You play yours and I'll play mine - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

You play yours and I'll play mine

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
sirkaikillah
Aug 12, 2009 17:49:02 Last night one of my players got annoyed at another for "telling him how to play his character" I must say it bothers mme when he jumps in and interrupts another player tellign them what to do. He has even jumped in screaming "No they don't do that, they should,..." I've told him to stop and let others play there characters. Other players are starting to stand up to him, I have intervened more than once. I doubt it will become a huge issue, as others and I have addressed the issue of trying to play others characters.

Has anyone els had this problem. How did you guys deal with it?
#2
i_roll_ones
Aug 12, 2009 17:53:13 1) Hush him up if he interrupts. Even if you have to start taking actions away from him.

2) Have him convince the other characters IN character. Many people forget to well, convince others of their actions, so ICly it tends to get weird. I generally just RP it as some crazy screaming psycho running up to you and demanding that you follow them to some dangerous place.

3) Take turns! Sometimes it helps if you go in a circle with each person offering suggestions, with no comments until all are presented.
#3
Mad_Jack
Aug 12, 2009 19:17:05 Several times over the years I've had people trying to tell me how to run my character. If someone has a habit of interrupting my turn to tell me what I should do, whenever they open their mouth on my turn, I immediately interrupt them with a very firm, "No, I [i]don't/won't/can't/etc.[/I"]

When people have an issue distinguishing between advice/suggestions and imposing their point of view on others, I generally take them aside after the session and clearly and firmly explain the difference, and that, since it's not their character, it's entirely up to the other player whether or not they choose to follow the person's advice. You'd be amazed how many people have absolutely no idea that they're being in any way offensive or annoying by doing that - it's just never occured to them that anything exists outside their own point of view.

I've always told people who've tried that crap with me that while I appreciate that they're trying to be helpful, that I also reserve the right to think for myself, and to play my character as I see fit, whether or not it fits with how anyone else thinks I should. And if it appears that they can't handle that, I tell them that if they continue to engage in their current behavior, they've officially given up their right to get upset if I say something rude to them when they do it.

... Not that the following anecdote is in any way helpful to the situation, lol, but one time we had a guy who used to pretty much foam at the mouth over anything (from in-combat actions to a single "misplaced" skill point) that didn't fit in with his view of "HOW IT SHOULD BE". In the middle of one of his attempts to "be helpful" because I was "doing it wrong", I stood up, wrote his name on the top of my character's sheet, and told him, "Y'know what? Now it is your character..."
I then handed him my character, grabbed his sheet and wrote my name on it, and said,"...And this one is mine!"
I then spent the whole rest of the session playing his character, and not one single person in the rest of the party or the DM said a single damn word about it... :D
#4
tygell
Aug 12, 2009 22:46:03 Well, to be fair, are his "suggestions" tactically sound?

Maybe he's just roleplaying a military strategist while everyone else is roleplaying braindead goons.
#5
williamtanner
Aug 12, 2009 23:35:20
How did you guys deal with it?

I had a problem with players doing this, but several disappeared from the game before I implemented a plan, so I've never actually tested this:
Keep a six-sided die handy for every player. If the player offers unsolicited advice to another player when it isn't their turn, place their die on 1. As they repeat the offense, keep incrementing from 2 to 6. Any die role that player makes before their next turn is over is reduced by the number on their die. Once they've made their turn, the die comes back off the table.

The rationale is that the character is distracted by what everyone else is doing.

I'd do it without explaining, until asked, but not warn or negotiate with them. If players want to ask specific people for advice, and you want to allow it, that is fine, but advice unasked for is a no-no.
#6
jutter
Aug 13, 2009 3:17:15 I generally ask the offending player some relevant but obscure knowledge about the character he is trying to guide.
- "What is the modifier on his Will save?"
- "Huh? I don't know!"
- "Then maybe it's best to let the character be played by the guy who does know."

Works best when asked by a third party.
#7
nightson
Aug 13, 2009 3:37:48 Offer him tips on being more polite. Don't interrupt people, wait till they finish then say something. Phrase it in a polite way, "If you move here won't you have flanking or combat advantage?" for example. "Can I make a suggestion" and "Can I ask a question" are both polite ways to ask permission to give advice. If someone looks annoyed, then you just need to back off. They could be about to kill their character and you shouldn't say anything.

Also staying away from people's character builds is a good idea.
#8
slobo777a
Aug 13, 2009 4:07:41
Last night one of my players got annoyed at another for "telling him how to play his character" I must say it bothers mme when he jumps in and interrupts another player tellign them what to do. He has even jumped in screaming "No they don't do that, they should,..." I've told him to stop and let others play there characters. Other players are starting to stand up to him, I have intervened more than once. I doubt it will become a huge issue, as others and I have addressed the issue of trying to play others characters.

Has anyone els had this problem. How did you guys deal with it?

Looks like you are dealing with it fine.

It's a player behaviour issue, so best kept in that realm if possible.

We have one "keen tactician" in the group, who means well, but gets a bit jumpy in combat when chances for flanking get missed etc. He's always fine when reminded that the other character is not in fact his to play.

If you feel like throwing him a consolation prize, let him decide moves for an ally NPC every now and then. He'll probably love that. Just don't make it a long-term addition to the party.
#9
phoenix_daughter
Aug 13, 2009 8:35:50
Well, to be fair, are his "suggestions" tactically sound?

I tend to do this because I'm much better at tactical combat than roleplaying, but I'm very conscious of being polite about it. I usually go with a variation on, "Hey, I don't know if you noticed, but if you move here instead of there, you'll be in good positioning for X." If this guy thinks he's offering some valuable information, that's fine, but make some things clear to him.

1) He does not interrupt people to give his advice. Explain to him (if necessary - things like this should be common sense) that not only is that rude, but it tends to make people want to do the opposite of his suggestion.

2) Remind him that his suggestions are just that - suggestions. It's ultimately up to the player what they want their character to do. His teammates will most likely be grateful to have a good move pointed out to them, but they won't appreciate it if it's given in an arrogant 'I can play your character better than you' tone.

It's possible that he doesn't even notice how rude he's being. Bring it to his attention, suggest some alternatives, and give him a chance to mend it. If he still won't change, then penalize him to get the point across.
#10
Vyvyan_Basterd_02
Aug 13, 2009 8:57:43 When this problem occurred (or sometimes still occurs) in our group, the offended player will usually just say "do you want to play my character?!" And then plop his sheet in front of the offender. This odd display usually grabs the offender's attention to realize that he is butting in where he isn't welcome. It seems childish, but then again it is open discussion of a sort and accomplishes what the offended player wanted without any real hurt feelings.
#11
kujihn
Aug 14, 2009 15:30:01 I had a problem like that in another group. "You should really do such and such"

And after 5 weeks of repeated behaviour... I eventually replied "WOW! Your character is capable of telepathy and is allknowing?!?!"

At which point they shut up pretty quickly.

I didn't mind the first couple of weeks ... but if a player keeps doing it ... you have to put it down harshly that you're fed up with it.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 sirkaikillah Aug 12, 2009 17:49:02	Last night one of my players got annoyed at another for "telling him how to play his character" I must say it bothers mme when he jumps in and interrupts another player tellign them what to do. He has even jumped in screaming "No they don't do that, they should,..." I've told him to stop and let others play there characters. Other players are starting to stand up to him, I have intervened more than once. I doubt it will become a huge issue, as others and I have addressed the issue of trying to play others characters. Has anyone els had this problem. How did you guys deal with it?
#2 i_roll_ones Aug 12, 2009 17:53:13	1) Hush him up if he interrupts. Even if you have to start taking actions away from him. 2) Have him convince the other characters IN character. Many people forget to well, convince others of their actions, so ICly it tends to get weird. I generally just RP it as some crazy screaming psycho running up to you and demanding that you follow them to some dangerous place. 3) Take turns! Sometimes it helps if you go in a circle with each person offering suggestions, with no comments until all are presented.
#3 Mad_Jack Aug 12, 2009 19:17:05	Several times over the years I've had people trying to tell me how to run my character. If someone has a habit of interrupting my turn to tell me what I should do, whenever they open their mouth on my turn, I immediately interrupt them with a very firm, "No, I [i]don't/won't/can't/etc.[/I"] When people have an issue distinguishing between advice/suggestions and imposing their point of view on others, I generally take them aside after the session and clearly and firmly explain the difference, and that, since it's not their character, it's entirely up to the other player whether or not they choose to follow the person's advice. You'd be amazed how many people have absolutely no idea that they're being in any way offensive or annoying by doing that - it's just never occured to them that anything exists outside their own point of view. I've always told people who've tried that crap with me that while I appreciate that they're trying to be helpful, that I also reserve the right to think for myself, and to play my character as I see fit, whether or not it fits with how anyone else thinks I should. And if it appears that they can't handle that, I tell them that if they continue to engage in their current behavior, they've officially given up their right to get upset if I say something rude to them when they do it. ... Not that the following anecdote is in any way helpful to the situation, lol, but one time we had a guy who used to pretty much foam at the mouth over anything (from in-combat actions to a single "misplaced" skill point) that didn't fit in with his view of "HOW IT SHOULD BE". In the middle of one of his attempts to "be helpful" because I was "doing it wrong", I stood up, wrote his name on the top of my character's sheet, and told him, "Y'know what? Now it is your character..." I then handed him my character, grabbed his sheet and wrote my name on it, and said,"...And this one is mine!" I then spent the whole rest of the session playing his character, and not one single person in the rest of the party or the DM said a single damn word about it... :D
#4 tygell Aug 12, 2009 22:46:03	Well, to be fair, are his "suggestions" tactically sound? Maybe he's just roleplaying a military strategist while everyone else is roleplaying braindead goons.
#5 williamtanner Aug 12, 2009 23:35:20	How did you guys deal with it? I had a problem with players doing this, but several disappeared from the game before I implemented a plan, so I've never actually tested this: Keep a six-sided die handy for every player. If the player offers unsolicited advice to another player when it isn't their turn, place their die on 1. As they repeat the offense, keep incrementing from 2 to 6. Any die role that player makes before their next turn is over is reduced by the number on their die. Once they've made their turn, the die comes back off the table. The rationale is that the character is distracted by what everyone else is doing. I'd do it without explaining, until asked, but not warn or negotiate with them. If players want to ask specific people for advice, and you want to allow it, that is fine, but advice unasked for is a no-no.
#6 jutter Aug 13, 2009 3:17:15	I generally ask the offending player some relevant but obscure knowledge about the character he is trying to guide. - "What is the modifier on his Will save?" - "Huh? I don't know!" - "Then maybe it's best to let the character be played by the guy who does know." Works best when asked by a third party.
#7 nightson Aug 13, 2009 3:37:48	Offer him tips on being more polite. Don't interrupt people, wait till they finish then say something. Phrase it in a polite way, "If you move here won't you have flanking or combat advantage?" for example. "Can I make a suggestion" and "Can I ask a question" are both polite ways to ask permission to give advice. If someone looks annoyed, then you just need to back off. They could be about to kill their character and you shouldn't say anything. Also staying away from people's character builds is a good idea.
#8 slobo777a Aug 13, 2009 4:07:41	Last night one of my players got annoyed at another for "telling him how to play his character" I must say it bothers mme when he jumps in and interrupts another player tellign them what to do. He has even jumped in screaming "No they don't do that, they should,..." I've told him to stop and let others play there characters. Other players are starting to stand up to him, I have intervened more than once. I doubt it will become a huge issue, as others and I have addressed the issue of trying to play others characters. Has anyone els had this problem. How did you guys deal with it? Looks like you are dealing with it fine. It's a player behaviour issue, so best kept in that realm if possible. We have one "keen tactician" in the group, who means well, but gets a bit jumpy in combat when chances for flanking get missed etc. He's always fine when reminded that the other character is not in fact his to play. If you feel like throwing him a consolation prize, let him decide moves for an ally NPC every now and then. He'll probably love that. Just don't make it a long-term addition to the party.
#9 phoenix_daughter Aug 13, 2009 8:35:50	Well, to be fair, are his "suggestions" tactically sound? I tend to do this because I'm much better at tactical combat than roleplaying, but I'm very conscious of being polite about it. I usually go with a variation on, "Hey, I don't know if you noticed, but if you move here instead of there, you'll be in good positioning for X." If this guy thinks he's offering some valuable information, that's fine, but make some things clear to him. 1) He does not interrupt people to give his advice. Explain to him (if necessary - things like this should be common sense) that not only is that rude, but it tends to make people want to do the opposite of his suggestion. 2) Remind him that his suggestions are just that - suggestions. It's ultimately up to the player what they want their character to do. His teammates will most likely be grateful to have a good move pointed out to them, but they won't appreciate it if it's given in an arrogant 'I can play your character better than you' tone. It's possible that he doesn't even notice how rude he's being. Bring it to his attention, suggest some alternatives, and give him a chance to mend it. If he still won't change, then penalize him to get the point across.
#10 Vyvyan_Basterd_02 Aug 13, 2009 8:57:43	When this problem occurred (or sometimes still occurs) in our group, the offended player will usually just say "do you want to play my character?!" And then plop his sheet in front of the offender. This odd display usually grabs the offender's attention to realize that he is butting in where he isn't welcome. It seems childish, but then again it is open discussion of a sort and accomplishes what the offended player wanted without any real hurt feelings.
#11 kujihn Aug 14, 2009 15:30:01	I had a problem like that in another group. "You should really do such and such" And after 5 weeks of repeated behaviour... I eventually replied "WOW! Your character is capable of telepathy and is allknowing?!?!" At which point they shut up pretty quickly. I didn't mind the first couple of weeks ... but if a player keeps doing it ... you have to put it down harshly that you're fed up with it.