I wish I was joking.
RE the ring of reverse gender: Reminds me of some Cure Serious potions I got once. Course that character was good about taking setbacks in stride, so he (she) just found a full-length mirror to ogle him/herself in and had a grand time.
Beyond that, anything from 1st edition was evil. Instant kill cursed items guaranteed you tried nothing on until you had a chance to sit and identify 'em (cept those girdles of gender bending, since players were always convinced they'd found a girdle of giant strength. Never failed that someone would put it right on and ask, 'do i feel any different.') :D Yep, you sure do...
"Yes, it was a ring of feather falling when the NPC was wearing it, but it spontaneously turns into a ring of reverse gender when you put it on. And it's cursed so you can't remove it"
I wish I was joking.
Sounds like a case of doucebag DM.
Dandelo, the shortsword. It can talk, but it is brash, loud, and annoying. It has a -2 to attack and damage, If its sundered, it reforms itself. If thrown away, it returns to your hand. It will not let you draw any other weapons. The only way to get rid of it, is if it is exchanged willingly. And my rogue currently has this weapon
Actually, that one is easy. Just search yourself some commoner and pay him a few hundred GP (= more GP than he will ever see in the rest of his life) to willingly exchange it with you...
But we got this ancient skull, supposedly from a paladin of olden time. It was supposed to withhold a lot of his knowledge and would help us on our journey by imparting that through its speech capabilities.
It never did this once, nor did it ever say anything paladinly, or even wise. Rather, the DM just made it insult all the NPC's we came across, or talk very loudly when we were trying to sneak around.
We threw it in a river after two sessions. If anybody needs an artifact skull, it's in a river somewhere.
It was a ring of flight.
With my ring, I could fly perfectly any distance. Unfortunately, it was also intelligent, and a jerk. I had to convince it to let me fly, and if it generally didn't like me, it could simply take flight on it's own, with me attached.
Naturally, it couldn't be removed.
In a 2E game I ran, I handed out a Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity (the gender-switching belt) to punish a player for lots of meta-game decision making. Back in 2E, the Girdle of Giant Strength was a lot more powerful, and it was coveted by him. So, at the sight of a girdle in the treasure pile, he assumed it must be the item he wanted, so he rushed over to it, grabbed it, and put it on (as opposed to waiting to have it identified). He lost all interst in the character after that.
RE Dandelo: You're a rogue. Bluff is your friend. Exchange it willingly with someone who believes it does something else
the sword won't let me!! It shouts and protests!
Oh yeah, almost forgot this one, The cloak of unending flatulence! It does exactly as its name implies, and provides massive charisma and hide check penalties!
If it is true flatulence, you could use it to get a random bonus to the Jump skill ... you just have to time it *just* right ...
Some years ago our sorcerer and ranger went shopping in an obscure bazar, looking for anything magical.( sorc had detect magic active).
What they finally bought( for an overall of 4000 GP = 80% of their combined treasure) were:
a "Magical Quarterstaff" that activated every 30 minutes(or whenever they tried to do something silently) to sing a stupid song or do some oratory in an Radio Eriwan style-bad accent
and a kind of magical "Talisman " that could be hung around the neck which had the abilty to be virtually unbreakable( DMs ruling : everything magical is indestructible by mundane force).
So we had our unbreakable doorstopper...
We were all new to D&D and started at level one. We found a cursed blade that bestowed a negative level. The DM didn't know until one of the players told him that we were only level 1 and a negative level would mean death. So the player picking up the sword died... as to which a fellow party member responded "I pick up the blade and throw it away". Yeah.
I'd have picked up that fumble and run with it. In the DMG it says (admittedly this is in the section on Energy Drain, but I think it's still appropriate)
A character with negative levels at least equal to her current level, or drained below 1st level, is instantly slain. Depending on the creature that killed her, she may rise the next night as a monster of that kind. If not, she rises as a wight.
A party including some (or all) wights might make for a fun unusual adventure.
Weird ones too, like the character can't touch or handle electrum (white gold, used as a coin type in first edition)
And there is a share of cursed items, which we run into ALL THE TIME cause identify's are 500g in his game (down from 1,000 which it used to be)
He strongly believes that (as he believe Gygax intended) items should be figured out by USE instead of just magically known about, so the poor player has to use the sword before figuring out what it does and whetehr it is cursed or whatever. We have a frustrating time figuring out command words on wands.
Rings are cursed half the time (guy loves his Tolkien methinks). One caused one character's hair to grow to absurd cousin It length (And being a magical curse, normal hair cutting wouldnt work). One ring increases charisma, but causes the wearer to become paranoid about the ring. One was a +5 protection ring but any divination spell cast upon the character would work without fail (we sold it so you can imagine what kind of campaign it is). Many of the weapons we find would have benefits but would have the stipulation that the character not carry any other weapons. Most of his curses are more goofy and annoying than actual curses.
I'd have picked up that fumble and run with it. In the DMG it says (admittedly this is in the section on Energy Drain, but I think it's still appropriate)A party including some (or all) wights might make for a fun unusual adventure.
If we just knew that back then... :p
In an old 2E game, my fighter got a -3 Bastard Sword, that was basically glued to my hand. Luckily, I was using it one-handed, and I could use a dagger in my left hand with no penalties so long as I wasn't actually using the sword.
In a 2E game I ran, I handed out a Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity (the gender-switching belt) to punish a player for lots of meta-game decision making. Back in 2E, the Girdle of Giant Strength was a lot more powerful, and it was coveted by him. So, at the sight of a girdle in the treasure pile, he assumed it must be the item he wanted, so he rushed over to it, grabbed it, and put it on (as opposed to waiting to have it identified). He lost all interst in the character after that.
I like to joke around with my boyfriend a lot and give him items like this, i also found a ring of feather fall (cursed to change one's gender) and he's petrified of anything girly or being turned to a female character.. hmmmm... i have to say i like cursed items :D i have put this girdle,the ring,random cursed incenses that change genders, all kinds of things. i usualy hand them out to my players when they tend to get really snippy at me or something.. or just to have some good ol' fun :D
*except for common consumables such as healing potions
The sword was a +2 berserker. If you dropped it or you were disarmed, the next time you started your arm swing to attack, the sword would appear in your hand. Pretty cool except that he had to keep attacking 1) until all foes were down 2) he couldn't use any other weapon 3) if he saw enemies, he had to make a will save to avoid breaking cover and attacking. 4) The curse would not be broken until after a Remove Curse was applied followed immediately by a Heal.
The player actually used this cursed sword to his advantage. He would lay the sword outside in a horse trough or bury it and walk around unarmed! Of course, as soon as he attacked the sword would appear. People in the area started to call him "Ghost Sword". Pretty cool.
)The sword was a +2 berserker. If you dropped it or you were disarmed, the next time you started your arm swing to attack, the sword would appear in your hand. Pretty cool except that he had to keep attacking 1) until all foes were down 2) he couldn't use any other weapon 3) if he saw enemies, he had to make a will save to avoid breaking cover and attacking. 4) The curse would not be broken until after a Remove Curse was applied followed immediately by a Heal.
The player actually used this cursed sword to his advantage. He would lay the sword outside in a horse trough or bury it and walk around unarmed! Of course, as soon as he attacked the sword would appear. People in the area started to call him "Ghost Sword". Pretty cool.
Sounds very familiar. There was a 2e Ravenloft book with some of the lords statted out in it. One was a crazy werewolf guy. He had a cursed berserking bastard sword that was pretty much the same thing as the one you mention. He frequently left it behind and would approach travelers in his domain unarmed. And then hack them to bits with the sword. Good stuff.
...
That caused your first critical success of the day to count as a critical failure.
The best part, by far, was that the PC who got it managed to get himself (and his gear) disintegrated before it ever came up, two sessions later. It was only post-character death that I told him that the armor was cursed and what it would have done.
In a game I was playing, the wizard gish (ok, I ranted and raved about this character in an ancient thread, no sense getting into it again) came into posession of the 'Bloody Head of the Reaper' or 'Black Hood' (depending on how lazy our GM was feeling at the moment). For every person you killed while wearing it, your Strength went up by 1, which would fade if the hood was taken off.
That's it.
That was the curse.
It only worked by killing. It in no way forced you to kill, or only worked when you killed the innocent or the good. The 'curse' was that the GM narrated people as thinking he looked strange and frightening, and that it made him feel spooky sometimes. By the time he gave it away (yes, gave it away. No, not for a particularly good reason. Don't get me started on this wizard) it was giving him a flat +25 to strength.
...
His Gish still sucked. But so did the 'curse' on that item.
Basically a Deck of Many Things with all the good stuff taken out.
Spread the word! I want this Post to grow! :evillaugh
1) "magical" crossbow that shoots green bolts (4d6 250ft range.) The curse? Random stat reduction every 2 shots. Yeah... radiation sickness sucks.
2) Cloak of Useless Items. Course, the DM didn't expect us to find a use for the "Left half of a ladder" or the "3 inches of hempen rope" lol
3) Explosive bag of holding. Every time you opened it the bag would launch it's contents with considerable force. When emptied it worked normally. Used it to enter a lockdowned castle and when we started storing boulders in it to be used like an Anti-Monster Onager, the DM had a lesser diety steal it back.
So much good times. 1 and 3 were both in 2e. 2 was in 2 and 3.5e (DM sure does love that one. And so do I!
So as soon as my Scimitar was enhanced with this spirit, a pulsing sound echoed from it. The old man backed away slowly... The blade turned "dark as night" and another heartbeat thud came from it. At this point we ran about 5 miles out of the village and set up camp. The next morning the Scimitar was outside of my tent saying "I am Full" (the town was now non-existant). I tried to throw the sword away, it stuck in my hand. Whenever i used the swords powers (AWESOME POWERS!) I would be cursed (little to my knowledge until I found out I couldn't get out of Wolf Form). Turned out the Spirit that was imbued was a Bastard Son of Io... He turned out to be the final boss of the campaign.
I created a cursed item for my campaign I am currently running. In a big pile of gold, half of the gold will make loud sounds while you eat. Ex. "MMMMM" "mhum" "chewing noise"...I roll a percentage in secret to see if they get rid of any when they buy something, and then half of what they exchange is cursed gold. My players still dont know what is doing it, and it is driving them crazy. They didnt think of casting detect magic.
I think it's so simple that it's Brilliant!
I was laughing so hard when I read your post.
I think it's so simple that it's Brilliant!
I was laughing so hard when I read your post.
Thanks. It was a rare moment of brilliance. Feel free to use it if you want. I like cursed items that are more funny, or annoying, than detrimental, or if they are bad, they have some unique effect. The gold is actually real gold btw, it just annoys them.
(Honestly, who starts up an assassination business by spreading flyers saying "Put target in a cookie jar by the glade outside the southern city gate"?)
I don't want this thread to die.
Well, it happened that we entered in a zone of wild magic (FRCS). Now the then DM used wild magic as something that did strange things not only to spells, but even to magic items: too often he used it to change the few magic treasure he gave to us into something silly. Well, that time he made this greatsword (which I came to consider "my" greatsword) pink.
Yes.
Pink.
Me [seeing he didn't roll]: "Well, when did you roll for this?"
DM: "Back at home."
Me: "Fine. Surely you'll have the die result on paper? Can I see it? Surely you had a table of die rolls for this."
DM: "It's all in my head."
I think the word "hatred" can be used properly here.
Oh, yes, I didn't mention why he did so: we, as a group, refused to do a secondary quest he had planned. We were focused on the main quest (which was freeing his PC: me and him used to switch roles as DMs and that time the excuse for his character's absence was that he had been taken by the Zhentarim). Well, since we weren't willing to follow his side-quest, he made us enter in this wild magic zone (while we were walking along a street in Zhentil Keep [don't ask why people around wasn't explodig, even if everyone in the world, from the demi-god to the lowest of peons seemed to have tons of magic more than us]). Guess what was the only way to restore our items back to normal?
If you answered "doing the F#@$ing side-quest" you got it right. You win nothing, but still you can brag about having guessed that.
Railroading anyone?
I swear, I had to win a DC100 Will ST in order to avoid a good session of LARPing in which I played a Frenzied Berserker and the DM the to-be-beaten-to-death (tbbtd) cobold.
Dandelo, the shortsword. It can talk, but it is brash, loud, and annoying. It has a -2 to attack and damage, If its sundered, it reforms itself. If thrown away, it returns to your hand.
Try cutting off your hands so it has nothing to return to after you drop it, and do that while in a public place where someone else will pick up the sword. You now have no hands, but no sword either.
Or, cut off your hands with the sword still in them, then get a regeneration or something cast on you in order to regrow your hands. If the sword never left your old hand, it will stay in that hand as opposed to coming back to your new hands. Or at least I would hope it would.
Worst cursed item? A Deck of Many things that forced anyone that looked at it to make a DC 25 will save or draw from it. You had to make the save every day until you either failed, or willingly drew from the deck. If you willingly drew, you only had to draw one card, but if you failed the save you had to draw two. Naturally, the cards were modified. The good cards were slightly better, but the bad cards were worse.
Of course, after we found it, I rolled a natural 1 on my will save, the only way that I could fail. I then used an item that let me reroll a failed save once per day, and naturally got another natural 1. I ended up with a magic rod and -2 to my saves that couldn't be removed without the direct intervention of a greater deity. 10 years later, I made the save, and elected to only draw one. Gained a level from it.
Still, I hated the fact that we HAD to draw from the deck, as I really, really, really didn't want to.
Bard of mine failed to cast ID on the girdle of F/M, but made a badric lore check, claimed it to be a girdle of beauty, and kept it for a while. Eventualy He bought some womens clothes and went on an assassination mission, cast sleep on the sleeping noble, coup de grais, slipped on the girdle, left the former bards clothing behind with some fireplace ash looking like he was disintegrated. Later a chambermaid with a full chamberpot exited the kings room.
Barbarian drank a poisoned healing potion, made the saving throw, and blew chunks. Claimed he would never trust dwarving healing again.
Lets see, druid aquired a cursed spear of backbiting, and I asked the DM if I used the spear to attack a thief when he used back stab upon me, DM thought it was funny, but said no.
those are the ones off the top of my head: as for cursed items I've used on players...
A beautiful nordic helm with long curling horns and an amazingly intricate labrynth etched upon the surface. ID spell revealed a divination enchantment upon it so the dwarf puts it on, he had permanent find the path cast upon himself and new exactly how many stept it took to get out of the dundgeon. So, we leave the ruins and as soon as he is in the full sunlight, he turned into a minotaur.
Or in his case, a mini-taur.
Greataxe: 10-foot pole
Heavy Mace: Double mace
Black lotus extract, Dandelo, and an Idol: A black angel that cursed my rogue (Every gold piece I picked up turned to copper)
Wisdom poison flimsily disguised as soap: Defeated the angel and showered copper pieces.
---EDIT---
this isn't something i've ever encountered but its so fun to give to a rogue
2) sword of screaching / swearing
everytime the sword is draw it screams endlassly or swears or insults you like "my grandmother could hit better then that"
3) DM: *you see a sword with an engraving its very small as if it was crafted by a fey" "what do you do?"
Me: "i look close to see if i can read this text
DM: "It Says..... Prepared Explosive Runes This Morning and you take 6d6 damage"
Then again campaign, all three sessions of it, sucked quite a bit.
1)
3) DM: *you see a sword with an engraving its very small as if it was crafted by a fey" "what do you do?"
Me: "i look close to see if i can read this text
DM: "It Says..... Prepared Explosive Runes This Morning and you take 6d6 damage"
DON´T TELL ME! THE DM´S NAME WAS... VAARSUVIUS!
The helm though, it pretty much meant your character was done with. If you have a good party and are suddenly evil, you are out. Same the other way. Quite often you can loose your class even. If it was a temporary effect (you can't take it off, or are compelled to wear it, and the effect was only when it was on) then it could be a fun cursed item, but because it could only be ridded by wish, it was just nasty
edit: maybe that's why I've never actually seen that item in a campaign, but I hated it anyway
Dandelo, the shortsword. It can talk, but it is brash, loud, and annoying. It has a -2 to attack and damage, If its sundered, it reforms itself. If thrown away, it returns to your hand. It will not let you draw any other weapons. The only way to get rid of it, is if it is exchanged willingly. And my rogue currently has this weapon
get a wizard to craft a sheath that casts silence on the weapon for as long as it is sheathed and 1 minute after. Then bluff and sell, sword only of course ;)
Except when I got smart and cast Curse on myself. Then the DM just ruled that I died.
Our DM, Realms of Chaos. Improved the belt of Gender Changing. It disappears after you put it on while the effects remain, and a successful fortitude save renders you genderless.
I don’t think that is an improvement. The main reason to curse some one is to have them try to get uncursed. This takes away the possibility.
In short it made my rogue do whatever I as a player might say OOC.
There was a whole collection of items made by this (in)famous crafter in another game that were basically solely designed to be annoying. Very powerful, for the most part, and they generally had useful, unique effects on them that other items tended not to have, but they'd always have some embarrassing or silly effect attached to them, like making your character's hair turn hot pink or telling a random NPC each day that your character is interested in them.
Really, I think the best cursed items are those that are silly, but arguably useful, since the players enjoy them just as much as the DM does.
One of my players (who NEVER plays casters) has a policy for dealing with cursed items. This strategy is below.
DM: You find a ring buried amid the ruins and rubble in the cavern
PC: I put the ring on
DM: ok.
PC: Do I feel stronger or smarter or anything?
DM: NO
PC: I try to pull the ring off
DM: It doesn't come off.
PC: Crap... whats the curse?
and he'll do this with ANY item as a test for if it's cursed or not lol
My first curse item was a ring of glowing.It was a ring that doesnt make anything exept glow in the dark and because my caracter was a rogue it was kinda anoying.
Ok i have to ask something... in wich book do you find the deck of many thing?
DMG. Minor artifacts section.
I haven't used any cursed items in my games up to this point, but after reading this thread...I think I will.
DMG. Minor artifacts section.
Which is the wrong place to put that item, but unfortunately the DMG doesn't have a "Do not use" section.
Which is the wrong place to put that item, but unfortunately the DMG doesn't have a "Do not use" section.
No, that's the perfect place to put it. It's only a couple pages away from the sphere of annihilation; those two items go perfectly with one another. ;)
get a wizard to craft a sheath that casts silence on the weapon for as long as it is sheathed and 1 minute after. Then bluff and sell, sword only of course ;)
No, the thing to do is to take it with you to a large city. When you get there find a beggar, preferably the poorest, sorriest, drunkest beggar you can find and give him the sword. If he refuses pay him some ridiculous fee to take the sword. When the beggar takes the money and the sword you, being the clever rogue you are, hit him with your sap and take your money back.
Tysedious: The Talking Staff of Passage. It wouldn't stop going on and on about mephits.
I did once manage to slip a player a Ring of Bureaucratic Wizardry(2nd ed Tome of Magic) It identified as a Ring of Wizardry.
I also put a Ring of Invisibility that causes the character to luminesce when invisible into a recently acquired dragon's hoard. I'm hoping it'll either go to the rogue or the shadowcaster.
I generated this randomly (roll treasure randomly etc.)
I got an intelligent staff and we had a party mage who used quarterstaffs so im thinking 'oh cool a good item for player x'
yea. it had 4 INT, 5 WIS and 4 CHA.
lol. it couldn't talk vocally or telepathically, it could only vaugely make it's emotions felt. I don't remember what it's specific powers were but they weren't game breaking or nothing (around level 4 or so the pcs were)
and to top it all off it's alignment was so different from the mage using it that it dropped him by one level.
yet he felt it was a good enough item to take the 1 level hit.
consequently he lost about 5 wizards in ONE section of this dungon (fighting a giant spider), he'd get stuck int he web, die. roll up a new character and go charging back in after this 'amazing' staff.. get stuck in web. die.
lol he finally left it and that character lived on till they retired em.
He still hates it when we talk about it. >=D
Much to the DM's chagrin, we kept the helm. We would hogtie opponents and shove the helmet on their heads while holding something amusing in front of them. Warriors terrified of swords, a cleric afraid of his own holy symbol, that kind of stuff. We finally lost the item (read: DM regretted it and took it away) when we made some guy afraid of the ground. He broke away from us and it turned out he could really run. Not sure where he was running to where he would not see the ground (maybe off a cliff) but he was heading for the horizon last we saw of him and may have made it to the ocean.
We threw it in a river after two sessions. If anybody needs an artifact skull, it's in a river somewhere.
Put them on, they cut off and devour your hands.
Course, that was bad enough... but the person who found them was a halfling rogue with a wisdom you wouldn't apply to an inanimate object.
"Hey guys, come and see my chicken impersonation! Cluck cluck cl-"
Schlack!
"Urk!"
Chomp chomp...
"Birdy? What was that? ...Birdy..?"
Basically, the DM would sneak this little gem into a treasure pile when we were least expecting, and then he would turn to the poor bastard who put it on and say
"You lock up. Your character's eyes roll into the back of their head and your mind becomes solely focused on solving the helm's vexing question."
He would then give the person some horrific math question that he thinks up weeks in advance, to the point that we're all fairly sure that Einstein would be stumped.
As the poor sod would work it over in his head and continue to work, I think when he started whimpering and tugging on his hair the DM's heart grew three sizes that session, and finally let him roll a very easy saving throw.
Helm of Vexing: You have, more then any enemy, validated the existence of Disintegrate.
The Helm of Over 9000: The character is required to say "Over 9000!" whenever they try to give a numerical value. A major problem when buying horses.
Laxative arrows: Not really "Cursed" but try getting hit by these when fighting a horde of goblins.
The horn of Mating calls: Disguised as a horn of blasting, it would call a random creature that would start "having his way" with the one who blew the horn. Used once, and the creature happened to be an owlbear.
Rand's least favorite. Bracers of Contridiction: Would always say things like "No it isn't!" whenever the character insisted something.
Wand of empowered chain lightning: Everytime it was used, it would sing the entire lumberjack song. Mostly just annoying.
and perhaps the most terrifying of all.....
The sword of Ogre Defication: Disguised as the sword of Ogre Decapitation, when used, the Ogre would suffer no damage, and soil themselves. Anyone within 20' would have to make a fortitude save or spend a round vomiting, which provoked attacks of oppertunity.
Spread the word, post whatever humorous cursed items you find here! I want this post to grow!! :evillaugh
So I traded the halfling a magic staff with 3 charges on it for an intelligent magical axe named Relevan. A Chaotic Evil magic axe. With an Ego score probably in the high 30's. So I was Relevan's b*tch for a while. I tried to get rid of it...Relevan wouldn't leave. He was having too much FUN with me. It got REALLY bad when a misunderstanding with a group of guards got me into a fight I didn't want with the high guard. All I wanted to do was drop the Axe and end it, but I ended up decapitating the poor woman because the axe forced me to fight. Eventually, they managed to get me down, and had a Red Wizard of Thay cast remove curse on me. Naturally, the axe wanted to go with the Red Wizard. And, naturally, I got stuck with the blame for the axe making me run amok. Fun times.
As a DM, I haven't given out items that were so much cursed as they had drawbacks. The bard of our party, for instance, had the "misfortune" of being gifted with a Flame Tongue rapier (quickly renamed The Flaming Tongue) that made her vulnerable to cold attacks. Here is why this was funny: The player in question is a lesbian. She was given the Flaming Tongue by an NPC girlfriend. So throughout the entire campaign she had to endure jokes about being/using her Flaming Tongue. That, and this was 3.5 Vulnerability to cold, which meant damage-and-a-half from all cold-based attacks. There weren't that many, but they certainly were memorable for her.
Basically, it was a suit of +2 Chainmail that caused the wearer to be affected by the DM's custom Wizard spell: Hideous Debilitating Wedgie.
The spell (which my Wildmage was quite fond of casting) applied the following penalties: 1/2 movement, can't run or charge, 25% chance of losing an attack or spell, -2 AC.
My wildmage also ended up getting a Ring of Protection that also functioned as a Belt of Gender Changing, but I didn't have a problem with it. Heck, it was barely noticeable compared to my frequent wild surges.
Unfortunately, it could talk, was utterly tactless, and Would. Not. Ever. Shut. Up. Every time I tried to talk to someone peacefully, it would start insulting and/or threatening them.
In the middle of the second session with that stupid thing, I threw it into a lava pool and never looked back.
Oh yeah, almost forgot this one, The cloak of unending flatulence! It does exactly as its name implies, and provides massive charisma and hide check penalties!
My 4 month pregnant fey pact warlock got stuck with a mule that farts whenever something weighs it down (traumatized from abuse by previous owner). Now, I know it is not necessarily a cursed item, but she is stuck with it until the baby's born. I don't want to "give away/put to sleep" the poor thing.
(Luckily, our fighter purchased it for only 1 gold piece.)
The Red Shirt: Looks like a suit of +2 leather armor, but the first time the wearer gets into combat, it immediately changes into a red top with an odd triangular symbol on the chest. The wearer gets a -4 to AC, attracts projectiles as per the Shield of Arrow Attraction (but without the Shield's benefits), and all monsters of 3 or lower intelligence will attack the wearer instead of any other targets if they are able.
Now, since I don't actually believe in making players stuck with crap like that, I'd have made sure they got a scroll of Remove Curse within one or two fights after that.
Greaves of Arrow Attraction: +2 to AC, but any arrow within 100 feet of the wearer of the greaves that was fired would automatically fly towards me with a +4 bonus to their attack rolls.
Personally, I would have used that to my advantage:
Me: *climbs on top of a large crossbow bolt, one large enough for a human to ride* Fire me!
Guard: What!?
Me: Fire!
Guard: Ok... *pulls lever, arrow flies*
Me: *dangling my feet in front of the arrow tip, riding the thing like a flying carpet*
1> I once recieved (in 2nd ed) a Death Scarab, disguised as a scarab of protection. I put it on, it animated, I died.
2> Bag of Devouring. Thought we'd gotten a bag of holding, but about 10% of the time, when we went to pull something out, it was gone. Then, the DM was rolling dice behind the screen, and someone went to pull something out, and the DM made kind of a 'Whoomp!' noise, and told him his hand had been bitten off.
3> The Sword of Reincarnation. A +5 Vorpal Longsword. With a twist. The sword had also been enchanted with Reincarnation (Specified to use the most random table available), such that anything killed with the sword was subject to an instantaneous Reincarnation spell.
There was a fumble involved, and I forget the details, but this lead to the party cleric becoming an awakened cow. This was one of our sillier games.
This happened just a couple of weeks ago (our group is still playing 3.5) after a fight with a particularly tough blackguard, with a inteligent and very evil sword, which we had learned about from a conversations with a npc(we didnt know alignment). After the fight the conversation goes about as follows:
dwarf fighter (near full hp due to a potion)- i have over 100 hp, the odds that this sword kills me outright are really low and if i get cursed we have to go back to the temple anyway and we know the head cleric can cast miracle, so i pick it up
Me- who knows it could actually just be chaotic neutral
DM- ok... make a fort save
dwarf fighter- (rolls a 26) ok not bad
DM- u suffer (rolls dice) 26 points of damage and fall over unable to move due to severe pain
wizard- (only 6 hp left and standing next to the fighter) i pull it out of his hand!
DM- ... you die
the wizard then manages to persuade the DM that because she has to act quickly she need to make a reflex save to do so and that because the fighter thrashing about must also succeed on a touch attack to grab it. It was something like a dc 20 reflex save and 18 AC for the sword (not sure on the actual numbers) the wizard then proceeds to roll a 19 and a 20 respectivly.