.
The Hypocritical psycopath
Will not hesitate to kill people cause they "****** them off", insists on frequently doing incredibly evil acts but will turn around and complain if you have any aspect of your character that is of questionable morality even if its not a goodly character. Despite a sadistic streak they see nothing wrong with that kind of makes you wonder if their sociopaths in RL insists that their character is of good alighnment.
the Pessemist
Goes into games convinced he won't have fun, doesn't, and then attempts to wreck it however he can. Closely related to the eternal DM.
The Eternal DM
player is unhappy unless he's the one running the game.
The Eternal DM
player is unhappy because he's allways the one running the game.
Usually found glaring at you over a DMs screen.
May spontaneously erupt into gleefull laughter when hearing that another person has agreed to run a game.
Not a bad player, just had to add this in, as the polar opposite of the above.
The One WoW Player
I currently play with this dude and he's a great guy. But sadly, he has been hooked on that filthy drug of the internet-generation, World of Warcraft. Only one of us has ever played it, and as fun as some of his stories are, "So I was playing WoW" is getting pretty cringeworthy
Sorry, but this set off the "unreasonably insulting" klaxons in my head. I realize that WoW isn't a game everyone will enjoy, but until you play it, and at least try to carry a character to level 5, you have no room or reason to talk of the game itself. There's as many stupid people/smart people in woW as there are in D&D/life in general, but at least WoW has /ignore. If you have issue with his stories, tell him to shut up, simple as that. You wouldn't burn down Fox because a guy you know wouldn't shut up about Family Guy, would you?
If you want, PM me and I'll hook you up with a 10 day free trial. It's deceptively easy to learn and exceptionally fun.
I uh... I don't even know what you're suggesting here, since this is my first post since your last post, and there are more than two posts between your last post and my post, and...
What?
Just click the ignore button and let him pretend that whatever he's jabbering on about makes a microgram of sense.
LOL at Mr.Bling:D
Yeah I called it Mr. Bling because the player seems to think something being shiny constitutes an upgrade lol.
(and that really happened, it was bad.)
Sorry, but this set off the "unreasonably insulting" klaxons in my head. I realize that WoW isn't a game everyone will enjoy, but until you play it, and at least try to carry a character to level 5, you have no room or reason to talk of the game itself. There's as many stupid people/smart people in woW as there are in D&D/life in general, but at least WoW has /ignore. If you have issue with his stories, tell him to shut up, simple as that. You wouldn't burn down Fox because a guy you know wouldn't shut up about Family Guy, would you?
If you want, PM me and I'll hook you up with a 10 day free trial. It's deceptively easy to learn and exceptionally fun.
I don't want to pay $100NZ for a game, then $60NZ every two months to keep playing, thanks all the same.
This thread is about player problems. I find his stories irritating. I'm not just going to tell him to shut up, because he's my friend and some of the stories are funny, but it's like telling stories about NASCAR when nobody else is the slightest bit interested in NASCAR except for the crashes.
And WoW is addictive. Anybody who knows a group of WoW players has experienced the conversations that are about nothing but WoW for hours on end. If you found my comments insulting, let alone "unreasonably insulting", I think you're being a bit thin skinned about your addiction and its effects on people around you.
The Eternal DM
player is unhappy because he's allways the one running the game.
Usually found glaring at you over a DMs screen.
May spontaneously erupt into gleefull laughter when hearing that another person has agreed to run a game.
Not a bad player, just had to add this in, as the polar opposite of the above.
*raises hand* Me alright. Even the gleeful laughter bit ^^u.
Now, my players (all but one of the four of them are worthy of entering here. Yeah, sad, I know):
-The destroyer: Does not find the session complete until he smashes some wall/door/whole building into pieces, the latter preferably with its occupants still inside. Likes to enter inns through the wall, too. Carries an adamantine weapon only to be able to avoid walls' hardness, and will get all p***ed when the guards reduce or outright kill him for it.
-The murderholic: This guy KILLS THINGS. All things. Everything that moves is a fair target to him, from the nefarious mindflayer to the innocent kid in the street. Will get bored if he hasn't killed anybody in the last ten minutes.
-The total klepto: Will break into houses, slit their occupants' throats while they sleep, and take everything that isn't nailed down (and what's nailed down too if he can pry it loose). Then, he will blame it on some other random person (and he has a brutal Bluff mod, so a lot of the time it actually works). Finds it funny to blame it on a party member, too.
...And this is what I have to work with. And they wonder why I don't like DMing them ¬¬. The last one (a sorcerer) is every bit as evil as the others, but at least he is not Stupid Evil, so that's a... plus? -.-
Actually, there's a alternate class feature in the PHB II that lets a druid do just that (also giving up wild shape).
Well since I don't have the PHB II I think I'll keep that to myself for now.
#27 (I think that's the count right now...): The Sci-Fi Fan.
He won't be happy til his gnome wizard has a repeating rail-gun, flamethrower, powered armor and whatnot.
Nice! I have one of those. "We are going to fight some space dragons, right? How many force points do I need?"
The Miniature Molester: You are in the middle of a combat with properly placed minis showing where everything is. He just has to pick them up and make them "talk to each other" Including placing them in psedo-sexual position complete with sound effects. He never puts them back where they were either, He causes all kinds of confusion about who has a flank bonus, etc.
The Snack Hole: The strange gravity from this player continually drags any bag of chips,candy, cookies or pizza from anywhere on the table into his immediate reach.
Great titles.
Sorry, but this set off the "unreasonably insulting" klaxons in my head. I realize that WoW isn't a game everyone will enjoy, but until you play it, and at least try to carry a character to level 5, you have no room or reason to talk of the game itself. There's as many stupid people/smart people in woW as there are in D&D/life in general, but at least WoW has /ignore. If you have issue with his stories, tell him to shut up, simple as that. You wouldn't burn down Fox because a guy you know wouldn't shut up about Family Guy, would you?
If you want, PM me and I'll hook you up with a 10 day free trial. It's deceptively easy to learn and exceptionally fun.
You just want the free month of play.
Stay away from the messageboards. They will corrupt you.
The Metagamer/Rules Lawyer: Try to do anything creative and he will point out why you can't do that because of some random line of text in the PHB. If he kills something (anything, even a mouse) he immedatly demands XP. If monsters move around he gets mad. If monsters vary in any way from their entry in the monster manuel he becomes enraged. Usually has the entire WotC line of books memorized down to the number of letters in the third line of some random spell in Magic of Ebberon, even though you play Forgotten Realms. If the Dm has an NPC do anything cool he points out why that's cheating. By the end of the session you are so overcome with fury towards him that you have to activly concentrate to not key his car as he leaves. If you try to point him towards Baulder's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Diablo II, Oblivion, or any other video game he responds with something idiotic.
Nothing against me. I just happen to have an absurdly low luck, a downright stupid love of Druids, a chronic inability to write down a backstory or personality before gameplay (I usually develop both during the game, quite quickly) and an overall liking for playing powerful characters.
...then again, that puts me at odds with everyone aside others like me. Sure my character STATISTICALLY owns yours. but since I roll below 5 every other roll, it won't matter cause I will be the worst partymember anyway!
-- The guy who has the incredibly unfortunate tendancy to laugh at the absolute worst times... In the middle of the gaming session... right after drinking (enter random cold, non-alcoholic beverage here)... right over the gaming table... resulting in a cone-like spread of (reenter beverage here) all over the gaming table... which means the books, minis, map, and Character sheets... resulting in a mad dash to clean everything up...
Dude? That's called a munchkin.
It would be, but this guy doesn't cheat, he just can't see a character as anything more than a character sheet.
It would be, but this guy doesn't cheat, he just can't see a character as anything more than a character sheet.
Munchkins don't cheat, they just optimize to the ends of the earth.
Munchkins don't cheat, they just optimize to the ends of the earth.
Power Gamers optimize, Minchkins CHEAT.
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS IS NOT IDENTICAL TO NEVERWINTER NIGHTS!!!
This isn't about the guy who's occasionally 15 minutes late, but the one who is an hour late all of the time. That's not a problem with traffic, that's someone being a flake.
There is nothing wrong with playing characters different to you in genter, likes, etc., but when ALL your characters are the same in that way, it gets boring.
~~~
The guy who, in the first Dnd game he's ever played, goes with a wizard.
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS IS NOT IDENTICAL TO NEVERWINTER NIGHTS!!!
Care to elaborate? Because this makes no sense in the least.
I played a Wizard in my first D&D game ever, and that was long before Baldur's Gate was even conceptualized.
Gods, do I have one. A player who incessantly commanded the others to fall into the (strategically flawed) formations that he created, attempted to steal the social spotlight (with an average charisma score of 8), and, when not obeyed, killed off opposing PCs (whether the 'disobedience' was in-game or OoC). He also responded to any challenge to his 'authority' with real-life death-threats (he is, by the way, possessed of the training to back this up). The final straw came when he attempted to override DM-issued mandate via one of the above death-threats. He was booted mid-session, the only player in one of my campaigns ever to have been ejected thus.
Simliarly, one who openly states that if his character dies he will drive his hummer into the side of the DM's house. And yes, I have seen this. (don't worry, he didn't follow through on the threat)
(he is, by the way, possessed of the training to back this up).
Bah, just remember there is a VAST difference between the practice mat and the street. I've proven this many a time to my old highschool's "Mr. I-can-push-around-anyone-I-want-because-I-have-a-black-belt". Apperantly getting tackled and getting your face hammered on until you slip into unconsciousness as soon as you show up to the lot after school is something they don't teach you to counter in karate class. ;) That was like 5-6 years ago though, once you get out into the real world you quickly learn how incredibly stupid everyone and everything in your high school was.
And if all this wasn't while you or he was in school, then I hope you threw a "Grow the F up" in there with the booting.
Remember kids: The "trouble-making tough-guy" act doesn't fly outside of school, so once you graduate, grow up.
Now enough of my rambling.
Bah, just remember there is a VAST difference between the practice mat and the street. I've proven this many a time to my old highschool's "Mr. I-can-push-around-anyone-I-want-because-I-have-a-black-belt". Apperantly getting tackled and getting your face hammered on until you slip into unconsciousness as soon as you show up to the lot after school is something they don't teach you to counter in karate class. ;) That was like 5-6 years ago though, once you get out into the real world you quickly learn how incredibly stupid everyone and everything in your high school was.
And if all this wasn't while you or he was in school, then I hope you threw a "Grow the F up" in there with the booting.
[OFFTOPIC]
He lost most likely because he practiced doing all those HIYA Kicks. Once you're on the ground it's another ball game. Even then the juijitsu that most people learn is based around rules. Ya know like trying to do all these fancy submissions when the other person has a clear nut shot or pokes you in the
eyes. Martial Arts doesn't prepare you well enough for a real fight. It's just that, an art. [/OFFTOPIC]
Anyway I am amazed at the players that I have heard about so far. It's insane how many immature people are out there.
Anyway I am amazed at the players that I have heard about so far. It's insane how many immature people are out there.
Yeah, we need to invent a rapid-fire hammergun just to keep up.
I have nothing against the disease but all the players like this just stand there doing nothing saying nothing, mentioning nothing. Once the faintest hint that you might get to battle, like mentioning a gaurd with his sword drawn. He slings spells, fires arrows, and stabs everything with a heartbeat in visual range. If you don't mention fighting for too long, he attacks the nearest moving object, usually a party member.
It got so bad I stopped DMing the group. Just up and quit...
You're all going to flame me but you have to understand this is after numerous explainations by myself and the rest of the PCs (both in and out of character) that he had to stop, or at least try and stop. In the end, it was for the best...
31 pages and going, not surprising. Simply another testament to the horrid player types WotCs incessant player coddling has nurtured.
Stupidity existed long before WotC took over D&D. Unfortunately, it will also be around long after D&D is forgotten.
Anyway... the guy who always does what you tell him, its like the player doesnt exist and there is an extra PC for the party to use.
31 pages and going, not surprising. Simply another testament to the horrid player types WotCs incessant player coddling has nurtured.
~~~
You realize that the 'crazy houserules/vent about your DM' thread got so long that they had to start a second that has many, many, many more posts than this one, right?
Which, according to that 'logic' means that WotC makes more bad DMs than players.
You realize that the 'crazy houserules/vent about your DM' thread got so long that they had to start a second that has many, many, many more posts than this one, right?
Which, according to that 'logic' means that WotC makes more bad DMs than players.
It just means that players have to be reeeeeally bad to get put up here (everyone has little annoying bits)
However just about every DM in existence has made some call or other, however minor, that someone in the game did not like.
Besides, let's face it: quite a few people who try to DM aren't good at it, being a player takes much less effort, and there's nobody to whine when you screw up for the most part.
(said as both a DM, and a player under numerous bad DMs)
It just means that players have to be reeeeeally bad to get put up here (everyone has little annoying bits)
However just about every DM in existence has made some call or other, however minor, that someone in the game did not like.
Besides, let's face it: quite a few people who try to DM aren't good at it, being a player takes much less effort, and there's nobody to whine when you screw up for the most part.
(said as both a DM, and a player under numerous bad DMs)
Very true.
Though at the same time, some of the types of players posted here are rehashed from earlier bits of this thread that have been forgotten in addition to players that are only theorized in some cases or overexaggerated.
Not saying all of them are like that [or even most of them] but while the 'ridiculous house rules/crazy dm' thread might be inflated for that reason, this one is, at the same time, inflated for other reasons - even if not quite as inflated.
So it tends to even things out a bit, though my post was something of a tongue-in-cheek counter of LoI's ridiculous "WotC's player coddling" conspiracy theory.
I've had my fair share of bad/annoying players
- one of which never seems satisfied with the character he's currently playing
- another doesn't seem to know how to make or use the one he has with any level of tactical knowledge. the same one makes characters with little to no personality with any depth.
- one just doesn't seem to understand math or the rules of the game very well and is just annoying in general. [though he is making progress - the progress is just very, very slow]
- one likes playing paladins and although he tries to actually have individuals with personalities, feelings, and goals - those seem to fall second place to simple optimization.
The fifth, sixth, and seventh members actually do everything rather well - they're good at making effective characters and play them according to some personality with respect to their history and the campaign setting.
Altogether, it seems a reasonably fair if somewhat quirky D&D group.
and like I said - I've had a fair number of bad/annoying players... or just annoying, but I highly doubt that the D&D designers are actively and elaborately trying to edge out DMs from D&D or make life hell for them. If they wanted to do that - then they would have deisigned D&D to either be a wholly different game or made D&D into a MMORPG-only game [which would actually be far, far more restrictive so far as what players can actually do in the game - which would actually be counterintuitive to being 'player-coddling' then.]
Anyway, I've said my peace.
Now I sleep, for I am tired.
Which, according to that 'logic' means that WotC makes more bad DMs than players.
My theory is that they're both Wizard's fault. Wizards coddles players and tells them they don't have to listen to their DMs and they're more important, so players go bad. Then, on the contrary, Wizards turns around and tells the DMs its their game they can do whatever they want, so the DMs just blow off what players want to do their own thing. Then the two clash, they ***** and moan, ruin their home games, and then they make these threads.
I've yet to read in a single splatbook or core book "The players and DM are equally important to one another, and need to actually communicate on what they would both like to make the game fun." No, everything I've seen was the extreme "F your players" or "F your DM".
Note: Not in those exact words, you twits. :P
My theory is that they're both Wizard's fault.
Once again, WotC did not invent stupidity. They do not actively further its goals. Nor will stupidity become undone when WotC ceases to exist.
No amount of stupidity can be blamed on WotC.
Once again, WotC did not invent stupidity. They do not actively further its goals. Nor will stupidity become undone when WotC ceases to exist.
No amount of stupidity can be blamed on WotC.
Stupidity itself cannot be blamed on anyone really. However promoting it can.
However promoting it can.
Wizards of the coast hasn't 'promoted stupidity' any more or less than any other game system that I am aware of to date.
It's like saying that a television/refridgerator box/playstation 2 'promote a negative view of religion.'
The amusing thing is, of course, is that the statement is specific enough to be a discernable 'provable' topic and vague enough to be able to find material to promote it - regardless of how ridiculous or far-fetched the claim or even what the actual subject matter is.
Similarly to the anti-D&D-ism of the 80's and all the 'facts' that went to saying that D&D is the tool of the devil and the occult.
Which basically comes down to saying that 'D&D promotes stupidity/bad players/bad DMs/DM-Player conflict' is not only flat out wrong but very misleading. Moreso, considering that it would be an extraordinarily stupid business move to market a game designed to drive the people who play it to hate the friends they're supposed to be having fun with.
Which would also make the 'theory' illogical from a business perspective. Especially considering that the Pen & Paper gaming industry is fantastically smaller than some of the larger and more mainstream things - particularly video games.
In the middle of a life or death fight? Your tank is dead? The monk is unconscious? Your wizard's out of spells? Don't look to the D-A-C for help. He'll merely roll a 1, resulting in his sword getting stuck in the ceiling or him turning into a goldfish due to a UMD check.
Now when the tide of the fight turns, when all the characters but the dead fighter are surrounding the last enemy out of a group of 4, the D-A-C will score a critical hit with max damage, absolutely slaughtering the last enemy.
In short, a Dice Anti-Christ is he who cannot make a roll for the life of him when it matters, but those 20's are flowing when it is irrelevant.
Stupidity itself cannot be blamed on anyone really. However promoting it can.
It's Ford's fault that guy cut me off! It's McDonald's fault that so many people are fat! It's Armitron's fault that I was late to class!
Stupid people are going to do stupid things. It's what they do. Do any of my above statements make any sense? Because they make as much sense as blaming WotC for stupid players.
I dont care if anyone has said it yet, HALF-ELF BARDS are bad. Bad character. Bad character. Even half-orc sorcerers are better.
Dude, a second level half-elf bard can make a DC 39 diplomacy check, enough for most monsters to chill out (only need DC 20 to stop being hostile). Not bad at all unless there is no socializing in your campaign.
I dont care if anyone has said it yet, HALF-ELF BARDS are bad. Bad character. Bad character. Even half-orc sorcerers are better.
Ex. Plain. This.
Half elves kind of suck, yeah, but if they fit in ANY class, its the one where they can use their bonus to charisma based skills.
Bards do not suck. They just arent the best at any one thing, but they are damned useful if your DM is into more than dungeon crawling. Gathering information can get the best thing EVER for intrigue.
#154 - The Physicist.
Knows physics. And chemistry. Could build a nuke out of dice and cheetos. Tries to use all his knowledge to 'invent' stuff in the medieval ages, or use magic to create something he doesn't even know exists.
Tends to come up with.. 'interesting' ways of thinking, knowing for sure that something is a fact even though the world at large that he lives in knows that it's heresy, and this 'radioactive mutation' he speaks of can only be the ravings of a heretical madman.
Will figure out exact distance between flying objects and ground objects using math, calculate the density of something, gather innocuos materials that blow up when brought together...
I could go on and on but you all know the guy.
That's me. The guy that throws bags of salt at enemies then casts Fabricate to seperate the sodium and chlorine, or uses Lightning to power a primitive logic-gate computer that stores its data on arcane punched cards. I created a spring-loaded Repeater Crossbow with seperate clips and a sniper scope, and I used Grease to oil a whetstone. In short, I was the guy that stands out whenever I'm a magic-user...
...however, it's not all bad. The one time I was actually able to play this role well as all the PCs started off in jail for assorted crimes. We had a Rogue and Bard both arrested for drunken barfighting, and I was the Dwarven Cleric of Knowledge and Artificing who was awaiting execution for heretical thoughts ("The gods are a social construct that were created to make people obedient"). Course, his name was Rene, because his Dwarven name was taken away.
Ex. Plain. This.
Half elves kind of suck, yeah, but if they fit in ANY class, its the one where they can use their bonus to charisma based skills.
Bards do not suck. They just arent the best at any one thing, but they are damned useful if your DM is into more than dungeon crawling. Gathering information can get the best thing EVER for intrigue.
I'd say the Bard is easily one of my favorite classes, just because they get some of the best spells in the game, and they cast like a Sorceror. They work well as buffers (remember that Inspire Courage affects them as well) and as anti-mages. If you can get a Mithril Breastplate (or if you took the Battlecaster feat and are flush with cash, Mithril Full-Plate), you'll be well-set when it comes to avoiding damage.
Alter Self: I transform into a Bugbear/Lizardman/Troglodyte! It looks like I'll never need to get an Amulet of Natural Armor.
Animate Objects: This is a nice utilitarian spell, useful for grappling or blinding or beating up enemies. Also useful if you have more Repeater Crossbows on Tripods than you know what to do with. (OK, my Sentry Crossbows start firing like crazy).
Cacophonous Burst (Savage Species): It basically is an Empowered Fireball, but I'm alright with that, especially if I'm carrying a Metamagic Rod of Empower. It's always fun to inflict 22D6 of Sonic Damage.
Glibness: "This is an Orb of Annihilation! Put your weapons down or I'll blow everyone to kingdom come!"
Sculpt Sound: You'll never need to make a Move Silently check again. Also nice for screwing up enemy casters.
Sonic Weapon: Wanted to do an additional D6 of damage with every attack? You know you do.
Silence: A cheap trick of mine is to cast Silence on a Tanglefoot bag in my possession and throw it at an enemy caster. The caster can't cast spells with verbal components, and probably will have a harder time casting spells with somatic components.
Tactical Proficiency: This is essentially the equivalent of giving your allies each 1d6 of Sneak Attack damage.
Just because these classes do not specialise in the way that others do does not make them useless; what they have is flexibility and versitility, breadth rather than depth.
Your Bard is OK all-round rather than amazing at one thing - he can buff the party and fill in a little at most party roles if anyone goes down (ever had that sickening feeling when the cleric gets take below 0 hit points, and the party's healing power with it? Queue the Bard!).
Rangers are not as good as fighters, true, they lack the AC and the hit points at straight-up fighting. They have lots of skills and other abilities that makes them handy.
Monks also lose to fighters in a straight fight, but have the skills and powers not to fight that way. Moreover, combat aside the monk is the best defensive class around. Where ever a save is needed, the monk is the guy who has as good a chance as passing it as your specialists.
These character classes are the ones that can often strike out alone and survive with a better chance than most others because while they don't specialize their strengths, neither do they expose glaring weaknesses.
My theory is that they're both Wizard's fault. Wizards coddles players and tells them they don't have to listen to their DMs and they're more important, so players go bad. Then, on the contrary, Wizards turns around and tells the DMs its their game they can do whatever they want, so the DMs just blow off what players want to do their own thing. Then the two clash, they ***** and moan, ruin their home games, and then they make these threads.
I've yet to read in a single splatbook or core book "The players and DM are equally important to one another, and need to actually communicate on what they would both like to make the game fun." No, everything I've seen was the extreme "F your players" or "F your DM".
Note: Not in those exact words, you twits. :P
Here is another theory, though not very different than your own I must admit. WoTC does not make anything off limits for players, even the DMG. They literally have players thinking they can buy and use books that should be solely for the DM.
Therefore players that have no idea how to play the game, and work along with others, go on to become DMs that do not know how to play the game and work along with others. It is a shame because WoTC is creating both weak players and weak DMs with this coddling effect.
I remember not that long ago; It took me almost a year to perfect my DMing skills with 2E! Now, in order to sell more books quickly, WoTC is just telling players "Snatch up a Player's Handbook and a Dungeon Masters Guide and jump right in!"
I had to be on good terms with my DM, and respect him, so that I could learn from him; I sat with him behind the screen during some of his games that did not concern me and on my first campaign he sat with me and helped me along. Now you have this card gaming company telling these players "Screw him, screw her. Its your game too!", and sadly these little video gamers turned roll players are listening.
Just to let you know I agree with your point and am not countering it in anyway. I actually think you made an excellent point. ;)
My apologies for the derailing. Back to slaying weak player types...
~~~
WoTC does not make anything off limits for players, even the DMG.
You're damn right they don't. I don't need some faceless corporation telling me how to have or not have fun in my free time.
They make some products. I buy them. Our association ends there.
You're damn right they don't. I don't need some faceless corporation telling me how to have or not have fun in my free time.
They make some products. I buy them. Our association ends there.
I almost never post outside the Rec-Room anymore, but I feel the need to tell you that you win. Forever.
There is nothing wrong with encouraging new players to take up the game, and nothing wrong with encouraging an end to the 'DM > Player' mentality that attracts so many maladjusted schoolboys to the far side of the screen, where they can exercise authority over their peers in a way that they otherwise can't. The game includes players and DMs, and neither class is more important than the other. If the game isn't fun for the players, it should change or end. The DM is no different than any other class of player in this respect.
To be honest, LordofIllusions, you seem like quite the elitist. Were you by chance being sarcastic? I've missed that sort of thing before.
I don't need some faceless corporation telling me how to have or not have fun in my free time.
They make some products. I buy them. Our association ends there.
There is nothing wrong with encouraging new players to take up the game, and nothing wrong with encouraging an end to the 'DM > Player' mentality that attracts so many maladjusted schoolboys to the far side of the screen, where they can exercise authority over their peers in a way that they otherwise can't. The game includes players and DMs, and neither class is more important than the other. If the game isn't fun for the players, it should change or end. The DM is no different than any other class of player in this respect.
To be honest, LordofIllusions, you seem like quite the elitist. Were you by chance being sarcastic? I've missed that sort of thing before.
I wholeheartedly agree with each of you.
It's that kind of elitist attitude from the DM or the childish/elitist attitude from players that can turn a game of D&D into a headache very fast, which essentially causes this and other threads just like it.
What's worse is what the blame is placed on people who have nothing to do with this attitude beyond providing the necessary tools in which to actually play the game.
Which is just it - everyone who plays D&D or any game is there to have fun.
If there's no fun in the game, then it becomes a chore - and no one likes doing chores. It just becomes either a weekly 'thing' you need to get through or worse, a headache.
#infinity+1: Mr. Squeeky Voice
So many players have left the game, and you are short. you notice a guy who has been waiting at the hobby shop, apparently because he was stood up. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting an extra person, you ask him to join you. You are about to find out why he was stood up.
He has an incredibly squeeky voice, and has never played D&D before. However, you figure that three seasoned players and a DM should be able to walk him through it. WRONG! It somehow takes him THREE HOURS to make his character, and he's in no hurry. Of course he makes a female character, apparently some sort of elven princess, and descides that he needs to buy her underware, declairing without being asked "The type is for her to know, and you to find out." then proceeds to be an annoying, useless whiny ***** during the game. The player CONSTANTLY refers to books that have NOTHING to do with D&D, stating that that is how it should work. The game leads the players in an assault against a small fortress of orcs. However, when they are in the middle of the fortress, in the middle of melee, the Princess **** descides to distract the orcs by... (wait for it)
FLASHING her BREASTS at the ORCS!
...
...
Needless to say the orcs attacked her, and the mage character standing behind her stabbed her in the back, killing her. You resisted the urge to applaud him.
No Way! Holy Handgrenades of Antioc! was he 5' 2'' round glasses dark curly hair shoulder lenght? and "Rainbow influanced" as a summer day is long?
Players who complain about the DM but wont DM.
Players who think damage will solve every problem.
Players always want to do the exact opposite of what they know they should do.
Players who use dice that cant be read even if you use a flashlight.
Players who complain about the DM but wont DM.
Players who think damage will solve every problem.
Players always want to do the exact opposite of what they know they should do.
1. Guilty. I stopped though. That set is worn.
2. Probably guilty.
3. If it doesnt you just arent using it right!
4. This one I am NOT guilty of and get extremely mad as a PLAYER when it happens.
Edit: Looking back, I want to comment on the elitist thing. I agree that a lot of players ARE elitist, especially ones who have been playing since older editions.
Let me say this: Ive played first edition. And I STILL play first edition. Why? Because one of my favorite DMs uses first edition. He has played 3.5, begrudgingly admitting he liked certain aspects of it, but he also didnt like others.
Know what he did? He decided he didnt like it, just like you. So he decided to NOT switch systems!
Heres my question to all you elitist players who talk about how much better the older editions were: If you like it so much, WHY DON'T YOU PLAY IT?
Let me say this: Tabletop RPGs are 10% the system and 90% the DM and players. Your arguement that a system coddles players by providing excess material is invalid since in every case the material must be approved by the DM. So if there is too much material for one campaign, its the DMs fault for not putting a limit on it.
And despite what you may think, it IS the players game also. He is investing his time as well. Granted the DM invests a lot more and thus should be given the benefit of the doubt, but if the player is not having fun because the DM is making the game not fun for him, he has every right to stand up and either speak out or walk out. The DM has every right to say "Thats not what I intended my game to be like. If you dont like it you can leave or we can play something else."
Neither is subserviant to the other.
He insisted on making an AoO even though a gnoll druid with 18 con, 12 ranks in concentration, and Combat Casting only failed a concentration check on a 1.
He continuously accused me of cheating even though I hyad him read aloud the relevant book passages that said I was right in my ruling.
I had a guy that kept arguing with me about casting defensively.
He insisted on making an AoO even though a gnoll druid with 18 con, 12 ranks in constitution, and Combat Casting only failed a concentration check on a 1.
He continuously accused me of cheating even though I hyad him read aloud the relevant book passages that said I was right in my ruling.
For any of you who dont know, I think when he spelled out constitution he ment concentration
This player is somewhat of an anomaly being that he/she is actually not a player at all. Instead this player is what some DMs and players refer to as a political D&D activist; being that he/she spends all of their time on messageboards/lists/etc. promoting his/her bill of player's rights.
Usually anyone that does not agree with this faulty bill will be labelled "elitist" or some other method of subtle namecalling will be instituted in order to accomplish two things:
1. A shift in the opinion of DMs(although this rarely occurs the "elitist caller" simply gets ignored) and players towards the "elitist callers" side.
2. To give off the appearance that the "elitist caller" has a unique vocabulary.
Usually neither of the two is accomplished and thus the "elitist caller's" player bill of rights is defeated before it even makes it to congress.
~~~
But, PLEASE remember that just because someone is a member of some religion dosen't mean that they're anti-D&D wackos (after all, I play D&D!). Otherwise you're just as bad as them. Though in actuality, there aren't that many of them.
I have inescapable proof of this, my friend plays D&D with both her parents and her older sister, and her father is an Anglican Minister. So there you have it, not all "insert religion here" are crazy anti-D&D people, a number of them are, but far from all.
Often involves attempts to attack/kill/ sick their legendary mongoose or something on PCs who for one reason or another do not like the animal.
Often tend to use the Druid class and divide up the hitdice in the manner that allows them to take as many animals as possible and if one happens to get scratched, throws themself violently at the friend/foe that did so with the full intention of utter destruction by any means neccesary.
Often moderately nuts and/or members of reactionary animal rights groups.
The "one quick thing person".
There is always one of them, the guy/girl who interrupts the game with the hated sentence; Just one quick thing. Then (s)he goes of ranting about some crap (s)he just thought up. Game-related as often as not. This rant is always longer than four minutes, is always off topic, and always upsets the flow of the game.
Related to the "just one small question person".
_____________________________
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The Miniature Molester: You are in the middle of a combat with properly placed minis showing where everything is. He just has to pick them up and make them "talk to each other" Including placing them in psedo-sexual position complete with sound effects. He never puts them back where they were either, He causes all kinds of confusion about who has a flank bonus, etc.
Sorry, but I cannot believe this guy exists. And if so it was probably a one time thing.
Sorry, but I cannot believe this guy exists. And if so it was probably a one time thing.
I can. I had friends who probably still think this sort of thing is the pinnacle of comedy.
ill spare you all the story just let it be known there was never a better day to own a +1 flamming rapier.
I can. I had friends who probably still think this sort of thing is the pinnacle of comedy.
Me too. One is usually stoned and playing with dolls or drawing.........you dont want to know.
2 words. Sex. Ninja.
ill spare you all the story just let it be known there was never a better day to own a +1 flamming rapier.
Why not post the story on this thread :
Creepiest Person You've Gamed With
A 27 year old (veteran) player who does not put any intiative to act during in the game nor barely able to rp to save his PC's life. And yes, he played D&D before and knows the books, inside out. He's a rules lawyer.
Takes 5 minutes to decide what to do when the DM rushes him because he was delaying the party. 10 minutes or longer when the DM didn't rushed him. This happens in-combat or out of combat situations.
Seriously lack of any strategy in combat or even prepare any useful spells (All are Cure spells, no Bless, no read magic, no divine favour...etc) when playing a cleric.
Picking his nose and ate his own booger. Picked the dead skin from his toe and ate them. In front of us.
Nthis is that PC that is so overly attached to an animal companion, familiar, mount, etc. that you would maybe think they were more than friends...
QUOTE]
Hmm, we have one of those in our group. In the beginning we thought he just liked paladins….
Then one time, he described how he got on his horse, in a way that can best be translated to this:
“I mount my horse in one forceful yank”
Later, he told about the time he acquired said mount, and described it as: “The most beautiful horse I had ever seen”
He usually summons the horse in his own room, and spends a lot of time ‘grooming’ it.
And he never gets it, when people are freaked out
(I'm sure there's an english idiom for this kind of thing, but I don't know it).
Each time he plays D&D (whether as a PC or a DM) he is really excited. Ten minutes later, he is very bored and just wants the game to end as soon as possible.
He usually summons the horse in his own room,
and spends a lot of time ‘grooming’ it.
And he never gets it, when people are freaked out
Is the room on the ground floor?
Would a standard wooden floor support the weight of a fully grown warhorse?
Horses create methane , much like other ruminants.
An enclosed room and a naked flame won't cause a fireball ,
but may spook even a paladins mount.
And don't forget the steaming piles of dung.
Though it will be good for the roses , if not the room.
Basically the same as a dice Jesus, except that his presence makes everyone else into dice anti-christs. (Guilty)
The Elitist Caller(a.k.a. The Self-Appointed so-called Freedom Fighter for roleplayers)
This player is somewhat of an anomaly being that he/she is actually not a player at all. Instead this player is what some DMs and players refer to as a political D&D activist; being that he/she spends all of their time on messageboards/lists/etc. promoting his/her bill of player's rights.
Usually anyone that does not agree with this faulty bill will be labelled "elitist" or some other method of subtle namecalling will be instituted in order to accomplish two things:
1. A shift in the opinion of DMs(although this rarely occurs the "elitist caller" simply gets ignored) and players towards the "elitist callers" side.
2. To give off the appearance that the "elitist caller" has a unique vocabulary.
Usually neither of the two is accomplished and thus the "elitist caller's" player bill of rights is defeated before it even makes it to congress.
~~~
Is this some sort of stab against me? I had the decency to explain my point outright rather than resorting to implied threats or imagined refutations. Please do the same, or stop talking.
This guy is the most powerful player around, he's got uber stats, uber hit points, uber saves, and uber equipment, but as soon as something with a CR higher than his level shows up, his character stands back and shoots arrows and watches the Rogue die miserably trying to stand the creature down alone. Oh and when asked why he's doing this, he says it's "strategy".
The Cowardly Fighter
This guy is the most powerful player around, he's got uber stats, uber hit points, uber saves, and uber equipment, but as soon as something with a CR higher than his level shows up, his character stands back and shoots arrows and watches the Rogue die miserably trying to stand the creature down alone. Oh and when asked why he's doing this, he says it's "strategy".
It sounds like the Rogue is the Bad player there. Rogue going alone against something? That maneuver is called "suicide". Besides, your fighter may be right on his "strategy". When facing a tough melee foe, the best strategy is often to shoot as much damage as possible before engaging in melee (and have the monster "waste" turns as it moves to the group).
The False Zest Man.
(I'm sure there's an english idiom for this kind of thing, but I don't know it).
Each time he plays D&D (whether as a PC or a DM) he is really excited. Ten minutes later, he is very bored and just wants the game to end as soon as possible.
Oh god, I've been here before. "oh, I have this great idea for a character I want to play! I've got everything layed out for him too!" makes the character, gets five minutes into playing, then decides he 170 other, more important things to do, including yelling at people in CS while crying about "those (a sailor would blush) campers!" while everyone else tries to play.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
Although never posted in this thread directly, this guy wins the thread anyway. Starts on the 3rd post down and continues later. Note, this is disturbing and contains language not allowed on these boards. Also may be made up or exagerated.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
Wow... Just wow... If made up, these clowns he was describing couldn't even come from Stephen King's or Clive Barker's imaginations... If not made up, then I'm pretty lucky to never have come CLOSE to gaming with people that deranged... *shudders*Although never posted in this thread directly, this guy wins the thread anyway. Starts on the 3rd post down and continues later. Note, this is disturbing and contains language not allowed on these boards. Also may be made up or exagerated.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
As much as I don't like the military (not going to go into the details) that guy is my hero. I also don't want my one friend who is in the army reserves to ever meet the Punk Rock Chick he talks about, they sound similar and my friend is the only girl I am legitimatly scared of.Although never posted in this thread directly, this guy wins the thread anyway. Starts on the 3rd post down and continues later. Note, this is disturbing and contains language not allowed on these boards. Also may be made up or exagerated.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
In order:
Fat Nasty: HAHAHA! asshead got what he deserved. Hope he likes getting his pipes cleaned, racist dumbass.
Mr. Macho: Another racist **** who thinks he's Q or something; fantastic. if they were gonna beat him, they should have done so that they wouldn't leave marks, though. Glad to hear they didn't see any jail time for giving this guy a pre-prison beating.
Dr. Disgusting:
The Incredible Filthy Perverted Chick: I'm gonna go throw up now.
In order:
Fat Nasty: HAHAHA! asshead got what he deserved. Hope he likes getting his pipes cleaned, racist dumbass.
Mr. Macho: Another racist **** who thinks he's Q or something; fantastic. if they were gonna beat him, they should have done so that they wouldn't leave marks, though. Glad to hear they didn't see any jail time for giving this guy a pre-prison beating.
Dr. Disgusting:
The Incredible Filthy Perverted Chick: I'm gonna go throw up now.
I call "heavily embellished but probably based on truth" and "damn funny nonetheless."
Although never posted in this thread directly, this guy wins the thread anyway. Starts on the 3rd post down and continues later. Note, this is disturbing and contains language not allowed on these boards. Also may be made up or exagerated.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
Just... just wow... I mean... ugh... they... what... I... I thought people like that were a myth. Ugh, geez, yeah, that guy wins the thread. Now I'm going to go watch some Firefly to try and restore my utterly shattered faith in humanity.
Although never posted in this thread directly, this guy wins the thread anyway. Starts on the 3rd post down and continues later. Note, this is disturbing and contains language not allowed on these boards. Also may be made up or exagerated.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
These are examples why certain fundies think DnD leads down the path to the Devil.
People that cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality need help.
As for the hexer chick, no wonder she is the way she is physically. With that kind of a mental attitude and such a willingness to hex people, the Threefold Law's gotta be a right royal female canine...
Although never posted in this thread directly, this guy wins the thread anyway. Starts on the 3rd post down and continues later. Note, this is disturbing and contains language not allowed on these boards. Also may be made up or exagerated.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
*throws up* Holy jes... *throws up again* that was distrubing and I would not wish these people on anyone. Expect Punk Rocker Chick. :inlove:
I call "heavily embellished but probably based on truth" and "damn funny nonetheless."
Every good story has a few embellishments. ;)
are probably the least embellished.
purists like to call anyone who optimizes munchkins and hates it when you try to make your character strong no matter whether its legit or fits your char perfectly
Munchkins bend rules by not reading a spells drawbacks "awesome this spell does 200 damage" response "yeah, but they save for nil"...durr... this guy is the purists greatest ally in the fight against legitimate optimizers.
I also hate people who think munchkin and optimizer are synonyms. I can make my character effective and roleplay asshat. Read the Stormwind fallacy and go cry in your livejournal about the good old days of D&D.
#92: Ken
If your name is Ken, no offense, because I'm referring to THE Ken.
Me: So what do you think about the war in Iraq?
Ken: A red dragon could kill Saddam!
Me: Have you taken the Physics GRE yet?
Ken: What's that?
Me: It's the test you have to take to get into grad school to study advanced Physics...wait, I thought you wanted to be a Physicist? Do you even have any plans for after graduation other than staying home, watching hentai, and playing D&D?
Ken:...no...
I know I probably shouldn't get personal, and I probably should come up with some general nametag to describe the Ken. However, I have instead opted to convert his own name into a pejorative term. As in my own house rule: "Don't be a Ken."
Even though 'irregardless' isn't formal English, I (a well-educated native speaker) use it in conditioned alternation with 'regardless'; I'm much more likely to use 'irregardless' at the end of a sentence and 'regardless' in the middle of one or before a prepositional phrase. 'Irregardless', because of the extra syllable, seems to have more weight than 'regardless', which may be why it survives despite being redundant.
BTW, 'inflammable' is the opposite - even though it looks paradoxical, it's more 'proper'.
why say someone is uncooth, we do not say someone is cooth,but can informally.it right, but so wrong
Your 13-year old little sister who wants to name her sorcerer Harry Houdini. Damned rainy days.
Gah, I have to admit after last sessions I'm guilty of one of the "Worst PLAYERS to ever have in a game". I cheated reading dice results. Twice. Once by accident, the second time on purpose. Once on a Bluff check, the second on a Knowledge check. However, later on, I failed a save against Basilisk's petrification gaze by two points. I knew it was only two points but I admitted that I was petrified anyways since I figured that it was bad Karma catching up with me. Had to sit out for half the session while the other party members were looking for some sort of a way to get me and other petrified party members back to normal, so I feel like I was properly punished.
I'm wondering... did you purposely cheated on the bluff check (making it a double-bluff), or on the knowledge check (which would mean you knew you were cheating)? :P
In the end I was Petrified all the same. Your 13-year old little sister who wants to name her sorcerer Harry Houdini. Damned rainy days.
That IS horrible.
He was most clearly a rogue with focus in escape artist and sleight of hand.
max's out stealth stuff and the DM cant do jack about it because we fail our cheks to see him do it; he also ruins the mood by moving around drawing random stuff on his character sheet and playing with candels;i dont know if this stuff has already been posted; i didnt want to read 33 pages;
I have no idea what number this is, but:
Your 13-year old little sister who wants to name her sorcerer Harry Houdini. Damned rainy days.
OMG! I've become a parent. My initial reaction was a gentle, "Be nice to your sister."
:The guy that chew pencils!!
vry vry annoying to find out that someone has chewed your pencils durring a session(tho not as annoying as most of the other ones listed)
oh and im vry guilty of always wearing black(makes it hard to find a jumper in my wardrobe tho lol) and being exceedingly evil in game, unless i play a paladin in which case i am lawfull good personified untill i reach lvl11 and become a blackgaurd
Is this some sort of stab against me? I had the decency to explain my point outright rather than resorting to implied threats or imagined refutations. Please do the same, or stop talking.
This has absolutely nothing to do with "The 101 worst PLAYERS to ever have in a game."
My ignore list just gets longer and longer.
On another note: This thread has been going for awhile; I guess we can assume that 3E D&D is full of these horrid player types. It's a shame....really.
~~~
This is either the Rogue or the entire group. It has been decided that since your HP is higher than theirs, your AC is better, and your saves are "decent enough" you should go ahead. Nevermind the fact that the Rogue isn't bothering to search for traps just because "your beefy enough to take it." This player, or players, then refuse to do anything until you go down the corridor and effectively "disarm" the traps so they may safely pass. In addition it has become "your duty" to run up and get between the monster and the party because they figure it's better for you to die (and spend 25k to True Rez) vs. getting a little hurt themselves.
The Polish Landmine Detector
First off I'd like to appologize for the racial slur, but this is what my group has taken to calling me. This is due to the fact that I am Polish as well as the poor sap that is stuck "disarming" the traps.
-sigh-
Meh, you find them everywhere, playing everything. They aren't just found playing D&D.
LoL! I'll bet they are!
~~~
ready. Not sure if I wana handl it IC or OOC.On another note: This thread has been going for awhile; I guess we can assume that 3E D&D is full of these horrid player types. It's a shame....really.
~~~
...You do realize that stupidity is universal, and that this breed of stupidity is unique to gaming. Since 3E D&D is a very popular gaming system, there are more DnD players overall, and since the percentage of stupid gamers is an absolute, there are more stupid players that comprise the same percentage.My most hated player is the one who will not...And I mean WILL NOT go by a rule
Not sure if I wana handl it IC or OOC.
Handle it OOC.
When this cropped up in our game ,
we simply took a group vote to not disrupt combat over rules lawyering.
This applied to every player.
If the interpretation was clearly wrong , then an after combat (or after game) discussion would be had to resolve things.
Tell the rules lawyer , that he has to have his own copy of the rules to study at home.
He may no longer simply take your copy and give his interpretation at his convenience.
If he is unwilling to wait , he may leave the table (or sit quietly) and read his own copy of the book to check the relevant rule.
He (or anyone who does this) may potentially lose any XP for the encounter.
Combat may not be disrupted , unless the entire group agrees at the time.
THE WAL-MART SHOPPER OF DOOM: this player is one of the most annoying in my book. This player has to go to every shop asking for a certain item and if he can't find that item he goes to the next shop and the next shop and the next shop. If he isnt looking for anything he asks "well what do you have?" then whatever the DM says what the shopkeeper has he continues to ask questions about the items. is generally a wizard and consistently tries detect magic and spellcraft to see what items do what. literally takes up 30 minutes of scanning every item in a shop like a predator. must look at every item with every vision mode possible. Won't even care if he cant afford the weapon/ item / supplies he does this for the heck of it. If i was DM in the Campaign i wouldn't put a single shop in the world for fear of this player.
This is not a player problem. It's a DM problem. If the DM just told him what was there, or allowed him to buy thing he could afford, there would be no problem.
Although never posted in this thread directly, this guy wins the thread anyway. Starts on the 3rd post down and continues later. Note, this is disturbing and contains language not allowed on these boards. Also may be made up or exagerated.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=4669077
I read that entire thread over the past 4 days. It caused massive WIS drain.
Anyway, he will probobly let my backup character be an archivist. Yay for dark knowlege!
. He wouldn't let me make a Dread Necromancer as a character back-up in case my fighter dies (we get to re-roll as one level lower at each death unless we want to be ressurected) because it is too broken. I agree, but I want to play a broken character just once...
Anyway, he will probobly let my backup character be an archivist. Yay for dark knowlege!
just thought i'd point out that archivist is about twice as strong as Dread Necro, which is kinda weak. neither is broken however
LoL@ "stupidity is universal,.."!
~~~
I read that entire thread over the past 4 days. It caused massive WIS drain.
I can't stop reading. I'm sure parts of it are fabricated, but good god.
Dear good god.
I will never, ever whine about the fat Russian guy who lives with his mom that used to game with us again.
1. The guy who always wants (needs) to play, is always asking when the next session will be, talks about nothing else but when the next game will be but doesn't bother to buy his own PH or paint his own character and still isn't sure how combat works!
2. The guy your forced to watch like a hawk because he's always the one with unlimited spells or his quiver never runs out of arrows! (BTW toothpicks work great for this!)
3.The guy who insists on trying to intimidate the DM or other players because he likes lifting weights and thinks that that's enough to get respect and make him the leader of the game. (and his Barbarian never hits a thing!)
4.Anyone that doesn't bring the DM food or drink!!! (unwritten rule there!)
5. The guy who shows up with no money and the bigest appetite!
6. The guy that decides that instead of moving one 5' square he's gonna stand on the line seperating squares so he can't be hit! (this is also number 3)
7.The guy that's knee deep in the Cheetos and wants to physically touch any newly painted minis!
8.The guy that shows up to every game complaining about not starting on time and when the game finally starts decides to redo his character sheet. This is also the same guy that shows up to a game asking the DM what his hit points are and writes everything in pencil.
Ok, I C-A-N go on but I think I'll end this for now.
the same guy that shows up to a game asking the DM what his hit points are and writes everything in pencil.
I assume you mean pen, but yes, they are a pain in the ass...
Well you have to understand....
LoI is a snob. :D
This has absolutely nothing to do with "The 101 worst PLAYERS to ever have in a game."
My ignore list just gets longer and longer.
On another note: This thread has been going for awhile; I guess we can assume that 3E D&D is full of these horrid player types. It's a shame....really.
~~~
Alas, neither did your thinly veiled insult. In any case, if you'd like to have a civil discussion, as adults are wont to do, regarding the role of the DM and players in deciding the rules of their game, send a PM and we'll start a thread about it. I've had enough of the passive-aggressive, though.
As for Worst Player, how about this one:
It's Just a Game: This type of player understands that D&D is just a game. To him, at least, this justifies the game that he plays while the rest of you are playing D&D. That game, of course, is "Can I destroy the campaign?" To "win" his "game", the player will use subtlety and misdirection. He will avoid any telling offenses (as the DM would eject him, and he'd lose), but his one true goal is always the destruction of an otherwise-enjoyable campaign.
Taken (and massively exaggerated) from one of the players in my group. Really, this sort of thing can happen whenever one player takes the game much less seriously than the others, and is accepting of actions that the rest find irritating (such as playing a character named Runtboy the Flaccid in a serious fantasy campaign).
Well you have to understand....
LoI is a snob. :D
Thanks for the compliment! :D
~~~
It's Just a Game: This type of player understands that D&D is just a game. To him, at least, this justifies the game that he plays while the rest of you are playing D&D. That game, of course, is "Can I destroy the campaign?" To "win" his "game", the player will use subtlety and misdirection. He will avoid any telling offenses (as the DM would eject him, and he'd lose), but his one true goal is always the destruction of an otherwise-enjoyable campaign.
Although it's ALWAYS fun when you have an agreement with the DM beforehand saying "I will be playing a character who's sole aim in the campaign is to make sure the PCs fail without being discovered."
I haven't done this one in d&d much, but for some reason it seems to pop up 9 times out of 10 when I'm playing white wolf games.
They cast Sanctuary or fly or anything that can be used to escape and watch there team get murdered, doing nothing except put more distance between him and his enemies. Then he laughs when everyone dies and is like "Damn, you guys got owned!" And he continues bursting out in laughter. (i remmeber a person like this in a campaign i played in a while ago.. I killed him when he announced he was going to teleport, it was nice i rolled a crit too... ^_^)
Most likely its a kid of 10 years or younger who just walks up next to you or sits down next to where your campaign is going on and randomly talks and throws stuff on your mat and tries to show you the 1 million D&D minis his dad bought him because he was being a whiney brat. He puts stuff infront of you and he's like "Here look at this!!!" and he tries to even READ the name of the mini, and then he shows you all the rare minis he destroyed because he didnt think that they were cool, when really he got angry at them for no reason. I tell him to go away politly and ask for him to be quiet but no, out of the 50 people in the store he has to bug the crap outta me. I cussed out a kid like this when I was at a hobby store... and his dad was playing Mech Warrior right next to us, and the kid started crying and I got kicked out of the store for a day... plus all my friends thought I was a jerk... and it happens every time... I make the kid cry and he DOESNT STOP! AGHH!! so i just have tried to ignore him and i really wanna strangle him.. >.<
simple and clean...
The kid who tries to sell or trade Yu-Gi-OH cards to you while youre in a campaign... and is always like "WANNA BUY MY BUSTER BLADER?!!!!, HUH!!!???" and you can hear him from China... and i answer "I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOURE YU-GAY-HO CARDS NOW GO AWAY!" and he walks away for about 5 min and comes back and asks the same thing... personally trading cards are WORTHLESS! becuase i could buy about 10 D&D books for the price of some trading cards... O.o thats why...
1. Not sink to their level of maturity
2. Get the parent's attention and point out the child's behavior because 9.5 times out of 10 they will do something about it as most parents do not like to be embarassed by their children in public.
Forgive me for this and you can take this how you will but cursing and screaming at a child is a big NO-NO. The child is 10 that's his excuse. What is yours??
The WORST thing ever (I hate kids younger than 10 at hobby stores)
Most likely its a kid of 10 years or younger who just walks up next to you or sits down next to where your campaign is going on and randomly talks and throws stuff on your mat and tries to show you the 1 million D&D minis his dad bought him because he was being a whiney brat. He puts stuff infront of you and he's like "Here look at this!!!" and he tries to even READ the name of the mini, and then he shows you all the rare minis he destroyed because he didnt think that they were cool, when really he got angry at them for no reason. I tell him to go away politly and ask for him to be quiet but no, out of the 50 people in the store he has to bug the crap outta me. I cussed out a kid like this when I was at a hobby store... and his dad was playing Mech Warrior right next to us, and the kid started crying and I got kicked out of the store for a day... plus all my friends thought I was a jerk... and it happens every time... I make the kid cry and he DOESNT STOP! AGHH!! so i just have tried to ignore him and i really wanna strangle him.. >.<
Another under 10 kind of thing
simple and clean...
The kid who tries to sell or trade Yu-Gi-OH cards to you while youre in a campaign... and is always like "WANNA BUY MY BUSTER BLADER?!!!!, HUH!!!???" and you can hear him from China... and i answer "I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOURE YU-GAY-HO CARDS NOW GO AWAY!" and he walks away for about 5 min and comes back and asks the same thing... personally trading cards are WORTHLESS! becuase i could buy about 10 D&D books for the price of some trading cards... O.o thats why...
Good thing you were there to show him how mature people behave.
Yu-Gay-Ho...
The 5-12 year old with the DS who doesnt even know the campaigns name or what happened last round due to him playing warioware or that dog game... all you hear is Ruff RUff bark! O.o
*silently creeps over towards sanzo*
LEARN HOW TO *****ING TYPE!
:P
Besides, what's a child doing playing a game where there's killing and often times adult situations? Oh, wait, this is 2007..... nvm.
What you do is you tell the shop owner that the kid is drawing all over the books in the store. Then show him some books that you drew all over. Trust me, it works and is funny.
Nothing so hiddeous as the stories on the linked thread on this page, but here we go. I'll use he or she depending on who is on that particular poo list of mine. If you guys are on this forum, sorry. Not picking on you at all, I'm just in utter awe and must share. That being said.
The Projectionist: This player is fully capable of separating reality from fantasy, but cannot restrain himself from projecting the issues in his life from the game. Doesn't sound too bad yet? Just imagine a player that has a tough time with the ladies. Upon being turned down or dumped, his character becomes a brooding woman-hater that claims all women are witches and must burn. Upon success, however rare, suddenly this same character is (insert deity of choice)'s gift to women, and are there any hot barmaids? And this is just one single facet of the Projectionist. All aspects of his life get drug into game one way or another.
Bloody Stupid: Okay, I know this has to have been previously posted, but I can never get past this.. I just have a couple of prime examples from my previous gaming group. The kind of people that do something so outrageously stupid that you want to smash their head into the floor multiple times until you hear the gurgle of their last breath. I have nothing against people that think slowly, or people that occasionally make a boneheaded mistake. These people are mistakes. They're just bloody stupid.
Examples, both from an Underdark game. Players were given the options of being either a highborn drow or a slave-race of that house if they didn't want a LA. Firstly, let's go with two of the Bloody Stupid people that chose Drow.
High Priestess gave them the task to locate and retain the services of Bregan D'aerthe. DM was hoping to force them to think.
They become convinced through Gather Info checks and suchlike that there is a secret door in a certain cave. They spend about 30 minutes variously looking for levers, knocking on the wall, attacking it (I couldn't make this up), until finally one of them decides that the door has to be there, so he's going to walk into the wall. Yes, you heard right. He hits the wall, they give up, and go back, quitting a quest from a high priestess. Idiots. The one that walked into the wall got booted, the other managed to survive.
Second example.
This person is also guilty of a classic "girlfriend" syndrome. She wanted to be involved in her boyfriend's "cute little hobby" so that his friends would like her. She decided she'd be a goblin slave, under direction of one of the other PCs. This was a pre-existing game, and her boyfriend put on the sob story to us about including her.
She and the other goblin are getting orders from the First Boy when a female drow comes in to give the First Boy and group (we were all there) their orders. Now, when the people that you bow and scrape to are themselves bowing and scraping to another, I think the inital reaction would be to soil yourself and prostrate on the floor.
She waves and says hi.
Other goblin beats the bejeebers out of her in front of the priestess, bowing and scraping at the same time.
Cool Cat: I'm sure everyone's met someone that has a particular fetish for a certain kind of race. Almost everyone's met the person that wants to play a cat-like race. This is a sub-species. Same problem, but compounded by the fact that she only wants to play that race because they happen to look cool.
My personal example, she wanted to be a Naztharune Rakshasa. Didn't know any of the racial abilities. She could have saved our butts many times, and kept us out of the many ambushes we encountered (our DM's way of trying to teach her), if she had just taken the time to even look at the racial traits.
What kills me most is the LA +5, that she was happy to take. No concept of how cool the character could really be, just concerned with it being a cool-looking cat-like creature.
Another under 10 kind of thing
simple and clean...
The kid who tries to sell or trade Yu-Gi-OH cards to you while youre in a campaign... and is always like "WANNA BUY MY BUSTER BLADER?!!!!, HUH!!!???" and you can hear him from China... and i answer "I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOURE YU-GAY-HO CARDS NOW GO AWAY!" and he walks away for about 5 min and comes back and asks the same thing... personally trading cards are WORTHLESS! becuase i could buy about 10 D&D books for the price of some trading cards... O.o thats why...
More like 30+ actually. Have you priced a Black Lotus recently? $1k+. Yowza.
Besides, what's a child doing playing a game where there's killing and often times adult situations?
Emmm...I dunno about the "adult situations" part, but most boys start playing games that involve acting out aggression and death long before age 10 (cowboys and Indians anyone, GI Joes anyone?). That has nothing to do with 2007, if anything people seem to get their panties in a wad about it much more now than they ever used to.
as you can probably tell this became overly annoying. Then when a dungeon was reported to have a weapon he wanted, he finally dragged his level 4 butt out of the bar ( the rest of the party was around lv 12) this item was in the possession of a beholder ( which the party knew about before they left the town.) Now they make it down 5 levels he almost dies 4-5 times and was down to 6 hp. no one in the party would help him. i offered him a port back to town even and he refused (really wanted that sword i guess). There they are. Beholder gets the drop on them and starts attacking. The level 4 miscreant leave the beholder to the others and runs and grabs the sword. beholder fires an i beam at him. i role on a chart i made for random eye beams. 1d12 rolled and death beam. he fails save horribly with a 1. hes dead, rips up his char sheet, chucks his dice at me and TURNS OVER THE TABLE! Luck had it no one had a soda at the time.
After this he stormed out and comes back in with a game system and a tv. cranks up the volume untill we cant hear any thing else. At this point the 5 of us who wished to keep playing threw him out.
and you would think this is the worst part right? well i started a d20 modern game a few weeks ago, and one of my players ( not from the same game or even knew the offending level 4 jerk ) looked at me and asked what was in it for his character.....
...looked at me and asked what was in it for his character...
"Teh mad XP's"
i had a player who's character constantly asked what was in it for him, on more then a few nights he would play for 5 min and then when is question came up and i couldnt give him a "good enough" reason for his character to "risk its neck" he would opt to stay at the bar or in. then when every one else was playing he would bring in a video game and a tv.
as you can probably tell this became overly annoying. Then when a dungeon was reported to have a weapon he wanted, he finally dragged his level 4 butt out of the bar ( the rest of the party was around lv 12) this item was in the possession of a beholder ( which the party knew about before they left the town.) Now they make it down 5 levels he almost dies 4-5 times and was down to 6 hp. no one in the party would help him. i offered him a port back to town even and he refused (really wanted that sword i guess). There they are. Beholder gets the drop on them and starts attacking. The level 4 miscreant leave the beholder to the others and runs and grabs the sword. beholder fires an i beam at him. i role on a chart i made for random eye beams. 1d12 rolled and death beam. he fails save horribly with a 1. hes dead, rips up his char sheet, chucks his dice at me and TURNS OVER THE TABLE! Luck had it no one had a soda at the time.
After this he stormed out and comes back in with a game system and a tv. cranks up the volume untill we cant hear any thing else. At this point the 5 of us who wished to keep playing threw him out.
and you would think this is the worst part right? well i started a d20 modern game a few weeks ago, and one of my players ( not from the same game or even knew the offending level 4 jerk ) looked at me and asked what was in it for his character.....
Did the 2nd guy turn out as bad? I hope not.
In one of my old groups, we were all mercenaries except a cleric and paladin. So obviously we asked that question allot when it came to adventuring. With the DM's permission we decided it would be ok if the Cleric and Paladin offered payment from their orders if there was no direct reward.
Considering, however, that only came up once, there was really no need to worry about it. Eventually things got "personal" and our characters all developed vendettas against the BBEG, so we were finally willing to work for free.
My advice: Do that. Make things personal so the character has a reason to participate, if he's still just gonna be a jerk. BOOT!
Did the 2nd guy turn out as bad? I hope not.
In one of my old groups, we were all mercenaries except a cleric and paladin. So obviously we asked that question allot when it came to adventuring. With the DM's permission we decided it would be ok if the Cleric and Paladin offered payment from their orders if there was no direct reward.
Considering, however, that only came up once, there was really no need to worry about it. Eventually things got "personal" and our characters all developed vendettas against the BBEG, so we were finally willing to work for free.
My advice: Do that. Make things personal so the character has a reason to participate, if he's still just gonna be a jerk. BOOT!
no the 2nd guy turned out ok. his character got ****** at the ultra ussr zombies i made ( all part of the plot ) now he goes along on missions for the fun of things.
The “Ultra Bloody Critical Hit” man (Mr. Critical):
This man is never content with the description of a critical hit not involving AT LEAST 5 gallons of blood. By far the worst example of this is as follows:
Mr. Critical: I attack the man in front of me with my fist of doom.
Me: Ok, Critical hit (his eyes light up) you do 3 points of damage as you leave a rather large bruise on his cheek.
Mr. Critical: No no no it was a CRITICAL HIT. I reach down his throat, pull out his spine, and strangle him with it.
Me: it still only did 3 points of damage, he has like 50 HP. Beside that, why would you strangle him with his spine, he would already be dead.
Mr. Critical: but it was a CRITICAL HIT!!!
One more example:
Mr. Critical: a sneak attack the guard with my dagger.
Me(dreading the result): roll the d20
Mr. Critical: CRITICAL HIT!!!!! I cut his Jugular vein, blood sprays across the room (he continues on and on in vivid detail for about 5 minutes)
Me: you did 6 points of damage, it’s a cut, but not serious. Get over it.
P.S. I'm not perfect, my black leather cowboy duster just arived a week ago. I wear it over my camoflague cargo pants.
my black leather cowboy duster
Real men wear the brown ones. Teenagers wear black.:P
In fact, this guy wrote an essay about how a computer game was better than real life becuase you were in control of it. Guess how that went with our LA teacher.
If he did write that, at least he was telling the truth.
Real men wear the brown ones. Teenagers wear black.:P
Well, as I happen to be 15 years old, I guess I qualify :D (and besides, on Ebay, the brown ones were more expensive.)
The I am only here because all of my friends play
This rare specimen is known to play dragons, because they are obsessed with them. They often show up 75% into the game and hold the entire rest of the game with talking about NWN, of which it is obsessed and frequintly compares D&D to.
The player who suppossedly know how to play
This specimen has EVERY SINGLE ****ING BOOK yet still does not know how to play as they are too busy to read 1 PAGE! It usually bends the rules to his own use and talks the whole session.
This player plays Chaotic Good only to be evil in game.
But that's not how much...: an off shoot of rule lawering and treasure horder, "Alright that potion of cure mod will cost you 450 gold"
"But it's only 300 in the DMG"
"ya... they're over charging you cause some people are *******s and rates change from town to town..."
"but the DMG says..."
"can I see the DMG?" *hands the DMG to me*
"*throws DMG across the room* 450 take it or leave it, you didn't ***** when they undercharged you in the last town."
Life is so hard: they spend 15 minutes coming up with a basic plan and when the NPCs use a predetermined stratagy that counters their plan they get ****** cause I as the DM should have changed their plan to acomidate. (I do this sometimes if its a really clever plan and they work really hard on it but see the example below)
"there are gaurds in the room, they saw us so they should pop out in a second, lets drop caltrops and wait with our crossbows at the ready."
"you wait... and wait... and wait... but no one comes."(The NPCs slip out the back door and go down the near by hallways to try to flank PCs entering the room but instead catch them waiting in the hallway)
"Cass make me a reflex save to gain your dex to AC as he fires from behind you"
"OH COME ON MAN OUR PLAN WAS PERFECT"
"Not perfect enough"
"But I rearange my villans plans all the time for you guys"
"and since you're being a dick about it, nevermind the rulebending save I was allowing you."
8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
...perhaps i am a BoVD freak.....
the party killed a dragon, ok? They were counting treasure and XP while i took off the dragon's heart,brain,fingers ect.the other guys laughed the sh*t outta them lol
This one might have been mentioned already, but here goes anyway:
The Spotlight hog: We used to have a player in our group who couldn't stand not being in the middle of whatever storyline was happening at the time. If the plot didn't focus on his character, he'd find a way to sieze control. He always tried to be leader of the group (despite being bad at it and the rest of the PC's disliking his character), acted like he was an expert on any relevant subject (despite not really understanding the game rules), and, if the plot focused on one of the other PC's, suddenly was that person's best buddy (even when the PC made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with him).
He also suffered from the "The same but different" character syndrome. It was to the point were he described potential characters as "The same as (insert previous PC) only tall and a fighter." It wouldn't have bothered anyone if the character personality he always used didn't suck.
The Fig Nazi: If you touch this guys mini with out his permission you die.
The Artist: Has got the attention span of about 5 seconds before he starts to doodle on what ever is closest. Guilty :D
I'm sure there is some more but I can't think of them now.
(I have been guilty of it, before the rest of the group told me how annoying it was! haha)
The Artist: Has got the attention span of about 5 seconds before he starts to doodle on what ever is closest. Guilty :D
I have one better.
The ***** Artist: (That word begins with P) He pays attention for about 5 seconds before he strarts doodling, and the main subject of his doodles are male anatomy.
One of the reasons I want to get pot banned from that game, but he draws them even sober.
The OhEmGee a Gurl in da Gamez Stoar Lol Grlz kant play Dee n Dee: Self explanatory? I think so.
The Ultimate Master of Supreme Indomitable Power: This individual is like no powergaming min-maxer/template-smasher you've ever encountered, his character so awesome and powerful and his prowess is as such that has never and will never be seen again in one-thousand years. You know, the half-ogre mage1/barbarian1 who can concievably do damage in excess of 500 in one round, though he fails to inform you that it takes him 4 rounds to perform the necessary actions that will allow him to do that (at which point combat is either done, or everyone but him is dead). He is the most amazing one-pump-chump, the greatest one-shot master in the history of PnP gaming, and he's so inefficient at it that you wanna kill him, but you can't, because he has 170 HP at level 2 - so you cry instead. The only way to really kill this character is to use social skills/situational damage, I.E. "Trust me oh Mighty Grugg of the most Venerble Ogres, there are diamonds the size of your fist down that DC 45 climb cliff (+5 during this particular rainstorm, +10 due to low visibility, +15 due to the high winds), and don't worry this is a MAGIC rope, so you have absolutely no risk of falling."
Enemy of the New, Destroyer of the Unknown: His wrath be known, the New and the Unknown should fear this man, he will give no quarter, he will suffer no questions, and will brook no disregard/respect. In-game their attempts on the life of the New and the Unknown will be relentless, his hatred unbound. Ever seen a Cleric try to kill a Lawful Good Wizard of the same religious faith for no apparent reason? You may have witnessed an Enemy of the New/Destroyer of the Unknown in action.
The New, Unknown player: Not technically a "worst player" to have in game, but they're either new and inexperienced D&D players, or they're new to the group and aren't aware of the superficial "pecking order". Either way, from the most innocent question about BAB to the most harmless interruption in a conversation will spark a fire that won't be extinguished for the duration of the game session.
And without further ado, my personal favorite...
The Manager: He's the judge, jury and executioner of all party actions. So, the elderly magic shop owner is clearly gouging prices on the healing potions he has in stock - so you successfuly talk him down to nearly half the price, next thing you know - The manager is informing you that you've just lost your LG alignment and all your Paladin skills - because you just ripped off an old man (the level 12 Sorcerer who has a chokehold on all magic and alchemy in the town, and clearly gouges). He's a literalist, core-*****, and if it isn't black and white in the PH or DMG - it isn't allowed, there's no such thing as flexibility or interpretation, and anything that constitutes such is, in his factual opinion: gay, stupid, stupidly gay, gaily stupid and downright retarded. He's the delegator of skills and their usage: feeling its necessary to inform the cleric that he needs to heal, the fighter that he should stick the pointy end in the squishy part of the bad guys, and remind rogue that he can, should, and inevitably will disarm traps and unlock doors. Being disregarded, ignored, or downright disobeyed will cause his blood to boil - chances are he'll get visibly upset, and throw a tantrum, putting the game on hold, possibly indefinitely.
I dont care about you: This is the spotlight stealer ... cubed... no mater what alignment or class. "Please (random name) the noble pally, can your holyness lobbist me some healing from thine gigantic pool of lay on hand...ness due to thine crazy Charisma and the fact that you are 5 lvls higher then me?" response? "No, why should I? I don't need you, no one here does and helping you would put me at risk and I am the only person holding this plot line together so suck it up and run, resserect or re-roll." Strangely the DM seems to give him everything he wants... like a +5 Robe of Bad***ery with a blue flame weapon that he can shape to anything he wants with a +5 enhancement and a cloak of +6 Cha... but dies every other session and comes back stronger then anyone can imagine...
I dont care: oh you have something important and delicate to deal with? oh well i am here to mess it all up and when confronted about it? "I don't care, its just a game"... not a bad player, just makes the Dumbest roll playing mistakes and doesn't ever care to get better at it. doesn't stop you from wanting to re-arrange his limbs...
Didnt see that in the books (failed bluff cheak): so yea... Regular DM, reams players for cheating or bending the rules because it makes them to powerful... but when he plays, he cant stand being on par with everyone... he must be the best. Abuses classes, skills feats, spells or lies about them to do just that. Can apparently hold about 60 hd worth of undead under his command.... at lvl 8... because he didn't see a few small details in the feats he has, though he owns the books and spends hours on end creating his character. "Sudden Metamagic? well it doesn't say you cant apply more then 1 to one spell at one time so eat a quickened, maximized, empowered fireball.". will Probably kill you if you stand in his way to glory and power... even though he is LG. He can Role-Play it in... you know he can.
last and sadly not least
Critical Falure Man!: the opposite of Mr. Critical... if you roll a 1 nothing is to far out of the realm of physics for him to imagine happens to you. Its also never funny... to anyone but him... ADD anyone? the only time this was funny was when he couldn't think of anything when my vary first rolls in D+D were three 1s on a row... his head nearly exploded with possibilities...
This player sits around all day long on message boards complaining about things such as character generation methods, hit points, height and weight, etc.
All of the nonsense this pseudo-player types about comes back to one thing: he/she wants total control over things that really should be out of their control; die outcome. This player wants to be the best at everything and he is willing to whine to get his way. Dice are something this player hates because they always thwart the player's narcissistic behavior time and time again.
This player wants to control everything, even the DM and the very makers of the game, which is why his/her rants here exist; to make others "come around" to his/her way of thinking via excessive whining by way of dozens of threads stating the player's one-sided, and often wrong, opinion over and over again.
~~~
-Selena
The "I love camping" Player: This player is too cheap to spend money to stay at the inn and prefers to set up a tent in a park or in the streets. Of course the guards come to him and put him in jail for a day or two, but he does it again and again... even if his character is a noble !
-Selena
LoL!
~~~
The Food Hog
Food hogs rarely bring any form of snacks, but they will always bring something for themselves, like a large drink, and a big sandwich, or something that is just awkward to share, or something that costs alot and you feel bad for asking for some (ie. expensive chocolate). Another common trait, is they will grab the source of food and keep it to themselves for a while (ie. grabbing a bag of chips, and munching down on it with minimal stops for air intake, while everyone else is left chipless)
The Hopeless Gamer
I've seen a few of these. Hopeless Gamers enjoy playing D&D as much as possible, but never understand ANYTHING about the game. They will common not pay attention to the adventure to read the books, though they forget everything overnight. If their character sheets are left alone for too long, ridiculous bonuses will start appearing, though not through malicious intent, just through idiocy. (ie. "Wait, I thought I gained armor, shield, dex, BaB, and Tumble on AC.")
The Wrecker
The Wrecker joins games for one reaosn only: to destroy them. He does not care about the fun of others, or not. His goal is to find the Achilles Heel of you rgame, and insert a monkey wrench. He may hide behind a facade of 'it's what my character would do!' but most just s**** and watch with pleasure the consternation of the rest of the group as they realise that the Wrecker's character has just cut right through the rope bridge over the magma pit with everyone - himself included - on it!
This player comes to the game to spread his occult beliefs in numerology, so-called "kemetic science", Dune, the hidden powers of the Jedi, or just about any other pseudoscientific discourse he/she is infatuated with. This kind of player is usually a self-appointed member of some new age cult that claims humans were the product of alien technology and thus is always trying to "insert' this angle into your game.
You will stare in wonder as this player snatches words from other languages giving them a new occult spin, and then using these terms in your game. One of my games included a "I'ALAN BU" which the player claimed was from a "sacred language" he learned in ancient Sumer. He told me it means "The High One" and that he achieved this "knowledge" after spending three days in an ethereal world wherein he fought psychic aliens that attacked him without touching him. Yes, he was--and is---insane.
This player would always try to write his "secret order" into our games. I eventually told him that he cannot write any background since he knows "nothing" about the game; but honestly I was trying to get him out his self-created twilight zone.
~~~
This guy is absurdly paranoid and cannot keep player knowledge vs. character knowledge separate.
I want to do something secret, so I pass the DM a note.
The Suspicious Meta-Gamer immediately announces "I don't trust his character, so I will watch him extra close from now on."
You ask him why his character all of a sudden doesn't trust your character, and he replies "You're up to something. I saw you pass a note to the DM."
Although this guy CAN be fun to mess with from time to time...
One player we had could not handle it. At all. Two stories stand out from the rest. Both in an evil campaign.
1. The group has killed a blacksmith, and is walking into the shop, taking easily hidden weapons and armors. Decent idea, fine, they'll get some small masterwork weapons, and a load of darts and shurikens. Then, it's his chance.
Player "I pickpocket the halberd off the wall!"
Everyone Else "They'll see it when you walk out!"
Player "No they wont, I'll hide it in my shirt!"
Everyone Else "It's taller then you!"
I think he tried it, I said it wont work, and he kept arguing they couldn't see it. He didn't understand that Halberd is larger then a Shuriken. He wouldn't understand it. Next event, the players just robbed a bank. And failed miserably. Mainly because the bank robbery started out with the rogue (dressed in a hooded cloak and holding a scythe, with his face hidden) announcing he'd like to open an account. What type of account? ALL OF THEM! ::Ker-Kill the clerk:: Needless to say, it all ended badly, and the group fled the bank, and tried to jump from the roof of one building to another. The players character failed the jump check, and a guard put a sword to his throat.
Guard: Put down your weapon, or die!
Player: Police can't do that! That's brutality!
Me (DM): It's *not* the real world. They can.
Guard: I'm counting to ten!
Player: He can't kill me! It's illegal!
Me: Not in this world. You just killed HOW MANY innocents and guards in front of this guy?
Guard:10...
Player: No! He can't!
Guard:9...
You get the idea. So, his head is cut off. And he refuses to die. As in "I can't be dead." I tell him that that is not an option, and he announces that his next character will be exactly the same and have the same memories.
It was horrible.
This guy thinks that all PC's are functionally retarded. If a PC shows any form of reasoning or problem solving skills they are metagaming. He actually yelled at my Int 14 Fighter for metagaming when he came up with a strategy that wasn't "Krug Smash!" It wouldn't even be that funny if he didn't do this for every character at the table.
The Wrecker
The Wrecker joins games for one reaosn only: to destroy them. He does not care about the fun of others, or not. His goal is to find the Achilles Heel of you rgame, and insert a monkey wrench. He may hide behind a facade of 'it's what my character would do!' but most just s**** and watch with pleasure the consternation of the rest of the group as they realise that the Wrecker's character has just cut right through the rope bridge over the magma pit with everyone - himself included - on it!
On a side note: This one is hilarious if you have a very clever DM. I've seen the Wrecker reduced to tears when the DM constantly outmaneuvered him and mocked his not-so-subtle attempts. DM later said it was some of the most fun he had and it was like playing chess against someone who didn't seem to understand the rules (even though they insisted they did).
The Hardcore Houseruler
I have nothing against house rules (as long as they are reasonable). I've played in campaigns where things were changed for better or worse to fit the story. It didn't bother me that much. But then again, I'm not talking about the DM in this player-type. This player has played and DMed with a group of people for years. Upon joining a new group, he doesn't accept the fact that they don't play by his house rules.
DM: "The ogre mage steps away from you and begins casting a spell."
Player: "I'm going to challenge his initiative and attack him before he can move." (Promptly grabs his d20 and rolls initiative)
Yes, this actually happened in a group I was in. The player insisted that he could challenge the opponent to an initiative every single instance even when the DM said "no". Surprise, surprise, this player had a +11 to initiative! It was so annoying listening to the player try to justify that he used to have a house rule that let him do that. Every campaign. Every session. Every encounter. Every round. Every turn. He doesn't play with us any more. Read on to find out why.
The Shy Dice
Not always related to the player above (but in my instance, the same), this player is one of the worst cheaters. When other people can see his rolls, he rolls nothing above mediocre. When people can't see his rolls, though, he rolls nothing short of his threat range. My experience with this player is that the worse the situation, the more consecutive 20s he'll roll. Want to know the chances that someone will roll 7 natural 20s in one full attack? If you have this player in your group, it's 100%. Well needless to say, when the DM announced a rule at the beginning of a session that all rolls not made in visual sight of the DM are considered null and void, this player QUIT the group because if he couldn't roll on the "lucky coffee table" next to him, he wasn't going to be able to play.
The CRPG/Final Fantasy Syndrome
This is the type of player that can only fit in with other CRPGers. The problem he has is that if the session doesn't involve fighting, he's probably going to leave half ways through. He refuses to roleplay in the least and he is constantly under the belief that because something is in front of him, he can kill it, because it "wouldn't make sense" for them to be in a situation where they may die if they pick a fight. They died. A lot. He was out of the group after his 3rd session. 6 TPKs. All his fault. He blends in very well with the immature a-hole player-type. He'll generally put himself into situations where he tries to kill everyone not in the party, but usually ends up getting the rest of the party killed.
The Grey Area Exploiter
Player: "I'm going to use prestidigitation to suffocate him by forcing sand into his mouth and down into his throat."
DM: "You can't."
Player: "Why not? It doesn't explicitly say I can't."
These are the players that need to have every little thing wrote out for them. If everything isn't explicitly stated for them, they'll try to exploit it. While some of them are fun to play with, lots of them slow the action down to 1/10 what it should be.
The Super Chain Smoker
This is the smoker that has to take a smoke break 4-5 times per hour. Just when the game starts picking up, it is slowed back down by this player stepping outside to have a smoke break. The DM either has to choose to wait or keep going. If he waits, everyone is bored. If he goes on, he asks for an explanation of what happened, once he gets it, the DM picks up where he left off. Once the momentum is starting to build, smoke break! Ah, the joy.
The Clone of Himself
I'm sure quite a few DMs have come up against this. Some have even house-ruled against it (as I have). This is a player that dies a lot. When he dies, he erases his EXP, sets his level back to 1, then calls it a new character. Same exact character, same exact name, same exact history. If having the same class is house-ruled against, this player will sometimes create a new character, commit suicide, then expect to be able to go back to his/her original.
This is the guy/girl who's entire character revolves around summoning as much as possible. Would only be mildly annoying if it was done well, but the Inept Summoner will only start thumbing through thier personal copy of the Monster Manual when it comes to thier turn, taking forever to pick something to summon. Can never remember how many rounds are left on each duration of the multiple summonings in play. Has to keep referencing the Manual each turn to see what the attack bonus and damage is for each of dozens of creatures in play. Combat slows to a CRAWL.
#whatever number this thread is up to: The Inept Summoner
This is the guy/girl who's entire character revolves around summoning as much as possible. Would only be mildly annoying if it was done well, but the Inept Summoner will only start thumbing through thier personal copy of the Monster Manual when it comes to thier turn, taking forever to pick something to summon. Can never remember how many rounds are left on each duration of the multiple summonings in play. Has to keep referencing the Manual each turn to see what the attack bonus and damage is for each of dozens of creatures in play. Combat slows to a CRAWL.
Tell them to play a shaper psion...
They just get custom options to add to the only thing they will ever summon (astral construct)
Tell them to play a shaper psion...
They just get custom options to add to the only thing they will ever summon (astral construct)
And they'll take twice as long to decide on which abilities to add at the table and never write out the stats in advance anyway.
Oh, sorry, were we talking about stereotypes?
Thie kind of player is a complete dullard in that he takes eight whole hours to create a character. This kind of player holds up the game by sitting there staring at the book as if the book will magically create the character for them.
It is obvious that they are too stupid to understand the d20 ruleset but pride and a fool's arrogance will have them telling you "No, I am alright. Yeah I know..." each time you attempt to help them "speed up" the process.
Forget about the entire two weeks you gave them to think up a character concept and a build. These guys will "still" take hours to make up a simple character, like a fighter with a Greatsword. This just don't want to admit they have no idea what they are doing thus they play the role of the pseudoexpert acting as if they are "crafting" their character for eight hours straight.
Give us a break! We all know you are psuedointellectuals.
~~~
The Hardcore Houseruler
I have nothing against house rules (as long as they are reasonable). I've played in campaigns where things were changed for better or worse to fit the story. It didn't bother me that much. But then again, I'm not talking about the DM in this player-type. This player has played and DMed with a group of people for years. Upon joining a new group, he doesn't accept the fact that they don't play by his house rules.
DM: "The ogre mage steps away from you and begins casting a spell."
Player: "I'm going to challenge his initiative and attack him before he can move." (Promptly grabs his d20 and rolls initiative)
Yes, this actually happened in a group I was in. The player insisted that he could challenge the opponent to an initiative every single instance even when the DM said "no". Surprise, surprise, this player had a +11 to initiative! It was so annoying listening to the player try to justify that he used to have a house rule that let him do that. Every campaign. Every session. Every encounter. Every round. Every turn. He doesn't play with us any more. Read on to find out why.
I had a guy like this, his name was John. He had some rule where he re-roleed hit points or something like that; in his game that is.
The funny thing is when he started gaming with my group he tried to do the same thing. No "You mind if I do this?" or "Maybe this rule might be good. What do you think?" just picked up the die and started rolling his way.
Of course he did not last long, I started calling him on everything, docking XP for out of character nonsense, PCs reacted aggressively to his narcississtic playing style. Soon he got the picture and before we could embarass him anymore he left the group. The sun seemed to shine brighter that day...
Another guy chose to use the point buy system, I use 28 points, he then whined over and over again that in the KoToR video game they let him use 30 and so silently stating I should do the same. This guy was seriously passive-aggressive and was a big loser.
~~~
Hey, I'm not a Gynecologist...
#161 - The Historian
He Won't stop talking about history, noting how X weapon was never used like that, and that 'historically, the defense of a castle calls for blah blah de blah', also likes to note how 'That's not a Glaive-guisarme, it's a Blah blah blah, and is primarily made for blah'
Tends to make other people zone out and hear nothing but blah-blahblah.
Guilty. So guilty that I actually talked the DM in a 2E FR game I'm in to let me play a Viking from Denmark.
This guy has been playing in the same group, in the same game, for the last six weeks that I know of. Okay, he's never played D&D before.
But every time he has to make any roll - even if he made the same roll ONE MINUTE AGO - he has to ask, "What do I roll for that?"
Every. Freaking. Time.
"What do I roll for initiative?"
"What do I roll for damage?"
"Is this a d10?" (no, I am not making this up)
"Do I add anything to it?"
"How do I roll a Spot check?"
"Do I have ranks in Spot?"
:headexplo :hoppingma And guess who's the bunny who has to help him out...
I'm not talking neutral, evil, or any other alignment. Litterally, he plays his character with a total ignorance of the existence of morality.
Example.
"I'd like to stabilize the wounded barmaid."
"Okay. Make a heal check." *Rolls a 4 on a +1 bonus.* "You fail to stabilize her."
"Okay. Can I kill her?"
"... why?"
"Because I can't heal her."
Picture that scene with four other players yelling in disbelief not to kill her.
She was a willing enough player, though she needed a nudge every now and again. But her heart really wasn't in it; she had more shelf space taken up with her Yu-Gi-Oh card folders than I do with all my roleplaying books (and over the years, I've bought over 90 roleplaying books). And in the middle of a game, she would bring out one of these folders and rearrange the cards in them.
But the worst incident was when the GM had decided she was distracted because she didn't have anything to do. So he specifically set it up so that her character was the one that picked up the vital clue that would save the day.
Her response?
"Oh, okay," and she kept on playing the Nintendo. AT THE TABLE. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME.
We waited.
Finally, I said, "Uh, Suzie, you want to let the rest of our characters know?"
Okay, it was said a little sharply, but then I was a little annoyed.
Then the GM's girlfriend turned to me and said, "Ease up on her, will you?"
"I," I said, "am not the one playing Nintendo at the table while everyone waits on a plot-hinging bit of info to be passed around."
That's when the GM bit the bullet and told her to put it down.
They moved a while later. They don't roleplay any more. She still collects Yu-Gi-Oh, though.
This offender is also known as the guy who won't get off the phone with his girlfriend for ten consecutive minutes on gameday.
"Look, pal, it's great that you're in love and all, but we just got ambushed by a swarm of hobgoblins and you're the one with the greatsword--so shut up and start swinging."
Also, because he's on the phone the whole game, all noncombat situations boil down to him saying "Huh? Oh... I, uh... follow the rogue. No, baby, the waitress should have taken it back..."
If I wanted to sit around watching you talk to your girlfriend, I'd go to her house.
------------------
"Screw y'all, I'm not getting killed"
He's the one playing the Cleric with Healing domain, and a wand of Cure Light Wounds. He's got a 44 AC at 2nd level.
But every time there's a combat... Where's the Cleric? Oh, that's right, he took off back the way we came.
"If anybody needs a healing spell, just drag your broken a55 back out of the dungeon 600 feet. I'll be the one in platemail."
------------------
My dad is actually this guy. He'll read through the manual, take notes, and if you are stuck on a complex rule, he'll give it to you as a direct quote from the book he read a week ago.
You don't know the counter for Walk Silently on broken glass in a church 20 feet away from the listening target, but he can give you an exact DC.
Then, he will completely halt game play by forgetting how many times he can attack in a turn. Or even how to attack. "I use the d20? Because it says here next to 'damage' I use a d8..."
Everything's going great; the characters are meshing well, we're strolling through an encounter, we know what we're supposed to say (and what we're not supposed to say), we know our goal, it's in sight...
... and then he opens his mouth and spills the beans. In detail. To the guy who's likely to make the most use of it.
"YOU [insert expletive here] WHAAAAT???"
"Oh, I thought that would be a better way of doing it."
:headexplo Same guy: the Inept Telepath
You know the saying - "Never play mind games with a telepath."
Well, you're safe playing mind games against this guy. We're interrogating this guy; he's a thug of a fairly powerful villain, but he's up in the heirarchy, so we've got the telepath (who is supposed to just stand there and pretend to be intimidating) standing by to read his mind while we ask leading questions - just to get him to think about the answers, you see.
And I thought we were all on the same page.
Until the VERY FIRST time we asked the thug a question, and he lied - and the telepath shouted, "Ah HA! That's a lie! I see the correct answer in your mind!"
His usefulness as an interrogation tool? Gone.
The Macguyver Wannabe: This is the guy who puts several ranks in craft skills in order to use them in completely nonsensical ways, e.g. "can I use my craft (weaponsmith) skill to make a firebomb out of a flask of lamp oil and some rope?" Keep in mind that he asks about all of this DURING COMBAT!
At current count there are two PrCs for this (trapsmith, and combat trapsmith, and one base class (the artificier, just reflavor his infusions).
On a side note: This one is hilarious if you have a very clever DM. I've seen the Wrecker reduced to tears when the DM constantly outmaneuvered him and mocked his not-so-subtle attempts. DM later said it was some of the most fun he had and it was like playing chess against someone who didn't seem to understand the rules (even though they insisted they did).
I know. I have too. Beautiful isn't it?
The Sulker
The Buttinsky
The player who, if a question is asked of the DM, will jump in and answer the question himself. This is general pet peeve of mine anyway (in that this person interrupts conversations that he was not involved in to answer questions not directed towards him), but it particuarly irritates me, especially since the person in my group who does this is often either wrong or misinformed.
Incredibly Annoying Rogue
This is the guy who you do not kill because you need his Disable Device and Open Lock skills. If you could solve that problem, he'd be the victim of a mob slaying by the ENTIRE party (if the DM didn't kill him first). He is really annoying. An offshoot is the kind that merely RPs this. They are slightly more manageable.
CN-Evil touched guy
This guy borders on Chaotic Evil. The only reasons he is not chaotic evil are:
The DM is restricting him
The guy is rather insane, which makes him CN, not CE
On the bright side, he is only REALLY annoying if you are a paladin. And he is more tolerable if he also is a powerful character. I have one of these right now - and I am a paladin.
I hear you, brother!
#207: The Compulsive Self-Buffer
ROUND 1
[Barbarian] "Holy Sh*t! They are coming! #207, cast a Wall, one of your sorceries...STOP THEM!!!!"
[Cleric] "Ugh...I'm hurt...and I'm running out of spells..."
#207: "I cast Mage Armor upon myself".
ROUND 2
[Ranger] "Someone help me! I can't make head alone against all those monsters!"
[Bard] "Aaah...this hurts..."
#207: "I cast Bear's Endurance upon myself".
ROUND 3
[Cleric] "Things are getting tough...another bunch of monsters is coming from that corridor!!!"
[Bard] "AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHhhhhhhhhh..." [*dies*]
[Ranger] "Someone blast them away!!!!!!..."
#207: "Uhm...no. I think I'll have Fox's Cunning cast upon myself".
ROUND 4
[Cleric] "It's the End: my soul rises up to reach the embrace of Kelemvor...may His Blessing protect you, my friends..." [*dies*]
[Barbarian] "#207, Could you give some valuable support, you mo
#207: "I cast Shield..."
[Barbarian] "Finally!"
#207: "...upon myself"
[Barbarian] "D'OH!"
I played in a campaign where the halfling sorcerer would always cast Spider Climb on himself, every single first round of combat. Even sometimes just during exploration he'll cast Spider Climb.
It got to the point we found slippers of spider climbing in treasure. Everyone agreed that goes to the halfling.
I played in a campaign where the halfling sorcerer would always cast Spider Climb on himself, every single first round of combat. Even sometimes just during exploration he'll cast Spider Climb.
It got to the point we found slippers of spider climbing in treasure. Everyone agreed that goes to the halfling.
Sounds to me like lynching the halfling and selling the slippers would be more productive ....
#236 I just got a new book!
This player turns up with a book they bought that day and insist it be integrated into play immediately. They've got loads a new character based on half the contents, and spend the rest of the session looking stuff up as they have no idea how it works...
Yeah, me, kinda, with respect to new books coming out or just one particular book already published. I don't pout if told no, but I will make the request.
#243: The Tactless One: This player will inevitably say the worst thing possible for the situation. Example from my campaign: The party is meeting with a high elven druid who's family was recently slaughtered by undead, and the first words out of the paladin's mouth are, "how are the wife and kids?"
We love him, but that's our rogue.
What number are we on now?
219: The "Balance" Fanatic
Constantly complains about the "twinks" and "munchkins in the groupand often wonders aloud when we'll ger around to "real role-playing" instead of "roll-playing," but that's only the icing on the cake:
#219 complains constantly that a particular race, class, feat, spell, or combination of the above is obviously broken, particularly when that option is used more than once by another player. Complains when the Psychic Warrior makes a more efficient "tank" than his Bard, or when the Cleric turns out to be a superior healer than his Wizard. Often makes rude comments about other players, and insists that the other PCs should be cut back to preserve "balance" because he intentionally created a mechanically-inferior character "for roleplaying reasons."
Believes that characters with critical weaknesses in areas vital to their role (Int 11 Wizard, Str 8 Fighter), are more "interesting" than competent characters with weaknesses outside their field of speciality.
As a DM, a #219 is exemplified by a mantra of "core rules only," but has no problem unveiling material from "unbalanced" resources to set against the PCs. Further, characters built to be useless and characters built to be useful will be equally screwed - useless characters because they're helpless, useful characters because #218 feels that the best cure for "munchkinism" is to hammer "twinkish" PCs into the ground with overwhelming force.
Oh man, college flashback. We were all having fun play GURPS Supers, but nooooo, because of him we now had to play GURPS Wild Cards and have Joker flaws. Out of spite I purposely played the same superhero type - become invisible and insubstantial. To bribe the DM, I mean qualify for bonus build points by having a Joker flaw, I took Always On disadvantage for insubstantial, and I got away with it. I refused to have an extra appendage or something else useless.
very hard to do anything around a paladin? Wrongo, bub. Granted, the paladin's not gonna want anything to do with anything even hinting of the barest evil, but that's HIS problem, not yours.
Player 1: So, instead of paying our guide his share of the 1000 000 Gp we found, let's slit his throat...
Paladin: (in a rigthous voice) No. It would be an evil cat. I won't allow it as long ...
Player 2: Too bad for you, pally. I'm slitting his throat.
Paladin: You miscreant, I'll...
Player 3: You'll shut up and play along. You can't take all of us at once. So shove it. You don't like it, go away
always remember that YOU have a right to roleplay your character too. no need to be especially nice just because a paladin happens to tag along. HE's the one under a code, not you. HE's the one who should suffer for it, not you.
Guess I'm irremidiably evil...
And just beacuse he's a paladin doesn't mean you should be p*****ing him off either.
#
One Track Mind Thinks his character is god's gift to womenkind. If it's female, he hits on it (even if it's the BBEG!) and persists until he succeeds. Almost certainly has never "scored" in RL.
[...
Our rogue, again, but the player is married, with kids. He's not like that in real life.
Also very annoying:
Players who have the incredible gift to: NEVER roll anything above 7 or 8 on any given roll...
I don't know how they manage it, but it's really freaky
Me, last game session, though 10 was my number. I rolled an 8 on a d20 three times in a row. Couldn't hit a thing. Always failed a save. Last hour of game time I rolled a 15 I think.
"Chaotic Neutral means I can do WHATEVER I want!" (including attack other PCs at whim)
People.
It's Chaotic NEUTRAL, not Chaotic STUPID.
Case in point.
Game a couple weeks ago, I was playing a CG dwarf, and in the party were two CN characters; a halfling rogue (no!) and a gnome illusionist (I think).
We were hired by a wizard to invade the tower of another wizard and steal something of great value - but we were not, under any circumstances, to harm the one person we would find on the premises, a young lady with green-dyed hair.
So we're sneaking in (sort of) and we notice the very person we are supposed to NOT HURT climbing down a rope outside the window.
So the halfling decides to punch her in the face. Dropping her 20 feet into the mud below (it was raining). She gets up and starts to run away. The halfling goes, "I'll stop her!" and pulls his SLING out. My dwarf, right next to him, takes his attack of opportunity ... on the halfling. Wraps him up in a Grapple. We struggle for the next few rounds, while the gnome, who enters the room, decides that the halfling has to be in the right (despite a shouted explanation) and shoots a crossbow bolt at my character (thank goodness for a good AC - only thing that saved me). By the time the halfling's player realises he can use Escape Artist to get out of the grapple, then actually manages it only after a lucky series of rolls by me, the girl is well away.
Well, okay, she isn't. Despite her huge head start, another PC somehow manages to get ahead of her, while the halfling is climbing out the window and crossing the same distance in an amazing turn of speed - and then he SNEAK ATTACKS her. The one way he can do maximum damage, and he does it to the person who he's supposed to NOT HARM.
So now we can't go back to the city, as both the wizard we were working for, and the wizard we were stealing from, both want our heads....
And the player of the halfling still maintains that he did nothing wrong - he was just "playing his alignment".
And the player of the halfling still maintains that he did nothing wrong - he was just "playing his alignment".
Did the DM change his alignment to chaotic evil? After all there is no reason a chaotic neutral would have to attack this person and try to kill them.
Remember: Chaotic = Intuitive, emotional, inovative and creative. It does not mean homicidal, irrational, psychotic and self-destructive.
And the player of the halfling still maintains that he did nothing wrong - he was just "playing his alignment".
If a player did this in my game, they would be kicked out immediately. No discussion, no chance of return, and if they didn't leave soon, a distinct possibility of me calling the police to have the now unwelcome person removed.
The Outright Controller: This guy seems to think he's authorized to dictate your character's actions. At various times, in combat or out of it, he'll tell the DM what your character will do, as if it was his character. At other times, when you declare your action, he'll tell you you shouldn't do that, or he'll correct you by telling the DM what you *actually* do.
Usually he motivates his domineering with the claim that a party is supposed to work together as one unit, that we should cooperate, etc. Usually he also operates on the logic that everyone thinks like him.
Rogue: [to DM, while alone] I hide the gemstones in my inside pocket...
Controller: No you don't, we split everything equally!
Rogue: Uh, you don't see me do that, and you don't know I've found them...
Controller: I'll find out later anyway, so you can't do that.
The Overbearing Fighter-type: This guy thinks the game rotates around the guy with the sword. He'll always play a fighter or similar (sometimes a paladin, of the unbearable kind) with a big sword, and thinks he's the greatest ever. Everyone else is insignificant because they're not a fighter with a sword, and thus scorned. Wizards are obviously inferior because they don't even know how to handle a sword, and they cheat by using magic. Rogues, too, because they sneak around instead of fighting fairly. The fighter-type will usually try to push the 'inferiors' around, thinking he's the party leader. He'll happily hit other party members (usually not so much as to kill them, though) if they act cheeky. When the wizard finally snaps and blasts the guy, he'll get upset because 'you can't use magic on other party members!' and you're fighting unfairly. If you manage to subdue him, he'll later, much later, sneak up on the wizard in the night and tie him up in a sack to 'get even'.
Needless to say, he usually has fun, but no one else has. And if the DM favors the others and give him just desserts through DM karma (having himarrested, getting beaten up by nasties, etc.) he'll leave the game, complaining that it's not fun.
Oh, and this one... let's call him Mr Can-Do-No-Wrong: He will repeatedly make decisions and strategies that won't work because they either depend on rules working differently than usual (slow fall working even if you don't have anything to hang on to, spells giving bonuses not explicitly stated, automatically succeeding on reflex saves by saying 'I take cover'...) or completely ignoring certain situation knowledge (trying to take a shortcut through the woods which everyone knows is full of dire wolves that will kill him and the others). But this is just the tip of the ice berg.
When his plan fails, he'll challenge the fact to the DM. "It doesn't work like that!" Yes it does, but he'll argue until he realizes he can't win.
Then he argues that he wasn't informed of the fact/didn't know the rule. Yes, he was informed, but still, long argument.
Then he insists he should've been informed when he tried to do what he did. Which he was, but he kept insisting on leading the party to their death. (Why we followed I don't know... I guess we thought he had a secret plan.) More arguing.
Then he'll insist that the ruling was what he thought it was all along, but the DM confused him by not being explicit and MADE him think he could do that. More arguments.
Finally he accepts he was wrong, though he's now ****** and sulky... and he drops the final bomb... "So, since that would've been stupid, I never did that."
And guess how long all this ARGUING takes us? That's easily 30 min+ lost for no reason.
Fortunately he only gets away with this with one DM (because said DM tries to argue back). I don't let him, because I enforce DM dictatorship when these things are concerned.
Me: You didn't think, so things got effed up. Deal with it.
Him: But you can't--
Me: Deal with it. That's final. Case closed.
Him: I won't--
Me: Oh look, some more guards are coming. Maybe you should do something. What do you do?
Him: Seriously, it you should be able to use Improved Trip to--
Me: Ooh, that wasn't an action, so obviously you're just standing there. One of the guards hit you and you lose your last hp. How sad.
It's all fun and games until someone loses a class feature.
No ... I have seen this. These guys really play every game as brothers ,companions, twins, whatever - their backgrounds have them as bosom pals for years, they are inseperable. If one gets into trouble the other always backs them up (this can be bad if they decide to pick a fight with another party member). It works the first time, but then it gets wearing ... you start to wish that they would take a different character just ONCE. Because they alwasy take the same characters - two dwarf fighters, two elf rangers, or a paladin and a cleric, or a wizard and a thief ... ALWAYS .....
With me as a lawful good cleric and the rogue player, our characters never started as friends (not enemies either) but as the campaign progressed we just became best buddies. This happened in two different campaigns. We just somehow bonded even though in real life, while me and this player are friends, of course, we never see each other outside the game. He and the DM have known each other since high school, and I only know him because of the game.
For our now third campaign, everyone agreed to play the children of our previous characters (one player decided not too without malice). I'm playing a warlock this time, though the other is playing a rogue again. (Recently multiclassed to ranger and then will go into fighter and get into a home made prestige class.) Anyway, we decided just to cut out the middle man and start off the campaign as best buds. Our fathers were best buds, so it was only natural we grew up together.
We have our disagreements and are friends with the rest of the party, of course. We just click.
I've got a few that have undoubtably been mentioned in part, but here's another version.
The Boyfriend And Girlfriend
Either both players or gm and player, these two sucked. The boyfriend would give any advantages to the girlfriend he could, and if for some reason he couldn't give the advantage (dwarven SR for example) she would get very very very angry.
(Note: I am currently playing in a game with a couple who are the exact opposite of the two mentioned, so don't be discouraged from letting couples into games, just be sure they're good players to boot!)
I still shudder playing in a 2E game during college when the DM had a crush on a girl. It was her first D&D game. She could do absolutely no wrong. Anything she attempted the DM complimented her as part of "teaching" her the game. He never told me of his crush. I just got the impression based upon his behavior towards her outside the game. I did not get the impression she knew about this crush, even out of game. Still, it was nauseating.
(No, I did not have a crush on her myself. :P )
Rogue: [to DM, while alone] I hide the gemstones in my inside pocket...
Controller: No you don't, we split everything equally!
Rogue: Uh, you don't see me do that, and you don't know I've found them...
Controller: I'll find out later anyway, so you can't do that.
That's usually when a good DM will say "make a spot check" and/or "make a slight of hand check" and see if X was spotted.
The Overbearing Fighter-type
Swordchucks, yo! :D
Oh, and this one... let's call him Mr Can-Do-No-Wrong:
Me: You didn't think, so things got effed up. Deal with it.
Him: But you can't--
Me: Deal with it. That's final. Case closed.
Him: I won't--
Me: Oh look, some more guards are coming. Maybe you should do something. What do you do?
Him: Seriously, it you should be able to use Improved Trip to--
Me: Ooh, that wasn't an action, so obviously you're just standing there. One of the guards hit you and you lose your last hp. How sad.
Handled correctly. If you wanna be really diplomatic, you could say "we'll deal with it after the session" but that's giving more than he deserves.
Oh man, college flashback.
QUICK GET THE MESCALIN!
Although it's ALWAYS fun when you have an agreement with the DM beforehand saying "I will be playing a character who's sole aim in the campaign is to make sure the PCs fail without being discovered."
I haven't done this one in d&d much, but for some reason it seems to pop up 9 times out of 10 when I'm playing white wolf games.
I hate those players.
He forgets his character home, and decides to play without a character sheet. He remembers his race and class, quickly makes a rough statistics block out of the PH and puts all his ranks into three skills. So he plays with an underpowered character created as a shadow of its forgotten one.
'I haven't a character yet'
Actually this applies to ALL the people in the groups I played in the past. The DM says: 'On Sunday, we play. Create a character of level X and come at 10:00.' So I come on Sunday at 10:00 and find ALL OTHERS CREATING THEIR CHARACTERS. None but me bothered to create his character beforehand!
The Turn-Undead guy
Usually a CN priest of a 'cool' deity like Wee Jas, he turns everything on sight, even non-undead. In a campaign he tried to turn a vampire king that had a mission for us, BEFORE the poor guy had a chance to speak.
the Blonde player: Not her or his hair.
This one always tries to act like they don't know the rules just to get an extra bonus. They say, " So I add my dex mod on this melee att right." after you have told them 16 times this game that they can't add their +3 dex instead of their +1 str just because it is bigger. They also try to ask you things when your mind is working on something else just to get you to say yes and hope your not listening.
The Tactical Idiot
This guy makes the most idiotic decisions you've ever seen and expects them to succeed for no real reason. He often gets really loud and angry when reality or the dice disagree.
While playing in a futuristic game he didn't have any guns on his ship and was trying to shoot the enemy(a fortified research facility on an asteroid that had weapons) by putting on a bulky suit(NASA type, he couldn't afford better) tying himself to the roof and shooting at it with a revolver.
Him: OK, I'm gonna shoot it now.
Me: With what?
Him: My revolver what else?
Me: *stare*... OK, roll your attack, -20 due to range.
Him: That's ****-**** this is space there's no range and we're headed right at him!
Me: Then how is your pilot trying to dodge the shots?
Him: **** you! You know what I'm gonna jump at the asteroid!
Everyone else: What?!
Him: You heard me, look I rolled an 18 on my jump.
Me: OK... well given your speed due to the ship and the asteroids speed...
Him: What the **** are you talking about, I'm jumping there's no bonus speed.
Me+another player in my Physics class: Actually momentum and speed transfer, you won't be accelerating or turning but the speeds still there.
Him: Fine what ever how much damage do I take?
Me: *rolling 8d6* Uhh, you got off really lucky, only 9 damage.
Him: ****, I'm almost dead you *******.
Me: Well the turrets turning toward you now. It's around 300 feet away.
Him: I'm gonna run up and dive under the barrel!
Me: You can't do that, you natural speed is 35 and the suit slows you down to 15.
Him: Then I'm gonna shoot it.
At this point the game ended with him yelling a lot about being almost dead.
The No-Team Player
For whatever reason this person can not get along with the rest of the group outside one or two people. They'll frequently split up the group because they don't like the others.
This is the exact same guy as the above. In that case he and the guy who owned the spaceship decided to find a bounty and investigate by themselves(rolled a natural 1 on both checks) and came upon the asteroid as his hideout. Despite the other characters being a police investigator(who could've both used his weapons and connection to verify things), a rival government's hacker(owned a large ship with actual weapons), and a mercenary with a proper space suit he decided to try this alone.
Mr. Golden Rule
(someone new) Playing with MGR is fine up until something happens that he doesn't like. At that point he'll start yelling about the golden rule being that you're supposed to have fun with the game.
MGR: That's stupid, I shouldn't have died there.
Me: You broke into a man's shop after
warning him about it with 2hp left!
MGR: The golden rule says I survive.
Me: Too bad, you're dead.
MGR: No that's not fun the games supposed to be fun! The Golden Rule sa-
Me: Shut the *** up about the Golden Rule! You did something really stupid and that's the price!
MGR: Well my character should be revived it's ****-**** he died.
Me: Shut up and let everyone else play!
During this I was really angry but he'd been doing this for the past 3 sessions about having no health left. We were using the White Wolf system and he was filled with aggravated damage.
The "Real" Role-Player
Same guy as MGR, this person can't have a character that's effective at anything. Fighter with STR 8 DEX 11 CON 7 who insists on being the party tank. Wizard with 11 INT. Also anyone who does anything well is a meta-gaming min/maxer who should be kicked from the group of have a curse on him.
That's usually when a good DM will say "make a spot check" and/or "make a slight of hand check" and see if X was spotted.
Oh, we do that. Doesn't stop him from trying to use his meta-knowledge anyway, or sometimes just mistreat your character in retaliation. Usually backs it up with vague statements of "having a hunch".
DM: It's late at the inn, what do you do?
Paladin: I go to my room, pray, then go to sleep.
Rogue: I gamble a bit. After I while, I check to make sure he's asleep, before sneaking out to check that mansion we saw...
Paladin: I get up and go to intercept him and bring him back to the inn. He's not going to steal anything.
DM: But you were asleep. You don't know what he's going to do.
Paladin: I couldn't sleep. Really. Besides, I want to keep an eye on him, just in case. Can't trust him.
DM: Uh huh. You did nothing of this sort the last three towns you were in, and didn't he save your life?
Handled correctly. If you wanna be really diplomatic, you could say "we'll deal with it after the session" but that's giving more than he deserves.
That's standard procedure, really, since I want everyone to be on the level. But once the game is over, the people who aren't involved can go home if they want. When the game is running, rules-lawyering and bickering is time-consuming and just ruins it for the others. So the DM will have to push his authority, even if one or two guys get ****** off.
Admittedly, it's a nice ego trip to be able to throw your weight around like that. ^_^ And I really like the "I'll send more monsters if you don't shut up" tactic. True cause and effect. And if he doesn't take the hint, have him forfeit his action if he keeps complaining, and let the anti-whiner squad beat him up.
Have the rogue take a different room in the inn to the paladin ("because he keeps lookin' at me funny").
Lock the door.
Go out the window.
Inform the GM of his destination by note.
If the paladin wants to go out hunting for him, no problem; the rogue's in his room, going through his gear.
"What? I never took any of your stuff. I was in my room with my door locked, all night. Fast asleep. As you were, I presume?"
:D
Never backs off an inch. Will fight any monster to the bitter end; "I might die, but I'll take him with me!" Usually doesn't. Often needs rescuing. Never understands the concept of "retreat now, come back later when stronger". Can drag the party into one of his knock-down drag-out fights; when one of the less combat-capable characters goes down hard, he still doesn't get the hint. His usual motto is, "We can't surrender; they'll just kill us instead of taking us prisoner."
Singlehandedly causes TPKs far in excess of most other character types.
The Character-less Player
He forgets his character home, and decides to play without a character sheet. He remembers his race and class, quickly makes a rough statistics block out of the PH and puts all his ranks into three skills. So he plays with an underpowered character created as a shadow of its forgotten one.
And the variation who seems to shift in feats and skills ("Don't worry, I know exactly what my character has!") as the need moves him. Keep a close eye on this one; he's liable to end up using three times as many feats as he really has.
This guy goes all-out when you say you're doing a one-shot high level adventure. He has a thri-kreen multiweapon fighting kineticist with 13 attacks... and can't do the math for it. His round is as long as everyone else's put together - and that's after we gave him a calculator.
Heh, no... not the worst, but it's funny to tease him.
Takes every possible opotunity to talk to you about the campaign or D&D in general and is generally a nice guy, but only ever actualy shows up every one out of three session and then makes you recite every roll that was made during the sessions he wast there.
The what the hell is that? gamer
Common quotes of the what the hell is that? gamer:
Hold on let me check my monster manual.
What do I need for this save/check?
How come I cant.......?
I havnt read the rules for this so can we stop for 20 minutes so I can flick through this book, not find it then ask you guys to explain?
(I have only played a couple of sessions so I am guilty of some of these things but I know some gamers who have been playing for years and still do this)
#XXXX: The distracted worshiper of anime and sexual behavior
Insists on having a character that has a level of every freggin' class, then when it's time to actually play, they get distracted by a phone call, or email or something, and lord forbid you start without them and there gigantic multiclassing penalties. Also, mine happens to be an anime maniac to, so he goes away at the beggining of the match to watch some gay looking show about some tie-die hared freak from japan with a giant emo porpoise for a sidekick, and insists that his character, because of having a level in druid, has an army of evil porpoises! That are all emo! That guy freggin ****** me off! Hes just such a winy little
! And on top of it all, he always plays a girl who just WONT wear clothing of any kind save a miniskirt that is made of blue plaid and a white shirt on top, and insists on being 8 years old, an elf, and having a strength score of 150 because " In this one show i saw this elfish looking guy lifted a flippin meteor over his freggin head!" Example:DM (Me): You walk into the tavern, what do you do.
C.J.(him): I take off my shirt.
DM: Why are you being a pervert?
C.J. I'm not, thats the traditional greeting in (insert third world country, or japan)
DM: Stop lying, C.J.
C.J.: I'm not, i saw it on TV!
DM: You freggin retard, its fake! The barkeeper shoots your heart through your pervy chect with a crossbow, inflicting 800d12 +1000 damage because that crossbow is cursed by erythnul!
C.J.: no way, people give you money when you do that!
DM: NO THEY DONT!
C.J. Fine, i summon my army of giant emo porpoises to kill him. My constitution score is (insert million digit number here)
DM: You
! You freggin cheater! Fine, a reincarnation of tiamat kills your freggin porpoises, and uses there bodies as cannonballs to kill you.C.J: I catch the first porpoise, and throw it back. My strength score is (Insert con. score x a million) So i do (rolls a d4) 8 billion points of damage.
DM: The dragon catches it in his red dragon heads moth, cooks it, and then hits you with it for (insert number equal to double his strength score)! If that doesn't kill you, then a magical force quickly brings you down to one hit point! YOU THEN COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE YOUR DIETY TELLS YOU TO! YOU DIE!
C.J: No i Don't.
DM: You are banned
C.j.: too late, i quit.
DM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DM: You freggin retard, its fake! The barkeeper shoots your heart through your pervy chect with a crossbow, inflicting 800d12 +1000 damage because that crossbow is cursed by erythnul!
C.J.: no way, people give you money when you do that!
DM: NO THEY DONT!
C.J. Fine, i summon my army of giant emo porpoises to kill him. My constitution score is (insert million digit number here)
DM: You
Uuhmm... that is probably not the best way of handling the situation. Seems it would just encourage his behaviour.
Uuhmm... that is probably not the best way of handling the situation. Seems it would just encourage his behaviour.
I'm going to go so far as to say the DM there is just as immature as the player.
I'm going to go so far as to say the DM there is just as immature as the player.
I'm going to go as far as to say that they both should have their foreheads smacked together at a high velocity. Maybe that'll knock some sense into these stooges.
And now, some character types I haven't seen anywhere else:
Archetype-Hater:
This person may or may not have read the entire thread up to this point and decided it was his duty to murder all such people. Whatever his motives, this player is normally a good player, skilled in both roleplaying and stat development. However, if he EVER sees ANYTHING that looks like a pirate, a ninja, a character from a movie, storybook characters (Especially Drizz't), or anything else that he percieves as a blatant pop-culture rip off, he'll go berserk.
He will immediately use all resources at his disposal to kill "the lame, deriviative ****ing FREAK!," (IC, not OOC) regardless of who or what that "freak" actually is in the game. Woe betide anyone who tries to play a PC that looks like Cloud or Dante in his presence.
If it's ordinary, I hate it: Again, not a bad player, but he/she basically refuses to ever play anything that doesn't have at least one unique special ability that no one else has. Maybe he/she wants a unique race, a bizarre, non-core class, random feats from who knows where, you name it. He/she just can't stand the thought of playing a normal fighter, rogue, wizard, or cleric and NOT be different. It's like conformity of any kind is anethema to them.
If everyone were normal, the world would be a pretty boring place.
This guy will constantly bring up what his other (apparently much better) DM would do, would let him do, etc. If you refuse a certain class/race/ability/trick, he'll say "My other DM let me use that." If you ask him to make a certain roll, he'll say "My other DM didn't do things like that."
Player: I'll ask the patrons for information about the missing princess.
Me: Okay, these people are here. *lists a few noteworthy NPCs* Who do you talk to, and what do you say?
Player: My other DM just let me roll Gather Information.
Me: Maybe, but I want to know who you talk to, and how you formulate your questions.
Player: Can't I just roll? That's what I did when my other DM ran the game...
Player: I wanna play an aasimar warlock.
Me: Sorry, I said humans only. Also, I don't think warlocks fit in with the world. I did say I'd have some restrictions.
Player: But my other DM let me play that!
It's as though these people (and yes, I've dealt with more than one) think that I must conform to the 'DM standard' set by someone I don't even know... except for those cases when they're completely fibbing and making things up, and think they'll get more validity (or else their other DM had no idea of how the rules worked).
But it's not the lying that gets to me. It's the fact that the little munchkin is holding me up to some stupid standard and telling me I don't measure up. Way smart move, kid, tell the DM he's no good... to his face.
Me: Uh, you have a feat too much here. You're only supposed to have three.
Player: Well, my other DM let us take a bonus feat if we could justify it with our background, and--
Me: Uhuh. In case you haven't noticed, your other DM isn't running this game. And if I hear you comparing me to him again, you'll find out *exactly* what this DM will let you. Now fix your sheet and we'll play.
The Overbearing Fighter-type: This guy thinks the game rotates around the guy with the sword. He'll always play a fighter or similar (sometimes a paladin, of the unbearable kind) with a big sword, and thinks he's the greatest ever. Everyone else is insignificant because they're not a fighter with a sword, and thus scorned. Wizards are obviously inferior because they don't even know how to handle a sword, and they cheat by using magic. Rogues, too, because they sneak around instead of fighting fairly. The fighter-type will usually try to push the 'inferiors' around, thinking he's the party leader. He'll happily hit other party members (usually not so much as to kill them, though) if they act cheeky. When the wizard finally snaps and blasts the guy, he'll get upset because 'you can't use magic on other party members!' and you're fighting unfairly. If you manage to subdue him, he'll later, much later, sneak up on the wizard in the night and tie him up in a sack to 'get even'.
We have one of those, its extremely annoying :/
His Overbearing fighter type is crossed with:
Everyones a Stereotype
This guy believed everyone is a stereotype of their race/class. No matter what background you have, how interesting your character is, he'll always see it according to his pre-concieved notion of that race/class.
You playing a wizard/sorcerer? You're a 'skirt wearing pansy' (even if you're playing a fighter/sorc gish build in chainmail with his precious sword type weapon)
You playing a druid? 'you're a tree hugger'
You playing an elf? 'you're a tree hugger'
You playing a cleric? 'go back to your church'
You a halfling? 'You're a weakling'
You a rogue? 'You're a weak thief'
See how this correlates with the above? Unless you're a fighter/barbarian/ranger you're always his pre-concieved notion of your race/class (though he'll make digs at your ranger as being a part time tree hugger).
His character (always one of the three mellee types) no matter who it is, always has some problem too. This problem makes it hard for your party to travel with him or get along with him. Really, if he was an NPC, you wouldnt travel with him, you probably would have killed him. The only reason he's with your party is deus ex machina.. he's oocly a player, so he's with you. Even though he insults you ICly, sometimes does dangerous things, even sometimes makes attacks that have a potential to hit you (like attacking into your grapple). Quite frankly, he's extremely annoying and probably wouldnt ICly be with you.
Everyones a Stereotype
Heh. Don't tell him your class. Role-play it. Rogues for one... well at least the smart ones... wouldn't introduce themselves as a rogue. "I'm a locksmith." "I'm an expert" I beleive there was a rogue thread going around with the premise "What does a rogue go by other than rogue?" it was a really long and fun read. I beleive there were some witty ones like "Artifact Recovery Specialist" and "Procuror of Lost Items"
"I know arcane arts" not "I'm a wizard."
"I am Thorton, and I was trained to defend myself in [place]."
Things like that... Now he has to stereotype you based on how you play your character (which if he wants to play a character who HAS to stereotype, that's a roleplaying option) not based on your class. As for your race, that's just racism to begin with and it exists in many people's D&D games.
Heh. Don't tell him your class. Role-play it. Rogues for one... well at least the smart ones... wouldn't introduce themselves as a rogue. "I'm a locksmith." "I'm an expert" I beleive there was a rogue thread going around with the premise "What does a rogue go by other than rogue?" it was a really long and fun read. I beleive there were some witty ones like "Artifact Recovery Specialist" and "Procuror of Lost Items"
"I know arcane arts" not "I'm a wizard."
"I am Thorton, and I was trained to defend myself in [place]."
Things like that... Now he has to stereotype you based on how you play your character (which if he wants to play a character who HAS to stereotype, that's a roleplaying option) not based on your class. As for your race, that's just racism to begin with and it exists in many people's D&D games.
You speak like he roleplays well, or that the other party members even introduce themselves in the crude way you mentioned, which they dont.
Or even that he stops making mention of the stereotype when not roleplaying. He OOCly refers to those classes in that manner too.
I mean.. maybe if you like to play like that, you can try and defend it.. but none of the things you mention have any ground in this case. I can understand roleplaying.. but this is the bad type of player thread. This starts the moment you choose and write down your class and before you roll your dice for stats or hit points.
You speak like he roleplays well, or that the other party members even introduce themselves in the crude way you mentioned, which they dont.
Or even that he stops making mention of the stereotype when not roleplaying. He OOCly refers to those classes in that manner too.
I mean.. maybe if you like to play like that, you can try and defend it.. but none of the things you mention have any ground in this case. I can understand roleplaying.. but this is the bad type of player thread. This starts the moment you choose and write down your class and before you roll your dice for stats or hit points.
Actually, I was giving a suggestion that would help you throw him for a loop. I wasn't actually suggesting that he was doing it to be in character, moreso as an idea to force him to be a little more in character. Esspecially if he has no knowledge skills in which to identify you. The game in which I DM, the Teifling in the party convinced the entire party that he was a human and that his eyes were red because he has magical powers.
Throwing him a curveball, telling him only what he can perceive might actually start making him think... and if he doesn't, it just cements idea more of that he's a moron who can't do anything but stereotype, and that he truely belongs in this list of 101 worst players ever.
I just think that if you did that, and didn't tell him "Oh I'm a [race] [class]" you might produce another outlet where you actually might have fun with it - of course... he sounds like the type of jerk who would eat pizza over your character sheet, drop food on it, and spy on your sheet when it's between you and your DM - but if you can keep it secret; it'll at least be different.
#21 - Stereotype: Regardless of races all his characters are stereotypes of the wors sorts. Every elf is a tree hugging archer and every dwarf is an alcoholic, greedy, bull headed fighter.
When he played/read Dragonlance add crazy inventor gnome and kleptomanic halfling to the list.
The Anti-Stereotype
Regardless of races all his characters completely differ from anything sane. Every half-orc is a lawful good bard, every gnome is a chaotic evil sorcerer. If he has any chance to add prestige classes that are absolutely unlikely , he will add it. Then he will create an absolutely stereotypical background story, like "He is an outcast of his race PERIOD."
*edit: Sorry, was already covered by Praetor on the last page.
In comparison... I once played a tiefling with, aside from skin and eye color (pitch black) looked like a human (and used a Hat of Disguise to cover that detail, too), and made the mistake of mentioning this.
When the characters are introducing themselves, one of the others say to me, "And you're OBVIOUSLY some kind of half-demon!" Gee, rolled a 20 on your Jump-to-conclusions check, didja?
Of course this conflicts with ANOTHER of our lads, the "Secrets-hater". I don't think he's been posted yet, has he?
This guy HATES character secrets. No matter how serious. He believes that he should know just about everything you and the rest of the party are up to, what spells/abilities you have access to, what items you carry, and who your mother/father is and what they do. Keeping secrets is BAD, it can hurt THE PARTY, we don't DO THAT. Maybe you know some minor contact you like to sneak off to, or have a spell-like ability you don't use much? Well, you might as well be a baby-eating devil for the severity of your 'offense'. Never mind that it's none of his business.
And he's serious. He actually thinks that knowing these things could be important, could be used to our advantage if we just all know about them. He actually chewed me out for keeping secrets on three occasions, for the crimes of:
-Not telling him the druid could wildshape (Huh? Really, I was new then and hadn't known that either. But am I seriously supposed to explain those things?)
-Not explaining what a halfling was (He made a long scene of harassing a new character by telling her to run home to her parents before I clued him in... so he blew up about me not explaining a STANDARD RACE... what, am I his talking PHB?)
-Not explaining that my mother was a wizard (He'd met her. She had these ancient books she wouldn't stop reading even when we were talking. Sheesh, figure it out.)
He also at one point attempted to listen in on a private conversation between me and another player, even though his chara was nowhere in range, with the justification that "If it's relevant, you'll tell me later anyway. So I'll just listen now so you don't have to say it twice." Nevermind that the other player was making an attempt to be social... something he never did. His chara may have been a party member by default, but he sure didn't make any attempt to be friendly, so how did he think he'd ever be privvy to that info?
Oh yes... about the type, if he's seriously dedicated, he'll also openly try to read your sheet (again, because it's things he should know about, or sometimes he justifies it with "I've seen you fight/cast/act/perform, I've figured out how strong/smart/attractive/able to dodge you are"), and, in severe cases, try to intercept any notes you and/or the DM pass around.
The good thing is, any players who are anything worth playing with will get fed up with his meta-gaming nosiness, and make payback. The whole party (sans him) did at one point put together a huge conspiracy for the purpose of keeping him in the dark... one or two of us openly detaining him while the others went off to do "something", then, when they returned, made cryptic statements that he couldn't figure out... left strange notes around... bugged the heck outta him until he figured it out and mended his metagaming ways.
I'm going to go as far as to say that they both should have their foreheads smacked together at a high velocity. Maybe that'll knock some sense into these stooges.
I wasn't clear enough with my post. Let me clarify. We waited for 4 hours after we all got there for him to get done watching " Emo Porpoise hour", then another hour for cell phone calls. He then realised he'd forgotten his character sheet, so he went home, which was Three houses away and it took him two hours! Once he got back, we were just getting ready to play without him, sense we thought he wasn't coming back and most of are time was gone. He then gave us a half- hour lecture on including everybody. When the game finally started, he had to take a phone- call on his round that lasted a half hour. With a half- hour left to play, we were kinda ticked. Later that week, he came over early and told us that it was unfair that tiamat killed his porpoises, and thats why he quit. He really, REALLY ticked us off, and as I was DMing that day and had some pretty nice battles planned, that I couldn't get to, and the players were low on money and needed to get some because they had recently gotten it stolen by this little
You don't seem to understand the post.
No, we understand, and your explanation isn't exactly helping you.
3. The Librarian
This is the player who gets every new supplement he can find and tries to incorporate it into his next character. Tends to play things that don't fit into the campaign at all, just so he can use his new shiny books. Will bring OA handbook to a Greyhawk game, or a non-WotC Drow sourcebook to a low-level core only game and ask why he can't use it. Also tends to want to change characters often.
4. Why are you guys so
You all know this guy. He's the one who gets himself and the party in trouble, and can't understand why the other characters and/or players are upset with him. His usual excuse, every time is 'I was playing in character' but he doesn't understand that the other players are upset with him 'in character' as well.
5. The Metagamer
The guy who rattles off stats for monsters as soon as the DM gives a description, says things like "Come on guys we can take it, it only has AC 17!" or "watch out, that extremely obscure devil/demon/dragon/etc is weak to only +2 vorpal sporks, we better just avoid it completely" and gets into vehement disagreements with the DM when the DM goes out of his way to change things to counteract him.
6. I didn't say/do that!
This is the one who does something or says something (usually to a major NPC like a king or mighty wizard or whatnot) which is completely stupid. When he starts facing consequences, he argues that he never in fact did/said what the rest of the group and the DM think he did/said, and that they are in fact delusional.
Give this man a cigar! He said what I wanted to say!
Again, why are we still discussing this?
That's another player type.
He does something so very wrong with an aspect of his character that he is banned from doing it ever again ... and the next day he wants another character that can do that very same thing. And when he gets told no, he's like, "But that was in the past. Why are you still bringing that up?"
In my case, it was a guy who wasn't a really bad player, but when his character had authority over mine, it all went to crap. He never learned to listen to his subordinate (me) and gave stupid orders ... and in the situation when he was a paladin and I was a squire, every time a new player joined the game they got hefty donations from the party fund - but when my character wanted something I got significantly less and he wanted a complete accounting of my costs. So I said to him, "So, if I left your employ as a squire and joined the party in my own right, you'd give me more money?" And he said, "Yes, probably."
I was never so tempted...
I suppose this fits under the "Can't Command for Crap" tag as well :P
He persists trying again and again the same thing, even if it is rather clear it won't work. Will keep negotiating with a NPC until he gets his own, will keep trying picking a lock even if he has failed by rolling a 18, will keep fighting even when having 2 hp left and outnumbered 3:1.
The Holier-than-thou:
This guy, usually a power-player, wants everything his way, and creates and uber character to make sure he gets it. If a sentry keeps him from entering a building, he kills him. If a merchant refuses to sell a +3 sword for 10gp. he kiils him and loots the store. If another PC makes a comment about him, he threatens to kill him.
This guy should roll a few characters in advance. I am his DM and a predict he won't last more than a few sessions more -despite being ultra-powerful...
The player who's parents call yours and gripe that you exposed their son to satan worship. {pastors sons...}
^that deserves a cookie^
148: All of the Above/Below
This particular variety of player is, for the most part not too bad...
Except that s/he, upone occasion, exhibits several of the previously mentioned traits (or other traits yet to be mentioned). They're never as bad as any specific "bad player type," but they have such varying persoanalities that, eventually, gaming with them becomes an absolute chore.
149: The DMPCer
We all know this one. Hell, a lot of us were this one at one point in our game mastering careers. The DMPCer insists on playing a character too, even if he's DMing the game. Even if s/he doesn't fall into the trap of Ultimate Player Knowledge or My Character is Awesome syndrome, there is still a certain annoying habit of always knowing a bit too much, or trying to lead the other characters, or paying more attention to their character than their game, or some other such.
Please, I cry out to thee, my fellow Game Masters! Drop the DMPC. Stop playing in the game you're supposed to be running! You'll thank me. Your games will be better, your players will have more fun... It's a win-win, I promise!
I'm a DMPC, but I always play a lesser role. It's fun when you're not the center of attention.
Power Gaming At a Glance
Most power gamers are so because they've thoroughly read over the rules, and therefore know the best possible combinations. Power Gaming At a Glance can glance at the rules, or just guess, and still make a character much, much, better than everyone else.
This player will complain constantly unless he is able to play a Drow with two scimitars, or use some other useless combination. He doesn't care anything for realism, and will whine until he is allowed to make his drow have pink skin, and blue hair.
Note: We've had this guy for a couple sessions in our group
This guy in my current game always brings a six pack of beer, drinks all but one, and falls asleep.
If this person is playing online, their character will constantly use emoticons and LOL-type slang during IN CHARACTER chant. You might wonder what he sounds like in real life...
Ex. "I h4xx0rz teh orc with my +5 Axe! That'll teach 'em! ;)
If this person is playing in real life, they will phonetically pronounce the same chat-slang. "Eloel!"
Mr. BYOB:
This guy in my current game always brings a six pack of beer, drinks all but one, and falls asleep.
Tell me this guy is also "that guy we carry out into the front lawn after he falls asleep".
Online n00b RPer:
If this person is playing online, their character will constantly use emoticons and LOL-type slang during IN CHARACTER chant. You might wonder what he sounds like in real life...
Ex. "I h4xx0rz teh orc with my +5 Axe! That'll teach 'em! ;)
If this person is playing in real life, they will phonetically pronounce the same chat-slang. "Eloel!"
I sat to the sidelines in a game tonight, just for some mild entertainment*, and one of the players actually said "Woot!" when he got a good roll. I was startled, to say the least.
* One of the players had just leveled up, and I vouchsafed to him this timeless wisdom: "When you have BAB over 6, and Great Cleave, and your enemies have surrounded you, it's not called being flanked, it's called a target-rich environment."
This person loves powergaming. He really loves to make a cool, powerful build and unleash it on the party and the gameworld, hoping to wow them all with the character's sheer coolness. Except...
...it's not really that good. The character is severely diluted by useless templates and prestige classes that work at cross-purposes, or possibly the chara has a few good classes... but it's the wrong campaign. If a caster, probably has a CL close to half the ECL. Fighters who lose HD by templates that add nothing useful but a few cosmetics. And of course, this could be fun, since even a stunted character build can be entertaining to play. Except...
...the player is convinced his character is über. He's convinced his build is sooo good. And when he fails to shine properly, he complains. Usually at the other players, for having characters who are much better, and at the DM for making the adventure too hard. Will often whine things like "This character is useless!" as though it wasn't him who wrote it up, but rather some malevolent entity forced him to use it. Whines and complains and generally makes a nuisance of himself before retiring the character and writing up a new one... who, of course, is just as useless.
The player who is playing a fighter,but is playing it like a theif.
The Incompetent Powergamer:
This person loves powergaming. He really loves to make a cool, powerful build and unleash it on the party and the gameworld, hoping to wow them all with the character's sheer coolness. Except...
...it's not really that good. The character is severely diluted by useless templates and prestige classes that work at cross-purposes, or possibly the chara has a few good classes... but it's the wrong campaign. If a caster, probably has a CL close to half the ECL. Fighters who lose HD by templates that add nothing useful but a few cosmetics. And of course, this could be fun, since even a stunted character build can be entertaining to play. Except...
...the player is convinced his character is über. He's convinced his build is sooo good. And when he fails to shine properly, he complains. Usually at the other players, for having characters who are much better, and at the DM for making the adventure too hard. Will often whine things like "This character is useless!" as though it wasn't him who wrote it up, but rather some malevolent entity forced him to use it. Whines and complains and generally makes a nuisance of himself before retiring the character and writing up a new one... who, of course, is just as useless.
Even worse when he takes over seven hours to compleete the character, and attempts to monopolize every rulebook I own in order to do so...
"I need the PHB back."
"I need it to pick spells."
"You've had it open to the same page for four hours now. Players whose characters didn't die need it for spells they're casting - and weren't you playing a rogue?"
The Incompetent Powergamer:
This person loves powergaming. He really loves to make a cool, powerful build and unleash it on the party and the gameworld, hoping to wow them all with the character's sheer coolness. Except...
...it's not really that good. The character is severely diluted by useless templates and prestige classes that work at cross-purposes, or possibly the chara has a few good classes... but it's the wrong campaign. If a caster, probably has a CL close to half the ECL. Fighters who lose HD by templates that add nothing useful but a few cosmetics. And of course, this could be fun, since even a stunted character build can be entertaining to play. Except...
...the player is convinced his character is über. He's convinced his build is sooo good. And when he fails to shine properly, he complains. Usually at the other players, for having characters who are much better, and at the DM for making the adventure too hard. Will often whine things like "This character is useless!" as though it wasn't him who wrote it up, but rather some malevolent entity forced him to use it. Whines and complains and generally makes a nuisance of himself before retiring the character and writing up a new one... who, of course, is just as useless.
Reminds me of a particular gnome fighter/bard/sorcerer ...
:D
This guy plays okay until something happens that he doesn't want to have to deal with. He then just sits there and stares back at the GM, not even acknowledging that the event has happened. He'll do this until either the GM relents and changes the situation or he is forced into some action - at which time he will probably get up and go get a drink or something; anything to delay having to act on the situation. In extreme versions, he will actually go into another room and start doing something else, without informing the GM that he's not playing any more.
In online games, this is the guy who simply stops responding when his character has to do something difficult.
These siblings are usually only a year or two apart in age and, out of game, do everything together. They always make characters that are close friends and complementary, but put some BIZARRE, irritating RP quirk to it... like their characters are in love.
Secret incest desires, anyone?
(PS: true story)
The Quiet One:
Quiet players can be nice... unless they never. talk. at all. Unless directly asked a question, they never say anything, and their descriptions of character action are always incredibly brief. It is not an RP thing, not a character quirk... just being anti-social.
They usually sit in a corner and appear angsty.
Where do you even FIND all these people? I don't know how you can find all these nutjobs to invite to the gaming table...
Humans are a very creepy, bizarre, often-irritating species.
I think some of them are exaggerations of ticks they've seen, logical assumptions of things that would happen, or derrived from the horror stories you'll see on here.
That Guy's Friend: TGT comes in several different forms-
-The guy that one of your players dragged in one day because he had 'nowhere else to be' and you throw together a character sheet so he's not just a distraction. Usually mutters 'this is stupid' under his breath the whole time.
- Same as above, but doesn't play. He just sits there and is a distraction, or is 'just there to watch.' They're not really players, but they're just as annoying as a bad player.
- The guy one of your players brings without telling the DM. The DM (and everyone else) is expected to accept them with open arms, teach them everything, and let them come back on a regular basis. Are usually the worst RP'ers ever
- He did tell the DM, but the TGT didn't bother to get any books, supplies, or even figure out what to do before the next meeting. He just shows up and expects to be taught.
1.) Combat Manuever Player
I'm not talking about maneuvers, tripping and disarming. I'm talking about the guy, who is in the middle of a field, facing 5 orcs, with nobody to see but his party, he is level 1 and MUST tumble over the orcs head through it's space, while balancing on a thimble, as well as attacking in the air to get some kind of crazy bonus. Asks for DC's in advance and complains when he learns his level 1 character cannot achieve this move. Tries to explain why it's possible. Takes 30 minutes trying to do so.
Eventually gives up, wizard casts sleep, end of encounter.
2.) Rogue who must be strange
Will never do anything normal in combat or otherwise. Must while invisible get a leather sack over the enemy spellcasters head soas to make invisible soas to sneak. Will complain endlessly if not allowed to do so. Will complain more if the wizard has a buff (like freedom of movement) to avoid this. Will complain even more if the wizard has a secret buff he doesn't know about like blindsight and attempt to tell you why the wizard cannto see through the bag. Uses many other unconventional things to, sometimes they just don't make sense (ladders as grappling items)
3.) Player who must abuse magic item properties. Resizing sling bullt of doom. Finds a way using the rules and spells to have a halflings sling bullet to grow to colossal+ after leaving sling, hence crushing all enemies in a 4 mile radius.
4.) Player who no matter what he plays, always ends up having the exact same magic items if given half the chance. First choice, cloak of resistance, followed by item of best stat boost for current character, followed closley by ring of feather fall. Will never make a character that does not eventually have those items, or better versions of them.
5.) The player who must, under all circumstances, ruin a dramatic moment. This is generally done through the use of bad jokes, and stupid comments (generally puns or word-play)
Example: The dragon rear's up, drawing a deep breath, you can hear the mighty blue dragons crackling lungs and feel it's entire body rithe as it prepares to...*interrupted*
Player: Oh man, it's about to crap thunder isn't it...I mean I did just make it eat lightning with my lightning bolt spell...
Not only must he tell jokes, none are original (that one came from the Venture Bros...)
Humans are a very creepy, bizarre, often-irritating species.
I think some of them are exaggerations of ticks they've seen, logical assumptions of things that would happen, or derrived from the horror stories you'll see on here.
Unfortunately, over nearly 20 years of gaming experience, I have encountered most (if not all) of the ones that I've described here. All stories told are true (for a given value of 'true' :tongue
.4.) Player who no matter what he plays, always ends up having the exact same magic items if given half the chance. First choice, cloak of resistance, followed by item of best stat boost for current character, followed closley by ring of feather fall. Will never make a character that does not eventually have those items, or better versions of them.
My group has a player like that. He always wants:
1) A bag of holding
2) A cloak of displacement
3) A wand of fireball
4) A spyglass
Spyglass is ok, I guess, but it's a bit annoying. I was actually disappointed when the DM finally put a heward's haversack in a treasure hoard. The druid called dibs on the next one to let him have it.
At least my warlock got the the inevitable wand of fireball. (Nitpick: not a fireball, exactly, but rather a DM made spell that's functionally equivalent.) He didn't even try to make a claim. I think it's part of his growth as a player. He always plays a rogue. He's playing one now, but this time he actually wants to fight better rather than relying on sneak attack. As he multiclasses into a home made dedicated warrior prestige class he still likes being "roguish", but he's becoming more interested in fighting than the roguish skills and previous combat tactics, like the aforementioned using wands of fireball. However, I know he's still itching for that cloak of displacement. Granted it would be good for the party overall for him to have it, but still ...
8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
Guilty. Though I'm a he, not a she. And I let the Good Book stay behind now and then. After all, it's no fun when you can have it all the time. *cackling laughter*
#38: Cuthbert Loves Meeeee
#37's more common Subspecie. Almost always plays Clerics/Paladins/Templar/Fists of Hextor and believes strongly in conversion by the sword. Is absolutely intolerant of other PC/NPC religious beliefs and is an absolute Zealot. Adept at alienating party members and NPCs alike. Characters of this specie will ALWAYS rant about their deities at every given opportunity, save for when presented with their Deity's nemesis, in which case they rant about the opponent's deity. If RPed well, tolerable. If RPed badly, a grating nightmare.
*whistles to himself as he slowly edges towards the door*
I'm you mean regardless, as in without respect to.
INCOMPLETE SENTENCE!!!
- Ron ^*^
at first he was the "I can help in a fight just as much as you guys, i'll lead the charge on this one..."
And now he's the "i'm a psionic, i can do anything."
8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
UGH! We had a player like this.. two campaigns ago? It was a very dark campaign and we all wrote our characters accordingly, but it got out of hand when the DM at the time gave one of the players free reign of use on the Book of Vile Darkness. The player wanted to set it up so his female character could be converted to the ways of light by my Aasimar favored soul of Pelor as a plot thing, and he decided he liked the template of the Disciple of Mammon. DM allowed him to nerf it to use as a base class... The character's back story came to be that she had been a Disciple of Mammon that was taken from/given away by her parents to Mammon at the age of 7 (or something close to it) and was forced to/had to pass disgusting sexual rites. She did this a lot and became one of Mammon's favored...
Her back story seriously disturbed and unsettled half the other players. We finally made the player completely rewrite the character about five games in.
We have since banned the use of back stories like that.
The Weird Siblings:
These siblings are usually only a year or two apart in age and, out of game, do everything together. They always make characters that are close friends and complementary, but put some BIZARRE, irritating RP quirk to it... like their characters are in love.
Secret incest desires, anyone?
(PS: true story)
Put it here http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=133489&page=450 :D
Pointless loves the acting aspect of the game. She comes up with a very tame and basic character concept, like being raised on a farm, and plays it to the hilt. One of the effects of this is that she never changes or grows mentally; to deviate from original behavior would be to not roleplay properly. Despite having seen and done amazing things, she's still the farmgirl she was at the start.
Also, Pointless too often seems to think that acting and actually getting somewhere are mutually exclusive. She wants to roleplay for the fun of it, not risking your life or unveiling plots. If the party hears about a haunted ruin somewhere in the woods, she'll want to play at the inn, talk to villagers, and stitch dresses with the local peasant women. If the others say they want to check out the ruin, she'll insist that what she wants is just as fun. Will only come along if the rest of the party shows obvious signs of leaving her behind (and taking the DM spotlight with them).
Example: Our group was approached by a diplomat with an offer: travel to the Imperial city (through some moderately hostile terrain) with a message to the Emperor, and make sure he gets it, and we'll be handsomely rewarded. We of course thought this sounded like a good idea, since we were rather bored with the town we were in, and some guy calling himself Emperor sounded like a good guy to call friend. It also sounded adventurous and prosperous in many ways.
And then Pointless protests. She instead wants to get a job at the fighting pits outside town as a boxer, and thinks the rest of us can find rewarding occupations there, too. This doesn't sound very tempting, but we go check it out.
The place is a dreary dump where they send criminals to kill each other for low-brow amusement. It's not very popular since you have to go outside the city walls. (If you want to go into the city, you have to be examined for certain diseases through a painful procedure, so it's not something you want to do too often.) There is no boxing going on, unless you want to go up against condemned criminals. We ask about paying jobs; there's a few, like sweeping up and repairing minor stuff, doesn't pay much. Sounds rather obviously not much of a choice.
Except Pointless doesn't seem to have listened to the DM. She's still convinced this is The Place To Be, a really happenin' place, despite evidence to the contrary. We say we're not interested, we want to see the Emperor. She actually replies, "What's so great about him? What can he get us that we can't get ourselves?" EEH?!?
She whines and pules, tries to get us to change our minds with constant "Aw, come on", "Don't be like that", "You're gonna love it here". Then she mentions that her father used to work here, as if this would endear us to the idea. Her father was a wife-and-daughter beater who was hated by everyone in our village until he left and never came back, but she idolizes him somehow. I, having finally had enough, tell her that none of us care if he worked here because he was a rotten scum whom we're glad we never have to see again.
This makes her ****** because she gets really riled about people badmouthing her dad. But she does not only attempt to roleplay this; she also seems to think that I should be quaking in my boots at the sight of this holy-hell-angry woman. I was the village blacksmith; I can handle myself and I'm tired of her always acting like a petulant child. I tell her back what I think of her dad and what I think of her acting and that she's free to put down roots in this dull place, but the rest of us have made up our minds.
She again explains how angry and ****** her character is, and how she reacts like this every time someone insults her dad, but I don't care. We leave, and when she realizes she's not going to get her will through, she gives up and goes along. A few sessions later, she stops showing up to the game. It was no big loss.
And for those who wonder: getting to see the Emperor required a whole lot of finesse, trickery and roleplaying, and we were rewarded greatly. One of the better occasions, I'd say.
This happened once in a hobby shop. There were some people playing a game of D&D and suddenly, from out of nowhere, a little 1'st grader peeks his head out from behind a shelf. This little guy is obviously interested in the game, but too shy to actually approach the players and ask about it. There are no signs of his parents, it looked like he just wandered in.
For Four Hours!!!, while other players got up and moved around, this kid stays there, still peeking out from behind his shelf (1'st graders aren't supposed to do that). Eventually, the DM gets up, and kindly asks the kid if he wants to sit at the table (I guess he figured that the kid would be less of a distraction than some of the other players). The DM wasn't harsh about it, but the kid, obviously terrified, bolts for it.
Guess what, he comes back!!! He did that several times, always peeking out from behind his shelf.
(If you can't tell already, I was the watcher, just felt like sharing that.)
I (a well-educated native speaker) use it in conditioned alternation with 'regardless';
Not educated enough. Get out of my house.
You know, the guy who doesn't shower and wishes with all his heart he'll become a vermin lord. He often talk casually about necrophilia and scathophilia while enjoying other people's glances of horror. He considers BoVD as the PHB, Lord of Madness as the DMG and Fiend Folio and the MM. Talk about "core" material!
The players who shames the BoVD
You know, the guy who doesn't shower and wishes with all his heart he'll become a vermin lord. He often talk casually about necrophilia and scathophilia while enjoying other people's glances of horror. He considers BoVD as the PHB, Lord of Madness as the DMG and Fiend Folio and the MM. Talk about "core" material!
We had a guy like this in my HS group. Always begged to have xyz from the BoVD and whatever other 3rd party "vile" books he could drudge up. Finally our DM, after getting tired of hearing it for the 10th time, said "look, [g_y] is the only one allowed to use material out of those books for his characters because he's the only one here who's able to make proper use of those books without obviously trying to destroy the game! Now suck it up or get out." I ended up making a Disciple of Asmodeus with aspirations of dethroning his master. The player in question ended up dropping after his third failed attempt at pvp.
On the opposite end of the spectrum the BoVD Abuser, this person just LOVES The Book of Exalted Deeds. In fact, he loves it so much that he'll take all kinds of special exalted feats from it, regardless of what type of character he's playing, which cripple him personally and also bring down the rest of the party with him. He might be the nicest man in the world in Real Life, but in-game he doesn't seem to grasp that taking the Vow of Nonviolence might be problematic in a combat-heavy RP, or that the Vow of Poverty can actually break a low-to-no-magic campaign.
People, the penalties for the Vow will not only limit you. It'll affect your party members too! Do NOT do stuff like that without discussing it with (or at least warning) your group beforehand!
Hitler. I'd say Hitler would be a worst player to play with.
Or Stalin.
Carl Marx.
Saddam Hussein.
I don't know if its been posted already but:
Hitler. I'd say Hitler would be a worst player to play with.
Or Stalin. Carl Marx. Saddam Hussein.
Because they wounldn't roleplay a lot... they're dead.
Barring that, you'd better prepare your BoVD :D
Lawful Evil, anyone?
To reiterate an old joke: Marx would hate D&D, too many class differences.
He'd maintain that Fighters and Druids are "equal"!
the treatment? Throat punch followed by trachea slap.
He'd maintain that Fighters and Druids are "equal"!
And then he'd nerf Druids to make sure of it. :D
Anyone who makes a character designed to exactly immitate a character from 8-bit Theatre is not someone you want to play with. Not even if it's Red Mage.
ESPECIALLY if it's Red Mage.
Anyone who makes a character designed to exactly immitate a character from 8-bit Theatre is not someone you want to play with. Not even if it's Red Mage.
Swordchucks, yo!
Says he's being 'creative' then whines when he doesn't get a special bonus to hit or damage because "they wouldn't have been expecting THAT!"
Someone who is apparently confused about the definition of 'melee weapon' (throws swords, shields, clubs and everything else he can get his hands on) versus 'ranged weapon' (uses arrows and crossbows in melee combat).
Says he's being 'creative' then whines when he doesn't get a special bonus to hit or damage because "they wouldn't have been expecting THAT!"
Um, a club is a melee and a ranged weapon.
Um, a club is a melee and a ranged weapon.
Might have been a mace, then. All I know is that he selected weapons that were not meant for throwing, and threw them. Deliberately rejected the dagger, because that was just 'too weak'.
#94: The Zoologist/Evil Baron
This guy tries to capture every creature he sees and add it to his collection. He also whines until you let him have a keep or castle. He likes to torure and experiment. His favorite thing to make is flesh golems.
I played a necromancer in that mold once. A Chaotic Good one to be more exact. His main rival in the party was the Lawful Neutral (Evil) fighter con man. The necromancer's allies were the party druid and our cleric of Pelor (yes, that Pelor). He was also mistrusted by the party barbarian, who didn't like the idea of his dog ending up in a zoo exibit. He served as the party's moral compass with the help of the cleric of Pelor.
This wizard may or may not be an evocation specialist, but it's pretty clear that all he knows how to do is blow stuff up. He never has any spells prepared that don't deal direct damage. In the event that a non-blasting spell might be required for any given problem, he'll protest that those spells are useless. And if you ask him to play a Warmage instead, he'll complain that warmages lack versatility.
The player who insists on telling the DM how alignments should be played and willingly ignoring their own.
This specimen will spend hours upon hours explaining to you that because 3.5 is made to be more based in fantasy warfare and less attached to reality than AD&D was, it is inherently broken and overpowered. Quite often they will also tell you stories about their second ed. psyonic and their older brother's second ed. Fighter, who, when working together, could kill an average of 32 undead of their CR every single round.
The "3.5 is overpowered" zealot
This specimen will spend hours upon hours explaining to you that because 3.5 is made to be more based in fantasy warfare and less attached to reality than AD&D was, it is inherently broken and overpowered. Quite often they will also tell you stories about their second ed. psyonic and their older brother's second ed. Fighter, who, when working together, could kill an average of 32 undead of their CR every single round.
Note that these players do not last for long, and are usually found in gutters with broken table legs jammed in places no one sane would enjoy a table leg jammed. :D
The guy who believe that to jump to/from a roof without harm is normal, then explode every ennemy with ToB munchkinizing.
Mr. Take-Back?
Not sure what to call him but I know you have all know about the person who says "I was just joking". This guy takes it to another level. He states what he wants to do and then goes about doing it, then when the result is read (and if its not in his favor) he THEN says that he was joking or that he didnt understand the situation.
The Bible Beater that will beat the priest with a Bible
Informs people around him that their actions are bad only to turn around and so somthing that would require him being possesed by the devil himself.
That guy that makes the over powered character and then sits and reads about how he can get more powerful while the game is going on.
Mmmmm....name seems to say it all.
Finally
Mr.Retard
Now there is some Mr.Retard in all of us, we have all had our moments to "shine" but some people just steal the spot light and dont give it back.
Some examples are
1. Asking if he makes a neckless of ears will give him +2 to listen.
2. Making a mute character when the actual player loves to RP
3. Starting a fight with a robed man because, "All hes got is that staff"
4. Jumping off a 400ft plus cliff and then asking if he lives after making a tumble check of a 17.
and the list goes on
I used to play with this Wanker named Shawn. This man at 6'7'' and damn close to 500 sweaty rolling obese pounds would always have to jam or should I say pack himself into the one spot at the table thats against the wall. Every time he got up table got pushed into others, drinks spilt, Character sheets wet etc, but never warn anybody he was about to move. When asked to sit elsewhere he would say he "has to sit with my back against the wall, I have alot of enimies".
Yeah right fatty. Anyways he once got up and left the table?, we carry on, he comes back with McDonalds(only for him, nobody else) and gets ****** we played without him. Also had the my pc never makes more than 1-2 sessions because I am a real-life dummy syndrom above. Got ripping drunk more than once, I drink some beers at game time sometimes, but I still to this day have never seen 1 guy polish off a quart of vodka solo. I ran a old 2nd edition Shadow run game, and against my wishes another player brought the behemoth along. He makes a guy, we play a few sessions, on encounter I had all the pcs make a list of items they were holding/using. Guns armor etc.
This clown shoe gets killed(like18D damage most/all 6's) and informs me thats impossible because hes got Armor a,b, and c on. I show him the list He wrote, tells me i fudged it, i get mad voices escalate, i'm ready to box at this point. Fatty announces if he doesn't get his way he'll never play with us again.
Problem solved.
You got somthing against fat people?
People who bash a version of D&D that they have never played.
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People who pick a race and/or class because they think it will be cool/fun/exciting/etc. despite the knowledge that that race and/or class will not fit in with the campaign.
I can think of two players who did this in games I was in. One was going to be a campaign that took place in a massive (think roughly 5-10 mile cube with a sprawling series of connected dungeons and underground cities), and one player chose to play a centaur. He was warned that there would be lots of climbing up and down shafts and tunnels, and he insisted on playing a centaur. In the very first adventure we had to descend down a mine shaft, via ladders and ropes, that was a series of 100' to 500' long descents. Well, Mr. Ed couldn't climb down ladders and was too heavy for us to use pulleys and such. The player got very upset that he was being punished for playing a centaur. He refused to take responsibility for his actions, especially when he had been warned as to the nature of the campaign.
The other was a desert campaign and someone chose to play a species of artic dwarf that was highly susceptable to high temperatures!
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You got somthing against fat people?
My guess would be that because he's very upset with and/or strongly dislikes this player that he is merely lashing out at obvious physical differences in a childish attempt to make this person seem even worse than he actually is. I believe the misguided "logic" is that a fat rude player would seem more offensive than just a rude player. Regardless of why people do this, I find it very immture and particularly rude.
People who bash the older versions of D&D but have never even played them.
And on that note, people who bash 3.x and have never played it as well.
In addition to: People who bash other games without even looking at the rulebooks.
And on that note, people who bash 3.x and have never played it as well.
In addition to: People who bash other games without even looking at the rulebooks.
People who bash games they have played because "it's too realistic; my character can die from being shot, once even". Or how's it go, "If I wanted realism, I'd go out and do it in the real world."
People who take a single minor flaw with a game and use that as an excuse to never ever play that game - and they do play games with huge gaping rules problems, and pass it off as "it's only a game, man".
And on that note, people who bash 3.x and have never played it as well.
I was thinking of that, and actually meant to change it during one of my edits and forget to change that part. I have repeatedly said that, in my opinion, it isn't about what version of D&D you play, it's all about the D and the D. Think about it, from Basic to 1st to 2nd to 3.0 and into 3.5, the D and D have never changed.
I've got one of these in my game, I told him no he could not play certain PrCs due to their potential for being overpowered, he just keeps whining untill I nerf the class and let him.
He's still pestering me to let his Master of many Forms (or Headaches) turn into an advanced Redcap. +1 to all stats per extra HD is not balanced...
The one who tries to tell the DM that his wolves shouldn't hunt in packs or that kobolds and gobbos are too dumb to lay a trap, or will be cowed because he's a level 14 character, like creatures can see the level above a PC's head (this isn't WoW).
People who bash my beloved Eberron coz there's no damn stereotypes or thousands of Epic heroes.
Amen brother. Warforged Rule!!!
but, anyway, Eberron is much more interesting than people give it credit for.
I don't know where exactly to place this guy... but he was in my game while I had the misfortune to DM. He was playing a... lets see... Druid. This is the lead up to his character. First, he wanted to play several monster classes. No. Just... no. 'Fine,' he said, 'let me play a dark elf.'
No. No way.
A day later...
'Alright, I don't have to play. I want a pyromancer character, but I also want him to be able to get more than 20 int.'
No. How about... No.
'Fine. I'll play a Druid Elf.'
Finally. Thank the gods.
'With an elemental companion.'
D'oh.
People who bash my beloved Eberron coz there's no damn stereotypes or thousands of Epic heroes.
Gods yes. I can't stand the "magic should be magical!" people, especially the ones who claim that every wizard should be cloistered in his ivory castle studying incomprehensible tomes, while their kinsmen live in the filth of 14th century europe. As if no one with the will and the brains to live off selling their magic for profit would never exist! As if no mage would ever be altruistic enough to use his magic for public works! It's preposterous. I won't begrudge anyone for playing in that sort of world, so long as they don't give the typical "Eberron has robots and trains hurrrr" response that they usually give.
Gods yes. I can't stand the "magic should be magical!" people, especially the ones who claim that every wizard should be cloistered in his ivory castle studying incomprehensible tomes, while their kinsmen live in the filth of 14th century europe. As if no one with the will and the brains to live off selling their magic for profit would never exist! As if no mage would ever be altruistic enough to use his magic for public works! It's preposterous. I won't begrudge anyone for playing in that sort of world, so long as they don't give the typical "Eberron has robots and trains hurrrr" response that they usually give.
I'll third it.
Eberron is what magic-instead-of-technology would really be like. No-one on Eberron will ever muck about with gunpowder and tubes, because they have wands of magic missile that are cheaper and more reliable.
It's alos great for that pulp-setting feel, which is what common adventure is all about.
Which brings me to my least favorite player...
The "I'm sitting close to the DM so I can see every number he rolls, and I'll comment loudly what number it is." Guy -
Now, I roll high... quite often. In fact, I have the record for the most "Double Natural 20's in a session", so I'll admit I have to fudge die rolls... I don't do it often, but I will if I start insta-killing party members. No one would have fun, and I'm in it more for the storytelling, than the actual challenge.
This guy has caused more members of a part I have run to be killed, than anyone else. How disheartened is a group that has three members of a 5 person party get killed on the initial barrage of javelins that 6 goblins toss from behind the wall, during the FIRST encounter? All because he watched me roll many criticals in a row, and loudly exclaimed them? I was only happy that he was one of the ones who went down.
Players who say: "We`re all playing assh**** and we dont work together.
Next campaign:"We are plaing good chars, most of them lawful good.
The player plays a halfing rogue/fighter/invis-blade and says:
The role playing is good and stuff, but I cant explain it, its to abstract for me. I give him the next session and then I will play something else.
The other players all know: "Complete Champion is coming soon, he is going to build a new char with this book."
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The famous last words in my sig. Except the one with the "dragon" were all from this player. His dying-rate is 4 to 5 times per year and we play effectively once a month.
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Or a good example for the worst player ever. I often see it in my group and I think this is often seen naywhere else.
DM to Player: What do you like to play?"
Player:" A Sorceress"
DM gets a little bit "angry": Yeah, thats fine, but.... whats the idea behind the char?"
Player: "She is charismatic"
DM now a little bit more angry: And why should this "charismatic-I-want-to-deal-the-most-damage-sorceress" go with a lawful good group of heros sent from their kings to save the world? Or better: "How should she came in to this party?"
Player: "I dont know, you have to find something"
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Maybe the player is such a kind of a worth , that others bet on the death of his char.
The Demented Designer: Constantly is creating new(and often very badly designed) feats, races, classes, etc. Constantly tries to get current DM to allow him to use them in his campaign, as a playtest of course. Also refuses to run a campaign himself to give his creations a healthy workout.
Related to the Aspiring Designer.But actually a subrace of the munchkin/powergamer is the Mad Crafter:
This guy is constantly trying to make his own custom magic items, and clings to the creation guidlines in the back of the DMG as holy writ. Is infamous for attempted "Always on" true strike weapons and Items that are restricted to his race, class and gender to gain a negative gold cost.
The Sad Optimizer
This guy will proudly show you his newest 'I deal OMGZ^OGMZ damage every round!' creation, then realize that in play it is beaten by a multiclassed fighter/bard. Usually because he neglected one detail (his pyromaniac scorching ray obsessed sorc. has been facing fire giants for the last 9 sessions) or forgot one thing (You can only control a certain number of undead). Most likely he plays a psion (kineticist), a sorcerer, or a warmage. Why? 'Those classes get Fireball!' He is completely stunned when the wizard with Color Spray stuns every goblin, especially when he has just been bragging about how he uses every spell slot for Magic Missile. So he scraps the character and writes up a TWF ranger because rangers get Favored Enemy which is obviously a game-break waiting to happen. He openly scoffs at druids and clerics, showing them how his mighty Meteor Swarm can deal 32d6 damage! Then the druid goes into T-Rex form and the Cleric DMMPersists up a boatload of buffs, while this guy is left with a Geomancer because 'drifts will make me Sooo powerful!'
Or a good example for the worst player ever. I often see it in my group and I think this is often seen naywhere else.
DM to Player: What do you like to play?"
Player:" A Sorceress"
DM gets a little bit "angry": Yeah, thats fine, but.... whats the idea behind the char?"
Player: "She is charismatic"
DM now a little bit more angry: And why should this "charismatic-I-want-to-deal-the-most-damage-sorceress" go with a lawful good group of heros sent from their kings to save the world? Or better: "How should she came in to this party?"
Player: "I dont know, you have to find something"
I have had a couple players do this. Usually the conversation runs like this:
Me: Okay, you want to play in my game?
Doofy Player: O yah it looks rly awesome
Me: Well, before I accept you, I need a character sheet. A completed sheet with a working background, personality, and description. Game is set in eberron, do you have the setting book?
DP: ya I'll get that to you right away!
*15 minutes pass*
DP: here it is! :D
Me: Okay, you have a total of 10 non-particle words between the 3 categories. I told you a minimum of 3 sentences each.
DP: Yeah well that was too much to write. Besides, it's not like it actually matters!
Me: Get out before I put something very large somewhere within you.
DP:
Me: Get out before I put something very large somewhere within you.
I only just discovered this thread (usually check the DM board), but I have concluded that due to this quote, you win the awesomesauce.
Oh, and worst player ever:
The player who gets peeved over the DM making a few mistakes on his first DMing session, and decides to tear up his character sheet and slam the door on the way out.
Has this guy been brought up? I've never actually had to DM one, but I've heard stories...
The Sad Optimizer
This guy will proudly show you his newest 'I deal OMGZ^OGMZ damage every round!' creation, then realize that in play it is beaten by a multiclassed fighter/bard. Usually because he neglected one detail (his pyromaniac scorching ray obsessed sorc. has been facing fire giants for the last 9 sessions) or forgot one thing (You can only control a certain number of undead).
I played with a player exactly like this. He would spend tons of money trying to find a way to get elemental resistance to every single type of element. Meanwhile he was still wearing the same crappy non masterwork scale mail that he had been since level 1 (did I mention that we were level 15 at the time.) That same player was convinced a bow rogue would be really powerful despite the fact that they have to be within 30 ft to sneak attack which defeats the purpose of having a bow to begen with and the rogue doesn't really get enough feats to take full advantage of using a bow.
I had another player who spent tons and tons of money getting his AC up into the 40's or 50's don't remember exactly what. The sad part was that he failed to put resources into anything but his AC so he had to roll a 15 or higher to hit anything at all, his saves were terrible because he never invested in a cloak of resistance, and his HP was quite low for what was supposed to be a melee combat character. If I recall he died against the first save or die he went up against because he failed the save. This despite the fact that it was fort based, he rolled a 12, and the barbarian next to him was able to make the same save on a much lower roll.
The Game Breaker:
Takes advantage of DM's lack of knowledge on certain things to push the game to its breaking point.
*Raises Hand*
Example:
Me: Can I buy a harp of charming? (pg. 258 DM's Guide)
DM:
uh sureMe:Is there a public place where the whole town can hear me?
DM: yes. Why?
Me:*explains what a harp of charming does*
DM:oh
Me:would "You liked this performance so much that you will give me the deeds to you property so I can perform for you again" be a reasonable suggestion?
DM: uh Sure
Here is probably the worst one of all.
The Game Breaker:
Fortunately, these players all have to encounter that lovely moment for normal players everywhere, the great "So What". It usually takes the form of the DM saying "You broke my Campaign, so what" (followed by a mass ejection of the player by the gaming group)
1) If it's such a great idea, then someone else would have thought of it first.
2) If no-one else is using it, then there's a reason.
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The guy who whines when his over-inflated ideas of his character's prowess don't match up to the character's performance in the cold hard 'reality' of actual gameplay. Accuses the GM of making the monsters act in such a way so that he, specifically, can't shine.
The guy who whines when his over-inflated ideas of his character's prowess don't match up to the character's performance in the cold hard 'reality' of actual gameplay. Accuses the GM of making the monsters act in such a way so that he, specifically, can't shine.
I have a player who is borderline. He complains or otherwise gets upset when his defense focused character takes even a single point of damage, and can't seem to realize that at high levels his 30+ AC is only even to his foe's 25+ total attack bonus.
Also, if any kind foe uses any sort of tactic other than stand in one spot and attack, prepare for an earful.
Because, you know, they're so worthwhile to him, despite the fact that the settings themselves have markedly different power levels/requirements/anything else.
And, though this is a player, when he DMs, those same characters are all of a sudden VERY IMPORTANT npcs/dmpcs. More than one at a time, mind you.
(not so bad)
... so each of their characters becomes an NPC when they are running the game ...
(still not so bad)
... and they share all the game information ...
(getting there)
... and so their characters are both the worst types of GMPC, no matter who is running the game. They know everything, can do anything, have GM-approved cool (non-canon) abilities that other PCs don't get access to, and are always either the focus of the plot or are manifestly allowing the plot to take place. No side-play is allowed without being either dominated or interrupted.
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When rolling up stats, considers anything under 13 to be 'sucky'.
At the same time, decries point buy because it doesn't give him the chance to put 18+ into every stat.
Here is probably the worst one of all.
The Game Breaker:
Takes advantage of DM's lack of knowledge on certain things to push the game to its breaking point.
*Raises Hand*
Example:
Me: Can I buy a harp of charming? (pg. 258 DM's Guide)
DM:
Me:Is there a public place where the whole town can hear me?
DM: yes. Why?
Me:*explains what a harp of charming does*
DM:oh
Me:would "You liked this performance so much that you will give me the deeds to you property so I can perform for you again" be a reasonable suggestion?
DM: uh Sure
See, that's not game-breaking - it just gets you arrested on charges of 'using malefic magic to obtain property or funds by coercion' and a spell of detainment at the local magistrates pleasure (and he is seldom very pleased, especially if he was one of the victims) along with loss of the item and probably all others.
These ideas may sound great, but they fall apart when you realise there'll be a riot when the suggestion wears off, let alone the ones who made their save.
"Put all your spare cash in the collection tin and somebody give me a fast horse" is the way to make cash with that item ....
GMs should always keep in mind the two Principles of Great Ideas:
1) If it's such a great idea, then someone else would have thought of it first.
2) If no-one else is using it, then there's a reason.
Maybe you need a license to own a Harp of Charming, or any other item that could be used to 'subvert or alter the will of the people'. Maybe the local lord keeps an insanely strong half-orc called Boris on retainer, and his job is to take any magic item that's been used in a crime and ... insert it into the criminal. Forcibly. One piece at a time, if necessary.
One would imagine that the incidence of such crimes would fall off. Dramatically.
funny thing is, I DO know the rules better than my DM, and I've tried running a session, but he wont let me
Well I'm the first to admit my players know the rules better than I do as a DM heck I'm guiltly of slightly relying on my players on reminding me of a few.
Thankfully all of them are good enough not to try to take advantage of it, also we have a house rule that anyone doing so on purpose will have their character destroyed and will be required to play as a 1st level commoner. :P
He-who-cannot-decide-on-a-character This guy does not know how to just stick with one character for more than two or three meetings. He's constantly changing characters, corresponding to what he likes every day. All the other players hate him for it.
I'm guilty of that one.
This is the guy who within the last 10 years has seen to many "cool" things to understand what cool is anymore.
Players mind : "Mal from Firefly was cool, Spiderman is cool, Lost is my fave show, George Bush sucks, weed is fun BUT it needs to be star wars."
So what happens? they make a Lone Wolf Captain of a loveable crew, who has a strange power (force/magic) that he got when he was involved in an accident while marooned on a mysterious Island controlled by wild and crazy scientists, and thus has a strong hatred of Right Wing politicians when he's working on Conusant.
198. The Cloner
This is the guy who dosent enjoy thinking or originality in any way:
GM: “So whats your D20 modern character all about?”
Cloner: “Okay so im a teenager, I go to high school with my friends and am very close to one of my Proffessors, and at night I hunt vampires with my friends and im in love with this vampire who although evil has a kind side…”
GM: “Sooo… your buffy?”
Cloner: “NO IM NOT! Oh my god I cant belive you think that!!!”
199. The Broken Roleplayer & GM side kick
This is the guy who role plays when its good for him, but as soon as he can get the advantage starts answering questions out of play:
Bob: Where did you hide the loot?
John: In the pit
Bob: Is the pit safe?
John: Yes
Bob: I jump in the pit.
GM: You realise the pits floor is false and you fall for 50m. You take damage.
Player1: But I have trapsence! And he told me it was safe!!! How can that happen! John you said it was safe?!
John: I was lieing
Bob: But you didn’t roll bluff and I didn’t role sence motive!
John: Oh I wasn’t answering as my character
200. The Combat Looter
Weather its trying to rip the scales off a almost dead dragon, or trying to grab the coin purse of a rebel before he hits the ground; this guy will loot the body before it realises its on –10.
49: The Lord of the Dice
Owner of enough dice to fill a bag of holding or five. Bringer of as many as they can carry, the lord of the dice is master of anything that rolls to provide a number. not only are they prone to massive die towers and even whole miniature fortreses made of stacked dice, they also use a die instead of a mini for their character, sill compulsively roll dice, and have the most amazing luck when they do need to roll. Do not mistake this luck for cheating, as the rolls are in plain sight for all to see.
Guilty
:DKeeps a running tab on the ratio of males to females used as NPCs, and god help you if females drop bellow 4/10 or appear in waitressing roles. Storms out of your game due to your "blatant sexism" if you use a female villain of any type. Threatens bodily harm when you use the term Blacksmith.
Most often male, and yes that is relivant.
this one may have been covered, and i am sure it has, but i am not gonna look through41 pages to find it.
The rule nazi is the person know never even needs to look at a book, any damn book to tell you how a rule is exactly stated. It is odd that they know everything by heart since they most often do not have one. They also never allow anyone tell venture off the rules even a little bit. You can tell them that in the beginning of the books it even says that these rules are not carved in stone and to do what you want and there is no way in hell he will listen to you....its the only thing in the books he cannot somehow retain in his memory
200: the warlock fundamentalist: Believes that warlocks kick the crap out of ALL other spellcasting classes, despite all evidence to the contrary. 201: Believes that Supernatural Transformation can be used on eldritch blast, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Guilty. Twice.
CO boards: You know, a wizard can do 40d6 with a meteor swarm. Warlocks only do 9d6.
Me: But he can do it AT WILL!
CO Boards: If the encounter is taking long enough for that to matter, your party sucks balls anyway.
Me: YOU suck balls! Warlocks are teh 4w50m357 pwn4g3rz! All others are teh suck4g3, 'kuz warlocks can uze their ztuff!
CO boards: UMD is their only useful class feature. You could get around the need for a skill to emulate other classes by actually PLAYING those classes. Or just play an artificer; they get all the ItCr feats for free, while the warlock would still suck even if you could take every flaw in UA at any point and order they wished.
Me: BASTARDS! DIE AND ROT IN HELL!
(I
warlocks. See my sig.)198 The PC PC
Keeps a running tab on the ratio of males to females used as NPCs, and god help you if females drop bellow 4/10 or appear in waitressing roles. Storms out of your game due to your "blatant sexism" if you use a female villain of any type. Threatens bodily harm when you use the term Blacksmith.
Most often male, and yes that is relivant.
I laughed until it hurt, then kept laughing. Did this actually happen? Females aren't capable of evil acts in this guy's eyes or something? I'm guessing his views will change once he, y'know, talks to one. Or god help us, gets a gf.
Oh and nice hamster...
I especially cannot stand these PC's who leave the D&D session for the week and return to the next session without an idea as to where any of their crap is. And while it's not just character sheets (ie; dice, books, pens and pencils) it is most annoying when they loose their character sheet, because they always need special time to fill out a new one. And then there are always the ones who want to keep the same character per-se, they want to change his class. Then they are asking everyone if they remember what their stats and equipment was, or what experience they were at last.
I especially hate it when they tell the group, "just go ahead and play, I'll poof in ina' minute."
201. The DM PC
This actually is the same guy in my session as #200. He is likewise a DM for a different group, and seems to think that even though he is a PC in my game, he has some sort of authority over the other PC's or rules. For instance, if I get asked a question by a fellow PC, before I can answer he's jamming a book under their nose and rattling off some rule system he uses in his game and has already passed a judgment on it, so I have to say, "No, that's not what happens." and then explain the rules about my game. He came close to being kicked out because a person who was absent the previous week, and missed a lot showed up for the following week. Before the session started, he had already informed this player as to what happened the previous session, what the new experience level was, and had assured him that he'd poofed in along with the party at the beginning of the session.
I, on the other hand, had taken into consideration the missing player the week before and planned that whole week in between a mission he could be doing while the rest of the party was deep in their mission, and they would meet up somewhere down the line. I tried this, and as soon as the game started, I had to explain to the player that had been missing that in fact he was not with the rest of the party, he had received no Experience for the week, and that he was still in the town the party had left from the previous week. No matter how I tried to keep him on his own mission, he kept trying to make his way back to the rest of the party because he knew from the DM PC that they were in serious trouble.
I finally wound up just canceling the game halfway into the session.
1) Jester Drawf from the abyss.
That when the game gets dull for that player it turns into Dancing Dun Drawf fromthe underworld, that can only do 2 things, tell jokes that are in and outta game, make fun of the DM (me) and throw off the game at 10 minutes stints of rolling on the ground laughter every game sessions. Which is good and bad for the game.
2) Playing SW RPG and having laptops being used to look up planets your using to see if you playing it exactly as it is written somewhere online and correcting you when they feel you aren't following what they have found on the net.
Ugh......(GM summons mynock nest to eat player PC) :D .
Anyway, I think some are still missing, despite all the 41 pages ...
Incompetent At Math -type. A basic "1d8+6" roll, die roll results 3, and it takes 20 seconds from him/her to calculate it. Of course, this results in other players telling the real answer in a matter of seconds.
Too competent at math -type. I admit to be part of this. I regularly count the results of other people's rolls quicker than they do. Like 3d6, resulting 3 4 5 is 12. Plus barbarian rage and yadda yadda results in 26 or whatever.
And the type I hate the most... (no offense, people)
DYSLEXIC
Because they never seem to read the rules correctly, and then play by the false rules and are stubborn about how it works. I HATE THEM, AARGH, HULK SMASH.
Anybody who memorizes the most trivial and pointless rules and then shoves that knowledge down your throat at the most inconvenient times.
Hehe, its enough people that are disliked I see.
The only problem with this thread, is that it actually includes EVERY player I have ever met, or will ever meet. If anyone, of you can honestly read through all the "hated character" stuff, and honestly say you dont fit into at LEAST one of the things mentioned. I believe you are a liar.
I mean, you cover every possible weakness and strongness in everybody! Its not possible not to make one of you go crazy
Actually I've been through 4 pages of this (not much I know), and the only thing I am guilty of is playing similar characters all the time (human monks for example, since I train martial arts and I just generally like the flavor). This isn't a bad thing however ^^
Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better.
LOL Faustus, I love Dreyfus, he's crazy rofl. Clouseau rocks!
I also have one of these in my group; he always plays one of a handful of characters (Minitar, Human Fighter, Dwarf Fighter). Always comes up with a natural 20 when he needs one. Prone to do stupid things, but survive. Incredibly annoying does not describe him.
Aluroon
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Omg I think we're playing in the same group lol. We got a guy who always plays a dwarf fighter. His luck makes me sick, and it's sometimes annoying lol. He ALWAYS does the stupidest things no one would do, and ALWAYS survives them. He ALWAYS get a high number when he needs one, he hits with most of his attacks all the time. Several times, he managed to bluff several guards into letting him into mansions and similar, and that with a cha score of 8 or something lol. Fighting against him in an arena match was extremely annoying. He would always try things not included in rules, and seemingly impossible to do. The DM usually allowed it, thinking he couldn't do it anyway. Guess what happened...he rolls either a 20 or a really high number. I'm happy for him and all, but his luck annoys me sometimes really. He always does the stupidest, most evil (if that's his alignment), impossible things, and NEVER suffers any consequences for them. This is the kind of a guy who would kick the tarrasque's butt with a level 1 dwarven fighter lol...
#165 The English professor
He habitually corrects the speech/writing of others, often while himself making rabid spelling errors. Often thinks there's something wrong with "ain't", which there ain't. Gets bothered when someone casts off the arbitrary structurization of the English language.
#166 The Gimp
This one will upset everything.The table, the drinks, your dog, the TV, he's a clums-oaf. Including game balance with some munchkin character to compensate for his natural inability IRL.
"The Grammar Ripper"
Purposely misspells, uses bad grammar and punctuation just to hack people off or make him/herself look 'cool' regardless of what said actions do to the readability of his written prose, and regardless of how hard it makes it to read/understand said prose. More often populating message or online games that live ones, but can be found in other game formats. Often has a tendency to post with no capital letters, in 'leet' speak, with no punctuation or on-purpose misspellings. When anyone dares to ask them to make an attempt to type clearly, they tend to call them a 'grammar nazi'. He/she also tends to leap all over other people's typos to attempt to defend his/her own _purposeful_ bad grammar, bad punctuation and/or misspellings.
This is the player who plays only because their significant other is playing. They don't learn the rules, pay attention, or do anything constructive at all. Most of their time is spent distracting their significant other.
Gets even worse if the significant other is the DM. In which case expect this player to complain about everything, expect the lowest rolls to succeed or be allowed to reroll for no good reason at all, expect to be allowed to make attacks until they kill what ever they are fighting, and a laundry list of other problems.
I personally have DMed groups with one of these players in it on three seperate occations and played with one on two different times. This has lead me to ban significant others from my games I run or that are run at my house.
How to let players be stoopid at their own expenses
Idiosyncrasies
DYSLEXIC
Because they never seem to read the rules correctly, and then play by the false rules and are stubborn about how it works. I HATE THEM, AARGH, HULK SMASH.
I'm with you on this boat. Namely because I'm Dyslexic and have none of these problems; namely because I take my time and re-read the rules a good number of times to make sure I've gotten them down correctly. I suppose I can 'build' off of this one though:
The 'Dyslexic'
This person blames any sort of failing/error/screwup/whatever on the fact that they're dyslexic when, in most cases, they're just faking it so they don't look like idiots.
-----
I had a player like that. Quite annoying.
-Gene
Too competent at math -type. I admit to be part of this. I regularly count the results of other people's rolls quicker than they do. Like 3d6, resulting 3 4 5 is 12. Plus barbarian rage and yadda yadda results in 26 or whatever.
Hey, as long as we too competent at math-types don't look at other people's dice, we don't know the answer before them, because we never looked - they can add it up as slow as they want (as long as it's not holding up the game like the too slow at math-types.
And the type I hate the most... (no offense, people)
DYSLEXIC
Because they never seem to read the rules correctly, and then play by the false rules and are stubborn about how it works. I HATE THEM, AARGH, HULK SMASH.
Dyslexia and stubbornness are two different things. I'm dyslexic, but I'm the library of D&D knowledge in my game. In my modern d20 game on sundays, I'm the only one who isn't a football fan. They were all talking about the bears game, and joked how if I ever got into football I'd be a football statistician in less than a year saying things like "Oh well that's his 5th interception so we can't expect much more from him." I was quite amused by the way everyone viewed me in that group because despite being dyslexic, I have a very good memory (and a semi-photographic memory) and I can analyze data pretty well.
Stubborn players definitely one of the 101 worst players ever to have in a game though ;)
This person believes that only the players get to be important. Peasants, commoners, merchants and city guards all supposedly lead empty, two-dimensional lives who never change; they should remain in the same place, moving nowhere, doing nothing of importance unless directly influenced by players. If a merchant has an expensive item they can't afford and later (after a dungeon crawl) come back to buy, it MUST still be there, no one else could have bought it. Usually they play a lot of CRPGs where this is a rule, and don't understand the concept of a dynamic, realistic world.
Some also take this further by refusing to believe that NPCs can have multiple levels. Everyone else is supposed to have only one HD, and are total pushovers, even city guards. Once the PC has a few levels under his belt, he'll think he's the great hero and can do anything, because no commoner is any match for him. Will be extremely surprised when the guards mob, beat and disarm him, then lock him up, because they should theoretically run around and attack him one by one while he picks them off with one swordswipe each.
Oh, and there's also the player who sincerely thinks NPCs have no brain or guile at all, make blatant assumptions based on first impressions, and can't see through even the simplest deception. They will be very surprised when the friendly sage for whom they've run errands is really the villain, who has used them to further his own schemes. (They then complain that they should've noticed what he was up to, which they didn't, because they were so sure he was a kindly old sage.) Actually they're a lot of fun to string along, as long as you can endure the indignant tirade that will ensue.
Dyslexia and stubbornness are two different things.
Thankfully I know that, but I'm surprised they come in pairs very often.
Dyslexic people is the reason I hate the spell Fist of Stone. *******it why must a spell be so damn incomprehensible?
Thankfully I know that, but I'm surprised they come in pairs very often.
Dyslexic people is the reason I hate the spell Fist of Stone. *******it why must a spell be so damn incomprehensible?
Oh, I'm stubborn alright, but not because i'm dyslexic and I think I'm right. I'm just sick of people trying to intimidate their way to appearing right. If you're right, prove it with logic and reason, not by being a pain in the butt.
Haha, yeah that's why there's rule zero. "I don't care what it says, if you're going to fight with me how a 1st level spell is supposed to be better than a 2nd level spell, 'but only for a minute' then the spell doesn't exist. Pick something else in it's place." But I imagine your players even give you trouble with that, huh?
Week 1: "I saw this great new anime, (X). I want to play a character like (X)."
Week 3: "Man, I saw a show called (Y), I wanna play (Y). Can we write out my old guy so I can play (Y)?"
Week 6: "Have you seen (Z)? Wouldn't a character based on (Z) be awesome? I made one up."
Week 10: "I started watching (X) again, and I kinda miss playing (X), can we write him back in?"
Oh, I'm stubborn alright, but not because i'm dyslexic and I think I'm right. I'm just sick of people trying to intimidate their way to appearing right. If you're right, prove it with logic and reason, not by being a pain in the butt.
Haha, yeah that's why there's rule zero. "I don't care what it says, if you're going to fight with me how a 1st level spell is supposed to be better than a 2nd level spell, 'but only for a minute' then the spell doesn't exist. Pick something else in it's place." But I imagine your players even give you trouble with that, huh?
Let me then elaborate what makes me so aggravted about dyslexic people (I've been diagnosed as slightly dyslexic, but there's no concrete evidence. Seems like everyone is dyslexic in a way these days): So, it was a Living Greyhawk game, and one stubborn/dyslexic person had read the spell in a very odd way, and was constantly trying to prove that he could use a weapon of sorts and add the Fist of Stone's strength bonus, despite it being then better than Bull's Strength. All 6 other people there were saying "No, it does not work that way", yet he was making it worse by the second.
And nor did I mean that stubborness comes with dyslexia or vice versa, merely that I've seen many people who are both. Partially it might be because everyone hates to be wrong. If a dyslexic person misreads a rule or feat or whatever and then gets some superb idea, and later finds out it doesn't work at all, he/she is disappointed, naturally.
If people see my messages offensive, I don't understand why. Yeah, I might bring out my view out a bit strongly, but never should it be taken personally. This is teh internets, after all.
But, another bad player type:
Nuisance
He's irritating in the game table, and won't leave after the game. Instead he stays to tell you something you just don't give a flying *beep* about. Despite kicking him out of the group he constantly bothers and attempts to make an uncalled visit when it's most unappropiate.
Heh, no worries. As said, it's hard to see the tone of the text written without any aids (heh, aids. sorry, bad pun).
aids? A pun? how? Are you refering to Aquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome? How is aids funny, unless we were already on the subject of diseases? I think I missed something.
Aids, plural of aid.
Yes, I understand what you said. I fail to see the connection to it actually being a pun though.
The rougue who is obsessed with stealing and never wants to help out the party and is a complete noob (I mean has only read about rougues and thats it) and is only playing because my friends mom made us let her play. Yea, so far in my experiences thats my least favorite kind of character.
#73 The Retarted Zealot
The super-religious guy with Asperger's who HAS to play a paladin, and spouts off a 10 minute long string of overly righteous hyperbole every time he opens his mouth unless you tell him to shut up. He spends half the game walking in tight circles next to the table.
I take a little offense at this, for although I'm not religious, I do play paladins a lot, and I DO have Asperperger's. It actually helps me when I'm trying to concentrate on something because I'm able to ignore distractions. Yes, I know I tend to wander sometimes, but that's just the way my brain is wired and I can't control that. So, lay off a little, please? On the other hand, I'm sorry that you got stuck with such a bad representative of my particular mental condition. One bad apple....
# ??? The full-time girlfriend / boyfriend (Usually a girlfriend but not always)
This is the player who plays only because their significant other is playing. They don't learn the rules, pay attention, or do anything constructive at all. Most of their time is spent distracting their significant other.
Gets even worse if the significant other is the DM. In which case expect this player to complain about everything, expect the lowest rolls to succeed or be allowed to reroll for no good reason at all, expect to be allowed to make attacks until they kill what ever they are fighting, and a laundry list of other problems.
I personally have DMed groups with one of these players in it on three seperate occations and played with one on two different times. This has lead me to ban significant others from my games I run or that are run at my house.
im kinda guilty of this. i have on several occasions pleaded to my girlfriend to play. needless to say it would always end up with her falling asleep five minutes later on my lap or reading a book. i think ill just stick to taking her to the movies
On the other hand, I'm sorry that you got stuck with such a bad representative of my particular mental condition. One bad apple....
That should be, "One bad Aspie..." ;)
#XXX(X?): The player actually thinks it would be 'fun' and 'normal' to play Pun Pun.
This person always, and i do mean always, plays a evil character who'se only goal in life is to be a sneaky lil...."friend"...who plans on murdering half the people in town, selling their stuff, and useing the money and exp to make himself stronger then the rest of the group. He then normally has the gonads to say to everyone else after his treachery has been revealed. "I don't see why you don't play evil."
Also as a DM he tends to do nothing but make the lvl one wizard who likes the sleep spell useless!! But i digress.
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
This is me... Particularly with D6s. My DM lets everyone have an automatic 6 on the their ability score rolls. Everyone except me that is... If I had the six I would have all 18s. She makes me roll four D6 discard lowest roll, and my stats are still 16, 16, 14, 17, 18, 15. fourtunately for her I am playing a half elf, otherwise I would be the only person in our group with a 20 on an ability score.
D20s however hate me... i dunno why.
That should be, "One bad Aspie..." ;)
Wah-wah..
The player who keeps complaining that the party paladin has a juvenile Silver Dragon as a special mount (high-level campaign), even though he was there for character creation and the dragon mount had been okay'ed by the DM beforehand. Out of game, this guy is a good friend of mine. In game, however, he kept complaining about my character's mount even though all our characters had something special.
Originally Posted by SphyreOriginally Posted by Fsi-Dib
Heh, no worries. As said, it's hard to see the tone of the text written without any aids (heh, aids. sorry, bad pun).
aids? A pun? how? Are you refering to Aquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome? How is aids funny, unless we were already on the subject of diseases? I think I missed something.
It's because it's been 23.5 years. That and Jared (from sub-way) wants to give them to you.
This guy NEVER reads the last sentence or two of a spell, feat, or other description from a book. This guy constantly tries to do things which make absolutely no sense, but swears up and down that the book doesn't prohibit whatever it is he's trying to do. When the rest of the group looks up the rule in question, it turns out he's wrong. Strangely enough, whenever he makes a mistake about the rules, the mistake is always in HIS favor.
-The SECRET KEEPER-
The guy whose character gets a secret and insists on keeping it from the rest of the group, even if such secrecy leads to the death of the entire party. This person keeps as much information about his character's past as possible a secret and would rather watch his friends and comrades die rather than tell them some juicy bit of info that could possibly save their lives... or possibly even finish the quest.
-THE SELECTIVE READER-
This guy NEVER reads the last sentence or two of a spell, feat, or other description from a book. This guy constantly tries to do things which make absolutely no sense, but swears up and down that the book doesn't prohibit whatever it is he's trying to do. When the rest of the group looks up the rule in question, it turns out he's wrong. Strangely enough, whenever he makes a mistake about the rules, the mistake is always in HIS favor.
-The SECRET KEEPER-
The guy whose character gets a secret and insists on keeping it from the rest of the group, even if such secrecy leads to the death of the entire party. This person keeps as much information about his character's past as possible a secret and would rather watch his friends and comrades die rather than tell them some juicy bit of info that could possibly save their lives... or possibly even finish the quest.
My group got one of those SECRET KEEPER people. Wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that the secret, which is a spell book, contains spells that have the potential to be beneficial for the whole party. That is, if he could learn to share the book!
47: Devourer
No foodstuffs are safe withing hte reach of a devourer. expect the table to be cleaned off in seconds after they sit down. They could probably run an all-you-can-eat resturant out of business if they atacked it the way they attack your munchies, but seem to only exhibit this behavior in sessions
48: piX[b][i][u][color=hotpink]Y[/color][/u][/i][/b] St1X:
Beware this one, for they always carry around many Pixy sticks and keep themselves in a prepetual sugar rush. they are mildly insane and very hyper.
49: The Lord of the Dice
Owner of enough dice to fill a bag of holding or five. Bringer of as many as they can carry, the lord of the dice is master of anything that rolls to provide a number. not only are they prone to massive die towers and even whole miniature fortreses made of stacked dice, they also use a die instead of a mini for their character, sill compulsively roll dice, and have the most amazing luck when they do need to roll. Do not mistake this luck for cheating, as the rolls are in plain sight for all to see.
I know this thread is kind of old, but i'm bored at work and trying to entertain myself for the next 2 hours before quitting time. That being said the #48 pixie stix definition made me laugh so hard I had to bite my tongue lest I make my coworkers wonder why I'm cracking up in front of my monitor.
I'm asleep. Now I'm downstairs.
This player will have contradictory player actions based on metagame data but it always leads to being beneficial for him/her.
Example: Player A just announced that he has gone upstairs to his inn room to go to sleep. His character *is* asleep. A few minutes later, an NPC comes into the downstairs area and begins talking to the rest of the group about some powerful object. Suddenly, Player A's character is coming downstairs pell-mell to get in on the action.
High stats are best
This player *insists* that any set of stats given by the DM must include at least one 18, possibly even two 18s.
Player, not DM
This player is constantly arguing with the DM about some ruling or something that happens in the game instead of waiting til after the game session to bring it up. When asked if he would prefer to be the DM for a session, he tells the DM that he (the DM) is doing just fine. Usually, this player is one that seemingly contradicts him/herself by wanting to be ultra-powerful from the start but also wanting to gain that ultra-power during game play.
Behold, my powerful army at level 1
This player doesn't get the concept that, at level 1, they have absolutely *nothing* to entice any NPCs to join them in an army. Not a single thing. Yet, this player (playing a cleric) insists that converting people to his religion would make them want to be in his army under his complete control.
i like to play a pair of rogue sisters one the equivelent to a 13 year old human, but related to a stealthy cat deity, often a sneak attacking skill monkey with arcane spells on the side and her older sister who is equivelent to a 16 year old human and specializes in assassination,
the 13 year old is playful, mischievious, affectionate, curious, agile and an oppurtunist, her older sister has drastic mood swings, total personality switch, can go from whimsically fun to serious killer, afectionate and playful when neccessary, curious but not as curious, and only half as mischievious. both pale skinned, brown haired and stickbuilt, the younger with hazel eyes the older with blue,
(both are the daughters of the cat god and a human female but are indistuinguishable from humans, younger, 13, shuriken nekogami, wears green and black older 16, kodachi nekogami, wears red and black swap tiefling energy immunities for immunity to poison and disease, tiefling base)
other concepts
a katana wielding catfolk assassin who fights up close and works as an innkeeper as cover, has his clumsy innkeeper cover personality, his gotta get it over with for the money personality and his serious kill for fun personality
( catfolk ninja of a shinekko clan, yami shinobi, black fur with white belly, paws and chin, dresses in black and purple)
A light armored cleric of celestial blood emphasized on healing, because she happens to be a peaceful (pacifist) goodie two shoes who on the outside wouldn't hurt a fly unless she had no choice where she can be deadly (aasimaar cleric, luminiere solas, swap daylight for another 2 cure light wounds, wears nothing heavier than a chain shirt as well as a robe resembling FF white mage robe, long blonde hair, blue eyes, pale, slim and short)
#9999
The Needle in the haystack
a player who tries to ask the dm what classes combine the traits they want, sometimes a n00b, maybe someone that lacks resources (such as myself, when i play i have to make sure the DM supplies dice and most of the books,)
the person with only a PHB and MM1 trying to create strange chars that fit wierd cliche rpg concepts, such as an underage spellcasting pickpocket, who happens to be a perfect skill monkey, thus asking for the rogues reflexes and skills with every taken class, to fit the pickpocket's agility and skill variety, as well as spellcasting ability,
or the aasimarr based cleric who alters the spell like abilty swapping daylight for 2 additional castings of cure light wounds and is labeled as a medium celestial fey instead of an outsider, but has outsider traits, the pickpocket uses rogue skill points on every class, as well as good reflex saves that become freaking perfect.
these seem simalar to the uniques, i don't see why a class should be limited by description, i remember reading in the PHB that you could edit certian class features to fit your character, i took the sorcerer levels, and swapped the familiar for better reflex progression, rogues skill points and extra sneak attack die every 2 levels. this creates a customized sorcerer with less dead levels, i even made intellegence the key ability instead of charisma.
just to fit relation to a god of cats. (the pickpocket was shuriken nekogami)
the Just Go Get A Room Couple
This was actually a friend of mine and his girlfriend at the time. I gave up even trying to play in their campaign. My buddy was the DM which made it suck even more. His girlfriend's character and his favorite NPC would have blatantly sexual encounters and the other players and I would just stare in awe. I mean, they'd roleplay the nastiest, kinkiest crap while the rest of us wanted to get on with the campaign. To make it worse, as a DM my friend actually sucked and he didn't even try to hide the favoritism he showed his girlfriend. He couldn't understand why I decided not to game with him anymore either.
Mr. Cruisin' for a Bruisin'
I shouldn't make fun of this guy, since he's actually dead. Killed himself a few years ago. But back in the mid 80's when another friend was trying to get me to play DnD with his group this guy used to get on my last nerve. He was a nerdy kind of guy that couldn't punch his way out of wet toilet paper, but he talked big all of the time and in places and situations where sheer self preservation would tell you not to. My friend asked if he could hold a game at my place so I told him yeah, sure. He invirtes Mr. CfaB. Mr. CfaB then comes into my house and instantly begins talking smack and puts his feet up on my coffee table. I was completely shocked that this tiny guy had the nerve to do that but I politely asked him to take his feet off of my furniture. His reply? "Make me.".
I usually wouldn't brag about hurting a guy that had no chance of winning, but man, the ***whipping he recieved was poetry in motion. I wouldn't let him in my house for weeks after that until he basically begged me to and apologized. Since i let my friend game in my house he couldn't join the campaign until I relented. He never talked smack to me again, though.
This next one is actually from an online rp group I was in. I actually liked the group, but even when the campaign is play by post it gets boring when the otherwise capable DM becomes
MIA DM
He was hardly there, or stopped posting at a regular pace. This slowed things enough that it got boring and soon after I sytopped bothering to log in. nothing was happening. In the guys defense though, I had met him in person and I knew he had a lot of stuff going on in RL. The only thing was we also had another guy in the group that was the online version of Mr. center of Attention. He had to be the main character and the MIA DM catered to him so much that the other players got bored and resentful and kind of bailed shortly after I did. It was too bad, since I was enjoying the group.
LG mod: Parent brings a young kid (7-8 year old child) to the mod and they both play characters they've had for a while. The parent essentially run's the child's character, despite assertions that kid is a great and experienced roleplayer.
At some point, the parent tells the child to do something that get's the kid's character killed. Then the kid is in tears, and the parent is mad at everyone but himself/herself.
Physics? What physics?
This player (after someone else in the party uses clairvoyance to see the room on the other side of a door) describes his intention for the coming round as, and I quote (well, okay, paraphrase):
"I'm going to break down the door with my shoulder, tuck and roll a few feet to avoid the archer's ambush, leap up and catch the chandelier, swing across to the other side of the room, drop into a crouch while drawing both my swords, and attack the two guys at the bottom of the stairs."
Oh, and if you tell him that's a lot of action for a 6 second round, he says "I could do it!"
These people latch onto one aspect of a character's personality and play that aspect to the hilt. Normally, this wouldn't be so bad, as it would make for interesting RP, and properly harnessed, can be useful in combat. The danger comes when that single aspect has a chance to run wild. In that case, RUN, for the poodoo is about to hit the fan. Pray these people never decide to play a paladin, for they WILL be Judge Dredd-types.
Oh, and if you tell him that's a lot of action for a 6 second round, he says "I could do it!"
To which the answer is: "Go on, then."
Single-aspect character player.
These people latch onto one aspect of a character's personality and play that aspect to the hilt. Normally, this wouldn't be so bad, as it would make for interesting RP, and properly harnessed, can be useful in combat. The danger comes when that single aspect has a chance to run wild. In that case, RUN, for the poodoo is about to hit the fan. Pray these people never decide to play a paladin, for they WILL be Judge Dredd-types.
"I knew you'd say that."
#27 (I think that's the count right now...): The Sci-Fi Fan.
He won't be happy til his gnome wizard has a repeating rail-gun, flamethrower, powered armor and whatnot.
This is my Artificer right now, and the party loves him. Not that he HAS any of this stuff, but he's figuring out how to invent such things.
This other guy... can't exactly find a name for him. Had him in an online PBEM game of Adventure (Storyteller system). Had nearly but not fully maxed his intelligence and science skill, (i.e. four dots in each... if he'd taken the full five, I might have bought his concept better) and wanted to use that for everything, in this particular case, opening a lock. He figured that lock construction was engineering, and engineering was science, so he could just look into the keyhole, see how the lock was constructed, and then use his superior intellect to figure out how to best open it.
I told him that the 'science of opening locks' was called larceny and he had no dots in it, and peeking into the keyhole (which was roughly three millimeters wide) revealed nothing because he couldn't see anything. He replied that this was his character, and that if I, quote, 'thought I could stop him from playing the man of SCIENCE! who uses his superior intellect to solve everything, then I am wrong'.
Yeah, he told me I couldn't stop him from using a skill for something it wasn't even distantly meant for. Me being the DM (or rather the ST). He rolled, I said he didn't get enough successes (having decided the required number of successes was 43...), and he stopped posting.
This is the guy who makes a CE character primed for PK-ing, but only does the PK-ing when the other party members are close to -1 hp. Last (and only, thankfully) time this happened, Mr. Survival of The Fittest proceeded to off a party member who had been severely hit by red-dragonsfire, and was slightly charred. The character was still alive though, or at least, was until that hammer squished him. This was done in front of witnesses who testified to the player's guilt in front of the whole party, and when the party carried out the punishment, Mr. Survival of The Fittest got angry and stormed out of the room. Last time I gamed with him.
Mr Elaborate is the guy who I had to suffer a while. He'd insist on describing elaborate moves, like crouching and jumping upward as he slashes the foes throat, or whirling around, or striking at the foe's neck. Not that anyone minds that part, as it's a bit interesting. No, it's because he thinks doing so will give him great bonuses and other advantages, such as insta-killing a foe with a neck chop.
Wow. I played with a guy just like this. It was insane. He wanted to do all sorts of things, and when I said, "OK, the baddie takes twelve damage and attacks", he said, "Dude, I crushed his neck! He can't have survived."
Another bad player type is the obsessive movie recreator. He just has to play the hero of the last movie he saw. It wouldn't be too bad, except it means he changes characters every single week.
wasnt there a site about this i think its RPGnow i think it gose on about how a fat person and his pals had some girl they burned with smokes ect.
It was about the most creepiest person you had ever gamed with, and I do not wish to be reminded of it. I think the winner was a tie between the guy who ran a one-off for a Brazilian death-squad and the case you mentioned, which is too complex to go into here but involved discovering that a player had habits so unsavory that the police had to charge them with assault when they arrived to cart him away.
This is nothing like that, trust me. I had to bleach my brain after reading that thread.
This player (sometimes me), given any amount of die rolls, just can't seem to roll anything above a 10. Often dies in combat against enemies that he could have easily killed had he landed blows on them.
this guy thinks the assassin is a broken prestige and tries to ban it, it isn't that much better than a common rogue, nor is the arcane trickster, this person may think that other classes such as figther or any spellcaster is broken, i have tried several times to make base class versions of the arcane trickster, shadowdancer, and asassin,
some balanced, some not. wizards and sorcerers do not get enough spells in my opinion, even with high ability scores, i believe they should use a power point system similar to the psion. heck, just call the points something else and don't stack them with psion.
examples, l0 spells may take 1 pp, level 1 spells may take 3 pp, level 2 6, level 3 9, level 4 12, level 5, 15, level 6 18, level 7 21, level 8 24, level 9 27, spells with xp costs can resuire an additional 1 pp per 100 XP in cost, instead of xp, treat caster level a smanifester level for power points, base wizard/sorcerer from psion, get rid of spell components and spellbooks, combine the class skills of both, and make it a hybrid class that replaces both, i also see this working for the healer, cleric, and druid, paladins and rangers could use the system for psychic warriors, but with spells, keep the key abilities the same.
This guy has a habit to making weird characters that just don't fit into the rest of the party, partially because of someling like race or alignment. The reckless aspect comes in when they try to cast a spell or use an ability that, due to environmental conditions or the current combat situation, could result in damage or death to one or more party members. Wouldn't be too bad if they'd just pay attention when the DM was talking. Example: WoW RPG game + Silverpine Forest + at NIGHT (the WoW players out there are already cringing) + powerful evocation spell = (as the Robot from Lost in Space would say) "Danger, Will Robinson!" Fortunately the DM used Rule 0 (which he rarely does), and had our boss protect us from getting ganked.
However, in the players' own defense, he learned his lesson, and AFAIK, has never done that again.
(usually a line delivered just as the game is getting interesting for everyone else and the plot is starting to unfold, and everyone has managed to acquire some decent stuff).
This player will start to get tired when the game is really getting good and will make mistakes in the game and will want to stop for the night. They can sleep in all day tomorrow but for some reason if they get tired then that is it. The game stops and at the very fun or crucial point. Can't these people drink some coffee or something?!!
Another bad player type is the obsessive movie recreator. He just has to play the hero of the last movie he saw. It wouldn't be too bad, except it means he changes characters every single week.
Somehow, some people can't quite grasp the idea that Conan, Batman and Riddick are a bit higher than first level.
In a related vein, how about Level 1 Veteran? You're supposed to all be first level, yet he's playing a 50 year old veteran of the wars who's seen everything, been everywhere, and can do everything. When he fails to hit a goblin because he does have BAB of 1, he rants how he slew dozens of soldiers at the battle of blahblahblah and is better than that. Thinks 'roleplaying' (in his case, bragging and overcompensating) somehow compensates for low scores.
Reckless, Weird One players
This guy has a habit to making weird characters that just don't fit into the rest of the party, partially because of someling like race or alignment.
It's bizarre, but some players seem to think that the best way to create an interesting character is to be obnoxious, annoying, and fit into the group like a square peg in a round hole. Guess they think obnoxiousness make for good group dynamic. It doesn't.
A player I had would always create snarky, cynical, bitter loners who would drop depreciating and inappropriate comments all the time. In one game (in a modern setting) he arrived at a party where the widely popular band, after getting famous country-wide, had come back to play for the prom in the town they came from, as a way of giving back to the community. Great people, huh? So what does he say when he steps inside? "Huh. I thought we'd have entertainment with some actual talent." He spent the rest of the night wondering why no one wanted to talk to him.
Not sure if this one's been mentioned... Mr Solo. He (or, in one of my cases, she) constantly has to go off to do things on his own, and drag the DM spotlight with him. Sometimes it's to do things important to the plot (like sneaking into the enemy camp, or meet a secret contact); sometimes it's just to do things for fun. The result is the same: the rest of the players have to sit and twiddle their thumbs because they can't do anything.
In the most memorable case, we were playing city guards. For some reason, one character constantly attempted to sneak away, EVEN THOUGH WE WERE ON DUTY, to sell various jewelry she obtained before the game started. And not just "I sell the ring for so-so much and go back", no, she had to roleplay in excruciating detail while we had to put our investigation of the murders on hold. We found out she was a diehard LARPer who deeply believed that roleplaying should be done for roleplaying alone, not 'trying to get things done' or 'finding loot' or 'defeating foes'. No, she apparently took the opposite stance of roleplaying pointlessness. That, and she was a diva. She became pretty upset when the DM tried to return attention to us before she was done with her antics.
Not that it wasn't entertaining in the end, mind you. The DM sent her some mishaps to subtly suggest that she wasn't getting further, though she failed to grasp them. First the blacksmith refused to pay more than a pittance for her emerald and gold ring, because he didn't need it. So she summoned a dragon (!) to melt the ring on the cobbles so she could sell the gems separately. Emeralds don't hold up too well at that heat, though, so she lost a valuable heirloom and gained a clunky cobblestone with a puddle of gold on it. Then she took the clue to return... for a while.
This is the player who eats the NPCs. Humanoid, aberration, undead...construct. He will put bits of them in his mouth and dare you to punish him for it. If pushed with poisoning or worse, he'll just devote a skill point/level to Profession (Exotic Cook). He'll take Skill Focus for it. Max ranks in Survival, too. It's actually interesting until he stops waiting for his meals to prepare themselves. -.-
The Last of the Mohicans
This guy also takes max ranks in Survival, in numerous Craft skills, and in Profession (Native American). He will strip anything that dies of anything it's got, from useless gear to skin to bones to minor organs. He will make a waterskin out of the king's daughter's left lung. He will wear a kobold costume made out of real kobolds to Gnomish social functions. He will insist that he can build armor spikes out of pseudodragon toes. He just needs more pseudodragons. Nothing is safe from the Last of the Mohicans; he is an expert at hearing a casual, bland monster description and figuring out from there no less then fifty-two thousand components he can render it into.
The Level 1 Level 20
Somebody, somewhere, made a build, and this player knows about it, and he will constantly approach the world as though he already completed it. Any problem that cannot be solved triggers a surge of incessant whining about how lame early levels are, and how good he's going to be. Loves playing gish builds with early ranks in Wizard. Addicted to melee combat. Will never survive to level 7.
The Zomg
In this player's case, Zomg stands for 'Zombies?! Oh My God!'. Either a Cleric, or worse, a Dread Necromancer, his lifelong ambition is to take over the world with a plague of undead, which is awesome, except he brings his horde EVERYWHERE and insists on trying to use it all in combat. Or for anything. Seriously, okay, undead armies are cool. 900 actions in a round because you insist on rolling for your useless freaking entourage to hit the dragon whose TOUCH AC is triple their HITPOINTS.
DM: Roll for Initiative.
Dread Necro 9: Um, I got a 14 overall...
DM: Okay, so, Tom...
Dread Necro 9: Wait! And I have 72 HD worth of Zombie Warriors I need to roll for...EVERY
ROUND!The Good Doctor Lecter
This is the player who eats the NPCs. Humanoid, aberration, undead...construct. He will put bits of them in his mouth and dare you to punish him for it. If pushed with poisoning or worse, he'll just devote a skill point/level to Profession (Exotic Cook). He'll take Skill Focus for it. Max ranks in Survival, too. It's actually interesting until he stops waiting for his meals to prepare themselves. -.-
The Last of the Mohicans
This guy also takes max ranks in Survival, in numerous Craft skills, and in Profession (Native American). He will strip anything that dies of anything it's got, from useless gear to skin to bones to minor organs. He will make a waterskin out of the king's daughter's left lung. He will wear a kobold costume made out of real kobolds to Gnomish social functions. He will insist that he can build armor spikes out of pseudodragon toes. He just needs more pseudodragons. Nothing is safe from the Last of the Mohicans; he is an expert at hearing a casual, bland monster description and figuring out from there no less then fifty-two thousand components he can render it into.
The Level 1 Level 20
Somebody, somewhere, made a build, and this player knows about it, and he will constantly approach the world as though he already completed it. Any problem that cannot be solved triggers a surge of incessant whining about how lame early levels are, and how good he's going to be. Loves playing gish builds with early ranks in Wizard. Addicted to melee combat. Will never survive to level 7.
The Zomg
In this player's case, Zomg stands for 'Zombies?! Oh My God!'. Either a Cleric, or worse, a Dread Necromancer, his lifelong ambition is to take over the world with a plague of undead, which is awesome, except he brings his horde EVERYWHERE and insists on trying to use it all in combat. Or for anything. Seriously, okay, undead armies are cool. 900 actions in a round because you insist on rolling for your useless freaking entourage to hit the dragon whose TOUCH AC is triple their HITPOINTS.
DM: Roll for Initiative.
Dread Necro 9: Um, I got a 14 overall...
DM: Okay, so, Tom...
Dread Necro 9: Wait! And I have 72 HD worth of Zombie Warriors I need to roll for...EVERY
Man, I love EVERY "bad" player type you just listed; especially the last of the mohicans guy.
I love the 1 to 20 guy, as I am alittle bit sadistic (or whatever the correct word is) and glean joy from watching him fail; practicum over theory ftw!
I like Hannible because... well.... I just do. If he begins to eat his own kind though, I usually have the gods smite him via some type of divine agent, or getting caught by the law. Nothin' beats the Grell player eatin' the pixie player (grell are from hackmaster).
ZOMG player, well...okay I don't like him SO much, but he's no Mr. Solo for spot-light stealing.
the Last of the Mohicans is such awesome flavor for a character, I cannot describe it with my clumsy words.
This guy thinks he's an excellent strategist. He's got tons of charisma, and the group looks to him to lead. The problem: he really can't plan. He's the guy who tries to sneak over the rooftops... in broad daylight... wearing heavy armor. He usually dies quickly because of his poor planning, which wouldn't be a problem, but all the other PCs blindly follow him to their deaths, resulting in new characters all around. Somehow, no one ever notices the pattern, so he continues to be the tactical leader.
Syndrome #1
Aaron Adam's Syndrome
(named after high school classmate)
Description (minimum 60% of list qualifies)
_in every tabletop and MMO you play, you try to create the perfect army of minions rather than being a skilled player
_in D&D you think elves should get every class feature just because you think they did in some older edition, but you cannot prove it.
_ You never play what you deem against type
_ You think Dragons, Elves, and Draconic or Elflike creatures are the best, and thus create a "Broken" Dragon Summoning Elf, who can control and summon any munchkin dragon at level 1, you also think that there is a level 0 spell called "Control Human" that lets you control anything with an intelegence over 3 and/or opposable thumbs
_when you play said dragon sumoning elf, it is always a High Elf (players handbook), and you make them out to be thier own class with the barbarians hit die, fighter feats, full sorcerer spellcasting, full rogue abilites and all that stuff just so you don't have to take multiclassing drawbacks (weaknesses, penalties and all that)
syndrome #2
(also named after a high school classmate)
Description (60% of list qualifies)
Jeffrey Bloor Syndrome
_you encourage everybody to play an elf, just cause they live so darn long to the point you push it, though the campaign allows other races
_ when you gotta show everyone your various collections and archives while they are over ( some of his archives are inapropiate and thus i cannot say them, though he had a medium D&D archive last i saw)
_ when you don't allow certain names or classes, just because you think they don't fit the setting, when there are ways they could go quite wel
_ when you push which details you think suit the characters and totally take over other peoples characters
_ when you are actually taking over the rolling of other peoples characters, though you choose your friendly neighbor to be dm
_ when you only accept characters that sound interesting to you (the intent, i edited it)
if you suffer at least 60% of these idiocies for either syndrome, you may have the corresponding match and will pass positive
Here are some bad player syndromes
syndrome #2
(also named after a high school classmate)
Description (60% of list qualifies)
Jeffrey Bloor Syndrome
_you encourage everybody to play an elf, just cause they live so darn long to the point you push it, though the campaign allows other races
_ when you gotta show everyone your various collections and archives while they are over ( some of his archives are inapropiate and thus i cannot say them, though he had a medium D&D archive last i saw)
_ when you don't allow certain names or classes, just because you think they don't fit the setting, when there are ways they could go quite wel
_ when you push which details you think suit the characters and totally take over other peoples characters
_ when you are actually taking over the rolling of other peoples characters, though you choose your friendly neighbor to be dm
_ when you don't allow noncore gods, ( i tried mentioning, that Oliddamaara spoke to my original rogue in the guise of an orange tabby cat named morris, and having her call him morris, not knowing the difference, being a god of greed, ambition and desire, she believed it was a celestial tabby who happened to be a god. plus it was easier to write Morris than Oliddamarra, yes i play a lot of strange rogues, usually chaotic neutral or neutral evil, strange mental twists that give more realism, like a female assassin with fast mood swings, the assassin's younger female pick pocket sister with a seemingly lesbian insestuous crush that never went farther than favors and massages, the first rogue i played was orginally going to be a shadowdancer, was also female and had a distrust everyone feel, she came years before the assassin and pickpocket)
_ when you make the players take religions he deemed typical and common ( all clerics being good and worshipping pelor, all rogues worshipping Olidamarra, all paladins worshiping St. Cuthbert, Etc)
_ when you don't accept mid powered homebrew races that are not much more powerful than an elf, most rivalling a warforged if even that.
_ when you don't accept not so overpowered homebrew classes
if you suffer at least 60% of these idiocies for either syndrome, you may have the corresponding match and will pass positive
Call me Jeffery Bloor, because I qualify for 60% of it. Everything I bolded I am guilty of. I will defend these things though, as I don't see them as being the qualities of a bad player or DM.
Other peoples' homebrew stuff in my game just won't fly. Neither will certain classes, core gods (in my case; it'd be the inverse of the non-core gods. My setting has it's own cosmology), or not worshipping one of the many gods/religions/spirits.
A DM's setting is his character in the game. He is making it for you to play in, and while too many restrictions can make your face turn blue, No restrictions at all is chaos. It is also too much to handle (for the DM) if anything and everything is allowed.
For a DM's setting to be thrown out the window just because the players want to play some homebrew races/classes is the sign of bad players. The DM works VERY hard at making a setting; new DM's will use what they view as easy to work with, or that they would love very much to play in themselves; if this doesn't fit the player's standards, then it is the players that had better learn to adapt*. If this seems restrictive, to a new DM, it is all that will keep him from a breakdown (if you have ever created a setting then you will know how hard).
I'm assuming (sorry if I wrong) YamiShinobi that you're the type of player that loves cat-people.
To myself (and many, many others) this is the sign of a "worst player".
*Reason players should be the ones to adapt is because it is hard on a DM to have to work with a bunch of crazy/powerful races and classes. This really only applies to new DM's, because as the DM gains more skill, he can allow the players more options that he is capable of dealing with and handling.
Not allowing other people to include anything they homebrewed isn't a sign of a bad DM. It's common sense.
If the DM doesn't want a race/class/whatever in his campaign, it's well within his right to say no. Especially if it's homebrewed.
When things don't fit the setting, there's really no reason for them to be there.
Forcing players to take religions, however, smacks of overriding and railroading. Which are bad. Especially when coupled with this sort of sterotyping.
Call me Jeffery Bloor, because I qualify for 60% of it. Everything I bolded I am guilty of. I will defend these things though, as I don't see them as being the qualities of a bad player or DM.
Other peoples' homebrew stuff in my game just won't fly. Neither will certain classes, core gods (in my case; it'd be the inverse of the non-core gods. My setting has it's own cosmology), or not worshipping one of the many gods/religions/spirits.
A DM's setting is his character in the game. He is making it for you to play in, and while too many restrictions can make your face turn blue, No restrictions at all is chaos. It is also too much to handle (for the DM) if anything and everything is allowed.
For a DM's setting to be thrown out the window just because the players want to play some homebrew races/classes is the sign of bad players. The DM works VERY hard at making a setting; new DM's will use what they view as easy to work with, or that they would love very much to play in themselves; if this doesn't fit the player's standards, then it is the players that had better learn to adapt*. If this seems restrictive, to a new DM, it is all that will keep him from a breakdown (if you have ever created a setting then you will know how hard).
I'm assuming (sorry if I wrong) YamiShinobi that you're the type of player that loves cat-people.
To myself (and many, many others) this is the sign of a "worst player".
*Reason players should be the ones to adapt is because it is hard on a DM to have to work with a bunch of crazy/powerful races and classes. This really only applies to new DM's, because as the DM gains more skill, he can allow the players more options that he is capable of dealing with and handling.
yeah a D.M. doesn't have to accept homebrew, but they could at least evalute it and grade it. yes i got a thing for cat related noncatfolk lolis.
lolis with feline personality traits but no feline features, i guess i'm a bad player.
Call me Jeffery Bloor, because I qualify for 60% of it. Everything I bolded I am guilty of. I will defend these things though, as I don't see them as being the qualities of a bad player or DM.
Other peoples' homebrew stuff in my game just won't fly. Neither will certain classes, core gods (in my case; it'd be the inverse of the non-core gods. My setting has it's own cosmology), or not worshipping one of the many gods/religions/spirits.
A DM's setting is his character in the game. He is making it for you to play in, and while too many restrictions can make your face turn blue, No restrictions at all is chaos. It is also too much to handle (for the DM) if anything and everything is allowed.
For a DM's setting to be thrown out the window just because the players want to play some homebrew races/classes is the sign of bad players. The DM works VERY hard at making a setting; new DM's will use what they view as easy to work with, or that they would love very much to play in themselves; if this doesn't fit the player's standards, then it is the players that had better learn to adapt*. If this seems restrictive, to a new DM, it is all that will keep him from a breakdown (if you have ever created a setting then you will know how hard).
I'm assuming (sorry if I wrong) YamiShinobi that you're the type of player that loves cat-people.
To myself (and many, many others) this is the sign of a "worst player".
*Reason players should be the ones to adapt is because it is hard on a DM to have to work with a bunch of crazy/powerful races and classes. This really only applies to new DM's, because as the DM gains more skill, he can allow the players more options that he is capable of dealing with and handling.
i wasn't just reffering to homebrew, i was reffering to the guy that strips just about every character option he can, cuase he doesn't like them or thinks thier too powerful!
The Always Tired Player
This player will start to get tired when the game is really getting good and will make mistakes in the game and will want to stop for the night. They can sleep in all day tomorrow but for some reason if they get tired then that is it. The game stops and at the very fun or crucial point. Can't these people drink some coffee or something?!!
Yeah, my old group back in high school had one of these indiviuals. Great guy, but would always fall asleep just when the game was getting good. Creepiest thing about it was that he had this disturbing habit of sleeping with his eyes open, so we never could tell if he was awake or not
. The DM suggested to me at one point that we get some smelling salts, but we never did.It's bizarre, but some players seem to think that the best way to create an interesting character is to be obnoxious, annoying, and fit into the group like a square peg in a round hole. Guess they think obnoxiousness make for good group dynamic. It doesn't.
That is so true, espacially when one of the characters is a paladin who generally acts as the moral compass for the group and the reckless, weird character is CN, borderline CE. Honestly, everyone in the group had raised eyebrows as soon as they found out about this particular race/class combination.
I was playing with a guy and we went into a very small town after sun down. There was a pally in the group, but thats not even the worst part. When we got to the inn there were these men picking on the waitress (who happen to be the inn keeper's daughter) and our pally wouldn't let it go, and basically challenged these guys to a bar fight...well the girl was stabbed and we were all detained by the village militia, but one player refused to be arrested and starting killing villagers that came near him, he claimed its what his character would do even though he was neutral good. The DM ended up creating some crazy story on the spot just so we wouldn't all be killed on the spot
It's truly amazing how some people will either misinterpret the NG designation, or try to get around a "No Evil" rule by labeling a character as a different alignment and then playing it as evil. Sure, NG doesn't like obeying unnecessary laws, but resisting arrest and killing villagers that come near a person (i.e., murder) are NOT hallmarks of being NG, but rather CE. It also sounds like this paladin will eventually fall if he or she doesn't learn to loosen up. Any paladin I played would handled the situation differently.
The Party-cidal PC: He makes characters better than anyone else, he roleplays better than anyone else...And every game he's in, he's forced to kill off at least one other player through no fault of his own. And not only feels no remorse, but belittles his victim, often a new player, often to the point that they quickly tire of D&D. "You just HAD to step on that spider, didn't you? It's not MY fault I'm secretly a Cleric of Lolth masquerading as a petitioner of Eilistraee...Oh, you didn't know? I left plenty of clues. Learn to play."
And after the smoke and ashes of the old session have cleared, the DM invites them back for the newest campaign...
#42 Stupid names player. Need I say more? You get Bob the Barbarian, Conan the Librarian, Jebediah Jeremiah Brown... etc
.
my players sometiems name their guys stuff like Timy Mcjager or Amos Mcoy. i know.
Had a guy in a friends game get me and half the party kill. His reason. "I'm chaotic Neutral." GAH!
:headexploPlayers that jusitfy their charcters actions solely by alignment.
Had a guy in a friends game get me and half the party kill. His reason. "I'm chaotic Neutral." GAH!
That would kill me. I hate the alignment system as it is. I don't use it. It's the only house rule i use and it's totally my discretion. I allow smites on things that i decide are evil enough to be smote. and detect evil is like scrying on somebody's past. I hate alignments that much.
#whatever+1: Last-minute character maker-- if your character concept is being made in front of the DM on the first day of the campaign that was announced weeks ago, you have a problem.
#whatever+2: The Repeater-- you probably have this kind of player with you. He makes the same character with the same personality, just with different appearances and professions, every single game. Eventually, you get sick of him altogether because you can expect his characters to be the same as the last one, and the last one, and the last one...
#whatever+3: The Quick-Thinker-- NOT the kind of guy you want for your scout. This guy make quick, often rash decisions that get the whole party into some kind of jam. No matter what is happening and where you are, somehow this guy will find a way to screw something up.
#I can't keep track: The Dysfunctional pair.
-Actually a group of two players who don't have enough common sense between them to fill a thimble. Usually end up killing each other over, and over, and over, and after the second time for no reason.
Example:
#1 Is the fighter sleeping? Good, I'm gonna go steal his +3 Bastard Sword
GM: But . . . you can't even use it! Plus the King said you would get a beaucoup reward once you finished this quest. . .
#1: I'm gonna pawn it, and have that reward, plus the cost of a +3 bastard sword.
#2: You're stealing my sword? I'm gonna grab it and kill you with it!
#1: You were asleep!
#2 Na-uh! I rolled a 20 on my listen check
(next session)
#1 (who has a new character and is just introduced to the group): I kill the fighter!
GM: What? Why!!!! You just met him
#1: He looks like he'd be a jerk.
(Usually related to the "I'm playing my alignment" people.
#Something something something+4: The Anti-metagaming Iron hand.
We can all agree that metagaming is, as a whole, bad. But there are some cases when a small modicum of metagaming is required (like the PCs working together on their first mission, or knowing that a group of three kobolds don't stand a chance against a party of 4 1st lvl characters) These people insist on role-playing without those bits of metagaming, and insists that everyone else does too.
EXAMPLE:
GM: The Tavern you were drinking in is under attack, there are three others who look like they might be able to hold their own in battle (the other PCs)
Anti-MG: I don't know these people! I can't trust them!
2 other PCs: Let's take them down!
Anti-MG: No! You can't fight Side-by-side! You don't know each other! That's . . . . (horror) METAGAMING!
GM: Listen, it's not a big deal, I'm sorry I didn't come up with a better starting adventure . . .
Anti-MG: NO! NO METAGAMING!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry if these have been posted before, but, understandably, I'm not wading through 44 pages to double check
#I can't keep track: The Dysfunctional pair.
-Actually a group of two players who don't have enough common sense between them to fill a thimble. Usually end up killing each other over, and over, and over, and after the second time for no reason.
Example:
#1 Is the fighter sleeping? Good, I'm gonna go steal his +3 Bastard Sword
GM: But . . . you can't even use it! Plus the King said you would get a beaucoup reward once you finished this quest. . .
#1: I'm gonna pawn it, and have that reward, plus the cost of a +3 bastard sword.
#2: You're stealing my sword? I'm gonna grab it and kill you with it!
#1: You were asleep!
#2 Na-uh! I rolled a 20 on my listen check
(next session)
#1 (who has a new character and is just introduced to the group): I kill the fighter!
GM: What? Why!!!! You just met him
#1: He looks like he'd be a jerk.
(Usually related to the "I'm playing my alignment" people.
#Something something something+4: The Anti-metagaming Iron hand.
We can all agree that metagaming is, as a whole, bad. But there are some cases when a small modicum of metagaming is required (like the PCs working together on their first mission, or knowing that a group of three kobolds don't stand a chance against a party of 4 1st lvl characters) These people insist on role-playing without those bits of metagaming, and insists that everyone else does too.
EXAMPLE:
GM: The Tavern you were drinking in is under attack, there are three others who look like they might be able to hold their own in battle (the other PCs)
Anti-MG: I don't know these people! I can't trust them!
2 other PCs: Let's take them down!
Anti-MG: No! You can't fight Side-by-side! You don't know each other! That's . . . . (horror) METAGAMING!
GM: Listen, it's not a big deal, I'm sorry I didn't come up with a better starting adventure . . .
Anti-MG: NO! NO METAGAMING!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Wow, I've never heard it from this side before... Usually I'm pro-anti-Mg.
# Are we still counting?:TADD
TADD stands for Tactical Attention deficit disorder. Usually coinciding with "don't know the rules guy," TADD will find one tactic (say, Aid another) and use it ALL THE TIME, even when it is clearly not needed or not productive. And, as soon as they discover they can't do it in some situations (What do you mean I can't aid another hide?) then they drop the tactic all together, and pick up a new one (say, trip).
# seriously, who reads the numbers?: The "actions don't have consequences guy"
Usually not a problem (and can even be a great roll-player) but doesn't realize that some illegal actions will produce legal consequences, and is upset when you bring them up.
The following happened in my d20 Modern Campaign:
(PC runs down main street firing his machine pistol full-auto)
GM: You hear police sirens
PC:Huh, wonder what they want.
GM: Uh, probably to stop the maniac who's firing his gun full-auto in a public place
PC: Who's doing that?!
The Ginger
Red curly haired guy who joins your group to check out DnD for the first time and shows up late, has no concentration and acts like a 5 month old retarded foetus. Distracts your DM and other players by making noises kindergartners wouldn't be caught dead making. No one wants him for a second session so he stirs up a fight, because he's a friend of one of the regulars of the group.
No offence meant for other red curly haired male forumlurkers.
...So that's 12...64...74...23...15...93 damage! Oh wait, that was an empowered fireball...One second, guys. Oh, he made his save? What's half of...I can't remember, let me count again...
Some Number above 101
The Ginger
Red curly haired guy who joins your group to check out DnD for the first time and shows up late, has no concentration and acts like a 5 month old retarded foetus. Distracts your DM and other players by making noises kindergartners wouldn't be caught dead making. No one wants him for a second session so he stirs up a fight, because he's a friend of one of the regulars of the group.
No offence meant for other red curly haired male forumlurkers.
Most of my red hairs have turned gray so count yourself lucky!
The new guy who's a friend of the DM and insists on playing a neutral alignment sucks ect.. but the group Has made a rule "Good guys" only. Resulting the group braking apart.
I hate this guy. I hate how the dm allows him/her/them to bring in charcaters from "their old campaign", alternate game character (i.e everquest enchanter into a Scarred Lands setting), homebrew class or the dreaded uber prestige class of doom that he created which allows him to have abilities that epic level characters envy. I hate how the dm grumbles when these idiots don't mesh well with the rest of the group even though they wreck the campaign.
Your regular DM plays in a one-shot game somewhere - a convention, old friends he is visiting, etc. That game has a house rule. The DM then implements that house rule into the game you've been playing without it just fine for months/years, disrupting how everything works.
My DM - guilty. (In this case, spellcasting)
grr
The "What's a DC" GM
-Can be a great GM, tell a great, involving story, but when it comes to assigning DCs this guy can't get it right, usually grosely overestimates the DC of something.
Example 1:
GM:Your buddy is stuck underneath a support beam.
Me: How hevy does it look
GM: A decently buff guy like youself should be able to lift it.
Me: Okay, I try, what's the DC?
GM: 25
Me
Aghast) . . . you realise I would have to have 20 strength and roll a natural 20 to get that, right?GM: Oh, really?
Example 2:
GM: you found a Spaceship, the hyperdrive looks a little out of whack, but if you fix it up, it should be fine.
Me: I bust out my mechanical and electrical toolkits, what's the DC?
GM: 50
Me: That is not "OUT OF WHAK!" That is a DC to build a hyperdrive from scratch, with Rocks! A level twenty Hyperdrive specialist couldn't make that roll!
GM: hmmmm, okay, let's go with DC 10
Me: *slaps forehead* Why don't you just look it up in the book?!?!?!?
The DM Who Played A Game
Your regular DM plays in a one-shot game somewhere - a convention, old friends he is visiting, etc. That game has a house rule. The DM then implements that house rule into the game you've been playing without it just fine for months/years, disrupting how everything works.
My DM - guilty. (In this case, spellcasting)
grr
OK. I'll bite. What is the new house rule?
OK. I'll bite. What is the new house rule?
To set the DC you roll d20+spell level+ability modifier
If you roll a 1, spell fizzles
If you roll a 20, double damage if it's a damage spell, maybe an added benefit if it's a nondamaging spell, depending upon spell and DM mood.
The DC also sets your caster level check to overcome spell resistance and resist dispelling. When you cast Dispel Magic, you roll as if setting a DC and use that value to dispel. If it equals or beats the spell's DC, it is dispelled.
Feats and class abilities that increase DC values, dispel checks, and overcome spell resistance do apply in their normal method.
To set the DC you roll d20+spell level+ability modifier
If you roll a 1, spell fizzles
If you roll a 20, double damage if it's a damage spell, maybe an added benefit if it's a nondamaging spell, depending upon spell and DM mood.
The DC also sets your caster level check to overcome spell resistance and resist dispelling. When you cast Dispel Magic, you roll as if setting a DC and use that value to dispel. If it equals or beats the spell's DC, it is dispelled.
Feats and class abilities that increase DC values, dispel checks, and overcome spell resistance do apply in their normal method.
I hate that everquest import. Fizzle. Stupidest rule ever. Psionics fizzle? no. clerical/druidical magic fizzles? no. Moron who slavishly plays everquest's brain fizzles? Yes.
#148--- The Stand-up Guy.
This player will commit to whatever time the rest of the group has decided on to play. However, when the time for the game rolls around, he is frequently nowhere to be found. No e-mail, no phone call, no message through another member. Don't get me wrong, gaming is not the center of the universe and conflicts will often occur, but you owe it to the other people who have adjusted their plans to either show up or say you won't.
I had this guy in my first gaming group. He was a roommate of one of my players, so there was no reason why he couldn't just tell his roommate so he could send me a message. Hell he had my number, he could have done it himself.
It was really weird. He would get all psyched up, we'd do the character creation, and then never show up and then not even explain why. After the second time, I decided that his character got syphilis and died. Solved the problem nicely. :D
The guy that brings the girlfriend to "just hang out"
She has no interest in playing at all. She usually winds up being a "geek-hag" of some sort and does nothing but yak, flirt, giggle, and discuss Hentai/anime the whole time.
I can understand bringing someone that is actually interested in the game, but she serves NO purpose.
I will usually call those nights short.
I got about half way through and my eyes started to burn. So, if this has been mentioned I apologize.
The guy that brings the girlfriend to "just hang out"
She has no interest in playing at all. She usually winds up being a "geek-hag" of some sort and does nothing but yak, flirt, giggle, and discuss Hentai/anime the whole time.
I can understand bringing someone that is actually interested in the game, but she serves NO purpose.
I will usually call those nights short.
Our group does that sometimes, but I'm guilty as a GM too. It's not annoying however. They're not disrupting play and find it amusing to watch us play. (We're an all-guys group btw).
Then the offshoot of the Benefactor...The NOT FAIR!!! guy: screamed and threw a fit when the extradimensional space he was keeping his +20 sword was *randomly* destroyed during combat.
did I mention our party was only level 13 at the time of all this?
The Bad Tempered Role-Player The character will usually be a Dwarf Fighter or Half-Orc Barb and The Bad Tempered Role-Player will make this character the most rude, arrogant, loose cannon player around. "So what will it be for you hardy men, says the Barkeep?" "I don't want to see the bottom of my glass you tub of lard mindflayer faced idot. If I do, I am going to put your head on a pike and burn your house down, says The Bad Tempered Role-Player." I mean is this really necessary after just walking up to bar in a Inn? This player roleplays that his character hates everyone and he either tries or says he is going to kill everyone. "Welcome back, you have saved my Kingdom, says the King welcoming the party back." "Listen here Sunshine. You are lucky I don't take your throne and wife and make you my court jester you little slime ball, says The Bad Tempered Role-Player."
It's funny because when you call this guys' bluff, he turns into the "just jokes" or "I didn't really say that" guy.
~Bowen
Prefers to play monsters from the monster manual to adventurers, sometimes is completely inexperienced and wouldn't know the difference between wild shape and turn undead.
Always wants to play a monster and whines that the starting level is not enough.
"But I wanna play an ogre mage!"
"Sorry, we're making the characters at level 7, besides, how do you expect to conduct your affairs with the king? You'll be an evil, freaking ogre!"
"I could be a good ogre"
"No"
"How about a Raksasha?"
"..."
Ogre mage and raksasha are interchangable with Solar, dragon, troll, mindflayer and leonal.
Note that this is also the same player who has played about 2 campaigns, is too lazy to come up with a class build and doesn't know how to even create a character.
The biggest flaw of Mr Tactics is that they leave themselves very vulnerable. They cheerfully place themselves right where the enemy can unleash full attacks, and often rage and/or charge, thus lowering their AC even more. Often simple builds with feats chosen for what feels good rather than what is effective. May also favor charisma over constitution (because they want to look good) or other non-tank choices.
And the best part? They all to often adhere to the 'can kill everything' mindset, i.e. believe that they should be able to easily kill everything they see, regardless of how tough it appears. This means that once they've recklessly charged the red dragon and gotten turned into stir-fry as a result, they whine and complain and protest that you cheated and used unstoppable monsters and that they shouldn't have gotten killed and generally ruin the rest of the session for everyone else.
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
Wow man, that must make me #666 Dice Satan. I can't throw a double digit on a d20 to save my life (literally), nor to shoot an orc. I daydream of the Better Lucky Than Good Feat. (Natural 1s become Natural 20s)
#69: Mr. Trick-My-Character: The player who somehow squeezes skill points out of nowhere so you can never Bluff him because he has a 70 ranks in Sense Motive.
#70: The Save Throw Jinx:
I don't know why, but whenever I tried to do a saving throw against this guy, I ended up rolling a fail of epic proportions, and apparently his character could get mine to do anything!
oh, btw...
sry, couldn't resist. :evillaugh
Either way though...
#??? The idiot powergamer/ munchkin
This is the person who comes into the game and tries to powergame... but has no idea how to. They are often caught trying to make a generalist character, which, as we all know, is weak in real play. You can find them taking feats they can't use, like a fighter taking empower spell... the idiot powergamer actually thought it might allow him to spellcast. Or perhaps you will even see them multiclassing in ways that mess them up, such as a knight/monk/ranger.
Dispite their complete lack of knowledge relating to any degree of optimization, they honestly think that they know the most about creating powerful characters. And the worst part is that they may end up with the most powerful characters simply through mysterious bonuses that they don't have! Perhaps they are just ignorant, or perhaps they are cheating. Regardless, you may find a dwarf with a cha of 20 at level one, a ranger who claims he can wear full plate armour, or a medium fighter who can swing a greatsword in a 50ft radius.
Worst of all is the fact that they think that they should get artifacts as equipment by level 5 ( or some other such nonsence). The idiot powergamer/ munchkin in my party honestly believes he is entitled to a sword that manipulates time, which along with time stop and haste, allows him to remove anybody from time. (no save, no possible reserection). This sword is also indistructible... and then they complain about our +3 weapons that the dm shelled out to us (the game was item scarce), claiming that he liked us better and that our items were broken. Then he said he needed a set of clothes that didn't take up an item slot and made him immune to all elemental damage.
They end up with a better character by rule breaking and acting like a twit... lets not forget all the extra levels that they claim they are entitled to! They say that their character is better than yours... but forget that they aren't level 50 and that you arent level 1. Wouldn't you LOVE to have one in your group??
The DM says "there is a rickity old bridge"
So my friend exclaims!; "I'm gonna run across!"
and the DM say (He's a newbie at it) "Well umm you have to take a balance test and...Wait! No it collapses!"
Lol man my friend's a dumb ass
1004 plays fine and gets along with all the other players until something ticks him off. He will react fine to major things( like edition switches) but instead over reacts when something minor comes up, usually regarding two equal choices. He then proceeds to do extremely odd things, such as giving tied up enemies cake when the pc's are questoning them. When confronted with this, he refuses to communicate with anyone, even in real life for months at a time.
A subspecies of 1004 is the players that refuses to buy or read or even try to pay attention to any rule books or rules. If asked to but a rule book, switches to odd behavior then proceeds to shun people for large amounts of time.
(and sorry if this has already been posted)
The typical woman you don't want to see in your game but you don't have choice because your brother is playing...
-She don't want to create her character: its too long and she dosent understand all the rules, while making her character, she said:it's too long, when do we start?".
-Once her character finished, she dosen't understand more, you need to explain what is a wizard and what a spell of fireball do.
-When she cast a fireball for the first time, the DM said "you can't...exept if you want to kill all your allies in this small room of 3 square x 3.
-She takes 5 minutes to find what else she can do instead of the fireball and said: "why you didn't told me about the radius?"
-In role-playing time, she ask our name afther 20 minutes(everyone still noted the names of their allies)
-In role-playing, she act selfish and always play as a teen "against the law, rules, authorities" years.
-she roll 3 false dices before rolling a d20(d 12, d 10 and d12 again).
-she took 5 minutes to make a move action, a standard attack and a quick action....the same time for the 4 other PC at all.
-when we are looking for a rule in the book, after 1 minute, she said: "its boring...too long!"
-in the middle of a roleplay or a combat, the phone rings: her mother...worse than her...
-after 15 games, she still dosen't know where to find the skills on her sheet.
-she 's mad about me 2 month long when we didn't invite her at last game.
-Oh! and she don't want to play at my house, only at her house....20 min ride.
Ah! what we can do for the love of a role-playing game...
This guy reads lots of fantasy books, but doesn't have much experience playing the game. Any character they play, they try to model after some book character. They play a mage, they want to Raistlin. Or they read a lot of mythology, and don't understand why you have to roll dice, it should just work like in the books.
They often say, Gandalf didn't have to roll dice to see how much damage they did. Merlin's spells never got a save against.
The last campaign I was in, I had the following:
Angry Player. Everything sucks. Roll bad, these dice suck. This was of course after spending 20 minutes rolling all the dice in her 5 pound bag to find the good ones. She was also the Concept Character Builder. I want to be a gnome that is Touched In The Head, and he carries a 5 foot sword on his back that never uses and he runs up to the guards and says odd threats to them, and then runs away. She was also the I Don't Need Your Help, or Suggestions. Any time you suggested something, her reply was "I'll play my character my way". And then she would drag it out. Every fight that happened, she was part of.
The Fact Master and Rules Lawyer. New every monster by heart, and thought he knew every rule, but didn't. And would get cold when shown he was wrong. Often would start out with: Trust me, I know how ________ works!
The Stoner. Only played because his roommate played. Perfered WoW, and smoking pot the whole time. Had to be called back to the table every time it was his turn. Stoner was also a Rule Bender.
The Ability Freak. Liked to play classes with lots of powers and abilities, never learned how they worked. Spent whole sessions reading and reading his abilities to see what he could use. Didn't know the basic rules, so often would make assumtions about how things worked, and turn out to be wrong. Often we would have him read out the abilities, only for him to get to the end and say...Oh, I guess it doesn't work how I thought it did. Fine, I'll do something else. His turn always took, 10 minutes.
Needless to say, I quit the campaign.
This type is especially annoying if they have played multiple parties under one DM, that keeps all his campaigns in the same, consistent world and keeps old characters around as NPC's. When making a new character, this type of player will never make a normal, "fresh" character: his PC has been everywhere, has seen almost everything and is friends with, has spoken to or met every old PC and important figure there is in the world.
Even if he's only a 25 year old human.
PC1: "I've never heard of Abarkus (plaintraveling high level wizard) before."
PC2: "I have. I traveled together with him for some time and we spoke a lot, he's a funny guy."
DM: "What? No way!"
PC 2: "Why not? It's my backstory!"
DM: "But you've already met Damien and Palleus too. You're only 30 years old, just a simple farmer, and you're telling me that you have already met almost every living epic character?"
PC2: "Well I don't see why not."
Plot ruiner
Usually in combination with the I know everything and everyone. This person is usually unable to seperate ingame from outgame experiences and knowledge, thus it is very dangerous to tell them about ideas or ongoing plots. They will act against all logical rules in the world, and their own character, to act out the out-game thought.
Example:
You're a DM, and you planned it all so perfectly. Carefully waiting session after session, planting little seeds and hints in the party to make them ready for the moment you give them the big item. Weeks, if not months, of preperations and now the time is finally right. Casually, you let them find the item. The item is special, sought after by every epic wizard and there are only a few in the world. The direct description however is not so epic, and they think it's just a mundane object.
One of the characters, however, remembers the item from another campaign. At night, he searches through the bags to get it for himself, and when the other PC's awake, he runs away with the item! Running faster than the rest and knowing his way around the place, they will never be able to catch him.
No ???The Sister-in-Law
The typical woman you don't want to see in your game but you don't have choice because your brother is playing...
-She don't want to create her character: its too long and she dosent understand all the rules, while making her character, she said:it's too long, when do we start?".
-Once her character finished, she dosen't understand more, you need to explain what is a wizard and what a spell of fireball do.
-When she cast a fireball for the first time, the DM said "you can't...exept if you want to kill all your allies in this small room of 3 square x 3.
-She takes 5 minutes to find what else she can do instead of the fireball and said: "why you didn't told me about the radius?"
-In role-playing time, she ask our name afther 20 minutes(everyone still noted the names of their allies)
-In role-playing, she act selfish and always play as a teen "against the law, rules, authorities" years.
-she roll 3 false dices before rolling a d20(d 12, d 10 and d12 again).
-she took 5 minutes to make a move action, a standard attack and a quick action....the same time for the 4 other PC at all.
-when we are looking for a rule in the book, after 1 minute, she said: "its boring...too long!"
-in the middle of a roleplay or a combat, the phone rings: her mother...worse than her...
-after 15 games, she still dosen't know where to find the skills on her sheet.
-she 's mad about me 2 month long when we didn't invite her at last game.
-Oh! and she don't want to play at my house, only at her house....20 min ride.
Ah! what we can do for the love of a role-playing game...
This is largely a DM failure. Her character should have been modeled after a readily understandable archetype and should have been a fighter. Why in the world would you allow a new player, especially someone in on a favor not interested in the rules, to be a wizard? Especially when she wasn't interested in the creation process. Just make her an elf warrior or Red Sonja and drive on.
When she role plays as a difficult teen, why not encourage it since she is obviously interacting with the game.
When her mother calls she delays.
Since you can't kick her out of the game, why don't you keep a copy of her character handy and tell her her skill bonuses? Why haven't the other players in your game taken it upon themselves to learn a bit about her character so they can say "roll you 20 and add 7?"
Why not make her stick to her original roll of the dice? Just be gentle until she understands the flow, but keep her honest. Dice integrity is essential to the game.
Sorry to say, but I think this is a DM problem. New players are self conscious and the rules are overwhelming. It is up to the group and especially the DM to make the details easy.
As a DM, this is the type of DM who would not read the errata for a book, and would thusly end up causing TPKs with the monsters in their super=powered, unerrated state.
This is largely a DM failure. Her character should have been modeled after a readily understandable archetype and should have been a fighter. Why in the world would you allow a new player, especially someone in on a favor not interested in the rules, to be a wizard? Especially when she wasn't interested in the creation process. Just make her an elf warrior or Red Sonja and drive on.
When she role plays as a difficult teen, why not encourage it since she is obviously interacting with the game.
When her mother calls she delays.
Since you can't kick her out of the game, why don't you keep a copy of her character handy and tell her her skill bonuses? Why haven't the other players in your game taken it upon themselves to learn a bit about her character so they can say "roll you 20 and add 7?"
Why not make her stick to her original roll of the dice? Just be gentle until she understands the flow, but keep her honest. Dice integrity is essential to the game.
Sorry to say, but I think this is a DM problem. New players are self conscious and the rules are overwhelming. It is up to the group and especially the DM to make the details easy.
Awnser to Grabuto: Tnx to the reply. I don't take it personnaly for the reply you wrote. As a DM, a let play a lot of new players in my game. Maybe i'm getting too old and don't have enough patience...lol. But she is very special and when i wrote the Sister-in-Law topic, i took all the baddest things she did. In many games she played with us(Star Wars Saga Ed., WOW online, Board games etc...) she did the same thing, so it begin to be more ennoying to other players than fun...Anyway, thx to the advice, maybe i can try something different with her next game...
The I Don't think of a storyline for my character player This is the player that will not think of any solid background to their character and does not realize that this adds depth and fun to the character/game. "So, Mallock, tell me something about your self." "Where are you from?" The Player who is playing Mallock says, "Ah well." This is followed by silence.
I admit I can be too lazy to think up backstories...to date i've only really thought up one backstory, adn it did make roleplaying a whole lot easier... I gotta start doing this more, but I need to find a way to convince my friends to do this too
121: The Quotation Fanatic. He will quote movies, especially Monty Python, ad nauseum. As soon as the party encounters a peasant he'll go off on the whole King Arthur meeting Dennis bit. And the witch thing. Sheesh, it's not like we haven't ALL heard it a MILLION times before.
This was seriously every group I've ever been in. There was ALWAYS the one guy who would do the French taunter, or make the damned coconuts-as-horsetrot sound whenever we were traveling. And let's not forget the guy who, after taking a hit, says "It's just a flesh wound".
KILL KILL KILL KILL!!
This is the player who can never seem, to grasp the situation the DM is describing. S/he runs up to the angelic statue, rolling Diplomacy and speaking in Celestial, even after you said that the mysterious angelic statue is a STATUE. Or, s/he attempts to pick up the gem in the fireplace, and acts indignant when s/he takes fire damage ("Wait the gem is INSIDE the fireplace??") OR, s'he cannot seem to grasp the most basic description of a simple room until the DM finally takes the time to map the place out with the dungeon tiles (at which point they slam their mini on the grid and roll for initiative... "Can I fit all the taverngoers in my Fireball's AoE?")
I can attest to the female dice ninja. She is the same person as my #8, the One with Questionable Sanity. She manages to throw the dice in the strangest of place....like the jug of soda, or into the fireplace. Although, to be fair, I myself has become famous for throwing pencils at the oddest times....totally without intention of doing so....
I can second this.
I have found more than one that applies to each of the people I game with... including myself...... except.... One player.
Adam apparently has no flaws as a gamer.
This must be noted.
I have a perfect gamer in my group.
Always on time... always prepared, knows his character... helps others with theirs... doesn't go against the DM.... brings drinks and food.... crap.
So # (whatever god awful sum we are up to)
The perfect gamer
You want to hate him because everyone thinks he's great... but he's such a nice guy that you can't bring yourself to do it.
I had this one yesterday. It was very irritating.
Basically, we were going through Kobold Hall
*SPOILERS* I guess
and we got to the bag of coins at Tiamat's altar. He (Paladin of the Raven Queen) picked up the coins, put them in his bag, and openly said that he refused to share anything he picked up. We asked "What about the group?" both in character and out of character, because, you know, it's always just simpler and more fun to have a good group feeling. No, he wasn't here as part of the group, he just picked up the bounty at the same time.
(What?)
So we stayed back and let him carry on. Cue the DM having to DM him going into the next room and getting killed horrible while near enough everyone went outside for a break and to talk about him and how annoying it was. This was after TWO encounters. He basically stopped the game and everything focused on him by being an ass.
Then he made a fighter when he came back, but said that he's going to be friendly and nice this time. "Good", we said, "No you don't understand" he said, "Very VERY nice.", before we stopped for the day.
I have a very bad feeling about this character, and the player in general, and this was after just one session...
no walkie, all pointless talkie
not a bad player per say: he's sometimes good at both RP and combat, while both solving puzzles and is able of strategic thinking... but unfortunately he tends to focus too much on the small, minor details. if left to his own devices, he would probly spend most of the session doing relatively pointless and unexciting stuff (albeit very much in character) like shining his armor/weapon/sheild, examining the carpet in the tavern for 20 minutes IRL, and generally wastes party time with things that have no relevance to the plot and does not advance anyone's (even his own) goals.
I would name that the writer. And I'm quite guilty of it. As well as being a Dice Anti-Christ. I can't roll above a 10 in combat unless I'm a DM. This applies to all random dice generators, online, RL, or anything. In Wow in an open roll, I never get above a 25, I never won a game of monopoly, and any board game with an element of luck involved I inevitably end up getting screwed. It's really bad because I always end up playing with a Dice Jesus. This guy is insane with his luck. Play a CCG, he always gets the cards he needs at the last minute. When you put the two of us together it results in very strangely one sided gaming events. DnD he always makes the saves, gets the crit, or rolls max damage/healing. Frustrating as hell. And he wonders why I take pleasure in being the writer character. I'd much rather develop my character's personality then constantly miss the monster with my spectacular rolls of 4's.
The Ryan Zurita
this player is a series of archtypes of bad playing mended together, tries to use powers he doesn't have because of something he watched (claiming to have a sharingan eye for example and trying to metagame the spell. or running up a wall without spiderclimb) maybe he tries to get fancy sci-fi weapons like a repeating railgun, or tries to cast time stop even though he is a 1st level rogue and cannot use cantrips.
he has to have a special class created for his character that is esentially tri-stalt in a non gestalt campaign, he tries to take his turn during other peoples actions, before and after his intiative, tries to hide in the shadows and stab from behind to get sneak attack which never works for him.
he has to have the uber artifact weapon at an early level, (he thinks he should start with it) picks alignments that he does not stick to such as lawful good, though he writes lawful good on his sheet, he really plays chaotic stupid, he has to be the party leader though he has no charisma, he plays an 18+ int and wis character like a 3 int and wis barbarian. he always asks for the dc before he rolls and ends up succeeding. he has to have the highest hp, damage, attack bonus, armor class and so on.
he doesn't understand character creation. he cheats his hit points. he has to model after his favorite anime character, which is usually an epic shonen entity. he picks feats he cannot have, he misinterprets abilities, when he has an 18 intellegence with a +4 modifer, he keeps saying 22 or 18+4. the rules have to be special for him, he cannot survive RPGA without a minimum of 5 18's and a 16. for some reason, he picks human or some monster race from some 3rd person hack and slash game such as assassins creed or prince of persia, or some fighting game. he has no concept of physics. he picks and adjective and a noun for a name rather than a real name, (examples he used, Green Robin, Black robin, White Jaden, Yellow fox) or cliches such as, cloud, bit, ren, and other names no one would dare to give thier child. his favorite show is naruto or some other crap that retards ruin, his favorite game is most likely either ninja gaiden (newest one) prince of persia (newest) onimusha (newest) or some other new solo hack and slash game or 3d fighting game, such as tekken, soul calibur and the like.
the jeff bloor
this is a horrible dm archtype, he nows nothing about powergaming and thinks he does, he thinks xp penalties for multiclassing is a good thing, his worst fear is orc barbarian rogues with use magic device using wands of fireball. he doesn't like variant features, he calls any tradeoff he doesn't like gestalting, but allows the real gestalt in a normal campaign calling it crossclassing. believes the complete warrior samurai is game breaking just because it doesn't have to pay for it's masterwork 1st level weapons, believes he doesn't need books cuz he has etools, he doesn't design his own adventures, he would rather have another person make them. believes half elves are better than any other 0 la race. he thinks level adjustment is a good thing, (and wants high l.a. psionic races) he thinks sorcerers are better than wizards. his favorite book is the 3.0 psionics handbook and must play psionics in anything. he is the complete opposite of character balance, he beefs up druids, swings the nerf bat at fighters, makes broken subraces. and cannot recognize a munchkin, (i snuck a VOP druid in his group made using his his etools, tested of one of his own broken homebrew races (l.a.+0 with +6 wisdom, Charisma, and intellegence, of venerable age (+9) strength dex and con were nonabilites after one of his templates was applied.), and he instead banned duskblades, even though the druid was killing everything. he then gave everyone else uber artifacts 15 levels early and his campaign is in a current close.) the jeff bloor gives stuff that breaks his own campaigns.
the tony bonnafon,
the yes man for the jeff bloor, he took over when jeff failed, the same problem occured. his worst fear is half Celestial Half fiend Vampire Duergar sorcerer dragon disciples with constant tougness feats. he thinks fireball is the best spell ever. his campaigns collapse too.
these 3 have a few things in common, no sense in character balance, they never use rpga standards, and they all make generalist characters
The player who will try and kill important npcs, especially the titular king who gives quests to the party. By itself this is not necessarily bad depending on what campaign type you are playing, but this is not all he does. Even if you make it abundantly clear how impossible/game-breaking attempting to kill a certain npc is, he will insist that he is able to kill said npc because:
1) his pc is evil
2) he wants to be able to choose his decisions without being 'rail-roaded'.
This may happen when your mid-level players see the King for a role-playing, quest-giving encounter. The king is naturally surrounded by hundreds of elite guards. If, while you are narrating the encounter, one of the players states that he wants to try killing the king, you have a Kingkiller.
This player believes that all the npcs that he is helping should pay for all his expenses he needs during the adventure, including buying items. He is either unaware/doesn't care about how game-breaking this can be, as it can remove the thrill of finding treasure. Even after explaining that the Duke/Mayor/Caravan Leader cannot pay for his longsword +3 and shield of fire, and giving ingame and game-balance reasons why, he will insist that realistically these npcs would pay him whatever he asks since they need his help. This is the worst enemy of dms who use a lot of powerful npcs as quest-givers, after The Kingkiller.
This party does not take any active part in the role-playing process. The members frequently, if not all the time act like themselves, never going into character while claiming to be. When asked about their character concept or backstory, the response is 99% silence and 1% improv. Players also tend to kill things indiscriminately, and when asked for a motive, the usual answers are; "Because I'm evil/I'm chaotic evil", "He ****** me off!", "Because it's cool". Role-playing atmosphere is mostly dead, when attempts at role-play are made, odd stares ensue. Sadly, it is unfortunate when you are also a member of the role-play dead party, with no solution in sight.
Members of the Role-play Dead Party also tend to be;
Kingkillers
More to come possibly.
:raincloud
Huh...what?
This is the DM who likes doing campaigns where one of the following occurs (bear in mind these are all games he ran):
-the characters end up in Sigil, and of course no one wishes to help them get around in such an area.
-the character are turned into vampires, but the one who turned them deides to vanish
-the characters end up with...am-f******-nesia; characters are nothing more than blank sheets
On top of those plot lines, any attempt to figure out which way is up causes road block after road block to get put up.
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
That's my wife. She played an arcane archer we called "Rain of Death". One evening she rolled 6 crits in one single round...
The top is what I call the Kevin
This is by far the worst player, He /she easily meets the requirements for over half of the other bad player listings. When the adventure starts it takes over 4 hours just to get him to join the group, I wont go into details on how much of a pain in a$$ it is but I’m sure you can think of the details. His characters are basically the stereotypical of their race and class and takes the most powerful of weapons and armors just because of the power rather then the RP value. He then proceeds to try to hog the whole spot light, trying to make himself the most important by talking the loudest and always out of turn. He cheats the whole game and when you catch him cheating he claims till he’s blue in the face that he aint. And when something doesn’t go his way he tries killing them either directly or indirectly. Mostly by not telling them where traps are and walking away from important battles. He takes items that are important to other players in the group and sells them rather then give them to the players that need them. And once the party finally decides to rid of him he trys to get the dm (mostly me) to solo quest just him while the rest of the group sits there and does nothing. Which of course never works and the party doesn’t want him back and hes forced to make a new character which has the same weapons and armor, Hps over the max, outrageous status, and so on. Hence the cycle repeats.
The first campaign I ever DM'ed had one of these. It was horrible.
The Stoner:
This one always come to a gaming session stoned or in the process of being stoned. If she or he isn't stoned upon arrival, he or she will be stoned shortly after arrival. This player always has some sort of mind-altering, illicit drug on their personage and generally interrupts the gaming session at the most inopportune moment to roll a fatty and light it up. This person always reeks of marijuana and upon stepping our of the vehicle they transported themselves in, and is followed by a large billowing cloud of smoke.
The Drunk:
Similiar to The Stoner, only drunk or in the process of getting drunk. This players always brings copious amounts of alcohol to the gaming session and never leaves with anything he or she brought with them as they drank it all or shared it with everyone else while drinking it all. This player always has to interrupt the gaming session to run out to the store when he or she runs out of said alcohol.
The Moocher:
This player never brings any food or drink or sustenance of any kind to the game. When the group orders out he or she will decline to pitch in and then when the food arrives tries to look as pitiful as possible to get handouts so they don't starve. This person will always be hunting and searching for anything in your house to eat or drink and never has any money to pay for anything and never offers anything in return for compensation.
The Disbeliever:
This person doesn't take anything at face value and they always think the GM is trying to pull a fast one. Upon entering any scene or encounter they try and 'disbelieve' in the hopes of getting any kind of saving throw because they believe something is amiss or something is an illusion. Any situation presented to them is just another chance for them to test the bounds of reality and nothing is ever as it seems to them.
The Daydreamer:
This person never pays attention. Ever. At any point in the game anything directed to them will illicit the response "huh?" or "Oh, it's my turn?" or "What did you say was going on?". They never know whats going on, where they are, when combat started or ended, and are generally in some sort of daze throughout the entire game. One could easily assume this type of player is The Stoner, except for the fact that they have never taken any mind altering drugs of any sort in their entire lives. No matter what happens throughout the game, the DM or the players or both have to constantly repeat or go over whats been happening to help this player catch up to function as a party member.
The Past Life Chatterer:
This person cannot stop talking about other characters he or she has played in other RPG's in the past, no matter the game or its relevance to the current gaming session. Every break in combat and in between every encounter this person rattles on about how he or she had a character that went through the same experience long ago, or that this or that character would have done this action instead of that action. A constant stream of stories is always close at hand with this player, almost as if the player was a Bard in real life.
The Lore/Storyline/History Fanatic:
This person is an expert on everything thats ever happened in the game realm your are playing in. He or she has read every single Dragonlance/Forgotten Realms/Dark Sun/etc etc book and knows the background and history of every single character every created and what they did at any point in their career. They constantly extol to the group every single possible detail about the world they are playing in despite not needing any of the information. Any details brought up in the game through the DM or players that is incorrect, flawed, changed, or different from what they know is immediately pointed out with conversation ensuing immediately after correcting any of that erroneous information.
Cannot Seperate Fantasy From Reality:
This person becomes so involved in the game that they cannot seperate the game from their own real life. They adopt aspects of their character to their own real life and vice/versa. They constantly talk out-of-game, in character. In-game encounters and experiences are translated into real life to the point of thinking that anything good that happens in the game must mean that the DM and/or players or both are happy with them or like them or love them. Anything bad that happens in the game must mean that the DM and/or the players must dislike or hate them. Actions by opposite sex players AND/OR NPCs in game are seen as an attraction to this person out of game. This character typically comes to a gaming session with a mood that was dependant upon the last gaming session and the subsequent time in-between and what happened during that time.
The Unknown Psychotic:
This player has always been a good player up until that one single point during the game when they pulled out a large nasty looking knife and brandished it towards the players and the DM spouting off something like "This is how my character stabs at the goblins!" Then he or she makes sudden stabbing moves with the knife at everyone, a wild look in his or her eye never seen before, in all seriousness, forcing everyone else to move quickly away from the table and the player rather rapidly. You didn't know they had this knife with them, they have never brought it to the game table before, and you do not really know how they got it out of their backpack so fast. Needless to say, this person is never invited back to one of your games simply because you all fear for your life...
Ryan
Betty Crocker
Chris Crocker
Sunny's mom's wiener boob
Brad English
Hell Boy
Spiderman
Billabong
and Cool_dude1010
and Cool_dude1010
lol!
Low magic DM This is a DM who thinks giving you a +2 weapon at 5th will cause society to crumble. Often throws high CR enemies that murder PCs every encounter then calls it player stupidity.
Gnome lover for some strange reason, this guy loves gnomes....maybe a little to much
Escape artist DM This DM always makes his creatures bolt for the nearest door at 4x speed when it remotely comes within 30% remaining life.
Literal player Takes everything literal! All lawful good players must kill everything evil and leap to their deaths. All rogues must steal, all drow are evil, all ogres are evil. Takes everything to the extreme and complains when you actually roleplay.
(ugh hated this one...had a 13rd paladin/5th grayguard who was trying to save his love and fight the prince of demons. This player kept dogging me for allowing evil creatures to live that were just around not attacking just observing, even talking to us.)
#[Dont Know]: The Walking Dead
I speek from experience here. Hvaing to remake a character almost every other week, even if he has an Opptimized character.
#[Dont Know]: The Unlucky
Again, I speek from experence. More likly to roll a 1 on any checks then anything else really. Causes the whole party to be in trouble because of the one 1.
When it comes to Init he can roll straight 18-20's in full view of everyone. When it comes to actually making attacks, he would be lucky to break a roll of 5.
Here's one...
The Overly Devout Christian Gamer - Everyone knows one...that one Christian guy or girl who can't say a paragraph's worth of words without quoting scripture. But what happens when that person decides to play D&D? Say hello to a session of proselytizing, trying to play a christian in Faerun, and sermons about what's wrong with "Faiths and Pantheons", and why there should just be one god in the game.
Note: I have nothing against Christians, but everything against anyone who thinks they know how I should live my life better than I do.
The High Init, Low Atk Guy
When it comes to Init he can roll straight 18-20's in full view of everyone. When it comes to actually making attacks, he would be lucky to break a roll of 5.
my friend is like that.
The High Init, Low Atk Guy
When it comes to Init he can roll straight 18-20's in full view of everyone. When it comes to actually making attacks, he would be lucky to break a roll of 5.
Heh, I make characters like this... +16 init, +5 attack at level 8... Of course they usually have uses other than combat. I like making skill-monkeys.
The Samuel Morse Rather than pay attention to the game action, is busy sending/receiving text messages. (Is slightly less annoying than the Ma Bell.)
The Browser Spends all their time at the game table reading the PHB (or other reference book) even when the party is in the middle of combat. The rest of the group is always waiting on them to make a decision, which usually turns out to be a hold action.
The Borrower Game after game never has their gaming materials with them and is always asking to borrow something. Dice, Paper, Pencil, Mini, PHB; they're always forgetting something.
The Borrower-Browser Asks to borrow your PHB then hangs on to it the whole night with their nose buried in it. If you're not careful and keep an eye on your book, they might accidentally walk off with it.
the guy who keeps bringing animals/reptiles to the game - seems he's always bringing some new and disruptive creature to the game because he "promised a friend to look after it." It runs around, it bites, it defecates or urinates, it makes noise, or it just plain creeps out a particular player ("awww, c'mon, its just a garden snake...")
the gal who figures if its not her turn, its not important enough to care - she doesn't listen to what's going on with/for the other characters, she buries her face in a book when its not her turn. But she gets incredibly upset if everyone is not paying rapt attention when it IS her turn!
the couple who bicker and argue openly during every game - they may be married, or just going out, but they bring their personal relationship baggage out full bore, right in the middle of the game. Whether just bickering or high-volume shouting - tears and slamming doors leading to awkward tension, followed by "no.. it'll be okay - I'll just go talk to her..."
the guy who thinks that the ONLY way to have fun is by ruining everybody else's - he will do or say ANYthing, both IN-game and OUT of it, to embarrass, demean, belittle, and downright hurt any or all other players. Unfortunately, he's often somebody's best friend, or owns the house you play at.
The guy who just cannot help but make fun of everybody's character name - and usually in a vulger, sexual or scatological way. EVERY character's name, EVERY game.
The gal who completely ignores the main story plot focus, in favor of the most mundane, minor, minutia - No matter how urgent, or world-threatening the adventure, she will always want to go off and spend enormous game time chasing down the proper town official to notarize her official request for admittance to the local baker's guild.
the gal who always asks "can I have more?" - she always asks for, and expects to get, more than everybody else: more points to buy stats, more money for equipment, more levels at the start, more XP for an encounter, more magic items, more hit points back from healing, more influence with NPCs ..and will make everyone miserable if she doesn't get it.
the guy who cannot keep his mouth shut - he just never stops talking. Ever. ...EVER!!!
the "Creepy Old Guy" - the much older, male player who may have tons of Role-playing experience, knowledge, and equipment - but then he begins to have his "character" flirt with the "character" of the much younger, female player(s) in your group. ...and then you start to realize, its not his "character" at all - he's NOT role-playing...
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
Frot, that's me!
Last campaign (3.5 FR), I played a Tiefling Barbarian. Our DM, Camille, her jaw dropped open when she saw my dice rolls (she was watching the rolls) and not a single roll was less than 16.
Well, I'm a #66 when it comes to stat rolls and attack rolls, anyway. However, my saving throws often SUCK.
# 180 - Jesus In The Flesh
This character is always exalted, refuses to kill anything that isn't labeled as "always evil" commonly tries to convert peasants, is a complete priss and/or weak willed goody two shoes
You need to rename this. Jesus was cool and anything but a prissy wuss or a goody two-shoes. He tried to keep many of his miracles as well as his messiahship a secret, told people to deal with some really hard crap before they could come be his follower (he asked one rich young ruler to give up everything he owned). He purposefully spoke in parables and riddles because he wasn't interested in just converting people and having them get it. He kicked the money changer's corrupt asses right out of the temple. He blew enough peoples' minds that the religious establishment of his day had him executed as a threat.
I would LOVE it if a player played a character that was half as cool as Jesus in one of my games.
Will take the chance to pontificate against a given group, political party, religion, school of thought, or something else (sometimes even an ethnic group) whenever he can tangentially relate it to the game. Often oblivious to the idea that there may be members of such groups right there at the table.
* The Drink Spiller. Doesn't matter what he's drinking, nor what type of container...it's probably gonna hit the floor.
* Lord of the PVP. If, for whatever reason, this guy needs to roll a d20 against another player, he always rolls 20s. Every. Single. Time.
* Disturbing Background Boy. Every character the dude creates has some really unsettling background, usually involving gang ****...
* Superior Redundancy. Joins a group knowing it has a role pretty well covered, then proceeds to make a mechanically better character of that role.
* Blissfully Ignorant. Owns the books and has played for years, might even go so far as to make copies of pertinent rules for his character...yet somehow acts surprised (and angry) when you inform him that no, you can't make a full attack after moving more than 5 feet...
* The Unflushable. The guy most of the group would prefer to leave for whatever reason, but just won't take a hint.
* The Drink Spiller. Doesn't matter what he's drinking, nor what type of container...it's probably gonna hit the floor.
I wish it would hit the floor. That would be much, much better than him always spilling it on my dungeon tiles!
Here's one...
The Overly Devout Christian Gamer - Everyone knows one...that one Christian guy or girl who can't say a paragraph's worth of words without quoting scripture. But what happens when that person decides to play D&D? Say hello to a session of proselytizing, trying to play a christian in Faerun, and sermons about what's wrong with "Faiths and Pantheons", and why there should just be one god in the game.
Note: I have nothing against Christians, but everything against anyone who thinks they know how I should live my life better than I do.
i read a book on one it's called Wizards of the Game (or Wizards of the Dice i cant rember srry) so anyway this guy has a Paper mache Lava Demon In his room and the Guy Freaks out so he gets the Princapal to give anyone that plays the game in School will get detenion and 3 detenions is an Expulsion so this guy folows his "friend" he thinks he is trying to stop him from "Brarganing with Satan" which is just a game of D&D (not called D&D but is somewhat like it) so then he protests all the gaming shops in town. Later he finds out that what he thought where ojuja boards where actuly game Boards (has a suprise ending that i wont tell you about).
#154 - The Physicist.
Knows physics. And chemistry. Could build a nuke out of dice and cheetos. Tries to use all his knowledge to 'invent' stuff in the medieval ages, or use magic to create something he doesn't even know exists.
Tends to come up with.. 'interesting' ways of thinking, knowing for sure that something is a fact even though the world at large that he lives in knows that it's heresy, and this 'radioactive mutation' he speaks of can only be the ravings of a heretical madman.
Will figure out exact distance between flying objects and ground objects using math, calculate the density of something, gather innocuos materials that blow up when brought together...
I could go on and on but you all know the guy.
#156. The Gear Monkey.
Same people as #155, but this is the in-game manifestation. They have to have detailed plans, stats, and descriptions for their collection of wacky custom weapons, wagon trains, flying citidels, underground lairs, maps of their parents house, daily rotines, exact inventories and p.p/e.p/g.p/s.p/c.p counts. You know you've met one when they have a character binder instead of just a sheet.
Both me except for the maps of my parents house
Btw, we all still don't know (IC) he is a practitioner of the dark arts... lol
I forgot this one earlier.
#66 Dice Jesus:
Not so much a bad player as is annoying to play with. Dice always rolls what he needs when he needs it. And he ain't cheating. He can roll any dice anytime anywhere to come up 15 or better. They may miss one melee strike in a nights worth of play, and god forbid they fail one saving throw in this campaign. Dice-J's character is always the hero of the day, never dies, and is usually more than happy to take all the credit for his accomplishments as well.
This was me for one campaign. The worst, most railroad-y, poorest put together campaign I ever played in. Despite rolling in front of the DM he still accused me of cheating. He stopped telling me why I was rolling would just tell me to roll dX. I still made every stat check and save.
He totally freaked out when I criticaled his darling NPC (who had 10hp) who was flying away with my Short Bow at fartherst range. What do I need to hit? Nat 20. What does my 2d6 come up? 12 damage. Rolled in front of his eyes both the natural 20 and damage.
I don't fell bad about this though, as I said, worst campaign ever.
Man, this guy sucks. He rolls the dice and gose onto and uneven surface or somthing. No matter what it lands on, he clames that it was offsides and rolls again. Most of the time he does this it lands on a low number, but he seldomly does it on a high number like 17 unless the DM tells him too.
Dice Hidder
He stands in the back of the room/table whenever you play. He never sits next to anyone and it seems odd too. When he rolls his dice, he does it ins secret. However, he alwasy seems to get high numbers like 15-20 and he never rolls lower.
This guy is constantly on the look out for dire rats. He makes perception checks before entering every room to check for dire rats. Once in the room he searches every square for possible hiding spaces, traps, or illusory terrain hiding dire rat ambushers. When finally attacked by dire rats, he misses most of his attacks, usually takes the most damage from the least amount of attacks as well as contracting a disease. After combat he is ****** off his paranoia over dire rats did not pay off, but he won't stop checking because it would be ironic if he did and was, yet again, attacked by dire rats.
Ok, ok so maybe I made a silly one but you get the point, its the guy that checks every square.
The Guy that pets his dice
Yea, it's that guy. He pets his dice and talks to them. Then when they fail to do their job he throws them at the wall, just like his hamsters.
The Guy that pets his dice
Yea, it's that guy. He pets his dice and talks to them. Then when they fail to do their job he throws them at the wall, just like his hamsters.
What's wrong with petting dice if they've been good? But you never throw them against the wall, what's that gonna do? You isolate them in "the box" if they've been bad, and if they're still bad after their punishment you line the rest of your dice up and smash the offender with a hammer while the others watch. Always make examples of the bad ones where you can.
Gnome lover for some strange reason, this guy loves gnomes....maybe a little to much
Unforunatly that is me
but we have something in our game that is the halfling lover
* The Drink Spiller. Doesn't matter what he's drinking, nor what type of container...it's probably gonna hit the floor.
Hmm...I wish it would go on the floor more often. I was writing up my second 4th edition character the other night (19th level Pally/Just), got up to get a drink, got back, and one of my friends had already spilled a drop of coke on the sheet. And the character hasn't even been played yet!
My kingdom for a character sheet without food and beverage stains on it...
Nah, it just isn't a character sheet if it doesn't have cheeto-dust or salt-grease or coke drips dried into it. It's the whole roleplaying experience we're going for people!
7. The 'Twins' who ALWAYS work together
This is actually two people who always, no mater what game, are butt brothers. They always says and do and mimic each other. These guys will make similar and or complementary characters and will always be the best of friends in game.
Me and my bestfriend are literally playing twins, same class too. :D
Nah, it just isn't a character sheet if it doesn't have cheeto-dust or salt-grease or coke drips dried into it. It's the whole roleplaying experience we're going for people!
Much like the (misconception) that a martial artist's belt goes from white to black from the years of dirt accumulated while training. The more stains the more powerful the character!
#51: the herbal medicator.
must self medicate before, during, and after the game. likes to "hit" something alright, just not in the game.
#52: the leader.
always tries to assert oneself as leader in every game. regardless of character's personality or charisma. likes to hog game time.
#53: the evil player secretly in a good game.
one of the most cheezy players. a group thinks they are all playing good characters. one night the evil character decides to coup de grace sleeping party members on his/her watch. this has not happened to me yet. not for lack of trying. i have managed to figure out the evil players within a good group every time so far. never fails, after i figure it out i play my character cautious but do not really worry about the evil character. they are pretty cowardly over all.
The worst is when you have all three combined into a single entity.
[W]e have something in our game that is the halfling lover
I personally am fond of tieflings.
Anyway, i did not see these among the dozens of entries, so ehre they are now.
Mr. Graphic: I don't mean art, I mean he is very graphic in his descriptions. But not of characters or settings, but in bloody, gruesome deaths and torture, not to mention he does not care if the listening area consists of 4-year-olds or 40-year-olds, he does not tone it down for anyone.
Obscure Book Guy: No one knows how he does it or why, but he'll have the most obscure D&D/d20 class/item/feat/whatever ever, and when asked where he got it from, he'll show you some book made by a third party that no one in existence has ever heard of.
When he DMs games, he'll spend a lot of the time looking through said books (most of which are PDF ebooks he found on file-sharing software) looking for magic items to use in his games.
I have gamed with the second person. The one session of the game I played with him as DM lasted 4 hours. 3 1/2 of it was him going through his books for magic items.
You know the guy who was a DM for a long time and now that he is at your table has all kinds of ideas about how your DMing it wrong. Tries to tell other players how to make their characters, usualy with a misconception of cannon rules leading to faulty advice about min/maxing and uber build combinations. May even begin introducing house rules without cunsulting the DM.
#131 Lord of the Rings RPer
This person makes a human wizard named Gandalf... a ranger named Aragorn... a halfling named Frodo... a dwarf named Gimli... an elf named Legolas...etc., etc...
And yes, I HAVE had this happen... most frequently in newbies... a guy wanted to be a halfling druid named Frodo...
Personally I dock XP if any player uses a LOTR name for their character.
its your turn ok ........
is it my turn ... is it my turn..c\
combat ends....player opens a book/paints minies, inores roleplaying...is it my turn yet is it my turn yet.
hes only playing because hes in between college level classes and needs something to do. tends to try to be very logical when facing abberations.
The Pyro
will always choose a spellcasting class that has access to tons of fire spells,
always has at least five or six vials of alchemist fire and or oil, frequently lights things on fire in and out of game. they also like to light dungeons on fire or blow them up. frequently uses fireball. CN Elven Warmage 20
I happen to be a pyro as a player. this is me.
me: i cast produce flame and scout ahead a little bit.
DM: you go forty feet and turn a corner you see an open door on the left.
Me: i quitely look into the room and see whats in there.
DM: you see a kobold wearing robes and a giant mole there is what appears to be an extreemly large puddle of oil on the ground:
Me: Oil Burns? Right?
DM: Yeah??
Me: i throw my produce flame at the puddle
:evillaugh DM:
fine the room starts on fire.The Guy with ADHD - Cannot contain himself while waiting. Will pick up any handheld object within reach when not his turn and start playing with it. (Often by spinning it or tossing it up and down.) Will inevitably drop said object onto gameboard, where it will strike no less than three creatures, usually during a particular important round of combat. Prerequisite: <5 Dexterity.
The Delayer: The guy who delays until the next encounter.
The Idiot: The guy who readies a delay. I realive this can not happen by the rules but that still doesn't stop in from happening.
this guy as you know watches too much Naruto, or some other popular shounen anime (such as bleach, DBZ or yuyu hakusho) he will try to replicate his favorite character (usually a lead role or pretty darn close, whether it be yusuke, ichigo, sasuke, etc) he will even give the same name and backstory. his favorite campaign setting is most likely oriental adventures, he will most likely homebrew insanely overpowered races, classes, feats, or spells to fit his concept, his class is usually called "ninja", "pirate", "shinigami" or other such popular cliche concept. these guys also believe the katana is the most powerful weapon in existance.
#6969 The Dry Filler Fiction Writer
this guy probably wrote cheap cheesy filler stories for class credit in school. he tries to take said cheesy filler characters, (usually only a small crowd knows these chars) and play them in a game of D&D. he will try to replicate them to no end. if for some reason he can't fulfill his completion before campaign ends. he complains. he tries to create his character over and over, the first time, it was most likely an original concept tested on some freeform RP. to replicate it would most likely require revisions or additions to classes or rules. said character is only half achievable in gestalt. if said character dies, they will remake that character in thier entirety or cry till they get ressurected.
#6970 The MMO Convert
This guy plays MMORPG's and most likely has a subscription to WOW. This Guy Tries to convert his WOW character to D&D rules. when he plays and Eldarin Wizard, He will scream things such as "I'm A Blood Elf Mage!!!!! and my name is Sylphenia!!!!! Stop Calling Me Sophie the Eldarin Wizard!!!!!" or possibly more so as a minotuar cleric "I'm Not a minotuar cleric!!!!! I'M a Tauren Shaman named SirHealsAlot!!!!" as an elf ranger he will say "I am a night elf hunter, you cannot get past my invincible panther, they call me infantryfox and my pets name is hungrycat" he will never give up trying to turn a game of D&D into WOW d20. He will grind every creature 3 levels lower than himself up to his level. he wants to level up from quests of minor effort. he believes saving grapes from sparrows is the same as slaughtering epic kobold demigods. the only things he wants to fight are kobolds, gnolls, trolls, troggs and animals. he believes everything 3 times his size is a solo.
he also beleives you should be able to level up as high as 70
#6971 The Freeform Carbon copy
this guy plays specific characters on his freeform games, he believes games shouldn't have stats and usually comes up with munchkin freeform characters. he knows that to survive a freeform game you have to break the antimunch projects guidelines most of the time, 67% to be exact. in freeform games immunities can save your life, but too many and you will be ignored, they will usually pick an obscure race with few weakensses on said freeform game and a crapload of strengths since balance doesn't exist. it is all about power. and the wise survive. where you must have at least a crapload of quasi magical powers to survive. they often when playing d&d will copy thier munchkin characters. usually failing to make a perfect carbon copy. will always have a level or few of a spellcasting class to mimic certain abilities thier character did, Dimension door/blink=flash step fireball=dragon breath.
they will complain about how thier freeform character was able to spam these attacks every round.
#6972 DM of the God Mode campaign
this guy plays campaigns with many high powered variants. usually triple class gestalt, uber high stat generation where 76 point buy pales in comparison, spell recharge and/or other uber high powered variants stacking.
usually multiple of these together, class defense bonus + armor as DR +spellrecharge+tripleclass gestalt+highest of 6 d20's per stat is common amongst these guys. they usually don't know how to play without thier godmode rules. it's okay to feats every 2 levels, but a feat every level is kind of pushy unless you have access to the biggest feat compendium in existance and everybody wants 20-40 feats. in these campaigns feats never end. they usually give 2+1 increases per 2 levels.
i have been a player in a godmode campaign (not a dm)
i am guilty of the #6971 and #6969 (same character) (Shuriken Nekogami) still couldn't make her. the closest i made to her was in a first time campaign i started playing in (not dming). ( Tri Gestalt Rogue//Sorcerer//Ranger 20 Swap ranger animal companion and wild empathy to get both fighting styles and ranger abiltiy distracting attack (flank with ranged weapon) ultimate finesse/archery machine, she had at level 1 16 str 22 dex 20 int, 20 cha and 18 all other stats (basic rules in campaign was roll 6d20 and only use the highest result 6 times, stats were 12-20 before mods (anything 11 or lower was rerolled), reroll anything lower than 12, feats every level, ability increase every 2 levels to 2 stats of choice and 3 class gestalt. campaign was scary. spell recharge was there too)
"Hey, I will roll my dice again because it hit the book and this affected the result”.
The result on this case was 1, if it was 20, course that he does not need to roll it again.
#6974 - Cacofonix
This guy plays as a Bard (always)... and likes to sing or simulate a flute's sound everytime that he uses his powers.
#6976 - Innuendo Man: Giggles every time your Warlock pulls out his "rod." Derails narrative because DM describes a group of wraiths as a "dark cloud" after someone farts by laughing for ten minutes. Does this constantly.
Also:
The Guy with ADHD - Cannot contain himself while waiting. Will pick up any handheld object within reach when not his turn and start playing with it. (Often by spinning it or tossing it up and down.) Will inevitably drop said object onto gameboard, where it will strike no less than three creatures, usually during a particular important round of combat. Prerequisite: <5 Dexterity.
Guilty. Although I don't toss objects around. I make elaborate and decorative dice towers. I usually don't hit anything until my friends smash my dice tower because they "must."
( i knew a guy who used dice where the numbers were written in japanese (he was the only one who could read them) he kept getting the highest results, max damage, auto hit crit, stats of 6 18's (or 6 20's if stat gen =d20) played races with bonuses that benefitted his class with minor penalties, most of which he made, himself. or twisted rules on, his favorite weapon was a large greataxe which monkey grip entitled him to. he didn't pick his feats out of his books, he picked them off etools, 3rd party ebooks, or neverwinter nights all of which he had printed copies of. with rulings. at level 1 he could 1 hit kill ogres with those dice and nobody stopped him. since he supplied most of the dice and the snacks.)
#6977 the multicultural cheater
this guy learns the hardest foriegn script he can legally pass off, and gets custom dice written in said script of each type, for some reason he always gets the max or pretty darn close, (d6=4-6 d4=3-4 d8=6-8 d10=7-10 d12=9-12 d20=15-20) he always gets what he needs to hit the target AC and score a freaking crit with the most damaging weapons possible. he uses mythology of that culture to build his own uber races that benenfit what he needs. he uses 3rd party irrelevent material, such as printed ebooks, pdfs, etools sheets or game archives for ddo or neverwinter nights and the like, he always has feats that give him more dice, if allowed to gestalt, he will be a monkey gripping fighter//rogue who sneak attacks with a large greataxe or 2 large bastard swords, he loves more dice, and dice with many sides as it gives him more to fudge around, he will have max results 100% of the time, but only with his foreign custom dice. usually written in some japanese minority dialect or even heiroglyphics. the only time his fudging fails is with real american dice or when a culture expert such as a linguist or archaeologist is right next to him to read his dice for him.
i have played a game with one of these, his name is jeffrey bloor, he always uses handmade japanese dice made from rocks in his spare time.
#6976 - Innuendo Man: Giggles every time your Warlock pulls out his "rod." Derails narrative because DM describes a group of wraiths as a "dark cloud" after someone farts by laughing for ten minutes. Does this constantly.
Hey, I game with one of those! The worst thing is it's a bit contagious, ruining any mood that might have been mounting prior to the stream of fart jokes. Oh God, I said "stream"...
Originally Posted by Harmor View Post
7. The 'Twins' who ALWAYS work together
This is actually two people who always, no mater what game, are butt brothers. They always says and do and mimic each other. These guys will make similar and or complementary characters and will always be the best of friends in game.
i dont see much of a problem in that, may be tiring, but at least chances are that they are effective and having fun.
The Give-the-DM-the-Bird player.
This guys, for whatever reason, thinks it's hilarious to destory all your plot hooks by whatever means nessicary, for no other reason than to cheese you off and watch your reaction.
DM: There's a riot in town, they're going to burn your fiance at the stake!
PC: Not my problem, I turn on my heals and walk out of town!
DM: A man is trying to smother a girl with a pillow!
PC: I kill her with magic missile and say "That's how you commit murder!"
DM: An old man comes up and says he'll pay you to . . .
PC: I stab him in the face.
The Vengeful BAS***DS
These players, may actually be decent role-players. However, every character they role-play is super vengefull.
DM: Okay, Y'know that dude you stole from? Well, you come back to your home base to find some stuff stolen from you, with his calling card on the table!
PC: OH! THAT IS IT! I'm gonna find him, make him watch as I kill his cat, then draw and quarter him!
DM: DUDE? He just did the same thing to you as you did to him.
PC: . . . . then I'll bind his ghost to an eternal torment of . . .
The "Panty Thief"
Everyone knows the panty thief. Its the PC who thinks he is pulling a fast one by being Chaotic Neutral but acting like he's Chaotic Evil. He plays a rogue and doesn't do anything except pick pocket the other Player Characters and try to steal their items. If he gets particularly mad, he'll randomly declare to your character "make a spot check," followed by "I just stole your underpants."
And should you retaliate against that character, in game, he gets really angry out of game, saying "I was just roleplaying my character!"
I had an encounter with the "panty thief" once, which was resolved by my barbarian with a huge axe rolling a critical hit and cleaving the small halfling rouge in half. To his cries of "I was only roleplaying my character" I responded "So was I~ you tried to steal my underpants."
That particular player was famous for pc-killing and pc-stealing, and never facing any consequences for it, and so there was much rejoicing and cheering to see him get what was coming to him finally.
# (I lost count)
The "Panty Thief"
Everyone knows the panty thief. Its the PC who thinks he is pulling a fast one by being Chaotic Neutral but acting like he's Chaotic Evil. He plays a rogue and doesn't do anything except pick pocket the other Player Characters and try to steal their items. If he gets particularly mad, he'll randomly declare to your character "make a spot check," followed by "I just stole your underpants."
And should you retaliate against that character, in game, he gets really angry out of game, saying "I was just roleplaying my character!"
I had an encounter with the "panty thief" once, which was resolved by my barbarian with a huge axe rolling a critical hit and cleaving the small halfling rouge in half. To his cries of "I was only roleplaying my character" I responded "So was I~ you tried to steal my underpants."
That particular player was famous for pc-killing and pc-stealing, and never facing any consequences for it, and so there was much rejoicing and cheering to see him get what was coming to him finally.
sleight of hand doesn't let you steal underpants. first, you cannot fit them in a palm, 2nd, the player would know simply by a breeze, 3rd, where are you going to hide them, 4th, they are never unattended. 5th, it would also require a grapple check. and you cannot sleight of hand in a grapple.
if a guy does that, wear a chasity belt, with 5 DC 125 uberlocks. also the guy won't be able to take 20.
This is the guy who brings the wrong edition to a campaign, (4th edition books to a 3rd edition campaign, 1st edition books to 4th edition and such) he will use unbalanced material from the wrong edition or propose a new edition. he will often complain about lack of power, or the party will complian about him being too powerful. as they realize hes playing a 3.5 VOP Druid in a 4e campaign. he usually wants to play a non updated class that his dm cannot convert yet.
My example:
Wizard: "I'm going to go Arcana check those runes on the ground."
Me (Warlord): "I'll go with."
Wizard: "Why? I can take care of myself."
Me: "No you can't. If you get into trouble, I can bail you out."
Wizard: *SIGH* "Okay, I guess. *rolls for Arcana* 28."
DM: "You don't know the exact nature of the runes, but you know that they activate a trap and are triggered by contact."
Wizard: "I'm going to walk on them."
Me: "WHAT?! Wait ... Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Wizard: "My Arcana check didn't show that they were malevolent in nature."
Me: "It said they trigger a trap!"
Wizard: "I step on the runes."
DM: "Seriously? Okay. You hear a piercing scream from within your own mind." *We both take 7 damage*
Me: "You're an idiot, you know that?"
Wizard: "I didn't think it was a bad kind of trap ..."
Me: "Did you think candy was going to start pouring out of the walls or something?!"
Frustration ...
This guy prefers editions with infinite loopholes that make godhood achievable at 1st level, he will never play point buy, he always wishes to roll dice and forces the dm to enforce said rule, he dms from the back seat. he never has scores below 14, he will reroll anything below 14 until he has everything 14 and higher and at least 3 18's. he will never touch an alternate class feature no matter how powerful, in his mind, sorcerers are better wizards, and both should have pets, he believes every druid should wildshape and have pets that are 4 levels too high. whenever a player asks the dm (not the jeffrey bloor) about an alternate class feature that is actually balanced or a self nerf, he will yell "That is F****** Gestalt!!!" (the JB yells that) without knowing the meaning, when he tries to gestalt, he calls it cross classing. the only strategy this guy knows is to drop a foes hit points to zero. he will pick features from books he does not have, (usually he has these as ebooks or etools, or some similar game such as neverwinter nights) usually he will never meet the feats requirments when taking them. the jeffrey bloor must have every steriotype in place, he will not play a character more than half a class away from thier favored class, no matter how suboptimal. all his wizards throw fireballs, all his rogues steal, all his fighters monkey grip greatswords 1handed with a shield. when he gives powergame advice, he gives the worst builds. always half elf over human. he believes XP penalty is a godly gift. his worst fear is multiclass orc barbarian/rogues with wands of fireball. which is rather suboptimal, he prefers more dice and bigger dice, not to mention he tries to stack that which shouldn't stack, and like the multiculturaral cheater, he carries foreign dice.
jeffrey bloor was who i based the multicultural cheater off of.
8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
Um, guilty. And I'm male.
#7003: The guy who always has to be different.
I had a player who never wanted to play any of the "boring" races from the PHB or DMG. He always wanted to play something unusual from the Monster Manual or something he found online. Whatever it was, it always had a tail.
(He was also big into furry culture, but that's another story.)
One time he had a race he found somewhere that was "like a satyr, only the legs are those of a horse and the upper half is like an elf, and they have a horse's tail." He said it and we all just looked at each other and said, "Whatever."
The "Players superceed the DM" guy.
This player doesn't seem to understand that the DM is supposed to have fun too, and thus will ***** and moan at everything the Dm does if it is in any way 'restricting.' He will cry fowel if you disallow the ninja class in a reisance Italy campaign, call you a tyrant if you don't let him play a half-dragon, and be a pain if you don't allow every single variant from every single book including the third party publishers.
#Seriously, we still doing numbers?
The "OMG, this is the greatest thing ever bye" guy.
Plays DnD once, says it was super fun and it was great. Then leaves . . . forever, and won't play again because he doesn't unerstand the concept of multiple session games.
Then on next adventure, when someone else is DM he wants to be DM again so he doesn't bother playing, dies purposely or kills a NPC and gets jailed. Eventually killed by guards when starts to insult them / tries to kill them.
What is worse is the thing has leaked into another game we all play. Where the guy playing the halfling is a 10 ft tall blue elf, hitting on another 14 year old character.
I'm over it. No more petophile PCs in my game.
I'll add the few I've had so far (the bad ones anyway)
The Joker
This player finds D&D one long funny story. He won't take any situation seriously, make constant word jokes and quote movies to NPC's.
Guilty! But if you follow my group's adventures, you'd already know that. If it's okay with the DM, then what's the problem?
Will loudly accuse any other player of power gaming if the use anything not found in core. Feat, spell, baseclass etc. PrCs are not accepted even if they are in the DMG! Also has no understanding of game balance. Believes Core is the epitome of balance and all other products are progressivly less balanced.
Will say things like "The Mystic Theurge is totally OVERPOWERED! You can cast spells off both Cleric and Wizard lists!"
(It does not apply to those who do understand game blance and point out real power gaming. Even if they are very loud and rude about it, that is a different problem)
The Paranoid Accuser often lashes out driven by the fear of becoming this guy:
Mayve been listed but...
The Useless Character Afficiando: the guy who continually plays the most useless character in a group, often under the blanket defense of "roleplaying". Sometimes it is due to a real desire to play a RP heavy character at the expense of combat/adventuring ability, but more often than not caused by sheer pig-headedness or a lack of knowledge of the rules. This player is the diametric opposite of the Powergamer. Even if he does manage to get a moment in the sun, where his character has the ability(s) to save the day when the rest of the party is helpless, more often than not he will ignore the opporunity and do something so unbelievaly inappropriate to the situation it will most likely end up in a TPK. (Yes, I have one of these in my current gaming group - be it Human Cleric or Gnome Sorceror, he is consistently a drain on everyone else in combat situations...he also compounds the frustration by telling other people how they "should" be playing their own characters)
A subspecies fears everything new, and holds it as an issue of faith that it is broken. Psionics, Warlocks, and the Favored Soul is a god in human form!
Usually a female player who has come to the realization that the players in this game have a fair amount of money & in some cases have never had a really attractive women pay attention to them. She is in the game just to drain their account of money before moving on to the next group. The way they usually do this is remove him from the game with the lure of another sort of roleplaying & then drains his account by getting him to purchase her pretty things.
THE BREEDER
As above but this versions motivations are permenent fiscal & emotional security. She has been jipped before and know has decided that she's going to try to hook up with a geek & this is the best way to go about it. After all a geek always has enough money for those silly little plastic toys & he will never leave her, because no one as attractive as herself is going to want him (which she will reiterate to him anytime he disagrees).
Believe it or not i have meet both these players & they are very disruptive to a group dynamic on a large scale. Its a player type you don't see often. Yes i did use female examples for both because it happens more often then not that way round, not that i'm saying the roles couldn't be reversed.
THE SUITOR
A player who is interested in another player at the group. The other player is of course oblivous to the interest of the first. The would be suitor will play characters who are similiar in style to that of his or her idol Or alternatively a character who is complimentary to his or her style. Sometimes the suitor trys to make advances on his or her idol in game. Of course its pretty obvious to everyone else at the table.
THE SUITOR
A player who is interested in another player at the group. The other player is of course oblivous to the interest of the first. The would be suitor will play characters who are similiar in style to that of his or her idol Or alternatively a character who is complimentary to his or her style. Sometimes the suitor trys to make advances on his or her idol in game. Of course its pretty obvious to everyone else at the table.
Make The Suitor the DM who has a crush on a female player he's teaching how to play, she oblivious to it all ....
The Pun-Pun: Any player who searches out the way to make a completely broken character... Then proceeds to make everyone at the table feel inferior.
One guy I Dm made a 4 hudred year old eladrin petophile. He is constently hitting on the halfling in the game. He thinks it's funny. I guess. Now I try to me open minded but this is just abhorent. I tried to play through it for one level, about 5 game sessions, hoping he would get over the joke. But no, he and the other player go through there little stick with eladrin hitting on the halfling and making crude remarks about .., well you get the picture.
What is worse is the thing has leaked into another game we all play. Where the guy playing the halfling is a 10 ft tall blue elf, hitting on another 14 year old character.
I'm over it. No more petophile PCs in my game.
Bad form. One time joke sure, laugh. I know I have laughed once at much worse. :embarrass As a running character a **** would not be funny. I would say SOMEONE HAS ISSUES and may want to seek some professional help.
As far as the thread question goes, how about...
The Insecure Mysogynisitic Chauvinist
This player, normally male, automatically assumes that because Role Playing Games are a male dominated hobby, that when an attractive and intelligent woman sits down at the table to play she always has ulterior motives. And that when her character flirts with anyone in game, PC or NPC, that this somehow has out of game designs; that two players of the opposite sex can't just be two friends having a good time with no further implications; and that during this whole time the woman is just oblivious to what is happening. The same can be said of DMs.
I have seen this happen many times, and it is very disrupting to the dynamic of a group. It is also insulting.
I also dislike, The Suitor, the Ninja.
The Insecure Mysogynisitic Chauvinist
This player, normally male, automatically assumes that because Role Playing Games are a male dominated hobby, that when an attractive and intelligent woman sits down at the table to play she always has ulterior motives. And that when her character flirts with anyone in game, PC or NPC, that this somehow has out of game designs; that two players of the opposite sex can't just be two friends having a good time with no further implications; and that during this whole time the woman is just oblivious to what is happening. The same can be said of DMs.
I have seen this happen many times, and it is very disrupting to the dynamic of a group. It is also insulting.
it can also be hilarious :D
it can also be hilarious :D
OMG!!!
That link was EPIC!
Here have a WIN cookie!
...as the saying goes "been there, done that"...
Too keep things going, how about the...
The Reality Lawyer
This player is the one that based on one or two physics courses in college, or because they watched one special on the History Channel thinks that they have a complete understand of realism in fantasy combat mechanics and magic. Furthermore they feel the need to tell this to everybody during everygame and argue with the DM.
I am sure this or something like this has been listed in the previous pages. i haven't read them all but I thought I'd bring it up anyway.
The A** Menagerie
This player has built his character around summoning and never enters combat until he's popped his seventeen rabid badgers into existence. When his turn comes around it's choice time to run to the corner store or work on your novel because he's going to be rolling dice for a long while. In our party of four, he tended to bring our numbers to twelve and drag combat out to interminable lengths. In fairness to him, though, I don't think he knew how bad the concept would be when he made it and eventually switched to less aggravating tactics.
The Madden Hatter
With football season once again descending on us, I'm sure I'll see a resurgence in my new group. This is the guy that spends his game bouncing between the TV and the table because he has to see how his team is doing. Promises to leave it on mute, but that goes out the window after about thirty minutes. Interrupts play with ill timed shouts of glee or mournful groans. Even worse is if he has a portable television. Worse still if there are more than one in your group. Worst if they follow more than one sport.
The 3e troll clinger on.
Thinks that obviously since he or she plays 3e they are a superior species of gamer to anyone else, even as everyone else points out the various flaws in his or her arguments. Either by intention or just flat refusal to acknowledge that yes there may indeed be gamers with different tastes than he or she, and that said tastes are every bit as valid. The 3e clinger on, will go to no end to attempt to spoil the fun of legit D&D players (be it past present of future Es) everywhere by crashing sessions. Pointing and laughing at a strange group playing a different edition.
Has also been known to frequent forums, to bash any other edition than his or her own and it's players knowingly or unknowingly trolling in the process.
The 3e troll clinger on thinks that numerics equals a character and that any other view point however legitimate or illegitimate is wrong.
Often makes claims of "Well if I was Dm.. how am I supposed to Run Painting Competitions?"
The other bad bad archetype.
I don't know if this one's covered or not.
The Dm's brownnoser/stalker. This guy or girl will stop at nothing to make sure their character is special compared to everyone else and borderlined stalks and harasses his or her Dm. The Dm often times will quit campaigns inexplicably due to said individual or have to resort to restraining orders and carrying a weapon on his or her person at all times. Never knowing if today is the day his or her stalker decides to officially snap.
"Okay, I'm using my magic missle...so...that's INT, so, +4...plus I guess I have this wand, which adds +1...so, +5. Oh, and we're level 2, so +1 more. +6. I think that's it. And it's against...[looks in book]... Reflex."
We have been playing for several months, and every session, every turn, is like this. I mean, these are his at-wills, that he uses 90% of the time, and yet he still acts like it's the first time, every time.
I have actually started writing down his bonuses for him. Which I think qualifies me as a different kind of bad player...the whip cracker! "It's +6. All of your at-wills are +6. So farking ROLL already!"
And then of course he has to chose which of his 50 d20's to roll...
(don't get me wrong, I love playing with him, but sheesh)
The RE-CALCULATOR"It's +6. All of your at-wills are +6. So farking ROLL already!"
Be glad your Re-Calculator doesn't just give you a dumbfounded look and then goes back to his math, starting once again from the beginning because his calculations were interrupted.
:headexplo
The Reality Lawyer
This player is the one that based on one or two physics courses in college, or because they watched one special on the History Channel thinks that they have a complete understand of realism in fantasy combat mechanics and magic. Furthermore they feel the need to tell this to everybody during everygame and argue with the DM.
I get this a lot any time I want to play a character with a musket. Sure, some DMs don't like firearms and I'm fine with that, but it's really annoying when I'm allowed to have one and the DM tells me that he's "going to rule that the reload time on the gun is six rounds instead of one or two and cut the range increment by 75% 'cause that's realistic
This person, some new player, comes into the game to try out DnD. The session starts and they are asked to pick out a class. When the DM opens the book and it happens to open onto the rogue, the DM tells them to look at it to get an idea of the class table layout... You know that this will be PAINFUL when they exclaim that a rogue cannot logically have an ability that lets them react before their senses pick up a threat...
And as soon as the words come out of their mouth, the DM begins to contemplate suicide from behind their screen. Oh god, they just flipped the page and found the sorcerer!!!! They will probably be ranting for the next hour and a half... you leave, pick up pizza, go to the store to get pop and chips, and then you come back, seeing that the other players are watching TV and the DM is smacking his head into the wall, listening to the player rant. An hour later, they get over it and choose to play a fighter (At the recommendation of the DM ). Then, the DM makes the horrible mistake of asking them to pick a RACE.
There is another multi- hour long rant and then somebody finally gets the game on track. You encounter a goblin... no, wait, lets make that... a really short, hairy person. The game goes on like this and then the DM passes a note that says " at least they hate the game so much that they will LEAVE after this game..." . At the end of your game, they stand up and crush all of your hopes and dreams and exclaim " I liked this game SO much I want to join! Oh, and I have some friends who want to try it, too! If you liked having ME around, then just wait until my friends come over!! "
... And next session, the other players are mysteriously ill...
We had one of these once. Luckily, the DM kindly kicked them out of the game. Luckily for US, at least.
This guy isn't a bad player, but the characters he plays tend to be annoying. Said characters always believe they belong to the greatest race on the face of the planet and every other race is scum. They are almost always elves, but it could happen with any other race. At best, the snobbery is a minor source of irritation that the party puts up with grudgingly, but at worst, the character is so much like the elven incarnation of Die Furher that the other players have to make will saves each session to resist murdering the guy in his sleep.
I usually don't have issues with elf characters, but seeing this thing over the course of many games has made me want to ban this character type for good.
The (insert race here) Supremecist
This guy isn't a bad player, but the characters he plays tend to be annoying. Said characters always believe they belong to the greatest race on the face of the planet and every other race is scum. They are almost always elves, but it could happen with any other race. At best, the snobbery is a minor source of irritation that the party puts up with grudgingly, but at worst, the character is so much like the elven incarnation of Die Furher that the other players have to make will saves each session to resist murdering the guy in his sleep.
I usually don't have issues with elf characters, but seeing this thing over the course of many games has made me want to ban this character type for good.
Lol... I know one group that has an entire campaign full of these people. Everyone is an elf, because the dwarves, halflings, humans, etc. are all caotic evil. Elves are the most populous species. There are no good deities save for the elven deities, who are all totally holy. Their main foes are human clerics, who are all chaotic evil. Essentially, burning every man, woman, and child who isn't an elf slowly to death over a period of a week after chopping open their intestines would be a lawful good act... the reason that they decided to play a game like this was because they all did this type of thing last game anyway
but yet the DM let them be good characters.
And the sad part is that my group is being broken up, and this is the only other local group that I know of. Heh, when my campaign ends and I join that group, I want to play a lawful good human paladin to throw a wrench in their racist schemes... ;)
Anyway, nice idea! And yes, it is almost always elves. I don't know why... it's just elves.
Lol... I know one group that has an entire campaign full of these people. Everyone is an elf, because the dwarves, halflings, humans, etc. are all caotic evil. Elves are the most populous species. There are no good deities save for the elven deities, who are all totally holy. Their main foes are human clerics, who are all chaotic evil. Essentially, burning every man, woman, and child who isn't an elf slowly to death over a period of a week after chopping open their intestines would be a lawful good act... the reason that they decided to play a game like this was because they all did this type of thing last game anyway
but yet the DM let them be good characters.
And the sad part is that my group is being broken up, and this is the only other local group that I know of. Heh, when my campaign ends and I join that group, I want to play a lawful good human paladin to throw a wrench in their racist schemes... ;)
Anyway, nice idea! And yes, it is almost always elves. I don't know why... it's just elves.
It's because published flavor text, before 4E, always had the elves be the best at everything.
The (insert race here) Supremecist
This guy isn't a bad player, but the characters he plays tend to be annoying. Said characters always believe they belong to the greatest race on the face of the planet and every other race is scum. They are almost always elves, but it could happen with any other race. At best, the snobbery is a minor source of irritation that the party puts up with grudgingly, but at worst, the character is so much like the elven incarnation of Die Furher that the other players have to make will saves each session to resist murdering the guy in his sleep.
I usually don't have issues with elf characters, but seeing this thing over the course of many games has made me want to ban this character type for good.
I have a friend who borderlines this behavior, he loves Elves. He hardly ever makes a character that is not an elf, regardless of the world/system we're playing. With his characters, they are capable of anything due to their heritage, "We elves do this, we elves do that, we elves do tricks wearing little black hats." Fortunately, his dice regulate on him with prejudice.
A favorite moment of mine was playing Warhammer Fantasy RP with him:
He had just spent about seven minutes In-Character explaining how elven magic and magisters were far superior to that of humanity's examples, how magic did what no blade could ever do, so on and so forth. Considering that in Warhammer, the claims are mostly true, and elves are notoriously arrogant, it wasn't really unnecessary chatter, but from this player it was the same-old same-old.
Come one murder, and one hell of a barfight later, we're all swinging hammers and blades in hopes of not dying, and he's sitting in the corner trying to cast a fairly simple "drop item" spell - using a spell component, butter, he failed three times in a row (dice sometimes have a habit of kicking one in the teeth and making one swallow one's words).
After all was said and done, a few sessions later our Dwarf Slayer was explaining the brawl to another dwarf, and worded it like so "So thar we are a'fightin' fer ar' lives, an' ar' damn alf's in tha coarner tryna cast BUTTER." The elf was nicknamed "Butterman" shortly after.
Will be in a crappy real life relationship and will try to kill each other's characters in-game and then argue about it for weeks afterwards... while still continuing to try to kill each other in-game the next time we play in same said weeks after... a never-ending conundrum of WTF???!!!
The player or DM who has just used a book to look up a rule or monster, makes his attacks or judgements, then immediately closes the book and sets it beside his chair. Only to have to pick the friggin thing back up on the next person's turn.
I have a DM like this and I swear his arm must get tired. We've even memorized the page numbers, taken the book from him and sat it on the table, anything we can do to stop the 15-30 seconds of looking crap up over and over each and every initiative.
I admit I don't have a super awesome memory, especially when it comes to powers, but I try to have that stuff ready on my turn so I just have to glance at it.
The Unhappy Couple:
Will be in a crappy real life relationship and will try to kill each other's characters in-game and then argue about it for weeks afterwards... while still continuing to try to kill each other in-game the next time we play in same said weeks after... a never-ending conundrum of WTF???!!!
Simple, boot them from the game.
Typicly this guy plays a rogue, in which he tries to steal as much as he can from the other players, even during combat with enemies, and find ways to trap them and weasle more out of them somehow. If you interfere with him, you might as well kiss yoru character goodbye. Mostly because, he's stolen all the good magic items and you're left with bupkis, which means he's got an enourmouse advantage over you. Other times, he plays a semi normal character who PURPOSELY starts fights with other players and friendly NPCs.
Often times, if he's relegated to a specific alignment, he'll 'conviently forget' how he's supposed to act or outright warp the meaning of 'Lawful good' for example.
Its not that its just one or two chars like this... Its ALL of them. They all are designed to break up the party or kill everyone off, leaving him as the most powerful in the whole group, at which point he'll purposely sacrifice your characters by 'conveintly' locking the door with the BBEG behind you.. and him on the other side, so you, in your poorly equipped state, are certain to die.
EDIT:: This is NOT the guy who is 'pretending' to be good, he'll write down that he's chaotic good and claim that as his excuse if he's called on it. He's often never true to his alignment if he writes one down for that matter alone.
If the antagonist is playing a campaign where the DM says that the party is going to be evil, would the antagonist be the most evil of the lot, or would they play a paladin?
... sorry, had to ask :P
EDIT:: The point is that they activly try to go against EVERYTHING that the DM and the rest of the players may have agreed upon as how the group and game is going to be. If they say no lawful character.. he's going to get as close to lawful as he can get, just to irk the players.
I realize I phrased it in the terms of a good party. But in evil parties he'll play 'good' just to be an arseclown.
They wouldn't play a paladin.. no no.. but they would act as a good character anyways.
EDIT:: The point is that they activly try to go against EVERYTHING that the DM and the rest of the players may have agreed upon as how the group and game is going to be. If they say no lawful character.. he's going to get as close to lawful as he can get, just to irk the players.
I realize I phrased it in the terms of a good party. But in evil parties he'll play 'good' just to be an arseclown.
they would play the paladin in a party of rogues, assassins and other larcenous character's though.
The Sleeper, annoying
The Drinker, annoying and irresponsiable
The Lawyer, annoying and drags the game out
The Powergamer, got to love the guy who makes the party unbalanced
The Anti-role-player, annoying and boring
The Wussgamer:
There is nothing wrong with regulating powergamers. It keeps the munchkins away, and it keeps the good ones in line.
This guy though, has taken it over the top. Any moderately good character is derided as a new Pun-Pun, he plays the most clunky characters possible, and inventive tatics-for example, setting a fire under an enemy's horse to spook it-is "an abuse of the rules".
These are the kind of players the Stormwind Fallacy was made for.
The Arrogant Actor:
This guy seems to believe that since he RPs to the point where it is almost hard to tell if he's the PC in real life as well, that makes him better than anyone else. He rubs it in your face too.
The Serial Killer Actor:
The Arrogant Actor, but here it's also a justification for some downright Lawful Stupid acts that would get one branded a terroist in real life. Killing a party member is fair game should he break the traffic laws.
The Lonewolf: The type of player that always plays a rogue and is always contrarian for the sake of it. They never get along with the group and inevitably 'roleplay' leaving the party unless I, as DM practically wipe their characters ass in terms of always keeping the character happy.
Then I have the character that is never content with being one of the standard playable races. They come to the table with a half celestial, demon, devil, dragon, orc, elf, elemental, mindflayer freak of a character, and can't seem to understand why I use my veto powers.
Players making a character of the opposite sex is usually fine with me (one of my favorite characters was a female favored soul of Pelor), but this guy seems to have no clue how to effectively play a female character. For some reason, they all seem to wear chainmail bikinis and try to act sexy anytime the party enters a city :rolleye2:
The Paladin Hater
For some reason, this guy is always trying to make the party's paladin (or any other character who has alignment/conduct restrictions) fall from grace by tricking him into killing some random person or commiting some other act that is in violation of the PC's code. A lot of DMs seem to fall prey to this too, and take a perverse joy in doing it.
Either being a bit dull, overworked, tired or drunk (on adrenaline) or maybe because of medication or legal/illegal substances, these players are slow on the uptake, taking ages to notice that it's their turn, then contemplate their action for ages, and then calculate their attackbonus again from scratch every time they attack, and do the same with their AC if they are attacked. Some may be decent in combat, but they're very bad at decision-making out of combat. They can get easily distracted too...
Subtypes
The overly creative harebrained snail:
This subspecies of the harebrained snail wants to combine their actions with spectacular stunts. They rely entirely on the DM to tell them which feat/skill of theirs can help with said action. Worse yet, they may try to modify their magic items with really silly options, e.g. adding a ram to a flying carpet.
The impulsive harebrained snail:
As the subtype above, but these players want to perform that their PCs couldn't pull off, e.g. tame animals despite having (3.X) no ranks in Handle Animal / (4e) low wis and no nature skill training...
The one-trick-harebrained-snail:
If they ever find a built, - worse yet, an optimized built, thanks a lot, CO Forum - to suit their tastes, they stick with it, and whine if an encounter calls for other tactics, or try their one-trick-pony at the first opportunity, even if it wouldn't meet the circumstances...
The "Save my game"-column once adviced DMs to say "Yes" to players' ideas, with these players, you rather don't ... lest your game needs saving all the more.
Then I have the character that is never content with being one of the standard playable races. They come to the table with a half celestial, demon, devil, dragon, orc, elf, elemental, mindflayer freak of a character, and can't seem to understand why I use my veto powers.
Well to be fair, core races suck
("Hey look, a fantastical mythical creature!"
"Nifty, can I use it?"
"No, it's NPC only. You can be a human, elf or dwarf."
"..."
"Isn't this fun?" :yuck
.On the topic, I kind of fall into that category and the power gamer, although mostly at the behest of my DM. On my own I just engage in shenaniganry (Oh, Elocater, you'll be mine someday (Assuming I can find a DM who doesn't immediately dismiss psionics as broken simply because it, like everything, can be broken :yuck
).The golden rule- If your dm thinks THAT is broken... Then break the DM :evillaugh
Indeed. Think this was already mentioned/belongs in a different thread, but the "Core-Only" people; "Can I use this homebrew race, with no modifiers, but can summon a housecat as a full round action once per day?"
"ZOMG That's not core and therefore overpowered!"
Now I need to mainline some Gurren Lagann into my brain :D.
#212: The Fartist
One of these stinking fellows can really ruin your sessions. They elevated their outrageous habit to a subtle and delicate Art. You hear no sound, and in one moment the whole company chokes. These consummate veterans of bio-attacks can saturate an entire room and still can deceit all those present with their impassive mood. They can either blame all the others with disgusted grimaces (****!!! You guys stink!!!") and pretend them to feel sorry.
They will categorically negate any responsibility as well.
this is me down to a tee,ahh the times
i once had a player who wanted to be a gnome on a unicycle with a large green top hat.
my rogue has a uni cycle and riding it asuuming i make to dex chech negates all ballence checks(im an avid unicyclist)
i once had a player who wanted to be a gnome on a unicycle with a large green top hat.
I'm currently playing, to use my friend's description, "the silliest half-vampire ever" :D. I've got a *****in cape and sunglasses (the former haing an emblem of a flaming skull wearing the same *****in sunglasses), a magic flying umbrella and am a grave robbing Weapon Master (shovel).
Edit: to stay on topic, (and to pierce the heavens!)
The GOREman
The kind of player that practically uses the Book of vile darkness as a PHB. Long descriptions of injuries and sexual torment he inflicts on monsters are commonplace.
I have one in my group. Let's just say he made a backback with a hobgoblin's nut sack. And watched in glee as he bled to death.
As a Chaotic good vampire that "row row fights the powa" with a drill?
Edit: to stay on topic, (and to pierce the heavens!)
The GOREman
The kind of player that practically uses the Book of vile darkness as a PHB. Long descriptions of injuries and sexual torment he inflicts on monsters are commonplace.
I have one in my group. Let's just say he made a backback with a hobgoblin's nut sack. And watched in glee as he bled to death.
i don't use the book of vile darkness. but i do like to rub salt in the wounds of demons, watching them writhe in agony from the burn, as well as slit torture done to an erinyes, via barbed dagger, i also like making balors cry like babies as i tie them up, cut slits all over thier body, rub salt in each slit, whip them, as i turn on a faucet, eat in front of them without feeding them, castrate them, stuff said removed organs in thier mouths, sew thier mouthes shut, cut out thier eyelids, sprinkle holy water on sealing wounds of said demon, or devil, chop off it's left pinky as i tie an elastic band around thier arm for them to bleed out where thier pinky used to be, into a funnel, into a chalice, where i drink said bled demon blood while smiling wickedly. stick fishhooks into the demon's muscle, through it's skin, and rip it off of said demon, as i sever thier ligaments one by one, where them i chop up the demon, stew it, and eat it in the middle of the abyss with other demons and or devils watching as they cry like little girls. rinse wash repeat with a new demon, or devil. i also enjoy doing this to half fiends, fiendish animals and tieflings, or if complete opposite alignment, aasimaars, celstial animals celestials, and half celestials. i like saddistic torture to morally opposite creatures, this all started in the campaign with a 12 year old asian girl named shuriken nekogami (my second campaign character, based on a character from gaia, but heavily nerfed) ( a human rogue) would practice this on evil outsiders, kobolds, goblinoids, the alleybashers thieves guild, ( she sewed a later enchanted masterwork nobles kimono out of thier sashes) she also did this to clerics of hextor. the dm killed her with 3 reverse fudged crits and 1 miss from an erinyes's flaming bow (fudged to where they were crits) she was of chaotic neutral alignment, worshipped st. cuthbert, and died on her 13th birthday. her body, too late for ressurection, (even true ressurection) a cleric each of moradin, correllan, garl glittergold, yondalla, zarus, st. cuthbert, and for some reason the cat god, nekojin lechatt, (does he go on these boards?, he never read or heard of the nekogami, but he knows about thier primary patron deity) worked together to seal her, preventing rot, but stopping the process of resserection, don't know where her soul went though.
i could think of this without BoVD
7 clerics to deal with 1 soul, though a holy scion of the father of all things feline. (she is the sister of all things feline)
so you don't need BoVD to be graphic and evil.
I am a semi GOREman
I am a semi GOREman
semi?
this player contantly strains suspension of beleif and go out of him way to not do the quests and to see how the Dm will get his pc to do the quest
not to be confused with railroading
Dm: you are in a roughly hewn tavaern ,a gamey,musty smeel fills the air and alerts you to the suckling pig,you think think this should be a happy occassian but there is crying and sobbing coming from a lady in the corner
pali:i walk up and comfort her
rouge(bad player):i run and falcon punch her then ask the bartender what is wrong with her
its like she justs likes how the dm can "make" make her character do any thing and derives amusment from it
However, destroying/improsoning theit immortal soul will make them shiver.
*The more you know!*
#?- The Contradictory Ass
This is the player who is playing a character who is suppose to be a highly trained dedicated serious warrior whom at the same time is a smart-ass and some how fun-loving. What instead happens is you get a tough fighter who plays practical jokes, is tough to intimidate in game with force, whose behavior is unpredictable and is generally a bother in real-life and in game.
The dancer. This guy can barely contain himself as combat heats up, and performs a little jig before every dice roll he makes. Often likes to "act out" what his character is doing, drawing an imaginary sword as the party explores the dungeon, nocking an invisible arrow in a nonexistent bow and taking aim at imaginary enemies.
The dancer. This guy can barely contain himself as combat heats up, and performs a little jig before every dice roll he makes. Often likes to "act out" what his character is doing, drawing an imaginary sword as the party explores the dungeon, nocking an invisible arrow in a nonexistent bow and taking aim at imaginary enemies.
I have a dancer in my group. Needless to say, he's NOT the GOREman!
He bends his limbs to the max while reciting Chtulu-esque incantations. It's all good fun!
The Closer
The player or DM who has just used a book to look up a rule or monster, makes his attacks or judgements, then immediately closes the book and sets it beside his chair. Only to have to pick the friggin thing back up on the next person's turn.
I have a DM like this and I swear his arm must get tired. We've even memorized the page numbers, taken the book from him and sat it on the table, anything we can do to stop the 15-30 seconds of looking crap up over and over each and every initiative.
I admit I don't have a super awesome memory, especially when it comes to powers, but I try to have that stuff ready on my turn so I just have to glance at it.
I confess to doing this but I tend to do it when I have 3 books to check at once, though I now use bookmarks to save time. lol.
I don't think rubbing salt in a demon's wounds, let alone a Balor, is going to be very intimidating to them.
However, destroying/improsoning theit immortal soul will make them shiver.
*The more you know!*
that's only part of it, with enough salt, you can make a balor cry, however eating a stew made from them in front of other balors would intimidate the others, not only will it make you look superior, but they will run crying, the torture leads to the stew, and the stew is scary, it's like Barbecuing a slain Tiamat in front of every chromatic dragon known to man. or baking steaks made from correllans body itself in front of elves, and eladrin, or even murdering lolth in front of a major drow population.
semi?
i normally wouldn't give such a detailed description, that was an example of a really bad GOREman.
I'm currently playing, to use my friend's description, "the silliest half-vampire ever" :D. I've got a *****in cape and sunglasses (the former haing an emblem of a flaming skull wearing the same *****in sunglasses), a magic flying umbrella and am a grave robbing Weapon Master (shovel).
But do you go beyond the impossible?
In short, this sort of players 'd rather spend their evening playing with your cat or dog than with you. At worst, they maybe offended it they have to fight a species related to his preferred pet including up to Werewolves or Rakshasa (hope I got that right...)
The Furry Friend
Typically a guy, playing PCs all too similar to himself, with a penchant for all things furry, scaly and female. When "rping" or his sorry excuse thereof, he prefers to hit on anthropomorphic creatures or at least a more savage humanoid. Asks whether you 'd include Catfolk or other creatures of that type, his intentions relatively plain to see. May even go as far as being interested in dragons...
In short, somebody whom you should never ever ask to care for your pets while you're on holiday!
The crazy-cat/dog-person
In short, this sort of players 'd rather spend their evening playing with your cat or dog than with you. At worst, they maybe offended it they have to fight a species related to his preferred pet including up to Werewolves or Rakshasa (hope I got that right...)
Well to be fair, playing with cats is an effective method of getting your daily dose of vitamins cuddly, wuddly, and fuzzy
in one fell swoop :D.
But do you go beyond the impossible?
Well, I took out a miniboss by myself (spider climbed onto the ceiling 75 feet up and dropped a 49 lb ball of iron on him from my 50lb-Bag of Holding, then flew down on my umbrella, blood drained him to like 4 constitution, and beat him to death with my masterwork frost shovel (which is now keen too apparently). That was like everything I loved about that character in one :D)
Well to be fair, playing with cats is an effective method of getting your daily dose of vitamins cuddly, wuddly, and fuzzy
in one fell swoop .
Agreed! At times, I was wondering whether our cat would have been a better player and more contributing to our campaign than some other players (like the other type I mentioned...)
Agreed! At times, I was wondering whether our cat would have been a better player and more contributing to our campaign than some other players (like the other type I mentioned...)
Yeah, feline intervention is great for those times when the roll doesn't go the way you want it to.
The evil mesiah-
This guy no matter what will play chaotic evil. He will be so evil the things he dose would make vecna cower. He is usualy carrying the BOVD to the game table.
Sample (from 3.5 group. 2 such people):
DM: "You see a pillar."
1: "Knowledge (religion) check"
2: "Knowledge (arcana) check"
1: "Knowledge (history) check"
2: "Knowledge (local) check"
You know this person. He, or she, is the one who plays solely to seduce any bar maiden or "Holy" Paladin that they come across. Yes, you know who I'm talking about. That horny Bard with the high Charisma that loves to pork Maiden Marian or that slutty ***** of a female Rogue that just loves to violate virgin Paladins and Clerics, turning them into their sex puppets. Or even worse, the Male player who plays the female PC seducing NPC females and males. These players know no shame, porking or taking from any weak willed NPC be they human, elf, Gnome, Dwarf, Drow, Orc or even those that go bump or howl in the night.
Ironically, it's the only thing they are good at. Yep, that's right. Bards.
#9: Dice Ninja
Regardless of other co-ordination issues, the Dice Ninja is incapable of throwing a die onto the correct flat surface. His (or her, although only male specimens have been attested) rolls go on the floor. Onto the miniature mat. Into the cornchips/fireplace/cat. Anywhere but on the table within three feet of him.
#13: Center of the Universe
Invariably creates backstories for new characters that involve being a prince/princess/scion of deity, or being the center of the campaign plot. Is generally the worst roleplayer as well.
#18: Player Killer
Frequently attacks party members. Usually has sneak attack, usually attacks weakest/newest character. Often CN/CE/CS in real life.
Oh, memories... the dice Ninja tried to kill my princess, actually, but I ended up a princess accidentally cause I thought "Wynarn" was a funny name so I wrote it down. Eberron, how you amuse me...
###: Excrutiating detail junky: "Yes, which seasonings were used on the chicken IS relevant to my next action..." "Tan as in beige, or tan as in taupe?"
Sometimes I do this, but the DM usually throws snacks my way to halt my questions... which I recommend as a strategy for dealing with troublesome players, as annoying the DM less is now a vital part of my diet plan.
Mr. Generic/Mrs. Generica
Only makes fighters with power attack, cleave, weapon focus, weapon specialization, and related feats. If human, wields a greatsword, if dwarven, wields a dwarven waraxe.
This guy is an avid follower of the Cthulhu Mythos and constantly brings it up during gameplay. Will often ask if he can play as a cleric of Cthulhu or an alienist that worships Yog-Sothoth. Will not be truly happy until he has fought Deep Ones or used the necronomicon to summon a Byakhee. If he is playing Call of Cthulhu, this guy will play as a scientist named Herbert West or a Prviate Investigator named Jack Walters (
for reference).The Pop-Culture Guy
Not a bad player, but a lot of the characters this guy makes have references to something in popular culture. Case in point, a rogue named David Hayter, a bard with Perform(Comedy) named Yakov Smirnoff, or an elf warblade/eternal blade with ranks in Profession(grass cutter) named Link. Many of his ideas for things to add to a campaign setting also involve pop-culture references, such as having the Yuan-ti infiltrate an gnome airship or having Thay attempt to conquer Faerun by founding McZulkirs.
Note: I am guilty of both and have done almost everything I listed.
Guilty of this one. :D
HP Lovecraft Looovvvveess meeeee!
This guy is an avid follower of the Cthulhu Mythos and constantly brings it up during gameplay. Will often ask if he can play as a cleric of Cthulhu or an alienist that worships Yog-Sothoth. Will not be truly happy until he has fought Deep Ones or used the necronomicon to summon a Byakhee. If he is playing Call of Cthulhu, this guy will play as a scientist named Herbert West or a Prviate Investigator named Jack Walters (
Emphasis mine. Herbert West, as in the Reanimator? My favourite Lovecraft story to date. Scared the living daylights out of me though. But you have now given me the idea of playing Herbert West, though probably as a Dread Necromancer. Hmm....
Yeah, feline intervention is great for those times when the roll doesn't go the way you want it to.
Yep, I got the card too. I was wondering to pass out some cards from Munchkin at times to spice up my D&D sessions. The harebrained snails I gamed with might have liked with their short attention spans and all.
The Pop-Culture Guy
... Many of his ideas for things to add to a campaign setting also involve pop-culture references, such as having the Yuan-ti infiltrate an gnome airship or having Thay attempt to conquer Faerun by founding McZulkirs
Does using Nazi-Hobgoblins (Nazi a la Indiana Jones, stupid baddies you feel good when beating them up... oh, wait that goes for real Nazis too) count, or together with a Bugbear elite cadre, led by Unterbillwissfuehrer Bruff Gloder? (Cookie for the reference...)
Cheers
Captn M.
my dice never land on the table
my favorite moment
the elf sorcereress kira moonsong threw a sonic sphere ( sonic version of fireball, without reduced dice) in a jungle, the 20 foot radius sonic boom killed many gnolls, not by sheer damage alone, but knocking falling trees on top of them, the dwarf figther, "bear" yelled "timber!!!" as the dwarf duskblade "dilantha" insulted kira's kobold ancestor. ( a kobold sorcerer named steven)
in this situation, the dice would not land flat
another bad player candidate
#??? "The Outsider" (i'm guilty of this on occasion)
the outsider plays races or classes foreign to the campaign world, such as playing an elf air shugenja in greyhawk, calling it a rain nymph, a human ninja in forgotten realms, or a samurai in ravenloft, they will bring a planar shepard to faerun, or a dwarf cleric of moradin to oriental adventures. or they will pass thier character as immigrating from another country, just to justify a particular name or weapon, even a magic item they created using the item creation rules that they say is perfectly legal because it is in the dmg, and thus core. this player has to bring setting specific characters to unlikely settings where culture woul not allow thier existance. they will even be willing to add a country to your setting whether you like it or not. they make excellent campaign cartogrophers, assuming you let them add each country they desire. (i played a ninja appprentice (treat as underage human rogue), and an ame warashi (rain nymph) (treat as elf air shugenja) with a dm who plays strictly europe, he had to houserule all campaign regions as one big world map.) the annoyance factor of an outsider isn't that bad, most dm's don't really care. you either don't mind and are willing to adapt them, or you hate thier guts for playing foreign characters. they can be quite creative, when they want to. (especially thier area of expertise, ususally anime) the outsider plays characters that are foreign to the campaign world, either through, race, class, culture or heritage. or even another concept.
#??? the outcast monster
this guy likes to play monstrous races, he will never play strictly core only, he is a subspecies of the outsider, he prefers monstrous races, especially in 3.5, he will also play various subraces but never the main race. he is not content with humans elves and dwarves, no he wants to play exotic races from the following, homebrew, monster manual, the races of series, and rarely played campaign settings. often a newbie who doesn't know the bad side of ecl.
#??? apprentice of the black sheep
another subspecies of the outsider, this one rather than play obscure races, prefers strange classes that a campaign setting would normally disallow, most of which are newbies who do not like the flavor, picture or iconic examples of a class, usually they have a concept that could be covered by said unwanted class, but they don't like the flavor or iconic examples, or maybe, they do not like paticular abilities and want to cherry pick what they desire, or even make up new abilities to call thier class unique, most of which already exist, they usually homebrew thier own cherry picked class, when they could've gained all those features from prestige classes, or flat out multiclassing. just not at the level they want. these are the people who shouldn't homebrew, there are plenty of subsitution levels that can build similar characters. though not wht they want. and not to the broken extent they desire.
Emphasis mine. Herbert West, as in the Reanimator?
Yup. The one and only, though the reference I was trying to see if anyone understood was to Jack Walters.
But you have now given me the idea of playing Herbert West, though probably as a Dread Necromancer. Hmm....
OMG, what have I done!?
Ever since then, ripping doors off their hinges and carrying them around has been strictly against the cosmic rules of the universe.
#??? "The Outsider" (i'm guilty of this on occasion)
the outsider plays races or classes foreign to the campaign world, such as playing an elf air shugenja in greyhawk, calling it a rain nymph, a human ninja in forgotten realms, or a samurai in ravenloft, they will bring a planar shepard to faerun, or a dwarf cleric of moradin to oriental adventures. or they will pass thier character as immigrating from another country, just to justify a particular name or weapon, even a magic item they created using the item creation rules that they say is perfectly legal because it is in the dmg, and thus core. this player has to bring setting specific characters to unlikely settings where culture woul not allow thier existance. they will even be willing to add a country to your setting whether you like it or not. they make excellent campaign cartogrophers, assuming you let them add each country they desire. (i played a ninja appprentice (treat as underage human rogue), and an ame warashi (rain nymph) (treat as elf air shugenja) with a dm who plays strictly europe, he had to houserule all campaign regions as one big world map.) the annoyance factor of an outsider isn't that bad, most dm's don't really care. you either don't mind and are willing to adapt them, or you hate thier guts for playing foreign characters. they can be quite creative, when they want to. (especially thier area of expertise, ususally anime) the outsider plays characters that are foreign to the campaign world, either through, race, class, culture or heritage. or even another concept.
Guilty to an extent. One of my characters that has been converted to a DMPC is a drunken master from the Forgotten Realms equivalent of China and is never seen without a large supply of sake.
The Pop-Culture Guy
Not a bad player, but a lot of the characters this guy makes have references to something in popular culture.
Guilty. My latest PC is named Rictor Astleigh. Amusingly, he has never said anything like "never gonna give you up" or "never gonna let you down" in game, even after a few months of campaign =P.
The Pop-Culture Guy
Not a bad player, but a lot of the characters this guy makes have references to something in popular culture. Case in point, a rogue named David Hayter, a bard with Perform(Comedy) named Yakov Smirnoff, or an elf warblade/eternal blade with ranks in Profession(grass cutter) named Link. Many of his ideas for things to add to a campaign setting also involve pop-culture references, such as having the Yuan-ti infiltrate an gnome airship or having Thay attempt to conquer Faerun by founding McZulkirs.
Note: I am guilty of both and have done almost everything I listed.
Also guilty, although they never have the name of the referenced icon.
Guilty. My latest PC is named Rictor Astleigh. Amusingly, he has never said anything like "never gonna give you up" or "never gonna let you down" in game, even after a few months of campaign =P.
You have to do it, though... Or else you WILL be letting them down.
This thread is too good to die, bumpeth
I wish this thread would die.
Or at least change the name to 1001 player types I disagree with or something.
For almost all of these I've seen both good and bad cases of.
...
...
Except the dice rolling guy. I get tired of looking under the table to see what your fighter rolled on his save. . .
#???: The Good-Natured guy
No matter what happens to this person, it never fazes them. The DM unjustly nerfs their character? Hey, it's ok. You lose their dice, or one of the supplements you borrowed off them? No worries. Character death due to ridiculously good, bad or impossible roll? I'll just come up with another... It doesn't matter what happens to this person, good or bad. They're always in that slightly cheery mood. While good in certain situations, it can get annoying. Fast. Eventually, every session becomes an attempt to **** this guy off. It doesn't work. EVER.
The Initiative Jumper
This guy can never remember whom he falls before and after in turn.
He can be found constantly jumping up out of his chair, shaking his dice and asking repetitively: "it's my turn now, right?"
--This guy is actually a great buddy of mine, i just think it's hilarious that he sometimes tries to go twice in a row!
You have to do it, though... Or else you WILL be letting them down.
At least you know he won't run around and desert them.
The guy who finds loopholes in all the rules to exploit in order to have a grossly overpowered character. He is usually prepared to fight tooth and nail against the DM saying that he or she won't allow it in his or her own campaign.
The Optimized-Monster Lover
Where, in spite of the DM expressing that the campaign requires normal-looking characters, the player will draw templates from Savage Species, Book of Vile Darkness, and every other such book in order to make a two-headed monstrosity that ****s up the campaign. This player doesn't even qualify as a min-maxer, he's just a "maxer". There's no flavour in his character beyond the flavour that can be created by throwing in random ingredients with bold tastes (usually why it is a ****** character). Also prepared to fight tooth and nail against the DM saying that he or she won't allow it in his or her own campaign.
The Broken Cog
You all know how it works when you get a campaign that goes well; it's like a well-oiled machine. This guy, however, is the wrench in the gears. When he gets bored of the story he will arbitrarily kill off random party members or important NPCs to express his dissatisfaction in the most juvenile fashion.
HP Lovecraft Looovvvveess meeeee!
This guy is an avid follower of the Cthulhu Mythos and constantly brings it up during gameplay. Will often ask if he can play as a cleric of Cthulhu or an alienist that worships Yog-Sothoth. Will not be truly happy until he has fought Deep Ones or used the necronomicon to summon a Byakhee. If he is playing Call of Cthulhu, this guy will play as a scientist named Herbert West or a Prviate Investigator named Jack Walters (
Guilty as charged, I know, I know everyone is looking at my nick and saying "I NEVER would have guessed". Though I usually DM, so more often I am the DM version of that player and my players end up fighting very Lovecraftian cults and every Lovecraft Style monster I can find (Aboleths are an especial favorite of mine).
Though in my defense, I tend to make things 'Lovecraft Flavored' rather than direct ports. I.e. in my campaign 'The Cult of the Yellow Rune' which are a group of Tharizdun woprshippers play big role.
The music guy:
Has to have an intro song for his character, a battle song, a song for setting up camp, heck, a song for when he character takes a ****. Will often be the most inappropriat song possible.
Don't think this one has ever been posted:
The music guy:
Has to have an intro song for his character, a battle song, a song for setting up camp, heck, a song for when he character takes a ****. Will often be the most inappropriat song possible.
Guilty. One of my friends from high school and I came up with an idea to have a character who has a flaw called Soundtrack. Literally, the character had a soundtrack permanently attached to him that would play a different song for every action that he took (including move silently checks).
Alternatively, we also came up with a paladin who had a sword enchanted with prestidigitation so that it would sing battle hymns whenever combat started.
Guilty. One of my friends from high school and I came up with an idea to have a character who has a flaw called Soundtrack. Literally, the character had a soundtrack permanently attached to him that would play a different song for every action that he took (including move silently checks).
Alternatively, we also came up with a paladin who had a sword enchanted with prestidigitation so that it would sing battle hymns whenever combat started.
I want a soundtrack IRL.
Fine, you get the soundtrack from some 70's porno. :P
Sweet!!!
Complete with the background sounds, all at the worst of times.
Of course I'd have to grow out a moustache to accomodate my new soundtrack.
The Shouter
this person naturally talks loud and often shouts without knowing so and gives no explanation why.
The Stop Railroding!!!!!
this person constantly shouts (see above) stop rail roading! lets say I give you a wuest from a king to go into the forest to get siad object. he'll say "no i don't wanna go into the forest! i think we should leave the country! if some1 says lets just go into the forest he says you geust it STOP RAIL ROADING!!!!!!!
I think the name says it all. This guy either doesn't know how to type correctly, or does it just to **** people off.
The i Cna't speel dood:
A cousin to the l33t sp34k3r, this guy truly doesn't know how to type in english. Even if his native language is english, he doesn't seem to have anything beyond a third grade comprehention of spelling and typing.
I play many pbp games and have dealt with both before. Both are annoying, and should be dealt with quickly.
The Texter; always some douche bag who will constantly text through the entire campaign, usually to a clingy "better half". Not a cell, it's a "boyfriend locater". Terribly rude, keeps them from RP'ing well, removes them thematically, and is relatively insulting to the DM (the only words they should be attenuating to are either printed in an RPG book, or spoken (PC/DM).
This is, of course, is a step up from the "frequent phone call guy" that cannot seem to explain to the rude 3rd party that he is presently spoken (gaming) for and this emergency call about "the kids' lunches tomorrow" could've waited...cuz' the other players now wait on him. Establish boundaries.
The Poor Dex Player (not PC); this is the ass that is gonna' fry your laptop due to a poorly judged and placed pint of beer, coke, water, etc. He will also traffic w/ the Dice Sniper moniker in that his rolls go everywhere. He will knock over and chip your favorite minis, trip when rising from the table and knock over every damn peripheral, and probably break a household object too. If you have a pet in the home, be extra mindful.
DM's family member or S/O; not necessarilly bad players, just very combative ones often enough. Because of the nature of their relationship out of game, they will frequently forget protocol w/ the DM (still seen as brother or b/f) and regard him in that light still. This means more frequent arguements than other PCs, less acceptance of DM's license, shorter-fuses, and constant interruptions during important DM cut scenes or encounter primers. Again, boundaries and discretion.
Will turn a campaign into a "sizing contest" because "his is harder". Even as his group is being Tpked and demonstrated the tactical ability of bread mold. And showing of obvious thrwarting of his "perfect trap" examples that he brings up repeatedly by several others in the group within a minute's time no thinking required. Or his character and himself have endangered several other party members. Leaving the rest of the group to wonder "Just how did he end up a Dm in his group's games"
The reason this guy is the other other dm, is there are already two dms in the group.
The other, other other Dm Sometimes is the other other dm's friend. Is like a more quiet version of the other other dm.
I'm a DM too; this is not to say a gaming group can't have more than one DM/GM/Storyteller/blah-d-blah, it is to say, there is on occasion a player who also fulfills that role, who somehow brings that up. One time, when I first started DM-ing, one of the established DMs in the group kept wanting to pull me aside to 'suggest' things and/or cut a deal. It was quite annoying.
Another time, in my first 3 edition campaign, I had a player, who because he DM'd felt he had already mastered the rules I suppose, kept saying what he should/should not be able to do. While I'm fine with being wrong with the rules, there is a time and place to bring that up, and that is after the session is over or during a break.
Micha and I are in the same group, and we both DM, and we do not nearly have these issues. Yes, there are parts to each others campaign that the other does not like, but we understand we are actors in another mans play so to speak.
#22: Mr. Ubiquitous. His character is always where the action is. Your rogue sneaks up ahead to scout and finds a chest...his character is somehow right at your side. Your wizard casts detect magic and finds a hidden magical item, somehow this guy has his hands on it all of a sudden. He never waits his turn, he dominates play, and all in all is a pain in the butt.
We refer to these types as CE - Chaotic Everywhere
HP Lovecraft Looovvvveess meeeee!
This guy is an avid follower of the Cthulhu Mythos and constantly brings it up during gameplay. Will often ask if he can play as a cleric of Cthulhu or an alienist that worships Yog-Sothoth. Will not be truly happy until he has fought Deep Ones or used the necronomicon to summon a Byakhee. If he is playing Call of Cthulhu, this guy will play as a scientist named Herbert West or a Prviate Investigator named Jack Walters (
You mean the main character from the XBox Call of Cthulhu Dark Corners game?
Don't think this one has ever been posted:
The music guy:
Has to have an intro song for his character, a battle song, a song for setting up camp, heck, a song for when he character takes a ****. Will often be the most inappropriat song possible.
One of my characters had Justin Timberlake's Sexyback as a theme song. It always played when he was around.
Yeah, it was a joke campaign.
We refer to these types as CE - Chaotic Everywhere
I love it!
You mean the main character from the XBox Call of Cthulhu Dark Corners game?
Actualy, I think those are from the Lovecraft books.
At least you know he won't run around and desert them.
Yeah... That would make them cry.
If I were him, I'd never say goodbye.
The Zookeeper
The Druid with an Animal Companion who does combat like this:
Round 1: Cast SNA 9 for 1d4+1 critters
Round 2: Cast SNA 8 for 1d4+1 critters
Round 3: Cast SNA 7 for 1d4+1 critters
etc...
making combat grind to a halt, making the other players start side conversations, boring the DM to tears and so on
I play in a LVL 17 PnP group with a Hexblade (me) and a True Necro. I will grant that I am only controlling 2 characters (Hexblade and Hell Hound familiar) while the TN has himself, some high-leveled undead thing, 2 4-armed rogues, a barbarian, and a ranger. I have no problem with the fact his turns take about 4X as long as mine. I do have a problem because he can't keep track of all the character sheets, so spends as much time fumbling around to find AB's as he does rolling attacks.
(Though he did get rid of everyone except the high-level undead thing and picked up a REALLY HIGH LEVEL undead rogue/assassin, which sped up combat a lot.)
You mean the main character from the XBox Call of Cthulhu Dark Corners game?
Why yes. Have a
This guy plays telepaths like evil bastards. Will often use his powers to charm NPC merchants and the like into liking him, then he proceeds to rip them off or use diplomacy to convince them to join his ever-growing horde of followers. He is not averse to doing this to important NPCs in your world and will most likely take the thrallherd PrC.
Mr. Monopoly
No matter what setting you use, this guy will find some way to make huge sacks of money, be it through crooked trading with sea elves or selling Armani Brand clothing to wealthy patrons. The worst part about it is he isn't using any cheesy magical wealth loops to do it. Most of his tactics are incredibly mundane.
These Aren't the Droids you are Looking For
This guy plays telepaths like evil bastards. Will often use his powers to charm NPC merchants and the like into liking him, then he proceeds to rip them off or use diplomacy to convince them to join his ever-growing horde of followers. He is not averse to doing this to important NPCs in your world and will most likely take the thrallherd PrC.
Guilty. I'll play a telepathic character whenever possible, even if it's not a dnd game.
Mr. Monopoly
No matter what setting you use, this guy will find some way to make huge sacks of money, be it through crooked trading with sea elves or selling Armani Brand clothing to wealthy patrons. The worst part about it is he isn't using any cheesy magical wealth loops to do it. Most of his tactics are incredibly mundane.
If he's running a business, he's not going to dungeons or going on adventures. It takes time to craft stuff, and set up buyers, and to find sellers.
If he's running a business, he's not going to dungeons or going on adventures. It takes time to craft stuff, and set up buyers, and to find sellers.
Not if he sets up a factory and hires commoners to do all the production.
Back in my day... This is a player who did things a certain way in some other campaign, is usally playing the same character in this campaign (cause they're one of those types of players as well) and then gets annoyed when you don't let them get away with the same crap their old DM did and doesn't understand why you won't change the rules to accommodate them "But the way we always played it was that my Yuan-ti could shape shift as a free action! It's so annoying requiring a standard action, why can't you just change it?" The concept of game balance and a plan for this game are totally foreign to them.
The hanger on Someone who doesn't really want to be there and is just playing cause their significant other is or for some other reason that doesn't rely on them actually liking the game. Will usually only participate in the form of having other players say "Why don't you do X?" and responding by going "ok". Brings the energy down completely.
The inactive blamer Usually a hanger on to some extent. This player will participate minimally in the game, then afterwards blame their non-participation on other players who were actually role playing or otherwise being heavily involved and say that those players monopolised the groups time or didn't give them a chance to be involved.
The jumped up noob I'm all for encouraging the participation of new players, but you need to know when to start. I once played in an epic campaign with a guy who'd never played before (a bad sign already) who decided to go and get the local game shop owner to write him up the most powerful character he could possibly come up with. After considering playing a half dragon/half celestial satyr for a while he ended up playing some race from Lords of Madness (3.5ed supplement) that was basically a mass of parasitic worms. He had some obscure psionic class and got around the worms very limited movement by infecting the brain of an imp, which was also his familiar. It literally took him 45 minutes to play out a single round of combat, all in secret discussions with the DM.
Ok, I'll stop here before I get into too much of a huge rant.
The 'I have a life' guy: we all know him. It is that assshole who for somer eazon wants to feel better than everyone else by saying that specific line every time he fhucks up in game 'well i didn't know that I have a life'
The 'Ive had so much sex' guy: ussually comes with the 'I have a life' guy (or its himsels). He is always reminding everyone at the god damn table of how many times he has done it. With whom, how. how it looked etc etc
Mr. Monopoly
No matter what setting you use, this guy will find some way to make huge sacks of money, be it through crooked trading with sea elves or selling Armani Brand clothing to wealthy patrons. The worst part about it is he isn't using any cheesy magical wealth loops to do it. Most of his tactics are incredibly mundane.
Guilty. But just as often, I don't plan it out, I just end up ridiculously rich.
Guilty. But just as often, I don't plan it out, I just end up ridiculously rich.
Don't worry, that happens to almost all PCs after a while.
Except Living Greyhawk characters (especially early on) who are forced to sell every suit of leather armor and every short sword from every goblin they encounter just to get a few more cp to pay off their living expenses from ten sessions ago. Heaven forbid they find enough treasure to actually pay off their debts and buy anything. :D
I have had the misfortune to run a game for this type of player. She's the one who enforces every negative sterotype. She is always complaining that their aren't enough female NPC's in your adventure & then when you put them in to try and placate her, she complains about the treatment of her "sisters" by you, you misogynistic pig. She tries to out do every male PC at seduction (oblivous to other players concerns)
actually when i had this player in a game she quickly quit, telling me that DM actually stood for "Dumb-Misogynist"
S/He's a H\she
The guy is a soft spoken florist and his wife is a heavy equipment operator. They show up to the game, him with soft curly hair, her with a butch cut looking right out of boot camp.
He plays a she, and she plays a he.
When no one at the table bats an eye at their "radical" openmindedness, they leave the game.
Not if he sets up a factory and hires commoners to do all the production.
Factories need leaders, leaders need payment. Leaders not paid well enough tend to steal. Leader who steals gains criminal backing as he hires protection. Insta plot point!
No matter what system/setting/timeframe they ALWAYS play the same character! They make superficial changes (swapping his/her primary and secondary stats round, or changing the colour of their hair and so on). They tend to be really techy about the subject and point out the superficial changes if confronted on the subject, it would be fine if they weren't such poor RPers and their clone characters we're neutral/ bearable.
Though much milder than other examples on our list, the Superman makes this list for the fact that the character simply scares the hell out of other players. Like the dice ninja, this player has an uncanny knack for getting good rolls, without the use of loaded dice or other methods of cheating. Also possesses a (legal) character that seems to be immensely good at what they're doing. People who play these tend to have strikers or wizards, and occasionally a defender whose build is doctored for damage-dealing. Classes that have many skills are very popular to these players. The Superman loves playing morally ambiguous characters, and it works too, other players are constantly frightened of betrayal. We happen to have one in our party, she's a halfling rogue and scares the pants off of some of our players.
The Assembly Line:
Always has some homebrew race/class/adventure/world that he wants to try out and insists on bringing them to games. The Assembly Line can be fun to have around if other players (and/or the DM) are willing to try out his stuff, and his things might not even be half-bad. However, these players can wear out a welcome fast, Assembly Lines have a tendency to be insistent about it, and their stuff can turn out to be junk that's either horribly broken, useless, annoying, or all of the above. Has tendencies to fix up some race from a piece of fiction he happens to enjoy.
Chaotic Stupid:
We know who he is, he'll drop his trousers and urinate on the dragon as readily as trying to sneak by him. Not like a CE player, as he usually doesn't justify his arguments with "just playing my alignment" junk. Often done by a player who's either new to the game and wanting to goof around, or a disgruntled veteran cutting loose in every aspect of the game. He is the single funniest thing to read about on any DnD forum, but playing with him is not.
Chaotic Evil Stupid:
This is the guy who's crazy, evil, and stupid at the same time. At the best of times really annoying, and downright creepy at the worst of times. Most of these players are just goofing around for whatever reason, and have a penchant for killing the PCs in their sleep, usually because a single person made some disparaging remark about him eviscerating the old sage who tried to tell them where the amulet of Khostral Khel was. Will also kill important NPCs, often without provocation. The creepier ones tend to enjoy a captured prisoner or otherwise helpless person with "special" relish, if you catch my drift. Expect "absences" from other players if the DM doesn't make some effort to get rid of this guy.
The Super Man/Woman:
Though much milder than other examples on our list, the Superman makes this list for the fact that the character simply scares the hell out of other players. Like the dice ninja, this player has an uncanny knack for getting good rolls, without the use of loaded dice or other methods of cheating. Also possesses a (legal) character that seems to be immensely good at what they're doing. People who play these tend to have strikers or wizards, and occasionally a defender whose build is doctored for damage-dealing. Classes that have many skills are very popular to these players. The Superman loves playing morally ambiguous characters, and it works too, other players are constantly frightened of betrayal. We happen to have one in our party, she's a halfling rogue and scares the pants off of some of our players.
Um... I think that actually might be me. Not the halfling. I mean the type of player
I seem to have some pretty silly good luck with dice. Not always. But often.
I know how to build characters well, and tend to be good at what I do.
Pretty much every character I play is morally ambiguous. Playing the flat out "good" character just never interested me.
I DM these days mostly anyway I guess.
Chaotic Stupid:
We know who he is, he'll drop his trousers and **** on the dragon as readily as trying to sneak by him. Not like a CE player, as he usually doesn't justify his arguments with "just playing my alignment" junk. Often done by a player who's either new to the game and wanting to goof around, or a disgruntled veteran cutting loose in every aspect of the game. He is the single funniest thing to read about on any DnD forum, but playing with him is not.
I almost wouldn't mind a Chaotic Stupid player who was doing it on purpose. The ones I run into think they're gaming gods, and don't seem fettered by the groans around the table whenever they open their mouth.
The Profiteer
I don't know what else to call this one. Had a player ask if he could record our sessions because he "wanted to break into podcasting". The work I put in as DM is not intended to launch your podcasting career bud. Once told no he packs up and drops out.
The "Writer"
Constantly talks about how everyone at the table will see their character in his book one day. Everytime something cool happens, he starts in about the book and waxes about what a great writer he is and how ever professor is amazed at how great his papers are. Bonus if he's never even written a character background or even put 3 words together on paper.
This is the guy who zealously attempts to be a good RPer and fails completely. Being pathetic in a sympathetic way, DMs have trouble kicking the guy out. Although a favorite ruse for people who like to be dicks, true newbs will make a horrible character (tree-hugging elf, alcoholic dwarf, lawful stupid dragonborn paladin, etc.). And while you feel like putting him in a world of hurt because his paladin insists that turnip-thieves should be executed, you know that he's new and only trying to RP.
I did alot of this in my earlier RPing days
The Rule of Cool Guy: We all get these ones- they're usually new players who do everything by the rule of cool. Given a choice between trying to look awesome (at 1st level, against a Gelatinous Cube) and taking the easy method of defeating the enemy and gaining lots of experience, he'll take the 'cool' way, fail, and cause the party an inordinate amount of grief.
In addition, he'll always be going on about his awesome plans, or the mary suish backstory his character has "Oh yeah, by the way, when I was a kid I raised a platinum dragon." and the "Oh yeah, my father was a smith that rivaled the awesomest dwarf smithes, and I'm totally as good as he is" (at first level)
Now, this player might be fun to play with, and with enough work you can probably make him into a sensible player who recognizes that legends get started about the guy who succeeds, not the guy who poses epically and gets stepped on by a giant. But it'll take you a bloody long time to do.
The Accent Guy: This is the guy who's probably a fairly good roleplayer- and whom you can always tell when he's In Character, because he speaks for his character with a fake accent of some sort- usually russian or scottish. He's fun to play with, but sometimes you'll get confused because there's only so long he can do that accent before it affects his throat and he starts talking IC normally.
The Ranger who Wants to be a Rogue: While not necessarily actually a ranger or a rogue, this is a player who has taken one class, but runs it as though it were another. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that, there's the fact that he's always lamenting how his class doesn't have the features of the other class that he could have taken with no problems and spends his time perusing prestige classes that'll make him into that class (IE: 3rd ed thief-acrobat grants all sorts of rogue abilities). And yet, he'll never actually take levels in the class that has EVERYTHING he wants his character to be. He'll just complain about it.
The Accent Guy: This is the guy who's probably a fairly good roleplayer- and whom you can always tell when he's In Character, because he speaks for his character with a fake accent of some sort- usually russian or scottish. He's fun to play with, but sometimes you'll get confused because there's only so long he can do that accent before it affects his throat and he starts talking IC normally.
I have totally been this guy too. Played a Karnnathi paladin with a Russian accent. After my character was introduced, all the DMs Karnnathi NPCs started talking with Russian accents too. (Well, the DMs one Karnnathi NPC. We only ran into one). But I managed to keep the accent up. :P
The Old Hand: This is the guy who knows more about DnD then you- and he's an ass about it. He likely claims to have been playing since 1st edition, even if he was born after it was released. While not necessarily a bad player, he'll constantly try to tell you just exactly what you're doing wrong, regale you with tales about DMs he used to have, and laugh snidely when the newbie ranger decides to take TWF style.
To be fair, it's entirely possible to have been playing since 1e even if you're too young to have played when it came out. The DM who taught me to play, one of my friends' dads, started on 1e and so taught my group of friends with that; we moved on to 2e and 3e and were playing 3.5 by 2004, but when my current players ask me about old fluff or why something works a given way, I can tell them the way things were in 1e as a point of comparison.
And of course there are good and bad ways to be The Old Hand. I have as many last-DM's-campaign tales as my current players, who started with 3e under other DMs; mine just happen to be mostly 1e and 2e. Making fun of new players and snide comments are the wrong way to do it, though.
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A few I've run into:
The Ten-Creatures-In-One Guy
Templates. Templates, templates, templates. And weird races. He's happiest when he's playing a half-water-elemental half-dragon four-armed aquatic troll. I have a character in my current campaign that the other players call the dragon-dragon-dragon-dragon-dragon-dragon-dragon-goblin since he has so many draconic templates. Then again, the other characters are weird too (thanks to his offers of assistance in building their characters), so at least they're all equally strange.
The Turtle
Every one of his characters is focused on defense, paranoid to the extreme, and mostly reactive. If he's playing a melee type, his AC and saves are through the roof. If he's a caster, he has more wards than any rational person should and a miss chance to make the tarrasque jealous.
This player is partaking in a D&D edition other than the one he prefers. Some FoWs restrict their dissatisfaction to occasional snipes against the played version, while others try to import elements of their preferred system into the game. For example, a 3.5 fan might ask the DM of a 4e game to include craft/profession as fully fledged skills, while a 4e advocate may request that Fort/Ref/Will saves get treated as defences. Another type of FoW prefers a game other than D&D (like Exalted).
The Gunphile/Gunphobe.
Opinions differ on the inclusion of firearms in D&D, and for the Gunphile or Gunphobe, only theirs matters. The Gunphile insists on playing a Pistol Pete regardless of campaign, and will drag out whatever gun chart he can find to make his point. The Gunphobe is horrified at any suggestion of firearms in a D&D setting, and treats their mention in any D&D as sacriligeous. Milder Gunphobes may tolerate the arquebus, which typically has far too many drawbacks to be a first-choice weapon.
You know the gender-benders that make an interesting character? The ones who talk in a voice obviously belonging to a member of the opposite sex that you eventually learn to ignore as time goes on and you learn to enjoy the character? This guy/gal is not one of them. If it's a man doing a woman, expect a big-breasted nymphomaniac who goes into the bar and tries to bed everybody in there, regardless of racial barriers. The "drow lesbians" also fit under this category nicely, though I've yet to encounter one. If it's a lady playing a man on the other hand, expect a gruesomely stereotyped male character, usually a fighter or any class with an excuse to be either burly, ruggedly handsome, such as the lovable swashbuckler, or a combination of both. These characters often try to be the apotheosis of masculinity. Expect either of the gender-bender types to slow the game down to half speed with all of their erotic escapades and seductions that would get the average person registered as a sex offender. Often gets angsty when their character or his/her actions are brought up in a negative way, a favorite defense is "I was just having fun", despite wearing on other players' nerves and hogging the spotlight.
The Excuse Generator:
We've all met him or heard of him, he rolls up a fighter who claims to be a prince, or a wizard who says he's Corellon's child. Will attempt to use this background to gain additional powers/items/wealth. Can easily crack up the entire room when he asks why he can't have his extra stuff. Tolerant (read: Gandhi) DMs may actually let him do this, and throw in some special obligations in exchange for his advantages, also tends to make the player have a hissy fit. The worst of the bunch take the added-duties with stride, and quickly spiral out-of-control with gamebreaking power.
The Perverted Fanboy:
Takes the worst of the pervert who commits **** on a regular basis, and the worst of the "dwarves or bust" fanboy and combines them into something that would make Asmodeus himself vomit. These are the types of weirdos who stalk Fanfiction.net in the wee hours of the morning and write despicable erotic Star Trek fan fic. The characters are most likely a result of several years of mind-poisoning and planning. They come across a race that they like, and play it to the exclusion of every other race. Bonus points if it's dragonborn they settle on, due to all the flak they've been catching for being the supposed race of choice for furries. The player will proceed to make up a seemingly normal character that doesn't do much until an opportunity comes along, the player will then abandon all pretense of normalcy and launch into a vomit-inducing description of some vile sexual act, consensual or not that he performed on somebody. May or may not involve: ****, sadomasochism, necrophilia, bestiality, excrement, or things too creepy for the average mind to think of.
It means I'm an awesome pervert, hell yeah!
The Gunphile/Gunphobe.
Opinions differ on the inclusion of firearms in D&D, and for the Gunphile or Gunphobe, only theirs matters. The Gunphile insists on playing a Pistol Pete regardless of campaign, and will drag out whatever gun chart he can find to make his point. The Gunphobe is horrified at any suggestion of firearms in a D&D setting, and treats their mention in any D&D as sacriligeous. Milder Gunphobes may tolerate the arquebus, which typically has far too many drawbacks to be a first-choice weapon.
Guilty as charged. In my current campaign, I'm trying to get the DM to allow gunpoweder weapons. However, I'm playing an Artificer, so it's not like I need an excuse. Plus, I grew up playing Warhammer Fantasy, so for me it kinda makes sense when a fantasy character is wielding a repeater handgun. (For those who are interested, I play the Empire Gun Line, so you can kinda see where I make the connection.)
The Perverted Fanboy:
Takes the worst of the pervert who commits **** on a regular basis, and the worst of the "dwarves or bust" fanboy and combines them into something that would make Asmodeus himself vomit. These are the types of weirdos who stalk Fanfiction.net in the wee hours of the morning and write despicable erotic Star Trek fan fic. The characters are most likely a result of several years of mind-poisoning and planning. They come across a race that they like, and play it to the exclusion of every other race. Bonus points if it's dragonborn they settle on, due to all the flak they've been catching for being the supposed race of choice for furries. The player will proceed to make up a seemingly normal character that doesn't do much until an opportunity comes along, the player will then abandon all pretense of normalcy and launch into a vomit-inducing description of some vile sexual act, consensual or not that he performed on somebody. May or may not involve: ****, sadomasochism, necrophilia, bestiality, excrement, or things too creepy for the average mind to think of.
Um... Did you actually have one of these in your group.....
Last session, the characters learned that the thing they were after was locked up tight. The Criminal Mastermind spent every night last week coming up with the perfect robbery plan. And today, he's spent hours refining it with the rest of the group. Usually foiled in the end by a lack of sleep/food, or because he misunderstood a few words from last session.
The Passive Agressive
He won't complain when things don't go his way. He won't even call you out when YOU make errors. He will just let out a long, agonizing sigh. A few hours later, you will cave in, and ask, "What's wrong?" Your only answer will be, "Oh, nothing." *sigh*
The Oh, Yeah
Alright, boss battle! "Oh, wait, I forgot, I have underwater basket weaving today. Sorry DM, I gotta go!" Or, "Oh yeah, I've had this resurrection scroll in my backpack. Sorry, three dead PCs who've had to roll up new characters!"
The Anime Junkie
Always Japanese names. Always experts at martial arts. Always tries to maintain an air of superiority. Always mimics lines from their favorite anime/manga. Always has to have a cute creature they trust more than their real friends. Which isn't so bad, except they also expect everyone ELSE to act as if they were in the anime.
Mr. Overly Proud of his Character
He spent days pouring through the books, studying the feats, etc etc, and then he goes and rolls the PERFECT stats, and so winds up, legally, with his dream character. Great. Now you will feel guilty if anything bad ever happens to that character.
The Tavern Patron
Screw dungeons and treasures. This guy would rather sit in the tavern all day, starting barfights, playing cards, and causing general mischief. A variant of...
The Hooligan (Or, Chaotic Stupid)
Why take 30 seconds buying gear at standard price when you can knock out the shopkeep, steal his 30 silver coins from his lockbox and take what you need for free? Why stop and eat food when you can slaughter all the pigs in town and cook up your own bacon? Why remain civilized when you can reduce any quaint village into a smoldering pile of chaotic tragedy?!
(I saved this for last because I used to be guilty of this. I see now how awfully distracting it is playing a Chaotic Stupid character.)
In fact, right now, in our current campaign, I'm the anime guy. Albiet a lighter version of him.
One of the things we're doing in campaign is assigning accents and real world languages to in universe languages in order to roleplay them.
So rather then "Alright, I'm speaking abyssal now" *goes back to talking in monotone in english" we've got things like celestial being cockney, and draconic being japanese.
Mostly the Draconic=Japanese is out of rebellion against the DM, who has utterly insisted that I, the party monk, come up with 'cool' monk kata names, like frog eats fly long way, or goat stands steadfast.
I'm a monk. not a bloody zodiac warrior. I'm not using those crappy ass names.
Not when-THIS HAND OF MINE BURNS WITH AN AWESOME POWEEEEER! ITS LOUD ROAR TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! is available.
Though, to be fair, I don't expect people to react as though we're in an anime. And fortunately, half the party is at the very least familiar with it- one of the guys is obsessed with Kamen Rider, another aspect of japanese TV, for instance.
So it's interesting.
We've also had a mastermind type guy- sometimes the ranger fits this category too. In either case, their plans invariably depend on thematic tropes and the assumption that everyone will act exactly like they expect.
It fails more often then it works, except when we're dealing with the undead.
it's quite fun to play the mary sue taglong token loli/mysterious waif. (i only do it once in a while. the DM makes a lot of sickminded "Get A donkey" jokes when i do that.) (i sometimes throw in a bit of staff chick or black magician girl, posibily mahou shoujo. expect her weapon of choice, assuming she has free proficiency to be a sabre. [rapier stats, but change damage to slashing or piercing as per dagger. uses rapier proficiency] no rapier proficiency equals collapsable 3 sectioned quarterstaff) i don't expect the group to do it also. i just do it alone.
Um... Did you actually have one of these in your group.....
I actually did not, but I remember being immensely disturbed by that one thing on another site that some fellow posted where a freakishly large amount of people came to his session and acted like total perverts, the one with that despicable "Fat Nasty" fellow. I thought of this as somewhat of a favour to the other DnDers around here to post this, kind of like a "never again" statement. After reading that, I needed some serious "brain bleaching" or so the TV Tropes article would say.
Opinions differ on the inclusion of firearms in D&D, and for the Gunphile or Gunphobe, only theirs matters. The Gunphile insists on playing a Pistol Pete regardless of campaign, and will drag out whatever gun chart he can find to make his point. The Gunphobe is horrified at any suggestion of firearms in a D&D setting, and treats their mention in any D&D as sacriligeous. Milder Gunphobes may tolerate the arquebus, which typically has far too many drawbacks to be a first-choice weapon.
Guilty of gunphobia, I've since gotten much better, in my opinion.
it's quite fun to play the mary sue taglong token loli/mysterious waif. ... (i sometimes throw in a bit of staff chick or black magician girl, posibily mahou shoujo.
TV Tropes has clearly ruined your life as well.
The Calculator Required!
Math is the bane of my existance =(
TV Tropes has clearly ruined your life as well.
you can say that.
I actually did not, but I remember being immensely disturbed by that one thing on another site that some fellow posted where a freakishly large amount of people came to his session and acted like total perverts, the one with that despicable "Fat Nasty" fellow. I thought of this as somewhat of a favour to the other DnDers around here to post this, kind of like a "never again" statement. After reading that, I needed some serious "brain bleaching" or so the TV Tropes article would say.
Do you have the link to that thread, by the way?
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"I Loves My Miniatures"
Not that the minis he paints are a bad edition to the game, but this player tends to miss important points because he's oggling the latest minis on the wall.
(I used to do this, and I did miss a number of key points because of it)
The System Fanboy
Ugh...this player repeatedly whines about the inconsistencies of the D20 system and insists another system would be so much better for carrying the story. He'll rail on about how D&D is so flawed despite playing in your game, and heaven forbid that you suggest that D20 Modern and its varients are any good. Usually a World of Darkness fan, but I've known at least one GURPS fan like this. These kinds of players are one of the reasons why I haven't been able to run a game of D20 Modern yet.
The Crusader
This player champions some cause IRL - feminism, gay rights, atheism, vegetarianism, etc - and simply cannot let it go in-game. Every chat with an NPC is an excuse to push their barrow. Pathologically incapable, as a player or DM, of depicting characters with different values to them.
AWOL/MIA
Their character sheet is always there. Just not the player. Typically mentions they can't make it 'at the last minute'.
Loot Goggles
This trait can rapidly infect a whole party. The player is quite oblivious to any NPC's intended purpose as an ally or neutral noncombatant, seeing only the loot and XP they'll get for a surprise attack. Loot Goggles players force a DM to stat out every NPC just in case the PCs try to kill or rob it.
Not On the Menu
It doesn't matter whether you're running a strict three-books-only campaign, or have a pile of supplements up to the ceiling. The NOtM player will insist on running something that the allowed material doesn't cover. "Just check out my homebrewed..." could be his battle cry.
TMI
Related to the overly horny players whose PCs try to jump anything that moves, the TMI player delights in describing their intimate encounters with NPCs (or PCs) far past the point of everyone else's comfort. Likely to accuse anyone who protests of being a prude and lacking open-mindedness.
Respec On Demand
This player keeps wanting to reinvent their PC wholesale at the drop of a hat - for example, they get a new sourcebook, read an Insider article, or just have a 'spiffy' new idea. Any training rules, such as those in 4e or in 3.5's PHB2, never work quickly enough.
And I've been the Not on the Menu guy to a minor degree, but usually when trying to make a good character using incomplete booksets.
ie: the DM has some of the completes- complete warrior, complete psionic, but NOT complete arcane, or any of the others. So there was that.
Also, in general, my party is rapidly devolving into loot goggles folks.
Me (The Voice of Reason): Once we finish this mission, the townsfolk will likely reward us for saving them all from life as undead.
Them (Loot goggles): I don't wanna waaaaait. I wanna loot. pwease?
Me: Wait a second.... you guys.... you all have... discernable anatomy right? And there's five of you... and I'm a level six monk... I've got a question. Would you feel as looting inclined without your... dare I say it... gear?
My operational threat is that anyone who tries this **** gets a stunning fist to the face and I grab all their **** and book it. It's working out pretty well thusfar.
Do you have the link to that thread, by the way?
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"I Loves My Miniatures"
Not that the minis he paints are a bad edition to the game, but this player tends to miss important points because he's oggling the latest minis on the wall.
(I used to do this, and I did miss a number of key points because of it)
The System Fanboy
Ugh...this player repeatedly whines about the inconsistencies of the D20 system and insists another system would be so much better for carrying the story. He'll rail on about how D&D is so flawed despite playing in your game, and heaven forbid that you suggest that D20 Modern and its varients are any good. Usually a World of Darkness fan, but I've known at least one GURPS fan like this. These kinds of players are one of the reasons why I haven't been able to run a game of D20 Modern yet.
Someone posted the link on this thread, but it won't let me access it.
This guy shows up every single game. He belives he is a good Rper. But he's always confused about his character abilities, forgets to add important bonuses and botches every RP scene the DM prepares so his character could shine.
After 1 hour he starts staring at the wall completely engrossed in his «mind's eye» version of the game. The only thing he does not forget to do is gorge himself on all the snack other players brought to the table...
8: The one with questionable sanity.
She's the one who actually enjoys playing a char torturing people, and who get kicks out of using the BoVD material. Tends to wear black, but not always...
Had that. Played a rapist in a group with 10 year-old players. She went pretty quickly...
Had that. Played a rapist in a group with 10 year-old players. She went pretty quickly...
Holy crap. Even before high school, my group had decided to outlaw sex from our games. The few times seduction was an necessity, it was glossed over thusly: "You have successfully seduced the spy with your diplomacy, now make a gather intel check to see how much info you can get away with."
I find pervy D&D abhorrant.
Anyway there's also...
Sir QuotesALot
Don't expect a single peep of originality from this character. Every letter of dialogue uttered in character is from a popular movie, book, or tv show. This leaves everyone wondering which is sadder: That so many quotes have been memorized, or that Sir QuotesALot can't speak an original sentence.
They're the character who takes Chaotic to a whole new level, with the understanding that no rules can bind them, and no prison can hold them. They'll kill that plot dependent NPC if they think his **** could fetch a good price on Elfbay.
But it's not because of loot goggles- oh no. It's because they're chaotic. Yeah. they'll do anything if it'll help the party. Yeah. Uh-huh. Suuuuuuure.
The Only Sensible Man - Not necessarily one of the worst players to have in a game, but often not a very 'fun' player. I put 'fun' in airquotes because in any campaign that features The Only Sensible Man (or Woman), everyone else is either nuts, or Chaotic Screw You Guys, or Loot Goggles. Often seen as a downer, the Only Sensible Man tends to have realistic expectations, and wants the party to do the right thing, even when their minds are clouded by that shiny apparatus in the rich guy's basement. He's the guy who suggests feasible battle plans, and often takes the diplomacy spotlight, even if he's not a Cha based class. (ie: Monk) Eventually, you'll have to start worrying about him, because he'll stop talking and start twitching. And then he'll show up for the next session, but rather then sitting with the rest of you, he'll be sitting on a chair of the same type that the DM has, over by the DM.
And then he'll bonk the bonk out of your bonking party. Speaking from personal experience, if you're a caster, the last thing you want is the formerly allied party member Monk to decide you're all chaotic evil (becase, yanno, you've all been acting chaotic evil) and take it upon himself to all bring you in.
Especially if he's got ranks in UMD, preptime, knows your assorted weaknesses, and somehow gets to act before you do. And you're a wizard. And he's smiling inanely at this point, and as you're rolling combat effects, you're wondering why all those wonderful magicks that should make you a veritable god just aren't working out so good. Or where your spell component pouch/belt went. Or where the AMF came from.
I speak from personal experience. Don't **** off The Only Sensible Man.
The Chaotic Screw You Guys - often in 'Screw you guys, Imma lootin' them dry' or 'Screw you guys, Imma getting drunk' flavour. This is the player who, while his alignment says 'chaotic good' doesn't quite seem to get what 'good' entails, and spends all his time stealing (evil), getting drunk and trying to force himself upon goats (Hilarious, but technically evil), engaging town guards in swordplay who are merely trying to talk him into putting his pants back on (Evil, and moreover stupid), and going back to the scene of a murder to loot the corpses of their valuables before the authorities and/or I get there (Just in bad taste)
They're the character who takes Chaotic to a whole new level, with the understanding that no rules can bind them, and no prison can hold them. They'll kill that plot dependent NPC if they think his **** could fetch a good price on Elfbay.
But it's not because of loot goggles- oh no. It's because they're chaotic. Yeah. they'll do anything if it'll help the party. Yeah. Uh-huh. Suuuuuuure.
Is Chaotic Good the New Chaotic stupid?
Is Chaotic Good the New Chaotic stupid?
Chaotic anything tends to get treated as Chaotic Stupid.
I just fixed one of these. He was a Human Paladin that *hid* behind the Wizard, and let the Rogue and Cleric handle the melee attacks, while missing with his Longbow, and having NO Ranged powers, because they weren't "cool" enough.
-Needless to say, he plays a Ranger now ^_^
Chaotic anything tends to get treated as Chaotic Stupid.
darn.
i hate it when DM's have to ban Chaotic alignments just because of one "Chaotic Stupid player". at least i can play Chaotic Neutral without wearing Loot Goggles. i appreciate nice equipment. but i don't kill innocent people for thier stuff. i don't go killing every newborn baby for experience points either.
Damn Loot Goggles.
what about the some of us who actually play chaotic neutral without the need to kill or loot (and possibly eat) babies for XP.
only a Vile Munchkin Loot Goggled Chaotic Stupid WoW fanboy would kill every baby in the city, loot them, and eat them. for just that extra experirnece point. as well as 1-3 Copper pieces worth of loot.
heres advice to the chaotic ones.
Don't kill babies. (even the kobold ones)
"Kill an entire town for loot and XP? Congratulations: You get no XP from killing innocents who were not a challenge and your loot is pretty much worthless as no one is now willing to trade with you, you f-ing psychopath. Oh, you're now also a wanted criminal, and several parties of adventurers, some up to twice your level, are looking for YOU for the loot and XP. And no, just because they're NPCs doesn't mean they're not going to be "competitively built" (read: optimized out the wazoo). Now are you gonna keep that crap up at this table?"
Personally, I replaced Chaotic with an alignment called "-ish." :P
Want to be good but not exactly a goody two shoes? You're Goodish.
It doesn't quite work well to replace Chaotic Evil though, but we tend to just call that "psychopath."
The Cowardly Defender
I just fixed one of these. He was a Human Paladin that *hid* behind the Wizard, and let the Rogue and Cleric handle the melee attacks, while missing with his Longbow, and having NO Ranged powers, because they weren't "cool" enough.
-Needless to say, he plays a Ranger now ^_^
I had one of these in 3E. He played a Duskblade, with the extra feats needed to allow him to cast in full-plate. He also tended to roll well on hit points (we generally rerolled 1s), had good CON, and focused on mechanical bonuses on his magic items (he had three pieces with +AC by the time he was level 4), so it was a given that he was the tank, right?
Right?
Cue the longbow (he's an elf, after all), Khelgar's Firebolt (or whatever the full name of that spell from PHII was), and letting the cleric (second highest AC and second highest HP) take everything to the face for the first round or so. Thankfully, we've mostly cured him of that behavior after switching to Swordmage in 4E (and after one of our last 3E sessions where the cleric nearly died from trying to tank three STR-optimized orc fighters at once).
Plays a character with a strange name. The name may be a double-meaning (may or may not be sexual innuendo), or simply difficult to pronounce. Fond of non-human races to justify his weird name. More annoying categories of the weird name PC player are the ones who choose real life people for their PCs.
I am quite guilty of this, nobody could pronounce my dragonborn paladin's name, which was Shedinir for you curious cats. It is pronounced as if you're telling your doctor that there is a shed in your ear. A weird mnemonic? Yes, but it got every one of the players pronouncing my name right.
The Weird Name PC Player
Plays a character with a strange name. The name may be a double-meaning (may or may not be sexual innuendo), or simply difficult to pronounce. Fond of non-human races to justify his weird name. More annoying categories of the weird name PC player are the ones who choose real life people for their PCs.
I am quite guilty of this, nobody could pronounce my dragonborn paladin's name, which was Shedinir for you curious cats. It is pronounced as if you're telling your doctor that there is a shed in your ear. A weird mnemonic? Yes, but it got every one of the players pronouncing my name right.
i use wierd names too.
The Weird Name PC Player
Plays a character with a strange name. The name may be a double-meaning (may or may not be sexual innuendo), or simply difficult to pronounce. Fond of non-human races to justify his weird name. More annoying categories of the weird name PC player are the ones who choose real life people for their PCs.
I am quite guilty of this, nobody could pronounce my dragonborn paladin's name, which was Shedinir for you curious cats. It is pronounced as if you're telling your doctor that there is a shed in your ear. A weird mnemonic? Yes, but it got every one of the players pronouncing my name right.
I do that sometimes, especially if I give my character a Mesopotamian name. A number of months ago, I was in a Dark Sun game and was playing a fighter named Larsat (based on a Sumerian City called Larsa). Needless to say, the way I was pronouncing the name made it sound similar to Lestat, so the DM kept on referring to me as "fang boy."
i use wierd names too.
You spelled weird incorrectly.
You know the one. He sits at the end of the table, goes on and on loudly about what he's doing, and whenever anyone suggests that he quiets down, or that his character is going to get killed if he keeps antagonizing the three BBEG caliber enemies in the room- whenever that happens, he goes nuts. He swears, he makes Bigby's obscene gesture, and he goes on and on. To the point of starting a fight that he clearly cannot win- especially when the DM's in story mode.
Moreover, he's the one you all sort of want to throw out, but for whatever reason can't.
The 'Rolls for effect' Guy
This is the one who rolls whenever he gets an idea, then tells the DM "How it's going to be". He'll use dice rolls to try and settle an argument, or convince the other party members that he's innocent of something he's clearly done that everyone knows he's done OOC. Moreover, he'll often get awesome results on these random rolls, and try to get the DM to let him use them. And he's always rolling- so whenever he fails, he just rolls until it's good.
Ran into one in my party- the Chaotic Stupid Rogue. Mostly I didn't really care that he was doing it- it just slowed the game down a bit, but didn't really matter.
It was when he started fudging his rolls that I decided to watch every one, and announce loudly whenever he (often) critical failed.
He, shall we say, reacted badly. Though in all honesty I was the only one left conscious at the end of the session.
The 'Rolls for effect' Guy
Lol we have one of these guy. Its funny a lot, but can get really anoying.
The Only Sensible Man
These guys make awsome NPCs, especially with some of the crazier groups around. Sort of the "Chief Inspector" with an adventuring part of Clouseaus.
The "I'm and underdog so I'll pretend I don't care" guy
These guys are a pain because they probably really want to have fun, but they are a back-of-the-crowd type or just the youngest guy in the group and so always get squashed when they try and compete. Often begin to think they are "bad" at the game. Eventually leads to an apathetic attitude as a means of self defense, the "I dont want people to make fun of me so I'll never invest anything".
The problem with these guys is because they get defensive, you really can't help them...
Thankfully, none in my current group
this is the guy who doesn't care what you say. whether it be helpful suggestion, or a simple vital question, such as if you are the cleric, and you need to know the individual's hit points. he muffles your speech with interruption. he will most likely be a rules lawyer, saying the rules don't allow said suggestion to work, even though it is fully legal, or not covered positively or negatively. this suggestion may acutally have made the encounter easier, assuming it was no rejected. they will try and highjack the rails of the campaign. they are rude, and disrespectful, especially to those they beleive are less experienced than they. there will be a chance that they will have minmaxing knowledge. if you seem to have less experience than them, they will stifle your speech, to where you cannot roleplay. you will most likely be less talkative as a result, especially when you have a chance to shine. they will literally run your character from the back seat. really annoying if they use particular cliche steriotypes you try to avoid. they also beleive race/class fluff is set in stone.
Show Me the book
this is the dungeon master who no matter how much you show him the reserve feat rules. stating it's an at will supernatural ability. he tries to apply spell resistance, or spell slot usage. at random occasions, though he didin't do it before. he looked at the book 5 times. the only spells you do not have to repeatedly show him are, fireball and magic missle. you have to explain the formula for your attack bonus and armor class every time he asks. he propbably has Nippophobia, (fear of anime, ninja, katana and any other part of japanese culture), Fear of any non vancian magical ability, (Bo9S, XPH, MoI, UA). and fear of houserules besides point buy and book bans. rather than banning a particular "broken" legal class, he bans the whole book. most likely the broken class only looks good on paper, performing horribly in play. he'd rather reduce bookkeeping by banning entire books, to the point you have to play a twinked out sorcerer, wizard, cleric or druid to even perform. actually, dungeonscape has no power creep. he doesn't want to realize that the 3 most broken classes are in the players handbook. even though he bans oriental characters, he still allows monks, which are oriental by design. but he will probably have an oriental continent just for the guy who wants to play a monk. but he doesn't allow other adventurer types from that continent. whether it be ninja who follow every rule a normal dual shortsword weilding rogue does, and are thus rogues with 2 shortswords, or a samurai who is nothing more than a bastard sword wielding fighter, and thus is just a normal fighter with a bastard sword. if you want to name a character, you have to look at his incomplete list of baby names which was compiled online or clipped from a magazine, and is probably full of non suiting character names. (i.e. who the heck names a Kunoichi "Susan Avalon"?.)
The Arrogant Leader
this is the guy who doesn't care what you say. whether it be helpful suggestion, or a simple vital question, such as if you are the cleric, and you need to know the individual's hit points. he muffles your speech with interruption. he will most likely be a rules lawyer, saying the rules don't allow said suggestion to work, even though it is fully legal, or not covered positively or negatively. this suggestion may acutally have made the encounter easier, assuming it was no rejected. they will try and highjack the rails of the campaign. they are rude, and disrespectful, especially to those they beleive are less experienced than they. there will be a chance that they will have minmaxing knowledge. if you seem to have less experience than them, they will stifle your speech, to where you cannot roleplay. you will most likely be less talkative as a result, especially when you have a chance to shine. they will literally run your character from the back seat. really annoying if they use particular cliche steriotypes you try to avoid. they also beleive race/class fluff is set in stone.
Show Me the book
this is the dungeon master who no matter how much you show him the reserve feat rules. stating it's an at will supernatural ability. he tries to apply spell resistance, or spell slot usage. at random occasions, though he didin't do it before. he looked at the book 5 times. the only spells you do not have to repeatedly show him are, fireball and magic missle. you have to explain the formula for your attack bonus and armor class every time he asks. he propbably has Nippophobia, (fear of anime, ninja, katana and any other part of japanese culture), Fear of any non vancian magical ability, (Bo9S, XPH, MoI, UA). and fear of houserules besides point buy and book bans. rather than banning a particular "broken" legal class, he bans the whole book. most likely the broken class only looks good on paper, performing horribly in play. he'd rather reduce bookkeeping by banning entire books, to the point you have to play a twinked out sorcerer, wizard, cleric or druid to even perform. actually, dungeonscape has no power creep. he doesn't want to realize that the 3 most broken classes are in the players handbook. even though he bans oriental characters, he still allows monks, which are oriental by design. but he will probably have an oriental continent just for the guy who wants to play a monk. but he doesn't allow other adventurer types from that continent. whether it be ninja who follow every rule a normal dual shortsword weilding rogue does, and are thus rogues with 2 shortswords, or a samurai who is nothing more than a bastard sword wielding fighter, and thus is just a normal fighter with a bastard sword. if you want to name a character, you have to look at his incomplete list of baby names which was compiled online or clipped from a magazine, and is probably full of non suiting character names. (i.e. who the heck names a Kunoichi "Susan Avalon"?.)
Sounds like your speaking from experience?
Is exactly what his name is, an assembly line for characters. He likely possesses the character builder or another thing of that sort that lets him churn out characters like nobody's business. This can be one of the best players because he's always prepared for a character's death, can be the worst when he gets bored of characters as quickly as he makes them and starts killing of his PCs on a regular basis to send in a newbie.
While a fighter might just bash open a door, The Rube will construct a device that will deploy another device, which in turn will build a third device that will, when activated, open the door. All this will take far more time then it takes the Fighter to open the door, and basically accomplish nothing at all.
And yet, the Rube persists. He'll take the most complicated path to defeat any problem, relying on the idea that the more complicated a path he takes, the less chance there is of something to go wrong... wait...
The Anti-Corist: Scenario: Your DM is running a core only game for 3.5, but is also dipping into a bunch of 3.0 supplements and third party material. He's connived the Anti-Corist into running a class outside his usual experience, and naturally the guy is chafing. He's discovered that his monk sucks, or that his blaster keeps failing his spell DCs, or that his cleric picked the wrong domains. It's a learning experience sure, but the DM won't let his character die, so he can't roll up a new one.
So he laments over how imba the Core books are, and spends most of his time going through his own collection of books trying to find a way to improve his character. Often to the exclusion of all else, which tends to affect the rest of the party- especially if they're comfortable in the roles- rather badly.
Now, the Anti-Corist isn't necessarily a bad sort of player to have in your game, but if your DM is insistent on Core (and those third party supplements he so likes) then you might find the two of them at ends, as the Anti-Corist tries to introduce the DM to more material, and the DM tries to get the Anti-Corist to just run a straight archetypical character.
The Index: This guy likes characters with a massive intelligence score, and probably runs a heavily optimized Wizard. He's got a comprehensive memory of all the best spells, feats, and the like, or at least keeps all the respective CO handbooks bookmarked and reads up on them regularly. While book keeping can be a boon to any party, the Index takes this particularly far, and will often correct the DM, argue specifications and feat triggering events with him, and generally rules lawyer. But not in self-promoting way- he'll just want everyone to have the 'right' interpretation of the rules, which usually includes all the latest erratta that the DM hasn't heard about or bothered reading, and probably won't include in the setting anyways.
Moreover, the Index will often attempt to run the other PCs as though he were their player. The ultimate in backseat driver, he'll metagame with those players, and argue with them until they do exactly what he thinks they should do. When the Index gets this far, it really is time that the DM either kick him out of the game, or tell him that his luck's up.
Mister Character: Mister Character is the guy who really gets into roleplaying. He's got an intricately crafted character, an intricate backstory, and spends a lot of time practicing his monologing. Most of the time this tends to slow down the group, but he's great at stringing words together, and if the DM's Story-Happy, then he'll love Mister Character. Morover, this guy likes to set up plots. Rather then wait for the DM to hand him anything, he'll write up arcing storylines, and lengthy treatises on places the campaign can go. In fact, at times you might wonder why he isn't DMing this game himself.
The problem with Mister Character is how much work he invests. He'll often spend way, way too much time working on the fluff, and not enough time on the mechanics. He'll have so much investment in the character that it makes it difficult to kill his char off without feeling like a dick. And in comparison, he makes all the other PCs feel like cheapskates for only making up a name and a backstory like "Father was a blacksmith, mother was a dragon" or "I'm totally the last prince of the Keebler Elves."
The freakHad this guy in my group. Not only was his PC just weird, even moreso than mine, he wanted his character to be able to do things like change shape and have sex with people and all this other weird stuff. I mean like really weird.
The backstabber Had this more in a GM though. Tells me to my face everything is fine but then later kicks me out. Doesn't communicate. Also had players like this too. These are the kind of guys who are nice to your face but just want the group to be certain people.
The lazy noob Doesn't know the rules and won't even bother to learn them. Will not learn about the setting or his class or race. Usually is also guilty of basically RPing himself.
The I'm only here cause there is nothing else to do guy This person may or may not know the rules but is only at game cause he has nothing else to do and does not commit, skips out on games with NO warning at all even if his PC is very involved in what's going on.
The look at me I'm a female gamer Always plays totally hot PCs, acts all shy and demure and attention getting. Gets upset if attention isn't always on her. Acts like a general airhead. I have no problem with female gamers, just ones who act like this
The bully Had this guy in a group. He figures out the rules and makes the uberest PC he can and then uses him to force other PCs to do what he wants. Doesn't RP very well. Probably just plays a more macho bully version of himself.
The RPing munchkinA more clever version of munchkin who hides his cheesey rules loops behind a screen of good RP and backstory but who secretly wants to take over the game. Very common in LARPs.
the mocking loser this gamer is 30 years old, lives with his parents, doesn't have a job, and has zero contact with the opposite sex, but always tries to put fellow gamers down.
the sleeper this poor guy has a sleeping disorder that causes him to pass out during stressful/emotional moments. He's a nice guy but having to wake him up whenever its his turn gets annoying.
The Druggie
"Yeah man, but have you ever fought a Beholder... on weed?" This player shows up high as a kite, and is really only useful for eating all the nachos and urinating on the cat. Unfortunately, D&D is the only aspect of his life where he can succeed and not feel like a total loser.
An extension of the 'Rolls for effect' guy, this is the one who rolls for everything, but immediately grabs or offsets the die when he crit fails, and then puts on an act as though he didn't roll. Usually infuriates the other players when he gets away with it, and gets angry all to hell when the other players point out his antics to the DM.
The 'What dice is that?' guy
This guy has a mental disconnect when it comes to die shapes. You'll be trying to finish up the last encounter, and he'll need to roll 3d6... and have a GIGANTIC PILE of d6s in front of him. I'm talking about like thirty of them.
And he won't be able to find any of them. He'll look back and forth, and up and down, and left and right, and won't be able to pick a D6 out of a table with NOTHING ELSE.
At least, not until someone points this fact out to him, at which point "Hey, the table's covered in d6s!" becomes a common occurence.
This disconnect is usually with the most common dice type- and usually the one he uses the most in any given encounter. It won't normally happen when he's rolling normal damage, but any time he needs more then one die, all the dice on the table turn into apples or something.
Show Me the book
this is the dungeon master who no matter how much you show him the reserve feat rules. stating it's an at will supernatural ability. he tries to apply spell resistance, or spell slot usage. at random occasions, though he didin't do it before. he looked at the book 5 times. the only spells you do not have to repeatedly show him are, fireball and magic missle. you have to explain the formula for your attack bonus and armor class every time he asks. he propbably has Nippophobia, (fear of anime, ninja, katana and any other part of japanese culture), Fear of any non vancian magical ability, (Bo9S, XPH, MoI, UA). and fear of houserules besides point buy and book bans. rather than banning a particular "broken" legal class, he bans the whole book. most likely the broken class only looks good on paper, performing horribly in play. he'd rather reduce bookkeeping by banning entire books, to the point you have to play a twinked out sorcerer, wizard, cleric or druid to even perform. actually, dungeonscape has no power creep. he doesn't want to realize that the 3 most broken classes are in the players handbook. even though he bans oriental characters, he still allows monks, which are oriental by design. but he will probably have an oriental continent just for the guy who wants to play a monk. but he doesn't allow other adventurer types from that continent. whether it be ninja who follow every rule a normal dual shortsword weilding rogue does, and are thus rogues with 2 shortswords, or a samurai who is nothing more than a bastard sword wielding fighter, and thus is just a normal fighter with a bastard sword. if you want to name a character, you have to look at his incomplete list of baby names which was compiled online or clipped from a magazine, and is probably full of non suiting character names. (i.e. who the heck names a Kunoichi "Susan Avalon"?.)
We have one of these in our gaming group.... Thankfully, she hasn't run anything for almost a year. You forgot to add that they will often have been playing since Gary Gygax ran Gencon out of a basement. (I actualy live about 15-20mins away from where he lived)
year the tank is always up front and pick enything he need...
and the rest of the party only get what he dossend need....
looter-here a magic ring...
newcomer-yeee my first magic item ^^ WOOT +2 AC NICE!!!
looter- yeah.. try and see my +4 armor and 2 other ring of +3ac and fire resistance... of and issend my boots of speed aweasrome.... but i realy like my magic Axe... and my tiger head shield that can cast Fear........ damm GM why do i never get a Amulet!?
This is the guy who embodies a lot of negative tropes.
1 - He makes noob mistakes despite having played since 4th came out.
2 - He's an idiot. He charges for the big orc who crushes him.
3 - He doesn't know what his abilities do.
4 - When he remembers what his abilities do, he tries to get me to rewind the game five turns.
5 - He can't do basic addition and gets offended, making vague excuses of some disorder, if we chide him on his inability to do 3 + 7 at age 18.
6 - He has to be reminded when it's his turn
7 - He takes too damn long to roll the dice
8 - He takes too damn long to tell people when he's done, but gets mad when people try and take their turn
9 - He goes MONKEY RAGE whenever he gets attacked
10 - Smart monsters using intelligent tactics is apparently "DM Bias" for him.
11 - Badmouths the DM and doesn't stop even after he gets hit by a large number of lightning bolts.
12 - Has characters commit suicide because he "is bored of them".
13 - Whines when he is losing, loves the game when he isn't.
14 - Reads the Monster Manual and then accuses me of cheating when I change the monster's stats/abilities.
All in one person. What do you call that? The Catastrophe?
We had this one dude, a morbidly obese guy, who kept saying "DING" whenever something sounded g@y, etc. We voted him off the island.
Another negative player archetype is the kind of player that reads the feat/spell/item chart description, and bases everything off that, as opposed to reading the entire description and then when you tell him about that, he just goes "Wait, what?" And spends the next twenty minutes sulking and complaining about this while trying to find a replaceable feat/spell/item in the middle of combat. When you tell him to hurry up, he just sulks and says hold on, we're not in a rush, when all of us are barely constrained in jumping out of our chairs and playing his character for him. (This is due to the fact that our DM is a big fan of "murder mysteries" that we try to solve, so the plot requires a lot more personal thought than we're generally used to.)
This person insists that the female gamer could not possibly want to be there for the game itself and is only there because of her significant other or to pick up guys. It amazes me how some people (and that includes some women) don't think females would want to/can game. I'm a woman and have years of experience with dressing, feeding, and making choices (like what hobbies to pick up) for myself!
I have actually argued with a non-gamer female about the fact that I actually go to the game...in order to game...and not because there are guys there or because I'm too broke to get drunk that night...which brings me to my next player type.
The User
This one thinks it's hilarious to get smashed/high/messed up and disrupt the game in whatever special manner they have. A serious downer for the rest of the group. I have played with someone who frequently gets loaded and when that happens, the rest of us literally just sit back and watch him play his game until he leaves and we can resume with the group game.
The Misogynist
This person insists that the female gamer could not possibly want to be there for the game itself and is only there because of her significant other or to pick up guys. It amazes me how some people (and that includes some women) don't think females would want to/can game. I'm a woman and have years of experience with dressing, feeding, and making choices (like what hobbies to pick up) for myself!
I have actually argued with a non-gamer female about the fact that I actually go to the game...in order to game...and not because there are guys there or because I'm too broke to get drunk that night...which brings me to my next player type.
The User
This one thinks it's hilarious to get smashed/high/messed up and disrupt the game in whatever special manner they have. A serious downer for the rest of the group. I have played with someone who frequently gets loaded and when that happens, the rest of us literally just sit back and watch him play his game until he leaves and we can resume with the group game.
I have been blessed not to have to deal with the latter and I have a varient on the former.
The Girl- Not to be sexist or anything, but this is uniquely female due to the overabundance of males in our hobby. The girl IS there just because guys are there. The Girl tends to be on the NOT attractive side, in either looks, personality, or depressingly common, both, which is why she's had to stoop so 'low' to get a date. Then acts shocked when none of the guys there are interested in her.
5 - He can't do basic addition and gets offended, making vague excuses of some disorder, if we chide him on his inability to do 3 + 7 at age 18.
He is 18 and cannot come up with 11 as the correct answer? That is pretty sad.
:D
The Misogynist
This person insists that the female gamer could not possibly want to be there for the game itself and is only there because of her significant other or to pick up guys. It amazes me how some people (and that includes some women) don't think females would want to/can game. I'm a woman and have years of experience with dressing, feeding, and making choices (like what hobbies to pick up) for myself!
I have actually argued with a non-gamer female about the fact that I actually go to the game...in order to game...and not because there are guys there or because I'm too broke to get drunk that night...which brings me to my next player type.
I have never played with people like this, but I know that type. They think that if a waitress smiles at them that they want them!
The User
This one thinks it's hilarious to get smashed/high/messed up and disrupt the game in whatever special manner they have. A serious downer for the rest of the group. I have played with someone who frequently gets loaded and when that happens, the rest of us literally just sit back and watch him play his game until he leaves and we can resume with the group game.
I had a player like that in a group once. After the player showed up drunk twice we simply gave him an ultimatum, either he showed up sober and ready to play or we would boot him from the game. He chose booze over the game.
Fighter (female): I'm going to search that body, you take the other one after we kill it. ((I'm going to attack the other one, ))
Thief (Male): OK! ((I'm going to search the body she wanted to search, but can I roll a sleight of hand to see if I can do it without her noticing while she fights?))
Fighter: ((You son of a *****))
DM: Roll, thief.
Thief rolls ungodly high number
Fighter rolls with a negative cuz she's in combat and auto-fails.
Thief runs off with the good loot and hides it in bag of holding.
Fighter: You ALWAYS take the good stuff
Thief: That's because you always spend my paychecks!
Fighter: .....huh?
Thief: I want to hit on the bar maid. What does she look like?
DM: She's a hot blonde
Thief: Yeah, I'm gonna check her out and approach her
Brunette Fighter: ((What, you're just gonna be friends with *HER* too?))
Thief: She's probably better in bed.
Yeah. It's rough.
I may be new to dnd and I dont mind having any mistakes pointed out to me as long as its in a polite manner. But no one has the right to tell me or anyone for that matter anything about what they do unless its the DM. Thats just my personal rule and what I think. (Points to sig) :P
The whole party decides on an edition, except for one person. That person then proceeds to whine.
DM: It's a bag of devouring. Roll your save.
Player: Total of 8.
DM: You are sucked into an extradimensional space and as you are rapidly digested, your body is scattered across the infinite space of that dimension. You'll need to roll a new character.
Player: THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED in 4e!
or
DM: You need x more XP to level that class due to the multiclassing penalty. It's your lowest class of the three you took.
Player: Yeah, well in 2.0, you could dual class and level both classes at once. 2.0 is better. let's play 2.0.
or
Player: I DONT CARE IF I AGREED to FIRST EDITION. YOU KILLED ME WITH A HOUSECAT. CLAW CLAW BITE RAKE IS BROKEN. I WANT TO ROLL A CAT CHARACTER.
etc, etc.
Player: I DONT CARE IF I AGREED to FIRST EDITION. YOU KILLED ME WITH A HOUSECAT. CLAW CLAW BITE RAKE IS BROKEN. I WANT TO ROLL A CAT CHARACTER.
If that is true, I'll play a Level 1 Siamese Cat :D .
I want a soundtrack IRL.
And now, you can!
They're selling those things on ThinkGeek.
If that is true, I'll play a Level 1 Siamese Cat :D .
Tis true. In First Ed, a housecat had like 3 HP, but had 2xclaw, 1x bite, and 1x rake attack. It did a minimum of 4 damage per turn if all hit (and with a +7 from dex and racial, it was quite likely at that level) and that's enough to kill an early level mage (wizard and sorcerer weren't separated yet). Since commoners were level 0 characters with 2-6 HP.....a rabid housecat could completely demolish a major city.
This one hates being told what to do. He'll look at a plot hook, consider it for all of twelve seconds, and walk off in the complete opposite direction. Often rolls chaotic, random characters just so he can justify his actions of rolling the scatter die from Warhammer 40,000 and walking in that direction. Favorite classes as casters.
We have one of these in our group. His latest character is a 21 Warmage that determines just about every action randomly. Even when he got to the Aspirant's Plane (Epic-land), his first course of action was to pick a direction and walk that way for 6 hours straight. Lucky for the other, more serious players, the DM finally snapped and decided to send him a level 32 encounter that he can't escape from. Dimensional anchor to stop him from teleporting, and dominate person to keep him in control.
"Oh, crap. I know what that is..."
Knows the Monster Manual (All of them) by heart. When the DM starts describing a monster, he immediately informs the party of its special abilities, its grapple score, and its AC. Has no idea that there's a difference between Player Knowledge and PC Knowledge. Usually gets annoyed when the DM decided to cook up some homebrew monsters for the party to fight, only because he has no clue what they do.
You might have to wait for the DM to tell you whether or not your roll succeeded or failed, but The Oracle is two steps ahead. In fact, not only does The Oracle not need to tell the DM what they rolled, but they go ahead and explain what happens based on their roll.
"Heh. Ok, apparently, my character had no problem climbing that wall. He can make it up in about 20 minutes, barely breaking a sweat."
or
"Oops! My character trips over the wire and drops his sword, making a loud clattering noise. Oh and if I need to roll a move silently check to see just HOW noisy that was, it turns out it was pretty noisy."
The Oracle Variant: The Skill Jester
Whether they fail or succeed, whatever skill they're using, it's gotta be silly. Succeeded a climb check? "I scamper up the wall humming the theme to Spiderman." Failed a move silently? "My character is obviously flatulent tonight!"
By the end of the night, other players are often grinding their teeth and saying things like "Why can't you just !@#$ing climb the wall like everyone else?!"
Usually a male, this player has bypassed the viewpoint of a character as a person or role to play, and has entered into the hazardous land of "speccing" out. They usually get the specifications planned out on a character after extensive research in common books, and the smarter ones will make sure not to use feats that might be seen as "controversial" in the game, such as Mortalbane or trying to play a Monster Class.
The less intelligent version is far more common.
The impact on gameplay is thus:
1. The player will argue for hours, then whine about it all campaign, if you (as DM) deny him/her one of the feats that made the combo "broken".
2. The player will complain about house rules if they nerf their plan; a prime example is the player who makes a high-dex elf with WF, TWF, and two balanced rapiers who freaks the f*** out when you announce the implementation of weapon durability rules.
3. The player will only play the most recent edition to which they have been exposed, because they know the combos and the edition (being new) has fewer sourcebooks that might introduce rules to break the combo (for instance, someone who refuses to play 3.5 because they know the combo they want in 2.0 and damn near always play what they call "the build")
4. The player will freak out if anything bad happens to the character that affects the build (i.e. the 3.5 box set includes runes that, on a random table, may increase or decrease a stat by +/-2 permanently toward the end of the dungeon. This player will explode if the wrong stat gets buffed, or worse, the right stat gets negged).
5. The player will avoid wound systems, critical systems, fumble systems, and other game modifications that increase risks in combat, because to implement them means at any time, the entire "build" could be invalidated.
"Oh, crap. I know what that is..."
Knows the Monster Manual (All of them) by heart. When the DM starts describing a monster, he immediately informs the party of its special abilities, its grapple score, and its AC. Has no idea that there's a difference between Player Knowledge and PC Knowledge. Usually gets annoyed when the DM decided to cook up some homebrew monsters for the party to fight, only because he has no clue what they do.
I'll admit, I'm a variant of that one.
"Oh crap, I know what that is..." "What is it?" "Don't remember the name, just that I've seen it before and it was bad." "Do you know how to kill it?" "Yes" "How?" "Can't tell you that, watkins." "Bah."
and then the show goes on.
"Oh, crap. I know what that is..."
Knows the Monster Manual (All of them) by heart. When the DM starts describing a monster, he immediately informs the party of its special abilities, its grapple score, and its AC. Has no idea that there's a difference between Player Knowledge and PC Knowledge. Usually gets annoyed when the DM decided to cook up some homebrew monsters for the party to fight, only because he has no clue what they do.
Yup, that's me. It sounds almost as if you were at my last dnd game :P
Although, our group's DM wouldn't be able to keep track of a homebrew monster long enough to actualy use it. And I know the difference between PC and OOC knowledge.
DM: you see a bunch of eggs by the shore
Me: are they slimey?
DM: Yes
Me: They are chuul eggs. Gil is an experienced mercenary and knows that slimey eggs usualy mean monster (wisdom 12, intelligence 14. doesn't take a character with 20 ranks in a knowledge skill to tell the difference between turtle and chuul eggs) and backs off.
The Oracle Variant: The Skill Jester
Whether they fail or succeed, whatever skill they're using, it's gotta be silly. Succeeded a climb check? "I scamper up the wall humming the theme to Spiderman." Failed a move silently? "My character is obviously flatulent tonight!"
I may have to start using this myself, albeit more sparingly, since in the last session I was in, my rogue rolled a critical fail on both of his stealth checks.
"Oh, crap. I know what that is..."
Knows the Monster Manual (All of them) by heart. When the DM starts describing a monster, he immediately informs the party of its special abilities, its grapple score, and its AC. Has no idea that there's a difference between Player Knowledge and PC Knowledge. Usually gets annoyed when the DM decided to cook up some homebrew monsters for the party to fight, only because he has no clue what they do.
This is one of the problems with D&D. Players have access to far too much knowledge that it makes it hard not to metagame and use that information in game. Not all players are good at remembering what they know and what their character knows. So the easiest solution is to keep player knowledge limited as well. This way you also get real reactions from your players when you describe the monster and they are really like O_O "OMG what is that?"
Panic and fear makes the game more intense
Any group of players, though usually encountered in pairs, that distract the rest of the group with their pointless, freakishly-annoying bickering about stupid things. And the worst part about these guys is, I'm one of a pair. Me and the other guy got into a huge argument about whose character would get to keep a stupid key for safekeeping. A few of the things this other person said to me during the argument in regards to my justification for taking the key bring me to my next bad player example...
The Opportunist
Doesn't do something unless it suits a particular goal of his. In my example, a player possessed a grating habit of naming his characters after former toons from WoW. Doubting he would know the word background if it smacked him in the face, this player did not roleplay ONE DAMN BIT. Yet as soon as an opportunity for him to justify an argument of his with "Well that doesn't fit with your character" sprang up, he took it immediately, and then went back into the "Kill n' Loot" mode to which I had become accustomed.
I also had an encounter with a rules-lawyer in another session of mine. It was one of those amusing times where I figured that stereotypical bad players like this more of a concoction of some keyboard jockey looking to weave an amusing tale on the forums to get a bit of attention. Well, I was wrong in that regard. A session of mine that started only very recently had a classic example of a rules-lawyer in it, a man who I shall refer to as Jim joined the game and quickly established an annoying habit of wasting our time with rules. He also disrupted sessions with irritating remarks like "this is going nowhere" while everyone else played the game.
Panic and fear makes the game more intense
It's even better when you are the only one with access to multiple monster sources.
This guy is always importent to your party, always gets high rolls, and always plays well and role plays well. Until you get into tough combat. All of the sudden, he's paralyzed with fear, screaming that we're all going to die unless we immitate the French and flee. "I've lost 3/4 of my hit points and there are 2/5 Enemies left! At this rate I'll die! I sprint/teleport/shift/run away, well yelling for my team mates to come with me! Only a small percentage of the encounters in an adventure will be finished with this guy.
The Anti-Escapist: So-called because he doesn't seem to get the point that hiding in a basement and pretending to be an elf is supposed to be a diversion from reality, the Anti-Escapist will bring real-world idealogies and politics into every game. He might start a debate about presidential candidates mid-session, or, in extreme cases, might start transferring real-world issues into the game itself. Woe betide you if he's DMing, or else you may find yourself hunting foreign terrorists in a desert environment at the behest of King Hsub W. Egroeg II.
Panic and fear makes the game more intense
True, but having player knowledge can help sometimes.
Namely in one encounter we fought a slaad, and the DM had initially assumed that it had threatening reach (or rather assumed that threatening reach wasn't a specific ability but rather present in all large+ creatures). As luck would have it, I have more or less memorized the boneclaw's abilities (not for metagame reasons, I just want them inside me :D) so I was able to correct that ("Correct" really isn't the right word here with the goilden rule and whatnot, but the point is knowing the monster manual can make a difference.)
The Prideful Prick
Little brother of the Munchkin and the little sibling of the Rules Lawyer, the Prideful Prick takes great pride in their character, and even when their character is not a borderline Munchkin, they're constantly going out of their way to boast (in the smugest way possible) to other characters and even the DM about how great their character is, almost driving the DM to the point of "Your character gets crushed by a giant, spikey rock and dies. No saving throw." However, when their character is being a little... lackluster, the Prideful Prick takes it all as a personal offense and begins to get snippy, sometimes even throwing a minor tantrum.
Example: Right now, I'm DMing a campaign where one of the players is a human fighter who started with 3 feats (he took a penalty) and spent them all on getting his character an HP of 37 at first level. When the party (still level one) got attacked by a bunch of ghouls, his character won initiative and immediately charged the first ghoul. Because everyone was far behind him, and the ghouls got second initiative, the ghouls swarmed him, and as they did the Player snorted with contempt, saying, "Let them come, I have an HP of 37."
One of the other players said, "You are such a powergamer."
Prideful Prick responds, smug smirk on his face, "Ahh, but I'm completely within the rules!" (he was, as far as I know)
The ghouls all attacked him, and with each hit he took, the Prideful Prick snorted or snickered. That is, until he got afflicted with ghoul fever for 3 rounds.
Me: "The ghoul hits you with a bite attack."
Prideful Prick: "Ha! What, all it's going to do is, like, 7 damage."
Me: "Ghoul fever, roll for Fortitude, DC is 12."
PP: *rolls*
Me: "What's your Fortitude save?"
PP: "+3"
Me: "You fail, you are paralyzed for the next 3 rounds."
After that, I think he looked like he was about to cry. By the end of the fight, a dwarf fighter got afflicted with ghoul fever, and the person playing him had forgotten to calculate their Fortitude...
Me: "Well, you're a fighter, so you get +2 Fortitude at 1st level, and what's your con?"
Player: "+3"
Me: "You overcome ghoul fever."
PP: "Wait, fighters get +2 at first level? I didn't add that into my Fortitude save! I shouldn't be paralyzed!"
Me: "Well you should have told me you didn't add your base to your Fortitude save, it's too late now, we can't change that."
Honestly, I was surprised he didn't make a bigger seen, after that whole thing I was expecting him to turn it into some kind of massive episode.
Yes, You, the person sitting there in front of your computer reading this post is the worst player to have in a game! Why? Because you are surfing the internet instead of paying attention to your Dungeon Master!
:D
YOU!
Yes, You, the person sitting there in front of your computer reading this post is the worst player to have in a game! Why? Because you are surfing the internet instead of paying attention to your Dungeon Master!
:D
Are you suggesting players should stalk their DM?
On an entirely unrelated note you left your curtains open.
I didn't read through all the posts, so I don't know if this one has been posted yet...
The Prideful Prick
Little brother of the Munchkin and the little sibling of the Rules Lawyer, the Prideful Prick takes great pride in their character, and even when their character is not a borderline Munchkin, they're constantly going out of their way to boast (in the smugest way possible) to other characters and even the DM about how great their character is, almost driving the DM to the point of "Your character gets crushed by a giant, spikey rock and dies. No saving throw." However, when their character is being a little... lackluster, the Prideful Prick takes it all as a personal offense and begins to get snippy, sometimes even throwing a minor tantrum.
Example: Right now, I'm DMing a campaign where one of the players is a human fighter who started with 3 feats (he took a penalty) and spent them all on getting his character an HP of 37 at first level. When the party (still level one) got attacked by a bunch of ghouls, his character won initiative and immediately charged the first ghoul. Because everyone was far behind him, and the ghouls got second initiative, the ghouls swarmed him, and as they did the Player snorted with contempt, saying, "Let them come, I have an HP of 37."
One of the other players said, "You are such a powergamer."
Prideful Prick responds, smug smirk on his face, "Ahh, but I'm completely within the rules!" (he was, as far as I know)
The ghouls all attacked him, and with each hit he took, the Prideful Prick snorted or snickered. That is, until he got afflicted with ghoul fever for 3 rounds.
Me: "The ghoul hits you with a bite attack."
Prideful Prick: "Ha! What, all it's going to do is, like, 7 damage."
Me: "Ghoul fever, roll for Fortitude, DC is 12."
PP: *rolls*
Me: "What's your Fortitude save?"
PP: "+3"
Me: "You fail, you are paralyzed for the next 3 rounds."
After that, I think he looked like he was about to cry. By the end of the fight, a dwarf fighter got afflicted with ghoul fever, and the person playing him had forgotten to calculate their Fortitude...
Me: "Well, you're a fighter, so you get +2 Fortitude at 1st level, and what's your con?"
Player: "+3"
Me: "You overcome ghoul fever."
PP: "Wait, fighters get +2 at first level? I didn't add that into my Fortitude save! I shouldn't be paralyzed!"
Me: "Well you should have told me you didn't add your base to your Fortitude save, it's too late now, we can't change that."
Honestly, I was surprised he didn't make a bigger seen, after that whole thing I was expecting him to turn it into some kind of massive episode.
*Sigh* These guys are the worst, I have one in my session who always makes a character that he brags about. When one died, I was super-happy, it was just fun to see him lose his precious character. This guy embodies quite a few of the examples I've seen posted on this thread, and quite a few I've posted myself.
Has secret meetings with the DM to create a "cool" monsterous race that's "balanced" when really all it does make the game revolve around them.
:O
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:O
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:O
It's so true. o.O Like, I didn't expect anyone else had this problem. Haha!
She's 7 months pregnant Just what it says, this woman is 7 months pregnant and just would not shut up about how we are geeks and nerds while she is playing with us. She bosses everyone around out of game to get her this and that and to rub her feet and blah blah blah....
The second DM This guy is our usual DM, so he knows what he should roll before I tell him. An encounter usually went like this: "I hide, I roll a 23... do I hide? I sneak, I roll a 19 so I sneak. I make a listen check, ohh a 8, I don't hear anything, I'll make a spot check, a 24! I have to see something." All while I'm trying to find a page in the monster manual. And he also thinks that if you roll high for a spot, listen, etc. that you hear or see something no matter what.
I had one other player and he's not that big of a problem, but the other 2 are.
*Sigh* These guys are the worst, I have one in my session who always makes a character that he brags about. When one died, I was super-happy, it was just fun to see him lose his precious character. This guy embodies quite a few of the examples I've seen posted on this thread, and quite a few I've posted myself.
I had one of these, too. He always plays high-dex elves with weapon finesse and insane Rapier skills.
Oh, the fits he threw when I incorporated durability in weaponry....
Your group must be made entirely of casters.
So... you would have melee characters even crappier?
Your group must be made entirely of casters.
Melee characters arent' crappy in my games. They get lots of instant kills when they land a critical hit.
But weapon hardiness affects bow users, staves...it's actually a 3.5e standard rule fleshed out in more detail the A&E book
A&E is 3.0. It's a variant rule, not a standard one. Do you rule that the party wizard has to make a fortitude save everytime he gets some ale?
Fort saves for every alcoholic, narcotic, or otherwise altering drug, with negatives for first time drinkers or users. Yup.
I kinda have to. I allow drinking contests between fighters and NPCs as a method of promoting RP. Also, my evil characters sometimes make some money selling drugs from the BoVD they make, and I've had a sex-cleric as described in the "unofficial" BoEF in the party before.
If it's in a book, i consider it a possibility, but it's subject to my review and approval as a DM.
Edit: THAT REMINDS ME
THE PLAYER WHO NEEDS SOME HOT LOVE BADLY
This player is sexually frustrated and takes it out in their game. This can range from the Dead Ale Wives "Are there any girls there? I wanna do them!" virginal nerd to a player who has hit a dry spell and she's used to lots of hardcore boot-knocking.
The result? A character who jumps in bed with the first man or woman she/he/it can. They tend to RP it a bit more than they should which disgusts the rest of the players (who laugh uncomfortably), and forces the DM to look up how pregnancy, sexuality, and venereal diseases work in the BoEF.
I had one of these, too. He always plays high-dex elves with weapon finesse and insane Rapier skills.
Oh, the fits he threw when I incorporated durability in weaponry....
Hee, throwing a wrench into the works is really fun for people like that, since I have yet to actually DM a game, I can't fully appreciate the satisfaction you must have had at the time. Man, this guy in my campaign does something new every night to annoy me, since he's the guy in charge of keeping track of all our loot, we found two health potions. I requested one and he flipped out (not in a "endless stream of f-bombs" way but in a more subtle way) and said the equivalent to "Okay, you want this one health potion? Fine, you can keep track of all the loot now" *sigh* I'm going to have high blood pressure later on aren't I?
On a less angry note, weapon durability rules sound interesting, I'd actually like the challenge of breaking a weapon mid-battle and commandeering another while in the dungeon.
There's no need to sacrifice "fun" for realism, and it's always something bad to sacrifice realism for "fun" because it's just not necessary and makes the environment less immersive.
The mechanics exist infinite times over that balance melee and magic; most people just don't seem to look into it.
And it's been proven an infinite times over that magic > melee when you get to save or die spells and casters who can fly out of reach.
Depends how the game is run, really. Some DMs try to balance things out by giving enemies high saves, spell resistance, and worst of all, Mordenkainen's Disjunction!
And it's been proven an infinite times over that magic > melee when you get to save or die spells and casters who can fly out of reach.
I pity that you haven't had a DM who knows how to balance this.
Fort saves for every alcoholic, narcotic, or otherwise altering drug, with negatives for first time drinkers or users. Yup.
I kinda have to. I allow drinking contests between fighters and NPCs as a method of promoting RP. Also, my evil characters sometimes make some money selling drugs from the BoVD they make, and I've had a sex-cleric as described in the "unofficial" BoEF in the party before.
If it's in a book, i consider it a possibility, but it's subject to my review and approval as a DM.
Edit: THAT REMINDS ME
THE PLAYER WHO NEEDS SOME HOT LOVE BADLY
This player is sexually frustrated and takes it out in their game. This can range from the Dead Ale Wives "Are there any girls there? I wanna do them!" virginal nerd to a player who has hit a dry spell and she's used to lots of hardcore boot-knocking.
The result? A character who jumps in bed with the first man or woman she/he/it can. They tend to RP it a bit more than they should which disgusts the rest of the players (who laugh uncomfortably), and forces the DM to look up how pregnancy, sexuality, and venereal diseases work in the BoEF.
I have one of these....
I have one of these....
I feel so sorry for you...
....
STOR-EE, STOR-EE, STOR-EE, STOR-EE!
Showing up late to a game is pretty irritating for the group -- but not nearly as much as showing up too early. Excuse me, but I'm in the middle of fixing lunch for myself and doing laundry so I can be ready in time for TONIGHT's game. Why are you in my apartment, anyway?
Now go ahead and crank it up a notch -- start whining about how everyone else is late.
Black and White Dice
Who needs DCs when you roll with black and white dice? You either fail or succeed based on whether you rolled below or above a 10 on the D20. Don't confuse the DM with numbers -- just let them know whether you rolled black or white!
DM: Alright, fighter, it's your turn. Roll to hit.
Player: Alright! I hit!
DM: What'd you roll?
Player: I hit.
DM: But what did you roll?
Player: It was high.
DM: TELL ME WHAT YOU ROLLED RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KILL MYSELF WITH THIS MECHANICAL PENCIL!
Player: I can't remember, all I know is that it was high, so I hit.
DM: GAAAAAHHHH!!!!
People complain about me being
The Kamina:
A Kamina might not be a charisma based character, but he'll try to give a pep talk anyway with his irl motivational skills. They are only slightly less cheesy then hang in there baby.
"YOUR SPELL WILL BE THE SPELL THAT PIERCES THE HEAVENS!"
"BELIEVE IN YOUR GOD CLERIC! BELIEVE IN HIM, WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!"
"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!"
The player who doesn't understand the differences between "Known Spells", "Spells per Day", and "Prepared Spells". This is amplified when the player doesn't catch on to Spell Levels either. This person is often an experienced player, but usually plays non-casters; now they insist on playing casters because they got bored with beaters.
Situation 1:
Sorcerer: "I cast Mage Armor"
DM: You already cast your spell limit today
Sorc: No, I cast that many Magic Missiles. I still have 6 Mage Armors
DM: You only get 6 spells per day!
Sorc: Yes, and I have used 6 missiles, now I have 6 mage armors.
DM:
Situation 2:
DM: Fighter, you just took 23 damage, and are seriously wounded. Player knowledge, you need a Cure Moderate or Serious effect to staunch the bleeding, because the damage is magical in nature. Cleric, your experiences allow your character to know this.
Fighter: That leaves me at 9! I scream for healing!
Cleric: I can't heal him, not enough anyway
DM:....you only used Cure Moderate Wounds once today
Cleric: Yes, so I can't use it again.
DM cries as he finds he's looking at a photocopy of the PHB Cleric Spells list and the "Cure Moderate Wounds" entry has a checkmark by it.
DM: But what spells do you have prepared?
Cleric: That's what I just handed you!
Situation 3:
Wizard: I cast Cloudkill
DM: You don' t know Cloudkill. You didnt' take it at level and you've not encountered it during this entire adventure.
Wizard: Oh I know, but that was before camp. Now I know Cloudkill and I don't know Burning Hands anymore.
The Spell List of Infinite Pwnage
The player who doesn't understand the differences between "Known Spells", "Spells per Day", and "Prepared Spells". This is amplified when the player doesn't catch on to Spell Levels either. This person is often an experienced player, but usually plays non-casters; now they insist on playing casters because they got bored with beaters.
Situation 1:
Sorcerer: "I cast Mage Armor"
DM: You already cast your spell limit today
Sorc: No, I cast that many Magic Missiles. I still have 6 Mage Armors
DM: You only get 6 spells per day!
Sorc: Yes, and I have used 6 missiles, now I have 6 mage armors.
DM:
Situation 2:
DM: Fighter, you just took 23 damage, and are seriously wounded. Player knowledge, you need a Cure Moderate or Serious effect to staunch the bleeding, because the damage is magical in nature. Cleric, your experiences allow your character to know this.
Fighter: That leaves me at 9! I scream for healing!
Cleric: I can't heal him, not enough anyway
DM:....you only used Cure Moderate Wounds once today
Cleric: Yes, so I can't use it again.
DM cries as he finds he's looking at a photocopy of the PHB Cleric Spells list and the "Cure Moderate Wounds" entry has a checkmark by it.
DM: But what spells do you have prepared?
Cleric: That's what I just handed you!
Situation 3:
Wizard: I cast Cloudkill
DM: You don' t know Cloudkill. You didnt' take it at level and you've not encountered it during this entire adventure.
Wizard: Oh I know, but that was before camp. Now I know Cloudkill and I don't know Burning Hands anymore.
*Twitch*
I don't often play casters, but those situations made me cry a little inside...
Black and white dice is a cheap way to try and cheat the system lol! It's not horrible, but t's like gaining action points whenever convient.
People complain about me being
The Kamina:
A Kamina might not be a charisma based character, but he'll try to give a pep talk anyway with his irl motivational skills. They are only slightly less cheesy then hang in there baby.
"YOUR SPELL WILL BE THE SPELL THAT PIERCES THE HEAVENS!"
"BELIEVE IN YOUR GOD CLERIC! BELIEVE IN HIM, WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!"
"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!"
And... there's anything wrong with that? I would give you bonus xp for making a reference to an awesome anime.
The Method Actor
The guy who has no concept of the idea of "out of character", and insists on handling everything in character. Any reference to the metagame or out-of-character discussion will be met by an in-character statement of confusion, complete with silly accent.
May not be entirely bad (at least he's roleplaying), but sometimes he gets into the game to the point where you start to get concerned for his sanity. You'd hate to think what would happen if his character got killed...
I have a player who gets discouraged incredibly easily. You might think she just wasn't all that into the games and I suppose that could be true, but she spends all sorts of time making her characters. She draws her characters, comes up with back stories and even optimizes.
But then, come game time, she rolls poorly once or gets into a position where her character doesn't have a lot of choices and she crumbles. She just gets really fatalistic and stops trying.
One particular occurrence was last week when the first fight that broke out was with a giant walking-mouth construct. She tried to use a power and then throw a javelin (she's a warlord). The next round she does amazing and is super useful. I would even call it integral to the victory. If she hadn't done what she did, the paladin would have died for sure.
On the next turn, she takes a swing at the giant monster and misses, makes some comment about how useless she is fighting that thing and then spirals into a black hole of helplessness. "What am I supposed to do against that thing?" "It probably wouldn't even matter but I'll roll anyway"
Worst bit is that is spread to the other players. Probably doesn't help that this group is new to 4e and each turn is taking forever to get around the table as everybody has to read over all their powers every time they have to make a choice.
The Predator
This player will select his or her prey at the beginning of the battle, and insist on taking it down on his or her own. As such, they usually prefer the most self-sufficient class out there. Will react very hostilely to any kind of interference in their duel. Generally insists on landing the first and/or last blow on all bosses
The Philosopher
This player will constantly point out inconstancies, hypocrisies, redundancies, fallacies, and oxymorons in the alignment system. Not to be confused with players who think there shouldn't be an alignment system.
The Mythology Professor
This player will constantly point out that kobolds and troglodytes aren't reptilian, Gorgons aren't poison-breathing bulls, gnomes are elementals, not inventors, basilisks don't have legs, etc. etc. trying to convince him that it doesn't matter and he to put up with it for the sake of the game will usually result in many objects getting thrown. Also check your breakfast for poison the next morning.
The History Buff
This player will constantly ramble on about what a particular weapon or armor's qualities and capabilities are, and how the game does not represent them accurately. again, trying to convince them to put up with it because it is just a game will be met with violence, probably involving the weapon/armor being discussed, if available.
The Monster Fanboy
This player likes one or more types of monster a little too much, and will always try reason with one, even if it's intelligence isn't high enough to make that possible. If push comes to shove and it's either the monster or the party, he will probably betray the party.
Unlucky Number
this player, usually out of being Obsessive-Compulsive or some other such condition, hates a certain number with a passion. He will insist the party keep playing until they've leveled up past that number or have leveled up greater than that number of times, will refuse to have any stat at that number, etc. etc. In some sort of cosmic injuctice, he will invariably roll that number every time he rolls, will do that much damage in combat frequently, always somehow wind up with that much gold, Have that much HP left, etc, etc. will generally quiet before he's played that many games.
The Caniphobe
do not keep a dog and a knife in the same building as this person. one will end up inside the other.
that's just about everything that keeps me from playing D&D.
Absolutely insists on having stats be played in the way they appear on the character sheet, example: to this person, an 8 INT means a drooling idiot who has trouble remembering their own name. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't make sense to have a person with an 8 in WIS be a sagacious fellow who is often consulted for advice. The Stat Nazi just wants to pigeonhole everyone into his viewpoint about how one would go about playing a score in a certain stat. Those with high charisma are expected to be yakking it up all the time, there is no room in this person's mind for a quiet type who only speaks at key moments, but often says something of great import.
The Lord of Cliche
Loves those trickster gnome rogues and ale-guzzling dwarf fighters with a passion. The Lord of Cliche wouldn't be quite so bad were it not for his insistence that his way is the only way to play the character. Anyone who plays something "against type" can expect a difficult time RPing with the Lord. And worst of all, this guy's beliefs don't stop with races, they usually go to classes too. EVERY PALADIN, even if they're devoted to the god of tolerance and love, is expected to be a fire-and-brimstone crusader out to "punish the wicked and shepherd the righteous", or whatever other cliche saying this guy comes up with. A disturbing number of these guys will be Stupid Evil in an evil campaign, their interpretation of evil usually is "SMASH, BURN, DESTROY!" and all that Saturday morning cartoon baddie stuff.
20 minutes earlier
NPC: Can you please go into the crypt and save my baby before the Necromancer within sacrifices it?
Rogue: OK!
Present
DM: Your attack with your dagger strikes the skeleton. Roll damage.
Rogue: 5 total.
DM: The Skeleton has DR 5. Your blow accomplishes nothing.
Rogue: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THERE WERE UNDEAD? YOU SUCK AS A DM!
DM looks at notes: I did. Crypt. Necromancer. Do the math.
Rogue: I'M HERE TO PLAY D&D, NOT DO MATH (bolded for epicfailness)
OR
DM: The door is locked
Rogue: Open Lock.......ugh, a 1.
DM: Roll it again. Fumble threat
Rogue: Bloody hell, another 1!
DM: Oi...well you broke your tools and jammed the lock Roll a reflex save.
Rogue: Sonofa.....a two. 5 total.
DM: OK, hang on......damn. The breaking pick functions similarly to an arrow trap when the pin snaps loose. It just beat your AC, lets see if it crits.
Rogue: Surely not.
DM rolls a 19, beating the AC.
DM rolls off the 2.0 crit table
DM: Umm...i'm treating this as nonlethal but it snaps into your eye. Permanent -2 on spot and search because it destroys the eye, and -1 to attack rolls.
Rogue (upset about the series of HORRID rolls): "FUMBLES ARE EVIL! I HATE THIS GAME. CHANCE SHOULD HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I HATE FUMBLES AND I HATE YOU."
DM: Dude....you're at level 1. Just reroll if you're that upset about it....
The Lord of Cliche
Loves those trickster gnome rogues and ale-guzzling dwarf fighters with a passion. The Lord of Cliche wouldn't be quite so bad were it not for his insistence that his way is the only way to play the character. Anyone who plays something "against type" can expect a difficult time RPing with the Lord. And worst of all, this guy's beliefs don't stop with races, they usually go to classes too. EVERY PALADIN, even if they're devoted to the god of tolerance and love, is expected to be a fire-and-brimstone crusader out to "punish the wicked and shepherd the righteous", or whatever other cliche saying this guy comes up with. A disturbing number of these guys will be Stupid Evil in an evil campaign, their interpretation of evil usually is "SMASH, BURN, DESTROY!" and all that Saturday morning cartoon baddie stuff.
My. God. I have one of those in the campaign (3.5) I'm doing right now! He's playing a half-ogre barbarian named Gerosh the Uncaring, alignment Chaotic Evil. There was one mission where about 25 sorceror's (alignment N) were prodded by the BBEG and his psionic 2nd to massacre their hometown, most of the sorceror's were young children, and most of the members of our party, of course, had reservations about killing children. Our thoughts?
Roan Longstrider, halfling/goblin crossbreed ranger, CG - Hopefully I can get them to stop, or maybe we can just chase them away, or something. Gods, I don't want to kill kids.
Analee Robitussin, halfling cleric of Obad-Hai, CG - Maybe I can just use entangle to immobilize them, or subdue them without killing them.
Amiril, half-elf necromancer, N - I'll take out the adults first, but if worst comes to worst, I might just have to kill the children.
Blaze, xeph mindblade, CE - Damn, there are kids involved. I won't touch them, but if one of them attacks me, I'm going to chop the little blighter down the middle.
Gerosh - YAY! CHILDREN TO KILL AND MAIM! *skips gleefully over to the kids and begins hacking them apart first, despite the fact that they were the least threatening things on the battlefield at the time*
...
The Faultless Fool
...
Hahahaha as difficult as it is to play with the Faultless Fool, it is always satisfactory watching their characters repeatedly maim themselves / get knocked out.
In one short adventure, there was a feud developing between my assassin and a Faultless Fool who was playing a human barbarian. It was only because in the current dungeon, there were many traps, and my assassin had taken point -- despite the fact that the barbarian was the "leader" of the group.
Eventually, we came upon a room full of sleeping half-dragon guards.
Assassin: "Shh, stay in the doorway and watch my back. I'm going to slip in there and slit a few throats. Won't take but a minute."
Barbarian: "NO! You stay here, I shall slaughter them!"
Assassin: "Excuse me, but I'm an assassin. I can creep about without waking anyone in there. They won't know what hit them. You on the other hand, will run in there howling your warcry, waking them all. And I doubt we could handle the whole squad by ourselves."
Barbarian: "Screw you. DEEEEAAAATHHHH TO ALLLL WHO OPPOOOOOSE MEEEEEE!"
As the barbarian ran in swinging his axe around his head screaming, every single guard woke. My assassin shut the door and jammed the lock. MIRACULOUSLY the barbarian survived, and he never quite understand why we called him a fool the rest of the night.
Barbarian: "...but it worked! No reason to be upset, just because I'm a better fighter than the rest of you..."
>.<
DM: The door is locked
Rogue: Open Lock.......ugh, a 1.
DM: Roll it again. Fumble threat
Rogue: Bloody hell, another 1!
DM: Oi...well you broke your tools and jammed the lock Roll a reflex save.
Rogue: Sonofa.....a two. 5 total.
DM: OK, hang on......damn. The breaking pick functions similarly to an arrow trap when the pin snaps loose. It just beat your AC, lets see if it crits.
Rogue: Surely not.
DM rolls a 19, beating the AC.
DM rolls off the 2.0 crit table
DM: Umm...i'm treating this as nonlethal but it snaps into your eye. Permanent -2 on spot and search because it destroys the eye, and -1 to attack rolls.
Rogue (upset about the series of HORRID rolls): "FUMBLES ARE EVIL! I HATE THIS GAME. CHANCE SHOULD HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I HATE FUMBLES AND I HATE YOU."
DM: Dude....you're at level 1. Just reroll if you're that upset about it....
Ummm...yeah. This DM would be on my Worst DMs list. Skill Fumbles? Crit Charts? No. For one reason. The characters suffer from the whacked out penalties from a series of bad rolls, whereas an enemy suffering the exact same fate only does so until killed by the party.
Ummm...yeah. This DM would be on my Worst DMs list. Skill Fumbles? Crit Charts? No. For one reason. The characters suffer from the whacked out penalties from a series of bad rolls, whereas an enemy suffering the exact same fate only does so until killed by the party.
Uh... yeah, if you read other threads in which Corvus posts, you'll find that he has some ideas about DMing that many would disagree with, although I happen to heartily despise crit fumbles, it's really not up to me or anyone else what the proper way to DM is.
Ummm...yeah. This DM would be on my Worst DMs list. Skill Fumbles? Crit Charts? No. For one reason. The characters suffer from the whacked out penalties from a series of bad rolls, whereas an enemy suffering the exact same fate only does so until killed by the party.
Luck's a ***** sometimes, ain't it?
And if the monsters dont have the same chance of fumbling then the DM is bad at applying fumbles. You can't do it halfway; what is good for the goose is good for the gander. My critters fumble weapons, fail skills epically, etc. on occasion. All my beasties follow the same rules as the players.
That's why I stick to 3.5e. The monsters even use the same character sheets. 4e took away the "depth" of the monsters, and from what I've seen, it's impossible to run a balanced crit table or fumble system because of it.
Uh... yeah, if you read other threads in which Corvus posts, you'll find that he has some ideas about DMing that many would disagree with, although I happen to heartily despise crit fumbles, it's really not up to me or anyone else what the proper way to DM is.
**** me, I'm famous...on the interwebz. But yes, I am a fan of the old school, hard as hell gaming systems. I don't feel D&D is, or should ever be, for everyone; especially not the weak-minded or those who demand an abstract sense of absolute fairness. Thats what the Wii is for.
That's why I stick to 3.5e. The monsters even use the same character sheets. 4e took away the "depth" of the monsters, and from what I've seen, it's impossible to run a balanced crit table or fumble system because of it.
Don't be silly. Character sheets have nothing to do with depth. You should know that.
Besides, you totally missed the point of vyvyan's balance issue. See, if an NPC blinds himself in one eye, he only ever deals with that 'off stage'. It's effectively a non-issue. Especially if he's just doomed to die at the hands of the party. The PC has to live with this -1 for the character's entire career.
I took one of my player's eyes once. He stole a lich's eye and now he has one blue and one yellow eye.
Also, nightmares.
Don't be silly. Character sheets have nothing to do with depth. You should know that.
Besides, you totally missed the point of vyvyan's balance issue. See, if an NPC blinds himself in one eye, he only ever deals with that 'off stage'. It's effectively a non-issue. Especially if he's just doomed to die at the hands of the party. The PC has to live with this -1 for the character's entire career.
I took one of my player's eyes once. He stole a lich's eye and now he has one blue and one yellow eye.
Also, nightmares.
That's not a bad thing. That's a shift in motive, and that's good RP.
There are ravens native to Sigil that tear out eyes if they hit and roll a certain value range on a %d. One of those got one of my characters on the present campaign. He did the same thing; he went and found himself a magical replacement.
That's not a bad thing.
What's not a bad thing?
What's not a bad thing?
He's saying that magical replacement parts can add to a character's flavor, so to speak. and that's true.
However Losing an eye in battle = story to tell the grandkids
Losing an eye to an arrow trap after a bungled attempt at picking a lock = Lame
Besides, wouldn't an arrow in the eye go through and pierce the brain?
He's saying that magical replacement parts can add to a character's flavor, so to speak. and that's true.
However Losing an eye in battle = story to tell the grandkids
Losing an eye to an arrow trap after a bungled attempt at picking a lock = Lame
Besides, wouldn't an arrow in the eye go through and pierce the brain?
Oh hell yeah, thats awesome. I don't know where he got the idea I would believe otherwise. Hell, my player took the eye of the lich that blinded him! Took the guy out in an airship crash. It was epic. After digging through the wreckage with a bleeding hole in his head, he found the lich's crushed remains, and took the eye before burning the rest. The party surgeon sewed that thing into his head and now he's scary as all get out. Of course, the lich is slowly reconstructing himself somewhere and will probably come back for the eye. Whatever. Just more awesomeness to come.
They can't get no satisfaction. MJs are forever unhappy with their characters, the adventures, the monsters, the system, everything. Nothing is ever quite good enough, no matter how much effort is put in to please them. Yet they keep turning up to play.
MacGyver Cloaked
You have no idea when you gave this player's PC a MacGyver Cloak - an artifact allowing the PC to produce anything they need to deal with the current situation. Yet they must have one, because the PC 'surprisingly' has the item they need on their sheet, each and every time. Variants exists, such as the MacGyver spellbook.
Too Posh To Punch
"Hi old chap, I'm a roleplayer, a REAL roleplayer. All you kids today only care about combat, which is a base pleasure and vastly inferior to, well, any sort of roleplaying that doesn't involve combat. I could quite happily spend the entire session having an animated discussion with a local farmer about the price of grain, but I guess the rest of you have to have your little fight. So go on, get it over with, and I'll keep looking for something that might motivate my carefully crafted, nonconformist, three-dimensional persona. A clue: it's not gold, loot or battle. That's got you stumped, hasn't it, Mr DM?"
See, if an NPC blinds himself in one eye, he only ever deals with that 'off stage'. It's effectively a non-issue. Especially if he's just doomed to die at the hands of the party.
That's what's called metagame thinking. ;)
That's what's called metagame thinking. ;)
...and? Metagaming is only bad when you're a player breaking 4th walls everywhere. I'm a DM. Even still, I was only pointing out to Corvus that critical fumbles do, in fact, affect players more than NPCs simple by the the act of applying them equally. It's a really important point.
As far as the gameworld is concerned, that NPC: that just lost an eye and happened to survive the encounter is still alive and will be going about his/her/it's life, regardless of whether the NPC gets any further 'screentime.'
As has already been mentioned, losing an eye is a great roleplaying opportunity. Not to mention the fact that it can be easily fixed should the PC desire.
So really in this example there's no reason to be against it.
Critcal fumbles/misses are only one-side of the coin, if someone doesn't like them and doesn't want the to have their characters be subjected to them/doesn't want them to be part of the game, that is fine and dandy, but they should remove the entire coin. Meaning critical hits/successes should not be apart of that group's game as well.
Afterall, luck goes both ways.
Sure, it's balanced against NPC's and PC's, it adds realism, it would also reduce the number of people sitting at your table.
Realism leaves the game the instant it conflicts with fun, and 'your character concept is ruined because you rolled a 1' generally conflicts with my fun. I don't mind my character losing an eye in an epic battle, but it kinda sucks to lose an eye because you were trying to find a bathroom in the dark and walked into a loose nail.
Just not... heroic... and aren't we supposed to play heroes?
I mean seriously; anyone who can stand up to a dragon should have Immunity ( Common accidents ) added to their traits.
If you want to go there, you should just roll a d% after you as DM or a player completed a new character, and if you roll less then a 70 he died at birth and you have to start over...
..it adds realism...
Somehow I get the feeling that in a world where a few minutes of chanting and a handful of gems is all it takes to reverse death itself, the rate of successful births would be much higher than 70%...
That's more then the average farmer makes, and more then the average noble is willing to spend considering he can just try again... he doesn't even know if the child would be of any use anyway.
Being raised is a privilige. They don't do it to the inhabitants of the raided village, why would they do it do stillborns?
I'm not saying that every farmer can afford resurrection.
I am saying that if you can raise the dead, cure the sick, and heal the mortally wounded with a little babbling and arm-waving, surely you can keep birth complications to below a seventy percent mortality rate.
I mean, where rates that high even in the real medieval age? (wouldn't be surprised either way)
The History Buff
This player will constantly ramble on about what a particular weapon or armor's qualities and capabilities are, and how the game does not represent them accurately. again, trying to convince them to put up with it because it is just a game will be met with violence, probably involving the weapon/armor being discussed, if available.
Since we're off topic anyway, would this be like the great katana debates?
The Faultless Fool
20 minutes earlier
DM: The door is locked
Rogue: Open Lock.......ugh, a 1.
DM: Roll it again. Fumble threat
You posted in the wrong thread; this belongs in the "Worst DMs Ever" thread.
Unless you're taking the "DM is a player, too," position, in which case, yes, the DM absolutely belongs in this thread.
And my two cents: my group agreed to a critical fumble sheet. We know that mathematically, it's unfair towards the players, however we all have fun with it. One character wound up playing a dwarf bard who, after several unlucky sessions, had a peg leg, an eye patch, and a metal hook for a hand, a bite out if his ear, and a large, magical bald patch.
We called him Stumpy. It was much fun, DESPITE all his penalties.
(Ok so maybe that was more like 50 cents, but whatever. Thought I'd contribute.)
MOVING ON:
The Mhmfmfhmmuhm
If you are far too busy stuffing your face with pizza during the big battle, you just might be The Mhmfmfhmmuhm. When the DM asks you what your initiative is and all you can manage is "Mhmfmfhmmuhm!", you are DEFINITELY The Mhmfmfhmmuhm. Please swallow before talking, and learn to eat during approriate times so it doesn't interfere with the game. Because nobody likes to play too long with The Mhmfmfhmmuhm.
Since we're off topic anyway, would this be like the great katana debates?
Uhg, don't even get me started on katanas!
A player with severe MPC takes the character far too seriously. The MPC-afflicted tend to become attached to characters to a point that they are (sic) personally offended or afraid if their characters are afflicted or killed. Ironically, however, the same player will go through more characters than Lindsay Lohan goes through AA steps.
This manifests early as a player who wishes to "walk off" a character because they don't like how the character is playing. They spent hours putting the character together, but after a couple of levels, they decide they hate playing it and want another. This "incubation period" is accelerated of the character suffers permanent damage of any kind, or has a statistical change that doesn't align with the original "plan".
While this particular step may seem innocuous, to the MPC-diseased, it is as if opening a door. The DM often makes the mistake of being more concerned with keeping everyone happy than keeping the game functional; a typical newbish mistake but many experienced DMs fall into this too. As such, the DM allows the change, and the vicious cycle begins.
Once MPC takes hold, the player will RP the new character with certain wild variations, and the character will often seem to be a few drams shy on his medications for a given session. This will lead to stupid mistakes or foolish decisions, at which point the MPC-afflicted will again appeal to change the character, be it in a fundamental way or completely roll a new one.
Left unchecked, MPC spreads. Other players begin to think that it's OK to just up and change characters whenever you want, and start asking for the same privileges. Those who are particularly resistant to the effects of MPCS will complain openly about those that have it. Eventually you end up losing party cohesion and the very effforts you made to keep the party together become the reason it falls apart.
I know someone with MPC. Is there a cure?
Yes. The cure is to assert to the player that the world is now a living entity and that what they are doing does not fit, and forbid the behavior. If this causes them to leave the game, the break may do them some good, and the death of the character of the offending player will sate the annoyed resentment toward that player which has fostered in the others. If they do not leave, never cease in your heavy-handedness with them.
If you want to go there, you should just roll a d% after you as DM or a player completed a new character, and if you roll less then a 70 he died at birth and you have to start over.
Sure, it's balanced against NPC's and PC's, it adds realism, it would also reduce the number of people sitting at your table.
Realism leaves the game the instant it conflicts with fun, and 'your character concept is ruined because you rolled a 1' generally conflicts with my fun. I don't mind my character losing an eye in an epic battle, but it kinda sucks to lose an eye because you were trying to find a bathroom in the dark and walked into a loose nail.
Just not... heroic... and aren't we supposed to play heroes?
I mean seriously; anyone who can stand up to a dragon should have Immunity ( Common accidents ) added to their traits.
Bad things do occasionally happen(even to 'heros'). It's a fact of life. There are alot of players that have more fun when a bit of realisim is added into the gameworld, makes things feel a bit more 'real' so to speak. I am one of those players and DMs.
That said though, most critical fumble/misses tables are a bit extreme. But at the sametime critical misses are needed as a possiblity to keep 'balance.' If a person can get lucky and strike a critical hit, than he should also have the chance of a critical miss via bad luck.
In the examples above, the eye loss was occuring in combat. Not as a mundane accident.(I highly doubt that any decent DM would allow that to happen or even make it an issue, lets try to keep our examples realistic, rather than being over-exaggerated extremes.)
Combat is dangerous, life and death, it has risks. As I've said before, losing an eye isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can lead to some great roleplaying opportunities, and it is far from ruining a character concept. Also, again as I previously pointed out, losing an eye can be fixed.
You posted in the wrong thread; this belongs in the "Worst DMs Ever" thread.
Unless you're taking the "DM is a player, too," position, in which case, yes, the DM absolutely belongs in this thread.
Incorrect, that was posted in the right thread.
Just because a DM has a version of critical fumbles/misses in his/her game does not mean he's/she's a 'worst DM ever'
It simply means that you both have conflicting playstyles, perfer to play the game differently.
One must always remember that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to play D&D, that is the great thing about this hobby. :D
That said though, most critical fumble/misses tables are a bit extreme. But at the sametime critical misses are needed as a possiblity to keep 'balance.' If a person can get lucky and strike a critical hit, than he should also have the chance of a critical miss via bad luck.
No one is whining that losing an eye is bad. If I ever had a player that got upset when bad things happened to his character, I'd send him home. That said, I've never actually met a player that didn't pick up the dice knowing there was risk involved. I'm almost a little offended you felt the need to tell people that 'losing an eye isn't so bad' because I don't think that had anything to do with what we're talking about.
I'm confident everybody here is talking about the idea behind fumbles. It being an entirely misguided idea that critical fumbles create some kind of balance. They don't. It adds an amount of risk to attacking that should already be represented by the opponent's turn.
Now, I'm not gonna argue that crits and fumbles aren't fun as hell sometimes, but there isn't anything realistic or balanced about them unless you are looking at them in a vacuum and completely disregarding other systems in the game like opportunity attacks or wizard spells. Critical hits/fumbles are just fun. That roulette wheel moments-before-opening-a-Christmas-present kind of thrill.
No one is whining that losing an eye is bad. If I ever had a player that got upset when bad things happened to his character, I'd send him home. That said, I've never actually met a player that didn't pick up the dice knowing there was risk involved. I'm almost a little offended you felt the need to tell people that 'losing an eye isn't so bad' because I don't think that had anything to do with what we're talking about.
Please reread through the last few previous posts.
Please reread through the last few previous posts.
You're misinterpreting it, I promise. I doubt anybody here would get upset if they lost a foot when saving a dozen orphans from a crocodile. What really grinds gears is that critically fumbling has just as much chance of happening when you're in an epic battle as when you're performing a tumbling routine at a bar for a wench.
Which makes for a terrible story all around.
You're misinterpreting it, I promise. I doubt anybody here would get upset if they lost a foot when saving a dozen orphans from a crocodile. What really grinds gears is that critically fumbling has just as much chance of happening when you're in an epic battle as when you're performing a tumbling routine at a bar for a wench.
Which makes for a terrible story all around.
No, Shadow's right. It's really not about the idea that it's a balance concept; the complaint is in the existence of the systems at all. No-one is arguing that Fumbles are balanced; you have to find a way to balance them. The argument is that somehow D&D is supposed to be "fair", when the fairness of it really comes from the fact that good D&D is 20% planning and RP, and 80% luck.
Also, to the poster who suggested that if fumbles are OK, so should stillbirthing be a risk....it IS one in 3.5e. I direct your attention to the BoEF.
Afterall, luck goes both ways.
I disagree with this. Crit hits aren't balanced by crit fumbles, they get balanced by the fact the monsters can crit too. No other balance is needed. So by saying that you need a mechisism to punish a player that rolls badly to balance the times they roll good is silly.
Besides, in 4th ed now crits really aren't that powerful, you just do full damage as opposed to multiples so crits aren't the make or break of a battle they used to be. Now I understand that arguement won't really sway you cause from what I've seen the pro crit fumble crowd also tends to stick to 3.5 anyway.
This is also the same crowd that seems to think that D&D should be an excersise in sadio-masochism.
You guys do know that if there's ever a troll invasion this forum is boned.
The Wannabe
Sees something that another player is doing or has. The thing in question can be anything from a magic mace to someone's class. Wannabe immediately declares whatever they have, even if it is vastly better, to be useless and demands to get what the other player has so that he can become an exact clone of him.
The LOTR/WoW RPer
Steals many pages from Lord of Cliche's book with his tree-hugging elves and sneaky halfling rogues. Every wizard will be a tall old man with a gray beard and a staff named Gandalf. Every dwarf will be some variant of the name Gimli (like Bimli), however, IMO, it is even worse when they do WoW stuff. At that point they tend to think that WoW lore and DnD lore are the same thing, they love to play honorable orc warriors named Thrall, and act all high-and-mighty towards anyone who reminds them that the lore is different for DnD. His quotes tend to include things like "No, orcs are honorable warriors, unlike those racist human bastards!" and "Stop calling me Corsos the Minotaur, I am Thrakin the Tauren shaman."
The Party Thief
The classic rogue using CN as an excuse to act CE. He'll possess most if not all of your magic items by the first few sessions if he catches you off-guard. Anyone who tries to end his foolishness without first getting help from the rest of the party will not wake up in the morning. Party Thief is also a MASTER of avoiding consequences for his actions, which is also why he often exists in games with feeble or apathetic DMs. If he gets confronted with enough party members that he can't kill all of them in their sleep, he likes to hop on the RP defense and say "I was only RPing my character" usually in angry fashion.
This player wants to play everything. They'll want a Sahuagin Wizard, a Half Mindflayer Ogre, a Tarrasque Lich, a Death Knight Gnome. You could argue that they're creative, and can be easily satisfied when they learn they can use one of their ideas. But, in most cases, they just whine and ask to constantly change classes and races, always seeking to be the one thing you can't be.
You're misinterpreting it, I promise. I doubt anybody here would get upset if they lost a foot when saving a dozen orphans from a crocodile. What really grinds gears is that critically fumbling has just as much chance of happening when you're in an epic battle as when you're performing a tumbling routine at a bar for a wench.
Which makes for a terrible story all around.
Either way, the 'losing an eye' was just an example(one that was not brought up by me, I just continued using it), and certainly nothing to get offended over.
I disagree with this. Crit hits aren't balanced by crit fumbles, they get balanced by the fact the monsters can crit too. No other balance is needed. So by saying that you need a mechisism to punish a player that rolls badly to balance the times they roll good is silly.
Besides, in 4th ed now crits really aren't that powerful, you just do full damage as opposed to multiples so crits aren't the make or break of a battle they used to be. Now I understand that arguement won't really sway you cause from what I've seen the pro crit fumble crowd also tends to stick to 3.5 anyway.
This is also the same crowd that seems to think that D&D should be an excersise in sadio-masochism.
The opposite of good luck(critical hit) is bad luck(critical miss). Critical misses would apply to monsters/NPCs as well, just as critical hits do.
Just because something bad happens to a PC doesn't mean they're being punished. ;)
The LOTR/WoW RPer
Steals many pages from Lord of Cliche's book with his tree-hugging elves and sneaky halfling rogues. Every wizard will be a tall old man with a gray beard and a staff named Gandalf. Every dwarf will be some variant of the name Gimli (like Bimli), however, IMO, it is even worse when they do WoW stuff. At that point they tend to think that WoW lore and DnD lore are the same thing, they love to play honorable orc warriors named Thrall, and act all high-and-mighty towards anyone who reminds them that the lore is different for DnD. His quotes tend to include things like "No, orcs are honorable warriors, unlike those racist human bastards!" and "Stop calling me Corsos the Minotaur, I am Thrakin the Tauren shaman."
Easily solved. As long as he talks like that, insist, in character, you have no idea what he's talking about, and that you personally think he's a loon. If he continues to insist he is "Thrakin the Tauren Shaman", than have your party drop him off at "Ye Olde Home of Madness and Ill Humours".
The Party Thief
The classic rogue using CN as an excuse to act CE. He'll possess most if not all of your magic items by the first few sessions if he catches you off-guard. Anyone who tries to end his foolishness without first getting help from the rest of the party will not wake up in the morning. Party Thief is also a MASTER of avoiding consequences for his actions, which is also why he often exists in games with feeble or apathetic DMs. If he gets confronted with enough party members that he can't kill all of them in their sleep, he likes to hop on the RP defense and say "I was only RPing my character" usually in angry fashion.
Also easily solved. "What, I was RPing too! You kept stealing from my character, and you slit two of his best friends throats, it was only natural that he put 3 feet of steel in your gut!"
The opposite of good luck(critical hit) is bad luck(critical miss). Critical misses would apply to monsters/NPCs as well, just as critical hits do.
Just because something bad happens to a PC doesn't mean they're being punished.
Ok, seriously. We all know that having a view on fumbles/V. 4 that contradicts yours is the Antichrist, but frankly, I don't care and everyones elitist attitudes on these issues is annoying as
. I don't care if you hate Version 4, or if the mere thought of it makes you cream your pants, and the same goes for fumbles. If you holes want to have a massive flame war on topics so pointless, take it to PM or make your own ing thread about it and finish it all for gods sake! I don't care, just, for the love of god, take your V. 4/fumbles Circle Jerk somewhere else!Just because something bad happens to a PC doesn't mean they're being punished. ;)
QFT!!!!!!!!
Just because something bad happens to a PC doesn't mean they're being punished. ;)
Just because the DM believes it to be true doesn't mean it is. If the players feel the game is no fun then the DM is out of a job.
Just because the DM believes it to be true doesn't mean it is. If the players feel the game is no fun then the DM is out of a job.
And players looking for a DM grow on trees. Seriously, it's not like a DM is hurting to find players, it's usually the other way around. If you have people who will walk on a table just because "ZOMG IM NOT PWNING LIKE IN WOW N EQ2 N FINALFANTASEEEZ!!!!1111"....then kick them in the genitals and tell them to move out of their parents basement and join the real world.
To anyone I've offended who lives at home...move out. Then you won't be offended anymore.
And if the DM gets a reputation for being an ass (like certain posters) then do you realy think people would go to him? I would rather DM myself, no matter how much I can't organize, than have a game run by a DM who pulls out a hundred different side rules.
Unfortunately not everyone is you, and most of the players in crappy games, in my experience, either know the GM personally and don't want to hurt his feelings or have nowhere else to go for a game.
It seems that on most teams 'my first rogue' player, they tend to steal/hide findings from the players "because they are a rogue", does anyone else find this? - i've seen it in 2 different players in the last year.
BEGONE CRIT FUMBLES DISCUSSION!
It seems that on most teams 'my first rogue' player, they tend to steal/hide findings from the players "because they are a rogue", does anyone else find this? - i've seen it in 2 different players in the last year.
That's pretty much normal.
Also easily solved. "What, I was RPing too! You kept stealing from my character, and you slit two of his best friends throats, it was only natural that he put 3 feet of steel in your gut!"
Okay, after deleting the majority of your angry post (which I happen to agree with
) I'd like to say that most of the douchebag players like the example above I have encountered in games where said d-bag player is a friend of the DM and probably won't be kicked. "BUT ORENTHES!! OMG, YOU ARE SO STUPID, WHY DO YOU NOT LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM?!" Because I'm not going to leave a game I like based on the actions of one person, ok? He can leave first and take his characters named after WoW toons with him.And in concurrence with the aforementioned post by Mr. Doobie, the elitists here really need to shut up. So what if you like crit fumble tables, so what if you do like them and appear to consider those who don't as unrepentant heretics. The fact of the matter is that this is supposed to be a funny thread and a fun way to complain about players that fail at DnD. All of you douche nozzles who can't seem to grasp that your views on crit fumbles are not the universal truth really do need to shut the hell up.
edit: And while we are on the topic of elitism-
The English Major-
While not always themselves an english major, these people will nitpick and constantly point out spelling and grammar errors. Almost exclusive to play by post games. This can be either annoying or helpful (like some of the 'worst' traits) depending on how the interactions occure.
Which I am completly guilty of doing this :P
I started ignoring Corvus after his extremly thinly veiled insults.
edit: And while we are on the topic of elitism-
The English Major-
While not always themselves an english major, these people will nitpick and constantly point out spelling and grammar errors. Almost exclusive to play by post games. This can be either annoying or helpful (like some of the 'worst' traits) depending on how the interactions occure.
Which I am completly guilty of doing this :P
Hee hee, I do that too :d
The Edition Whiner
The whole party decides on an edition, except for one person. That person then proceeds to whine.
DM: It's a bag of devouring. Roll your save.
Player: Total of 8.
DM: You are sucked into an extradimensional space and as you are rapidly digested, your body is scattered across the infinite space of that dimension. You'll need to roll a new character.
Player: THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED in 4e!
or
DM: You need x more XP to level that class due to the multiclassing penalty. It's your lowest class of the three you took.
Player: Yeah, well in 2.0, you could dual class and level both classes at once. 2.0 is better. let's play 2.0.
or
Player: I DONT CARE IF I AGREED to FIRST EDITION. YOU KILLED ME WITH A HOUSECAT. CLAW CLAW BITE RAKE IS BROKEN. I WANT TO ROLL A CAT CHARACTER.
etc, etc.
Oh the hypocrisy...
In response to Tura's question: both
Just because the DM believes it to be true doesn't mean it is. If the players feel the game is no fun then the DM is out of a job.
Simply put, adventuring is a risky career, bad things can and do happen. Injury, loss of a body part and death are only some of what can occur.
It seems that some people* need to accept this rather than seeming to believe that since they're the PCs, nothing bad should ever happen to them, and if it does, well that must mean the DM is trying to punish them, and/or the DM is horrible/bad. These are the same people that give the impression they'd be happier playing WoW.(The WoW Crowd.)
*(not naming anyone or pointing anyone out, this is a general observation)
Hey, when the DM constantly turns to other players for advice....
There's nothing wrong with seeking advice from others. Especially if it'll help to improve one's game/fun.
Oh the hypocrisy...
In response to Tura's question: both
No, i never play 4e. I never get the chance to be that kind of player ;)
Though has it dawned on you that perhaps you egg on my behavior more by making a point of claiming to ignore it, thus validating its existence as something you should ignore?
Though I do take some offense to the claim my insults are thinly veiled. I was unaware they were even veiled; they just only offend those to whom they apply.
We're on time...just not the right time
You get to a session, ready to game, but wait, there seems to be someone missing. It's this guy/these guys. What's worse, they are late to every session, by roughly the same amount of time every time. With such precision, you'd think they'd figure things out and start arriving on time. They don't, and the reason why is a mystery...
Should've known better then posting about crit/fumble stuff.
*zips mouth and hopes the very funny player types discussion will now return*
Ok, yeah, could we please take this feud back to the houserule threads that have already been cancered by it? I mean that towards both sides of the superfluous argument.
We're on time...just not the right time
You get to a session, ready to game, but wait, there seems to be someone missing. It's this guy/these guys. What's worse, they are late to every session, by roughly the same amount of time every time. With such precision, you'd think they'd figure things out and start arriving on time. They don't, and the reason why is a mystery...
I have one of these. Interestingly, it's the same one who screws up her spell list that I mentioned before. We now tell her that the session is starting an hour earlier than it actually is, so when she shows up an hour late she's on time.
Incorrect, that was posted in the right thread.
You're right; the DM is a player too, and yes, he's totally in the "101 Worst PLAYERS to ever have in a game" category.
Just because a DM has a version of critical fumbles/misses in his/her game does not mean he's/she's a 'worst DM ever'
Certainly not - however, we're not referring to just any DM, we're referring to the type of DM who would presumably enjoy employing a set of critical fumble rules whereby someone attempting to pick a lock can somehow cause the pick to shoot back out of the lock and cause the pickee to lose an eye thereby.
That kind of DM absolutely belongs here.
One must always remember that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to play D&D, that is the great thing about this hobby. :D
Sure - and that statement applies just as usefully to every other player type on this list. Are you chastising anyone else, or merely being selective for inscrutable reasons of your own?
The Numbers Gamer
This guy only sees his character as numbers on a piece of paper and he spends all his time making these numbers as good as he can. He couldn't so much as RP a sentence much less develop a personality or make a background he didn't steal from somewhere with no half-hearted attempt at modification. All he wants to do is roll dice and show everyone that he is better at math
And of course worst of all is this one
The DM's Wife
Need I say more? Her character tends to find the nicest stuff, has more gold than the rest of us will ever know, and somehow always seems to hedge out on stats and skills better than everyone else, I can just never figure out why
These have probably already been done before but I'd just like to vent
The Numbers Gamer
This guy only sees his character as numbers on a piece of paper and he spends all his time making these numbers as good as he can. He couldn't so much as RP a sentence much less develop a personality or make a background he didn't steal from somewhere with no half-hearted attempt at modification. All he wants to do is roll dice and show everyone that he is better at math
In this day and age, it is virtualy impossible to create a truly original background story for your character. Give me a two sentence background (no run on sentences) and with enough time I can find a book/movie/comic/etc that has the same background story, same character ideas.
In this day and age, it is virtualy impossible to create a truly original background story for your character. Give me a two sentence background (no run on sentences) and with enough time I can find a book/movie/comic/etc that has the same background story, same character ideas.
This I understand to some extent, there are still original ideas out there, though they may seem... outlandish (but hey its D&D, outlandish is part of the everyday), but when its obviously taken word for word from a obvious and common source because they truely give backstory that little thought, thats where I find irritation.
In this day and age, it is virtualy impossible to create a truly original background story for your character. Give me a two sentence background (no run on sentences) and with enough time I can find a book/movie/comic/etc that has the same background story, same character ideas.
I believe the problem would be more on the player seeing only their numbers instead of thinking of the character as a character.
I believe the problem would be more on the player seeing only their numbers instead of thinking of the character as a character.
Exactly indeed.
The DM's Wife
Need I say more? Her character tends to find the nicest stuff, has more gold than the rest of us will ever know, and somehow always seems to hedge out on stats and skills better than everyone else, I can just never figure out why
Well, that was me... but my husband was so afraid that everyone would think he was favoring me that he made sure that I never got more than the rest of the party, even though others did at times... Didn't bother me, would rather have that than being seen as 'the DM's wife' :P
This may have been said already: The player's wife (or husband
) - they only come to spend time with their significant other, and while they insist they love to play they are always reading or doing something else until it is their turn, then take forever to figure out what to do. They never role play unless directly addressed by the DM, never join in discussions with other characters, and have absolutely no grasp of the rules even after over a year of playing.Certainly not - however, we're not referring to just any DM, we're referring to the type of DM who would presumably enjoy employing a set of critical fumble rules whereby someone attempting to pick a lock can somehow cause the pick to shoot back out of the lock and cause the pickee to lose an eye thereby.
While I agree that the above example is a bit extreme, losing an eye still remains not that big of a deal and can be rather easily fixed should the PC desire it(Or the PC can run with it and have a bit of fun roleplaying it). Freak accidents do happen, they are a part of life on occasion. And yes adventurers have a higher chance of being the victim of freak accidents, goes with the job.
That kind of DM absolutely belongs here.
Once again, just because you dislike critical misses/fumbles, doesn't make DMs who choose to use them, horrible DMs.
Are you chastising anyone else, or merely being selective for inscrutable reasons of your own?
You mean like calling someone a horrible/bad DM because they choose to add something into their games that you disagree with?
Not only are you two grossly off topic but you really do need to end it before they close this great topic because you two won't drop the flaming. Seriously having read through ya'lls debate you are to the point where you are intentionally grossly misreprenting what eachtoher is saying just to keep arguing about something that honestly doesn't matter.
Once again, just because you dislike critical misses/fumbles, doesn't make DMs who choose to use them, horrible DMs.
And just because a player likes ...
The Numbers Gamer
This guy only sees his character as numbers on a piece of paper and he spends all his time making these numbers as good as he can. He couldn't so much as RP a sentence much less develop a personality or make a background he didn't steal from somewhere with no half-hearted attempt at modification. All he wants to do is roll dice and show everyone that he is better at math
... playing a set of numbers in an interactive combat boardgame doesn't make him a horrible player.
And yet, he somehow found his way onto this thread, so ...
You mean like calling someone a horrible/bad DM because they choose to add something into their games that you disagree with?
Yep - he belongs in this thread just as much as the Numbers Guy, or the DM's Wife, or The Party Thief, or ...
Yep - he belongs in this thread just as much as the Numbers Guy, or the DM's Wife, or The Party Thief, or ...
Incorrect, he would belong in a 'The 101 worst DMS to ever have in a game' thread(provided of course that someone wanted to add him/her as their addition/opinion).
----
I apologise for my previous off topic posts, here is my addition to this thread.
The WoW Crowd
These players want it easy. Nothing bad should ever happen to their characters at all. They should always be victorious in any combat, parley, roleplay, etc encounter with the least amount of effort. Should anything bad happen to a character(like heaven forbid they lose a body part), they immediately consider their character concept broken and unplayable. Rather than considering the event as a good roleplaying opportunity or finding their way into a temple and paying for a cleric/healer to cast regenerate. Should a DM try to add any 'realism' into his/her world, or make the possibility of good luck(critical hits, for example) come with the possibility of bad luck(critical misses/fumbles, for example), or even try to challenge his/her players with difficult encounters, that DM is immediately accused of trying to punish players and is labeled as a horrible DM. These types of players often give someone the impression that they'd be much happier playing a game like World of Warcraft.
The LOTR/WoW RPer
Steals many pages from Lord of Cliche's book with his tree-hugging elves and sneaky halfling rogues. Every wizard will be a tall old man with a gray beard and a staff named Gandalf. Every dwarf will be some variant of the name Gimli (like Bimli), however, IMO, it is even worse when they do WoW stuff. At that point they tend to think that WoW lore and DnD lore are the same thing, they love to play honorable orc warriors named Thrall, and act all high-and-mighty towards anyone who reminds them that the lore is different for DnD. His quotes tend to include things like "No, orcs are honorable warriors, unlike those racist human bastards!" and "Stop calling me Corsos the Minotaur, I am Thrakin the Tauren shaman."
Ooh, ooh, I have one!
The Fanboy DM: Has a soft spot for a particular thing, be it game, setting, race, character, or trinket, and will strive to incorporate them, no matter what rules they need to come up with, into their campaigns. Fairly harmless, but they might get annoying when the twelfth reference to a running joke from some obscure cult following show pops up. Can be bad if they took a liking to a particularly epic fantasy character and want to incorporate him as a famous superpowered NPC (see the Elminster Problem).
Guilty as charged: I've stolen the tauren for almost every campaign since my short time on WoW. No, I'm not a Warcraft fan, Thrall can take a bus and the rest of Azeroth can burn for all I care. I just like my tauren. I also add some hints of flavor derived from my other interests, but I feel that DMs are free to derive their ideas from their surroundings to create something new and different.
WoW Fanatic
"You might want to try Orcs, Minotaurs or maybe a Elf"
"Hey Bob, that's just like WoW"
"Yes, it's kind of similar, but a completely different game."
The WoW fanatic will find every little thing in D&D that reminds him of WoW and point it out. It disrupts everyone when he starts comparing Tauren to Minotaurs when the other players want him to make a Dungeons & Dragon character and just shut up. It seem that his life revolves around the game, because he is constantly jabbering about how the D&D quest is like So-and-so the Orc Warrior's quest to kill 10 night elves!
Yes, I've gamed with him.
Ug, Tymora forbid you ever game with the
WoW Fanatic
"You might want to try Orcs, Minotaurs or maybe a Elf"
"Hey Bob, that's just like WoW"
"Yes, it's kind of similar, but a completely different game."
The WoW fanatic will find every little thing in D&D that reminds him of WoW and point it out. It disrupts everyone when he starts comparing Tauren to Minotaurs when the other players want him to make a Dungeons & Dragon character and just shut up. It seem that his life revolves around the game, because he is constantly jabbering about how the D&D quest is like So-and-so the Orc Warrior's quest to kill 10 night elves!
Yes, I've gamed with him.
I know your pain, friend, since I tried to introduce my cousins (avid WoW kids) to the game.
"So here we have this fantasy world with elves and orcs and minotaurs..."
"You mean like Azeroth?"
"Err, I suppose. Anyway, you pick a class and level it up. See, this is a cleric..."
"He sounds a lot like a Priest."
"I... I suppose he's like a priest. And we have fighter, ranger, wizard..."
"Warrior, hunter, and mage?"
"... You know what? Screw it. Let's run RFK again. *sigh*"
lol, "... You know what? Screw it. Let's run RFK again. *sigh*"
The Dreamer
The Dreamer was playing when all of a sudden he noticed something extremely awesome about this campaign. It was so awesome, it gave him an idea... for his own adventure! So inspired, he spends his spare time jotting down notes for his own campaign in a notebook.
The Dreamer slowly but surely becomes utterly detached from the game at hand because he's too busy working on his own. He is constantly whispering to other players and showing them sneak previews because he's so friggin' excited about his upcoming adventure.
Ultimately, he stops caring about his character, because whether or not he dies is irrelevant -- he just can't wait for his turn to DM.
I think if we were to take a vote, the number one worst player type would be WoW variants, closely followed by anime variants. Ah, so there IS justice in the world...
The Dreamer
The Dreamer was playing when all of a sudden he noticed something extremely awesome about this campaign. It was so awesome, it gave him an idea... for his own adventure! So inspired, he spends his spare time jotting down notes for his own campaign in a notebook.
The Dreamer slowly but surely becomes utterly detached from the game at hand because he's too busy working on his own. He is constantly whispering to other players and showing them sneak previews because he's so friggin' excited about his upcoming adventure.
Ultimately, he stops caring about his character, because whether or not he dies is irrelevant -- he just can't wait for his turn to DM.
These SUCK. Often he tries to derail the current campaign just to get it to be over so he can start his own.
But worse...
The Fashionista
This player is focused so much on being some sort of mental icon to themselves that they spend time between combats thinking on how they want to have their Cleric's robes dyed or their Blackguard's armor spiked. They often sit on a laptop in MS Paint or similar software designing themselves. The female variant of this player tends to log into her favorite shopping websites and cut and paste different outfits from images.
Sadly, there are only two times where you can really identify this kind of player.
1: The player will suddenly interrupt EVERYTHING, spinning a laptop screen around and showing everyone what their character looks like. "OMG, isn't she HOT.....". This does, however, present the DM a fun opportunity to smack the behavior down.
"Umm, the skirt is cute, but not only would it be entirely covered by your leather armor, but punk-indie-goth stores don't exist yet. The closest thing you could find is a torn rag and some dire hedgehog quills poked through a cotton strip. "
2: The player will spend a small eternity on character description. This occurs often when your player is a little...focused on being female, or if you have a particular insecure person who uses their character to be everything they wish they were IRL.
DM: OK, you've met. Describe yourselves off your character sheets.
Player 1: You see a dark haired human man wearing a chain shirt and coif. he has a scar on his right cheek and looks like he knows how to handle himself.
Player 2: You see a buxom half-elf woman who, despite her endowments, has a tight waist and firm stomach. She has a pair of boots that look very much in season, and they have daggers stuck in the buckles. There are little skulls carved out of steel on the toes. Her leather armor fits quite tightly and accents her milky white skin. She's very beautiful, and her forceful personality is plain in her gorgeous violet eyes. Her sword is jewel encrusted and has a big letter "B" in common on the butt of the pommel. It is curved and has little pink rhinestones in the handguard. She smells like daisies. Now, on to her quiver..."
The Fashionista
...
2: The player will spend a small eternity on character description. This occurs often when your player is a little...focused on being female, or if you have a particular insecure person who uses their character to be everything they wish they were IRL.
...
Bwahahaha I once played with someone who was WAAAY too into RP, and was developing Fashionista tendencies. My assassin interrupted him during his long introduction, and said, "I only need to know two things about your character: Race, so I know which poisons to use; and the material of your armor, so I know whether it is flammable and/or stab-able. Your other details are irrelevant."
Got dirty looks from all at the table for about an hour, but it was worth it. No more fashionista!
#65; the Twit.
Upper-middle to Upper class? check. Bored out of his skull between girlfriends and new cars? check. Has an insanely rich family? check. Related to top politicians? check. Knows how to play D&D? umm...nah. But they like it anyway. Which is too bad, seeing as how the only thing they contribute is "I could get someone to redecorate your gaming room" and "My new GF is sooo hot!" Only ever play rich dilettantes. Bards, Rogues with high Diplomacy and Charisma, and so on.
(They do have the money for the more expensive books and props... every bad thing has a light side.
I more or less fall into this streotype, so does my favourite DM. I had no idea we were a common D&D demographic lol.
It doesn't matter what the rest of the party is doing.
It doesn't matter that other people are in the middle of a conversation or a skill challenge or working out a puzzle or discussing clues.
It doesn't matter that the DM is mid-conversation with another player, trying to answer their questions.
No, what matters, what, really, absolutely, truly matters, is that the DM mentioned that the castle has guards with halberds or a moat or a dining hall as he was narrating the group being brought in for an audience with the King, and NOTHING is so important right now as The Dread SporkFinder interrupting so his character can run off (literally) and interrogate Joe Random Guard, investigate the moat do see what kind of crocodiles (or goldfish) they have, or raid the kitchen for silverware.
Nobody else is allowed to finish a sentence until he gets an answer, and he will *never* accept "It's a very uninteresting spork" - because if it wasn't CRITICAL that he interact with it RIGHT NOW, while everyone else waits and watches, why would it have been mentioned at all?
If you get wise to his habits and there isn't a minor irrelevant detail mentioned, he'll interrupt to ask about various things until he finds one. And then he's off.
The Mad Sleeper
Sleeps.
Or stares at the ceiling.
Or participates in the game and is apparently paying attention until it's time to *do* anything with what just happened, at which point the last ten minutes need to be recapped, all the way from "Wait, where are we and who was that guy we just struck a deal with? What deal did we make? Why did we do that?" on forward.
Mind Like A Steel Trap
... anything that goes in gets mangled.
Never pays attention to description, even when asking specifically about something. Will be told that there's a stone statue of a warrior, and two sentences later will be trying to take the armor off the "armor stand" and wear it. Will be told that he can't see into a room from here because there's a blind corner and then a closed door, and a minute later will ask about what he needs to do to break the horrible magic barrier of evil that's blocking LOS into that room.
Has been known to, every two minutes, repeatedly, say "Oh, hey, my Feat gives bonus defenses to person X!" despite being told, again and again, every time, "No, it doesn't. That only applies to adjacent people, and, since they haven't moved and you haven't moved, they're STILL NOT ADJACENT."
These SUCK. Often he tries to derail the current campaign just to get it to be over so he can start his own.
But worse...
The Fashionista
This player is focused so much on being some sort of mental icon to themselves that they spend time between combats thinking on how they want to have their Cleric's robes dyed or their Blackguard's armor spiked. They often sit on a laptop in MS Paint or similar software designing themselves. The female variant of this player tends to log into her favorite shopping websites and cut and paste different outfits from images.
Sadly, there are only two times where you can really identify this kind of player.
1: The player will suddenly interrupt EVERYTHING, spinning a laptop screen around and showing everyone what their character looks like. "OMG, isn't she HOT.....". This does, however, present the DM a fun opportunity to smack the behavior down.
"Umm, the skirt is cute, but not only would it be entirely covered by your leather armor, but punk-indie-goth stores don't exist yet. The closest thing you could find is a torn rag and some dire hedgehog quills poked through a cotton strip. "
2: The player will spend a small eternity on character description. This occurs often when your player is a little...focused on being female, or if you have a particular insecure person who uses their character to be everything they wish they were IRL.
DM: OK, you've met. Describe yourselves off your character sheets.
Player 1: You see a dark haired human man wearing a chain shirt and coif. he has a scar on his right cheek and looks like he knows how to handle himself.
Player 2: You see a buxom half-elf woman who, despite her endowments, has a tight waist and firm stomach. She has a pair of boots that look very much in season, and they have daggers stuck in the buckles. There are little skulls carved out of steel on the toes. Her leather armor fits quite tightly and accents her milky white skin. She's very beautiful, and her forceful personality is plain in her gorgeous violet eyes. Her sword is jewel encrusted and has a big letter "B" in common on the butt of the pommel. It is curved and has little pink rhinestones in the handguard. She smells like daisies. Now, on to her quiver..."
Heh, I have an odd fascination with thinking up nifty outfits and weapon appearances for my characters, but other than that, I'm not much of a fashionista.
Mind Like A Steel Trap
... anything that goes in gets mangled.
Oh that is the WORST! Our party has one of those. Unfortunately that player is also the ranger/scout. The same player is also this type:
We make an ASS of U and ME
The Assumer
This character will look at the plot, and love how things are going. They then will think to themselves "It would be intriguing if X were to happen" And then continue on to relay X as a fact to the rest of the party.
Ex:
The mayor asks the party to find out why everyone is getting sick. The Assumer decides that it would be epic if the mayor was poisoning the food/water supply because he is in league with the parties current BBEG. The Assumer reports to the party saying that they found out the mayor is in league with BBEG (hoping the DM will also think this is cool and actually make it true). The party later finds out that this is not the case.
These SUCK. Often he tries to derail the current campaign just to get it to be over so he can start his own.
But worse...
The Fashionista
This player is focused so much on being some sort of mental icon to themselves that they spend time between combats thinking on how they want to have their Cleric's robes dyed or their Blackguard's armor spiked. They often sit on a laptop in MS Paint or similar software designing themselves. The female variant of this player tends to log into her favorite shopping websites and cut and paste different outfits from images.
Sadly, there are only two times where you can really identify this kind of player.
1: The player will suddenly interrupt EVERYTHING, spinning a laptop screen around and showing everyone what their character looks like. "OMG, isn't she HOT.....". This does, however, present the DM a fun opportunity to smack the behavior down.
"Umm, the skirt is cute, but not only would it be entirely covered by your leather armor, but punk-indie-goth stores don't exist yet. The closest thing you could find is a torn rag and some dire hedgehog quills poked through a cotton strip. "
2: The player will spend a small eternity on character description. This occurs often when your player is a little...focused on being female, or if you have a particular insecure person who uses their character to be everything they wish they were IRL.
DM: OK, you've met. Describe yourselves off your character sheets.
Player 1: You see a dark haired human man wearing a chain shirt and coif. he has a scar on his right cheek and looks like he knows how to handle himself.
Player 2: You see a buxom half-elf woman who, despite her endowments, has a tight waist and firm stomach. She has a pair of boots that look very much in season, and they have daggers stuck in the buckles. There are little skulls carved out of steel on the toes. Her leather armor fits quite tightly and accents her milky white skin. She's very beautiful, and her forceful personality is plain in her gorgeous violet eyes. Her sword is jewel encrusted and has a big letter "B" in common on the butt of the pommel. It is curved and has little pink rhinestones in the handguard. She smells like daisies. Now, on to her quiver..."
Ok, I'm totally guilty of this, it's gotten to the point where other players just call me fancy pants instead or trying to learn my character's name.
(3.5 specialty)
Heavy armor, big hitpoints, large sword, terrified of getting hurt. Usually hides behind the wizard or rogue. Never attacks anything more dangerous then a Kobold.
Whines when he is stripped of his Paladin powers in the second session.
During the next campaign, after running around powerless half the time, makes the exact same Paladin again. Repeat story.
The Mad Sleeper
Sleeps.
Or stares at the ceiling.
Or participates in the game and is apparently paying attention until it's time to *do* anything with what just happened, at which point the last ten minutes need to be recapped, all the way from "Wait, where are we and who was that guy we just struck a deal with? What deal did we make? Why did we do that?" on forward.
The Spell List of Infinite Pwnage links to this. I have a player that has done this a LOT...."Did I cast Create Water today? Which Kobolds are left?"
DM: "Yes...and the Kobolds were 5 combats ago."
Mind Like A Steel Trap
... anything that goes in gets mangled.
Yet again, the same player. I gave her a background bonus of 1 additional damage against all creatures with a humanoid subtype on a successful melee or ranged attack. It's 8 levels later and she still asks if everything with legs is a humanoid.
You know the guy who asks if something will work, is told "no, that's not how it works" - and then tries it anyway?
Repeatedly?
There's a dungeon full of undead. Some of the undead are skeletons. Some of the undead are controllers who *raise* the skeletons over and over again until you kill the controller. This player is the one who will *constantly*, every single time, say "The skeleton is down? I take its femurs and throw them across the room so it can't walk when it's raised!" or "I blast the pile of inert bones so it has damage when it rises again!", despite this having never worked before and the DM, the other players, and random passersby telling him that this didn't work the last two dozen times, so why does he think it will work now? The skeleton can get back up after being incinerated, crushed with hammers, annihilated with divine holy undead-killing light, or having large rocks dropped on its head - what makes you think a single bone being missing is going to slow it down?
Similar examples include "I use Thievery to steal his pants!" tried over and over again while the target of the Thievery is smashing the crap out of another party member and they really just want the Rogue to move to flank and maybe, just maybe, do some damage, and the ever-classic "Tenser's Floating Disk moves to follow me. Does it come with me when I teleport?" "No. But it will float to your new location" "Okay! I teleport through the narrow gap and continue riding my disk along!" "It DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT" - repeated every time his Fey Step recharges, for an entire session.
Ok, yeah, could we please take this feud back to the houserule threads that have already been cancered by it? I mean that towards both sides of the superfluous argument.
We're on time...just not the right time
You get to a session, ready to game, but wait, there seems to be someone missing. It's this guy/these guys. What's worse, they are late to every session, by roughly the same amount of time every time. With such precision, you'd think they'd figure things out and start arriving on time. They don't, and the reason why is a mystery...
We have a guy like this but we know that his bus schedule is awkward so we let it go. He's never that late.
I'm afraid I'm guilty of...
Not reading the group
Person who roleplays in a dungeon-crawler group, or vice versa. I'm the former sort. I only started playing pen-and-paper after about eight years of not playing. I'm playing a character called Ali ben Yusuf, a dervish of Anu. Problem is, I seem to be playing him like I'm an Al-Qaeda operative...and the other players are standard fantasy characters, and I'm going on about how I won't touch the "pagan" or "heathen" altars which form the only way of getting a water supply back to our settlements, or looking for occult symbols - in a pyramid of an ancient pharaoh. The others are telling me not to be silly because we are in a world where all the gods actually exist and... I guess the DM should not have showed me the two paragraphs on dervishes and Anu in the book and just left me to assume I was existing in a polytheistic world.
He's an NPC - I joined the group halfway through an adventure too isolated to introduce a regular PC into - but I've got to try not to RP so much until we get back to civilisation and I can see how the others RP - or not as the case may be.
The character I'm working on - high CHA, low WIS, sorcerer/fighter (3.5e) - on the other hand is developing into a version of the Red Dwarfer Arnold Rimmer...I hope I don't turn out to be a problem player myself!